Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 1: New Year, New Beginnings

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

The Wolf & Owl are back and ready for 2024! We’re talking… podcast logos, mistaken identities, the infamous Davis/Ranganathan Christmas lunch, £7 Panettone, a Wolf & Owl trip to New York, Tom’s foxes and a noisy neighbour problem, lime pickle vs mango chutney, New Years parties and failing to look cool. Plus, some email questions about making sure you’re making the most of things and our favourite book and film adaptations. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor. Open a Questrade First Home Savings Account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. This episode is brought to you by Secret. Secret deodorant gives you 72 hours of clinically proven odor protection, free of aluminum, parabens, dyes, talc, and baking soda. It's made with pH-balancing minerals and crafted with skin-conditioning oils.

So whether you're going for a run or just running late, do what life throws your way and smell like you didn't. Find Secret at your nearest Walmart or Shoppers Drug Mart today. Yeah, what do you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all last Requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts Get severed and served

Bring your weak shit Wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake That's an awful howler Both of them are known To pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck their censorship Let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill Never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun Oh my goodness happy new year it's Romesh and Tom aka the wolf and owl you forgot that you forgot that

no it's just I realised I said it's Romesh and Tom which would be the owl and wolf yeah which we messed around with

for a while as a name for a very short time it doesn't work does it the owl and wolf podcast, it was wrong I reckon, I think it would be half as successful if that's what it was called

it was called the owl and the wolf I'm actually talking about that do you think as well right someone said to me the other day the wolf and owl picture that we have is our picture logo for the podcast loads of people have sort of mentioned to me that they didn't realize that that was actually us and what are you talking about well they didn't think number one i still don't have a picture on our podcast page for a long time it was that weird old man. Well, not so weird old man.

Yes, yeah. Now you've just got a blank thing, haven't you? Yeah. Yeah. Which sort of feels quite strange. Then I also kind of like it because it's kind of

that sort of cool, ambiguous, like I'm the edgelord type thing. Yeah, because one of the things that I always think about is you're so enigmatic. It's difficult to know

what you're about. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. On Instagram, you're so enigmatic. It's difficult to know what you're about. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. On Instagram, you're so mysterious. You're one step below just putting up a story about how you've taken a shit

one morning. Oh, yeah. Well, to be fair, I think I have to know the Christmas. I liked your time lapse of your assault bike. Did you really?

Did you? Was it 30 seconds on, 30 seconds off? Yeah, yeah. Have you done the assault bike? Yeah, I have do it was it 30 seconds on 30 seconds off yeah yeah have you done the assault bike yeah i have i don't like it i mean i don't i mean i don't like it the reason i don't like it is the reason that it's good i guess is that it feels horrible it's um it's an absolute burner man it's a killer yeah it's an assault yeah it's assault on your body and your mind yeah is that your bike yeah yeah yeah i, yeah, I've got it locked up. So you own an assault bike?

Yeah, everyone else went for Pelotons, I went for an assault bike. Yeah, no, you're edgy like that. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's the kind of decision a guy who doesn't have a picture on his podcast would... Yeah, that's the kind of guy that people thought was an old man for a long time. That's the kind of thing that he does. Also, I've got to say, that old man was amazingly successful. But that old man was an old man for a long time that's the kind of thing that he does also that old man was

amazingly successful but that old man was the sort of writer of his own in my life in the future there might be

another Tom Davis that has your photo up as their photo how great is the legendary Tom Davis who did so

many great things is now my photo you know that might happen in the future I think it's less likely with Romesh Ranganathan is that the legendary Tom Davis, who did so many great things, is now my photo. You know, that might happen in the future. I think it's less likely with Romesh Ranganathan, if I'm not wrong. Do you know what? There is another Romesh, if you Google it,

that comes up, isn't there? Well, there is more than one Romesh. Yeah, there's a Romesh that used to play for cricket for Sri Lanka. Yeah, I think he's the one who comes up. He's quite successful, right? Yeah, he is, yeah. Is it quite, in Sri Lanka,

is it quite a sort of common name, Ramesh? It's not as common as Ramesh, I don't think. Ramesh, by the way,

if I had a pound for everyone who comes up to me and said, your mate Ramesh is really funny, I'd have a thousand pounds at least.

Yeah, okay. And I always think that's such a big thing to say because it's a real big compliment but you've got his name completely wrong. That's's like if someone went up to you and said cool you know what i like is your mate tim well actually tom over christmas um it almost sounds like i'm

making this up but it's genuinely true uh i went for i went for uh and uh went out for a curry for my mother-in-law's birthday on New Year's it was actually on New Year's Eve yeah and I was in the toilet and a guy walked in and went oh my god

you're the comedian aren't you I said yeah I'm a comedian he goes Moe whoa wow he thought for a second he thought

I was Moe Gilligan well to be fair that's a bit of a compliment in a sense Moe's a good looking guy he is a very good looking guy yeah

I mean I can't imagine Mo would be happy to hear that no and also there's quite a lot of differences

between you and Mo I would say that you looked if I was going to go oh yeah who does Romesh look like or who does Mo look like

there's not a lot of similarities is there no I'd say it'd be less of a surprise if he said Tom Davis. Generally, yes.

No, I'm not joking. If he said that, I'd be like, Tom Davis. I'd get plucks. It's like... Yeah. Well, look,

we've got to do this fake thing now where I sort of know, but how was your Christmas in New Year? Well, Christmas, Catherine got ill just before Christmas, so we had to miss a few engagements and a few things we were going to do, but then... We thought about saying that as well, but we ended up turning that to stuff.

Quite late, though, when you turned up to some stuff. Yeah, OK, right. So the great bleep bleep happened yeah which we can now reveal was the 27th of December at the Grove

which was lovely it was it was it was eventually it was lovely however the the

sat-nav whatever it's called Waze whatever you want to call it I love the way you put sat-nav still your tom-tom I love it if. You're a tom-tom. I can tell if you still like the tom-tom.

Yeah. So the cartographer that we consulted on how to get there suggested it would take an hour and a quarter. Yeah. We gave it two hours. Yeah. And in the end, it took just over three, I think, to get to you. And look, that was one thing. I felt very guilty. Yeah, but I... First of all, I think, to get to you. And look, that was one thing.

I felt very guilty. Yeah, but I felt really bad for you. Well, I didn't feel like I felt that bad. But I would say initially what was quite annoying was... One of the things that was really annoying was, right, because I thought at first you were texting, going, I'm probably going to be in here about quarter past two, which was 15 minutes late right yeah so i'd

sort of started by this time because you had you were late arriving i started chatting to um other people around us like other tables um and then i sort of said oh my mate's gonna be here but he's been late quite funny to wind him up when he gets here um and obviously then it sort of that time got later and later. Then I started feeling bad about the fact that, because I could tell you were quite anxious. I just felt, I thought you were there with Catherine and Grace. I just thought it's a bit out of order that you're having to sit there.

You're probably on your fourth meal by that stage. Well, no, we held back for like until 25 past. We gave you 25 minutes and then I was like we can't sit here with no food it's on a massive table on a banquet table a lot of people

come out why have you got such a big table I was like yeah my friends are really late there's been an accident on the 25th

yeah and then when we did turn up well the thing that you sent me that really stressed me out was it ended up that we were going

to get there for we're supposed to be there at 2 we're getting there for quarter past three and about quarter two three you informed me that the buffet buffet closed at half past three so when we arrived it was basically fucking supermarket suite it was me and the kids running around the thing trying to grab one of the sweetest things i've seen in a long time is you getting Lisa her food. I thought that was really lovely. Yeah.

