Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 27: Friday Bonus & Love Tickets

Episode Date: May 31, 2024

At last, a long promised bonus episode to ease you into the weekend. So it’s straight onto your emails, which this week are about idiot hecklers, Tom’s music tastes, concerning TikTok algorithms, stand-up show ticket swaps, a case of mistaken identity and more thoughts on Tom’s free ‘rail pass of love’ idea. Plus, a massive shout out to Michael Hutchinson for compiling this ‘Romesh Recommends’ Spotify Playlist. which compiles almost every track that Rom’s ended the pod with. Listen here: Romesh Recommends Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are coming to the Sheffield live show of The Wolf and Owl on Sunday, please could you send in any emails you'd like for consideration on the show? If you email wolfowlpod.gmail.com and put Sheffield in the subject heading, we will put those together and maybe we will address your thing, slash issue, slash question, slash delivery of trivia. Thank you! Because the Skip app saves you so much time by delivering stuff like your favorite cool treats, groceries, and bevies, you get more time to have the best summer ever. Like riding roller coasters, learning to water ski. Ah! Applying sunscreen to your dad's back.

Ah! Yup, definitely the best summer ever. Squeeze more summer out of summer with Skip. Did somebody say skip? Everyone's got a thirst, a drive to be the next big thing, to put the world on notice. If you answer when your thirst calls, Sprite's for you. Sprite's for the makers and creators, the visionaries putting in the work to build their dreams. Whether you're shooting a cinematic

masterpiece on your phone, filling notebooks with sketches, or up all night turning your bedroom into the booth, thirst is everything. Obey your thirst. Right. to steady your nerves then podcast the body parts get severed and served bring your weak shit wear the wolf and owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows fuck their censorship let them see the whole thing they stay dressed to kill never sheep's clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all you hear is a half a puff and a expect killings Red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men

Dressed up as a bird and a dog Welcome to the Wolf and Al bonus episode Wow, finally a bonus episode It's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus We're bonus-ing up inside the place We're bonus-ing up inside the place It's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's a bonus, it's am. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm.

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It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. It's a bonus episode of the Wolf and Elm. You can't see it on my floor. I have exactly like a bag of laundry like that on the floor of my room Yeah, I've got I've got two days off the list of jobs that are required for this two days is This is so it's astronomical okay, let's do it This is a message for Tom. Well from the pesky Pesky polecat This specifically for Tom as he mentioned is disdain for the bellend who interrupted his flow during his show at the Scarborough Spa in the last podcast. So, regular this, as we know, that Tom was heckled in Scarborough,

and he detailed the, what's happening to me? Why have I gone so formal? He detailed the- You've become very sort of, yeah, sort of 90s, 80s. The facts of that story in the last episode of the podcast. I went with my wife for our 10 year anniversary and even though Tom was rightly pissed off, we both thought he dealt with the situation brilliantly, with honesty and humour. What Tom failed to mention is that he dealt with him so well that not a peep was heard from the toilet liquor for the rest of the show. We've been to many shows at the spa,

and we'd love to say that this thing never happens. But after seeing Adam Rowe, Paul Smith, Sean Walsh, Dara O'Brien, it seems that there's, I mean, they've definitely got to type comedy-wise, haven't they? It seems there's a fraction of people that seem to think it is their right to interrupt a wonderfully crafted show. Possibly the same sort that shat horrendous and abusive sporting events because I paid for my ticket.

