Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 28: Food Thievery & A Grumpy Wolf

Episode Date: June 7, 2024

Apologies for the delay with this week’s episode but we’ve got a bumper show to make up for it. We’re talking… Rom’s stolen meals, simmering food, the under-appreciation of Vicks, hoodie drawstrings, our live show at Sheffield’s Crossed Wires Festival, Tom’s nasty head-cold, being bad at being ill, finishing tours, bad drunks, losing your temper with inanimate objects, rubbish lawnmowers, in-growing hairs, having absolutely no arse, mooning, an unfortunate Tom look-a-like and The Dominos Pizza Awards. Plus, email questions about open-air toilets and whether heckling is becoming more of a problem at stand-up gigs. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hear that, Codopounder fans? That silence is two friends enjoying the new creamy Parmesan and bacon Codopounder at McDonald's. Because adding crispy bacon and creamy Parmesan sauce to our 100% Canadian beef makes it impossible to have a conversation. Try the new creamy Parmesan and bacon Codopounder today and discover how words are so unnecessary. For a limited time only, you're participating with Donald's restaurants in Canada. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows

Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff and puff and a huff. Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing its head spinning, just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog.

Hello, welcome once again to the Wolf and the Owl, run tell your friend. Lee's friend. Lee's doing, Tom's doing some sort of make America great again sort of gun things. But how are you? Oh good, I'm good, G.U.? Well, I'm gonna tell you, let me just start things off straight away. I've been the victim of a robbery. What?

Well, I've probably overstayed it a little bit. But Lisa and I got some like, we got some meals delivered you know like little right and Augusto kind of yeah cut them yourself yeah no you just stick them in the microwave it's like a it's simmer it's simmer oh yeah so simmer good they're might we're not I'm not being endorsed but they're great I'm paying for them this is not an ad I'm paying for them, this is not an ad. I'm paying for the meals, right? No, but I've been looking at them,

because Chunks, right, my guy Chunks, love Chunks, he's been on them, and then someone else recently who I admire, I can't think who it is, I admire them that much, and it wasn't you. I'll say it, probably Matthew McConaughey. If I'm guessing it's somebody that's influenced you. Is he on them? No, I don't think so.

Oh, that's good to say, fucking hell, if he's on them, fuck it. That'd be a great cue for Simma. Yeah, but I've been looking at them, so that's interesting. So is that how, is it, so they're like nutritional, they get all your nutrients and shit, right? Yeah, you can sort of ask for what you want, I guess. So we just got, we were just trying them out and they're really nice, but that's not the point of the story. The point of the story is this. I get a text from the guy going,

your meals have been delivered. Lisa goes and gets the meals, opens them up, puts them in the fridge. We're enjoying them through the week. And then I'm like, hold on a minute. We're like, we're running out here. And I go, how many boxes were there? She goes, two.

I text the guy and I go, we haven't got enough meals. He shows me a photo of Not in a nasty way see me the guy runs it a really nice guy So he's known that's clever. He's named named after himself, right? Yeah, I guess so. I mean it yeah A lot of places do that, you know, John Apple who started Apple obviously, that's not true Jeremy Argos oh she might I know you know but no you get like Craig's Craig's hairdressers and Craig's barbers yeah Liz is what yeah no but I didn't know yeah I know Liz's Laundrette or whatever okay but I did realize that Simmer

something like that because Simmer yeah it's a pretty cool thing. Yes, cool thing. You can you can hate food like that, can't you, Tom? Oh, yeah. Yeah. But you don't you don't simmer stuff in the microwave. No. So before you get all fucking lording it over and swinging your dick. I'd assume they had to simmer it before they you know, it's pre cooked.

No, I don't think they probably did simmer it, mate. There's been no simmering going on. This is, you're talking about batch cooking, mate. You're not simmering batch cooking. You're insane if you think that's happening. Well, surely you're simmering the initial sort of onions to break them down. You're simmering those.

You saute them, mate. You don't simmer them. You've just simmered an onion in your life. You're off your nut. What is, I'm gonna be honest with you, as we continue talking, it's become clear to me I don't like simmering. Yeah, I know. You've got no idea. This is one of those things where I enjoy the most, because you've gone out on a limb here. I can't find honest with you as we continue talking as become clear to me I know you've got no idea

This is one of those things where I enjoy the most because you've you've gone out on a limb here I can't find my phone here. What is simmering? Yeah, look it up, please Simmering Simmering of water or food that has been heated stay just below the boiling point while bubbling gently Okay, keep food just blow boiling put yet Okay, so sim it up simmering, mate. Not a big company like Simmer. Okay. All right. I mean, it's a big claim. I'm gonna text him and say, have you simmered stuff in any of the prep for this? And if they have, if they have, I will come down upon you with such vengeance and fury. Yeah, but, okay, right. I know what you're doing.

Oh, hello, mate, it's Romesh here. So what's the situation with this food? Has it been simmered properly? And he'll think, fuck, we could lose a big client here in Romesh. I'm not gonna say has it been simmered properly. I'm just gonna say, you can word it with me now, in the process of preparing this food,

does any simmering take place? That's the question. Or to say, hey Simmy, have you named your business after the method of cooking or your name? Well it's possible it could be both, isn't it Tom? I mean it's well within the realms of possibility, isn't it? Well it could be, but I think he's named it after himself and I think that's a very, very clever idea. Okay. And actually it's a very catchy title for business.

Okay well, Sim Simmer would have been a good one. Oh wow fuck! Yeah. I actually now, you know what, I don't think I was going to say this in this conversation but I respect that massive name. Sim Simmer would have been a fucking really cool name. I'll arguably say that if Simmy listens to this he'll hear this and go oh fuck I've dropped a bullet there. Well anyway what I can tell you is there's a photo of so Lisa took in two boxes ours away. We get a photo from the delivery driver three boxes left

on our thing. Wow. We've been robbed a box has been taken. I searched around the garden on the off chance because I believe in human nature and the goodness in people. So that was my last... Have you got a ring doorbell? No. What? What are you thinking? In 2024? I know. I know. Is that bad? You've got to get a ring doorbell.

Well, I just for instance... Yeah, I know. I know. know I know well anyway, there's somebody I'm basically on the lookout now for somebody that looks like both like a bit of a scally But there was but also that like they've been getting their protein requirements because that is If you can buy also, can I just say if they've nicked that box from your doorway? No, no some of the bougie stuff that you get sent They're gonna I mean they going to be incredibly disappointed. They're going to be disappointed.

Very disappointed. If you're going to get some sort of PlayStation, they open it up, and it's some vegan shawarma. Good luck to you, mate. I hope you enjoyed it. This is all vegan. Imagine that going, oh, we're going to be eating well this week.

It's going to be great. What is this? Tofu teriyaki? What the fuck? It's when you turn up two days later and the box has been brought back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, it's good. Anyway, I feel sad about it. I do feel a bit sad about it. Are you going to keep using Simma? Yeah, but it's not their fault, is it?

No, no, how long have you been using him, though? Well, this is my second week. I'm thinking about getting involved in sim when the tools open open fucking oh whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa somebody feeling a bit low don't be so harsh on yourself you know what it is I'm having to I've got this by my side oh jeez what is going on with you what you've got a bowl of water that you're sniffing a bowl of water with Vixx in. Oh, lovely. Oh, that's so good. Did you ever do the blanket over the head?

