Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 20: Nightmare Fuel & Carb Loading

Episode Date: April 17, 2024

We’re talking… kids presenter styles, the City of Crawley, ‘Owl Man’ the superhero, early stand-up routines, Rom's final marathon preparations, an update on Tom’s very painful toe, Insta Lives with Robbie Williams, being friends with Take That, watching the Amy Winehouse movie with Graz, managing cinema snacks and the scourge of un-popped popcorn kernels. Plus, email questions about some serious manspreading and how to maintain motivation after running a marathon. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Beak or jaws, feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves, then podcast a body pass, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows

Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff a puff and a puff and expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing its head spinning just kidding every word in this songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog yo yes hello welcome to the wolf and owl I hope you're having a great time Like a kids TV person yeah, hey guys, how's it going? We're it's me the owl

Fuck up with me very the wolf And we're having a we're having a bit of a funny body. We we got up early today. Didn't we wolf? Well, you got earlier than me. I got up at 6.30 yeah I got up at 6 no yeah I did get up gym session yeah I did do a little gym thing bro this is it this is a week before the big the wrap big boys oh mate the the yeah I mean I'm looking forward to to it being over I'm doing I'm doing my first Radio 2 show on the Saturday, which is nerve racking enough. You really like to step on for your anxiety, don't you?

Mate, mate. When you're making an anxiety cake, it's very much modeled on a wedding cake. As many tears as you can cram in on one. So I said to, it's like I've gone, do you know what I'm running out of? Nightmare fuel. So let me just get some of that stocked up on. So this weekend I'm doing the first radio show. Then I'm doing Brighton, which is Brighton Dome, which obviously-

That'd be amazing by the way. Brighton is incredible. Yeah. It's one of the best places to gig. I know you've gigged it and you know. Yeah, can I say shout out, shout out, shout out Brighton. Shout out Brighton. Shout out. So I'm like sort of six nights there or something.

I'm doing six nights at the dome, yeah. My guy. You're like Brighton's favorite son now. That is a, that is a incredibly accurate shout. I mean, my main issues with it, one, I'm nowhere near the biggest person in and around Brighton, two, I'm from Crawley. Yeah, I know you're from Crawley,

but Brighton is like your nearest big city, right? Yeah, I mean, you know, Crawley's quite a big town. No, Crawley's a big city, and yeah, Crawley was pretty set up for like 100 nights. You do like Peter Cahill there. Crawley, it asked me to get involved with their bid to become a city. Oh, wow!

They tried to become a city a while ago. And they asked me to sort of not get involved, but I had to like do a little supporting statement, even though, well, I'm not sure how I feel about it. What did you say in your supporting statement? I can't remember, it was a while ago. I've lived in Crawley Oak my whole frigging life. I'll tell you, I've been to cities as a standing comedian and this

this gaff is as much a city as anything I've ever known in my fucking life mate. So give us a city shit. Yeah I mean why am I calling myself a standing comedian? I don't mind the voice, I don't mind the nerdiness. What I do mind is you making me sound like I've been in some sort of fucking accident You know, this is Reagan 8th and first name wrong. Yeah I don't actually think the statement needs to be that long. My name's from it's Reagan 8th. I think it should be a city. End of. How did he did he get the seaship or? No How did he get the seaship? No. Then there was a rumour going around that they were going to call it Gatwick City. Wow.

Yeah. What do you think of that as a name? I actually think it sounds pretty fucking good. It sounds quite marvellous. Gatwick City sounds pretty cool. Yeah, I know. But what I would say is, listen, obviously I love Crawley. I love here.

But if you were to say I'm heading over to Gatwick City and then you arrived in Crawley, I love here. But if you were to say I'm heading over to Gatwick City and then you arrived in Crawley, I think there's a mismatch between the name. You know, Gatwick City implies that there's some sort of superhero that oversees it all and makes sure that crime doesn't get to her. Yeah, well in a sense that could be you. You could be that, you know.

The Al. You'd be like the Bruce Wayne, yeah. Al Man. Yeah, like a comedian comedian stroke sort of philanthropist who every Every night when this crime turns into a sort of like crime kicking ass kicking crime stopper. I could be quite cool Yeah, yeah, yeah, it could be yeah Fingless gloves like a sort of you know, let her house costume just sprinting around just doing stuff Why don't we're fingerless?

You know leather house costume just sprinting around just doing stuff. Why don't we're fingerless? Just good picture of you and fingerless gloves. Okay, but that's all defaced Yeah, I mean the reason they wear gloves is to not leave prints and stuff It's a mad it's a mad idea Oh, it's rubbish Reagan. I think he wears fingers gloves His fingerprints are everywhere Absolutely fucking everywhere and actually he's touching stuff. We're finding fingerprints where we've got no record of him ever being, which is bizarre. Mainly in and around the subway in town.

What seems to be happening here is the outmen seems to be sneaking into people's houses at night and they pretend that there's a crime being committed there and just sort of walking around and touching things. know, like people stroke their hand down a wall, there's just a long sort of like... What I like there is you became seriously worried that you're making it seem like some sort of sex offender and so backed out of it. It's very kind of you. Yeah, but there's some places I'll go to with this. But sort of my vacant... Yeah, you went, he's going to places he shouldn't be under the pretext that crime's been committed. Straight away we both think, well that sounds like a perv. That sounds like a weird perv.

And then you try to back out of it. Which I appreciate you doing. Yeah, no, no, because I didn't want to sort of, yeah. Yeah, but your our voice would be like, yeah, you're speaking like that to your in a day, but your our voice would be like that. Hello mate, you got a problem. Yeah, I was here to solve it. What am I first ever, I think we might talk to, one of my first ever stand up routines was about the voice that Christian Bell used in the Batman movies.

Right. That was like my first ever, I can't even remember what the joke was, I just remember thinking the voice was weird. It probably was nothing more than that. Have you seen the Batman films? What's going on with? What's going on with Christian Bell's voice? Oh wow yeah Is that a bit dodgy isn't it?

I'm the Batman What are you doing? Alright mate, alright mate calm down I had a load of stuff Just really surface level observations I had a load of stuff from Peter Cratch's dance Yeah It'd be the moment for tall people that sort of really opened the door for us to be treated normally.