If you missed Scarborough off your next tour They wouldn't blame you, but we both agreed there was it's an exceptional show And I've got that pain in the back of my head from laughing too hard for too long Thank you very much in terms of the frying pan shagger that shouted out. Have you heard that before no No, no, no, I might be being a frying pan sugar. Oh, okay. My normally chilled wife whispered to me, **** are going to be **** wherever they may be. Wow. So please don't think it's spoiled the show, your reaction elevated it. All the best

of both of your future tour dates and may they be **** free. Look forward to seeing you. I'm in Hull very soon. Babysits are permitting. Pesky polecat.. Oh well is that you in Hull suit? I'm in Hull yeah not not sold great Hull I would say I know Hulls alright there's one of them that hasn't Leeds. Leeds? If you're in Leeds or near Leeds. Don't see my boy Leeds. Please come to the fucking Leeds by the way is fucking unreal. Oh you just city variety isn't it? Yeah I did it on a Sunday night and like Sundays can be a little bit Leeds on a Sunday night and like Sundays can be a little bit leads on a Sunday night was absolutely banging Up there. Yeah, it was incredible Okay

This is how desperate was it to watch your show I think I'm not to go to watch it do by That's where I'm gonna have to go and watch your show properly. I've seen it. I'll see work in progress, but yeah, so you've seen it now I want to see it properly, you know in an arena. It's an arena show. I want to fucking see it above a pub. When a small field would say it's an arena. It's my fucking boys done a fucking arena show. Anyway, all right. Next email. Okay. This is from Arctic care. Hey, Wolf, Al Catons one long time fan of the pod.

Loveless to you every week. You guys got me from dark times. Quick question. Rom often plays a banger to end out the show. I know he's a big hip hop fan, but interested in what Tom's music taste is. Mucho, it says muchos love Arcticare. Thank you for your email. Tom, we have talked a little bit about this, haven't we? But can you sort of, well first of all, I'd love to, on behalf of the Arctic Hair, get a little bit deeper into this if I may. Yeah. Now, music plays a big part of my life.

It's very rare that I'm not doing something where music is not accompanying. My question to you is, how often on a day-to-day basis are you actually listening to music? Quite a lot, yeah. I listen to music a lot when I'm writing. Okay. What sort of music do you put on when you're writing? It depends. I've just been writing a thing at the moment which is set in the 90s, so doing a deep dive into more indie stuff, I guess.

That kind of vibe. So when we were writing The Curse and it was set early 80s, you're taking a deep dive into more early 80s stuff. If you're writing King Gary it's probably a little bit more mainstream stuff. Yeah it depends. And then on a personal note, I quite enjoy, I love country music I quite enjoy a bit of country music What sort of artists are we talking about? Luke combs or something like Jordan Davis? Mm-hmm. I quite quite enjoy that sort of little vibe But then I love it. Kacey Musgraves, have you checked her out?

I know I will have a little try on it. You know what I love is I love ballads. I absolutely adore ballads I love is I love ballads. I absolutely adore ballads. I Love a big pump it I love a bit of pink if I'm sitting there and I'm lost in my way if I'm going for a walk or a bit of a jog Stick on a little bit of pink if I'm in the gym sometimes bit of Kelly Clarkson Leona Lewis is this real My taste is quite eclectic, you know, I Enjoy hip-hop. I'm not, I never, you know, I genuinely, quite a lot of the time,

I watch your post somewhere about an artist and I'll go, I'll have a listen to that album just because I respect your, you know, your knowledge and stuff and I can sit and listen to that. So yeah, it's quite a lot with anything. I sort of scatter and choose. Okay. Do you wanna choose a song for,

should we play out one of your songs today? Yeah, let's go with- What do you choose for now? Maybe The Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga. Okay, we'll go out with that. Oh, actually, while I do mention this, while we're on that topic, this is not an email but I do want to shout someone out. Um, pay with me one second. Oh yeah, this guy's a G. Ain't no reason me and you should be alone tonight, oh baby. tonight. Okay, here we go. This is from Michael Hutchinson. Okay, so big shout out to Michael

Hutchinson, who says, Hi guys, since series two of the podcast, Ramesh has been making some absolutely banging recommendations for music at the end of each episode. I had some time on my hands. This is amazing. So I've compiled a playlist of all of his recommendations on Spotify the playlist is called Ramesh recommends. Here's the link. Obviously just search Ramesh recommends on Spotify There's so many songs I can't believe he's done it Would it please possible for this week's musical outro to be set my heart on fire by majestic the jabbing kid Celine Dion as I believe It will be this year's summer hit. We'll put that on the next episode Okay, because we've got Tom's if I let's play a bit of both JT If you can mix them together and just make them a little pink.