Well, she actually commended me on my selection. Yeah, I know, but it was a really sweet sign of like, her face when she saw that you'd done that was really lovely. It was a real moment. Well, I mean, let's put this into full context

so it doesn't look like it's another example of a bloke taking credit when he doesn't deserve it. I'd let Lisa park the car and I'd come in with the kids. Yeah. So the very least I could do was get... I mean, the idea that I would not get her food

and she comes and sits down, we're all chowing down in the buffet's clothes, that's a scenario that I'd only want to fucking... That would have been, yeah. ...become one of my worst nightmares. Yeah. So, you know, her positive reaction is possibly a sign of her low expectations. Do you think there's a world where Lisa thought that you wouldn't get her food?

No, I said, I told her, I told her I'd grab her something. It's so bad. She'd come walking in and you and the boys were chowing down, really enjoying your food. And she'd go on, on oh did you get me something and you're like no and then the buffet the buffet had been closed and then she'd go what a horrible afternoon that would have been but um i did feel a bit of pressure yeah of course you're you're you're a vegan selecting food for a quite a big meat here like someone who's not a big she's not

she's not a big meat eater she does meat though right she does like meat yeah so I did feel a bit of pressure I felt so much pressure somebody came up to me to try and talk to me and I was under such pressure to get this food

I'm slightly nervous so I wasn't as polite as I could have I was polite but I wasn't as effusive were you more polite to the person who well look the person said like came up and said aren't you a famous comedian or something didn't they yeah yeah which is always i find like that's a bit like negging isn't it he knows who you are they know you are and they're doing it no i don't know that for sure he wasn't it didn't look like an act to me it looked like somebody had said to him that's a comedian over there and then he came over to find out who it was that's what it felt like anyway the long and the short of it is i wasn't happy with my response no um how were you with the guy who came up to you in the toilet with the mo game fine totally fine i said to him it's

not mo it's it's romesh i didn't say it like that even then as i said it there it sounds worse than how i said it no it's from did you laugh or did i laugh i don't think i did laugh no i mean i sort of washing my hands immediately post piss yeah and also i was in there with charlie and i was a bit concerned about well i just wanted to make sure charlie washed his hands properly so weirdly for someone like me that's a high pressure situation yeah also it's a weird situation to be in there with your son and someone just sort of starting a formal conversation getting you sort of yeah I feel like toilets I feel like toilets are not I just sort of feel I don't feel comfortable talking in

toilets I mean I think I think toilets should be acquired that's why I started using cubicles I use urinal because people start talking to me at the urinal and I fucking hate should be a quiet zone. That's why I started using cubicles. I wanted to use a urinal because people have started talking to me at the urinal and I fucking hate it. I love a chat. Yeah. Yeah, I love to chat and meet new people, but I think the toilet should be a quiet zone. Unless it's an emergency or something really bad happens

right in there, then obviously it's all... When we came to meet you, bearing in mind that, like, you know, obviously Lisa and Catherine have met a few times but did you do you feel any pressure in those situations

coming together of the two great clans no no no no no I sort of felt quite relaxed I think as well because

a lot of the pressure had sort of fallen on you in the end because you were so I obviously picked a venue but you were so late I knew that we'd have been

well you were kind enough to pick a venue that was what seven minutes from your house so you were so late I knew that we'd have to well you were kind enough to pick a venue that was what seven minutes from your house so you were on time I did think that actually I thought

oh shit next time we do this we should probably go somewhere that's 50-50 sort of half and half yeah because Lisa who I'd say

Lisa's one of the loveliest people I've ever met in my life but Lisa's face when I said that I lived like 15 minutes away was yeah well that was talked about

on the way home. Lisa, that's... I'm only joking. It wasn't really. Yeah. But I... But the other thing that happened was that we had a little wander around.

Went into the games room. Yeah. That was nice, wasn't it? And then we went and sat down and had a nice little bit of afternoon tea. Yeah. Well, I had a cocktail, actually.

Yeah. You were drinking, actually. You really got loaded up. Yeah. Well, I had a cocktail, actually. Yeah, I was drinking, actually. You really got loaded up. Yeah, well, it's just that I like the... I just wanted a little Christmas cocktail. I didn't get drunk. No, no, it was a cute thing, though, when you ordered your mojito. Yeah.

Was it mojito or margarita? Margarita. Margarita, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and it's a cute little thing when you went and got a piece of panettone not realising it was seven quid. That was insane, by the way. That was like, I've actually written an email about that.

Why? Because it doesn't say anything. So I didn't go and get a panettone. It does say. There was a sign there. Let's get a story right. Number one, Grace, you know, Grace was running riot in that place, which was quite embarrassing.

Like, you know, she's a two-year-old, but she likes to have her voice heard. I'm going to tell you this now. I thought she's behaved impeccably. I think for a child of that age, I think that was perfect behaviour. Oh, thank you. You can't expect them, you can't expect Grace

to be sat down quietly engaging in a polite Christmas conversation. Well, I think it's because I'm seven pounds in the heart. Well, you are because you kindly got that, the coffee and stuff. But she basically

went up and was pointing at the panettone even though she just had a big buffet meal I mean she's her father's daughter

I'm proud of that and then she was pointing at his panettone so I thought I'll grab a bit out there was no price on it

it just said panettone he got her a piece of the panettone and then sat down to eat and then I was informed it was seven pounds a pot

which is insane yeah it's insane it's a pot of pizza. Which is insane. Yeah. It's insane. It's a lot of money. Yeah, for a piece of palatoni. It's a good palatoni. Did you have a bit?

Well, we finished it in the end as a family. Right, yeah. You basically have to when you've forked out that amount of money. Well, yeah, seven pounds for a piece of palatoni. You're not leaving it on the plate, are you? No, absolutely. I mean, if I was honest, Grace had about three bites. I was partly tempted to see if I could take it back. Cut around the bits

that she'd sort of sucked on. Yeah. But yes. But it was very nice, it was very nice, wasn't it? It was, the boys were lovely.

Yeah. Can I say how, like watching your boys, how lovely, like genuinely how respectful and like, there was, so we went in that game room

and there was one, I mean, I think we call it a game, we play fast and loose with the word game room, there was one, when I had a quick scan of it, all I saw was that car room and there was one, I mean, I think we call it a game, we're playing fast and loose with the word games room. There was one computer, when I had a quick scan of it, all I saw was that card game. Well, you made it out like we were going

into some sort of high level arcade, is the impression that you give me. Yeah, and what felt really bad is the level that Alex- You alphed the group into that room. Alex and Charlie sprinted nearly the whole way there on the pretender. And also quite sort of, they just got back to New York, where I'm sure there's loads of cool arcades and stuff, right?

Mm. You ever say something and instantly regret it? I don't know why you regretted that. I felt like you enjoyed it. I've never been to New York. No, that was a laugh of shame. I've never been to New York no no that was a laugh of shame I've never been to New York um

right so the idea that there's loads of cool arcades and that's what you like New York is essentially a big version

of sort of like New Key or Brighton yeah just arcades everywhere that tickled you no no just because it's just that's

yeah in a sense the way I look at New York is a bit how Tom Hanks in Big would have looked in New York. Yeah. That's how I sort of still want New York to be. That's how it is.

Really? Yeah, I feel like, you know, whenever you go, whenever I go to New York, because it's been in so many films or whatever, because there's so many things that have become iconic about that city, you always feel like, I always feel like a bit of a kid when I go there.

