Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 30: Heavy Metal & Mice Invaders

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

We’re talking… getting into heavy metal, comedy at music gigs, Rom & Rob Beckett at the Download festival, not liking camping, Rom’s angry neighbour, celebrity beefs, Tom’s final week of tour shows in Devon and Cornwall, doner kebab pizzas, T-shirt strips, a poorly Davis household and a mouse in their house, how to pronounce ‘pouffe’, writing a new dictionary and alphabet issues. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Your teen requested a ride, but this time not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account. It's an Uber account that allows your teen to request a ride under your supervision with live trip tracking and highly rated drivers. Add your teen to your Uber account today. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred?

They'll grant you all ass requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole thing Once again, run tell your friends. Jeff bring in his head spinning, just kidding every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Once again, run tell your friends, it's the wolf, the furry wolf, the feathery owl in your ear bones.

You are not ready for this, Thaya. You good, bro? I'm good, mate. I'm good. Although I'm struggling, well, I'm good. Although I'm struggling, well, I'm not struggling at all, actually, but my voice is feeling a bit crispy, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, you've been at heavy metal vibes, right?

Yeah, I think I might like heavy metal, bro. I mean, I used to be into it. Did you? I went to, yeah, a little bit, yeah. And then download festivals got me right back into it. I think I might be a metaler It's a bit my thing. So I sell fest t-shirts at festivals and did you yeah, I don't think you mentioned it for a week or so That was one of the best ones to sell t-shirts

But did you see a thing where like people shout back scratch? Oh Did you see a thing where people shout, backscratcher? No. What are you talking about? So people go around there, I think it's just heavy metal, it was download the year that I went. I'm not sure why.

But I basically was going around downloads and people were shouting, backscratcher, like that, it was not really loud. At you? You know that thing where, no, no, no, they just shout it out and see, right? But this is the point, I had such a paranoia that they were shouting about me

because I had a hairy back or a sweaty back, that I got so into my own head that people were shouting it. Like there was a picture of me going around the site, everyone was out, if you see this guy, shout it. But I don't know why they shout it, back scratcher. I had a thing where like, I think it's changed, because this year, when I was walking around Download, there's just people shouting, you do too much telly!

I guess that was like the catchphrase of this year's one. Over-exposed, that was another one. They were a nice crowd, the heavy metal fans. They're amazing. I've got to say, they're amazing. They're a real vibe, man. I had my worst ever stand up gig there, I would like. But that was one that was done to the promoter.

But they do do, there's a comedy tent, right? It's not on when the music's on, not from the day before or something like that. I've never done it. Yeah, well, the year I played it, it was on, at the same time as the music, it was on a Friday night. And I rocked up, and it was the worst gig I've never done it. Yeah, well the year I played it was on at the same time as the music It was on the Friday night and I rocked up. Yeah, it was The worst gig I've ever done. I pissed thrown at me and all sorts. It was fucked. Okay. I was gonna ask about that

So does that actually so that actually happens then pissed getting thrown? Yeah Yeah, I was doing it to me. It did that first. It was brutal man I like like and if I'm gonna be completely open I It was brutal, man. And if I'm gonna be completely open, I'd stand cut the stage show special because it was one of my first ever, ever sort of, it was my first ever festival gig. I'd obviously sold first T-shirts.

I sort of went in there thinking, I'd always had a laugh on the store with people from Download. But then they cut off the music, they had it in the dance tent. It was a tent that during the day had been playing sort of like, you know, heavy metal, more sort of, I guess, dance heavy metal stuff.

