Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 18: Two Hotel Rooms & Fish And Chips

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

We’re talking… hotel room podding, brickwork wallpaper, builders vs teachers, the amazingness of Katherine Ryan’s husband Bobby, Tom’s controversial Insta post for Rom’s birthday, teething toddlers, getting homesick, fish and chips, fake vinegar, the original sweet sweet soul, bible stories and a bit of Dickens too. Apologies for the audio quality on this one. They might have been swanky hotel rooms to record in but we had technical gremlins galore! For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all ass requests to steady your nerves Then podcast a body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear is a huff and puff and a...

Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog welcome to the wolf and our podcast uh just a slight slight technical interruption there as uh well talk both of us are in hotels not the same one you also very nice uh brickwork on the side there very cool yeah i mean it's sort of uh is it? Yeah, it's really deceptive. That's how it work. Yeah. You can fool someone on a zoom, can't you?

Yeah. But obviously when you walk in and touch it, it doesn't feel like bricks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, thanks for that. Actually, it's good for people listening to know. So it is wallpaper.

So it doesn't look like brick. When you do feel it, you can feel like it doesn't feel like brick. Obviously there's bricks underneath. That's lazy in a sense. So what they've done is they've taken bricks, they've covered those bricks and then they've covered those bricks. The covering of the bridge was something else that makes it look like bricks. Well, no, no, no.

What they'd have put in there would be bricks. So it would be in a plaster. Right. Plasterboard. Then they, yeah. Yeah. Then they would have screened it the plaster and then they'd have put on the wallpaper on the machine.

Yeah. And I guess it would have created, there would have been lunch breaks and stuff like that. And I, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd have to negotiate a day right on that. I imagine. Yeah. And I guess it would have created, there would have been lunch breaks and stuff like that. And I, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. She had a day right on that. I mean, there was some, some details. This is the, and you're showing you a naivety.

Um, that'd be price for it, mate. You, you'd have got for price for that. If you're a wallpaper, for painting decorators all day long, why would you have gone for, why would you have gone for, I don't know. I'm looking at it to verify whether I think you're right or not. Why would you have gone for a, why would you have gone for a, I don't know. I'm looking at it to verify whether I think you're right or not. Why would you have gone for it? Just so you could drag it out longer. I imagine. The old scaffolding or building, well,

now that you've left the industry, you really don't mind putting a boat in on them, do you at all? Right. If you don't know, I used to be a teacher, but I think that profession is incredible. Right. And big ups to all of you who are teachers. But what makes you so... I'm going to kick you, you've given teaching over the time that you've been here. You've gone two-footed.

Listen, I've got this in, Tom. Hold on, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold your horses. Now listen, I know you're staying in a luxury hotel, but just slow your roll a little bit. You obviously energize from the massages and the spas and all that shit and getting your nutritious five protein breakfast. But just relax. I've got in two footed on my teaching.

Okay. I've not gotten too gone, two footed on two. Listen, do I think the mass curriculum is wayfully outdated? Yes, I do. And I'm like, Oh my God, by the way, that's a geek you think you've ever said in your whole life. Do I think the mass curriculum is massively outdated? Look, do I do?

Yeah. I mean, it's true. Do I, do I think anybody needs to learn how to add fractions of different denominators? No, I said this, I think I said this in podcast episode six, I think. Yeah. That's not the alphabet. I think we had this discussion. God, at least, at least we're rehashing discussions from a long time ago now, rather than on a week to week basis, which is all normal. Anyway, go on. Sorry. So yeah, but I know so shout out a bit. Look, I think everyone should know the difference. If you're getting builders in or painters and decorators, you should, you should know the

difference in day rate and price work. Yeah. And can I just say, can I just say, I thoroughly respect, I respect builders. Right. I love them. I think they do a great job. What I would say is the, the proportion of jobs that I've asked to be done that has been something unlike the builder has ever seen before in their lives is quite high in what's in the sense of that.

I go, can you, do you reckon you could sort of knock this through and like make this into a small office? It's well, we, yeah, no, no, no. What you've got there is that that's like this guy's rich. knock this through and like make this into a small office. It's well, yeah. No, no, no. What you've got there is that that's like this guy's rich. We can, if we play this right, we can get another cut of ground out of it. Oh, so you want to knock that through making up a little room.

Yeah. Like that. That, yeah. Yeah. Okay, mate. Okay. Let me think about that. Um, let me think weakest link, Rob and Ron, uh, let me get around, uh, BBC radio

to host this admirably successful podcast. He's got a sitcom avoidance. Weakest Link, Robin Romm, a regular own BBC Radio 2 host. There's an admirably successful podcast. He's got a sitcom, Avoidance, love the first series, second series coming out in about a week, I should think it's this week. Yeah. You know what, mate? This is going to be a little bit more Trumpy than we want to focus on. Regan Aper.

That's the bit, that's what he's doing there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Catherine, Catherine Romm was convinced that she got that. Exactly. That happens on some job.

Yeah. Cause her list would have been double your one. She, she had some was going on at the time when she was having a house. By the way, Catherine Ryan is now married someone in Bobby, absolute gentleman of the game. Lovely geezer who, but who is also able, he's a very able man around the house when it comes to decorating when it comes to have you seen what he's done to their garden yeah I've seen it Bobby Kuzma

could arguably I think set up an Instagram page about doing jobs around the house and but the swimming pool and stuff he's incredible what well well well Tom Tom that's one of the highest compliments I've ever heard you give so you think Bobby could set up an Instagram page with pictures of his work on. Fuck it. All right, mate. Jesus. I think you could.

Yeah. I think Bobby could. I think Bob. I think we need to get Catherine. Listen, Catherine, I just saw what you're asking. It's not what you're doing. Please. Thomas just said something.

Tom, repeat that. What did you just say? I've no, I think Bobby, right? Generally, but there was a time when he'll do it again this year. Thank you for whatever. Bobby was doing their back garden and the way he moved that back garden was a thing of beauty. I was like, genuinely like fucking hell. He's smashed that he's absolutely that's levels up.