Okay, just don't don't do a mix just uh, okay. Should we do the next email? Go go go. Okay. This is from Panda Pete. I'm gonna sort of edit as I go here because um, It's just very long. Hello Wolf Wolf and Al, swan dearest, and all of God's beautiful creatures. Oh, wow, so very good. You were talking about baby reindeer the other day and your TikTok war is really charmed with me. I'm a wannabe comedy writer.

I finished a few years back, a master's in comedy. I've been obsessed with TikTok from way back. I joined in 2018 when I started uni. At the start, if you're very clever, you could find great creators. But Covid put TikTok on full blast and that opened the floodgates to what you spoke about regarding Paul Breach, Ryan Windridge, Bevo etc. I've been obsessed with following people on TikTok. As a writer, it fascinates me how people function in a closed-off society, in its own world. As Tom mentioned, it's a lawless place, it shows how mad life is for many people.

There are well-known people on here, on there, who are exclusive only to a small part of TikTok. The key to get into these parts of the app is to curate your algorithm enough that you fall in. How hard is it to get out of a hole where there isn't anyone to help you? The number of studies they've done is about how easy it is to fall into the wrong rabbit holes.

The study suggests TikTok's loose guidelines, inaction and recommendation algorithm have the potential to contribute to an individual's radicalization process. The platform's recommendations after watching a thousand videos were increasingly radical in nature, in content and in tone, ultimately sending the profile into a cross-conspirational echo chamber. Does that make sense? I mean, that's pretty frightening.

I mean, it does make sense, doesn't it? Yeah, it makes complete sense. So if you start, for example, let's go, let's say you start getting a bit anti-immigration or something, and then you start looking at that TikTok, it'll give you more and more and more and then next year you radicalise. These people have huge fan bases, but they're exclusive to their own corner. Andrew Tate, for example, I know you're a big fan of his, Tom. HSTikki Tokki is the same sort of guy, but former under the radar.

Yeah, yeah, I was right. So he's interesting, because he's now essentially just pushing a pyramid scheme. Is he really? I don't know. I have seen him but I don't know. Mash Tag, have you come across Mash Tag? No I haven't no. Straight away on TikTok looking. Mash Tag is a creator from the north who is convicted of controlling behaviour and now does the same. Their fan base is widespread with young lads who think they're a laugh. I actually think this is quite dangerous. It really spoke to me because TikTok is the most clear and unburned and look at us as humans currently. Ron mentions gatekeepers that TV has.

But there is none of that on TikTok. It's out of control because accounts can just be made again after people get barred. So if someone's in a real bad situation, stopping them is near impossible. I hope this isn't too rambly, but how you spoke about it caught me. It feels like a place of its own that's invisible to most of the country. I've been listening for ages. You're both sweet sweet souls. All of you work to be massively influential. Lots of love, Panda Pete. Don't want to be impolite. It's influential, not influential. Who? What did I say? You said influential.

Massively influential growing up so it's a mispronunciation yeah I know you can I just say to my people get when people get words wrong it's not very polite to just humiliate them like that I wouldn't do that you got 300 sweet sweet if I would never I would never I would never do that to you don't shoot that's my job at spots on the school that's my job. Atspods, underscore, that's his TikTok. Atspods, I don't follow many people, I will follow. But that's, I mean I agree with most of that really. It's insane isn't it, it's madness.