Yeah, I was gonna do that, but I thought you weren't gonna be able to see me then. No, obviously I'm not suggesting that you do it during the podcast, but I mean, has that happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got this in the corner now. It's just, every now and again,

I was gonna have a little hit of it. Just, that's fucking great. Vixx is, I'll tell you what VIXX is one of most underrated things that you know it's so fucking good I don't think it's underrated I think people know what it does when you last in a pub or a bar or something someone brought up VIXX in the conversation well what I would say Tom is the level of conversation that's a dip pretty fucking low for us to start talking about VIXX and no disrespect to VIX, but if I'm a thing and you if I'm having a drink, okay Because we're having it we're having a drink in a couple of weeks. We're going out on a little social

Yeah, we're gonna celebrate our tour being over if at one point you turn around I tell you what I'll say what is fucking great for clearing up system Vicks. I'll go Tom Do you think it's time to bring the podcast to an end? This has happened. Do you know what if you bring up the podcast to an end? Is this what's happened? No, no, you know what? If you bring up Vicks to me, we're out and about, right? We're having ourselves a little drink, we're having a laugh, right? You know, taking a mick, probably do a couple of little pranks as we do, right? Someone, you know, you turn around to me and someone walks over and they've got a bit of

a bunged up nose. And you turn around and go, hello, hello, friend. Er, Romas Renki Nathan, weakest link and such. Er, notice you've got a bit of a blocked up hoose Hello. Hello friend. And Romesh Ranganathan weakest link and such Now she got a bit of a blocked up who's today my friend Can I suggest getting home getting some boiling water a little bit of Vicks? I'll go fucking up. That's a that's a great call What I want to know is in this role play bearing in mind that you're the one that's talking about Vicks I it's some sort of underappreciated war veteran Why is it I'm the prick that's bringing up to this stranger? No because he stands next to you at the bar I probably not you go fucking tell him about the yeah. Yeah, Tom. Okay, I get it

But Vicks isn't some sort of underground Alternative remedy the only you and I know about If I go to him, I'm sorry mate. Have you heard about Vicks? Yes, of course I've heard about fucking Vicks What other suggestions have you got using a tissue to wipe my nose? Can you move to the other side of the bottle? I'll tell you I'll tell you and I'd like to do a poll on this actually so JT get you get your poll gear on Mate, all right. I'll tell you that I don't think as many people know about pictures you think that I think you're being very pedantic

I think you're I think you're not understanding what pedantic means but we Pedantic is that when you were stickler for detail which I have been accused of being on this podcast in fairness to you Yeah, but I think it lies in this instance. I just think you're wrong. Okay. I think you're being very What is the word I'm looking for about VIX? Superior, assumptive. Yeah. I think VIX, I think in 2024, VIX probably needs a little bit more of a boost.

I think there's probably at least three generations below us that don't know enough about VIX. Okay, all right. Well, look, if people feel like they've been educated by our VIX chat, which if you haven't heard of it, it's great stuff, you put it on your, put it, sometimes you put it under your nose, it's like a little... But it does get matted in your mustache. Well you know who, like, Vieira used to wear it on his shirt, didn't he? Yeah, to ease his breathing. Yeah, yeah, so it's... I tried that when I was playing

Sunday League and it just, I put too much on and it sort of was just A level of athleticism where that is the difference Jimmy but I think you have to get so you have to get some other things in line really before Vic starts Well, yeah talent is one of them. Yeah talent basic coordination rudimentary levels of fitness Some sort of level of self-belief. You've got the levels of fitness coming out. You're looking so buff at the moment. Okay, I know why you're saying this,

because you know you're looking buff. I'm not, I'm not, mate. I've not hit the gym for like a week. This is, I've had this fucking cold since I've got back from filming that's been absolutely killed me. It's like, I've been, yeah, and I'm, I'd say exhausted

at the moment, so. Just on a separate issue, just as I'm talking to you there, I've noticed you do this quite a bit. When you're wearing a hoodie, you pull the hood really tight and then tie it up into a little bow at the front. What is the origin story of that, please? I think it looks good.

I don't like the things hanging down You don't like him because what I do I do admit slightly annoying when they're uneven I don't want to sound sort of weird Yeah, I like the feel that feel it because it's just two loose bits of rope right that then become a It becomes like even you've not noticed them in you so it becomes your eyes are drawn to it And if you look up you see my face if you look down you see yeah my body Sometimes I don't think you know you say these things out loud Can we I'd say two things admin wise one sorry that the episode is two days late

There's a number of issues that meant we couldn't record the episode when we're supposed to and two can I say thank you to everyone that came out to the Sheffield live show on Sunday hope you enjoyed it you know we there were a couple of complaints what I would say is you know you you're paying a fair bit of money for a ticket, and if you know the Wolf and Owl, you know what you're getting. But let's just say there were a couple of people that were dipping their toe in the world of the Wolf and Owl

and were slightly disappointed to find two people. Just sort of- Can I just say on the basis that, for everyone who brought a ticket came along, we were very, very, very, obviously touch is a lovely thing to see. I would the respect I have for someone who would spend the amount of money that those tickets were on a punt to see a podcast that they'd never listened to. I'd say that's that's a hell of a that's a hell of a gambit. That's a little

risk, isn't it? It was a real insight into how this podcast translates live to people that haven't seen it before and my answer to that is now not well. No, no. If you're wondering- I'd actually say half the price or maybe a third of the price, it actually translates okay but for that amount of money, you're talking about if two people are coming That is a that's a decent meal out, you know, yeah and

Well, I think not only did they did the couple of people not enjoy the podcast I think it's safe to say they won't be coming to see us on tour going forward either. So There you go. What can you do, you know? All public I enjoy I enjoyed chilling with you and I enjoyed to be fair. There a lot of love in the room I'll be I'm being like most of the people absolutely loved it it was great it was really good fun thank you coming out yeah we were appreciate each and every one of you we had loads of emails from people saying they've enjoyed it so so thank you so so and very fun emails as well I'd say really good. Well, yeah

I'm really good at us. Jeff was really brought the email vibe. Yeah, they really did Young couple moving in somebody being very open about their emotions Bar in I can't really borrow is but a bar the three cranes Rochelle wasn't it the three cranes in Brazil Rochelle. Yes. I'm like that. Anyway, they are Rushed out wasn't it the free cranes in Brazil rushed up. Yes. Anyway, they are Naming a drink two drinks after us the wolf and the yeah, so it's all very exciting very exciting times How have you been Tommy Tommy Davis? Yeah, well, I've had this cold which has been Myself I'm assuming terrible contract. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm terrible

Yeah, I'm not much fun to be around. It's it's but it's just a head cold. You know, it's just like completely what does that mean? Just my heart. Well, my silences are very blocked up. Okay, yeah. My ears are oozing. My eyes are oozing. My nose. Yeah, your ears aren't oozing. Are they? Yeah, I've had ooze coming out of like my eyeballs, my nose and my ears. Okay. All right, well that's right. Yeah. It's just like, you know, like, is it called guitar? Guitar? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You've got that coming out your ears? No, I've got that coming out of my nose and my mouth and then like a sort of like, yes, you know, it's like, well, I'm waking up and my eyes are all buggy with sleep. I don't know if it could be the beginning of hay fever, who knows? Do you mind, do you mind doing me a massive favor

and mind I stop talking about it in this level of detail because I'm starting to get aroused. You know what I think as well is I think I've got a kindred sort of like affinity with the weathers in the world and everything, right? So I think as weathers change and seasons change, it always hits me quite hard. Yeah, I mean, that's true of almost everyone, isn't it?

