Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 11: Tom In Ireland & Running On Empty

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

We’re talking… three day hangovers, Tom on tour in Ireland, whiskey shots in Guinness and a rowdy night at the pub, Romesh super-fans, apology pastries, running out of steam on a run, wearing shorts with leggings and several dodgy encounters on the street. Plus, an email question about who our celebrity Gogglebox partners would be. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yo. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Empire, now playing only in theaters. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear is a huff, a puff and a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song

is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog like that yeah yeah rubbish ringing Nathan and Big Tom T the top square

of the zoom coming in at I probably won't say his weight because we're both quite sensitive about stuff like that. It is Big Tom G. And in the bottom box of the Zoom, coming straight out of Crawley, it's Romesh Rekha.

Hello, anyway. How are you? You know what? I was really trying to keep up with that, but, Rom, I think I've got, like, what is now a third day of a pretty epic hangover yes well um let's get into this because uh i remember a few years ago um i was doing a series of warm-up shows for my previous tour actually uh the cynics mixtape and I asked a friend of mine to

come and support me, just to warm up for me and he turned up and that's Tom Davis by the way I'll sort of spoil it a little and you came in and you did, on three consecutive nights you delivered 20 minutes of what I thought was amazing stand-up

by that time you weren't really doing stand-up and I thought to myself this guy's got something he's one of the funniest people I've ever met right and so we talked about it and uh you said look man I'm thinking about getting back into stand-up if you're going on tour I said I think it's a really great idea you're supremely talented it'd be a shame not to do that and he said I know what it's about it's about like you've got to work at it you've got to get your stuff right you've got you gotta you know you gotta really put the grind in and I said yeah yeah that's what it's all about people think it's easy and you know blah blah and you worked and you toiled and you toiled and I remember you saying I'd love to go back to the motherland and like do some gigs

that would be a dream come true and uh you worked and you worked and you got this tour out there and I came to watch the show in Reading, and it is a great show. I thoroughly recommend everyone go see Underdog. It's one of my favourite stand-up shows I've seen. And, you know, to give full clarity, I'd say that even if I didn't mean it, but I do mean it in this instance. And then you had the opportunity to take that tour show to your roots, where your nan left 100 years ago

yeah and rather than treating it as a sort of a spiritual event it was just a fucking four day stag do wasn't it

I mean that's what happened it wasn't four days it was a couple yeah I mean look we got crazy with the situation your brother

is maybe Dinesh came out Dinesh very much treated it like a stag do I'll say that Dinesh came out. Dinesh very much treated it like a stag do. I'll say that Dinesh was exemplary. His stand-up was great. Dinesh is, he likes chatting to people, doesn't he, Dinesh?

Yeah, I would say that if anybody was- Dinesh is genuinely like somewhere between me and you. Yeah, he's the wow. He's got the same upbringing as me, so that brings his owlish tendencies in, except for the fact that he is like very gregarious, outgoing and likes chatting. Yeah.

What was it like? Sort of seeing one of your own. So it's bad with, so on Saturday, Saturday night, we were in Mayo and dinner, she got chatting to a guy at the bar and brought him over to our company. The man's name was ******, right?

Just a quick note, JT, please bleep that out because... No, he doesn't listen to podcasts. No, he doesn't listen to podcasts. Yeah, I mean, other people he might know might do. Can I say he firmly told me he hates podcasts? Sure, and that's even more reason to not name him because suddenly he's getting named or he's the opening convo in Tom's...

I assume you do bullet points of what you're going to talk about on the podcast. I don't prepare at all. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I've not done it. No, he... So he... My razor-sharp wit has gone.

So he joins us, right? I'd say that, you know, he's a nice enough chap. He was, you know, conversational, having a bit of bad luck. Insists on buying a round for us. Poor ****.

Because whenever we say something like this, open up with a nice thing, I know you're about to go in too far. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, but then he insists on buying a round, which is incredible, right? Yeah. Very nice of him.

He's just joined our company he goes around halfway through our pints of Guinness he turns around and says did anyone detect the submarine and we were like

what do you mean and he dropped shots of whiskey in all of our pints without telling us it was quite brutal

I'm not going to say that's brutal it's not brutal it's unacceptable, that. Yeah, I mean, yeah. What was he, Zach Galifianakis? What the fuck's going on? Yeah, well, it meant two of the people in our company

were quite pissed off with him. The two people who are me and Dinesh. Me and Dinesh sort of found it quite amusing. But then he started to, he got quite, he had a passive aggressiveness about him, let's say that. He, yeah, he became quite, he had a passive aggressiveness about him, let's say that. He became quite, shall we say, quite chippy with stuff. And certainly, and then shouted at your brother in the middle of the bar because your brother said the F word twice.

He shouted at him like a father shouted at his child, looking quite an angry man. He said, why don't you stop swearing? It's disgusting I'm no prude but you swear all the time really and like

yeah like it was pretty full on it like genuinely like was like like man don't spike people's drinks

with whiskey if you are worried about maybe someone's sweat it was insane it's a weird it's a weird place to draw the line

I'd say your brother's quite a gentle character he's a lovely black bit he's quite a gentle character. He's a lovely bloke, but he's quite a, like... Your brother was like, what's happened here? It was quite shocking, I'd say. I would say of the two crimes that you're looking at there, spiking a drink versus... Which one of those is the more disgusting?

I would say the oddest thing, one of the oddest things I've ever seen in my life is f***ing s*** as well. I chatted to Dinesh at a bar and then sent his family up to their room and said that he would come and... Because he was drinking with some friends he'd just made. So his wife and his kids went up to the room

and he spent the rest of the night pointing at any kids in the room saying, they should be in bed now, it's disgusting. Yeah, he was, yeah, there was an air to him. He was quite a good company. I found him quite amusing. He was a landscape gardener. So there's some sort of funny anecdotes about gardening.

