Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 3: Tech Meltdowns & Confusing Nicknames

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

It’s a shaky start to the show so hold on tight, this could be a bumpy ride!? We’re talking… computer conspiracies and internet issues, apocalypse movies, Rom growing his hair, tour show promotions, visiting Australia, split squats and a Bulgarian Top 10, Tom’s month in Vegas, not skiing, pretending to speak French, smelly campfires and a lot of confusion about an animal nickname. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A fresh voice can speak to you and open your ears and your mind to new views and new perspectives. The call of the wild, a crescendo of culture. Listen as a chorus of fresh voices moves you, taking you to greater heights. Add your voice to the mix and let fresh answer back with perfect harmony in pure Michigan. Keep it fresh at Michigan.org. Hey, I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice. Nice. What's it taste like?

It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah. Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today.

Yum. Yeah, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. We'll see you next time. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder Like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear is a huff, a puff And a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning

Just kidding, every word in this song Is about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog yo you recorded i'm recording yeah wow okay so welcome to the wall for now we've got a little bit of a situation here i'm gonna be honest i'm quite stressed out about it your laptop is is falling apart right well i don't know it's falling apart but it? Well, I don't know if it's falling apart, but it keeps kicking me out of Zoom. This is our fifth attempt at trying this. I think it's because my internet is janky. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because usually you're quite good at this sort of stuff, aren't you?

I don't think I can be blamed for the laptop kicking me out. Do you know what I mean? How old's your laptop? Like two, three years, four years, maybe? That's not... Mate, you know what I mean but how old's your laptop like two three years four years maybe that's not mate you know what's going

no no no no no it's rigged Apple rigged the game didn't they bro what do you mean well what it is right is Apple do it so your

laptop will stop working around the four year mark so you have to go and buy a new one I can't buy a new one are you joking no that's exactly

what I did. That's not sustainable. Well, it's sustainable, actually. Apple are doing all right, aren't they? But the point I'm trying to make... Yeah, but... You can't replace a laptop every four years. Mate, it's exactly what they do.

All of your Apple products after a four or five-year mark start failing. It's Steve Jobs' legacy. Wow. It's, like, literally everything I've ever had. iPads. I don't want to speak but that's fucked um yeah and also i don't know what's going on my internet man it's like

it's got slower i looked on i like did a testing this is so boring but i did the test of the router and everything and then it said your internet's slower than it used to be but it is above what we've guaranteed your speed should be oh man i'm in a real i'm in a trousers pulled down by all angles oh my god i'm getting absolutely turned over it's like all of the modern tech people have got together and just had it into you today yeah like okay well it's yeah it's quite barbaric in a way. It's weird doing this as a face, like this sort of thing as well. We'll see how this, I mean, we're at an hour operating on a delay, so whatever slow timing we had on this podcast anyway is going to be even slower, so I don't know what's going on.

Also, but anyway, welcome to the wall for now. Sorry, welcome to the wall for now. Thank you so much for joining us if this goes out who knows if it will do but what's hilarious

is you're sitting in like sort of this fucking souped up sweet sweet fucking recording studio that you've made well I know you're speaking freely because there's no video

I'm just in my office so yeah well but it's got a recording annex in it right no there's no recording annex in my office this is just like where i sit to work um but usually when you've been doing it in your bedroom or like theo's room it's been really banging yeah you know what you need to get is you need to get those little um uh boosters in that boosters mate i'm gonna go byload today

but there's no point because I'm listen mate where I'm right now I'm right by the router I'm going to come a bit closer

I mean if I was sat on top of it I wouldn't be getting a stronger signal do you know what I mean it's literally

something's up mate I mean like if this was the beginning of a movie like the King Kong or Godzilla would have attacked

the first village by now what does that mean what the hell does that mean normally i can follow your convoluted train of thought but how does my having bad internet mean that king kong would have attacked the first village well because it's now like your your your internet going down right your laptop going down these are signs right do you remember deep impact the film the lesser film of signs right do you remember deep impact the film the lesser film of the time right there's deep impact and there was another one yeah i'm again tyler did that yeah right two films going very close to each other i argue we think

deep impact is better a lot of people didn't because of steve tyler don't want to miss the thing so right which was about his daughter really yeah liftoff is that lifty Tyler yes what's she up to now I don't know I don't know I wish I'd not mentioned it right now I don't I don't I don't mean right now like what she's doing she's pre-sleeping she's in LA but I mean I wonder what she's doing career-wise yeah I don't know I mean she doesn't really have to do anything this year but anyway go on right anyway right what my point is is the moment you know like they that kid in deep impact clocks as a meteorite coming to earth yeah right it's in the first five pages your internet going down that's happened and that's so that what i'm saying is you need to get on top of this before

a meat like i'm not meteorite but something like your internet's completely folds well what i'm i mean what i would say is very rarely do you see an apocalypse film where the first signal is that somebody can't log on to their podcast do you know what I mean

but well you might do soon because podcasts are getting bigger and bigger now yeah that's a good point that's a good point Tom what do you think

what do you think of my hair well have you had something done to it I've not had anything done to it it's just I'm not having it cut because

as part of my are you going to go long I'm going to grow it out for the wolf and owl we'll see what happens yeah I got messaged about the extension thing you didn't get me

I still think it would look phenomenal with the extensions how long were you talking about for extensions how long to have them? Yeah. At first I was thinking like a bob. Now I think it would look kind of cute

if you got it down to your butt. Like that long hair. Yeah, yeah. I don't think so. But I'm just going to try. I'm going to see. While I'm on tour, I'm going to grow it out and see what happens.