I mean, you're sort of saying- No, no, no, but I get quite- You're saying that you're an edge lord. But everybody has that, don't they? No, it's not happened to you, is it? I've had- When will it become summer? Well, I'm gonna tell you this now, Tom.

I have been very cocky around the house about the fact that hay fever has not affected me this year. Two days ago, it got me me man. It got me bad What do you mean you'd be caught in summer isn't even started yet? Well, it's like literally winning your first three games in the Premier League and so you think you might win the league title Can I ask you something? You've not even got into the fucking summer yet. Can I ask you something? Are you okay? Because I'm gonna tell you something. Can I just say something? You've been a very your vibe your tone your response to questions

your general kind of chat has been incredibly aggressive yeah and I'm tempted to say that one of the side effects of Vicks is it turns into a fucking Aggie prick I've got his cold and I'm not good. You know what? I realized I'm not a good ill person. I'm not good. No, you're not. Very grumpy wolf. Oh, mate. I'm like a, you know, like, you know, a bear who gets, you know, there's that famous story about a lion that gets, yeah, or the lion that gets a thorn in its paw. Yeah, that's me. Okay. Well, just tell me how to get this storm at this fucking pool because hopefully if I can keep on the vicks by

the end of this I think I should be fine yeah if you need me to come around the spirit into your chest I'm happy to do that I would love that I'd love that right now I know I'm going away and I'm I think as well the five five gigs that I want to be on fit the idea to end the out. Obviously, I've got to go back to Scotland for the cancelled rescheduled gigs. But yeah, I'm on the last three myself this week of the tour. It's big for you this big. Well, it's going to be emotional that Saturday night when the curtain comes down in Manchester. I know obviously when the curtain comes down.

What are you playing in Manchester at the, what's it called? It's at the AO Arena. When, I know when the curtain comes down. Is that a new one? Is that a new one? No, no, no, God no, no. That's 23,000 people.

I mean listen, I don't mind being punchy. I'm not that punchy. Do you know what I mean? 23,000 people is insane. Well how much does your one hold? Dunno, 15, 11 something. Oh my God. Wowzer. Wowzer. Manchester, by the way, is a vibe. I love gigging in Manchester. I don't want to curse.

Yeah, it's got some sweet sweet songs. I don't want to jinx it, but Manchester, I'm a fan. I'm going to tell you that now. Big fan. So I bet you're gonna go out big aren't you afterwards? I'm gonna go out. Well, I'm gonna go out. But I have, you know, as I've detailed here in the past Whenever I've come to an end of something like that. I've wanted to celebrate and then made a tip myself and then ruin the good feeling of Have a good time. I I'm gonna say now you've got some great people riding shotgun with you That is you could make you got Grazia Yeah Yeah, but that's what raises the stakes. Do you mean like really? Yeah the other night I went out we went out for a lot of pastoral drinks and then I sent a message out about going for lunch or something

like that and nobody replied and Initially, so let me just before you go to foot it in and I you're in that kind of mood but I And then I got the fear. I thought I must have said something last night. That's like They're probably all having breakfast now going. No, what do we say to him? So it's his tour, but you can't you just can't behave like that Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think about things like that. I must say that that's that drunk fear hits me hard Mmm, it's horrible. It's a horrible thing. And then even even if you've been slightly tipsy you think I must say that that's that drunk fear hits me hard. It's horrible, it's a horrible thing. Even if you've been slightly tipsy, you think,

I must have said something. I must have said something in the moment where I've got cocky and carried away, do you know what I mean? Oh, that feeling is just the worst. Yeah, but then I did the worst and sent out another text going, can I just check on this? Oh no.

I know, I know. Less even worse, because then people, no, but then that's like like forensic evidence because people then start tracing Exactly to the minutiae. Yeah, and you've got Graziano one of my favorite people in the world, but he's not a big drinker So he doesn't drink at all as far as I'm aware Had five margaritas that night Okay, cool. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah He's got five margaritas. so then everyone's trying to you know go through what he can do. I'm hoping that

everyone's so paranoid about their own behavior they're not focusing on mine do you know what some people don't give a shit about their behavior when they're drunk. You reckon? Some people just don't yeah I'd say you know 35% of the public Really fucking a night are anxious about their behavior and the rest just that can give a shit well without naming names I was a thing recently not recently a while ago a rap party and Somebody there got so drunk that they vombed into one of the wine bucket things

and then still didn't leave. They just sort of positioned themselves near those buckets so that every time they felt like vomiting, they were just vomiting full view of everyone. And then, which is, you know, it's one of those things, but then the next day, they're totally fine, but it's just like so much more of those things and I've got too much to drink.

Very, very casual. I respect it. Sorry, can I just ask, I don too much to drink. Very, very casual. I respect it. Sorry, can I just ask, I don't want to know the person's name, because that'd be, well, I do want to know, and I'll ask you after the show. Was it a cast member or a crew member? Crew member. Crew member?

Yeah. The crew on jobs sometimes go, like, you know, a free bar is one of my favorite things, where people let their hair down. But that's sometimes when you, yeah, a free bar is one of my favorite things where people let their hair down. But that's sometimes when you hear them, arguments kick off, because people, I suppose, don't quite realize, sometimes on set, different members, different teams have different rivalries.

Cost you make up. Yeah, that is true. Different departments have a little bit of, because they're all sort of, you're all working together, but you are pushing for budget and time and etc. Etc against each other But the other thing is I think being on a shoot particularly like a scripted shoot or something like that Or even like when you're doing a travel show ever it is you are forced together for a substantial amount of time, right? so sometimes

Temp not tempers confront, I mean I've seen tempers fray, but what I mean is you get to a point in the shoot where everyone's absolutely trading an eggshells with everyone, aren't they? Do you know what I mean? It's like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's so, it gets to a point where you're like, there's nothing worse, I mean it's like any job in the world where some sort of animosity kicks in. And some sort of argument takes place. And this doesn't matter whether you're a teacher, work on a building site, but when that happens, and then you kind of, you're not forced to take sides, but when you get both sides coming up to you

with what they think's happened, I, by nature by the way, would always try and, even going back to when I worked at a building site, I would always try and get involved and try and sort the to build it. So I would always try and get involved and try and sort the whole thing out. But sometimes what you realize is some people don't want to sort some people get so angry, so angry. And they work, you know, well, I know, I know, I know, you're not a confrontational person, are you?

No. In fact, I always worry about saying this, because I get concerned that it's gonna happen It's gonna backfire on me in a massive way, but I couldn't even tell you the last time I lost my temper about anything Oh, you know, I'll find things annoying or something's a bit aggravating but to actually lose my lose my rag about something I couldn't even do so what's also worried. I saw just getting pet up within you maybe maybe but but I got I don't it's not even like I feel Like I'm suppressing anything. I'm just like it is what it is. I don't I don't ever really I don't ever feel rage building up in me ever really. Yeah, I don't I don't do you think something wrong with me Well, I mean I like you supposed because I think a healthy thing, isn't it?