I've got to be honest with you. I don't want to be harsh. But somebody that sort of spikes my drink and starts demanding that children are sent upstairs and packs his family off upstairs, I don't care what your level of chat is after that. You're out. Yeah, I mean, look, he was,

when I look back now, he was a bit of a piece of shit. I mean, he had some funny, he was dancing a lot. There was an Irish band playing songs. He sang along and he, yeah. I do wonder if it's like a, you know, sometimes I wonder about people's setups and stuff, right?

So, for example, if I was away, say if I was away with Lisa and the kids, right, and you're away as well or whatever, and there's a few friends of ours, and we sat down and had a few drinks and Lisa was a bit tired and she says, I'm going to bed with the kids. She absolutely wouldn't demand or even request that I go to bed.

Yeah, but Ron, they're friends. They're existing friends, right? That's what I'm saying. That's the point I'm making. If I was away with Lisa and the kids and I bumped into some people, just some random people, and then I said to Lisa, you take yourself upstairs with the boys. I've made myself.

I don't even know what her response would be. Catherine's... Catherine... Catherine, I'll take Grace up to bed. By the way, you'll need your own room because you're not fucking going back to ours. There's no way I'd even entertain it. He basically came over and he went,

right, let me just get everything started and then I'll be back to help and the funk can commence. and then he really started by the way he was i mean i'm actually not paying him now i've not really talked about this but now i'm sort of talking about it he's actually not probably i thought he was quite a fun character but then he started roasting martin the tour manager about martin's jumper it was quite harsh as well considering he never met him he was digging martin out quite a lot yeah Yeah. Do you understand why I think you should consider whether you name people? I've said his name now,

and JT, can you just beep it out every time, please? Yeah, yeah. So how did the night end? Well, in the end, I actually met two people who are Wolf and Owl fans who had come to my show. And after the shout and the dinnish and quite aggressive sort of turn to events

there was two lovely people there, I won't name them they'll know who I'm talking about and I yet again we stumble across Tom's bizarre rules he will name somebody who was an absolute shit show but two lovely people

I won't name them because what? because one of them actually had quite interested he had a very interesting job and i think he was like quite like actually i i he was very one of the coolest people i've ever met i don't want to name him because there's a part we think so he's actually an international spy he's very jones bond in his way he's like genuinely i will say this i was like wow this is he's just had a coolness about him you know like someone

when they chew the arm of their glasses like that and look at you and when you're talking you're like fucking hell that's cool I don't think that's cool actually because what's happening is

you're chewing the arm of your glasses that becomes moist you then put that behind your ear it collects whatever fucking debris is behind your ear

and then later on you'll chew the arm of the glasses again it's basically eating the back of your ear it collects whatever fucking debris is behind your ear and then later on you'll chew the arm of the glasses again it's basically eating the back of your ear gradually it's disgusting yeah but you vape

yeah but I don't keep the vape behind my ear mate I have seen you I don't store it up my arsehole okay but you put it

in your pocket and you've got like fucking you know you don't sanitise your hands all the time so you've got all like fucking

dead skin and stuff in your pocket why are you saying I don't sanitise my hands all the time so you've got all like fucking dead skin and stuff in your pocket why are you saying I don't sanitise my hands all the time first of all second of all I have a specific

vape pocket in which nothing else is stored in all of your different coats correct because you're mate you're like

Mr. Bedman with all your coats so so what you genuinely have you have a vape pocket in everything correct have you had it sewn in like a vape pocket and everything correct

have you had it sewn in like a vape pocket no you don't mate he might be he might clean his ears every day behind his ears every day

yeah but by the way listen can I be absolutely honest I don't really have a problem with it I was just trying to be facetious he was very cool his wife was an absolute saint

they were a joy and then yeah and then there was like a family who were there and they were just singing in the bar it was actually kind of cool and then yeah and then there was like a family who were there and they were just singing in the bar

it was actually kind of cool and then you know bleep his name out he yeah he went off to bed I mean

he he basically sort of I left after the shout at Dinesh and then Martin left and then

Dinesh Dinesh was actually weird he stuck it out Dinesh I do not believe that for a second he did Dinesh was the weirdly he stuck it out Dinesh I do not believe that for a second he did Dinesh was the last one

to leave the table are you joking yeah there was Big Boz Big Boz stayed there for a bit and then yeah

Dinesh was the final one to come over Dinesh he felt kind of bad because the guy his family had gone up to bed and he was on his own

yeah and he'd also he'd also spiked Dinesh's drink and shouted at him so the least he could do was stay up with him by the way

can I say at that Mayo gig one of the this is amazing we're backstage me and Dinesh by the way I don't know if you've heard

like I was playing I've got into playing after the Super Bowl I got kind of into NFL so I'm playing Madden 223 well I saw I saw Dinesh by the way I don't know if you've heard I was playing I've got into playing after the Super Bowl I got kind of into NFL so I'm playing Madden 2-23 I saw Dinesh Dinesh has got

a similar problem that you have of putting together these fucking bizarre Instagram stories of like summarising what's happened it's one thing

to do that if it's a series of interesting things watching you pose for a photo that was one of the clips another clip was you backstage fucking playing NFL

or whatever the hell you were doing. I mean, it's... I think he's actually got me doing my, redoing my shoelaces and my trainers. Yeah. Well, that was one of the highlights, actually. So, basically, I was on like a six-game losing streak

with the Green Bay Packers, which wasn't good. It was looking like I potentially... losing streak yeah with the Green Bay Packers which wasn't good was looking like I potentially anyway I then win this incredible touchdown in the last

bits of the game then anyway the woman who runs the venue comes in starts chatting away we're in a bit of a chat and then she leans in to me and she says

I've got a question for you about Ramesh and I was like okay is he really as coolamesh. And I was like, okay. Is he really as cool as he seems? And I was like, no, he's actually cooler. And do you want your mind blown? And she went, what?