Well, my dream for 2024 would be me and you go to New York together. Yeah. become iconic about that city you always feel like I always feel like a bit of a kid when I go there and then going there in Christmas day my dream in 2024 would be to go me and you go to New York together yeah

yeah just the two of us yeah just go for like a long weekend I don't know just hang out do fucking cool

like I don't know like rent an apartment like he does in big and have all that big fucking inflatables and like fight them and stuff and then like you know that feels like that feels like something we're better he does in big and have all that big fucking inflatables and like fight them and stuff.

And then like, you know. That feels like, that feels like something we're better off doing in the UK in terms of the costs involved. Going all the way there to spend two days

in a room. No, no, no. With an inflatable in it. No, we'll hang about, like we'll go and like,

I don't know, have pizza, go and see like, you know, some of the sites, Statue of Liberty and stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Central Park, Central Park as well well um yeah probably just sort of like yeah probably do a couple of gigs while we're there just have a bit of a laugh just like take yeah yeah okay just take the brakes off and just go fucking yeah yeah what's the drinking scene like in new york well the drinking scene is very different to how it is in the uk i mean like that they don't drink with everything in the way that in Wallachia yeah what's the drinking scene like in New York well the drinking scene is very different to how it is in the UK I mean like that they don't drink with everything in the way that we do

in the UK I don't think it's not like I didn't see any pubs I don't think it's all bars cool bars yeah

and like they don't it's just not like I didn't I very you don't see people on the sesh I haven't but do you think

that is like just like mainly an English thing I think so you don't see people on the sesh. I haven't. But do you think that is like, just like, maybe an English thing? I think so. Because you're more well-travelled than we are. Like, I am. No, but I do think it is more of a British, like, maybe a British thing rather than English. But like, I do think so. Like, I feel like drink doesn't dominate proceedings in the way that it does.

Because all my travelling, right, essentially is going to places that you go to as a lads holiday right or right subsequently where me and katherine which is places that other english couples go on holidays like yeah i've i've i think i've been out of europe twice so when i look at like the places i've gone i think like fucking like and that i would if you went oh yeah i go everywhere you go people are on the fucking piss everyone's always getting drunk and then i break it down i think well that's just us this english irish and scottish and welsh we're all just doing that yeah like it's seldom that i go oh yeah i got smashed with a bunch of greek geezers do you know what i mean like in in Rhodes so now I look at it in the world

and I think is that just something that we just is that our stamp now as a nation that we I think it might be an unfortunate

signature for us yeah maybe so even in say if you went to New York would there be like because say for example I was looking at

this year when like UFC Vegas Fight Week in July I was like at this year when UFC Vegas fight week in July I was like fuck it I might sit

just go over there maybe it's a pal's birthday it's the 15th a group of us might go and I'm like but that would just be a load of Irish and English because Conor McGregor's fight

and so it would just be a load of people it wouldn't be when I went to Vegas before it was like I don't think I saw that many Americans getting on it it was more other English people no but think i think in vegas people again i mean look

look i don't want to make it out like there's no drinking in new york that's obviously bullshit like i went i went to when i like earlier on in the year last year i did a show at uh in new york and then i had a dj stips this d DJ called Stips, who was doing the support. And he was playing at a club afterwards, like this hip hop club. So I went with him afterwards and people were drinking. But what I would say is like, it didn't feel like, it just didn't feel like people were on it. Like what I mean is it didn't feel like everybody was on it. Like, what I mean is, it didn't feel like everybody was smashed. Do you know what I mean?

Like, it might be my perception, but there are a couple of drunk people, but it didn't feel like, it's just people weren't battered. They were having a nice time. That is the thing, right? You think, like, for us, that culturally,

we'll go out and just, I'm saying Sunday afternoon, right? Yeah. The only reason I didn't have any beers when we were out with you is literally because I'd just got over the flu, Catherine's just got over the flu

and I was feeling like shit. Like, I'd felt like, I'd literally just, yeah. But usually if I go out for something... And also you only really do that with sort of friends you know you're going to have a good time with, right? Well, you know...

I mean, you made it very clear it was going to be sort of very quick. There's no danger of this turning into a thing, Joe. If you want to play King Prick, I'm one happy. The reason it was very quick

is because you were an hour and a half late I'd planned from two o'clock we'd sit down we'd have a lovely lunch like you know head of the table

I'm just there cracking some jokes obviously then Grace wanted to sit head of the table which is fine also can you say

this is one of the sweetest things even you had a tear in your eye is when I went look I've put a seat here right next to me for you so you can sit right next to me for you.

So you can sit right next to me. Yeah, that was actually very cute. It was really cute. And also, I should say, you were kind enough to pay for the lunch. Well, yeah, I mean, I haggled a deal on that. Yeah, you managed to get half off for us, didn't you? Well, yeah, because you were only there for half the time. So the whole thing of that is it's a buffet.

You can eat all you can. And I looked at your sweet boys, and I thought, they've been eating all they could. No, that's not true. Actually, to be eat all you can. And I looked at your sweet boys and I thought, they haven't eaten all they could. No, that's not true. Actually, to be fair, I will say, Charlie, by the way, I looked at, I was very proud of Charlie. Charlie used every second in there for the good of the buffet. Nothing would pass him.

Charlie is one of the most prolific eaters I've ever seen. Yeah, incredible. Incredible young man when it comes to buffets. And will try anything it's bizarre but he so he was the only one out of your

your mob out of your gang out of your family who managed to get two plates from the savoury selection from what I can see yes

and about three plates from the dessert selection yeah yeah he really did tuck in yeah it was great work for a little man well I actually felt at one point like saying to the guy

who I had to do this, look, you know what, out of pride, that young man over there I'll pay full price for because he ate two hours' worth of food. Yeah, you didn't though, did you? No, no, no. No, no, you paid half price for him. Yeah.

And he did eat two hours' worth of food for even, I'd say, a decent adult. Yeah, no, he was good, he was good. He was good like that. He packs it away. Yeah. And he did eat two hours worth of food for even, I'd say, a decent adult. Yeah, no, he was good. He's good. He's good like that. He packs it away. Yeah. So let's be clear.

When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm. The answer is FedEx. Okay. But what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive.

Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx. Oh. But let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks.

No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx. Where now meets next. We all have the power to shape the world. We're connected to the world we share, to each other. I am future. I wait in the world of Echo.

Discover the extraordinary with Echo, the spectacular new show by Cirque du Soleil. Opens May 8th under the Big Top at Toronto Lakeshore Boulevard West. Tickets at CirqueDuSoleil.com. The world is yours to create. Echo thanks its presenting partners Sun Life and its official partners Air Canada and MasterCard. Oh no, I can't be out of ink. Not now. Mega tank. Why do I do this to myself?

Ah, what's that printer that comes with 30 times the ink? Megatank. Yes, it's a Canon. Megaphone? Megatank. It's a Canon printer. It comes with like two grand worth of ink. Prints me over 7,700 color pages.

Megatank. Mega what? Listen to the voice in your head and get a Canon Megatank printer so you don't have to think about ink for a long, long time. Visit canon.ca slash megatank printer so you don't have to think about ink for a long, long time. Visit canon.ca slash Megatank for details. How was your New Year's?