What do you reckon? Are you going to cut it at all? Yeah, I'm going to grow it out and see what happens what do you reckon i just are you going to cut it at all or yeah i'm going to get it like a little bit trimmed up because because apparently you're going to an awkward stage do you know what i mean but i'm thinking like i'm going to get through that awkward stage like a puberty stage of your hair well it's just like it's going to grow out all here isn't it do you know what i mean so i've got to try like your hair is just going to be walking around like kicking stuff and sort of not doing what you tell it to. Well, kind of. I mean, yeah, a little bit.

That is kind of what it's going to do. Yeah, yeah. Is it pre-pubescent? Yeah. Well, pubescent, I don't know. But anyway, the point is I'm going to grow it, like, I think, like, to the length, what do you think, to the length that I look like

I'm lead singer of an 80s rock band? Yeah, a little cool, actually. Yeah. But does your hair go down or up? It goes up and out really. Yeah. Yeah. So you'd have to sort of really,

sort of brush it down and sort of like, it's going to take some controlling. Yeah. It's also going to take about two years. How long's the tour a year? Well, best part of a year, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it'd be interesting to see what's, what, are you going to keep growing the beard as well? No, I'm not, no. I see what's like what are you going to keep growing the beard as well no I'm not

no I've got to look like you could rename I don't want the whole thing to look like just an accident do you know what I mean

I'm just sort of like because you could end up by the end of your tour looking like Forrest Gump you know when he's running around the world that could be your vibe man

yeah yeah I'm a bit I'm a bit thrown by this whole internet thing I mean what what do I do I've got

you know you've got to do what I did man like number one there's some amazing souls who listen to this who are in the internet game and they could they could reach out

and help you out but you've got to let them into your heart as I did right well no what you do is you made a complaint and then they got in touch

the company got in touch and sorted out and then you gave them a shout out like a little corporate sellout that's what you did was you made a complaint and then the company got in touch with you and sorted it out and then you gave them a shout-out, like a little corporate sell-out. That's what you did. It wasn't a corporate... No, I gave the guy a shout-out who was phenomenal. He was a beautiful man. Right?

Now, what my point is, is right now you are in the fucking... You're in the mix, mate. Because they're basically saying, your internet is not working for what you need it to do, right? But they're using that corporate jargon of saying, oh, don't worry, Mr Reagan, I think it's shit, but it's not shit as it would be for us to have to give you a refund. It's shit, but we guaranteed shit.

So you've got what we promised. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Essentially, it's like they've given you your food, but they've forgotten your chips. But they're like, well well you've got your vegan burger so what are you fucking whinging about yeah

how have you been apart from aside the internet how have you been well I've been quite stressed out about the internet to be honest with you but

has this happened before today yeah I was doing an interview with Nihal on 5 live and like it was on zoom and it cut out

a couple of times during the interview on live radio oh wow and then and then i did uh lisa's favorite podcast parenting hell yesterday and that was a bit that was you're doing a lot of press for your tour right well i'm trying to sell this tour out mate i mean i i do you know i mean there's a couple of dates that need a little bit of uh a little bit of love do you mean i don't know what they are but um you know it I mean? There's a couple of dates that need a little bit of love. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what they are. But, you know, I'm on that grind, you know? Yeah, but you're an arena comic now, so it's, like, big for you.

You're a big dog. You're a big, yeah, you're a big Alsatian out there now. What people won't know, especially as we don't have video, and we certainly wouldn't put this particular clip out Tom's got like a little smile on his face like he's pretending to compliment for audio

but the video tells a completely different story it's a real shame I can't put this up the horrible little snaky move by you

no no but you are you're an arena this is arena it's an arena tour you're going to have like a massive team

going out with you which is exciting only for the arenas I'm not doing exclusively arenas but anyway yeah yeah but it's nice though

it's exciting are you trying to give me anxiety is that what you're trying to do is that the aim of this no no mate I've seen your show it's fucking banging it's exciting

it's very exciting you should be ready to fucking people should be ready for the fire because Romesh Reaganathan is bringing it around the UK and then potentially further

afield okay well I'm going to Australia in October do you want to come with me well yeah I'd love to how long are you going for

a month are you going with the family no I mean the trouble is if I go out there I'm going to have to actually work out there

so then it's like I'm following your way you're going to sell all the tickets they're'm going to have to actually work out there. So then it's like I'm following your way. You're going to sell all the tickets. They're not going to come and see me and you. Yeah, but you can come and do like meeting groups and stuff like that. You meet up with all these people. Basically going there as your PA. Not my PA.

You're not required to do anything, do you know what I mean? Apart from just sort of smile and look pretty. And then kind of just, you know, like all of the people in Australia that you promised to take out for a pint or whatever that you thought would never... Mate, I can think of nothing better than going out to Australia

and get drinking and having a good time with all the people I've promised that for and just hanging around with you. I do, however, think if I turn to Catherine and she'd go, oh, I'm going to go out for the whole of a month to Australia.

Oh, are you gigging there? No, no, no. I'm probably actually going to get sort of like, spend quite a lot of money hanging out with Romination. Oh, my God. Hanging out with Romination.

That's what we call you in our house. As in Rom-an-Asian? No, Romination. Oh, okay. Like, you know, Rom-the-Asian. And then it's basically turning up and just lurking about with you

and being a batter out of shots and I basically end up just being like fucking what's his name Mark Owen for the whole time

I'm out there lurking about with you and Gary Barlow what are you talking about Mark Owen was a you say Mark Owen didn't do anything

to take that Mark Owen and Jason Orange would be nicking their living just lurking about with Gary Barlow now. Oh, my God. Shots fired, man. Shots fired. No, I'm just saying. I'm just saying.