Right. I haven't even got that in my locker. Happy to say I'm not great with the lawnmower. Then Bobby's doing bits of the swimming pool. He's doing the beat. Mate, the guy's incredible when you something to anything that I know. I know Catherine was thinking about it, but I think after this, I will text him and say pull the trigger on that restraining order.

Anyway, you are you are in what you just described to me as the nicest how to say you've ever been. I don't know if you want to name it or not, but I probably won't name it. Let's not name it. But, but because what I don't want to do is getting into a Langham situation. No, uh, no, but I'm not going to, isn't, yeah, it's very, I don't think it's, it's, well, so basically what's happened is I forgot that, uh, basically, so it was your birthday this week. I put up a lovely considerate post. I thought, uh, from the heart.

No, you didn't pop a lovely concert the heart. No, no, no, you didn't put up a lovely considerate post. You selected horrific photos and then said, happy 50th. By the way, the number of messages I've got from people going, I had no idea you were 50. Can I just say something, right? Yeah. If this isn't a lovely, this is from the heart, right? Look, listen to this.

Happy birthday to my bro, Ramesh Reaganathan. feel blessed to have you in my life boss man a true friend of the first order happy 50th compadre right the ends a punchline and a joke the rest of it's from the heart right so can I tell you how the photo selection how I know the photo selection isn't from the heart because you let your little mask slip is because I said to you you chose some horrible photos and then you said, well, the boom's all right. So that's, that's what I knew exactly. That's a nice picture of us. I hate that picture. Do you know what I look like? Do you know what I look like?

Oh, okay. How can you not like that picture? That's fine. But that's because I'm in the distance and you sort of can't see my face. That's a cool picture of two bosses. I hate that. I fucking, listen. Mate, we know we're about to to go on stage and launch a fucking smashing rap album. Tom, why is my beard wider than my actual hair on my head? Look at both our beards. That's me and you. Lustrous. That's a big beard. And this one, I'm sorry, mate, this one, that is, we've both just been

at the comedy store in this one. It is one of the first times we've ever gigged together. Tom, I look absolutely fucking horrific. But I think that this is the first time we met, right? Why? Look at my face. But this is the first time we met. I'm still so excited to be there with someone. No offence. There was other big name comedians on there. At this point, you're essentially open mic'ers, right? I was so excited to be around you at that

point. I'm going to tell you now, I've worked with some amazing names, I've never asked for a picture of them. This is one of the only pictures I've asked for in my whole career. And it was with a guy, but I would say smashed the fucking gig that night. I had no idea that you'd go on to be this fucking household name. Look at that. I was so, look outside and you're like, what the fuck is this? No, you're like, do you know what's sad is that that is a stage when I was doing this, I've got to be like, you look moody and all the, I mean, I still do it occasionally.

What I would say is neither of us are wearing glasses that say our faces in that photo. But I'm going to tell you now, right? When I look at pictures from those years, uh, that's when I first met my wife. Yeah. They're the years where I look at those pictures and think, what was she thinking? I know. Well, I still think that now, cause let me just, I would full disclosure, uh,

your birthday was also, which I forget every year was the day that I got married. Right? Yes. That's why we started talking about this. So it was your wedding anniversary. So you did that post. So excited to do that post. Because you were so excited about doing the 50 thing. I know, let's be honest, the 50 thing came first. The 50 thing came first and you thought I'd probably do a play.

No, no, that's never how it works. I always work from the heart and then I work up to the mind. Right. So the heart was all the lovely stuff and then, you know, slips into. Right. But then, so I put that post up to you. And then at six o'clock that night, Katherine text me and said, Oh, by the way, that's right. Well, I was like, Oh, I sort of, I've got the ball ball here. A bit. So where, where were you?

I was at work. Okay. Fine. So she, she didn't text you from upstairs or something. No Jesus. No. And then you, and then you wandered upstairs thinking you're on a promise. If I'd have got that text and I've been downstairs and she even upstairs, I'd

have gone, dishwasher's broken again, better fix it. And then all night I'd be down in the kitchen fixing things. No, I don't know. But we had this booked anyway, so we've had a few days together, me, Catherine and Grace, which has been lovely. Apart from the fact that whenever we seem to go away, Grace, teed in today, uh, and T L weekend long. So grace has ended up, uh, in the bedroom, one of us or both of us over the whole of our stay, which is maybe sort of killed the romance a little bit.

Um, uh, Teedens light son of a gun, isn't it? It's not enough to get off. Said this, I'm gonna go too much into a bit of crust. I'm as your tooth coming through your gum. I know it's tricky. Have you seen an, have you seen an X- much into a bit. Christ, I'm as your tooth coming through your gum. I know it's tricky. Have you seen an, have you seen an X-ray of a baby's skull before the teeth come through?

No, don't Google it. No, I'm just saying it's one of the most horrifying things I've ever seen in my life. Do you, do you boys, by the way, do any of your boys or have they slept in your bed much? So our youngest, he went for a phase of sleeping on bed quite a bit, was that? No, no, just because Grace has never ever slept, never wanted to sleep in her bed, but then while we've been here, I don't know whether it was because we're in a different place,

like got into bed with, like, I was like, look, you know, if she gets into bed with me, Catherine, just go and she can sleep in the other room. Yeah. So Grace gets into bed and then slept really, like, she must have slept really well, kicked me in the face all through the night. But she slept well, I didn't necessarily have the greatest night's sleep, but she never, and then since then every night, like she'll go to sleep in a car and then we go in and like, she's like bed bed and she wants to get into bed and then sort of last night, step into the service in the bed. Yeah. I'm listening. I can't advise on much regards to parenting.