Chill, man. I mean, not as bad. Very chill. Me and Catherine actually had that thing where we had like a student's inquiry on what, like,

it's a hard one because obviously Grace is of an age where you're not celebrating too much she goes to bed and then we just sat there

and it was like nine o'clock and we thought we should have probably arranged to do something or sort of at least we had a take away

lovely coming can I actually shout out a listener of this after I was bemoaned the fact there was no decent

Indian restaurants near me got in touch on Instagram, DM me and gave me a restaurant and since subsequently I've had it six or seven times, it's one of the best curries I've ever had in my life. So for that, thank you. Yeah, and based on how many times you've been, thank you on behalf of the restaurant as well. I will say this actually as well my fucking neighbors um have i told you

the fox story uh oh yeah no so when i've moved into this where i live now um i was here for about a month and a half i was playing in front garden with grace and my neighbor came over right and he said oh hello um you know you people have moved in i was like yeah yeah they said all right yeah have you um have you had a fox a big fox that's come in your garden um at all oh yeah i've seen that fox lives he's coming he had a poo in our garden the other day i mean i thought i would watch him and laugh and he went we've never had a problem with foxes until you moved in no he did not i swear i I swear, I swear now. I swear, mate.

I was like, what? And he was like, we've not had a problem with foxes. Like, I've brought foxes to the neighborhood. I don't know if it was one way. What about your behavior would encourage foxes? I don't know. Is it that is it your, is it that matter?

I was out in front of my house in a, in a vest top and a pair of shorts. Were you eating a lamb chop on the driveway? I, I have been out in front

eating with Grace's. Yeah. I mean, he can see me in the front garden. Yeah. And yeah, sometimes I will just be in a pair of shorts,

like football shorts and a pair of sliders. Yeah. Um, yeah, but that is my way. By the way, that's where the weather's coming, not like now.

Yeah, sure, sure, sure. Yeah. And I don't think that behaviour encourages foxes. If anything, it's a deterrent. So I thought at that point... Behaving like some sort of scare fox. At that point, I thought, this is going to be...

This is the first interaction I've had with this guy and he was and he's quite no do you know what this is a weird thing to say but I quite

there's a part of me that kind of thought oh like I've moved from like a new estate where we were sort of part of a bit of a community

and sort of everyone had moved there at the same time and I felt sort of you know more it was more people that I got on with and sort of everyone had moved there at the same time and I felt sort of you know more it was more people that I got on with

and sort of probably from similar backgrounds he's clearly quite he's a bit more upper class I guess middle class so I was like I could probably take that

sort of sneer you know I've had that most of my life my worry was oh my god is this how grace will be

treated on because it is a sort of mark on class i guess like the fact that you know he the way he talked to me was sort of quite i yeah i know what it is to be talked down to yeah yeah i'm 45 i talk yeah i come from i come from and i am what I am but I was like oh okay is this and I think you know it's fair to say I'm pretty civil

to most people I'm pretty chatty to most people I've met in my life I'm always trying to be as nice as I can but I was like this guy thinks I'm scum

that's how I sort of the way he spoke to me the way he acted so so then on New Year's night at like half twelve like in the way he acted. So, so then on New Year's night, at like half twelve, like,

they start having these fireworks that are like, I swear on my life, at first, when the first one went off, I thought that boiler had exploded. The glass in the house shook, the window shook, right?

I'm like, what the fuck is that? So straight away, checking on Grace. When is that, midnight? Twelve thirty. Right. Oh, later. Yeah. So I'm like, so then I'm like, what the fuck is that? So straight away, you check on Grace. When is that? Midnight. 12.30. Right.

Oh, later. Yeah. So I'm like, so then I'm like, what the fuck is that? Like, I genuinely,

I've been around fireworks a bit. I know fireworks. Right. Jesus Christ. Did you actually say that out loud? So I go, I go to where the sound's coming from, which is

towards his side of the house and he's in the back garden with all his friends smoking cigars and having fucking whatever fucking whiskey

or some shit having this you know I open the window and they let off another two and I'm like I wanted to shout

something derogatory or horrible and I think I can't what would you have shouted do you think fucking stop the fireworks you fucking silly old no it's quite derogatory or horrible and I think I can't what would you have shouted do you think fucking stop the fireworks

you fucking silly old **** no it's quite derogatory yeah okay I think by the way fireworks isn't someone who had a dog I think fireworks

are really irresponsible I think fireworks my dog I thought we'd moved beyond people having fireworks in their back garden I thought it was just

you go to a display yeah I did yeah I didn't realise I didn't realise there's still outlaws fucking people having fireworks in their back garden. I thought it was just you go to a display. Yeah, I did, yeah. I didn't realise they're still outlaws fucking setting them off in their back garden. Well, this guy didn't turn around and said, I hope, he went, that's enough for one night. We'll get the rest of these out for the wedding. Oh, God. It was like, I think it's, he was just, yeah.

How long were you listening for? I was out there probably for about a minute and a half just waiting to, yeah, yeah. Because I was waiting if I heard the two. I had to get enough proof

it was them. Then I was like thinking, do I go down and fucking go into the garden and say, what the fuck are you doing? Like, it's mid-half,

mid-night. Did you really do that? Yeah. I've done that before with people having loud music playing, yeah. But then I thought, no,

just leave it. So, I just closed the window and sort of then lay in bed back to about two o'clock in the morning just laying there just feeling very like i should have said something and i didn't did you did you think about six or seven things that you could have said oh yeah yeah i actually just stands towards the out of that moment yeah i was just laying in bed and also just thinking i'll never be able I can't bring this up in six months if there's an altercation about fucking foxes

or bins or something I can't turn around to him and say oh yeah by the way New Year's last one dickhead that was my yeah that's gone

also by the way like I didn't realise by the way so it was our recycling bin in the week between Christmas and New Year I didn't realise

that wrapping paper wasn't recyclable isn't it no so now I've got to go to the dump today because they didn't realise that wrapping paper wasn't recyclable. Isn't it? No. So now I've got to go to the dump today because they didn't take my fucking recycling. Yeah. And also, this is really bad and I feel bad. My other neighbours

are very sweet women. Very lovely person. I had so much, obviously because of grace and fucking shit that we accrued and we tried to get. So I put some of my recycling in her recycling bin and I didn't take her bin. Did you check with her first?

No, because it was like a last minute decision. Oh my God. Are you serious? Yeah, I feel absolutely mortified. I would not have said that on the podcast. What, really?

What? You just stuck your recycling in someone's bin? Yeah, because to get rid of it she had like half a bin yeah but you don't know she might be bringing out some more later on no no this was i could hit i could see the truck at the end of the street okay fine so i was like i guess it's sort of all right have you told her have you talked to her yeah i went straight down when her thing wasn't taken either oh like they didn't take either of our bins so i had to take them both

overflowed so you thought no no because i put wrapping paper in her bin oh my god so i had to go down and say to her like oh um yeah oh they haven't taken your site either so not only not only did you put stuff in her bin you'd rendered her bin uncollectible yeah with the stuff that you put in yeah that is fucking bad well now i've got to take how did she how did she respond she's such a lovely woman she was like oh my god yeah yeah um what do we do now and i said well look i'll take my stuff and also your stuff um that was don't but first of all do not even the i hope you didn't phrase it like that like that was an offer of assistance that should be the very fucking least

I could do the absolute the absolute least I could do just take that for you so I said I'll take everything that's in your bin I'll bag it up

and I'll take it to the dump right yeah so you're doing that today yeah I'm off there today which you're right about so is that both she said absolute

yeah well yeah you'd have to say that also I did the thing of like like going So you're doing that today? Yeah, I'm almost there today, yeah. Was she all right about it? She said nothing. She said absolute. Yeah. Well, yeah, you'd have to say that. Also, I did the thing of, like, going, what about again with the fireworks as well? Oh, tried to turn her against him. Well, yeah, she said, oh, he always has fireworks at that time. It's very loud. It's not very nice if you've got pets.