It's a dangerous, dangerous place. And it's mad how your algorithm just will change. Like mine was just picking spots, I can't remember the last picking spots video I had that came up. I've got a lot of Red Dead Redemption, how to complete the game and how to find Bear's teeth and stuff in there. I don't even play that game, but I find it quite calming about watching other. I used to take the mic out of people watching and now I sit and watch those videos. Yeah, I mean I found auto-scrolling incredibly dangerous on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be awful.

I mean, it's a... Can I say, there's a guy who was in People Just Do Nothing, who's on there now, he's... Oh my God, I know exactly who you're talking about. Yeah, he's like a big presence on... He's a really good actor, by the way. Yes. Like a really, really, really good actor, George.

He's phenomenal. Like, he gets like a lot of like very horrible things. All of his TikToks seem to be responses to people that have said something like that. Yeah but that's why I worry about him a bit because I do worry that like as much as you're saying that that stuff's not getting to you, if you're getting that amount of toxic comment on your life and the stuff you're putting up and it's that like violently aggressive and it's making you respond and you're responding that means you're seeing it constantly. So I don't know what happens to someone's mental well-being when it comes to stuff like that and it is worrying because it's completely

you know like X or any of it, it's completely lawless, right? Well, I think TikTok in particular, I don't know, they don't seem to be regulated in that way, but I do think, look, the truth of the matter is, one person's radicalisation is another person's education. So, you know, it might feel like radicalisation to you, because you don't agree with what's being said, but another group of people think that that's exactly the sort of thing that should be taught you know so what I'm saying the reason I'm saying all that is it's very difficult to go this is a problem because people have started believing this because what we're doing with policing people's views but at the same time some of the

abuse that gets thrown on there bearing in mind that TikTok is considered to be quite I mean quite a young person's app. I think maybe I've seen some of the worst comments I've ever seen to anybody on TikTok. It's like mad. And I don't know why they don't do anything about it, but I suspect it's because they've got no interest and it wouldn't be in the interest of keeping that app popular. I really am in danger of sounding like a real granddad and I just think I just think listen this is my it's a mad idea but I think it could work just every Wednesday turn the internet off and let people just get out a little bit and interact with each other. Get some fresh air and all these people that think, oh, my friends, I've got this many friends, they're only online. They're not real friends. Real friends are people who you meet down the park and share ice cream with.

I know you don't like football, have a kickabout, have an ice cream with your mates Danny. Just see them face to face. I just don't understand. The day's, I'd leave the house in the morning. I'd say to my mum, I'll be back at 11 o'clock at night. She didn't worry about me. I'd come back at... Just out and about, just having fun. I'd come back at lunchtime to get a cheesy cucumber sandwich, wet and soggy like a panting Labrador from playing football and running around and making camps in the woods. Sometimes we didn't even come back to go to the toilet.

I was so excited about having the time out. We had a bit of the field that we called Pooh Corner because that's where everyone went because they didn't want to run away from the football, they just want to carry on with the game. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is it probably needs something doing about it. Yeah, it does. OK, thank you very much for that email. It's a Panda P, really lovely. But also expressed a lot of concerns.

Yeah. This is from James, who says, Hi Swan Wolf and Al. I've started listening to the podcast recently, it started from the beginning and I absolutely love it. The band's opportunity is so good, I'm constantly laughing, much to the nuance of my wife. The reason I'm writing is I feel a bit disloyal to Rom. I did have tickets to his show in Bournemouth but sold them on to a friend. I had to go to Mexico on business and only got back the day before and knew I'd be tired as Bournemouth is a four hour round trip. I was gutted as I would love to have seen the show but knew it was probably for the best due to jet lag. However today with the money I purchased tickets to see Tom in Swindon the next weekend and I'm justifying this as this makes up for missing Ron. You could come down to Swindon with me because you'll be in Sheffield. I know it's not quite the same but it may be