What I can tell you is tread very carefully, my friend. This is what I'm worried about. I'm worried about because it's you. You, what I don't want is you to, you know, us to blink and doing a podcast episode about how 21 year old grace won't get out of your bed. You know, that's, that's my big concern. I think also that's quite, yeah. I think by 21, if I haven't got a handle of it, then

I probably should throw my fucking, throw my dad badge away and sort of like muster off into the fucking distance. Like the whole kind of, I think if she's still- I mean, there's a lot to unpack there. I was obviously exaggerating for a joke, but you thought that the lack of confidence you've got in your parenting is you thought I was making a serious accusation. Well, I'm going to be quite open. I think of as a man who has literally no confidence

about anything. My parenting skills is the one thing. Parenting is a different level. Comedy, whatever else you do, confidence, friendships, everything else that I overcompensate for. Number one, I don't want to be that bad. But number two, I'm like, that's the one I'm like, I really can't mess this one up. So like, when Katherine's like, look, if she if you and her if she stays in a bed with you, that's gonna be a that she that could be a thing that she gets like, oh, this is fucking lovely. She's enjoyable double bed. I mean, chill out, I'm able to spread out.

If I get a bit cold in the night, I've got a big sweaty old fucking dad to sort of like lean into. Right. So then I'm like, yeah, but I think that I was like, look, she, she's clearly upset. I can't leave it like my, my promise. I, I'm a real overcompensator when it comes to worrying. She falls over.

I like sprinting over. Like, um, you know, I'm constantly, I've never ever looked out for dog poo like I do at the moment. She's in the park. I'm like, again, I'm Superman with X-ray vision. Just fight. I'm almost going to throw that, throw that. Go on.

Loss that. Last few years. I will say, but I noticed there's so much dog poo on the streets at the moment. I think it's gone up a whole new level. I think, I think you talked about it anyway. You're, you know, do you know that somebody emailed in saying that they're, you know, that DNA thing that, that, that somebody emailed in. Yeah.

So they're actually trying that somewhere. So didn't we've done this podcast has been three or four things that you've scored with your, I totally agree. The McDonald's thing, the dog poo thing. There's been a lot of things that I've been quite cynical about. And actually I'm going to hold my hands up here doing this podcast is slightly change my outlook on things. I would tell you another thing.

Yeah. Yeah. It has, it has done. It genuinely has. I would tell you another thing. Yeah. Yeah. It has. It has done. It genuinely has. I was actually maybe. Yeah. What?

Well, I was a, I was a machine. No, what's that? What? Why'd you say that? We should do it again. It's no builders thing. We used to check around with it. Why is it?

Why is it? It sounds, it sounds like the banter was electric on those buildings. So there's one builder, but it was scaffolding in particular, you still would say that he's an interesting guy. the Check with him. Is or happy to get mentioned or shall I just go ahead and ask JT to bleep out? As you said it I think we should probably bleep his name because yet it was a big life move that he did there and yeah Yeah, I mean it's a massive life move that you delivered in ten seconds within which he named him twice Incredible work by it He's insane. They got married by Kat Stevens. Oh, yeah. Yeah use of Islam. Use of

it. I've been, I've been away at the weekend, Tom. I, um, where have you been? Anyone? I smell love. I went, this is your radio too. This is that was so I went to, I went to a high tell in, in climping, where's Climping? In Climping. It's sort of near, near Arundel, near Little Hampton, that kind of way. Oh, Arundel. Arundel stands like somewhere that Frodo and all that would be knocking about. Well, actually I'll tell you what, it was quite, it was quite good. I got to drive past my dad's old prison.

Oh, Ford. Yeah. Yeah. I got to point it out to the kids. That's where granddad used to live. Did you really? Yeah. There's a, there's a cafe next to that, by the way. That's where granddad used to live. There's a cafe next to that. By the way, the prisoners run. Yeah, no,

there's a cafe next to it called serving time. Time spelt like the herb. Oh, wow. It's great work. Yeah, it's very good. Anyway, it was a dog friendly hotel. So we took Reggie and Ivy with us and they came and sat at breakfast with us, got me a little sausage in a bowl each. So he was very sweet. I had a really nice time, but then I had to go to for work. I've got this thing, right? And I don't know if you ever had this.

So it's hold up. So what day did you have? Cause you've obviously traveled. So we got, we got, we got back yesterday. And then I flew last night. Well, in fact, I can see the sorrow in you when you say that. Well, no, this is what the thing I want to talk to you about is, um, I think I'm getting, I don't know if you have this, I get, I'm getting homesick.

I think I'm getting, I don't know if you have this, I'm getting homesick. What I mean by that is like, I do a lot of traveling for it, which I'm very grateful for, it's an incredible thing, but I'm getting homesick. Like I'm starting to get sad about being away. Like when I was a kid, when I was a kid, I used to get pathetically homesick. I don't know if I've talked about this, but I remember once bailing on staying over at a mate's house because I was getting so, I'm starting to get like that again. Yeah, but I feel that's a nice place to be though. Yeah, I guess so.

But you know, I was about to say I'm 45, I'm 46, I'm 50 if you follow Tom on Instagram. Yeah, no, but also I think, but I think it is that thing of like things, the importance of things, like everything in a cycle and changes, right? I think you've got to be have you head into that. Like there's like, if I'm, you know, when we were in Wales, I found myself literally like thinking what what am I doing being away from home this month, you know, for this amount of time, even just going back to work and sort of I miss not, you know, a grace and Catholic, we were in a lovely few days away. But you know, I think as well, like when you give children, I'd say as well, it's very times very evident when when you've got kids because when you're adults, it's yeah, it's

just you know, and I made a joke about a 50th thing. but you know, I mean, you had, you know, best stuff, you know, with 45, 46 years old now is, you know, nothing massive is changing within us. You know, yeah, we're getting, we're creaking older. You know, we're just sort of, we're just sort of waiting for the end now. Kind of all man. It's like, you know, the, the, the one that keeps things that keeps us viral and like youthful is your children, but your children change and it's so evident. It's like, you know, you have three or four days away from Grace at the moment and you

come back and she's learned how to, yeah, she's doing her cut. She's talking about, you know, in name colors or she can count to five or whatever and you're like, fuck, I've missed this thing. And your boys are no different. Like there's things that they've done in their growth. And I think when you're away and like, even if it's for a few days or wherever, you start to clock that. And it's a very different, like for me as a dad,

there's times when I'm like, well, I'm out and I'm working and that's what I wanna do. And I wanna provide the best life I possibly can for my family. But there's also times when I think it becomes more evident and it probably sort of flushes to the surface at times that you're missing sort of points of life and that actually you like, you know, is it different times, different things? I guess you're important though.