When I think about some of the early stuff, like I remember writing a bit about why do people have compost apes. All right, mate, fucking hell. And then I did a thing about, oh, god, it's so bad. I did a thing about, oh god it's so bad, I did a thing about, I don't know what to talk about, I did write a bit about strip clubs. Oh god, do you want to give yourself an edge? Well I don't know if that was what it was, but I'm really... If I write a bit about strip clubs, I might be invited to go to a strip club.

Just then, just go home and write a bit. Have you heard about this dangerous new comic that sort of just emerged on the open market? Everyone wanted to be dangerous. He's the only comedian that's talking about both. Oh fucking hell, my series just activated on my... Because you're talking about strip clubs. I think it might be, just suddenly got activated. He's out there on the stage mate, he's talking about the things we care about, Cobb Bust Eats, Strip Clubs, does an amazing bit where he does Batman's voice. Finally somebody's hit the Holy Trinity of comic topics. So anyway I'm doing a radio show Brighton Dome marathon. I'm so excited for how I'm gonna feel,

actually, right now in a week. This time next week, waking up Monday morning. I know you too well. Yeah. Because I know what'll happen is you'll book something in on Tuesday. So the Monday feeling will be like really sort of like brief and then you'll book a big job in for Tuesday.

Yeah. Well, do you know what? It's just gonna be so incredible to wake up on Monday Knowing that I've smashed one of my knees to piece and I've been sacked from radio to it's gonna it's gonna be an incredible buzz No, actually, I've already got something in on Tuesday. I think of course. Yes Boy, are you how's the training going? How are you feeling, like body, mind, soul-wise? Well, I'm in a bit of a, this is the, I'm not supposed to be training too much.

I'm supposed to be carb loading. What I would say is, I think I've put on my- Sounds like my idea of absolute carb loading, literally sounds like. That feels like the thing I could do best in life. Yeah, you're supposed to like stuff as much glycogen as you possibly can into your muscles. Well glycogen, that's the carbs right? Yeah. Healthy carbs or any carbs? Well theoretically it can be any carbs but the

problem is with carbs is oh god I'm sorry what the fuck has happened to us? The problem is with carbs are we saying these words out loud? All I can see is you sitting on the edge of a bed, you know when people do that picture of them on the edge of bed and they've got their sort of fists underneath their chin. Well, the problem is you'll be doing like a Joe Wicks video about calves. Yeah, but he's got himself into a bit of shit, hasn't he? Yeah, yeah, he's brought in old Joe. There's a lot of, there's a lot of, for all this talk about people not wanting to cancel people and not wanting to, like, you know, put people you pressure because as I said stuff the pylons

Recently a fucking breathtaking. I mean, it's like Well, I don't I don't want to say okay. Okay. There's been a couple recently Which is a nice and I've bought it I like Wixie. I felt a little sorry for him on that. I mean, look, I had some of ADHD and I don't, like, I think what he's said has been taken out massively of how he meant it. By the way, listen, yeah, I mean, it's difficult for you. You are someone with ADHD who does eat a lot of ultra-processed food, so if anything, I imagine it's after he met you that he came up with this theory. But as a kid, I didn't really eat any processed foods. My mum was like a health nut. So it's sort of like would argue. But then again,

that's your problem. My HD has got worse as I've got older. And I love processed food and would live on it. When you say about carbs, I'm like, all I can think about is I'll probably My HD's got worse as I've got older. And I love fucking up to a process of food. I would live on it. When you say about carbs, I'm like all I can think about is I'll probably have five, six pizzas on the run up to a marathon a day. Yeah, but that's the thing though, Tom. I reckon I've put on my training for this marathon.

Because it makes you ravenously hungry. Yeah, that's one of the big things about it. And now I've got a carb load. So hold up, so are you doing no running training at all in the like this week? So basically it's a bit of a double-edged sword. So what you want to do is you do have to do a bit of training because what you don't want to do is go into the marathon not having run for a week. Yeah. But at the same time every time you do run you you're taking away energy, you know, you're taking out glycogen from your muscles to say really, or you're supposed

to be it's a bit of a conflicting objectives. I mean, yeah, you thought about going to the stretch lab, by the way, this week. No, but I am getting so I'm getting an apologies, by the way, people that are finding this marathon chat boring after next week you won't hear about it Well, no, we'll have the celebration episode Or it would just be well So it was a sad episode this week I didn't have the minerals Yeah, well actually

That that that those words you just heard from the owl there were his last words He uttered into his interest phones are recording as he fell dead on the mall So we'll just be the end of the year. I think it's about the end of it. Yeah, I think so Yeah, I saw a map of the rope. I don't really know I could get I mean I could be the first person I'd say arguably getting lost at the Marathons worse and like passing out what I'm gonna try and do Tom is follow the other people I mean it's not you better than that you better what someone turns to you and

they're not right there from another country like an Italian guy sister hey what's where do we go now and you're're like, I don't know, I'm just following everyone's bills. Yeah, I would go follow Los Athletos. There's 40,000 of us. Yeah, OK. What bit of London is this? And you're like, I don't know. Listen, I'm not there as a fucking tour guide, all right? No, but you're from London, nearly.

No, I'm not. You're from Gatwick City that's just outside London. You're in London all the time, Ron. You're in London probably more than 90% more actual London nearly. No, no. You're from Gatwick City that's just outside London. You know, you're in London all the time, Ron. You're in London pretty much, 90% more actual Londoners. Right? Someone turns around and says, oh god, what is that beautiful building? I don't know, I'm trying

to plan a tune of Marathon. Tom, Tom, it's enough to prepare for the Marathon without having to also prepare for an open top bus tour so that I can be a guide to people as they go around Yeah, I'm just hoping to make you don't know me you've got but also what if what if right you twist your ankle? Right you twist your ankle bad, right? And everyone knows hanging around for you before you know it everyone else is cleared off, but you want to finish the marathon, right?

You've got finish it. So you limp the whole way right which actually I think is what happened in one fat boy run but you basically see the last one to finish in one fat boy run yeah yeah so you're then just limping right you can't rely on the fact that someone's gonna go hey guys where was Reagan Atherton's ankle so we'll slow down a bit they all want to finish in the best time right so you've then got to fucking know your route. All right, fine. In the event that that happens, Yeah.