And then in the evening, they decided to have stand up. I can't remember the guy. Something Mikey or something like that, who was running the gig. Spiky Mikey. Oh, I know. Spiky Mikey. Yeah, yeah. So he was running the gig. And I think from what I remember, Phil Nichol was hosting. Yeah, but it yeah. So he was running the gig, and I think from what I remember, Phil Nichol was hosting. Yeah, man, but it was-

Great comic. Yeah, amazing comic. I was awful. And do you remember a guy called Jason Rouse? I'm not sure if you saw him before. Yeah, of course I remember him, yes. I don't know, I don't know, but I mean, I'm slightly nervous

by the fact that I know all these names, but- Yeah, but Jason Rouse- But that's not because he mentioned him in a podcast. I don't know if you know him. Yeah, Jason Rouse is a download, like he's a god at download. He's a heavy metal comedian. And halfway through my set, he just walked

through the audience to come backstage and everyone just started cheering and shouting his name. So I could hear people shout back scratcher and Jason Rouse and while the people were, what, either people knew I was gonna be so bad that they prepared bottles of fresh piss or people were taking time to walk out during my set to have a piss in a bottle to come back and throw it out. Well, that's what I, that's what I was, that's a question I asked because somebody said we did, we did a little bit.

I mean, I can't tell to say too much, but we did a bit of stuff with a band called Bleed From Within. And they said... Yeah, of course, you and Rob have been nothing but post-it. It's the most active I've seen it. You and Rob have done incredible things on your journey of Rob and Ron. Rob and Ron. Rob and Ron. Look, Rob and Ron! Ron-ish. I'm just going to wait for this to fully unfold. No, I just love the idea of it.

Yeah, Ronesh. Rove and Ron. But yeah, the amount of love you've given these guys, I'm like, fucking hell. This is more than anyone else I've seen you put your arm around and give a fucking big salute to. You love these guys. And like, it's made me look into them, by the way. I was like, I started listening to some of their to. You love these, and like, it's made me look into them,

by the way. I was like, I started listening to some of their tunes. I was like, okay, thank you. No, but it's because they were doing a big gig at Download, but then were nice enough to sort of accommodate us. You know what I mean? It was a very nice thing of them to- Yeah, yeah, no, no, but by the way, mate,

I mean this ethically. It's lovely to see, like, you both reach out and fucking be lovely to someone. Well, that's not how you started this little reference. You know what it is? You sometimes worry about snake tendencies when there's not a viper in the room. Sometimes you've got to get ready for the fact

it's just a worm, right? Yeah, sometimes I'm dealing with a snake that's sort of pretending to be docile and it sort of wraps itself around your leg as if it's being affectionate and then suddenly sinks its fangs into your fucking calf. That's what I'm dealing with on this podcast. Let's be absolutely crystal clear. You're like that snake from Jungle Book. No, no, I'm like the snake from Romance.

Relax, Romance. I'm about to compliment you. So it was good though, you enjoyed it? It was good. I mean, look, I have a problem with festivals in general. I don't have a problem with festivals. It's not the festival's fault. But, you know, like the mud and camping and all that, I find tricky, tricky to deal with with my own sensibilities. But no, it was good, man. It was good. How long did you camp when you were there?

No, stayed in a hotel. But what I'm saying is if I was to go back to the festival, if you do a festival, you're supposed to camp, right? Isn't that the whole point of it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I guess so. I mean, I started looking it up on TikTok afterwards, like people that were at download,

to see what you know What people are saying about it? There were two guys This is I can't even get my head round Doing something like this. It was pissing it down for like some of the festival So they just got out of their tent in their underwear got shampoo out and just started showering in the rain It's kind of cool. No, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's like a cold shower.

There's a cold shower, right? And I'd actually say, do you know what? It's like fucking credit to them. It's hard to get showering down the road. Yeah, absolutely credit to them. But I couldn't do that. There's no way, man. You know what would be nice, actually, is just trying it in the back of your house

in your back garden. What do you mean, waiting for the rain to come? Well, if it's really pouring down, don't do it if it's just way man. You know what would be nice actually is just trying it in the back of your house, in your back garden. What are you doing, waiting for the rain to come? Well if it's really pouring down, don't do it if it's just a drizzle because you'll get all lathery and you won't be able to wash it off. There's a slight issue actually because we're slightly overlooked in our back, towards the back of our back garden so we won't go do it down there. What some of the staff have got house near. Well it's just, I said to Lisa, I don't see why the butler has to be directly behind.