I won't kick yourself and feel bad about that, man. I think it's an, I think it's a nice thing. I think you feel that. Well, you know, it's, um, it's, uh, when did you start wearing a bracelet like that. It's not just one bracelet. I tell you, braces for a long time. I'm a bit, I've been a bracelet guy. I've never noticed that.

Do you not like it? I'm quite like, I think it was quite cool. You quite like it. No, I'm not going to fucking like fucking kiss your ass about it. It looks cool. Yeah. Let's go with the Andy. That's very cool. I'm not going to find a kiss your ass about it. I'm not going to fucking like fucking kiss your ass about it. Let's go. Yeah, let's go with the Adidas. Very cool.

I'm not going to kiss your ass about it. So, yeah, anyway, I've been feeling about it. I had a great, great, great weekend. Great. We do any activities with the kids? Do we do an activity? There's a lot of mini golf, a lot of golf, as you know, Ranganathan's sport of choice. I went we went and got chips from a fish and chip place. I, the warning signs for me should have been that it said traditional fish and

chips. Yeah. So when I got the chills, I can say, by the way, what's the difference between traditional fish and chips and new fish and chips? So I fucking fish and chips have had a massive makeover. Well, you say that, right? But, um, so, so our oldest is a big fish and chips fan. Yeah. Literally. I respect the office so many things, but that's up there now.

Yeah. So literally, I mean, it's not sexy for girls, but if I'm ever out of the, I'll go, Oh, by the way, this is one boy, Theo fucking massive fucking fishing ship. But beginning to go into the country of fishing ships. I'll mention it to him. No, no, but don't tell him not to use it as a chat. I'm going to come to fish and chips. Yeah, I'll mention it to him. No, no, don't tell him not to use it as a channel line.

Well, I'll say to him, listen, just so you know, uncle Tom, uh, said they'll pick you off on the fish and chip thing if you ever hang out with him and then we'll see what his response to that will be. But, um, we went to some like quite swanky place and they, they did fish. Oh God. I actually a bit sick. We do. This is how do you think back about what you said? No, no, I just thought forward because that's how I would do it. Right.

I generally thought forward to a time that I am like, I take Theo and the rest of your boys and you to my local fish and chip shop that I think is really, really good. And we'll statistically be looking at your oldest son going, how are you right now? Right? Yeah. You're liking them. And if he goes, Oh, I'll go. Oh, and I can already feel the disappointment of me going into the shop and going, sorry, no, it just doesn't. I think you like them as much as we thought he was gonna. Hmm. We're gonna have sort of like look for a

new but you know, like the fish and fish and chip chips should be like really fat and like kind of Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll walk out of a place if if I look at the chips, I always pay on the counter or look at someone else's like meals I walk in just to see what they're like. Or I'll go past someone in the street go excuse me where are they from? They look like chips. Yeah, it's a good it's nice last break ofbreaker that isn't it? But I think that well, first of all, the chips were not efficient chips.

They were just sort of like, I don't have to explain it. There's lots of stuff like look, oven chips, they'd find in a fryer. Oh, my. And then I'm pretty sure this is going to upset you. I'm almost certain they would dilute in the vinegar. What we just didn't make it was like it just didn't need that snappy sour of the vinegar. I know. I didn't, mate, it was like, it just didn't. Mate, you need that snappy sour of the vinegar. I know, I know, I know. Listen, you're not telling me, you're preaching it in the converted.

But what I say sometimes when I go in, and this is like, I'll always say that, I said, do you want any salt and vinegar on your chips? I'm going loads, loads of salt and vinegar. If you think you've done too much, you've not done enough. You really fucking gotta level up for that. Cause I really need, want to open that wrapper. I'd be hitting the face by the smell of vinegar and so on.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so many times I'm dissatisfied when I then walk away open the thing. And there's a little sort of like, oh, there's vinegar on these. And then I buy a chip and go, OK, a little bit of salt. I had to go back and go, excuse me. Yeah. Then what I knew was and go, excuse me. Yeah. Then what I knew was going to happen, happened. Yeah. Okay. Um, it feels needlessly aggressive, your response, but, um,

if I go back in and go look, yeah, you're saying what I knew was going to happen, happened. No, no, I'll walk in and go, all right, you're right. It's me again. I was just in for the fishing ships. I was, yeah. Um, yeah. I was a person. Cut to the chase, right? It's me again. I was just in for the fishing ships. I was, yeah. I was a person. Cut to the chase, mate. It's a fucking queue. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but I said to you about putting as much salt

and vinegar as you possibly could. You've underestimated my love for salt and vinegar. I did put quite a lot of salt and vinegar on there, mate. If you can, and then I'd hold it up like that and go, just if you can. And then I watched quite, and I'm like, that looks like enough, thank you. Right. And I And then I watched quite and I'm like, that looks like enough. Thank you. Right.

And I'll say also when I'm here and I've got back to the front of the queue, can I have a bad sausage? That's you make it to, I'll have one while I wait, but what, what, but do they not have salt and vinegar on the side? That's such a rookie move, mate. I mean, if they let you do it yourself, which since COVID, I don't think they do as much like you do it yourself, which since COVID, I don't think they do as much like You want it in the wrapper so it all fucking steams in and just sort of like integrates itself Basically, you want the chips of vinegar to sort of fish or have a fucking pie So when you open they've all just become one don't mean it's like an orgy within the packaging

You know what? Yeah, I'm a fucking idiot. What I should be doing is telling them to do it and then having to come back into the shop. You're right. I'm such a mug. And anyway, I looked I looked into it. It turns out most fish and chip shops, this is going to absolutely blow your bollocks off. Go, go. Don't use real vinegar. What? Mm hmm. It's like crispy seaweed all over again. Let me Google this.