If in the event I twist my ankle, I'm last, and I've got to try, and I want to complete the marathon because otherwise the next episode of Wolf and I will be bad. I've got two options there. One is that I rely on the memory I've got of revising what the route is over over the last way or I Google it Oh, yeah, we can have your phone on you. We're gonna put your phone. Well, I've got a running vest little running

You know, you have one of those little backpacks with the juice and stuff in it. No, I'm not carrying any water with me It's all actually what you can say. Yeah, what was his dirty miles mate? Well, it's twenty six point two.2 and they have water stations. My big fear is shitting myself. Oh man, that'd be the worst. All shitting full stop. So we'll see what happens. Yeah, you know what would happen?

You know what I'd say is have big, like have sort of something big the night before. So you wake up and you need a big shit. So you have that big shit, like in the morning. Yeah. Are you wake up and you need a big shit. So you have that big shit like in the morning. Yeah. Are you traveling up or are you staying in London that night? No, I'm gigging in Brighton and then straight after the gig I'm heading up to London to a hotel nearby. Wow, wow. I'm quite nervous about it. I don't know if you can tell I've got, they call it, I think they call it maranoia. Sort of the anxiety anxiety you know what I'd say is enjoy it and ride the wave. Yeah, thank you What you what you wearing by the way what now? No, no, no, obviously I can see you

I mean on Sunday when you come to the marathon Oh, you know what I'm thinking is I'll probably just be lurking around the running stations and not the running said the water stations I'd love everyone to go fuck it. I think it because up until? Because up until about two minutes ago you didn't know they existed so I'm amazed that was your plan. You know I could go out with a plan quickness well I'd be great in the army right. I'm not hand-aborted for these things right. I'd like to be like someone who can go fucking out of the marathon and say oh did you stop at water station 8? There's a fucking guy there who's having such a laugh. Yeah. That would be one of my dreams. Unfortunately he just keeps turning up and smashing for all the water.

It's a bit annoying for the runners. He's the most hydrated person there. And then he's pissing everywhere as well because he's drunk so much water. I've drunk so much water. Do you know what? One of the things I regret massively in life at the moment is I haven't got the minerals to run that, especially with my tone now, run the marathon. But what I do think I'd be amazing at is picking people's spirits up. Like a water station or like a positive thinking hub, like as people are going past and they're starting to feel like.

Yeah, I actually, you know, normally I sort of listen to what you're saying and kind of pick holes in it. I couldn't really take the piss out of that. You are quite a motivational. Yeah. You'd be quite good at that. Yeah, offering hugs, like sort of rubbing your head and going, fucking, you've got this, bro.

Yeah. Or like, come on, sister, smash it. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you're not this bro. Or like, come on sister, smash it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you're not done yet. You've got more fucking fire in that belly. Let me tell you, here's another water. That sort of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I get it.

I do think you'd be good at it. The tide of goodwill is coming for you. It's coming for you in the guise of a man called Tom. Hmm, yeah, okay. Yeah, that's good. So what's going on with your time anyway? Mate, it's it's been like I'm in agony. Well, not gonna lie. Togay is like you've got a marathon. I was gonna be in a

very serious golf tournament this week. A very serious golf tournament. It's inaugural shit golfers Tommy Powers birthday week golf. Are you not doing it now? I'm not sure if I can make it. This is very much like Beckham or Rooney before the big tournament where their metatarsals gone. I've just done a month for the back of two gigs. Aren't you supposed to be going away for this?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But at the moment I don't know if I can play. It's heartbreaking because I've been looking forward to this for months. But like, I will tell you now, I had no idea how painful hurting your toes. Right. But you know, when like these things happen to like footballers and they're like, oh, it's a toe. And then you're like, oh, man, like it's genuine agony. And you know what? In the last three days I reckon my cortex, I can't go my ice plunger which I feel quite, it's not great for my head

because I've got addicted to the feeling of cold water surrounding my body. Mine's arrived by the way, I haven't used it yet but it's here. Get in this week, just get your ill, restore your body. I'm going to. Can you do me a little video of you in it? No, no I don't think so. That'd be amazing. Just a little video of you in it. No, no, I don't think so Oh, but it'll be amazing. Just a little video of you No, but what I don't want to do is you then stick it up on your stories

I do everything else in your life wrong wrong. I'm not gonna do that. Yeah, I would never do that Yeah, that would just be for me and my thought of love. All right, okay. That's disgusting, but anyway, go on So you said look you see you dropped the weight on your toe, it was horrible. I mean you sent me the photo, I've now seen since that you've shared that photo and it's not that photo. A lot of people have asked for that photo. I would still have resisted to be honest with you, particularly after I saw the photo, I thought that did not need sharing. Yeah but a lot of people have asked and a lot of people were openly quite disgusted,

but people were messaging quite frequently to see this picture of the toe. I mean, if I'm honest with you, it looks more disgusting now than it did in that picture. It looks more disgusting than that? Yeah, yeah. Because it looked absolutely hideous in that picture. Yeah, it's really not looking good.

And I'm genuinely worried. It looks like you got a frostbite or something. Yeah, yeah, that's the way. Which, but mate, I feel cold the whole time. It's like my body core temperature's just dropped. I can't, I feel tired. I feel like physically and emotionally drained. I'm not sure I'm going today to see a doctor.

Hold on, have you been to a doctor yet? No? Yeah, yeah, I have, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and what did the doctor say? Well, he said it's broken down, like I've got a fracture down the right side of it. Okay. But like now I'm like,

literally, like I've just done these two gigs, Shout Out Oxford and Hayes, and in both of them, before I was going on stage, like, my tour manager, Ali, was like, you're, you've, all of your, I sort of chatted with him, sort of, I feel cold,, I felt cold and he felt my hands and they were ice cold. Like, and he was like, and I just all the time, I was like, I slept in like this last night in a hoodie.