His name's Dan, but we call him Jeffrey because of the Fresh Prince thing. He hates it, but I just want there to be a theme. No, there's a woman that lives behind us and she hates us. Do you know? You've had a new house built. You've had a new house built. Of course she does.

Do you know, so Lisa, Lisa was on a dog walk the other day and she bumped into a woman that lives along that sort of road behind us, right? And she told us, do you remember that vow renewal that we had that you couldn't be bothered to come to? So we- Cause I was in fucking Newcastle. Yeah, you didn't have to be, did you?

I was devastated not to be there. So it was a big, big, it was a really, from what everyone said, it was one of your best networking events that you've run. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Got a guy from HBI being a flyer, the guy from HBI. What am I supposed to do? They just happen to be my closest friends, OK? Motherfucker's crawling, man. Yeah, I'm just flying the Gatwick, man. I'll put you up somewhere nice and lovely. Did you have a vow on you? Yeah, but I'm one of your best... Yeah, yeah, but it's difficult for numbers, guys. It's an industry thing.

Anyway, this woman told Lisa that, so we had music on. We had got a license, we have to get a license for this. Anyway, we had music on. Finished at 11, by the way, which is, you know, late-ish, but not too, anyway. Apparently that woman went up and down the road and knocking on doors trying to get a group together to come round and sort of turn up mob handling.

The Lynch Rob. Yeah, basically. A posse, she's basically put together a plan. She's trying to put together a plan to come round it. Yeah, it didn't happen because everyone else said. What would they have done? I don't know, but. Yeah, security there as well. Yeah, security there.

But apparently, so what happened was, Lisa didn't tell me this is after she'd met the woman on the dog walk, but somebody did turn up. I didn't know, I mean I was two sheets to the wind with the head of Netflix. But that woman did turn up on it. So what happened was she went up and down the road, tried to mobilise a group. They all apparently they all just said, well, I think it's fairly reasonable they've only ever done this once and it's not that loud and

And then since she just turned up on her own, but she had tried to put together a big group Wow So the sort of pot that's not what I'm trying to make is that means that you you're that's essentially You're almost living the real-life version of King Gary. Yeah. Yeah, he's King Gary. Yeah. She is King Gary She's she's how she King Gary. She is King Gary. She's, how is she King Gary? She's King Gary, you're Jonathan. No you're not. You're still Jonathan. No, I'm Gary. No, you're the guy who's living in the house.

You just moved to the area. She's Gary, she's got the ump, because I bet she used to have bagged sick parties, right? And now those parties, you're having a king party, you're the big boss parties. So they're actually trying to get rid of you. So I'm still Stewart Williams. Stewart Williams wouldn't have a big party. Oh yeah, he would actually be a big party. Yeah, he would have his party, because the

character of Stuart Williams isn't as flexing and as cool as you. Let's be fucking real here, mate. You're a fucking cool guy. You only need to see what you're fucking knocking. But you played the 02 with the fucking one of the best DJs in the land opening for you. Let's talk about this, all right? First of all, I'm absolutely waiting for a two-footed leathering to the bollocks here, the way you're being recorded. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no fucking, you know, your show is, you've, I can see the inspirations of your show and why you, you know, the DJ and the things like Def Jam and the things that me and you love, it's one of my favorite things was that vibe

to bring the fucking audience up. I think that that's one of the bravest moves that I've ever seen from an arena comic, I mean that. Like there's no piss take here, I think that was fucking a fucking cool ass thing to do. All right? So the idea that your parties aren't gonna, but actually the respect you have,

so for this woman living on your street, all of a sudden you've got DJs playing and she's seeing 50 Cent roll up, do you know what I mean? It's like fucking. I wondered, I wondered, do you know what? It was weird, because I thought, I thought he's been drinking, because he's been incredibly not,

and then gradually you sort of, from behind your back comes out. Yeah, you know, you know, you know, but you know, my point is she has got, she's got the schnick. She's got annoyed. Yeah. To try and round out a posse is insane. Because, mate, that's a big old, but mate, that's a big old, that's a nasty old taste in your mouth. When you start knocking on doors, trying to gather your food together and people going, yeah, it's kind of cool.