I went, that's his brother. And she lost her shit. Are you serious? She said, mate, I will tell you now, like this woman was like, like obsessed. She was like, he's an amazing person i love him so much we all love him out here you've got to send him that love back which i thought was really nice it's very sweet it's very it's a very uncynical thing to say that isn't that um and you know what

there was honesty in her eyes and every time your name was mentioned in that green room after that I could see her smiling like it's really lovely I don't know how much of this to believe to be honest with you because you've got people listening won't be able to see this

but you've got one of those little shit eating grins on no I've got a big smile on my face because I'm thinking about her smiling it's just as likely

that woman came in and fucking went into a 20 minute rant about what a piece of shit I was no mate mate mate I'm going to tell you. It's just as likely that woman came in and fucking went into a 20-minute rant about what a piece of shit I was. No, mate, mate, mate. I'm going to tell you now. If you ever meet this woman, I reckon genuinely she'd put that...

Like, it's a very religious place, that very Catholic area. But I reckon for her, you turning up there would be like the second coming. That's very sweet. Thank you very much if you listen to the podcast.

Yeah, weirdly, he doesn't listen to the podcast. He didn't know we were as close of friends as we are. Okay. Well, that makes sense. Almost family now because obviously, yeah. Yeah. How was it? How were the gigs?

Oh, man. Joyous. Very joyous. They were lovely. Yeah. They were a lot of fun. I'd say the last one was pretty, man, you know, Sunday gigs, Sunday night gigs are fucking hard,

aren't they? Sunday gigs are tough, but they are very tough. The audience don't know that, though, that's what you've got to remember. No, no,

no, but they are like, they just feel, like, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, they felt really pumped.

It was a nice, lovely audience, very friendly, really nice, but it's just, it's just a different vibe. On a Sunday, it's like,

and also, the venue had table like they did that thing you know when they put tables in to make it a bit more cabaret seating yeah for that

man yeah and I was just like that kind I don't know I I find it quite difficult playing to that you should have

asked for a radio mic and come around the tables do you know what I mean just sort of done a bit of crowd work what's going on over here then well weirdly because of the way it was set out a lot I mean just sort of done a bit of crowd work hey what's going on over here then

well weirdly because of the way it was set out a lot of people did sort of there was quite a lot of a lot of people

would start conversations in the gigs yeah in their gig I don't know if you find that Cabaret seating sort of second half

after everyone's a little bit more oiled there was a little bit of like you know chat I would say as well you know

we were coming down after having like these sort of turdy submarine drinks which were

pretty fucking full on but you had a good time it was great man shout out Ireland it was an absolute I want to go longer

you're going soon by the way I won't name them but the driver looking after us what a gentleman what an absolute gentleman

he's a legend you know him he's very very fond of you. I don't know. I don't know. Your name. I'll tell you what, man.

In Ireland, I reckon, I reckon everyone I talk to about you loves you. Okay. And I always drop your name just to sort of like let people know that I roll deep and I roll hard. Yeah, you don't say those words afterwards, do you? No, no. I wear quite a lot.

I wore quite a lot of the merch out there, which is weird if you don't know that we've got a podcast together because I've got quite a few sort of Romesh T-shirts. I think what's quite good about Wolf and Owl, like you've got the cap on now, that sounds like some swanky label. If you don't know the podcast. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a bit of a disaster while you were out drinking. Well, it wasn't while you were out drinking, actually. So I just did a run of a I had a bit of a disaster while you were out drinking I had well it wasn't while you were out drinking actually so I just did a run of 12 shows which were all yeah back to back yeah which were all very good fun it's great man

I loved it I'm properly in the touring groove wow you were really like yeah I could hear that in your voice when I spoke to you on the phone

you were in the car you were prattling about. That's my favourite run, by the way, prattling. You know, like when you're on the phone, I've seen you do this and I was doing that. You know when you're showing off? You're just sort of in a good mood. So you're going, so I got old Tom on the phone.

He's saying that he's going to do the show tonight, Gratz. You were like a kid who just found out that if you hit a tambourine, the little bells whistle as well. You had that sort of vibe to you. It's really cute, actually. Yeah. I've also got a... Actually, I forgot to give a shout out to Jim,

the guy that drives me, but he's a friend of yours. He came to pick me up the other day to take me to a job. And he bought me two apology pastries, heart-shaped pastries. He'd heard the podcast and very worried that I'd been... I mean, he was taking the piss, actually, I think.

But I still got two pastries out of it. But were you... Did you apologise about your lack of, you know, walking? Because I saw that you were in Southend. I said, oh, did you, Romesh, go for a walk down the front? He said no. Well, I had to go and do... I was getting dropped off to do a tour show.

I wasn't getting dropped off for, like, a day round Portsmouth, whatever the fuck it is you were doing. I had to go in and soundcheck for my tour show. Yeah, but then did you have no time to sort of hang out and do something nice together? No. I mean, we got there at like 6.30. Show starts at 8.

You get there at 6.30? Yeah. Fuck, man. Jeez. What time do you get there? I'm usually at half five. Half five? I thought you were going to take the piss out of me

for getting there early. No, no, no. I get there early so I can get a feel of the place what do you do just like fucking smell it out

give me an insight to how many takes of those fucking walk around videos you're doing before they make it to the internet my lads

here I am just so they know doing a show tonight going to be crazy. All you good and lovely kid and kiff, look forward to seeing you there. I'm Bosch. Don't say Bosch at the end. I can't do that anymore.

That's been taken. Anyway. Do you ever chat to Big... Oh, sorry. I was going to digress a little bit. Big John. I love Big John Bosch. No, no.

Don't chat to him oh mate he's a real I really like the Fisher family I really really like them yeah I know you're a big fan yeah because I think you shared a thing as well I just adore them

I just think they're so positive in their way they're just really good heartfelt positive people and I think there's something about that I really adore yeah

yeah it's nice really sweet oh I thought that was going to be it. That's the end of that. No, no,

no, no. Oh, right. No, no, sometimes you just like to say something nice. Yeah,

sometimes you just got to give credit where credit's due. I totally agree with you. Totally agree with you. You know what? I'd love to meet you and him to go out for some food together. That'd be amazing. I know how that would go. What would it be?