Did you? Yeah, I just can't get, my core temperature's just gone. Was your core temperature gone when you spoke to your doctor? No, no, no, this has happened since probably... So it's a new symptom? Yeah. So are you gonna, who are you seeing today? I'm seeing the doctor today, same doctor, I'm gonna say... Are you gonna

tell him? Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna show you something's going on here, something's amiss. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I mean... Well as long as you get yourself sorted out little Tommy. The only thing that's really hot in my body at the moment is my toe. You could fry an egg on my toe now. Were you able to, I mean, that was absolutely disgusting. I'm trying to move on from it. Were you able to deliver your stand in comedy? Yeah, I mean, the trouble is with, I had painkillers just before.

Actually, last night in Hayes, I'd say the opening five, 10 minutes were sort of like, very like, I was in agony, and then the painkillers kicked in and You know the show is a lot more fun after that as you're aware. It's got a physical show I'm also we went to I went to the um screening of bluey yesterday Yeah, I saw that on your Instagram. Yeah, how was it? Yeah, I Was I think it's by the way a genius show, Bluey.

It's just incredible. I was nearly crying at the end, but I just held it together. It's a wonderful episode. The sign. I think everyone in life should just be told to watch Bluey, by the way. We'd have less problems as a society if we all sat around and watched episodes of Bluey. I went to watch at the weekend while I was in I spent the weekend in Sheffield. Lovely Sheffield. Shout out to Sheffield. Great audiences for me this week Tom. Liverpool, Sheffield and then last week Glasgow. Everyone's lovely. Yeah you're talking about three ultimate cities there.

I was in Sheffield at the same weekend that Take That were Oh, wow. Did you link up with Gary and the boys? I didn't actually I didn't realize Have you met Gary Barlow? No, I've never met him. Have you met him? No. No, I'm a Robbie guy. Yeah, I actually once Talked about this but when I was doing it still lives on, you know, we were all getting sort of desperate in the pandemic This podcast. Yeah, so I did an ita Live and then I got a message from Robbie Williams saying, can I jump on your Insta? And then I said, yeah. And he just came onto my Insta Live and started having a chat with me. It's bizarre.

The numbers started like absolutely skyrocketing because Robbie Williams had jumped onto it. And then loads of people started, in my fucking thing, by the way, they'd been brought to the Insta Live by Robbie signing on and then going who the hell is this guy I sort of trying to talk to Robbie while I'm just getting fucking absolutely hammered in the comments yeah yeah but he was very what a nice bloke he's lovely so but was take that fever still I mean which is in an actual illness I should say but take that fever still, I mean which is in a natural awareness I should say, but take that fever was a big thing when we were kids. Was that like, was it still everestcent in that, in Sheffield that week? Was it still what? Everestcent. What is that? Everestcent?

Yeah, was it still? Evident? No, everestcent is like, is it, was it still like, yeah like evident but was it still sort of floating around and could you still feel that, that feeling of? No, no, like evident, but was it still sort of floating around? And could you still feel that that feeling of no, no, no. Who's it say that now? Is it Howard? This is the third minute, Howard, Gary and Mark. Who's the other guy in? Who's Robbie? Jason. Is Jason being ostracized now? He's been kicked out. I think Jason's like, well, whether he's been ostracized or not, he's not in it. I mean, I was under the impression he'd left, but they often say that, don't they? Jason and Howard, it's such a strange thing, because neither of them really sang. They just sort of like, I mean, Jason was phenomenally good looking.

I'd say Jason was probably, when I was younger, I'd look at Jason. Howard's pretty, I mean, none of them are really not good looking, are they? Yeah, I think Mark's cute. Yeah. Mark would be, if I was going to pick one of them, probably to be my best mate that I confide secrets in, would be Mark. So Gary's in because he writes his songs, right? And he's a good singer.

And he's a good singer. And he's not a bad looking bloke. Look, the way I see it is, right, Mark is the guy you confide in. Yeah. Great roommate on a stag, right? Howard, I think, is probably quite a laugh. Sort of big, sort of sweet soul. Probably me and him would clash a bit

because we've got similar in some ways, I think. Are you? Yeah. Then you've got Jason, who's a good looking one, handsome as fuck. And then you've got Gary. If I'm going to be honest with you, I always think about it as a pub.

If I get there early and it's just Gary Barlett, get me and Gary there. Conversation is not... I'll try my hardest, but I think me and Gary, I don't think we'd get on great. Do you know what I mean? Why not? I don't know. I just think he'd look down his nose at me. I don't think he'd... I try really hard. He'd know that I'd be trying too hard. He's fucking quite... You and Gary, I think would be quite cool together.

But you'd probably be a bit like me and yeah. You and Gary I think would be quite cool together. But you'd probably be a bit like me and Howard, you'd clash because like... It's, it's, what I would say to you is, what is impressive is how your sort of character assassinations in me are getting more complicated as we move through. There was, there was genuinely, there's a few moments there when I thought, oh we were having a real conversation, but actually no, it was once again, it was you manoeuvring yourself into a position where you deliver a fucking dick slam to me. And they're getting better, they're getting better. I was in the moment, I was listening to your conversation, I was in there, and then what I did was I just basically exposed my soft underbelly for a fucking absolute gut punch from you

So Take that It's sheffield and I had the wonderful experience of going so my tour manager the wonderful. Gracia. Bella His niece Marisa Abella, is playing Amy Winehouse in Back to Black. So I had the honor of sitting with Grazio as he watched his niece in the movie for the first time. And also, watching somebody, and look, I was able to experience this with you. You know, watching you go through the process, you know, when you were in one car, being at the premiere and all that sort of stuff and seeing you mixing it and doing the sort of Tide and Fury thing on the red carpet.