It's actually quite a joy that we've got to we've opened the windows because we like that track. That's like, yeah, it's loud, isn't it? How people try to sleep? No, you know, it's a 30. If anything, it's nice. We usually we usually just sat here watching fucking that shitty little prick we've managed to actually stick that off with why have you gone suddenly to why have you got into it because he's an idiot oh my

god okay I don't want to get into this is very rude to me early on in my career but I hold it I was on a show of yours this. He was very rude to me early on in my career. And I hold it, I hold it. I was on a show of yours and he was very, very rude. Well that wasn't that early in your career, you were a big deal by then, so that was... No, that was pre-King Gary. Well, it doesn't matter. Pre-King Gary, you weren't a big deal.

Listen, you've been one of the biggest deals, you're doing fucking partridge stuff, mate. Let me tell you something. Yeah. You've been a big deal. You've been a big deal. From day, from day. In the world I was nothing. He essentially came out and roasted me in front of a live studio audience.

Yeah, I don't think you did. He raised you. But he came out and he went, he said to you, you said, oh, you're now doing show. He's doing and he went, he said to you, you said something about, oh, you're now doing. Yeah, sure he's doing. And he went, yeah, yeah, oh, you have to come on that for me. And you were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll try. And then he said, and then Gino was on and Joe Brand. And this is how I've obviously remembered this

because it's been with me ever since. And then he said to Gino about coming on, then he asked Joe to come on. And then there was this awkward silence. He went, oh, you're gonna, and you Joe, she said, are you on, then he asked Joe to come on. And then there was this awkward silence. He went, oh, you're gonna, and you Joe, he said, are you gonna ask Tom if you wanted to come on? And he went, who's Tom? I don't, first of all, couple of things there.

First of all, I shouldn't have done that. I don't think. No, no, no, but yeah, no, no, but I think it was an act thing because it was an awkward moment for the whole audience because he'd asked everyone else to go on. It was, and you, it was an, I'd have said, what about the other guy standing on the panel?

I didn't say it in a dickish way. I'd have done that. No, no, no, you were like, as a pal of mine, you're like, well, you've asked everyone else here, surely you're gonna sort of say, because he was bitch, not Juno, you need to come on it, Joe. He didn't say who's Tom. Yeah, yeah, I swear.

And then he made a couple of other little, he clearly picked me out as being, he was gonna give some schtick to, and then I sort of made a couple of other little, he clearly picked me out as being he was going to give some shtick to. And then I sort of made a joke about, joked back at him and he just didn't really like it. And then, yeah, and look, he probably doesn't remember what big deal it is. I remember it bigger because when you're like, yeah, and we say about the big when you're what I used to get very nervous

about a panel show thing and you were doing it and it was a really fun show to do that one. But when he did that, it kind of, like when you're on your way up and people say that, and he at the time was doing big stuff, you're expecting it to, you expect someone to be a bit more, okay, like punching as much as it sounds ridiculous down

isn't necessarily a way of doing things. And it was quite, yeah. Well, I mean, look, I think the positive we can draw from this is that you seem to be over it and you've moved on. No, no, no, no. I'm still very much holding the crutch. I'd love to say I was over it, but I'm still thinking about it three times a week. But anyway, the long and the short of it is that this woman is... So she's... You're her... Yeah, basically, I am her... And I understand it, you live in an area, some pricks move in, I get it. But what I would say is, I'm certainly not going to reward her with the treat of seeing