They're basically backing singers for Gary Barlow now. And look, Barlow's got some talent, but, you know, I don't look at take that as being like... I look at take that as Gary and Mark... And look, they're lovely boys I think Mark Owens is a lovely man if any of them

I'd like to just take out I think he's probably vegan like you from what I can gather if I was going to take anyone out for some like

you know edamame beans and like soup and broccoli and stuff it would probably be like you and Mark Owens but like

I don't think he's as in the front row as Gary Bowles so well done for naming names. So let's be clear. When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? Mm-hmm.

The answer is FedEx. Okay. But what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Okay, but what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx. Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx. Oh, but let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx. Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx, where now meets next. standards and not everybody has what it takes. Vanderpump Villa has first-class luxury and world-class drama. I'll be there, will you? Vanderpump Villa premieres April the 1st,

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I've just been doing a tall warm-ups. i actually i'll tell you what did happen to me i um i went and did a leg day with the swan as in like we went to pt and did legs yeah and the pt said chrissy said we're going to do like split squats and we're going to try and increase the depth of your squat and all this stuff i ended up doing like it was pretty hardcore anyway that was on friday i still can't comfortably sit on a toilet today as i'm talking to you like like split squats are hard man they're the hardest ones bulgarian squats they call them yeah bulgarian squats bulgarian split squats but i don't like to sort of you know i think they split squats, but I don't like to sort of, you know, I think they're for everybody, so I don't like to attach a nationality to them.

You know, it's whatever. Yeah, you know. But the Bulgarians invented them. Bulgarians could do a little bit of a shout-out now and again for the shit that they've done. They haven't brought a lot to the world, so... I mean, first of all, it's an incredible thing that you would say, that they've not brought a lot to the world.

Secondly... Oh, no. But nothing as big as inventing the split squad. That's massive for them as a nation. Well, I don't even... I've been to Bulgaria numerous times. It's a lovely country full of beautiful people. But if you turn around to them and say,

what are you most proud of? Well, we invented the split squad. I don't think they'd say, we're most proud of the split squad. Well, no. Obviously, because they did some amazing stuff during the Second World War. They've done some incredible bits and bobs during that over time right but the split squat is what

they're synonymous with that and probably berbatov and soichkov i mean i i don't even sometimes it i can't even believe the lack of knowledge that we have on this so we that we talk out loud about stuff what hold on let me just look this up. What is Bulgaria famous for? I'll bet it's one of the split Scots in the first five things. Okay. If not the first two. What is Bulgaria famous for?

Oh, Plovdiv. Have you been to Plovdiv? Yeah, I've been to Plovdiv, yeah. I told the story over here of Plovdiv. Oh, yeah, you did, yeah. That's why I remembered that. What is Bulgaria famous for? Ten things Bulgaria is famous for. Okay, you ready? Yeah, go on, hit. That's why I remembered that. What is Bulgaria famous for? Ten things Bulgaria is famous for.

Okay, you ready? Yeah, go on, hit me. Yeah. Black Sea beaches. Yeah, very nice. But ruined by the English, by the way. Yeah. You've ruined them.

Okay. You're distancing yourself. You ever see that show? Was it called Sunny Beach or something like that? It was about Bulgarian and people going out partying there. No, I didn't see that. It was on Channel 4. Yeah. Number two, skiying there. No, I didn't see that. It was on Channel 4. Yeah.

Number two, ski resorts. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but these aren't legacy things. It's like every country's got these sorts of things. Not every... Okay, Plovdiv. Okay, like, probably Plovdiv. I mean, if they're holding...

Arguably, I've done a split squat and I've been to Plovdiv. One of the oldest cities in the world. Yeah, yeah. I will also say that it needs a bit of've been to Plovdiv. One of the oldest cities in the world. Yeah, yeah. I will also say that it needs a bit of a refresh. Plovdiv. Oh my God. No, it does. It's like a little bit like,

it needs a little bit of TLC. Yeah, but they've got to keep it like looking traditional. Stick a couple of new hotels in there. Vegas it up a bit. Okay. I think you'll get a lot more people going. That's exactly what Plovdiv needs, yeah.

Be a bit more Vegas. Can I just say, while we're sort of talking about places, Vegas, if anybody can survive spending more than three days there without going insane, I'll be...

I spent a week there for Robber Romish Versus. That place, man, it's not good for your health, just generally. Mate, I went... Do you know, when I was 21, I went for a week there for Robber Robbers versus that place, man. It's not good for your health. Just generally. I went, do you know when I was 21, I went for a week there.

Right. And then it's outspended a month instead. And that's that's that's. Do you know what that, do you know, like sometimes when you like hear about somebody, like somebody that's always been a bit sort of strange or they're a bit wide, a bit differently.