Yeah, yeah. She wasn't doing any of that on guaranteed. No. She's very cool. She's,. You know some people just slip into being a movie star really naturally and she's amazing man but she is like, because I watched her in what's it called Suits I think it was the thing she did before which was really good I think it was Suits I don't remember now it was a long time ago but she's phenomenal and now she's literally away. I haven't seen the film, everyone says she's phenomenal right? Yeah she is great. And then watching Gratz, Gratz we were driving

through Liverpool and then Gratz saw her on like a massive billboard thing. It's just so sweet. He's so proud and rightly so. Yeah yeah what I would say is I did order a large, and this is bad for Marathon, obviously. I'm not really. I ordered a massive, not a massive, large popcorn. As in the biggest they did. And I had eaten it, most of it, before the film had started. You must be roughing us. No, but that's bad. I mean, I'll be honest with you, part of me

was hoping you were going to say, yeah, of course you would. But even you looked shocked now. No, I'm sure you did. Yeah, I mean, I try and ration it I like the fact that you can get halfway to a three quarters for a movie if you've got popcorn left I think everyone in this sort of and you're eating it then people like he knows what he's doing. Have you ever gone for a second bag? Yeah yeah good mate I quite a lot of time that I go to cinema I'll be sitting there I'll have

all of my popcorn my drink some pick-a-mix and I won't be able to relax as is the way my break I'll sit there and go I should have ordered some nachos and I say to Catherine I should order some nachos shouldn't I? She'll go oh for fuck's sake and I'll go I need I need I can't watch this film without nachos and she's like the film's about to start and I'll be like No, okay. So then I just it's a sprint to the yeah I've done it in Crawley cinema quite a few times as call you is where you go go down the stairs Isn't if you're one of the more luxurious suites?

Sprint down get some nachos if there's a queue. I'm like fucking Foot to foot just fucking anxious get my nachos and then sometimes get a small popcorn so I'm like fuck if I get back and I don't want to make this fucking journey again. The worst bit that can happen in the cinema is when you go too heavy in on your drink. What do you mean? Oh what early doors? Early doors. You're gonna need these two pisses taken in there kind of fluid and also there's nothing worse than getting sort of three quarters away And you still got popcorn left those horrible. I will say this actually about popcorn right when you're

2024 why are we still having the fucking horrible bit pithy bits at the bottom? You know the bits that sort of just no good to man or beast What you suggesting they do about that? I don't know, there's got to be a filter system. There has to be. We've got to start thinking outside the box when it comes to this. Well, the problem with your suggestion there is that that is going to make it more expensive for them to produce popcorn and they're not going to do that. Yeah, but... If you're filtering out popcorn, you know the pithy little bits? Yeah.

If they stop including those, it becomes a lot more expensive for them, doesn't it? If you're filtering out popcorn, you know the pithy little bits? Yeah. If they stop including those, then it becomes a lot more expensive for them, doesn't it? I will tell you this, right? I remember being in it, I'd ordered a large popcorn, I remember looking at the bottom of my barrel of popcorn, right? I remember looking at the bottom and there was, I reckon, 30 unexploded kernels in there. 30, what was it? No fucking way.

Mate, there was loads of them, I'm right. And then I just, I'm so ravenous for popcorn I just start putting those in my mouth and sucking the salt or sweet off. That's the thing that's well I mean first of all that was sad but second of all that's a dangerous game eating the kernels. You're playing fast. I'm sucking them. I'm sucking them. Just sucking them and then doing what? Spitting them in my drink. Spitting them back in the box?

No, no, it's my drink. Fucking hell, what the fuck is wrong with you? No, I spit it back into my drink holder. I'm not putting them back where I want them to be, because then I might put them back in my mouth. You know, like, you have all these other things. Sucking the kernels in the first place is absolutely... It is hideous.

Mate, if I get to the bottom and I'm like, I need to get my money's worth, I've paid like 20 quid for a large popcorn or whatever it is, I'm insane. And did you feel a sense of satisfaction that you got your money's worth when you sucked the salt off the kernels of popcorn? Did you feel a sense of pride? Look, I'm going to tell you now, I don't feel like I'm winning, I feel like I've broken even. I feel like, look, at least I'm getting some flavour out of these kernels. I mean it's just unjust and I feel sorry for the kernels that didn't explode because they, yeah, what a waste of a life. Me too. They ended up just being sort of gummed

and sucked by you before being spat into a drinks container. You know, if you're a little popcorn kernel waiting to see what happens with your life, I feel like that might be the worst way to go. Watching everyone around you just explode into a lovely fluffy bit of popcorn. The bits, how come the bits at the top are always so fluffy? Because then it's not always the bits at the top, they just mix it and put it in, but the small bits were obviously just settling at the bottom of the thing, because they're smaller. It's one thing I just wish society, well, I mean there's a few other things, but it's

one of the things I just wish that we could deal with. Yeah, and what is, I mean you try to cover yourself up there, but the truth is there are some things that if people were asking you to rank them in terms of what you'd want sorted out, sorting out the popcorn would be horrifyingly high to the point where you might get cancelled for how high up on your list of priorities. At the sacrifice of other things that other people would think is more important. What's that, child poverty? Yeah, no, sure, don't get me wrong, that's upsetting.

But, you know. You have a set of cinema, mate. Should we do an email? Should we do an email? Should we do an email, I would say? Hold on, Hold on one second, hold on one second, my G. God, I can't get to it. I can't get to it. Is this one done, these?

Yeah, but I don't know where we are with these. We need to get on top of these a bit more, actually. It's the one format point we've got, we've managed to let this get away from us. Bear with me one second, my G. I'll tell you what's happened at the moment. Theo, our eldest, We've managed to let this get away from us. Bear with me one second, my G. I'll tell you what's happened at the moment. Theo, our eldest, has got, and you've got this in your future with little Gracie.

Not for a while, though. He's doing his mock GCSEs. Well, I was once doing an exam, right? I was getting dropped off to do the site exam. I can't remember what it was for, and my dad was dropping me off, and he was so nervous, I looked at him, and he was like, just found it, he looked really like distraught as he looked at me,

and my mum told me later on that the reason he looked so distraught is because he couldn't handle seeing me that nervous, right? And I'd always thought that was a weird thing. It's a real sweet thing, that was well, it's a really sweet thing. My mom told me later on that the reason he looks so distraught is because he couldn't handle seeing me that nervous, right? And I'd always thought that was a weird thing It's really straight until this morning when I saw how nervous Theo was for his mock exams Like he's worked his ass off the hallway through the holidays I found myself in an unusual position of trying to tell my son

It doesn't it doesn't matter as much as he thinks it does. I'm trying to just calm him down. Seeing your kids nervous like that is horrible. I don't like it at all. And also he's in a situation where whatever you say you might have got to... but there's some situations where they're in this situation and you're trying to calm them down and really nothing you say is going to make it any better. That's quite horrible. Anyway, that's quite a difference. Literally, it's just a shout out to Theo. I'm sending my wishes and thoughts to him. Okay, I'll let him know.