me showering in the rain as a result of her... That's something she doesn't deserve. Talking about neighbors seeing you showering. So in our house, we've got a bathroom at the back of the house that is like is like the it's like an ensuite I use because Catherine has her bathroom and that she doesn't really

want me in. So you set for bathrooms? Yes, she doesn't use because Catherine has her bathroom and she doesn't really want me in. So you set for bathrooms? Yes, she doesn't want me anywhere near her bathroom. She's like this, the idea of me being in her bathroom is like, yeah, it's smelling wet towels, pants, hair everywhere. Like a fucking houseation has just come running in from the rain. It's sort of like a fucking vibe for her. So I've been using this bathroom at the back of the house and we've got quite big hedges at the back. And Catherine had decided to get the hedges cut back.

So I get out of the shower one day, always thinking that there's no one at the back of our house because of these big hedges and that she's had them fucking almost halved. So I come out of the shower, I've got this massive window, I'm completely naked, dancing around to Jessie J or some shit. And I look around and there's two people

just sitting having their morning coffee just looking over our hedge. You think Kat give them a heads up going there's a hell of a show. Oh yeah yeah yeah I think Kat she'd rounded up a bossy of people to look at. There's a couple of the neighbours going. We know that Tom does a little sort of dance that we quite enjoy but the problem is the hedges are getting in the way and then Kat said I don't worry about that I'll cut them back. If you want the show I'll give you the show. I about that. I'll cut them back. If you want the show, I'll give you the show. I'll send him through there about 9 AM. If you want the special vibe, I'll give you the special vibe.

But I'm saying that, eat breakfast after, because you don't need that shit coming back up. Bro, I've had like a mad 72 hours of flight. So I finished my tour in Churro. Shout out Cornwall, by the way. Tom, I should tell you, we've had a couple of emails about true I'm just gonna say right. I'm gonna say now Taulten Exeter

And Plymouth Sure, oh Launston these places are absolute. What absolute honor was to finish the show down there like incredible people like the people down there by the way, just so lovely, like, can't do it, you know when you're like, oh wow, like, just everywhere, people everywhere, every place that we went to as a family, every, people can't do enough for you,

so sweet, like just genuinely, the customer service, mate, it's, and I would say, people are nice in that part of the world, aren't they? Yeah, lovely, I was, my heart goes out to them by the way because fuck every phone company because Like they get no reception down there at all. I Look at him think that they've been almost left to drift off the poor fuckers like they did like you get no Like you're scrapping around for a bit of 3g down there. The idea of 4G and 5G is completely insane. Be careful here, be careful, because you're sort of urging on the edge of an insult here.

Are you making out that there's some village in Papua New Guinea that fucking got no access? No, I'm saying now that it's one of the most beautiful places in the world. That should be the jewel in the crown of this country, right? It's beautiful, the people are amazing, that shit. But it feels to me that like, phone companies aren't helping them out. They've got no service down there at all. Yeah, well it's incredibly nice to see you so passionate. You really are, you're almost sort of foaming at the mouth. And I can tell that you found that run of shows emotional.

And I don't think there was a bigger sign of your emotion than the stories I've heard about you at your last show, removing your T-shirt and throwing it into the crowd. Now, I need to talk to you about this because, you know, I was at Download. I watched like a lot of bands who, you know, and people are going nuts, but music gets a reaction from people that comedy doesn't, right?