And it's because they had like one big night out or they were dropped on their head as a kid or whatever, or they took something and never really came down from it that explains a lot about you i i i think i think your month in vegas was formative i mean it answers a lot of questions about you know like if somebody said oh do you know about um do you know about uh tom's like he spent a month in vegas never been the same since honestly like in what way he just sort of makes up shit and um

do you know he like when he's having stomach problems he sticks a pebble up his ass you know stuff like that mate

they say he never really fully recovered from that four weeks in Vegas it was a pretty wild time I've got to say it was a pretty wild time what was the

what was the maddest thing you did out there uh I don't know what I could time, I've got to say. It was a pretty wild time. What was the maddest thing you did out there? I don't know what I could say or what I could admit to on this podcast. We went to this mad rave in the middle of the desert and then had no way of getting home. And it took us a day and a half to get walked back to Vegas from where we were, trying to hitchhike. Like, stopping at weird little places

it was fucking mad and then basically sort of yeah got jumped in a car park by a load of sort of like do you remember bum fighting do I remember what? bum fighting yeah it was a massive thing in the

late 90s early part of this and it was basically it was like early internet shit. And it was like, these arseholes would go out and they'd basically give like... I mean, it was ambiguous, but it was definitely homeless people. But basically, they put a plate of beans down on the floor and two blokes had to fight for the food. This is one of the worst things I've ever heard. Yeah, I wasn't like involved in it I'm just saying

that like we basically were walking through and this guy basically like off of like wanted to fight me for and I was like I didn't want to fight him

and hold on this guy seemed that you were a bum a vagrant yeah I think so okay and then he basically

launched himself at me and sort of my friends even though you weren't homeless thinks yourself a quite fancy plate of booze well yeah

but also I had money and I was sort of like I wasn't broke it felt fucking a bit of a low giving him a kick in and then eating his food

so I sort of basically in the end it got broken up and they sort of explained to him that I wasn't a vagrant I just was sort of on a bit of a sort of I'd been on a bit of a wild night and I was and they sort of explained to him that I wasn't a vagrant I just was sort of

on a bit of a sort of I'd been on a bit of a wild night and I was a bit sort of rough and runny and he got the food but yeah it was a big thing

it was a horrible thing I can't believe you don't remember it it was like a really horrible part of the society for a while no I've got no I've no concept

but Vegas is Vegas is a wild I adore it but I don't know if I could ever go back yeah I don't think you should although it might knock you back

you might come back just like really sort of like when you bang your head and if you bang your head again it sort of yeah that's what I'm saying what I'm saying is

maybe you need to go for another month in Vegas yeah again I think like planning out my year this year if I go for a month with you in Australia

and then take the cafe when I get back I want to spend November in Las Vegas yeah I think I might go back to spend November in Las Vegas. Yeah. I think good. I might go back there this year in July

for the fight week. That could be quite fun. Yeah, maybe that'll, maybe that'll change. You might come back different. Although you'd be less lovable, I think. What?

Yeah, no, no, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Go on, hit me with Bulgaria. I'm just going to wait for the rest of these. Home of the Thrasians. Yeah.

Thrasians is their army, by the way. Rose. Thrasians is, yeah. the way Rose Thrasians is that yeah Rose Oil Rose Oil fucking hell

Bulgaria's a worldwide leader in producing roses in Rose Oil yeah Rose Oil there it's lovely I've had a bath with it it's beautiful

arguably say a split squat it's being used a lot more than Rose Oil but anyway okay Hot Springs what oh man what are they hanging on to here say a split squat is being used a lot more than a rose orb but anyway okay hot springs what oh man what are

they hanging on to here who's done this list what idiot's done this list some sort of Bulgarian travel

age thing next one they should have let me bloody do this next one for you well you just have split squats in all

10 entries number 7 Bulgarian yogurt Bulgarian mate I've had their yogurt it's not even it's not any better

than the yogurt we've got I wouldn't be shouting from the rooftops about yogurt if I was them they've got a load like the split squats

are dead oh look I think that this person's obviously someone who's never done a split squat it's incredible

what a split squat does okay number eight Cyrillic script what was that um okay uh number eight Cyrillic script what was that what even is that the Cyrillic why are you getting so angry

what is your problem with Bulgarians I love Bulgarians but I'm it doesn't sound like it doesn't sound like any entry that isn't fucking split squats

you're getting laggy I'm gonna tell you now Rom I've spent more time in Bulgaria than you have alright definitely yeah sure yeah

yeah certainly I've never been so it's than you have, all right? Definitely. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Certainly. I've never been. So it's not a massive accolade. I spent a month to six weeks of a year for three years in a row in Bulgaria. So that is my... Yes, I know. I know. You guys were taking advantage of the cheap filming out there.

Yeah, I'm fully aware. You exploited the workforce out there. Yeah, you don't have to tell me. Mate, they're an amazing workforce. And I keep in touch with each and every one, well, not all of them, because some of them didn't like me. But look, quite a lot of them, right? the workforce out there yeah you don't have to tell me right they're amazing workforce and i keep in touch with each and every one all of them because some of them didn't like me but look quite a lot of them right so yeah i will say this a lot of them didn't fight like they they didn't quite get my way they they're quite a masculinity is a big thing over there yeah there's quite a sort of

like pseudo aggression when it comes to sort of like they didn't quite get the self-derogatory thing and they used to laugh at sort of when I got scared and stuff quite a lot out there. I had a similar situation where when I did the Albanian misadventures. Yeah, I mean, Albanians are really tough. Well, they're tough, but also they didn't understand my humor at all no like like they

just don't get like i think they sort of feel like a comedian's got to be like high energy and sort of all over the place have you ever watched any have you seen watched any of their comedy no i haven't is it good no no it's very yes very that it's very big and in your face but they're very like funny people but there's a lot of like no they were nice but they couldn't understand one how i was a comedian and two how i was being allowed to host a bbc show with the way that i was i mean they found it absolutely mystifying and then i went and did like um it's in the show it's in the actual show i went and did like their version of this morning or and um while the the guys were interviewing me apparently in the gallery they sent to me

they're saying to them is he ill what why is he being so I do remember like no energy when when we were translation when we were filming action team out there we had to do a stunt where I had to jump from a bridge onto the back of a train so he was like me jumping from this quite high bridge onto a, in the end, it was like a crash mat. But the bridge was very high and I was sort of chatting to James, the director, and Andy Burton, the producer, saying about how quite, how scared and terrified I was.