It's acetic acid or something. It's like a fake vinegar. That's insane. How can they do that? I don't know. Apparently, that's exactly what everyone's saying. Because apparently, if you look at the ingredients, your fish and chip shop probably isn't using vinegar. Your Friday night chippy tea may taste delicious, but the vinaigrette and chips might not be the real deal. In the video, it's actually called non-brewed condiment. It's chemically similar to vinegar. It's made from a mixture of ethanoic acid, water, food colouring and flavouring. Do you know what?

If I was in a fish and chips shop now and I'm still tempted for me and you to get in a game, I would have traditional fish and chips. They would be so right. Chips and luscious work whatever right? Do you mean old school? Right? Mm-hmm. We could call it. You better get out of this place place felt like place to fish, right? Okay, and then on the you know, I love I love Listen to you make a joke you and then what watching you pause as you wait for my reaction then give you nothing It's one of my favorite things to do.

Can I say that you are the line of message of doing that move or that like you, it's like you throw a punch, like you're about to laugh and then you just stop yourself got Bob Barrett catching quite sincere as a human being. It's quite a, it's very Joffrey. Well, you really fucking give me a liberal here. the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the fish and chips. No, no, we got them from that place down the road. Come on, rubbish. You've got you better get out of this place. Place built by the fish.

Oh, he's going to laugh. I love it. In a lot of ways, people said that was Maccabi's worst atrocity. Anyway, so you go and you will get out of this place. Right. And then I get like a graffiti big star right at the front, not on the front window. And it would say, we serve real more vinegar. It's great. Yeah. It's a great. And then people go, well, everyone does. right out the front window and it would say, we serve real more vinegar. This great show. Yeah.

And then people go, well, everyone does. I'm going, no, that's not true. Actually, you know, people that sort of skipping out. I mean, this is a fucking that's that. I mean, you can make a film about that. That's fucking insane. Apparently the reason they do is obviously it's cheaper, but it transports these, you can concentrate.

Right. No. So this is a thought I was just thinking, uh, we, when I was younger, we went on holidays to St. Ives, uh, it was all luxurious and we went on holiday to St. Ives. Boy, it was all luxurious and cool. We went down there as a family. And we were my cousins.

And I always remember we went to a fish and chip shop and we're all sitting down and we're sort of having our fish and chips supper and looking over the beach. And one of my cousins, Isabel, and she just started freaking out because there was flies in the vinegar, dead fires in the vinegar. And we'd all like sort of like coated our food in this vinegar. Um, my sister, I remember at the time, like my dad was like, she's discussing this flies in this vinegar and everyone was sort of kicking off. My sister was eating everyone's chips because she was worried that

they were going to take the chips away. Uh, why did you give that data? He found it funny. But I just remember like, my cousin Isabel, who's quite a dramatic kid, he was literally stopping, like stopping screaming and so it was like a disaster movie. Yeah, like she'd seen like an avalanche or some shit. She's like, Oh, yeah, it was pretty because so I carry that. But

let's not start getting to the science of flies. But one of the things I got, we got slightly nervous about I started to get disproportionately panicky about actually is the two each of the boys had a portion of chips right? Right. Yeah. Theo expressed disappointment in both the time. I'd have gone grace, grace, Catherine, just give me a second. I'm going to things I haven't heard about chips. I feel I should be in on this. Um, uh, so they'll actually be doing a bit of Googling and it turns out what you think might be, but it might actually not be. Hold on one second. Ethanolic acid.

Oh, Doug, watch out. There's a seagull coming at your chips, mate. Mate, but that is, that is exactly, that is exactly what I started to get panicked about. Charlie. Oh, really? Charlie, you know, bless him, little kid, right? He's got no ideas about what kind of aggression seagulls can demonstrate. He's like chatting.

Seagulls are the pricks of the sky, maybe. He is chatting, just like talking to us and like, you know, enjoying his chat, swinging the chips about just liberally, like, you know, up in the air. I said, I had to say to him, Charlie, you put, you're almost teasing them. Right. Okay. Look above and we can, uh, genuinely started to see that they started to spot a weak member of the group as somebody is not, doesn't have to protect their chips. You know, a little fucking tornado.

What? The seagulls are like that. What's the deal with that? There's a kid down there fucking showing off his chips. You're going to have them? No, no, no. Look at them. They're those shitty ones.

They're fucking shitty. They're having chips, mate. Yeah. I'm not doing, I'm fucking sweeping down the way down there. What do you want me to do? Sweep down there for effanoic acid? I don't fucking think so. No, no, wait till I smell some real malt vinegar and then you see a fucking die.

That's a tube scale colour. That's a tube scale. He had that build around his house. Give me the bigger one in your office. Never got it done. Do you know what I might do? I might just knock the chips out of his hand and not eat them. Just a shame little prick. Tommo, have you gone for any full massages while you've been there? I haven't had a massage. No, no, no. We've actually, we've just been out walking, just enjoying the sights. We went to see the parade, the little King's Par parade thing down at the mail, which is very nice.

Place like that. Very excited. A little cut the park trips. Little bit of shopping. Mm. Be lovely, man. Really nice. Yeah. The nicest hanging out the three of us. Just very nice. A little time to Easter. I actually like Easter. I know Jesus and all

that stuff. I think I do you got, do you get whatever credit to? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can I ask you a question? Because we started talking about Jesus over the weekend. That is not, it sounds like I'm right. I feel just off, just after the vinegar thing, I said, let's start talking about Jesus. God. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, Jesus and proxies because we used to know about this didn't they? Yeah. They're different brand loans into this.