Not once did I, actually I was about to say, I did actually take an item of clothing off. But anyway, the point is- What about a cat? Oh, a cat, you threw a cat into the crowd. No, I took my jacket off. I think I might have been inspired by you, actually. But my understanding is that you- Eh, eh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ahhh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, ehh, e And then threw it into the crowd. And then from what I've heard from my spies,

the t-shirt didn't make it to the crowd. It's just sort of just. It's so. It's so. You got a spot. It let, yeah, the throw, I threw it out to the side for some reason. Okay, first of all, how did you get to the point

where you were taking your t-shirt off to throw it? Right, look, I'm gonna tell you now. I was very emotional. This tour has been incredible. First tour. Yeah, first tour. You smashed it. I'll tell you now, I was very emotional. This tour has been incredible. Yeah, first tour. You smashed it. I think it's like incredible,

and I need to say, I don't know what medium I'll ever say, but like two people in you and Flo, I think have showed belief in being incredible. I don't want to get too emotional, but amazing to, you know, but you have, like, I wouldn't be out doing this. I would never have had the confidence to go out and do that if it wasn't for you pushing me to do it, and Flo pushing me to do it, and then subsequently the amazing team off the curb.

I never thought I'd ever do that in my life. I'd sort of given up on the thought I'd ever do it all. So those last run of gigs were quite intense. They were like, you know, not often, you know, usually have a little break, it felt. And then I'd launched them was quite difficult because it was a great crowd, but it was, I'd eaten at a really bad kebab shop

with your brother, Elliot the Tourer. Yeah, you had a Donak Kebab pizza, didn't you? Yeah, it wasn't a good, I, yeah, I had a bit of it. I didn't, yeah, it was fucking disgusting. Yeah. Your brother, it was hilarious. The guy there was like, he gave your brother the spicy. Your brother was like, he was like, do you want spicy, do you want chili?

And your brother was like, a little bit. I've never seen so much chili sauce on anything. How did he handle it? He can normally handle his heat. Oh, he can handle his heat, but he would just literally, by the way, this is like, this is 10 minutes before we were going on stage, because there was nothing else to eat.

So then halfway through the show I'm like, oh no, I'm fucking, I'm starting to fall right here. This is, and it was a weird thing. You were in a couple of gurgles. Yeah, a couple of, I was like bits and shout out to the crowd because they were amazing. I literally didn't think I'd do the encore because I was gonna be sick.

Jesus, you nearly didn't do the encore. Christ. But you know how much I love that fucking encore, G? You know how much I'm ready to go out and party at that encore. Yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway, go on. But it was quite, it was like a town hall, it was quite a small room.

And then, to row that venue in Cornwall is fucking sick, man. And it was, everyone was, it was banging. It was an amazing, it was out there with the best shows I've done on the tour. And then I regretted not taking my T-shirt off and throwing it into the crowd at Birmingham, at Liverpool. I thought, oh fuck it, I didn't wanna make it a thing. You've had a lot of great shows.

Fucking hell, Jesus Christ. Hey, hey, hey, you asked me a question. I'm getting nervous with you. Yeah, but you very, you switched me a question. I'm getting nervous. Yeah, but you switch very quickly from being like quite a humble guy who's like thanking everyone for giving him the confidence to do it to one of the most arrogant performers I've ever fucking speak out loud. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I love you. But you know, the emotion got too much for me and I threw it. But as I took

it off, I was like, oh, this is a really big move now. And then I thought, once I got the t-shirt off, I thought I don't want to drape it after me. I cannot believe it. You know, like Winnie the Pooh, he drags that little rag with him. So I tried to throw it, but for some reason I threw it, I didn't throw it just into the center of the audience, I threw it up, and I just sort of, it let the thing, we just drifted down.

So what happened to that T-shirt? I think someone got it. Someone was sending pictures of the, yeah, they've got it in the, yeah. Apparently, yeah, it's got, the other thing was that I think it was kicking up a bit. You know when you come on stage, you've got a bit of B.O. Yeah. Yeah.