And sort of Andy had to go to sort of the stunt team and some of the other sort of bog-earing crew and said, oh, look, you know, we might have to look at a stuntman doing this because Tom's a bit scared uh and the the roar of laughter that came from these guys and they would and it wasn't like it was like behind my back one of them just came up and went um uh i spoke to the producer he says that you are scared and then he just started laughing and i went yeah no it's quite scary because it's a big fall onto a crash mat

and I'm not really trained with that. And he went, so you're scared. And I was like, yeah. And then he went back and told everyone. And they all individually sort of came over sort of just asking if I was scared. And it wasn't like in a sympathetic way. They all wanted to hear it from the terrified horse's mouth

that I was really scared. Have you just done a thumbs up? Have you just done a thumbs up to that no that wasn't me that wasn't me I don't know where's where's this from

I don't know I've not done that if have I that's mad I've been hacked we're just on a FaceTime and I there's been a

okay I'm just going to whip through this oh okay come on number nine famous landmarks and UNESCO sites. Number 10, famous Bulgarians. So nothing about Stoichkov or Berbatov by name, which is a bit...

Well, they've named famous Bulgarians. Actually, Stoichkov is in there. Stamen Grigorov, the scientist who discovered the bulkhead no uh grigor dimitrov tennis player yeah veselin topolov chess grandmaster um nina de brev actress uh what about hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up i can just about just about fathom why there is like no mention of split squats but if you are telling me now that the person who's invented split squats hasn't even been put in there i will literally i don't know if i could i don't i'll never go back to bulgaria oh no hold on listen uh andrew heber of Inventory of the Split Squad. Is that really, is that true?

No. Oh, you prick. Is Andrew Heber of the guy who invented them though? No, I just made that name up. Well, that's a good name. I love the idea that his name would be Andrew. That's a really good, touche, sir, touche.

While talking about manliness uh this week weekend i went to uh went out to switzerland and france to film something i'm not really allowed to talk about but uh have you been have you done the ski whole ski thing before you you're you've been skiing haven't you not really i did like i did i did a bit of skiing when I was a kid. And then I did some skiing for Misadventures when we went to Bosnia. But I was shit. Why's that? Yeah, I mean, it's a fucking hard thing to do anyway.

I look at it and think, I've never been, I haven't got the time. As a big man, as a tall man, it's just almost impossible. But the whole fucking rigmarole of it is insane is insane isn't it the size of it for every like i didn't realize i've never been i've never been to a ski resort i quite like the snow i've got to say i enjoyed that vibe enjoy how the snow looks enjoy the look of it all i just and i'd like to go back but i just don't think i would never be able to ski i just haven't got that in me um and then then is it weird if you go to a ski resort and you're there and people go oh have you been out on the slopes and you're like no i'm just here because i like snow uh yeah i think that's super weird yeah

do you really well i mean what to spend that money to go out there and just like what were you doing you're just doing the i say at pro ski at pro ski suggests after skiing but you wouldn't be doing any skiing so you just be we are there. Well, yeah, I'd just be, yeah, yeah. What would you do? Just hang about? Apres, apres means after. No, I know,

I know, that's what I'm saying. No, yeah, because I always thought apres meant like drinking. My God. What? Can I just say this, by the way?

This is an interesting one. So I don't speak a lot of French, which might shock you, but what I did notice when you were out there right because where we were was nearly all French people because we were in France

what I noticed right is if you just say like come up to me and pretend you're a French person just say that yeah just smile bonjour bonjour

if you do that they'll laugh along. And then you haven't got to say anything else. But they think you probably are quite French. They all sort of like smile, laugh. I don't think they think you're French. It's more likely they think you're Lenny from My Cement. No. I found a way

of breaking, like, I was always like, bonjour, like quite nervous, but the more relaxed I was, bonjour. That's,

yeah, I think they would have thought you've got some sort of issue. Really? I don't think they think you're French, mate. I just found walking around.

You go bonjour and then you just go bonjour and start laughing. Yeah, no, but, That's fucking insane. No, it's not when you go, hello, mate. Yeah, if somebody did that to me, I think, what the hell's going on? Really?

If I said hello to you and you went hello and started cracking up, I'd go, what's the problem? Right. When we were walking around the slopes, right, and I'd walk past people and I'd sort of see someone or they'd give me a bit of a look, I'd go, bonjour, like that. And they felt like, it felt quite like a nice thing. Like they sort of, oh, friendly hearty laugh at the end of it.

You know, like in sort of, I don't know, like sort of the old times when you'd sort of go into a, like, I don't know what they call like pubs out in France, Le Pouob's I guess but if Le Poob's Le Poob's

Le Poob's if they if they didn't go if they didn't go in and there's a guy behind the bar and it's a warm heart hello

bonjour yeah I don't know like it meant everyone like a lot of people we were with were like oh fucking hell people are really like you don't they sort it meant everyone like a lot of people we were with

were like oh fucking hell people are really like you don't they sort of people were laughing along with me I think you were in your own

sort of creative version of the Truman Show where you sort of felt like everybody was really getting on with you and the people that you're with thought that you were

really smashing it when actually what was probably happening was there was a story going around about some sort of like lunatic that's sort of wandering around the resort do you know what I mean and about some sort of like uh lunatic that's sort of

wandering around the um the resort do you mean and they just sort of quite a lot of people don't engage him but just if he starts laughing just laugh along well it's quite interesting it's quite a few people ask me for directions as well which i thought i actually took as a big compliment so they probably thought i looked french and french people are quite cool and stylish so what did you say when they asked for your directions? Bonjour. But people come up and ask me for directions

in French and then I'd say, ah, ça va? Non, non, non, non, non,

non, non, no, no, no, no. And then would you start laughing? No,

no, no, I'd be quite serious then. No, yeah, that would be a horrible thing to do. If someone asked you for directions and you go,