First thing Sunday morning I said, he is risen. What I didn't know. Is that what I was laughing this morning? I just said, I don't fucking think so, I'm not even for Jesus. Going back to sleep. the the the the the

the the the the the the the That's what it occurred to me that I didn't know. I thought it was like a few days. It was kind of weeks, right? Yes. It was 40 days until I had to Google it. And then I became embarrassed.

Just over a month. I didn't know. Do you know what I mean? See, he didn't lock a lot of work in that. Like sort of 40 days though. Yeah. How'd you know? Well, I think he did from what I remember.

I mean, look, I was, we were brought up like Greece, go to Catholic school and so we used to do like fucking read the Bible and shit. But, um, Jesus, I mean, Jesus, sorry, Jesus. I mean, in talking about him, I've used his name in vain three times in a row there. Sorry about that. From what I can remember about him, like, and obviously he's always, he

always did a lot, yeah, from allegedly did a lot of good work and was a good person to knock about with. Right. But after the, he, after he came back, he was like, I think from what I can understand with Jesus, he realized obviously, oh shit, death's actually pretty fucking bad. So let me just, I've got this second go. So I'm going to basically knock my pipe out and just get loads done in the last 40, 40 days. Yeah. He finished the carpentry stuff he had like sort of. I think that was our hobby, right? The carpentry. Well, he was, his dad was a carpenter, right?

Yeah. Joe was. Yeah. Well, he's not his dad. He was his stepdad. No, his stepdad. Sorry. And I imagine he got right into the carpentry after his mates were taking the piss out of him for swallowing that story. But the sort of whittling and anger every day. Do you reckon Joe? Yeah, but then, yeah, I think Joseph was actually, Joseph was a fucking good man. He didn't get enough written about him in the Bible. Well, it's a fair bit, isn't there?

You know, as much as you'd like, he was a sweet, sweet, sweet. He's a bit like, he was the actually the original sweet, sweet soul. I don't know. Always. I mean, he's a bit like, bit like have you ever read great expectations? No, and I don't think you have either. Yeah, he's a bit like pips uncle in great expectations. You've read great expectations.

Of course I have. I'm not fucking see I'm not sleeping on dickens here, but really, I don't mean anything like anti I'm listening. I'm not saying that you're not smart enough. You're a very smart guy. I'm not suggesting that you're not smart enough. You're a very smart guy. I'm not suggesting that. Great expectations is, I didn't think it would appeal to you. That's, that's a great story. What was the great expectations of story of a little ragamuffin who gets

some extraordinary wealth. I mean, I don't want to give any spoilers because you've not watched it or seen it or read it, but it's a great story. But you've read it. Yeah. Yeah. It's just that you went, you've not watched it or seen it already. That's, that's what, that's what sort of.

For the cat amongst the pigeons in terms of. Right. I've read some Dickens in my time. Don't you worry about that. You have. Okay. Yeah. You have read great because you can say you've read Dickens.

There's a couple of things that are falling apart. For me, right. You put Dickens and Shakespeare in a ring. I'm having Dickens every day. Great. But you have read Great Expectations. I've read Great Expectations. Okay, fine, fine, fine.

Yeah, and Oliver Twist, if you must know. Okay. Oliver Twist, I think, a little bit overrated at times. Why do you not like Oliver Twist? But I'm saying this as somebody who's never read any Dickens, just to be clear. Why have you read any Dickens? What are you doing? I think I might have tried to start Oliver Twist, but then, like this is somebody who's never read any Dickens just to be quick. Why have you read any Dickens? What are you doing? I think I might have tried to start Oliver Twist, but then like couldn't keep at it for

some reason. Well that's some trouble with Oliver Twist. Also everyone knows Oliver Twist rolls out, right? Yeah, everyone knows the story. And look, let me just say Pip against Oliver Twist again. I like Pip. Pip's got a bit about him. Quite a naive kid, a bit like, I mean, a lot of Dickens work does sort of lean into that sort of a naive boy who sort of like, you know, but, uh, Twist. I'm not having to it.

I think Twist would be a bit of a melt if you're knocking around the way, like, you know, to be fair to him, he's had a pretty tough start in life. So did Pip. I think it's a bit harsh after what Oliver the twist has been for you to describe him as a bit of a melt. I just think that when he turned and then in your world, Pippen Oliver twist fucking go take a time some sort of cage fight.

I mean, I'm not saying I think Dickens has smashed it out of the park. There's not enough case fights in his work that have been quite fun. But yeah, obviously, it would be not a bare knuckle bite. Fart biting fighting. Probably be a bare knuckle biting. That sounds like that's the next iteration. Right. Um, yeah, it's very corporate army pit and all that.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, yeah. Joseph and Pips uncle have got a lot in common for me. Yeah. So no, Joseph's sweet, sweet self. Well done, man. You know, good.

Well done for sort of still supporting, I guess. Do you mean in many ways the ultimate, the ultimate step, he's like, he's there for us in the building. Go. Yeah. He's the, yeah, you know, he's the guy. It's mad that he's in probably one of the biggest books of all time. I'm going to grow a storage.

I fuck up a carpenter's made it. It's not much sort of talk of builders, scaffolders, roofers, but yeah. Joseph, you go, Oh, my fair enough. You've done well, that mate. Yeah. No, good for him. Do you think with Joseph, uh, he had any idea that his legacy would carry on that long? The other time he's just getting by, right? He's only in a couple of quid doing his carpentry. He's bringing up the son of Christ, uh, of God, right? Christ and all that. He's probably thinking, maybe down at pubs, I'm like, yeah, 20 years later. So I'm going, oh yeah, I used to look about Joseph on the building sites. I think he'd done that. But he probably didn't know the

ramifications of that. Like, you know, what thousands I think is now with these thousands of years old, people would still be chatting about him. No, it's incredible. Yeah, I can't imagine how many of them were thinking about legacy. We're just sort of knocking about. Jesus, it's incredible. I can't imagine how many of them were thinking about legacy. They're just sort of knocking about. Jesus had his eye on legacy. Yeah, I mean, listen, I imagine he was thinking, they're not talking about me for a bit. This has been a massive waste of time. Yeah, this seems like, you know, fucking turning bread into fish and coming back from the

dead seems big enough for people to chat about me for a couple of years. Yeah, at least a decade. Who's the first? It's Moses who parted the rivers, innit? The Red Sea. Yeah. Yeah. Arguably a bigger trick than Jesus. Yeah, I know, but this is not Copperfield versus fucking David Blaine here.