It's a healthy thing. I get so annoyed by an animal objects like fucking absolutely That's actually probably the closest I've come to to losing my light like so no like you know the math's mimes I've turned to an animal like a fucking jaw that doesn't open properly or something and go what? Fucking close properly. I don't know. It's go. I try to do stuff You know what? You've absolutely fucking mugged me off it because that's exactly what I do do that In fact, I was late coming to the podcast today, which you were very gracious about I've called you I feel very guilty about calling Maggie Prick's actually very understanding about me leaving you waiting at your computer

Computer fucking hell anyway I couldn't I've lost my headphones So I had to pair up a different set of earphones with the laptop and that was just wasn't It just wasn't working And I was just like I just Need to do the podcast with Tom Tom's waiting his laptop and all it needs is to fucking pairs Well, I fucking need it to that's what that's what they're fucking for Fucking blue two of us for foot exactly doing this. It doesn't do the basic fucking function.

I was doing that, to be fair. So maybe. So you're out, there's an outlet there. The other day I was trying to mow the lawn, right? And our lawn mower just ceased to work, right? I mean, I think going back, I think if any long-term listeners remember when I bought the lawn mower,

I got fucking sold one with a wire. I was absolutely fucking vexed by that. Still fucking one of the worst purchases I've ever made in my life. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Even worse now. What do you mean you sold one with a wire? Like I went there with every intention. I don't know if you remember this, this is a long time ago. I bought a battery operated lawnmower.

Right. And a fucking little prick of B&Q. And I still fucking hold a lot of animosity to this person and still bitching Yeah, and you should you should do by the way retail workers. They get it too easy these guys I mean, no, no, no, no, no, don't fucking pedal that off me. Mr. Sunglass hut 2000 fucking too, right? Don't fuck your parlor off. I've got all the time for retail workers are fucking, I will fucking shake a fucking retail worker's hand. I will go back and say, oh, thank you, you sold me that jumper, you sold me this,

it was your idea for me to buy this thing. I will hold them with warmth within my heart. But if a little prick who I go and go, I want a battery fucking operating lawn mower, because it's an absolute fiddle trying to fucking mow a lawn with a wire that cable, worried about fucking mowing over and blowing up your whole house, right? If he then sells more long with a wire that cable you're worried about fucking mowing over and blowing up your whole house. Right? If he then sells me one with a

wire, I will fucking have vengeance within my heart with him for the rest of my life. Yeah. That sounds reasonable. It does actually. Every time I pull that fucking thing out and start working it, I'm like, you know, why did I fucking listen to him? He's got 19. He's never fucking lived. He's probably never even mowed a lawn before. He just played. Can I just play devil's advocate here?

Go on. Well, he's possibly thought he was selling you the better thing. Right. He should have like, no, I'm to blame in this. I'm to blame someone. I should have just gone in with the intention. No, but you know what, this kid, he's 1920, I remember him now, he had tattoos, he looked quite a cool guy and I kind of wanted him to, I had to report him. You wanted him to like you? Yeah. Yeah and I wanted him, I wanted nothing more than in three or four months time me to walk into B&Q, see him there and go, all right you,

fucking that was the best purchase. I wanted that from our relationship, right? Yeah, I get that. Instead, every time that I went back in there, I never saw him again, because he was probably sacked, because he probably complained to him and fucking said other people crap. But I never saw him again. Some part of me thinks it's a fight club fucking scenario, and he wasn't even there.

It was just, I basically had this, it was like my brain just fucking, I pictured this perfect fucking sales staff, and he just basically became like a figment of my imagination Love I went back and went Oh Danny started over there for Danny worked here. Yeah, we never had a Danny worked here We do remember you though, so you were sort of furiously arguing with yourself about getting a corded lawn mower We don't if you remember we had to ask you to leave It's just sort of repeatedly shout with the corded lawn mower. I don't know if you remember, we had to ask you to leave. You just sort of repeatedly shout. With the corded lawn.

Like, what mama you did? I want battery. Get cord you pussy. Get a fucking cord on it. Tommy, you okay? I've got ingrown hair on my leg that's really high. Oh, okay, I thought you were looking at your phone. So how did that happen, the ingrown hair?

I don't know, I will get back to that in a minute. So anyway, so yeah, then I lose my shit with it. And I'm just like, Oh, fucking what did I buy this fucking thing? It's the worst thing I've ever done. How does that? How does? What? What did the lawnmower do that? Annoyed you? So do you make based on based on your mood so far? I'd say almost nothing. But but go on. Tell me. No, so because so basically, you go you most strip of your lawn, then you've got to go back but the no so because so basically you go you most a

strip of your lawn then you've got to go back but the the cables across so you've got to go under it or clear the cable yeah yeah and it can't go the cable no because it will just explode and it'll fucking give you a big electric shock have you done that before yeah yeah it's a it's a brutal thing unpleasant anyway so I get vexed and now I'm just like I lose my way with it completely Yeah, me too. Me too. It's a brutal thing. Unpleasant. Anyway, go on. So I get vexed and now I'm just like, I lose my way with it completely. Yeah. But then the other day I got the lawnmower out and it's short, the fucking plug shorted. It's not working. Probably because, you know, so I'm like now, like, this is a fucking prick, this thing.

I'm like, this is literally just driven me crazy. And I'm just picturing that guy just sort of like shaking my hand and sort of smiling and then Picture him just running out and go. Oh, you know, I couldn't sell you said I could sell those shit lawn mowers with the fucking mains adapter Fucking with the lead guess which pricks that prick there just brought the last one you owe me a fucking Nando's Tell me like that's all I can think can I can I can I admit something? I haven't made it up to this point. I had no idea you could get a battery-operated lawnmower Really? I mean, I'm still unconvinced that they exist. Can you mind if I please they do have a look have a look now Yeah, you're right. Yeah cordless right there's loads of them

Yeah, what's that? Do you remember anything about why I gave you the pattern of? Because he just said that they have more power. Right. Okay, which is possible. It's feasible, isn't it? Mate, I was looking at the Makita DM 330Z, right? lovely bit of kit. And he said that this one I've got has got more power. Does it feel powerful to you? Phil Edison at the moment, the fucking mains have gone. I've either got to replace the plug or fucking throw it in the skipper pool at the end.

Just say this is what it is now. We're at an endless relationship. I'm sorry. Count my losses and move on. Look, I'm sorry that's happened to you. I'm very, very sorry that's happened to you. And this ingrowing hair, by the way, is really what I mean. Let's move on to that. Okay, go on.

So, you know Jim, our mutual friend Jim. Yeah, I'm amazed that he's got some sort of connection to this story, but anyway go on. No, but yeah, I mean hopefully he won't mind me telling this story because he told me it and now I'm not sure if it was in confidence. So this ingrown hair I'm really worried about because Jim had one on his back

that he sort of left for a while and then he had to have a big operation to get it out. They're actually quite serious in growing hairs by the way. Yeah, I'm not suggesting they're not. So my worry is that this thing is not, I can't get it out, nay, with tweezers or with fingers. Right. Is that what you're supposed to do, self-treat?

Well, I think you can usually just pull them out and it comes out in a little loop. I've watched enough videos on TikTok about it. Is your hair going, is it like a little rainbow of hair? Like it's growing out and back in? It goes within. Yeah, you can see a tiny little bit of it popping out, the rest of it's growing in.

But if it grows too, one of my friends, he lost his leg because of one. He got infected. Okay, all right. And he couldn't get it out and he was too embarrassed to go to the doctor. Well do you think he should go to the doctor? Well I don't know, he's not looking that infected at the moment.