Because I've seen his videos. We'll go to some, like, take, like some Chinese or something like that and he'll be like sweet and sour balls

bah gonna get some dinner there bah and then you'll be going huh huh have you heard about Rob he can only really have

like the seaweed and that because he's vegan are you fucking joking he'll do bah bah bah bah bah bah I'll just have to fucking deal with a roast that'll be what

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get a thousand dollar bonus for details visit your local ford store or ford.ca i i went to uh i did it switch friday saturday beautiful by the way it's right great crowd great yeah two great nights i had a lot of fun thank you ips switch uh on the saturday i decided to go for a a long run right whoa so so i i had had a couple of drinks with i'm going to call them the company because that's what you seem to be calling your group so i did a couple of drinks don't fucking do that the car i've not called us up we're a fucking firm Tom Tom

when you listen back to this podcast okay and when you listen to the story of of joining you I want you to count

the number of times you said company because I reckon rough estimate five I wasn't saying that was our I mean I'd like to

fucking take the credit that was our gang name but it's not we're just known as the guys. Well, that's not what you refer to yourself as. You came and joined the company. Then they just brought him over to the company. That's what you're saying.

It's amazing that you've suddenly 180'd on this. I'm now thinking about getting underdog t-shirts with the company written on the back. That's a good idea. That's a good idea. It's quite cool, isn't it?

It's a great... It's very cool. Very, very cool. Yeah, but then we... Because what we call is... We definitely sell better than Party Rom. I can tell you that's enough. back it's a good idea it's a good idea it's quite cool isn't it it's a great it's very cool very very cool because what would be cool is definitely

sell better than party rom I can tell you that's enough I was

wearing it by the way can I say the party rom t-shirt is so fucking cool it's really got a nice high neck

nice feel to it yeah I've seen this at Gregg's when they try and pump up the chicken and lamb curry pasties because

they're not flying off the old shells mate I wore it the other day I had a few people sort of like yeah and people didn't the chicken and lamb curry pasties because they're not flying off the old shelves. Mate, I wore it the other day. I had a few people sort of like, yeah. And people didn't know, but again, there's no war for now. Fuck it.

People just thought it was a Romesh T-shirt. Anyhow, go ahead. Go ahead. I've digressed. So I decided, so I had a couple of drinks the night before. The next morning, I didn't really eat anything.

And then, what did I have? I had something little. Anyway, this is all giving context to the story. So I decided I was going to run 20K, right? So I leave the hotel, start jogging. 10K, no problem. Having a great time, right? Listening to a podcast, just enjoying life.

What podcast were you listening to? I was actually listening to Alan Partridge from The Oast House. Oh, yeah, okay. There's one bit, actually. It's very rarely this happens to me. I was on the jogs, just started laughing at it, like cracking up. Wow. It was very funny.

Anyway, so... You should have filmed that. It would have been good content. It would have been, yeah. Sadly, that will be left undocumented. On a couple of occasions, I got kind of tooted out, which was a bit embarrassing. But anyway, I hadn't eaten anything, and that proved to be my demise,

because at 14 and a half, 15 kilometres, my legs just went, we're not doing any more running. I just ran out of juice. So, hold on, you're 14 kilometres away from base camp? Yeah, about 14 and a half, 15 kilometres away, right? So I stop and I think, this has never happened to me before, I'm normally stopped by just being knackered. So, like, breathing-wise, I feel like I could keep going,

do you know what I mean? But every time I start running, my legs are just giving out. So I think I'm going to walk for a little bit I believe this is called the wall and what I should have done was continued through it but I didn't do that I'm not a runner but you got smashed through the wall yeah so I didn't do that

it was the first time I'd encountered a mental obstacle of this sort on a run do you ever watch that fellow what's his name? Goggins. David Goggins. Yeah, I did think of Goggins when I was doing it.

Because what he would say to you, doesn't he say, it's the wall. Fucking smash the wall, man. Smash the wall. Yeah. Well, I would say it raised some concerns in me in regards to my mental...

You know when people talk about sports people just really pushing through? Yeah, yeah. I really am the opposite of that as soon as I encounter the slightest bit of resistance knock it on the head

anyway yeah I'm not going to have that because you're running fucking 14, 15k yeah that's incredible to see where you've come from

yeah you weren't getting anywhere near that kind of fucking like kilometre I was going to say mileage but you weren't able to fucking run, what,

that's 12 miles? Yeah, yeah, no, you're right, you're right. That's fucking insane. So,

but anyway. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

I want you to take your left hand now, put it over your right shoulder, and just give yourself a pat on the back, because bro, you fucking deserve that one, man. That's fucking sick. Thanks,

Let's not, let, let, let not us be judged by the mountains that we climb but the hills that we climb every day okay all right well good start to that uh but then i uh i tried to well then i looked on my phone which was rapidly running out of battery i wasn't i was sort of very much on the outskirts of ipswich i looked it said an hour and a half to walk home, back to the hotel.

So I was like, okay. So I carried on walking for a little bit and then I was like, I intended to be out for like two hours and now it's looking like three and a half, four, which is not ideal. Yeah, it's a big part of the day. So I tried to book an Uber,

which is embarrassing, wasn't it? Tried to book an Uber and I just thought I'm't it tried to book an uber and i just thought i'm gonna have to explain why i'm in full running gear when this guy picks me up yeah anyway the uber did this weird thing where the i don't know if it's like the driver's being noticed so it said found a driver but then that guy was taking ages to confirm or whatever so yeah i hate that that's why i never use uber so it just it just sat in like a stasis for ages. So I cancelled that. And I walked.