I've thrown it into the ether, but it might be there for him. If he says to you, like, oh, I felt like a real sense of positivity at like 753, it just sort of came over me. Yeah, maybe like, yeah. It would be quite, you know what could be quite good if it was like an American high school film is that you'd sprint to the school now, which is he's going in, you just grab him and go, you've got this, and even if you don't think you have got it, even if you think you're up against it,

I'm going to be proud of you anyway. And you give him a lot of massive kiss and just let him go into the room. That was what would happen in like a sort of, it was crazy. Yeah, it's a really nice idea. Really nice. Okay, this is from the Pistuff Puffin.

Well. My husband and I were at Romesh's gig in Liverpool last night on a very rare date night It was a great night. We laughed until it Thinks it was great night. We lost it hurt the evening was somewhat marred though by the absolutely egregious Manspreading on the part of the man sitting next to me for context I'm pretty small so don't tend to tend to take up a lot of space and For context, I'm pretty small, so I don't tend to take up a lot of space. Including my neighbour took that as an invitation to occupy the entirety of my seat in addition to his. As the evening progressed and more beer was consumed, he encouraged further and at one point he put both feet together up on the seat in front of him

and let his knees fully drop to the sides, which meant he took up over half my seat and one of his knees was practically in my face. The more I moved over, the more of my space he invaded. I spent the latter half of the show squashed against my husband. But if he took that as a sign he was on a promise, listening to my rant against the patriarchy for the duration of the journey home soon killed any passion for the poor man.

Do you have any experience of manspreading? Are you guilty of it? Or is this something men seem to only do to women? My husband says he's never been a victim of it If you'd like if you've been in my shoes, would you have said something? Would you've done what I did and folded yourself like human origami just to avoid confrontation with a stranger? I'd love to hear what you think yours are pissed off puffing Tom Davis Number one, I think that's very uncouth and not good behavior and this person should be ashamed of themselves

Seems like they're really just, yeah, they're taking a piss really there and I feel for the puffing, the pissed off puffing. I will say that I think there's times in my life as a, essentially what is a giant, that I feel that I will sit on a chair and even without manspreading I will take up probably more than my allotted room without even, you know, just because I don't think chairs and areas are necessarily made for myself. Like I will never sit down on a tube anymore, just because if it gets busy, I know that probably a certain parameter of my ass cheek on either side is pushing on to fucking the

next seat. Sometimes I like I try and check myself if I sit down. I do try and check myself that I'm not spreading out more than I should be. A lot of that makes me look like Will Ferrell and Elf when he sat at that little table and his knees are really high up. I sort of tend to get that sort of feeling. I've also, at football, I've been in situations where it feels that someone else is spreading out more than they're allowed time. I think sometimes that's a bit more of a like, toxicality of like trying to sort of intimidate sometimes. I think that could be a thing. But yeah, naturally I know that there's been times in my life though that I probably not spread out but but my just sheer size has meant that someone sitting near me

or around me has gone off for fuck's sake I see people's heads drop when they say I'm gonna sit next to them like you know and then I sort of look like I'm gonna sit down and you know I've got a plane's coming to land but then goes back up I'm like that I'm like oh yeah I don't want to ruin their journey and mine with them tightens I tend to sit that's really sad no no but I see it from their side of you as well like I see it as a thing what I do genuinely have a thing of like I look at it and be like I don't want this to be a shit journey because I don't you've I'm very aware like in my size that comes with a certain you, sometimes people can be quite just intimidated by it,

you know? Have you, are you a man, I mean, you're not, I'd say you're a very respectful sitter. I've seen you sit in places. You're almost like a snail when you sit. But you just sort of huddle up into it. Like. Yeah, well, I did think that about myself. And one of the things that I did sort of start doing is, I kind of, I, look, I just, I did think that about myself and one of the things that I I did sort of start doing is

I kind of I like just I did I said how you've just sat that down there right one leg over the other which Theo Pointed out to me is quite He sort of said it's not it's it's not an attractive way to sit as we pointed It's me of a bit, sort of like nervous businessman. You know what I'm talking about? Like that sort of. Really sort of. It's really bad for your hips and your back as well. Is it? Anyway, I did, the last time I did Jonathan Ross,

I think it was Jonathan Ross or something like that, somebody commented on my photo that I was manspreading. I'd always thought of myself as somebody that wouldn't ever manspread because I I just don't it's not in my nature I don't want to do it. It's something I feel horrible knowing that I had done But I was guilty of it. It turns out somebody commented saying That on this on the couch. I was sort of being a bit manspready Imagine you manspread it well apparently I was

Really felt shit about it to minister there. Yeah, do I know any yeah? Yeah I mean, I'm friends with manspreaders, you know, yeah, not exclusively, but you know, I know a couple of them and Is it I do think it is a I don't want to general generalise, but it's sort of a gender thing. Some men feel like it's, I believe, some men feel like it's an assertion of masculinity to sort of sit with your legs quite wide apart. Yeah, I think it's almost like risk, because you're at a board game risk.

Sort of like, you know, sort of taking over other entities and properties. Yeah, it's a bit, when I was a teacher, this is it, by the way, I don't agree with this. It's a very old school way of looking at things. But you know, if you talked to a kid, if you did something, one of the things that somebody told me, like they've been teaching for years and years and years,

is if you're talking to a kid and you stand at their desk and then you move something of theirs as you're talking to them. So like say I come and stand in front and talk to your Desk and then I move your ruler from one side of this the other That message that's getting sent to you is that I own this entire space right is that I am in control of this area that that's like a Non-verbal cue that you are in my house. Do you know me? That's kind of what that does, right? Which are you know?

I don't I don't know how convinced I am of that as a good, as a good thing to do to a kid that you're teaching. But anyway, the reason I mention it is because I think that's kind of what man-spreading is a bit like. It's a bit like pissing in the corner of the, yeah, it's like pissing on a bush, isn't it? This is my area. Your brother's not a man spreader but your brother's very good at allotting space to himself. He'll mark out his territory. Yeah, yeah, he's very like, we've shared like a lot, you know, car journeys, you shared like dressing room. Like I think you and me, I'm very... And he's doing that to the, I mean the fact that you've noticed that suggests that it's a problem. I mean the fact that you've noticed that suggests it is a problem. It's not a problem.