Yeah I know, but you don't want to wait till it does get infected do you? Well that's my worry as well and if I get in a sea and a little bit of dirt gets in it and something. Yeah, it's not ideal. And it's just, yeah. I mean I don't want to freak you out, particularly in the mood that you're in today but um. Have you had any grown hair before? Well I'm nervous to say but touch wood no I haven't. You've never had any grown hair before? No. What? What, sorry does this make me some sort of, why are you getting aggy about it? I don't know but I don't know anyone else of our age has never had any grown hair before. Well

maybe I haven't. Have you never, no you don't, have you never had any grown hair before well maybe I haven't never but have you never you know you know you never wanted your panty line no as you know I'm completely hairless down there even you've got quite hairy bum though haven't you I don't know actually is it quite hairy you must have said you've already seen it more than I ever imagined don't think you must be like when you rub your hands over it? No, I don't rub my hand. I don't rub my hands over my arms. Maybe it was for Tommy. But check now. Check now. No, it doesn't feel that hairy actually. In fact, it almost

feels hairless. You're joking. No, but I envy that you're lucky Brit. That's such a fuck. You've really rolled a double six there Well, what I would say is I it may be hairless, but it's also fleshless. I mean You've got you've got I hope you don't mind me saying this a really nice ass It just sort of it just if it has that it sort of hangs nicely that When you look at you in in profile, it's just sort of gives you has that, it sort of hangs nicely. That when you look at you in profile, it just sort of gives you a nice little kind of silhouette.

Whereas I, I have no ass whatsoever. No ass whatsoever. I've been trying to squat my way through it, but it turns out I've looked it up, it's genetics. Can't you grow your ass with squatting? Is it not growing? You can to a certain degree, but I think if your starting point is where mine is,

you know, it's good. What mine is too, sort of thing, yeah. On a gradient. Yeah, I mean, I am sharing an insecurity, you know that, right? No, no, no, no. Yeah. Mate, I'm sharing one.

Look, I might have a little bit of a better ass, but let me tell you, once, if we were like, going back to the lawn mowing analogy, right, you've got a fucking finely mowed lovely looking fucking lawn Mine is a you know when you go to go past a nice house and there's like fucking bath and a fucking Disgusting like overgrown lawn Fucking like some kids toys that used to be red and blue now just sort of colorless. Yeah, cuz the rains got to them That's what my fucking ass is like

That's not money's like a disheveled disgusting old fucking overgrown garden. Oh and like yeah About waxing I've shaved it I've waxed it. Yeah, but then it's like, you know for actually upkeep I probably also with that analogy. I my garden is in a street where very few people walk down It's only really me who lives there. It's only me that looks out the window. Yeah, but I'm not suggesting it's a high traffic area. But I just mean- But you've got a perfect moon ass.

You've got a great ass to moon with. Why's that? Like, if you moon, if you moon at someone, right, out of the car, as you and, say you and Martin Toosmuth are driving down the street, and you see some people, and you're like, watch this, mate. And he's like, fuck, man, what are you doing, bro some people and you're like watch this Martin and he's like fuck man what are you doing bro and then you're

like you pull out your cherry right and sort of like hang it out the window. Which is to be fair very on brand for me. And people go oh you cheeky scamp and laugh and go that was a bloody... if I do it people and I go oh hey Martin what's this and he'd go and then I pull my arse out and I go, oh, Martin, what's this? And he go, ah-ha, and then I pull my ass out. People go, oh, fucking hell, ugh, that's, yeah. Just people vomiting into a bin. Have you ever moaned at anyone? Of course I have.

I've worked on building sites for 20 years. Oh yeah, fair enough. Of course I have. Yeah, fair enough. Every time that, there was an argument, that was my go-to. Yeah, no, it makes sense. Two people had an argument, I was in, if I was in a lorry with or just to diffuse it

Yeah, just to sort of get a bit of laughter going. So it's sort of yeah I mean I thought that this is a window very sweet strategy. Very sweet. Yeah. Yeah. I see sometimes think with politicians You know, you had the bullet, you know rich in care going into it Maybe it'll be quite music. I watched a bit of it. I was fucking. I mean, to be fair, I like, yeah, they're two very bland guys, aren't they? They're not, you know, I didn't find it very, you know, I kind of like that at the moment, if I'm honest with you, after the dickhead that's in some of the fools that we've had,

I've got, you know, I don't know much about politics. If I'm honest with you, I didn did enjoy Farage getting that fucking milkshake tossed all over him. Actually, while we're talking about politics, the lookalike thing, right? You know, I sent you this last night. Oh yeah, actually, actually, let's just, I just wanna get. I've had, I've been inundated, I'd say now

well over a thousand times, across all my social medias. Okay, let's start with this. Even now, creeping it. Just to give us a bit of context, There's a clip and it's politics Joe Yeah, they're talking to our politics show, but can I just say I think politics Joe is a genuinely brilliant place Yeah, it's a really good place for people. Yeah, so anyway, so there's a guy that looks like Tom Tom sent this and he said I've been sent this loads of times. I then clicked onto it. I'm just gonna play this in all right because No, I say doesn't just look like me? No. It sounds like you. If you close your eyes, it sounds like me as well.

The way he talks, everything about him is very like you, so let's have a listen. Yeah. I'm an Englishman in England and I don't feel like I'm an Englishman in England. Let's have it right. And I'm not afraid to say so. What do you feel like? I'm fed up with it. I feel like a foreigner in my own country. That's what I feel like. And do you think that's fair? Tell me why. Why do you feel that way? Well because we're surrounded by foreigners. That's why. Here? Not in Clacton. Why do you think everyone's moving out of

London to move to seaside towns? Do you think they want to? Trevor Phillips, the black politician, yeah? He said about people moving out, moving out, moving out. So is he racist? Is he wrong? Do you think you've been left behind? 100%. Of course we have. Erm, it's like, well, I mean, a couple of things on that. First of all, I would say his cadence, the way he talks is like

you. His voice is like a combination of you and your impression of me actually. Yeah, it does sound like I've tried to sort of get away from it being me by doing an impression of you. Yeah, but the other thing I'd say is it's just so depressing that people think like that, isn't it? I mean it's just like... Also can I say that anyone who's got the money to move to a seaside town? It's like that what makes me laugh about that is the capital city was always a place of the working people for the majority Obviously now London is very expensive to live in whatever like but my family of all Londoners also As he would probably call foreigners because they come from Ireland to come and live here But what makes me laugh about that is the dream of everyone was to move out of the city and move a little bit further out.

That was seen as like, I don't know whether it's whatever capitalism or just doing a little bit better for yourself, but we've moved out from the flats and we've, like, yeah, I've, I mean, look, aside the fact that it is very worrying that someone who sounds like me and looks like me has those horrible opinions. I just sort of... yeah. It just worries me. Do you know what would have made my dream come true?

Is if at the end of it she'd have gone, you know, is there anything that does make you feel like you've got a bit of hope in the world? Yeah, I'm going to see Tom Davis tonight actually and he's something that's sort of, it's I saw someone in the media that sort of charged with my views. Oh my god. I love you Can I just say by the way? Yeah, he would have been at the Clapton show Do you know what you'd be surprised people that come to your show like people that come to shows that Because when I go watch a stand-up show, well let's not get into stand-up again, but when I go and watch a stand-up show, I don't care if I agree with the person particularly or not.