It'd be quite a sweaty show. The only memorabilia T-shirt that actually really give us a thorough washing to get all of that. Yeah. I mean, unless they want the stank on it. Yeah. You know, it's nice to have a little sort of salty pits or whatever. Do you mean when you? Yeah. But then we drove back from Cornwall, which took us, that is the only thing, that took us eight hours to get home. It was like traffic, insane. And then Catherine got quite poorly. Catherine like, so I woke up on, what would it be, Saturday, late Friday night, Catherine had collapsed

and was just blacked out on the bathroom floor. It was terrifying, man, it was so scary. And then it was just literally like, I was put in a recovery position, I was calling ambulances and stuff. So I was like, you know when you finish the tour and you're like, oh good, I'm just gonna go into a time of relaxation now. And then I was like, you know you when you finish the tour and you're like, oh good I'm just gonna go into a time of relaxation now. Yeah, and then I'm like

Put Carrie that's a bed. She's like, you know, she spent all Saturday just so ill So got up and about sad. It's a father's day with Sunday and then grace has got sick got a sickness bug So she if you must have this with the, like I sort of watched the England game and then get into bed and think, you know, get a good night's sleep. Because I've been up two nights with Katherine just absolutely, you know, she's your wife, you tell her I couldn't sleep, I was so worried. So, you know, she was a bit better, we watched the England game together, Father's Day, I was like, close my eyes. Did Grace watch the football? No, no, she watched a little bit of it.

She watched some of the first half. She said she wasn't going to stay up for the second half. Once we take a 1-0 lead, Grace is very much... She's very much high-famed with the way that Garasovka does things, doesn't she? Once they've gone ahead, she sort of says we've seen the best of the game here, I'm just going to head off to play.

A lot of people are saying that her illness is actually an allergic reaction to his here. I'm just going to head off to. Yeah. A lot of people are saying that her illness is actually an allergic reaction to his tactics. Yeah. Yeah. She's just like, just bombing and he's like, you're right, Grace. I was just, he's just playing him out of position. Playing it as a 10.

Yeah. Yeah. What like, yeah. Why does he take off Kane and Saka? They've been absolutely like, they're so, they're our best players. They need, they, later stages, we're going to need them. Give them some rest. Saka's been absolutely ruined by Arsenal this year year he needs a little bit of R&R. Kane's got a back injury

Gareth. Bring on Ivan Tony. Give Ivan a chance. She's so passionate. She got so worked up there made her quite ill. Where's Eze? Where's Eze? Just a shoe. Why bring him? Why don't you bring Tyrell Mitchell? A natural left back. He's a that standard season. Poor Kevin Trippier. So then she's obviously got on Twitter and she started tweeting about it. Yeah, she gets quite militant initially. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And obviously then she started, she can get, you know, and obviously she's then retweeted. She's, you know, she's very much into the reform party. So she's retweeting a lot of their stuff. Yeah, no fair play to her. You know what, sometimes when she's sort of, I think the last time when we met up for Christmas, she's saying, I was sort of saying to you,

right little G, you know how's it going? She goes, yeah I am. Because I do resent your mother still being in the country. I thought it was a bit spicy for Christmas. No, she said no offence but. yeah, yeah she did say that. She did say I do have one brown friend or something. I can't remember. Yeah, yeah.

Her best friend actually is quite cute. They're starting school together. They have a lovely time. Oh, there's a deep wolf in hell coming into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got a lovely picture. They went up to the... They should start a podcast, The Cub and Chick. The Cub and Chick.

That'd be great. Just her fucking gaslighting with fucking shit. Anyway, to reassure the listeners, Kat's fine now. Not fine, but she's on recovery. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got that. We've been going through quite a lot of stuff, which I've sort of mentioned

I want to get to, but then, but you know that thing where, so Grace is then, and you must have this with the boys, she's, when babies are sick, it's like, it's sick with every, like I get into her bedroom, so the walls, and then I pick her up and she's sick all over me, and I'm like, yo, cuddling her, and you're just so worried, you know, panic kicks in. I kill it. Yeah, we, yeah, but then obviously caffeine is poorly.