You've noticed it. I'm a reader of human people, like you know human people. I know but I find it interesting because he's very, he's probably more like me than you in a lot of ways in the basis that like I've done a lot of car journeys with you, I'd say you're probably one of the most respectful passengers I've ever been in a car with. I think you're genuinely a credit to humanity when you're in a car. I think like, you know, you cheat the car. Your brother, shoes are offered in seconds

of being in a car. Shoes are kicked off. No shit's given. You're a liar. No, I swear, I adore it. I think it's amazing. I think that is so comfortable. I'm sorry.

No, you were poor opposites. You, it's amazing. I think that you would do comfortable. I'm sorry You you were poor up at it you right? You will you in a car journey? Well, I've done quite a few with you you in a car journey at the start of the car journey in the end of the car journey Have the feeling you've just got in the car Even if we'd be like you're supposed to drive This is a friend you see you have the aura of a man who's never not number one been in a car before but also just got in at any point might have to get out in an emergency right whereas your brother gets in and it is like okay right I'm gonna have a little area here for some snacks my shoes gonna come off

it's like oh yeah even if you go in 15 minutes down the road just I'm gonna relax here I'm gonna make the most of this 15 minutes. Yeah. Yeah. So you like that as kids? Were you like that as kids? It's not something I've noticed. But maybe. But listen, I'm not as great an observer of human people as you are, so who knows. But listen, Pissed Off Puffin, thank you so much for your, thank you so much for your, what I would say is that bloke is clearly a dickhead. Like, well no, he's not clearly a dickhead.

He might be, there might be other aspects of his life where he's an amazing bloke, but in that instance. But also I do think that it's up to someone that he's with just to say, man, fuck you know, what you doing? Look at the poor woman next to you. He might be on his own. Yeah, so good luck to you. But I think you're in the right.

And yeah, it's just a bit shit, isn't it? Should we do one more time, Odie? Let's do one more, let's do one more, Jay. Okay, this is from the unassuming orangutan. Dear Wolf, Owl, Cat and Swan, I'm a long time listener since back in the COVID days. Without fail, your show is always laugh out loud funny, as well as genuinely heartwarming. It helps that the impressions that Wolf and Owl do of each other are hysterical. In fact I suggest an episode where each plays the other for the duration. I for one would love to hear that either that or a detective spinoff show I'll have midnight caller from back in the

day where after the show the wolf and owl are out solving crime. Well I think it'd be unusual for Tom to make the decision to rip off some of his own work but I'm writing as like the owl I'm running the marathon this year also my first and also for charity. Congratulations. Well, it's safe to say I've never been close to athletic or sporty. But last year I signed up to run the marathon as a way of saying thank you and raising funds for Great Wall Street who helped my daughter come through major heart and lung surgery when she was a baby. Oh, well,

that's great. Training has been a bit of a godsend in a way as the past eight months my girlfriend and I split up I've been made redundant lost my home, oh man, and since had to move in with family to save funds and keep supporting my children, it has been harder for me to see now. I've been at work for a few months, savings have run out, and I've started to despair

in a so toxic environment where I'm staying and I'm miles away from any friends and feeling very alone. The marathon is something I've been looking forward to in a perverse way, but also dreading, as when I complete it, I just don't know what I I'll do next I've heard that runners can have a big emotional crash after facing an event such as this and the thought fills me with dread I do have bipolar and depression do all things I can to manage this it feels like things are building to a head and it really scares me any thoughts the

Wiley wolf and all seeing Al could offer a much appreciated their friendship is something truly unique and I wish I have something like that in my life many thanks the unassuming orangutan Tommy Tommy Day. Well firstly sorry to hear about your um yeah the spin of your mission and the turn that life has taken. Firstly I think it's incredible that you're running a marathon and pushing yourself to do this. I will say that someone who, myself, and I know Romesh struggles with certain elements of mental health, it's always very difficult not to, but like not to try and, I myself and Romesh should have more idea about this, but I look at like the end of my tour's coming.

It's not that far away. And there's a part of me that looks at that. And as much as like it's been like quite difficult at times at all, and it comes at you. So, yeah, I do look at it, it's become a very, like I've spent 18 months now performing this and making the show into what it is. As a part of me that actually quite worries

about what happens when the show is over and that thing that because it has there's been a lot of pressures and mental sort of you know I worry slightly about you know what's going to be what's it going to what's going to happen after that like you know I've got into a habit now of of going out on stage and enjoying that and And it being and I think looking at what what you yourself in the marathon and I guess that you've put with everything you've been put through, you put more than it's more than a physical thing. It's a massive emotional thing.

Number one, like you need to give yourself as much credit as you possibly can on the basis that you're doing something incredible and you're doing something amazing. You're doing it for a cause that really matters and everything that your great woman, Street, have done for you and your daughter and your family is amazing. I'd say that you need to make sure that you give yourself as much credit as you possibly can for taking yourself from somewhere in through you know, in through all of this, this tough times and to see you've done something really, really positive with it. So make sure I think that you give yourself a pat on the back

and you're a good friend to yourself. I think it's then trying to look for, whilst celebrating that, another challenge and make that challenge something. It doesn't have to even be massive. It's sort of like, you know, just look at how you're going to get through a day and be like, you know, a little bit happier day to day or find ways of just being a little bit positive. I've genuinely been where you are. I've been in that situation of, you know, having to move back in with parents and I know how hard that is and how that can almost sort of eat away

your soul just because it's just a very, very difficult place to be. And I think you've just got to start in baby sets of rebuilding sides of your life. You're clearly a good person and dealing with the mental health issues that you've got and you sort of have bipolar and depression. yeah, they're difficult but I'd also try and find yourself, and this is I think a thing that, you know, me and Ramesh should both do a lot for mental health charities. I'm very proud to do stuff for Calm or for the NHS and talk about this but I'm also aware that it's a bit, I'm blessed that I have Ramesh in my life and without a say, I know that, you know bit I'm blessed that I have Romesh in my life and without a set line, I know that

you know I don't want to get too much but I know when that time comes and my tour's over and I need somewhere to lean and I need someone there for me I know that you know the person on the other end of this Romesh will be that person I lean to because he's always there for that and hopefully I did that for him but I'm aware that we're blessed to have that with each other and it worries me a little bit is me and Romesh are very much at the forefront of open conversation and opening up and talk to someone and speak to someone. But it really saddens me at times when I actually,

you realize that not everyone has that in their life. I'm lucky that I do in Romesh and vice versa, hopefully, feels the same. But I think what we need to try and do is try and work out a way that there is more support. And I'm not talking about because therapy is expensive as well. And it's a really difficult thing to go to people just go to therapy and talk.