So it's not like, you know, making the assumption that everyone agrees with your views and everything, that's not the case. No, but that's, but also there's something to be said about, you know, not to get too deep into this, but I do think there's saying to be said about the fact now that the actual sort of like level of anger that I don't remember like growing up, I don't remember, I remember like people would be like Tory or people would be Labour, you know, socialists, whatever. And people will be able to have a healthy

discussion and an argument about that, right. And but that would be in a pub or whatever. And it wouldn't become very, very toxic. It would just be like a discussion about this is what I believe and this is what I believe. And it wouldn't get to the point where it felt like it was almost like untenable and it would almost sort of boil over into physical violence. And it feels now, and I don't know whether that is because of social media or whatever, it feels like that actual area of discussion is completely gone now. Like there's no way of just going like, you know, wow, you know, this is what I think, this is what I think you might get. It's the same almost at times with football, or any sort of, it feels like everyone gets so fucking, I remember like, you know, and I

won't name, but I remember discussing with a friend who I've talked about, I talked about in my show and whatever. And we were both talking about American politics at the time. And I was discussing with a friend I've talked about, I talked about in my show and whatever, and we were both talking about American politics at the time, and I was talking about one side, he was talking about the other, and he got so angry when we were discussing this, I was like, bro, this is just a healthy discussion. We're both saying our points of view, I'm listening to yours, you're listening to mine,

and he's like, yeah, but you're wrong. I was like, I don't need to listen to him. Yeah, that's what you believe, this is what I believe, that's like, Yeah, but you're wrong. I was like, neither of us. Yeah, that's what you believe. This is what I believe. There's not Yeah, that's your belief. If I, if you, if I can have some impact on what you think, or vice versa, and what one of us said, what one of us might go away and look at and go, I see that I had a point, but like, there's no reason to get angry about it. It's just a

discussion. I do think people people get passionate because I feel so strongly about things. But like, and then when you're when you're sort of having a go at somebody not having a guy when you're pushing back on what? somebody believes Yeah, you should people get defensive don't they but I do feel like having a discussion without sort of getting Aggie is a good way forward Yeah, I watched I watched the debate well Rob Rob Beckett and myself

were co-hosting the, you love this actually, Tom. Actually, I haven't told you this. This is gonna blow your mind. Rob Beckett and I co-hosted the Domino's Pizza Awards. Oh my God, that's a dream, right? You get free pizza? No, they didn't have any, there wasn't any pizza in the building, actually.

What? It's, what what it's insane Mm. I did get a free Domino's hat and some Domino's socks Socks yeah, they had like a Domino's merch still did they yeah, and they had like trainers all sorts Trainers Domino trainers. What make our it just don't know like a cola. They're not the ones I saw Why didn't you get those? I don't know. I just well I just went and did the gig and then left Do you mean not when did they ought to be lurking around trying to get some double-edged trainers and shit? Yeah

Yeah, I should have done really they look quite good though socks isn't funny But I mean, I suppose you come into the summer you can wear them and people will see them Yeah, but I don't know if I want to notice but about someone else a great company and what a remarkable set of franchisees We're winning awards there, but one of the awards might Incredible world's fastest pizza maker Right, I've seen it. I've seen it online Unbelievable. Yeah, you've got a crepe. You've got to do saleable pizza, as in it wouldn't get sent back, you know, it's like meets the requirements as fast as you can.

They're doing it in like 30 seconds, 40, no, 40 seconds. I get such a rush watching those videos. They cut together like a little VT package, lost my mind. I genuinely was impressed, like genuinely like, had to hold my hands. I went there and then- I hope you gave the person- Mate, Tom, you will be so proud of me.

I just went up to her and I said, that was remarkable, like genuinely. I'll take my hat off. She's annoyed coming from you that you were being honest. Yeah, yeah, people know that, you know, there's some people that just sort of every time they meet someone they go, you're the best person I've ever met in the world

or whatever. Right, you little snake, right, you snake. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm talking very generally. In a rally, right, I gave you a slow fucking forehand, right? It's like, you lose. All right, you're saying well, well, I'm talking very general in a rally Well, I gave you a slow fucking forehand, right? It's like here we go, bro Let's just fucking get a rally going and you know what you did You fucking snaked it and you're fucking absolutely leathered down with a drop shot. I couldn't fucking comprehend. Yeah, I've this you fucking asshole

Dick breath you hairy ass freak D*** breath. You hairy arse freak. Right, should we do some emails? Let's do a couple, G. Okay. This is from the anxious ant. Before we get into this email, have you watched any of my latest series of misadventures? Have I? No, no, no. I watched the first one. The Uganda one was the first one. Yeah, so Rwanda went out last time. Yeah, I thought that was, yeah. Okay, so. It was good you going to one.

It's quite, it's a, like, how you, like, I did a post about this, and I don't wanna go on and on, because it's one of the things that people put us up about is when we talk really nicely about each other. Yeah, people don't like it. Some people don't, for some reason. People actually get very angry about it.

I think the way that you manage, like, look, I've never traveled to any of those places. I've never been to anywhere sort of like that. But the way you manage to make these shows like really entertaining, funny to watch, but also lift the lid on like some of the atrocities and some of the sort of, you know, political feeling out there.

I just think it's so fucking genial. Oh, thanks. Genuinely, I think it're so incredible, man. And also I rate you for the fact that I'd be terrified in some of those places and you just seem to be quite chilled. But I do think you kind of get used to it. Oh, that sounded like such a... What I mean is, like, so when we did the first series,

we were in Haiti, I found it quite nerve-racking. But now I think you just get used to it. You do get used to it. And also you're very well looked after anyway The reason I mentioned is not just so that you would big me up like that But it's because this email is about misadventures, right? Okay, so hey guys So anybody's got into podcasts but working my way through from the start having enjoyed all the latest ones

I'm still hoping there'll be a dedicated to episode in the future, but I'll find out soon enough I hear me very disappointed. No, we didn't but Yeah, it's a shame isn't it? Cuz normally we do stick to stuff. We're gonna do Ow I'm watching the Rwanda episode Rwanda episode of misadventures and I'm shocked to see you claiming to be taking a poo outdoors with a view This goes against everything. I've learned about you say from a podcast really did it happen. How did you cope? Obviously, I don't think you actually did the poo while the camera panned out But still as someone with IBS I've long since had to throw in insecurities about doing the deed went out and about someone's house

I would almost call it freeing that said people with toilets right near the social area the worst I will say my worst IBS moment was pulling over to use a public toilet finding out was closed and having to take a shit In the car park as I left I realized it was also where someone's garden cell opened onto. No, garden gate opened onto. Wolf, I'm full of compliments I could give you but I fear that I'll spin the owl into a rage. Be you, anxious ant. So Tom, there was a... we went to this safari place. Yeah.