it's quite upsetting this I know it's not quite the same but it made me wonder if you've done anything where you perhaps did two offers for something on the same night a weekend and had to make a choice which means letting someone down and how do you explain it how do you feel James thank you for your email um what I would like to what I'd say to you is that isn't what's happened is it James what's happened is you didn't want to come to my concert concert all right Taylor Swift you didn't want to come to my concert where I do the rap and do the comedy James you didn't want to come to my theatrical performance and you've chosen because you were free that night so it wasn't you weren't double booked were you James you were double booked it was a dilemma between coming to the show

yeah but it's dangerous to, you can't drive four hours on his jet lag, bless his arm. No that's true. You don't want to encourage people. What he can do is head over to Swindon to watch Tom Davis. Also he's had some trains, my tickets are a lot cheaper. Do you know that for a fact? How much are your tickets? We can start to talk about it if you want. If you want to have this conversation, now let me remind you, you've opened this, this floodgate. How much are your tickets? Do you want to have a conversation about tickets, Al?

My tickets are nine pounds. Your tickets are not nine, mine are 20. I don't know how much mine are actually. Well sometimes it's dependent on the venue actually. Mate, you would not be wearing a Rolex all the time if you were. Okay, I don't't even I don't own a Rolex. You little shit. Well, I want to see how much your tickets are.

Yeah, let me have a look. Uh, Birmingham, so that all 36 pounds. Oh, God, 36. Yeah. OK, in my defense, that's that's in an arena. Right. There's always a bump up when you're doing an arena, right? Let's have a look at theater They're cheaper in the smaller venues, but can I also say? Do not buy tickets from via go-go, please

And I'll get so many people messaged me going I've paid I'll get I'll get Mrs. Abuse going I've paid I paid 400 quid for two tickets to you How can you sleep at night and I go there's nothing to fucking do with me There's no one's paid 200 pounds of tickets come and see me on the basis I there's quite a few empty seats people pay 200 pounds to fucking sit in the car with me on the way to the fucking Let alone sit in the thing What I love is you gotta double to get into it my ticket price one Can I tell you honestly what I have no idea what my tickets were in relation to yours.

I was just trying to double bluff you. Of course not a cheaper. You're one of the biggest fucking acts in the fucking country. And the nice guy, give me another ass in Portugal. OK. Hi, Rom and Tom. I went to see Romesh at the hotel Friday night and what a night it was. Romesh was superb. The following day, we were driving along through Bromley

and reminiscing on the night before when the man himself, Romesh, pulled out behind us at a mini roundabout. My wife shouted and pointed, oh my God, that's Romesh. She was driving, continued to lose her shit. We noticed Rom held back, pretty sure he noticed. Anyway, apologies in advance for the shit driving

in front of you, Romesh, but my wife is in the height of ecstasy It almost ran a red light while she was staring you in the rear view mirror. Keep up the good work. Thanks for the laughs And they've included a photo of them looking at the rear view mirror of me in the car behind and I can tell you they've They've well, you can't really make me out I'll show you What I can tell you is I've never been in that

car in my life. Oh shit seriously. If it was you, what you could have used is all the traffic stuff I've just taught you from the last episode. Yeah, yeah. It could have been more cool back there. So that wasn't you? That was not me, naked mole rat. That was, well look well I don't know how much attention you're paying because there's some random sort of bearded Asian man that just thinks that he's had quite an effect on the car in front so yeah I'm really sorry but

thanks for coming to the show yes amazing but that wasn't me I'd love to know if that guy did notice yeah I reckon he probably did if they were like shouting out like. What is that car? BMW? Okay. Actually, slightly nicer than my tour car, so. Sweet. Well, the old Volvo. Or Graz's old car.