It's just whatever's required. I'm sure Jesus could have parted the Red Sea if he felt like it, but they've gone, well, that's really good Jesus. First of all, the sea's nowhere near here, but we do need some fucking tuna sandwiches. So do you want to get to moving on to a trip that's actually useful? Well, what's the problem with the tuna sandwiches, if I'm going to be honest with you? You can have either the sandwich or the tuna. I will need something.

Can I just say, I know, look, can I just have a word? I know it is quite impressive, this bread and fish thing, and yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough, people are all getting fed. But I've just been looking this up. That's not real mayonnaise. I don't think that is used on there. Is there some vinegar on this fish? Listen, we're all having a good time, but I think it's a... Quick, come over here. There's a fella pie in the Red Sea.

What the fuck's wrong with me? Right, Tomo, should we do one email? Yes, do one email, would you? This is from the Sleepy sloth and baby sloth. Hi guys, the only animal name I've come up with this is sloth as I have a five month old and desperately want to sleep all day and do nothing. I'm currently listening at three. I'm going to the three, the old pods each night with my iPods in seen that iPods, AirPods rocking the baby. I've struggled with my

second child and my mental health and at least looking forward to listening to the pod has helped me get through. I love my baby, but, rocking the baby. I've struggled with my second child and my mental health and at least looking forward to listening to the pod has helped me get through. I love my baby, but fucking hell, babies, babies are so unreasonable. If you're tired, then sleep. So thank you. You both always seem so down on the quality of the pod. Well, some of some of the Apple reviews, but it is my favorite pod and I'll spend my maternity leave getting through every app.

I'm slowly learning the theme song. I have to have it down. Oh my God. People are learning the theme song. I have to have it down. Oh my God. People are learning the theme song. That's pretty cool. Right. I think we should genuinely do this. If you could attach your version of the theme song as a voice note, we'll

play it on the pod. What do you think? Oh, big moments. I'd love that. I'd be fucking cool. I love anything like this. Hmm. I know you do it because you don't have to do it in the admin.

Uh, please know the conversations. Uh, I'm selling them in the theme chain. Hope to, if you get it, not learn, please send it in. Please know the conversations are so soothing and relatable. Don't change a thing. Shout out to my husband is the most helpful and involved dad and husband. He does more than he should because he's working too. He could deal with smiling a bit more, but hey, how I'll set off from being my absolute what with a miserable face.

Oh, that's lovely. That's a real little's a little bit like a little sign that's shown under my heart here. There's no actual question here, Tom. I'm actually from Barnstable. Most people who would give rum a light without the added racism. This is from the story where I go somebody a light and then no, somebody gave me a light and then they asked me. Completely disgusting. Happy to you. But seeing as I've heard what pub it was, go somebody a lie and then no, somebody gave me a lie. And then they asked you, completely discussing habits here, but seeing as I've heard what pub it was, sadly, I'm not surprised. Uh, we saw you in Ilfacom last year.

Please come back and bring Tom. Tom, are you planning on doing, are you doing any, uh, Devon Econ, not Devon Econ, what Exitory? I'm doing Exitory. Yeah. I've been excellent somewhat kind of other place right at the end of the tour. Um, speaking of which I've got two things to plug if you don't, if you don't mind. Yeah, go ahead. My baby. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the plug section with a rummage.

Sure. And give me the, uh, plug. Number one, second of June, 2024 crossed wires podcast festival. Wow. Yeah. Sheffield city hall. They will be receiving the wall for now for a live spectacular in Sheffield. It's going to be the first one in the first one in the north. Cause we've done so, uh, magic, certainly.

But, uh, yeah, yeah. So that's, yeah. Um, so that's exciting. Isn't it? I'm very excited. Sheffield's a beautiful city. It's so fun. It's going to be able to see your steel and iron and metal. Um, so yeah, it'll be fun. So get involved.

Yeah. Uh, tickets are available at the cross crossed wires website. Also there's some amazing other podcasts. I think you can buy like a ticket where you go and watch loads of different podcasts from what I imagined. Um, Catherine Ryan's doing it. Sure. Catherine Ryan and you won't even get to me, Bobby. He might be there. Fingers crossed.

He might do some alarm bang stuff. Uh, Adam Buxton's doing it. Bucksoe. Bucksoe is one of the original, uh, podcasters. Yeah. Uh, and John Ronson's doing it as well. Wow. John Ronson amongst others.

Yeah. So they've actually got decent podcasts there as well. Uh, crossed wires dot live for tickets. Get along, get those tickets brought. And yeah, it might be the only one we do together this year. Live. We'll see. Hopefully we can do another one later.

Yeah. Well, you're up for like doing a massive tour. Right. And you know what I would love to go, you know what I'd love to go with you, Dublin in November or December. I do actually think that'd be good. Should we do it? I'd love to do Dublin. That's a great idea. Do you know what I would love to go? You know what? I'd love to go with you. Dublin in November or December. I do actually think that'd be good. Should we do it? I'd love to do Dublin.

That's a great idea. Do you know what the best way to do is to announce it now and then let flow know afters that it's got to get sorted out. So flow, if you're listening, if you're listening, we'd like to do, where did you say Dublin? Dublin. We'd like to see Dublin before the end of the year. Before the end of the year.