I contemplated going into Greg's, but I didn't have my wallet with me. I suppose I could have used my phone, but then I got nervous. I don't know what I got nervous about. I got nervous about going into Greg's. So then I just walked. Can I just say,

shout out to Greg's, because that is one place you could go in. Say to them, look, guys, I came out here intentionally to do two that is one place you could go in say to them look guys I came out here intentionally during two hours after some 40k

smashed that I've got to walk home I guarantee someone there would have gone hey fucking jump in I've got you out the side we'll fucking

drink you back yeah I'm sure they would have done even if you'd had to get in the back of a pickup truck right but

what I'm saying man is Greg's is a fucking, it's a bit like the bar of cheers. Everyone there would be like, you'd be celebrated. I'll guarantee you they've got some fucking yum-yums brought for you. Yeah, no, honestly, I am fully behind commending places on a hypothetical situation that hasn't happened, and that never would happen.

But yeah, cool, big up, Gre gregs for tom imagining that you would put me in a truck and give me some yum yums and take me back to the hotel yeah shout out gregs fucking hell anyway so i start walking back to the hotel and i i've got to be honest with you by the time i get to the end of this walk i'm feeling very sorry for myself i feel like i lost up in a right little situation but so i so I get to... Any friction burn? No friction burn, no. But I get to... Can I, sorry, I know I'm interjecting quite a lot. Are you wearing like those cycling shorts under your shorts?

Can I just say, because I went to see Lisa McGrillis in her play last night. And I didn't tell her this story, but I told her that I'd started going running. And she asked me what I'd been wearing. Anyway, I thought this was all right to wear running, and I think I've mentioned it to you before, but she told me it's one of the biggest icks that could ever be icked. Right. And that is a pair of shorts over a pair of sort of leggings.

Yeah, yeah. Now, the reason you've got reluctant there is because I can tell what's happened is you want to go in two-footed on me but you know where you know you know that you wear that as well don't you avoid it before you but I don't go running up my knees right I've made I'd love to I love nothing more to have a story about me busting that 40k run I can't man I can't run my knees are I'm a walker now. That's what I have to do. But there's nothing wrong with walking. Walking's great.

It's a great, it's good. It's really good. So, listen, look, are you walking regularly? Yeah, me and Dennis, we're going to go. Yeah, all right. I'm going to take that left hand of yours and reach over your right shoulder, give yourself a pat.

There you go. Well done, my guy. Anyway, I get back to the hotel and honestly, when I see the signs for the hotel, it's like I'm acting like I've crossed a desert to get there. This is my first civilization. You've crossed a desert in your mind. Sure.

Oh, mate, I'll tell you the other thing that happened. As I'm walking up to maybe five minutes from the hotel, so I'm starting to get a bit buzzy now. Do you know what I mean? The end is in sight. This fucking two guys come running past me right like sprinting and this geese just behind him going i'm gonna fucking rip your head off you fucking wanker like i i honestly man like i actually started to feel panic i didn't you know one of these things where you sort of think do i need to intervene here basically this guy was chasing this guy

to beat the shit out of him and they sort of went past me what time is this mate this is like midday but like yeah I've got a story

actually a wild thing that I'd this is a this is a midday did you need the time to remind you of the story yeah well no

just what you're saying so yeah but the guy so finish your story then I'll do mine well that's pretty much the end of the story. Yeah, well, no, it's just what you're saying. Yeah. So finish your story and then I'll do mine. Well, that's pretty much it. Thankfully,

I started to think maybe I need to get involved here. But then the guy that was saying he was going to rip his head off thankfully ran out of steam. So he just sort of dropped out and walked off

in the other direction. Yeah, but that could also be a bad thing because the guy who was getting chased could have done something heinous that's true oh god

maybe I should have got involved yeah but then you've just fucking bagged out 40k of a run and then what 40k of a

walk yeah but you can't not get involved I mean can I be honest I made a judgement call

the geezer chasing looked a lot rougher than the geezer that was running away but you know that's a it's a damning endowment of society

you shouldn't judge people on appearances don't judge a book by its cover yeah so I'm ashamed I say get involved I don't know

that guy getting chased could have slept with the other guy's wife exactly right yeah you're right you're right but I still don't

even if he had done that, I still would have had, I mean, it's worth getting involved to stop that guy doing anything because, you know. If you look at it, right, if you look at it and you saw Tom Hardy chasing Kevin Spacey, you probably think Kevin Spacey looks a nicer guy. Yeah, sure.

I still don't think Tom Hardy should be kicking the shit out of Kevin Spacey, though, to be honest. No, I don't think he should be kicking the shit out of Kevin Spacey though no I don't think he should be kicking the shit but I'm saying if you make it the judgment corner on appearance

you go oh shit Tom Hardy to be fair to me we go much deeper into it than we need to the guy was getting chased

I saw it I thought shit what's going to happen and then the guy stopped chasing him and then walked away now suddenly apparently I'm fucking

an advocate of Kevin Spacey's sexual misdemeanors I don't know who made that walk i'm just saying it's a longer walk than i had to do back from the running it switch this anyway so after that where i'd ignored a crime or whatever and i need to think about that later on, I guess. Speaking of later on, anyways, we'll talk about that in a minute. I got back to the hotel, mate. I went back to the hotel so delighted that I'd got back,

as if I'd been gone missing for a while. I then ordered a foot-long Subway, three double chocolate cookies, a Coke Zero, and I fucking inhaled them. It was disgusting. Mate, that's... When you run right,

you can pretty much eat what you want. You're supposed to, like, refuel. I mean, I needed to refuel. Listen to this like I'm an athlete. I needed to eat something. You've done 28K. You really are bigging up the accomplishment there. No, no, you did 14K there,

and then you did 14K back there. No, but I was going in a loop, so I only had like 6 or 7K to come back. Oh, okay, okay. But I... Well, still, it's 20K. Fuck it, mate. Yeah.

You've got to take credit where it's due. Yeah, no, thank you. Thanks for the credit. But I do think you are... I had not eaten anything that morning, so it's probably a good idea to eat something. Just quickly on the... Go on, idea to eat something but what's the mistake go on

I said the mistake, I might say something really boring which is the mistake people make is thinking that forever allows you to eat what you want which it doesn't and it's a mistake that a lot of people make there's refueling and then there's overfueling so just be careful So just be careful.