And we're camping at the top of this hill. Is this in the new series? This is in the new series, in the Rwanda episode. And there's a toilet that's like a cubicle in the new series in the Rwanda episode and there's a toilet That's like a cubicle, but the front is open and you're just looking out onto the plane So in the show they set a drone up and I was sat on the toilet with my pants around my ankles and they started All close up and then they just panned out over the view And the reason this person is

Messy is because as you know, I'm an anxious And the reason this person is Messy is because as you know I'm an anxious power and Yeah, you are a you're a poo in other people's homes. No and so this is like an open cubicle, but what I would say is Weirdly you're actually very lonely you're not lonely You're on your own because even though you're seeing this mad view nobody's there's nobody there German you're sort of no so Actually weird. I mean I didn't shit on camera obviously, but I did use that toilet Nobody's there's nobody there. Do you mean you're sort of no, so actually weird? I mean, I didn't shit on camera obviously, but I did use that toilet. What so you let away out? No, I did a poo

No, no like later on when the camera wasn't rolling. I Went and played that by the way. That's the idea my idea of heaven. Yeah, I mean it was good toilet It was good. Have you ever I mean I've shot a golf course on the golf course itself Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I've needed a shit of a golf course I've had a bit of a yucky tummy, but I still went out and played by 18 holes go around to the 12th We got through an absolute bits We not worried about yeah people sort of just playing around I ran into the woods. I did fucking shit on the fucking

Somebody hits into the rough and then they said I'd hope that they play with some decorum and get you know And let me sort of finish but you know also I went deep into the overgrowth I wasn't just sort of lurking around so people could see me. I was like, oh, I don't make you Could you paint the picture for me? So you go into you go into the woods Who you with a friend my mate of mine, okay, and you've said to him my this is I've said to him probably for three holes. I don't know if I can see the end of this Okay, he was keep he kept saying there was a toilet at the nightfall. Why didn't you use that? There's two types of friend in this situation. There's one who's sympathetic and is going literally jumping the buggies and head back or... We didn't, by the way,

I don't use a buggy unless I'm abroad. I think if you're using a buggy when you're playing golf you might as well play a computer game. I think you get out there to walk, enjoy nature. Yeah, shit works. I think a buggy will just speed around. Yeah, I understand. Yeah, okay. So, what type of friend was this person? So this person, I said that I needed a shit. He was like, there was a toilet at the 9th, you could have just gone there.

And I was like, I don't think I'll even make it back to the 9th. This is at 12, 13th hole. I certainly won't make it to the 18th. And at the moment the game was quite close, right? With it's neck and neck, yeah. But I'm starting to wade, because I'm getting that, sometimes a poor energy in some scenarios is quite good.

Because it makes you sort of like- It gives you a bit of urgency. Yeah, where golf it's not. Golf it's very much, you know, because you're sort of tense then you're free. You're loose and then you're tense. So I was like, I need to do this. I need to I need to extract this from myself So we get to a wooded more like a more wooded area. It's very overgrown

And then I just say that I need to go I'm gonna go in there and You know quite a big poo in the golf towel later. I'm done. I can't back out and I like even my hell of a game Did you wipe? Yeah, it's a bug off to add cap I'd stayed my thing that you clean your cups and your balls with. And then what did you do with that afterwards? Well yeah I put it in a bag and put it in my golf bag and then threw it in a bin when we got back to the clubhouse. Okay I mean look you were caught short. I think you did well.

Yeah, but my point being, to the anxious ant with IBS, it's, you know, you've got to go, you've got to go. You can't fuck with that. I've heard rumours of people blocking themselves up because they won't go, they just hold it inside themselves. And the toxins just eat them alive. You've heard of that, have you? Well, no, I've heard of people getting quite ill by holding too much poo in them. Look we are, we're a factory, our

bodies are factories right. They have access points you know there's points of like all the fucking mechanics and stuff that like keep you going but also there's a sewage valve and if you don't unleash the sewage valve everything gets backed up and the machinery shops working and that's how human nature is Do you know what? I've got to be honest with you. It made a lot more sense than I anticipated it would so fair enough fair play to you I doth my cat So I'm so pleased with a took a little sniff of X here, that's how that's how happy was Len over it's like a swig of a cigar

Yeah, have you got scars for the final night of your tour? Like a topping off ceremony? No, because I don't tend to enjoy them. So it feels a bit weird to... Want cigars? Yeah, when I was in America, I had a meeting. You know, in LA they have like bizarre meetings. I've not done LA,

so you're talking to somebody who's never been. Well, you've never been, but seem to be making bigger inroads into America than I could ever dream of. But you have these meetings and weird places, like it is very showbiz. So I got called to a meeting at a cigar club. Wow. So you go in there. You are a big cheddar at times and you fucking hold it down, but you are a big fucking cheddar.

No, I had a meeting. We do a fucking cigar, a fucking Emporium for a meeting. Yeah. That's like some fucking, that's like entourage vibes. Okay, well nothing came of it obviously because I'm here sat in my spare room doing a podcast. So, you know, if you want to know what the results of that meeting were. I just sat in Dartmouth by the way of this podcast. What well, I've done those, I've been to those meetings and got jobs from them. And I'm still fine. This is my favourite thing. I'll be devastated to lose this. But there's no job I could get. There is there is there is let me tell you this, when the

inevitable happens, you become a Hollywood star, which you are which is very much on the horizon. When you never what happens, I'm going to Hollywood star, there'll be no greater feeling than being in LA and doing this podcast with you back in Crawley. Oh, God. It'd just be unbearable. I just have to phone Flo and go,

just tell him the diary's too packed. No, I know it isn't. No, I know you're begging to get into it. Because I can tell you what person would get more joy out of that situation than me, and that's Flo. Ha ha ha. Okay, let's do this email. Hi, chap's been mentioned a few times over the past week,

the notion of hecklers at Tom's shows. Listen to another podcast today where hecklers came up again as two top acts currently either on tour or finishing up as well as having history in this area. Do you feel as if crowd behavior has deteriorated post-Covid or is it more led by social media and the desire to be included in the clips performers upload of their crowd work or entitlement? I remember National Theatre Show commenting on how crowds have forgotten how to behave, et cetera, post COVID. Not necessarily looking for you guys to dunk on fans, et cetera, but interested in your takes

as to active standups. Love the pod. Curious Chinchilla. Tom Davids. You know what, I think we, yeah, and it's a good point, and it's a good, but I think weirdly, like, we talk a lot about this, and it, because it is something that really grinds your gears.

But I think it number one, it's worth saying that in for Scarborough, as an example, the amount of people that there was a number of people came to the Sheffield show that we did, there's a number of people who've reached out. So there was one dickhead who shouted out, everyone else there was an incredible audience. So I've probably given too much airtime and too much oxygen to that one drunk dickhead who shouted something out. And I think actually, you know, when we do talk about it, it's the same thing as we talk about some of the trolling that we've had this week from the Crossroads Festival of, you know,

and I think actually that's maybe something that we should probably look at ourselves, is the fact that we, you know, in life I guess you zone in on some negatives rather than actually look at everyone who came there enjoyed it and actually the lovely message you get sent or the audience afterwards that have really, really enjoyed it, sat there and enjoyed the show without feeling the need to be involved. I think it's always been a problem, as long as I've been doing stand-up for a long, long time and it was something that was... Did you used to do the old, like, junglers that had stands? No, that was... those junglers gigs, right?

They were like... so I don't want to patronise people, but junglers are this chain of comedy clubs that were like very kind of... They were just rowdy weren't they? People would turn up on like a stag or something like that and they would do that before they went on somewhere. Hendoos were fucking barbaric. They were like well paid but you couldn't do any material, I think this is fair to say, I hope I'm not being unfair on Jonglers, but you couldn't do material that required any kind of level of thinking or kind of, do you know what I mean, you couldn't do quiet bits. You'd have to come out and... I'd often be saying at times you couldn't do any material because it was just like the Wild West.

Yeah. And then you started doing something like Glee and you're like, oh, this is what comedy should be like. Yeah, I know. But it was a good education and being harsh, I learned a lot doing Junglers gigs at times because it toughened you up and it gave you a bit of resolve and it made you get it flex another muscle. But those were barbaric and that was this is well before COVID. So my point being that I think that's always been there.