It's not, that's not Graz's car. I know it's not Graz's, I know he's hired it for the tour. Yeah, I know he's hired it for the tour. What car do you ride around in for your tour? It depends on the time though. Oh, you've got the You've done the van like dumb and dumb are all like done out like a dog. I mean you know the underdog van We can't afford it man 25 found a ticket. But yeah, hopefully one day if he

There's any prices No depends if it's sweet sweet alley. I'm rocking in the V class But I think Elliot takes over from now so So he's got quite a rip, but he rents a car, but he is a, I think he's like a S class, I think. And he, yeah, the seat goes back quite a long way. So you can stretch your old legs out. This is from the Panicky Panda. Dear Wolf, Al Swan and Cat. First is to say thank you for your

podcast. It's a lovely mix of funny, serious, sad and thoughtful. I was introduced to it by my boyfriend a couple of years ago. It's become one of my absolute favorites. We were so lucky enough to see Tom on the Isle of Wight a few weeks ago, incredible date night. And we very much hope to be able to see Romesh on stage one day. Are you doing the Isle of Wight on this tour? No. Oh mate, you've got to get over there bro. It's great, you'll love it. Maybe I should. I don't have a huge dilemma or a funny story of my own to share. I just want to send a little note in response to a young man from London

who's considering reconnecting with his long-distance love in Brighton. Do you remember this? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope that worked out. Thomas is very keen on the free rail pass of love and mentioned his own love. By the way, I say that I've had quite a few people reaching out about this. A lot of people are saying what an amazing idea it is and how beautiful it is. Okay, listen, it is a beautiful idea.

I'm just talking about, I've not got an issue with the beauty of the idea. My issue is how do you administer that? Mate, I just think when it comes to love, people are dishonest and I do think that there is ways around it. You know. Tom, on the last episode of this you went into detail about how whenever there's an honesty bar you put a tenner at the beginning and just into it. Yeah but I'll get drunk and do that like when it's love I just think like love can build a bridge. Yeah you're drunk on love. Yeah love can build a bridge between your

heart and mine, fucks sake. It's like that song's never been sung. Although, so we'd like to echo this. My boyfriend, the Lord Labrador, and I have been together for over 10 years now. He's my happy ever after, following some not so happy times. For over a year, he travelled to me via ferry, bus, train and a walk every other weekend. And here's the thing that Tom might like. The bus from the ferry to the train was free. Although the local authorities obviously arranged for this free bus travel for commuters, I'd like to think there was some old romantic like Tom. Can I just say I'm not unromantic,

it's just it's difficult to administer this scheme. It's difficult to administer this scheme. If we were making a film you'd be like the sort of big city council guy just going, hold up for a second, you've got to pay for travel tickets cost and I'll be like come on man for fuck's sake these people are in love okay but the point I'm trying to make is what happens if somebody discusses I can't be asked to pay for the train this guy I'm going to see my other half can I get a love pass what's your what is your contingency against I think you've got a show like some sort of text and Text text and okay, then I just get then I just text myself. I get somebody's guy. I go. Oh, mate do me a favor I've got I'm getting a train to Birmingham. Can you just send me some texts anyone to suck me off?

Well, so why do you want me to send you those texts? What was the way trying to get a free train to what's the train free? What is this a love pass that Jimmy you know what that guy... No, no sorry mate. So I'll do some things, I'll help people out where I can but if everyone fucking starts abusing a love pass it means people are actually in love, won't be able to use it. And that would be the death of the love pass. The thing is that I actually got to try and see a sick relative but unfortunately you can't get that for free but for some reason love has been prioritized over those kind of journeys because of Tom Davis. Could someone have provided the money? Actually, actually, because so many people use it. Tom Davis is what, because you're seeing a secretive relative, that counts as love.

So if you show, like you can prove that that is the love, you are going there for a matter of love. Mate, mate, mate, mate, you are. I mean, how, how did the trains get funded? Well, I can tell you now, I know how trains get funded? Mate, I can tell you now. I know how to get funded and know where the money goes. There's some fucking big cat who fucking does nothing about them. The trains are an absolute shit show. They are a shit show. They are a shit show. But what I'm saying is like, because they're a shit show...