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I told you HomeSense has good gift options. Hmm, well, I don't know. Mom's going to love it. She'll take one sniff and be transported to that anniversary trip you took to San Tropez a few years ago. Forget it. She complained about her sunburn the whole trip. It's only $14. $14? Now that's a vacation I can get behind. Deal so good, everyone approves.

Only at HomeSense. Hey, I just got us a new coca-cola spice nice what's it taste like it's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee well let me try nah it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah. It's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Yeah, so talking about that, so me and your brother were in Belfast. Get up on on what was it

what's it been Sunday morning and we're like let's go for a little walk before breakfast so I tried to do like a four or five mile walk and

we basically sort of just start walking just chatting away we end up walking into what sort of now was a bit of city it's quite a rough area

yeah as we're strolling down the street these two guys come walking towards us who look like they probably just sort of getting off a bit of a session right as we're walking towards them i can see them caught me in dennish and they start talking and their talk is quite you know they're screwing us a bit and as they come towards me dennish one of them raises up his shirt to show us that he's got something in his belt right um which you know glim didn't know sort of like morning sun but i couldn't really see what it was exactly

uh and he went you're a big fella you're a dad you're a big fella and i was like yeah you know we're good we're right and then they just stood there for a second staring at us and me and dinner sort of were like yep good and sort of walked on and sort of like ruined the last mile of the walk because we were absolutely piping our pants that we were about to get fucking ironed out by. Either they were going to follow us back to the hotel and set about us there or they were running back to get some mates

to say that we're on their turf. It was quite a fucking terrifying moment. You know, like, and then showing what the level of pussies me and Dinesh are that sort of took the rest of the day with us sort of

hypothesising about what could have happened and then when we told the guy who drives us out there he said where were you and we told him

we sort of explained to him where we were and he was like nah you should not have fucking been working around there at any time

and I was like well it's like it was like 8am or 9am in the morning. He was like, at any fucking time you can go there. It was like, oh, okay. Have I told you the story about, you know, when I was like, when I was growing up, I don't know if I've told this story,

that's why I got hesitant. I once like, I was about 15, 16, right? And there was a mate of mine. This is like on the estate. There's a mate of mine that had like some beef with some guy right so he said to me do you ever have this where your mate's asked you to go back him up in some situation oh my god yeah yeah yeah so so my mate goes to me there's this guy that's like i can't remember what happened he had some it doesn't matter what the story is but anyway he just said i need to go around his house and this guy's like i've got a real problem with this guy

and he's giving me some shit so we're walking through like walking through we see the guy and then my mate starts like going off at him right like starts having a go at him and he starts giving it some back and then my mate fucking pulls his shirt up i didn't know this at the time like you know i've always been like this right which is like not really wanting any trouble, right? So my mate pulls up his shirt and he's got some sort of tool, like a bar or something in his trousers. Pulls it out, starts going at this guy.

The guy starts running away. My mate starts chasing him. I'm just like, what the fuck? This has got way out of hand. And the guy's going, come on, come on. He's sort of shouting but running away, like follow me, follow me or whatever. Don't think anything of it. what the fuck this is like got way out of hand and the guy's going come on come on like he's sort of shouting but running away like follow me follow me or whatever don't think anything of the guy runs off and my mate's going me thanks a lot for doing that it's very kind of you and i

just think it's just the two of you it's just the two of us yeah just go fucking hell anyway five minutes later we're walking down the road a car pulls up four guys get out with this guy right they're all carrying golf clubs right so they come over to us with golf clubs i look we're trapped right and they're just going fucking come on come running over to us and i'm like okay i'm about to get the shit kicked at me with golf club like you know there's no way out of this right this is mental so like the guy runs up one of the guys runs up and he comes to swing for me and i'm just like i'm bracing myself to get fucking covered by a golf club now yeah raises his thing and then he just goes romesh and i go yeah he goes fucking romesh it's like it starts

like and i knew him right like i just happened to know him turns to the guy and he goes oh mate he's a he's a good bloke i can't i'm not i'm not gonna beat him up like that like we can't and then it all just fucking diffused from that and i'm just like do you know what's beautiful right is that you and how what a lovely man you are and what a good spirited person you are is basically saves your mate from getting a kick in that's why the penny is my in the sword mate i genuinely i i you know when people say you just have this moment where you just close your eyes and accept your fate that is what happened to me that is the closest i've come to like i'm just gonna get the fucking shit kicked out of me here let's just deal with it do you know what i mean it was so horrible man i mean the relief i felt

was insane i was saying to dinner dennis was like because I was quite shaken by the whole thing and Dennis was actually very and he was so white because I was like I've been in this situation walked about

fucking 10 minutes away thinking it's all over and then got attacked from behind on a number of occasions like those

you know those sorts of things have happened I mean listen I've told a happy story there but I mean I could equally tell four or five stories where they didn't recognise me. And it wasn't sort of lost on me

that we're in quite a sort of rough area. And, you know, being a guy of six foot seven and an Asian guy was probably not what, it felt like maybe this might be a bit of a badge of honour for a certain sort of like group of people who were staring at us at that point. So yeah, it all felt quite aggressive. Yeah.

That was the only time in Ireland that, you know, and to be fair, actually, he might have just been shown his knife just because he was excited to show someone and, you know, he didn't think he was being aggressive. Yeah, maybe he was into crafts. Yeah. And actually...

I thought like is it wickering no it's whittling whittling yeah whittling some bark or some shit yeah you had a good

you had a good time in Ireland despite your drink being spiked and somebody showing you a shank but apart from that great times yeah

yeah it was good to be fair spiking a drink I actually quite enjoyed but yeah I wouldn't recommend it. How did you turn up the thing on your Mac where it's like I've just got John Handler's birthday. I don't even know who John Handler is.