I've been waiting. Yeah. Um, I, uh, just quickly, I do you have a plug on them? We'll get on to other starts this Friday. 9 30 BBC one trailer. Looks bangin my friend all episodes on the iPlayer trailer. Looks very banging. Lot of you in Lycra.

Not a few in Lycra. Look, you're very sexy thing where you write a thing and then you forget that you're going to have to do all the time. Yeah. I No, no. If you like her, I think you're very sexy. Do you have that thing where you write a thing and then you forget that you're going to have to do it all the time? Yeah. I mean, yeah. Go back to watch the cast series too. When I'm wearing a pair of fucking Speedos for a whole episode. Yeah.

You think it's, you think it's going to be funny. I mean, then the costume come from the girl. We've got your outfit and you go, oh, fuck you now. Yeah. And then you realize, I mean, as you know, it happened to me on King Garry, I was subject of a ongoing brilliant campaign. Yeah. as you know, happened to me on King Gary. I was subject of a

ongoing belief campaign. Yeah. I quickly I will say as well. I was targeted this week from I put up two posts actually I really I sort of slipped into a Romesh world where I thought I put up a picture of a big mixed grill I had. Which can I just stop you there before you forget? Why did you slip it? Let's just clarify this. Why did you slip into Romesh? What does that mean? Because you you you had a bit of aggression towards you

Radio to post yeah, I would say mate. I thought what was quite an Controversial post a picture of some meat that I was about to eat. Yeah, I got quite a lot of Messages some that I've deleted or like comments underneath it, um, and then quite a lot of DMS that was sort of quite aggressive about the picture of me and a lot of people, by the way, so, and I, there's one guy actually who for himself came into a bit of hate, I think he thought there was fish on the plate, uh, and was referencing a conversation that we'd had on the podcast many rooms ago when we were talking about blackfish, the, uh,

um, the Other documentary the documentary And I think he was referencing that but then I think a lot of people thought he was actually Having a target me for being overweight So he actually had nothing for actually a bit of unfair. But anyhow, I digress if it ups anyone I'm very sorry. It was just I was very impressed by it as a mixed grill I filmed very strange about how to a fire what the fuck are you talking about I got a lot of people got really upset by the picture of the play of me a lot of people I don't know I didn't need you have mate on all the years a lot of people go like this is vulgar this is just like yeah yeah yeah what I had to delete some of the, but wait, I had to delete a lot of the fucking

things because I was bullshitting me. I swear, bro. So this is the picture. Right. And you've put that up on your group on, on your grids. Did you put that up? Yeah. Oh, that.

Okay. I mean, that is bananas, but okay. And then what sort of comments, I just of them? Cause I just find them very evil. Why are people annoyed by people to eat more animals? Wow. Really cool.

Uh, I think I've got rid of most of the bad ones. Oh, I think the guy actually who has, he looks like he's probably deleted that himself because that was quite, it got quite controversial on Saturday night. Is it mainly people that don't eat meat having to go to you for promoting meat?

Is that what the situation? I think so. And then I watched the boxing shout out Fabio, Wardley and Fraser Clark made a fight on Sunday night and then I was quite tired. I hadn't slept some sleep for three nights and I mistakenly put two instead of T W O and was then chastised for that. So I'm by the grammar police and spelling police. So I actually apologize for that. God, what is wrong with people?

Oh no, no, no, but that's life. Anyhow, anyhow, I digress. Um, it's been a lovely pod, man. It's been good. The hotel pod brother. Yeah, the hotel pod. Who guys? Yeah, I don't feel like I've been great. But you know,

listen, I keep saying, you're always great. You're always great. Thank you. Some do you fancy doing Yeah, I do. Do you fancy taking us out with a little thought of sort of the way go for it, bro? Because I've seen it in the lens, feelings and flaws. I don't know. Then around 10. That's the place you want to go. We also reach for the sky. Let's get as high as we can. Let's just really push ourselves to the next limit. Tell them that we need to look at a floor and think, wow, flaws. Let's hang around here for a while. The truth of the matter is flaws are doing a lot of

the hard work themselves. Think about flaws, carpets, grass, nice bit of wooden flooring, tarmac. The floors for a lot of time are saying, yo, actually, it's not too bad hanging around here. Look upstairs, look at the ceilings. Dave, some Italian buildings with really pretty pictures on them. It's essentially just a bit of white plasterboard. What am I talking about? What am I talking about? This, I'm talking about. Talking about this. I'm talking about this folks. Sometimes nowhere you're at isn't a bad thing. Sometimes it's good to reach and look for new limits, new possibilities.

But quite a lot of the time it's good to stay where you are just for a bit, just to stand there, feet in the grass or in a luscious thick pile carpet. I think, you know what? I've climbed this far already. Maybe this is the peak. There's nothing wrong with taking a moment and saying I've reached where I can reach. There's nothing wrong with going,

I can't really push myself too much further. There's nothing wrong with pressing pause for a second. The next time you look up and think, I wouldn't mind getting there, just think, actually, I'm quite enjoying being here. Remember, the presence is an amazing place to be. It is a present in itself. Don't enjoy it. Jesus Christ.

You stumbled onto about three or four fucking absolute diamond coats right at the end there. I mean, you know, it started off quite meandering, but then you tied it up with beautifully, man, do you know what I mean? That bit about- Like I took a quart of Wimsicall and then I just thought, yeah, but anyway the thing the thing Never mind looking up there just saying i'm quite happy like that that was I can't even

quote it properly it was unbelievable. Thank you Fred. Well done mate well done. Right JT can you play us out with a little bit of Louis Cole a song that I love called when you're ugly Wow it's a great shit guys we'll see you next time thank you so much double gun fingers from Tom and double gun fingers for me DJs Tom just double gun fingers for me fucking hell fuck's sake right see you later guys bye adios There is something you can do Fuck the world, it can't be real cool When you love it There is something you can do Fuck the world, it can't be real cool If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.