I don't know, then start talking up a couple came up and started speaking quite quickly in French I think there are from what I could like as a tanker

after a minibus I said no mini no no no no minibus and I sort of made a motion like I was driving no no no so maybe they thought I was a minibus driver

I don't know again could be seen as a compliment because I don't drive so but then I'm covering an alert of someone who might which is sort of quite nice bus driver i don't know again yeah it could be seen as a compliment because i don't drive so but then i'm covering a lot of someone who might which is sort of quite nice to think that's how people think of it you don't know listen you know i i think it's good for you to find positives where you can man and the fact that they mistook you for a minibus driver for you to take that as

something that would give you a boost i think is a real you know it's a real it's a real sign of what a wonderful person you are. But also, while we were out there, we did a bit of camping. Most overrated thing ever in the world, I'd go as far as to say, campfires. Okay, why? They're quite nice to actually sit around, toast some marshmallows on, toast a bit of chocolate. And that's all that anybody thinks they're good for. So there you go.

So when you say overrated actually what campfires are is perfectly rated mate but they will ruin everything that you're wearing

and essentially your hygiene for three days afterwards I still smell the smoke now why would they ruin your hygiene

because I've had like showers I still smell the smoke like it's in me and I haven't even got hair but it's in me the smell of smoke

it's in my pores it's ruined a lovely fucking jacket and't even got hair. But it's in me, the smell of smoke. It's in my pores. It's ruined a lovely fucking jacket and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. Did you think about moving around to the other side of the farm away from the direction that the smoke was blowing into? Well, in a usual situation, I would have done, Ramesh. But in this situation, as you're well aware, having done a lot of these travelogues, the camera angle was at me,

and I couldn't really turn around after they'd set the cameras up during the night in the fucking snow and go oh excuse me i'm getting snow marks like smoke on me can we tell you know i felt like that's a bit of a shit move yeah so okay that is a shit move so actually the point you want to make is filming by a campfire is overrated yeah the truth is if you if it was so what you've done there is you've taken a situation where you had to sit in the smoke and you've blamed the campfire for that. When actually in reality, you can just move, but you can't because you're filming,

because you're Mr. Showbiz, a secret project you can't talk about. And you're having a go at the campfire. It's not the campfire's fault, is it? If I was down the pub and, I don't know, I saw like some marshmallows, some sticks, a tent, and then the campfire's like sat on its own, just like looking all miserable and sorry for itself.

I got to the campfire and you go, you all right, man? You go, well, not really, no. It's like somebody's been spreading a horrible, somebody's spread an horrible rumour about it. You go, well, what's that? I put my arm around them. I go, oh, you're a bit warm there, Mr. Campfire. What's the problem?

And the campfire would go well it's just you know I pour out smoke as everybody knows it's not there's nothing I can do about it and I always you know always

hope that people move out of the way of the smoke however there was a guy that was doing some like sort of secret showbiz project

that you can't talk about on the podcast and he was sat down in the path of the smoke and he's chosen to you know he had to sit there

because of the filming and now he's chosen to blame me for that I had to sit there because of the filming and now he's chosen to blame me for that. I'll say this, I've been at a number of campfires, even when I'm not sitting directly

where the smoke is going, I'd say the campfire, I've not had any positive memories of campfires. I wouldn't go away. That's really sad. I wouldn't go and say,

oh, that was a great campfire. Sort of shaking one's hand. You were in the Scouts, weren't you? Yeah, for a little bit. Yeah. How do you know about that?

You told me about it. Yeah. I was the only kid who didn't get any badges. Yeah, because you're sitting there fucking whinging about the campfire, probably. No. You know, this is a weird one. I don't know if I've told this story before on here. We were on a Scout trip once, right?

And the first night that we went on the scout trip, we all got in the tent. It was a six-man tent, so we all got in. I was sleeping next to the door. I woke up that morning at the bottom of the hill, next, like, a little stream. Like, I'd been rolled out of the tent. Sort of, I just woke up, and I was like, what the fuck?

And I had no idea what had happened. Sort of went back up in my sleeping bag, sort of hopped back up to the tent. And all the other boys were laughing, obviously. It said that I'd been sort of talking in my sleep and snoring a bit, so they'd sort of picked me up in my sleep and sort of placed me down by the river. And that was sort of how the whole weekend went.

I'm sorry you had that experience. No wonder campfires are so traumatic for you. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in so you can change the music. Oh, yeah. Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment.

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I can imagine you as a little beaver when you were younger. The only experience I've had of the... You really enjoyed that, didn't you? I don't know why it's just funny, just the idea of you still being a beaver when you're 45. The only time I've ever had any experience with the Scouts is filming King Garo, when we did that little... Oh, really?

That little excursion into the woods. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't laugh very long. There was a campfire in there, wasn't there? Do you remember? Oh, yeah, there was. Yeah, I didn't really get near it. I sort of...

No. Well, it was sort of... Oh, yeah, but you filmed around it. It was artificial, wasn't it? Not artificial, but, like, it had, like, gas pumped into it, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I like those ones. They're quite cool.