Yeah, what are you asking? Why you've got John Handler's birthday? Why is it coming up? He's probably sure i've met somewhere on facebook and now yeah well that's what happens when you just add people randomly i mean and tell everyone you meet they're the coolest person you've ever met in your life hey hey that was someone talking about you brother no well i think you mentioned today you met james bond didn't you yeah he was called james no no but like through people who we can find out on this episode are absolutely epically cool

you are fucking dominating my son thanks mate that's really kind of you yeah okay should we do one email Tom

and then wrap up let's do an email we should probably do an email special actually this week well we are going to have to do an email special because I've just looked

at the emails that the delightful Swan has selected and they're all film ideas so we're going to have to do an email special because I've just looked at the emails that the delightful Swan has selected. And they're all film ideas. So we're going to have to do a film special. Oh, by the way, someone sent me a trailer of... They've made an animated trailer.

Yeah, I've seen that as well. I don't know how we... Should we put it up? The person that sent that, are we allowed to put it on our Instagram? Because it's pretty mad. It's pretty epic. It's pretty cool

okay go for an email this is from the gangly geranook what the hell is that I don't know

what that is dear wolf owl swan no dear wolf owl cat majestic swan collective brood thank you for the

podcast I end up listening to so many others while I wait for the next wolf and owl to drop

but they are the filler to your killer oh that's lovely the idea that there's something that's owl to drop, but they are the filler to your killer. Oh, that's lovely. The idea that there's something that's filler to this, which I believe is pure filler.

Hearing you talk about your sleepover idea, I became obsessed with the idea that you should do celebrity goggle box together. You have to do it at the wolf's house so the owl finally gets to visit. The only obstacle might be the owl is on most shows, so they might struggle to find something for you to watch. Winky face emoji. Oh, wow, wow wow my question is if you could

my question is if you could do Gogglebox with any celebrity other than your BFF who would you choose look I want to be honest with you

I think and this is I'm going to be completely honest I think I'd only ever do it if I could do it with you if I'm honest

that would probably be the only person if not you probably Thierry Henry okay I would only ever do it if I could do it with you. If I'm honest. That would probably be the only person. If not you, probably Thierry Henry. Okay. I would rather you did it with Thierry Henry than me, to be honest with you. I mean, that's much better. Yeah. It's loads better.

Are you joking? You'd have a better experience. It would get more viewers. You and Thierry are actually quite alike in a lot of ways, actually, as people. In terms of what? Just sort of electric pace? Being seen as legends of the game? No, actually, as you are. I think you're both quite deep guys.

You're very caring people. You're nice people. You've got a really good heart. I'm going to say this now. The ongoing situation where I haven't met Thierry Henry is starting to upset me, to be honest with you. And listen, nobody has a God-given right to meet anybody, so I'm not saying it's my right to me to be honest with you and listen nobody has a God given right to meet anybody so I'm not saying

it's my right to meet Thierry Henry I just I used to wear a t-shirt with all the I used to wear it out a t-shirt with his head on it and it just says

Je t'aime Henri I mean that's how much I will say he's one of the nicest people I've ever chatted to alright alright he's such a good guy I know you've's one of the nicest people I've ever chatted to. Okay, all right. He's such a good guy.

I know you've become sort of buddies. Well, yeah. Have you ever mentioned me to him? Yeah, sort of in passing, yeah. I sort of say, oh, yeah, there's this guy actually quite funny called Romesh. I do a podcast with him. Yeah. He said, oh, you know, you like podcasts.

I was like, yeah, I do want to. I've actually got a video that he made for, we made together for my tour, but I've not put it out yet because I sort of worry that it's, like, you know, when to put it out. He's a cool guy. I like him a lot. Okay. But it's the same thing.

You've met loads of people I really think are cool. You've met so many cool people. Like who? Who's the man that you really want to meet? Who? Prince William. I'll actually shout out someone else by the way Dermot Kennedy came to

the show of Dublin and was lovely what a guy his new song is insane bruv yeah it's insane

I find musical talent I find it so difficult to I think musical talent and footballers I just feel like I can't even fathom what it's like to be that talented

he's incredibly great company as well, what a good guy but yeah I think you'd like to hear me if you get to meet him we should try and organise it yeah it could be a surprise thing where you come out and surprise him

what I don't think I think in that scenario he comes out and surprises me why Thierry Henry oh here's somebody

you've got no fucking idea who it is surprise no I don't think that's the way yeah but you know like you do that quite gregarious thing

sometimes like if I'm sitting there like me and him are sitting there having a coffee or like an espresso or Like, if I'm sitting there, like, me and him are sitting there having a coffee or, like, an espresso or whatever and chatting, and I'll go, oh, you're joking me. Fucking hell, I told him I was here. He's only turned up.

And then you come walking over and go, hello, guys. Yeah, are you all right? And I'm like, oh, this is my really dear friend, Thierry. Thierry, this is my other really good friend, Romesh. He's like, hello, Romesh. And you're like, like oh can I sit down have one of those nice coffees you've got I'm like of course you can

Thierry's like oh is he going to stay I'm like yeah I've organised this as a treat for everyone here's my issues with that little hypothetical first of all if you were meeting up Thierry and Rui the idea that I would even be given a sniff of what the location is is a fantasy right that's the first thing the second thing is

the idea that i'd be gregarious in that situation what i would go as far as your t-shirt you could wear your t-shirt i would go as far as to say that if i happen to be in a cafe that you and thierry on route well just by coincidence just imagine I probably wouldn't approach you I'd probably just mate I don't know hey Rob Rob mate Robbie

that's the other thing the idea that you would go sit down and join us that's the other fantasy in this fantasy mate I would come on what we're going to

just go on see you in a bit I'll tell you what would happen I'd come over and I'd go hi Tom oh my god

you're sat with Thierry Henry one of my heroes and we'd go sorry sorry mate you alright but Tom and I go, hi Tom, oh my God, you're sat in a chair with me, one of my heroes. And we go, sorry, sorry mate, you alright? But Tom,