I said, all small children. Yeah, so I think we've got a common enemy here. I feel genuinely mortified about that last bit. And I feel like now I should do a real random act of kindness. By the way, she lives alone. I have invited her to all the family parties we've had. She came to the first one and hasn't been back since. No, I don't blame her for that.

Wow, okay. How was your New Year? My New Year's was good. I went for a run with the Swan in the morning. And big news about, are you going to talk about the marathon? Well, no, I wasn't going to, no. Oh, okay. No, Lisa and I have signed up to do a half marathon.

That's pretty cool, man. That's pretty cool. Well, let's see if we actually manage it. I think you put your mind to anything you accomplish here. That's all I'm saying about you. That's very kind of you, but the question is, am I going to put my mind to it?

That's the big... But once you enter something, I've never known you back out. I mean, that's not true. That is not true. I've backed out loads of stuff. I've backed out of more social meetings than I've attended.

That's right, yeah. If I'm honest with you, with the growth, I was. I have backed out of more social meetings than I've attended. That's right, yeah. If I'm honest with you, with the Graves, I was genuinely worried that you wouldn't turn up in the end. Yeah. I was worried this isn't a... Well, you sort of were intimating to me that you were going to leave. No, I wasn't. I was...

Mate, I'd have seen it... If you'd arrived at nine o'clock that night, I'd have still been there. Even if it was on my own. Grace's taking... Catherine's taking Grace home. That's what I said to Lisa. I said to Lisa... Lisa said to me, should we just tell him we're turning around? Because it's a's taking Grace home that's what I said to Lisa I said to Lisa Lisa said to me

should we just tell him we're turning around because it's a nightmare I said listen trust me we need to go that guy needs this he needs us to be there

just keep going I don't care how bad the traffic gets just keep driving so anyway we did a run in the morning and then we went out for

Lisa's mum's birthday. Yeah. Went to this local curry house. Can I ask you a question? Lime pickle or mango chutney? Mango chutney all day, every day. Yeah. Mango chutney.

Lime pickle is... I just think it's delightful. You're obsessed with lime pickle. Do you not like it? Yeah, I don't mind it. I'm not obsessed with lime pickle. I just think it's delicious. Do you know Dennis Fernandez is obsessed with lime?

Yeah, the sound guy on our tours. Yeah, he's obsessed with it. He's obsessed with lime pickle? Yeah, I don't mind it. I'm not obsessed with lime pickle. I just think it's delicious. You know, Dennis Fernandez is obsessed with lime. Yeah, the sound guy. Yeah, obsessed with it. Whenever we go to an Indian restaurant, he'll ask specifically for extra lime pickle.

Yeah, but also... And not only that, he's so into it that he's a bit guarded with it. Yeah, and also, he won't even... Like, the rest of the meal can be absolutely banging, but the thing he'll take away from nearly every curry I've had, it'll be for three or four, it'll just be the level of the lime pickle. Yeah, and that'll be how he assesses the restaurant in general. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, it's very rare that they make it in-house, I would say. So it feels like an unfair assessment. Yeah. But I actually... Did you go with your lime pickle when everyone else was on the mango chat? Like, are you... No, no. Do you have an air of sobriety towards mango chatting? Did you go with your lime pickle when everyone else was on mango chutney? No. Do you have an air of sobriety towards mango chutney? No, I like mango chutney.

Okay, good. Mango chutney and lime pickle are my two go-tos, and then I sort of alternate between them. Sweet, savoury, sweet, savoury, sweet, savoury. Oh, nice. You know? That's classy. Yeah, but I would say that the poppadoms are the highlight of my meal. As they often are when you go to an Indian.

Yeah. I'm all about the naan. I like the pop Indian. Yeah. I'm all about the naan. I love the poppadom, but I'm all about the naan, baby. Really, yeah. What kind of naan do you go for? I mix it up. I went through a phase of getting more stuffed naans, like the meat stuffed and whatever.

But now I'm a classicist. I like a good, just a plain or a garlic naan. Yeah. I think, yeah, a lovely puffy naan you could just put your head on and get a little sleep in if you had to nothing quite like it baby tell you what was magical is at the end of the meal they put these little that brought out a dish and they had what looked like little mints on them right right and then they poured hot water on them and they expanded it yeah so charlie it was so cute, man.

He'd lost his mind. He'd never seen it before. And so I was watching somebody see it for the first time. It was incredible. He's just like, what? What? It's like he'd watched a magic trick. Yes.

It was amazing, man. That's a beautiful thing, that sense of wonder yeah because even now i don't know the science behind that it's pretty amazing yeah i mean it does look quite cool i suppose that's one of the things i think in humanity is like like the first time like the other day we saw a ladybird fly like just bowl about for a bit and then he like it took a just run a little run and then started flying and grace was like that she was it's full of wonder with it like she said wow like that and i thought you know what i can't remember the last time i thought that about

anything no i can remember the last time i got angry about something or annoyed about something but the last time i actually can't i can't i can't i can't remember the last time I actually genuinely Wow, wow. I can't remember the last time I got angry about something. Really? Yeah. Are you joking? No. I couldn't tell you the last time I got angry. Like annoyed is one thing

but to get genuinely like angry. Yeah, not angry, angry but annoyed, pissed off. Get pissy about something. I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you the last time I lost my temper. No, no no no but what I mean

is something that smarts you for a couple of hours and you feel inferior and quite pathetic no I mean feeling inferior and pathetic I can't tell you the time I didn't feel like that

no but you know that moment where you just like it creeps up in you and you're like oh man like the fireworks or the bins

I mean the bins I'll take a little bit of the blame for. Well, I think you have to take all the blame for that, Tom. Yeah, but I... Why is wrapping paper not fucking recyclable?

I swear when I brought it, it said it's recyclable. Yeah, well, I don't think the woman living next door to you saw that sign when she bought it because she didn't buy it. She was just a victim.

Yeah, yeah. I do feel for her. How many days ago was that just a couple of days so i've got to go down with you after this podcast and empty a bin out okay and then empty my own bin out yeah well well done for you know doing that do you think it's a bad thing if i knock on the door after the old the bins done all down there done there. No, I don't think, I don't think you should do that. I think you just do it without ceremony. Oh,

like it's a sort of, like a superhero that's coming at night and helps her out. Yeah, well, I would say, I don't think it's like a superhero, no,

but I think that what you do is you just do it thanklessly. Yeah. You know, you just go and do it. Yeah. Like it's your job, which it is.

So never, because sometimes my thing would be, if I saw her again with the bin, going, bin all right? Is the bin all right now? No, I don't think you should. Never mention the bin again. I don't think you should.

I think you should just clear it away. I think you should be as quiet as you possibly can. Yeah. Get that packed up. Yeah. Get it down the dump. And then, you know, sort of not make a big deal about it would be my... Okay, I'm on it.

That's what I think you should do. And then on New Year's Eve, I went out. Went out for my Hip Hop Save My New Year's Eve. Oh, mate, I saw the party. It was incredible. Yeah. Can I just say thank you to everyone that came? It was very good fun.

Although, it's another example of me thinking what I was doing was a lot cooler than it actually was. So two examples. Go on. Example number one is Martin Too Smooth. Basic shout out to the crowd. He is, by the way, one of the coolest people I've ever... He might be the coolest. It's ridiculous.

But also so sweet and lovely. But genuinely... I know. Just so fucking... I've met a lot of what I deem people I look at and lovely, but genuinely... I know. Just so fucking... I've met a lot of what I deem people I look at and go, how do someone get so cool? How is it so easy?