Yeah, you're like a gas fire. Yeah, yeah. I would say that... Yeah, I didn't last very well in the Scouts. bit right yeah I mean I like those ones they're quite cool yeah you're like a gas fire yeah I would say that yeah I didn't last very well in the scouts

I didn't last long it was one of those things that my mum had got me to do

to sort of try to burn off some energy and sort of like join a

club that I might be good at the thing that I was awful at

yeah it's sort of a weird thing isn't it because it's sort of quite dated because the stuff

that it teaches you and you learn really now in 2024 doesn't have much bearing in a sense

like making campfires and boarding wood I mean there's an argument that as we are you mates with Bear Grylls by the way no

do you know him have you met him I did Jonathan Ross with him once can I just say that they must have known that he was going to be

what he was when they named him he couldn't have worked if he'd been working in a call centre

for insurance I had to call you up and go hello I'm Bear Grylls you're on mate

he had to do what he's doing right you think yeah because you can't keep Bear Grylls

yeah are you under the impression that his parents christened him Bear yeah I think

well of course they did that's his name that's what he calls himself that is what he calls himself but that's not his I mean are you under the impression

that 50 Cent was christened that at his birth well 50 no because being a rapper is a different basically being a fucking

international fucking rap star isn't a big shock that you've got a cool name like 50 Cent you've called yourself that right being a big scout that travels around the world and calls you if you've called yourself bear grills then there's

got to be a steward's inquiry i'm sorry his name is edward i i think from edward you can see how he got to bear right no what you're you're winding me up no how well edward ted teddy bear No, how? Well, Edward, Ted, Teddy, Bear. Why are you rolling your eyes? Oh, just like, fucking give me a break. Give me a break. If that's the excuse he's made, he should have called himself Teddy Bear. It's fucking ridiculous. I thought the only bar I've given him

is the fact I thought that's the name he was christened with, was Bear Grylls. I thought, fair enough, your parents called you that, you've made the most of it. That to you well done you you didn't think fair tom tom tom tom stop you didn't think fair enough you were moaning about it you're absolutely furious about the fact that he was called bear yeah no no i was no i was like i but i could at least understand your parents give you that name you've got to fucking make the most of it i still think it's a silly name but i you that name and you've got to fucking make the most of it.

I still think it's a silly name, but I'm like, but if you've called yourself Bear Grylls, what happened to you? You go down to the fucking name-changing office and say, oh, hey, how are you doing? I'm Edward Grylls, Eddie Grylls. I want to change my name. All right, cool, fair enough.

What do you change it to, Bear? What the fuck were you doing? I don't think he's actually changed I do what he needs is a good couple of mates he needs a friend who does a podcast alright I've had a few beers mate

but the whole bear thing is insane I know you were talking it up last night I've never heard anyone I'll be honest with you mate I agree with you

and I think animal nicknames are so dumb I hope you enjoy the wolf in our podcast by the way neither of us I don't go around calling myself Wolf Davis.

I'm not going to go on Jonathan Ross and go, can you call me Wolf Davis? Yeah, but what if, what if the podcast got really big and then people just started calling you Wolf? You just have to accept it. Like sometimes nicknames are thrust upon you. It's not a nickname though,

is it? It's not a nickname. You don't know, it's not called Edward Bear Grylls. It's, I know, I bet you had to Google his name was Edward. Everyone would know I'm Tom Davis,

but occasionally I might get called the wolf because I do a podcast where I call myself the wolf, vis-a-vis with you and the owl. But no one knows that that's his actual name. Well, my name's not Romesh. Yeah, well, yeah, all right, fair enough. Yeah, but at least with Romesh, I can see that it's like

you didn't like the name Jonathan right you've upgraded mate if anything I look at the name Romesh and go

it's distinctive it's very you I can't imagine you by any other name but it's not flashing showing off calling yourself bear

what is a bear it's king of the fucking woods mate so he fancies himself anyway by calling it yeah okay I do i will say this i don't agree with people giving themselves those sorts of you don't know if he's giving

himself the nickname tom he might have been given to him you've met him i've watched him on tv no one's calling him bear no one squirrel maybe no one's calling that fella bear you're getting in the army of him and going oh because Giles had a couple of beers with bear Eddie Grills Tom Tom he's not called bear because he looks like a fucking bear alright he's got no bear tendencies

listen I'm telling you I've told you what I think the origins of the name by the way that by the way is if that is the origins of the name that is if I'm going to, that, by the way, is if that is the origins of the name, that is, if I'm going to be completely honest, that's quite embarrassing for him. Why is it embarrassing?

If he's gone, oh, well, if he's gone, oh, Edward, Eddie, Teddy, Teddy Bear. And then he's joined the army and he's first aid of battalion. Someone's gone, oh, what's your name? Oh, they call me Bear. Why do they call you Bear? Well, let's trace it back.

Bear, Teddy Bear, Eddie, Edward. I don't think i don't think anyone else would have to have it explained to them tom no i'm sorry i i i had no idea that's what you were getting at okay listen i've looked it up right how did i've googled how did bear grills get his name his real name is a new addition to the show by the way like the sort of the the googling thing feels like we could

have probably done with this in early episodes yeah so it's when how far into the podcast did the wolf and I discover Google

his real name is Edward Grills but his sister gave him the nickname Bear when he was a week old right because of

yeah I mean still it's I don't know I don't know what's happened but his sister gave him the nickname Bear when he was a week old. Right, because of, yeah. Yeah, but I mean, still it's, I don't know. I don't believe that, sorry. Well, what's happened now is that feels fairly okay but you've realised that you've gone down the road of being angry about it and now you're just sort of being a little grumpy. No, I still...