They'll free path for sort of like Anne and John or whoever are in love. It's fucking a good thing, man. Tom, Tom, Tom. Handshake. Hey, here we go.. Oh sick relative, we've got ya. Tom, it's not going to be an odd pass, is it? Okay, it's not going to be an odd pass. Try it and see. If I turn up to the train station and I look, by the way, trains are fucking disgustingly expensive right? Yeah, I'm going to tell you now, you'd be too embarrassed even if you were, I'd love to ask. I know what you're like. I would be, I tell you I could you'd be too embarrassed even if you were in love to ask I know what you're like I would be I would be I'm so just imagine but just imagine right your your

Sorry, I think was that a bit deaf here behind this glass can I get a love plush? No, what's that make can I get and have passed? I've got a betrothed that I'm in love with in Newcastle. You'd be, I think you'd be painful, you wouldn't be able to ask for a love past. My point is everybody would say they're in love. I'm going to see my mate who I love. Like would you say, I love you. No it has to be. No, no, no, no, if it's not like, look you haven't got to see me but if you're in a relationship. If I'm ill then yeah I think you should be able to I think this world right now in the country in which

we live if you're getting on a train to see a sick relative and you can't afford it I think there should be a fucking situation that you're allowed alright okay here's my here's my hypothetical I'm coming to see you do I get a free ticket no no okay what if you're ill, I think if I'm seriously ill and you can't afford it I should be alright. So, okay. What if you've been in a car accident? Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, it's pretty good a train. Okay, fine. All right So I get a free train pass to come and see you if you've been in a car accident Okay, yeah, how bad is the accident if it's pretty it's got to be pretty bad enough for you to fucking take time

I can't come and see me. What have you brought? What have you broken the leg? Well it's pretty, it's got to be pretty bad enough for you to fucking take time out and come and see me. What have you broken, what have you broken the leg? Like I've got two broken legs, one of my ribs is broken and I've got quite a bad concussion. Okay, what if you've got one broken leg, two broken ribs and everything else is alright? Well I still think you go, if you turn up. Okay, what if your ribs are alright? I think as well it's like people make, I think can make the, make the sort of like, I still think you go. If your ribs are all right, you just get one break. I think as well, it's like people make their...

I think can make their sort of... I think you get really good train guards, really good people who work in the train places. Yeah. And the reason I think it could possibly work is that whenever I've seen these guys working at the train stations, I always think these guys have got too much time on their hands. And what they...

They would love to have to adjudicate over a series of different impossibly infinite scenarios where they have to decide whether you issue a love pass or not. I think you know what I'm an idiot you're right you're absolutely right. You have a love counter there. You have a love counter there. So there's one person who's employed. Also, employment rates go up. Employment rates go up. Hi, I'm Bill. I work on the love counter at Stoke Newington. Do you know what I mean?

And there we go. Hello, I'm Janet. Hello, is that Bill at Stoke Newington? Yeah, yeah, I've just got Claire here. She's just come through You're you're working at love counter three bridges, right? Okay, cool Okay. Are you are you gonna find out for you? Come? Yeah. Yeah. This is Bill Matthews Sorry, I'm just introducing myself to make Bill get Bill Matthews Love expert at three Sorry, just introducing myself there mate. Bill Matthews, love expert at Three Bridges. Your love is my love.

Oh, I love Whitney Houston too. Yes, she's incredible, as you are my favourite artist. Well the reason I got into the business of love actually, my friend, sorry, I didn't get your name there Squire. It's John Hamilton. John Hamilton. John Hamilton, just going to make a note of that John. Erm, I was just wondering if I could get a love pass.

Oh, a love pass, well John, very happy to hear that you are in love. Er, John, can you just tell me a little bit about the love scenario in which you found yourself John there mate? Yeah, I'm going to see Adele. Ah, the singer Adele in Las Vegas. Trains are going to see Adele. The singer Adele in Las Vegas? Trains not going to Las Vegas, John? No, I'm getting a train to the airport to go to flight in Las Vegas. Oh, okay, well Adele actually finished her run in Las Vegas this weekend. She is touring over Europe, I believe, John.