If you go back as far as, yeah, there would always be people who go to these things and think that, yeah yeah I think I mentioned before like my sister was actually out so that's oh yeah people people of comics love it when you heckle I don't know any comedian who likes you I think there's crowd work that's a different thing from heckling I think they're two very different things crowd work is I think I think you want to see the personal stage in control you want to see them working at the best of their abilities but sadly that I don't think it'll ever go anywhere I think you want to see the personal stage in control and you want to see them working at the best of their abilities. But sadly, I don't think it'll ever go anywhere. I think there's always going to be a helmet that just thinks if they shout something out.

But like I say, I think it's worth shouting out everyone who turns up at a show with the intention of just enjoying the show and sits there and enjoys it and laughs along. And I think that's and it looks like heckling actually actually we were at the Comedy Store on Monday great the for the Prince's Trust, which thank you by the way for thank you Very very no, no, thank you. Well, I can't say to you again. Shout out flow But my point like in that it was weird because then there is the other thing that you get is just people talking. You did you close the night, you did an incredible set. I was just closing the night and just trying to sort of thank everyone and there

was just like four ladies just having a conversation three rows back and you're like, okay, I get it. You know, the show is over. But just wait, just wait for a second yeah uh i'm literally gonna be i'm gonna be any longer than a minute here and it's it's easy to say right now because that i'm angry about an ingrown hair in the lawnmower and uh the heckling things passed down to about five yeah but um what do you think where do you stand with it i think when i when because i was on a tour that got postponed by covid for about a year Maybe you're a lot longer that's all felt so long and then when I came back people were so delighted to be back out that

You could feel a change in the atmosphere, but I don't I don't know I think part of the problem with comedy is is that when you go go and watch a theater show, and I can't comment on somebody, I've never performed in a play or anything like that, but when you go and do stand-up, you are basically, it is like a one-sided conversation. Unless you're playing a character, you are being yourself talking to the audience. And so I think that changes what they think

about what they're watching. You wouldn't start interacting with anyone at a play or anything like that But for some reason that stand up not for some reason I am I sort of understand the logic of it You sort of want to you sort of have this inclination to shout out and sometimes people are drunk and stuff like that And what I would say is I don't do crowd work on my tour shows I literally come out and I deliver the show and I leave that is it's just my choice

I don't have any issues with crowd work, but when people do heckle I Got I do tend to go in quite two-footed on them and the reason is it's not because I think that person's a prick I I Understand I mean I would never do it But I understand why you know you get caught up in the excitement of the moment you shout something out I tend not to try and be horrible to somebody but I do want them to shut up in terms of like I want the everyone around to have a good night and

I don't what I don't want is the heckler to suddenly think that they're part of it and then you're derailed off the show and You're dealing with this person because that is funny a couple of times, you know We've all had moments where you put a heckler down It gets a massive laugh and like everyone's having a good time If that starts to become a conversation it becomes a problem the show becomes worse as a result Yeah, and so your instinct when somebody heckles is Two things what I want to deal with this in a funny way but to I need this person to stop talking not because of me not because of any sense of like but because

It might it might make this everyone's paid to come and watch this They've not paid to come and watch two people having to go at each other They've come to watch a show and so you kind of conscious of that whenever anybody heckles to be honest with you I Deal with it in not in a harsh way, but I do it in a way that I want it to come to an end But I do also understand why that person has done it a lot. I don't think I don't immediately think that person's a fucking prick I just think you want to know out you've got excited Maybe this is your first time out a comedy night and you didn't know that this was a not the right thing to do

I just feel like it's just one of those things So I don't think people have forgotten how to behave I have noticed that like when you're doing a Saturday night people are just so Especially when they bought the tickets a while ago. They're so excited to be there There's sometimes it just comes out of them. Do you mean and I feel like yeah, it's a it's a tricky one because you do want You don't want that to become what the night is, but at the same time you don't want to completely destroy it. So you want everyone to enjoy it. And I think that takes away everyone's enjoyment.

Yeah, and they've paid as well. So they've got over-excited. Yeah. Yeah. Right, listen, that has taken us to the end. What a vintage episode this has been of The Wolf and Al. Thomas. It's been an absolute roller coaster of enjoyment.

Thank you so much. Oh my God, just non-stop, non-stop fun and education. Fun education. of the Wolf and Owl. Tom is... It's been an absolute rollercoaster of enjoyment. Thank you so much. Just non-stop, non-stop fun and education. Fun-ducation. Tom, could you do us... the honours have taken us out of the team, please. Bumblebees and fleas, toes and knees. Life's funny, huh?

Sometimes you look upon things, not knowing quite what you need. we take things for granted bees bring honey I'm not quite sure what fleas do but there's some aim to the game that they're helping out because that's what nature is my knees I know what they're doing they're helping me walk and bend but sometimes I look down on my toes literally but also subliminally and think what are you up to? What do you do? But they've got a job too.

The other day I broke my toe. Christ the pain. But also, it alienated the way that I walked. And that's the thing about life. Sometimes it's easy to forget what things are doing and people are doing, and you keep on walking by, and you keep on forgetting them. Everyone in the world has a job and a role. Sometimes that role is big and flash like a prime minister or a footballer like

David Beckham who's now become a philanthropist. Sometimes it's the small things, the guy picking up the litter at a station who gets no round of applause. They know staying in avation when he picks up somebody's disgusting Burger King for the night before or someone that's vomited because they were too drunk There's no adulation for this guy Every time you walk past the station or walk down the street and see see it you go. Oh, that's disgusting Why doesn't someone do about it? But where's his handshake when he does I guess what I'm saying is the smaller people in life the small enrolls I'm that small at all.

They're big and they're proud and should be held in society as such. So today when you're walking around keep an eye out for that person who's making our life a little bit more hygienic, no making it a little bit more easy. To the train driver, to the guy who's doing something that never gets a round of applause or a slap on the back Maybe walk past and say hey cares Dean Lisa Claire. Thank you. That was really kind And maybe the world will turn a little bit sweeter. It's actually very nice. It's actually really really nice work Well done really and I echo that sentiment really really nice Thank you for you to sort of just suppress your rage for those few moments and deliver something so yeah and now let you go and kick the shower lawnmower for the next 25 minutes yeah I have been listening

to a lot of Timbaland recently the super producer and some of his old tunes there's a song he did with Nelly Furtado called morning after dark which is oh I love this tune really really. If you haven't listened to Timbaland stuff for a while, his two albums Shot by the One and Two, great. And all his stuff with Justin Timberlake, great. All his stuff in Elif Tudok, great. I'll have a little peruse. I might even put my Timbaland boots and a pair of Domino's socks on with some low cut shorts and just fucking rock the day. Yeah I think that's a great, what a great visual to take us out on. JT could you play us that Timbaland tune? We will see you next time thank you so much for your patience in this delayed episode we love you very much.

Bye Zee bye. Peace. I'll be the same when it all goes up I'll be the same when it all goes down Not the first one open it up I'll be the last one closing it out Don't know if I give you a shot yet Look mama I'm beating your style Do I think you're dope enough? Yep, one way I'm finding it out The way you came and me bowed Don't care not afraid I'm like wow Really want it all head to toe Question is she gon' let it out Anyway now I was asked go I don't worry anyhow Why don't we see where it go? If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.