What you've done there is you've cut yourself into a corner. You have to be angry about it. Can I just say, no. No, no, no. I'm going to say this, right? When I was a kid, right, one of my uncles used to call me Floppy because of the way I walked, right? I used to have flat pipes, right? Okay. You remember, like, the old 7-Up advert with Fido Dado?

Yeah. And then we used to walk. I used to walk like that, quite floppy. So he called me Floppy. I'm not running about town calling myself Floppy Davis, am I? Yeah, because obviously it didn't stick. You're not going to keep a nickname because one uncle just sort of so he called me floppy I'm not running about town calling myself floppy Davis am I yeah because obviously it didn't stick you're not going to

keep a nickname because one uncle just sort of occasionally he's done the same thing with his sister it must have obviously taken off

I mean they're not going to give the whole background it's not going to be his real name is Edward Grylls but his sister gave him the nickname Bear when he was a week old

the family liked it they started to refer to him as that and then that is what it's not going to do all that shit it's an official family nickname but then when he

told me when he went to school on his first day at school when he was five he went oh money edward grills oh sorry everyone calls me bear it's like and that was it i mean i reckon he has spent his whole life just running from edward and he's never found his inner edward and that's probably why he is the way he is in a lot of ways. Okay. It's a complete, I mean, yet another example of you getting needlessly angry about something that's completely reasonable. Do you know what I mean? I just find it insane. I'm sorry.

I find it insane. At some point in his life, he's going to have to let the bear go and become Edward. He might do. He might retire and go, do you know what? I've decided to be myself. I'm going to be Edward.

And if he does, I've stand in your list of like army people that you like the most of like because they've got a few on tv now where does bear to sit i've got one champion who i adore and that's the guy i love who's your champion foxy from uh sas oh my God. Mate, I love Foxy. That is such a great shout. Here's one from Jason Fox. Foxy. That's a fucking easy nickname. Foxy.

Hello, Foxy. How are you? Here's a public service announcement from the World For Now podcast. If you are getting a nickname, could you please get one that Tom can understand and comprehend? Just so you know, that is going to be a very, very narrow remit. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, could I do...

Well, okay. Me, you and... Well, first lady army, you're standing there. Hello, mate. What's your name? Oh, I'm Jason Fox. People call me Foxy. Oh, that's understandable.

What's your name? I'm Edward Grylls. Everyone calls me Bear. What? You know, like... And then he goes through that. Mate, it's a whole different shtick. I'm sorry. know that bear grills is probably a nice guy and i don't want to talk out of turn right i just think jason fox is way cooler if you were a couple of things i've got

to say to you first of all you don't want to talk out of turn that ship has sailed secondly what would actually happen is somebody go my name is jason fox people call me foxy and then we go yeah that's okay and then the next person would go, my name's Jason Fox, people call me Foxy, and then we'd go, yeah, that's okay. And then the next person would go, my name's Ed Grews and everyone calls me Bear. And then you'd go, why the fuck do they do that? And then I have to say, I'm so sorry about my friend. He's a fucking idiot. So he can't make that connection.

Apologies. And then your nickname would probably be Thicko. And then people are going to go how come you're called Thick Eye oh it's because there's this guy called Edward

and his nickname's Bear and they gave me like a they gave me a week and I couldn't figure it out they put me in

solitary confinement and they said when you figure out why Edward becomes Bear you can come out of this place so yeah that's what happened anyway if you've got any When you figured out why Edward becomes bear, you could come out of this place.

So, yeah, yeah, that's what happened. Anyway, have you got any dirty washing, lads? Is that how you became the janitor? Right, Tomo, should we wrap this up? Because the quality on this is abysmal, isn't it? So should we... I've not listened back. I'm hoping this is recorded. Well, I'm sure...

Oh, no. Yeah, it's all right, isn't it, in the end? I found it very disconcerting. I'm going to sort out my internet and then hopefully we can do a proper one. Should we try and... Actually, JT will cut us out because we never keep our promises.

But we'll try and do another one. we should try it okay all right right let's do it sky clouds seas sand grass mud these are the mainstays of an earth but you know what the funny thing is they're always there So we just take them for granted. Unlike friends and foes and horses and sheep and dogs and cats and other living things, they come and go. Truth is, in life, it's really easy to disregard things that you put your feet on or might just put like a cup on, even though tables can sometimes be thrown out. My point is, it's nice to respect people and things and breathing stuff.

But actually, every now and again, look around you. Look at the world around you and just say, wow, look at that grass. Grass just flexing in the wind. Wow, snow's just fallen and it will be gone soon. Huh. Was it just an illusion? And maybe that's what life is.

Just a big illusion. That is absolutely wonderful, Tomo. Thank you, bro. Thank you. Really, really nice. It feels good.

Felt good. Felt nice. I would like to take us out with an old school R&B sort of New Jack Swing classic and a song that I think Tom's really going to love

I don't know if you've heard this song it's by High Five and it's called I Like The Way open brackets the kissing game close brackets wow

yeah oh nice let's have a bit of that it's a little feel good New Jack Swing guys thank you so much for listening to The Wolf for now

I can announce well I can't announce I've not discussed this with Tom yet but Tom we've had a lot of emails for film pitches so I think we should

do a bonus episode where we just get into the film pitches oh wow and have a little discussion yeah that'd be good

yeah that'd be good so look out for that guys thank you so much for listening I'll see you soon we'll see you soon from the wolf and the owl

bye bye or the thicko and brains peace the way you kiss me when we're playing the kissing game if you have a problem, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com.

We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.