That's what I mean, I'm going to see her in Las Vegas. Well, John, straight away there's massive holes in your story mate. And you know as I said at the start of this call, all love is value to me. My love is your love and your love is my love. But John you seem like a blagger my friend. And although I hope that love finds you and it's fickle finger of fate runs down the small of your back, as it turns John, I don't think you're in love at the moment We can't give you a love boss

The thing is I didn't know that I didn't know that she wasn't playing I thought she was playing But you brought a ticket. Why are you a stalker John mate? Well, I don't know if I've been conned because I really really love Adele and like You know, I don't really like her at all yesterday and they said that yeah but what I'm saying is I in good conscience bought a ticket someone to see someone I love yeah the tickets job I got it off I got it off it was like a like an Etsy thing. Oh, John ticket finder thing. John come on What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? My name's Bill Matthews my friend. Okay, so Bill the thing is is that I supposed to be taking I'm supposed to be taking my my my girlfriend Okay, she was gonna I was gonna I'm gonna meet you and I was gonna meet you in London. So now I'm gonna have to go

John, obviously job boy. Yeah, friend my boy. Whereabouts is your girlfriend from there job boy? Well, I don't see how that's relevant. She's she's meeting me at the airport Where she lives job boy me friend me right? She's not if near you. In Plumstead. So where are you living again? Three Bridges. Three Bridges yeah. That's why I'm phoning up Three Bridges. John let me tell you this. This is the best I could do for you mate.

I can give you a free pass for you to come into London this weekend and see your girl. Say hello to her and break under the news that you've had your pants pulled down over a couple of tickets to Adele. You're not seeing Adele and I'm sorry to say that but you've got yourself a free ticket and with the £8.70 that you're saving there John, get yourself a little bit of food, glass of wine for you and the lady. How's that sound mate? That sounds great, that seems really really great, thank you. Thanks so much. Cheers John, all the best now, God bless you. Cheers mate, my old chap. Okay thanks Bill, goodbye. Right bill goodbye right NC can you see

what the problem is with your system that we're choked clearly a fucking liar yeah but I've got myself a ticket oh true true I've got myself a ticket and you've spent six minutes talking to me on the phone I mean that's that was what that was one case yeah but that was a tricky case as well. I think Bill did a good job. Yeah, but by the way, that was just one example. Imagine dealing with that every day, all day. How are you going to handle it? Mate, I think Bill would be great. I think Bill actually showed Warren and Merritt. Yeah, he gave away one ticket, £8.70.

That was a- That was a ticket he wanted in the first place. He wanted a ticket to London. And as a result of this blag, he's got a ticket to London. Yeah, but to see who? Well, it doesn't matter, does it? He's got a ticket to London.

I'll have to talk to Bill. What you've just said to me is, he's clearly a liar. That liar has got himself exactly what you asked for at the beginning of the call. Plus, it's taken fucking eight minutes to get there okay yeah they'll be look I'm saying I've they're pretty be that scientists and stuff they got involved with me but fucking people who work out the intrinsic it's like you

with your ticket prices right it's a crazy moment crazy mmm all right cool people thank you so much for listening, guys. JT, can you play both? What was the song that you requested? The Edge of Glory. Can you play The Edge of Glory as well as a little bit of Set My Heart on Fire, I'm a Live Bomber, Jessica the Jammer, Ken and Celine Dion in tribute to Michael Hutchinson. Thank you so much for listening, guys.

Peace, people. Peace. See you at Sheffield if you're coming. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Oh yeah, Sheffield. Come peace see you Sheffield for coming bye bye oh yeah Sheffield come come to Sheffield I'm only with you I'm only yours I am alive Can you run for me? When you come along with me? When I feel you free

When I feel you free I can wings to fly I feel that I'm alive I am alive I'm alive I am a revolution