Have you ever thought that about me? No. I want to be honest. In the same way I doubt you've ever thought that about me. I think in your own way you're cool. Yeah, in your own way you're cool. That's like fucking... That's something that someone all through my school went, in your own way you're very clever, Tom's yeah in your own way you're cool that's like fucking that's something that someone all through my school went in your own way you're very clever tom but you failed all of the exams it's like that's you are cool though you know you dress cool

yeah but i'm not like you know my intuitive is like fucking like like those people who just is effortlessly fucking cool. Yeah, that's true. You're just like, you know, almost walks between the raindrops. Cool. Yeah. The front has that.

The front is naturally very fucking chill. Like it fucking, you're like, how, how is that? How, how do you make it look so fucking manageable and effortless? I adore you and you adore me,

but you can tell when me and you are trying to be cool because you know what the interesting word in there is trying to be cool yeah well it's not I'm saying

it's not interesting but yeah I get I got the point you didn't you didn't need to make it like that with some subtle nuance that you wouldn't

have got on first listen that's the whole point of the fucking sentence anyway at one point during the night Martin said who wants to see

Romesh do the running man and then he pulled back the tune and I started doing the running man and in my and Martin goes give it up for Romesh. How sick was that? And at the time I thought it was sick.

And then somebody tagged me in an Instagram story and I realised it might have been a bit of a pitch. Oh mate, why didn't you repost it? For those exact reasons that I've just described. There's no way. The other thing that we did was we did the Apache dance. Do you know the one from the Fresh Prince? It was dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Yeah. that we did was we did the apache dance do you know the do you know the one from the fresh prince yeah did martin do that with you mark me martin and sav did it yeah uh we all did it as a i say

choreographed it's two moves but we did it at the same time i'm up yeah um and that again i thought looked quite cool and then i saw saw it, and I was just... Oh, God, it was so tragic. I just... It's just another example. Like, that... You know, you talk about DeFront and Martin being cool. One of those things where, for a moment,

I thought I might have looked cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I actually saw the footage back, and it was far from it. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, thank you to everyone who came. Every time I've played sport, every time I've... And every time I've and I think

oh that look you know like for example like hitting a golf shot I think I fucking like it look amazing yeah and I look at it back

and I just genuinely look like somebody who's never held an object let alone seen a ball before yeah it's yeah

yeah it's a sad it's a sad but then we probably wouldn't be comedians if we were cool no no no we certainly wouldn't be comedians if we were cool. No, no, no, no, no. We certainly wouldn't. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor?

Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the taste without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious, Moorish flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food. It's good food in a cup. Visit Kenora.com to learn more.

Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah alexa change station to 99.2 see purchase a 2024 escape st line all-wheel drive with tech pack at 3.49 apr for 72 months with down payment that's just 267 bi-weekly cash value of 40 294 plus eligible ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. For just $4.99, you can get a Subway 6-inch Black Forest ham sub made with our new fresh-sliced deli. But the fresh slicing doesn't stop at beautiful Black Forest ham.

We're talking tantalizing turkey, perfectly piled pepperoni, sensationally sliced salami. So you can lunch legendary, dinnerly breakfast brilliantly we're talking friggin fresh slicing and i'm yelling yes way get a six inch black forest ham for only 4.99 only at subway price and participation may vary extras taxes and delivery additional expires april 8th all right would you like to do some email let's's do it, Mark G. Let's do it. Do you know what, Tom? I've just been thinking. I've been quite relaxed on these last few podcasts, and I think it might be because I'm lying in bed.

Yeah, I think so. I should think about changing it up a bit. Maybe it's like getting back in that studio you've had built. Yeah, that's true. Maybe I should do that. I'll do that next time. Get in that sweet, sweet studio. Lay down a track

um okay thanks once again to The Swan for the uh email selection shout out The Swan uh

this is from The Elk and it says am I doing me or just missing out hello the wolf the cat

and the cub and the owl the swan and your three chicks I've got a pretty unique name so i won't give it to be safe i should call myself the elk first off i love the pod i've been listening since my boyfriend put me onto it when i moved out of home to london this summer and i'm working my way through the episodes at a steaming rate i listen when i'm at home on my own about three

to four eps per day at the moment oh my god at the moment which leads me to the subject of this email sorry that's quite long i'm 19 uh and I'm a uni student in my first year, except for personal reasons. I'm living in a flat, not in halls. I've always been very sensible and all my decision-making is rooted in risk avoidance. I like going to bed at a sensible time. I hardly drink and I'm not a huge fan of loud spaces. I also get quite worried about my safety when I'm out late. The thing is, I'm actually a massive extrovert. I'm happy to rock up to social events on my own. I love chatting to people and having a laugh. I reckon I'm good fun and I like to think there isn't any ice I can't break. I really love people. I'm just not a

nightlife person. I've realised that I spend more time at home hanging with you sweet souls in the headphones than any other people. Oh no. I feel so much pressure to be enjoying a traditional uni life and party. I feel like I'm wasting this phase of life, but I don't like being tired hungover in places i don't feel safe but living alone my days get quite lonely am i missing out or is there something to be said for getting those juicy hours of beauty sleep and focusing on my subject which i love i'm not sure if i'm really doing me or depriving myself of social contact am i right to follow my gut or do i just need to get out of my shell or is there a world there for fun loving people that's not nightlife it'd be such a pleasure to hear your thoughts thank you so much for reading my email the elk ps my boyfriend oscar asked me to tell tom he's a huge fan of murder is successful

also which you recently watched re-watched paddington 2 just to see the lovely wolf and to the outlaw of lovely stand-up and pen and show appearances for years you're both legends that feels like an afterthought but regardless Tom what do you think? So the elk I would say there's quite a few similarities

in a sense with how I felt a lot of these things when I was your age I've always felt like in a social situation I very much

yeah I'd say I'm an extrovert I like to get out I like to chat to people I find that sort of side of me quite um like i enjoy that i enjoy being social i enjoy chats yeah but i also understand that the side of it of the anxiety of going out sometimes of an evening not feeling safe as silly as that might sound and constantly having been told that yeah it's a

what essentially it's a giant that people don't understand it but uh i was obviously i was quite picked on uh when i was younger i was always sort of like seen as a bit of a target i had a target in my back so uh i do understand i would say that i think a lot of this falls into that sort of FOMO, that's the expectation of what people, and I think that doesn't change over time. I think it's exactly what I'm talking about with New Year. Me and Catherine are actually quite happy. We're sort of sitting, we'd had a curry, you know,

we had a lovely evening with Grace. We're then sitting down and you just sit and watch the TV and we're actually having a bit of a laugh together. And then you go on social media and people are out doing things and people are you know bars or clubs or restaurants and then you think oh shit should we be doing more like and sort of almost the sort of side of things that where you actually in yourself felt quite happy and quite content almost fades away and I think because over Christmas you know Catherine was ill I've been ill you then feel like oh we've done enough of it but actually when you break it down we had a really

nice time so I'm honest we'd actually had a laugh it'd been incredible with grace it's sort of like you know spending that time together as a family was we cherished it but then you're like oh should we have done more and should we be out doing this or should we be out doing that should we you know be seeing more people or should we get we get drunk or and i think all those things i don't think it ever goes away in time that you're constantly i think that's just the modern world in a sense i think older generations you didn't have there was an almost like sort of like invasion into your home in your sort of space your personal space of what other people are doing if you were at home you were at home and you were sort of closed off and

you could chill and you won't think you went there wasn't this sort of window into the outside world via your phone and so for some reasons that's amazing that's you know you're sort of social circle it's easy to keep in touch with but other times it is easy just to fall into a trap of thinking oh i should be doing this or i should be doing that I should at the moment you fall into a whole thing of everyone's on the tip of going oh it's January do this do that and I do think there's a part of you that on the 1st of January should look at your life maybe and go I've got to make some changes but I think you can do that all year round I think certainly for myself and my own health and I didn't make massive changes in the first journey.