But when you're in a situation, you can't afford that. That's a really difficult thing. So it's just try now to work out a place that we can actually go work. Where's the safe space and people can be vulnerable. And it is I look for a long time struggled to go, oh, you know, just talk about how you feel. It's not easy just to walk into a pub or some scenario when you meet up with your mates, you just go, oh yeah, this is how I feel, bosh, because people aren't always going to be there and people aren't always going

to understand. So I just think we need to cultivate that a little bit more because it's very easy just to go, well, this is a a cure for something but we don't quite know what the medicine is and I think hopefully as time grows but look man if you are struggling and you ever want to reach out and I mean this like make sure like when you've done a marathon stay in touch with myself or Rom like an email let us know you've done and anything and I know Rom is incredible that, and anything we can do to help you afterwards, man, just reach out, and good luck on Sunday. Go smash it for yourself, for Graham on the street, and for your little one.

Good luck, Ron. I'll assume in orangutan, I would echo everything Tom said there. And over and above that, I would say that, look, the truth is that you've gone for a very difficult time, and I know it won't feel like that at the moment, but things will get better. They really, really will.

You just have to allow yourself to believe that. But at the moment, I think when things go like that, you have to accept that you're going to feel shit for a while, and that's part of your process. That's part of all of our processes when stuff gets tough. But what I would say is, you know, what you've said in this email is that training for the marathon has been a godsend. And so there isn't really a reason why the marathon should signal the end of that journey.

I mean, there's no reason, I'm not suggesting that you immediately sign up for another marathon, but there's running clubs and stuff like that. There's, you know, there's suggesting that you immediately sign up for another marathon, but there's running clubs and stuff like that. There's ways you can carry on doing that. If this has been a coping strategy for you, then I think that's something you should be doing more of.

It might be running, it might be you might decide you're going to take on another challenge. You might decide you're going to do something else. I'm not saying that's what you're going to do instead of having a relationship or whatever but I Feel like that, you know doing that might be something that temporarily is a bit of a and maybe then the long term is like a coping thing for you and something that you you start turning to so Don't I wouldn't say that see the marathon as an end You know the marathon running a marathon is a celebration of all the training that you've done And then there's no reason why that has to be the close of it.

You can keep on running, you can keep on doing it. Give yourself another target, give yourself another goal. Maybe you want to do it again, but get a faster time or whatever, I don't know. But don't see these things as a close. See these things as an opening to something else. And look, both of us, very sad for you that you've gone through such a tough period.

But things will get better and we'll wish you all the very best. Please do keep in touch. So yeah. You know, you feel like an emotional sort of like... I feel very blessed there, that I got you there. Because it is hard, isn't it, man? I feel right for that guy there. He'll find something. I know he will, but you there. Yeah, he'll find someone.

I don't know who will, but you have that thing, didn't you, when you realise quite how, I think maybe that's what the end of the show is today. But it's like taking stock in the smallness of it all, isn't it? Taking stock and realising that sometimes when you have got a friend like that, maybe you shouldn't be spending your whole time

constructing elaborate ways to insult them, do you know what I mean? I do that through affection, because I adore you my lovely. All right, Tommy, do you want to take us out of this, my G? Curtains and doors, windows. Thing is, with a door when it's closed, unless you have one of those posh glass ones with reinforced glass that cost a load of money, it's hard to see through them unless you open them. But sometimes even though you have windows in your houses, you don't even look out of them. Sometimes you're too consumed by the things in your house. Televisions, Xboxes, phones. But actually one of the most refreshing things you can do

is just looking out the window, looking at what the world's doing outside. And then thinking, hmm, maybe I'll step out there. Maybe I'll open the door. Opening a door is a simple act, but it can actually be a big move. Walking outside, taking a hit of that sweet, sweet air that's out there.

Whether it's that stagnant, rainy air that just sort of smells of wet dogs or is that hot air where you go, God there's going to be bees and bugs and flies, nay less, nature could be a motherfucker. But the truth of the matter is actually getting out and being amongst it is one of the best things in life. And sometimes it's really easy to think, well, I'm out here just on my own, just a a voyage a bit like Neil Armstrong when he was on the moon and he was the only one who dared step out But he wasn't alone the world was watching him and I guess that's the thing we need to do in society every time someone steps Out of their home remind yourself that you don't want anyone to be alone remind themselves that a journey on your own Yeah Can be difficult can be difficult, can be

tough. So if you're running the marathon this week and you're out there and you see someone struggling, make sure to give them a pat on the back and say you've got this, we've got this, we're doing this together. It's a team effort, yeah, we're all straddlers, individuals, all looking for the best time. But actually what society needs right now is an hour around the shoulder And you don't need to be running the marathon if you see someone struggling during the day whether it's work It's a friend or whatever. Just remember to extend an arm a good word a Caring smile because that goes a long way and don't be creepy with it because creepiness isn't going to place in society

My point is this we all need to do a little bit better at being us. Let's let ourselves grow, let's open up, let's rock out and remember one thing. You've got a friend doing a marathon, text him on Sunday morning and say, hey friend, you fucking got this. Thank you very much Tom. Let's uh, in tribute to uh to Gracia and Marisa Rubella. Should we do a little bit of Valerie, Amy Winehouse? Oh man, and sing along to this baby. Yeah absolutely, well I think we're only going to play 15 seconds but enjoy that. Thank you so much for listening, we will see you next time on This little podcast we like to call the wolf

Now take care If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.