Tom, it's me. And we go, it's me, Jonathan. Yeah, we did, we did House of Fools together,

didn't we? And Judge Romesh, you're forgetting about Judge Romesh, not to mention the fact we regularly do a punk. Oh yeah, I do do that little thing Cherry sorry mate

this is it's Romesh isn't it yeah this is Romesh this is Cherry I think you both know that the affection I have for you I would literally

pick you up and I'd turn around and say Cherry this guy is your biggest fucking fan he used to go to nightclubs with a picture of you

on his t-shirt he'd go oh man this is a cool guy I love it when I I love nothing more than being a bridge between two amazing people do you know

what's so funny is like I know you said it was a joke but I did used to go to nightclubs with that t-shirt on and like of course you did often people wouldn't

know what it was and so like somebody goes to me what is that what is that t-shirt that's a cool t-shirt and I go oh it's my it's that what is that t-shirt that's a cool t-shirt and I go oh it's my it's my favourite player

for Arsenal and then that's when the light would go from their eyes and they'd realise that they were talking to somebody

that they didn't want to talk to do you know what I mean right so I think I'm doing I'm doing Gogglebox with Thierry Henry

yeah who are you doing it with it's a great question um you know it would be quite fun to see you and Ronnie O'Sullivan doing it together.

I don't want to, I'll never do anything with Ronnie O'Sullivan. He was very harsh about the K2 Leisure Centre in Crawley.

And unfortunately, you know, as great a player as I think he is and as funny as he's nice, the guy, you know,

he really went into it. He goes for anxiety and stuff. And yeah, he's actually quite, he's got a guy you know he's he really went in he goes for anxiety and stuff and yeah he's actually quite he's got a very sweet soul to him as well

yeah well so do the people that work so do the people that work at K2 Leisure Centre go on I do it to you on Ray because that's quite

a fun dynamic you and Gary Neville that'll be funny that'll be cool like you and Gav oh you know what I love Line of Duty don't you Gav oh yeah Rob

it's great yeah okay I think I'll probably only do it with you the thing about the celebrity goggle box the

the Gaggenuck or whatever it is, this creature it's written in, thank you for your email, is that they never do it at anyone's house for real, do they? No, no, no. So you still wouldn't see Tom's house. They're pretending it's there.

When they did the celebrity ones, it's a set, isn't it? Is it a set or is it someone's house they've hired? It's their hire at Airbnb, I think, I've put them up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Tom wouldn't agree to it. I think we haven't it is it a set or is it someone's house they've hired it's their hire at Airbnb I think yeah so Tom

it is weird that neither of us have been asked and I look at nearly everyone of our contemporaries

have been asked and have done it yeah I don't think I would do it to be honest but if you want to do it

together we can do well I'll see if Thierry wants to do it if not I'm not convinced I could be that interesting about watching TV

do you know what I mean but you'd be great having said that oh you know what you know what we can fuck it well it's me and Thierry

doing it and then we pretend that you're coming around to my house to drop off something like your Xbox or something because I've won it in a bet

so you like ring on the doorbell and it's like oh fucking hell we're halfway through Traitors and Thierry's like you oh, fucking hell, we're halfway through. Traitors. And Thierry's like, oh, you better get that.

They've had an unexpected visitor. And then Ivan goes, hello, Tom. Rommish Ranganathan's at the door. I've got that PlayStation 5 that you brought on Facebook Marketplace. And then you come in with it. And then Thierry's like, hello, bonjour, hello.

Are you okay? And you're like, oh, yeah, what are you watching here then? And you could have your Thierry T-shirt on and a pair of joggers. Yeah. And then it cuts away to some other celeb couples. Then it comes back, Ramesh still hasn't left.

And then it cuts to us. I'm sort of talking, you two are in silence, just, like, grumpy, like a couple that have been cock-blocked. I'm really furious that I'm there. like a couple that have been cock-blocked. Utterly furious that I'm there. Right, Tom, do you want to do some... Let's sum it up, yeah. It's been an all right office episode, hasn't it?

I've enjoyed it, man. I've enjoyed it. It's been like relinquishing an old beast. A real insult to the office to mention that word. Here we go. Yo, journeys, travels, new horizons, old friends, new friends, new places, all places. Truth about the world is it's smaller than we think,

but it can be massive at times. It can be intimidating. So what I want you to do today is think about somewhere you want to go. And I'm not talking about a different country, nay, and even a different county, nay, even a different territory. I'm talking about going to a park that you've never been before, or a cafe to get your cappuccino

that you've never been before. I'm talking about building those horizons and moments and just saying, yeah, I did something new today, and it felt good. It made me feel alive. Sometimes that can be a run for 40 kilometers, and then thinking, I've got the minerals to go on, but walking and knowing that you completed something massive. Every day is about horizons. Every day is about challenges. Never back down from a challenge, no matter how small. For example, yesterday I had a turmeric tea for the first time. Was I nervous? Yes. Did I enjoy it even more than the nerves i broke new foundations i broke new horizons and you know what tumit tea thank you for making me feel alive that's really nice really really nice well done how was it actually it was really enjoyable actually i mean i've been really fucking putting it off but actually really enjoying it man and you know what's even more

exciting this is probably why I start feeling a bit dizzy I'm seeing you in person today oh it's I cannot wait I cannot wait I'm all

as soon as we get off this I'm not meeting you for about six seven hours but I'm still going to start getting ready as soon as I jump off this I need to get make myself look great

for my guy mate you always look good so bro thanks yeah I shall see you I shall be you and I should hold you I'll jump off this. I need to make myself look great for my guy. Mate, you always look good. So, bro. Thanks. Yeah. I shall see you. I shall be you. And I should hold you.

Tom, have you heard the new Beyonce song? No, I haven't. But you about to drop it? We're about to drop it. It's country and western, Tom. It's Beyonce like you've never heard her before. It's called Texas Hold'em. It's an absolute banger.

And I think it's a perfect combination. Tom Davis loves Beyonce. Tom Davis loves country and western. They've come together. Texas Hold'em, guys, thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next time. Boom. Hopefully for the bonus.

All right, bye, bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye, bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.