I made them slowly through the last five or six years. And I just think when it comes to sort of looking at, looking at yourself in that way, it's like you don't have to conform to be anyone that you don't feel that you want to be. You should be yourself always stay true to that. And if you don't feel comfortable going out, don't go out.

There are millions of other things you can do sports you can play uh clubs you can go to if it is a fact of like you know have afternoon drinks bottomless brunch you know and do that in a safe space where you feel like you know you can go home by five or six o'clock like i understand that but i think the biggest thing of all is like when it comes to you as a human being and the person you are, and I've spent a lot of my life trying to sort of break myself to sort of work it, try and be someone at times I'm not. And it took a lot of work on myself to realise that actually saying no and staying true to your own integrity is a really important thing.

So I think if you've got hold of that at 19, that's pretty impressive. So stay you, stay true and do you. Very nice very good thank you do you the elk uh well listen i i sort of agree with what tom said and no surprises there i feel like um what tom's saying is right when you go to uni there's a pressure to just get hammered all the time you're going out till late nights and stuff like that and um i i think like i i think it's about finding what you enjoy doing now the thing is is you're not going out in the like doing the nightlife thing which i totally understand it's not for everybody but at the same time you're feeling like you're missing out so i think there is a possibility that there's a middle ground um of maybe like going out to nice places to eat with your friends

or going and doing something else or finding some common interest that doesn't involve like just staying out and getting hammered or going to loud places or whatever and i think that yeah like as tom said there's loads of different things you can do it you could be doing i don't think you should be feeling any pressure to fit into what is the perceived idea of what is uni about you know you've got to make that experience your own and forcing yourself to go and do some stuff because that's what everybody's supposed to do is not the way i just don't think you need to do that and i i feel like you want to have the experience that you want to have and and that means finding what you enjoy whether that be you

know what we talked about going to a sports club or dinners or whatever it is, you know, some sort of other social, you can do that. Having said that, there is a possibility that you going out, you're fearing it more than the reality of it. Like what I mean by that is it might be better than you think it is. So I think there's probably a world in which you try it and see if you like it, see if you enjoy it. And if you do, great, you could do that more regularly. But if you don't, you sack it off and you do something else that you really want to do. But the main thing I would say to you is don't feel bad about it. Everybody has their own experiences.

And I feel like, you know, Tom and I were talking about it earlier on the podcast. This pressure to be drinking or to be going out to be getting having it large or whatever is such a ridiculous notion that's not how everybody enjoys going out and you shouldn't feel compelled to do that in fact you know i've been talking about this new year's eve thing one of the things that i became sort of aware of is that not everybody wants to go to a club on new year's eve and i've actually been thinking about next year make it an earlier event and do more of a like still a hip-hop theme thing but a bit more of an aversive immersive thing like maybe a bit of hip-hop karaoke maybe a bit of like you know a

bit of nice dinner with nice music playing a bit more of a different type of vibe because not everybody's into like just getting on it and staying up till four or five o'clock in the morning so don't feel any pressure for that to be your life. You're not missing out. You're enjoying uni in the way that you want to enjoy it. And there's probably a world in which you can do both. You can have your social side of things, but also be in a position where you're up and ready for lectures

and not feeling too rough. So look, good luck with that, Elk, but do not feel self-conscious about your life choices at all. And, you know, to reiterate what Tom said, do you. Lovely stuff, Ron. I actually, I like the sadness you hit pop that as well. So that's nice.

Yeah, I think it could be good. It would be nice, yeah, yeah. More like a banqueted hall with, like, Harry Potter's, sort of, with the food. It's actually, I mean, it's not that far away from what I was thinking, to be honest with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'd be like, what's his name? Like, Gandalf who's the Dumbledore yeah Dumbledore yeah

yeah you'd be like the Dumbledore of hip hop I'd be fucking sick if you came out like a Dumbledore cape

and then you sort of ripped it off and underneath you've got like a cool hip hop outfit yeah and then you'd

learn one of those dances that you did badly this year but you did it fucking sick yeah it's not a bad I mean I'm definitely not going to do any sick. Yeah, it's not a bad idea. I mean, I'm definitely not going

to do any of that but yeah, it's not a bad idea. Okay, this is from The Bookworm. Do you know what? Can we just do this

as an experiment? Next podcast, I'm going to do it in the studio. Yeah. I'm going to do it in the studio. sat up.

Yeah. I reckon it's going to make a difference to my performance. Do you think you feel like, are your legs crossed or are they like straight out? Crossed. They're straight out but also crossed. Yeah, I know, yeah. I can feel that in you. I've got no socks on either. Yeah, no, no, no, I don't think it's the socks.

So just over the top of my laptop screen I'm sort of seeing my little titsies. Yeah, I think there's a part of you, yeah, you're still very lethargic. I think you're just, I think you'd be brilliant and you'll use your sort of rapturous self but I think rapturous is the word I was looking for they said it was raucous

because I don't think I've ever known you to be raucous no I don't think I've ever been raucous but yeah

you sort of you've got almost like a sort of quite seductive sort of way about you at the moment okay well I'll file that in a box marked

things I regret bringing up. Hello to the owl, swan and wolf. I decided to arrange my greeting in alphabetical order given the theme of the question I'll eventually get to. And happy holidays. I hope the first annual Davis-Ranganathan excursion to bleep was wonderful. It was.

I've just finished reading a highly expected article suggesting that the Wonka and Credit scene with Mrs. Scrubbit and Mr. Bleacher is actually a teaser for the upcoming adaptation of another Roald Dahl book, The Twits. I loved The Twits as a kid and would be delighted if Tom were to lend his voice to the project. My question is, can you confirm or deny the claim?

Just kidding. If it's true and Tom is involved, I'm sure it's not something that can be talked about, and if it's not true, I'd rather just be disappointed. Got to have a little unverifiable and rather unlikely thing to look forward to in life. So that's the fake question. My real question is... Is that a real thing?

Okay, so this suggests you don't know about it. Listen, as I'm reading it, it makes perfect sense. But there's an article suggesting that you and Olivia Colman's characters are going to be the twits. Have you heard that? No. No. It makes sense though, doesn't it? It would be literally my favourite Roald Dahl book.

Is it really? What makes it your favourite? I love the idea of that as a couple. The fact they're just fucking each other over the whole time. I actually think it's a really, really fun look at a relationship. It's very short. It's not like... I think it's a really really fun look at a relationship it's very short it's not like

I think it's probably one of his shortest books but as an actual one of his I love Rob Darby he's fucking incredible and he's written some absolute bangers

About a Boy very much enjoyed not About a Boy Boy it was called about a boy actually I watched over Christmas really watched that a few

yeah good film right yeah great film really enjoy Hugh Burrell I've got to say he's got the career mate he's smashing it right

I particularly enjoy him in interviews I've got to say yeah yeah but anyhow yeah mate

it would be fucking amazing so yeah but I've never heard that yeah no I mean I think you've misunderstood the questions could you please pitch yourself in the twits which is what you have done amazing so yeah but I've never heard that yeah I mean I think you've misunderstood

the questions could you please pitch yourself in the twits which is what you have done but I think it'd be great

yeah so my real question is this do either of you have favourite books you'd like to see a film or series

adaptation of or would you have any dream casting directing choice for the project I always laugh at the Tom and Rob reboot chats

I'm interested to hear what you come up with happy new year thank you both for sharing a bit of your lovely friendship with us listeners I do I am grateful to the Swan

for selecting the emails I do sometimes feel like she likes emails that put a little bit of improv pressure on us but regardless Tom are there any favourite books you'd like to see a film or series adaptation of? you know not with us in it i'll just

no it doesn't have to be us in it but there's a book called anything for billy which is about billy the kid which i think was written by larry mcmurdy who wrote like uh he's like an amazing western writer but it's an incredible look at that time in the west we've been in a kid and there's amazing characters it's i'm pretty sure i haven't read it for years but i remember reading it there's two books i think that and um as a project for myself you know what i'd be obsessed with doing is uh andre the giant oh really yeah i'd like to do that i'd like to get to a place in my life where i could play andre the giant yeah i'd like to get to a place in my life where i could play anything really really apart from a version of myself I've openly said that I want to do a film with you

that's literally one of my biggest ambitions that's one of my biggest ambitions as an ambition to have I would like by the end of the 20s this is my resolution, I think we should have this together we should have a film project together that we actually work on, we've floated a lot of big ideas on here, look I do think the wrapping

one's a really cool one, but I think that's the second movie. Yeah. No, I think it's an eighth movie where we've run out of ideas and we're just desperately trying to keep this going. But I think it would be cool to fucking do that this year. Well, let's make it our thing.

Yeah. Suggestions welcome. Yeah, any suggestions? I'll make that a fucking think tank that we can all get together with all the fucking the animal pack I think just I'm happy just to get emails

emails DMs so anybody got any film ideas yeah can you send not DMs can you send in

any film ideas oh yeah it would be fucking cool actually if you people make trailers that they could make at home and like play us

as the characters and then sort of that's a that is actually that is actually a good idea if you voice note us your trailer for your film we'll play it on the podcast that'd be cool that's a great idea yeah the the book that i really enjoyed which a lot of people like this book

so it's not really and it's been done as a stage thing and it's already been done as a film it's the book the life of pie oh yeah do you know that book yeah i'd like to do a comedy version of that where i play the small Indian boy and you play the tiger. Oh, wow. That'd be fucking sick. Yeah? Yeah.

Just them two in a boat, sort of odd couple. Yeah. One's kind of a rambunctious tiger. I feel like he'd have a tigger energy about you. Yeah, that's right. Straight away. I'm just playing this little boy

that's kind of slightly depressed about being in the boat and you're trying to keep my spirits up. Would you do it as an animation or would you do it as a... I animation would be easy but no it's tricky in fact even if it wasn't animation to me i think it's a trickier ask for me to play a 12-yard indian boy than it is for you to play the tiger to be honest with you yeah i mean i can easily get targets if you wanted me to get a target because you could do that in a couple of days yeah

i don't i don't think it's us actually going out onto tillgate lake in a boat and filming it with you in a tiger costume that that isn't our you'd have to show your beard off for definite yeah yeah i don't want to do that again really yeah i have to yeah that means you're going to be making the film of your dreams yeah no you're absolutely right probably grow your hair a little bit longer yeah i'm thinking about growing it out a bit longer anyway oh yeah what do you think shoulder length yeah what do you reckon i i would be disappointed if we went for the rest of our lives and you'd never had a man but me too it's like in fact that might be my ambition for the next year that probably take longer than a year probably take two years i mean do you get two years to grow my butt to grow it long enough to tie it up yeah yeah, probably. Like a bob, yeah, a shoulder length

bob. Yeah, if you look cute. Yeah, or look out for it. Anyway, listen, thank you so much Bookworm.

You can get hair extensions. Just try it out for a week or two. You can always see hair extensions though, can't you? No, but it's not if

you get good ones. If you go to like a nice, really good hairdresser. Maybe, you know shout out Jonathan Jonathan Andrews will be able to sort you out there

yeah Jonathan Andrews get in touch hairdresser to the stars yeah can you put extensions to my hair I will happily

fucking float money on this one like for you to have hair extensions for like a month or something yeah okay

yeah just to see how it goes yeah well why don't you get some plugs put in? I'll get some extensions. Mate, plugs are forever. Hair extensions is like... I'll get a wig for like two weeks.

Okay, fine. I'll get... If you get plugs... If you get... I'll get a wig. I'll get a good, decent... I'll go to a decent wig. Okay, so you get a decent wig.

I'll tell you what. Why do we do this? I don't know if I want to get extensions though this is like we'll do something maybe one of the podcasts no no no

I think you've got to get extensions I'll get mate it's worse for me than you how is it worse for you you can take the wig off immediately

I've got extensions in yeah but it looks so cute I think we should try if there's anyone out there like a wigographer I guess you'd call it and like you know yeah

and Jonathan Andrews would definitely be able to sort out the extensions I've no idea I'd quite like extensions that I could just pull out immediately no you've got to get

the ones that go down to your shoulder length at least yeah okay and not a mullet it's like a bob right yeah no not a razor bob

are you joking they're looking like Johnny depp in charlie and the chocolate factory that look cute that boy that look cute anyway thank you for your email the bookworm uh we managed to squeeze some decent content out of that okay tom yo my question for you for 2024, are you still up for taking us out? Yeah, let's do it, baby. Yeah, resolutions, new starts, new beginnings, new yous.

Truth of the matter is the old you wasn't so bad anyhow. Maybe there's just some small adjustments to make. Maybe there's some tinker-tankering to be done under the bonnet. But the truth of the matter is this. A lot of time, a new year starts and we start to reflect on the negatives. We start to truth of the matter is this a lot of time the new year starts and we start to reflect on the negatives we start to look in the mirror and pick apart ourselves i'm more comfortable with that than anyone as is my learning friend sitting opposite me

through a screen on zoom but one thing i really want to do this year is start to great gain and start to grow the positive things inside of me the things that aren't actually that bad start to build and flourish those while i'm constantly kicking myself about the lows that i feel that's easier said than done because your mental health is always going to take a knock and you're always going to have to water the plants that sometimes need the water in most but let the sun shine on your bigger points the pluses the things that people say about you that sometimes you dismiss and you push away. Let those moments be the moments that you savour rather than looking down and feeling grey and feeling low.

See, life is short, and sometimes in the short space of time we have here, we focus a little too much on the wrongs rather than the rights. So do the right thing and be the best you, and go get 24 baby go get 24 baby I'm going to

pick to play us out another song from my winter warmer playlist it's a song called two sides by

Vic and it's a couple breaking up and they do both the the male and the female side it's really nice

I mean you won't hear both sides yeah we've got a little thug trying to get in the room now

yeah what's going on? Grace is trying to smash in. Look, guys, I think it's fair to say if you thought the podcast was stepping up this year, you were mistaken. It's a stepping back. Very much in the same vein as it's always been.

Next week, who knows what might happen? Will we have long hair? Will I be stood up? You'll have to wait and see on the next thrilling installment of The Wolf and Owl. See you then. Do it. Look, I just feel like you never respect me

When has ignorance ever been sexy? Said it's all about talking our feelings But if you would listen, I'll tell you what vexed me I don't feel like you know me for real Like only dating the size of my legs be When I talk to my girls, they be saying That we're meant to be close, we're meant to be besties They know me, you don't They try, but you won't If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.