So I'm just trying to sort of not, you know, but then caffeine in the mirror and try to clean her up, give her a little wash. I jump in the shower, clean up her bedroom, put her back into bed because she feels like she's not been sick for like half an hour. Get back into bed half an hour after that, she's sick again. So then she gets into our bed. she's sick all over me again so then I spent the whole of Sunday night sat looking at my phone while she's sleeping on me downstairs in the sofa right I'm like then I go to work on Monday and

then Katherine text me and she's like oh there's a mouse in the house I'm like what and she was like there's a mouse in the house. I'm like, what? And she was like, there's a mouse running around. Gracie's obviously obsessed with a mouse because Disney are fucking assholes. Right. Can I just say, by the way, like, oh, here we go. Here we go. What? Oh, this is just another absolutely unhinged rant about something that. I'm just going to say now, I'm going to say now, right? When that's a big move from Walton, the guys with using a mouse as the fucking

put in front and center of that brand. Cause mice are dirty little fuckers, man. Like he's basically like these that I've had to deal with that like all yesterday afternoon, I'm chasing them out. He's a house invader. He's a basically a thief. He's like come in, making bits of scraps of food. He's just, he's covered a thief. He's come in, licking bits of scraps of food. He's covered in disease.

And then like- Tom, mice do not, they do not subscribe to our legal system, right? They're animals. Yeah, but the way that it's made, Grace thinks it's like Mickey Mouse. She's like, mouse, mouse, and getting it. So I'm like, I had to go, no.

Yeah, but Tom, Tom, the way you're reacting is no. Mickey is disgusting. Oh my God. Like Mickey, like if we go, no. Like ducks, you can have ducks, do you know what I mean? Goofy, all day long, Belle, and all the princesses, great stuff, do you know what I mean? You don't mind women, okay.

Yeah. No, no, because Minnie's with Mickey for me. Minnie and Mickey are very much together. Yeah, fine. I'm like, you know, they're amusing, they're funny, but they're dirty little fuckers. Right. Don't get it mixed up, Don't get it dizzy, right?

And she like, because this is the word she's trying to get from anywhere gone. Yeah. Yeah. And then so honestly, I'm then trying to negotiate with the mouse because I'm like, I can see the mouse and me are like, about to go to head to head. This is, you know, I've closed off it, closed it off into our living room, right? So it's just me and the mouse now. It's a two way dance, right? What a terrifying experience for the mouse, by the way. Well, actually more terrifying for me because the mouse is now shitting everywhere, right? Yeah, terrifying. It's disgusting. Yeah, this is all consistent.

Yeah, right. I'm then like saying to the mouse, look mate, come on, it's enough, it's enough now. Let's, you know, let's get you outside. Because I don't want to hurt the mouse look mate come on it's enough enough now let's yeah let's get you outside because I don't want to hurt the mouse because I can realize it's scared I don't want to you know mate it's so quick like Catherine came to the look in the window at the living room and she was like why have you pulled all the sofas out like if I could show you a picture of what our living room looks like it's well I'm a fucking invited round we're not doing that like fucking a rodent infestation that's the last person I need right as you go oh god no one anything to eat here is rats it's not rats it's mice Ramesh two different fucking pigs but that's the

trouble in it because Matt mice a little gossips so he'll be running off going up fucking others a great house round the corner with cheese and stuff left out. They've got a baby, a toddler, leaving out fucking scraps. Why are you leaving cheese out? Wait, what, you're fucking babies, fuck. She cheats every meal, by the way,

my daughter, like a buffet. It's like she's not finished with stuff. She'll have a plate, she'll have a load of little bits on it, and you'll go to go, oh, you finished with that, I'll put it in the, no, no, no, I'm not finished with it yet. What are you doing? I haven't fucking come back to that Joey's like everything just sits out. Our kids do that anyway. Yes insane so this

scrap so like mice by nature are very gossipy so he's running to the woods and stuff and telling all the other fucking scumbags to come back. So did the mouse escape is that what you're saying? No no I caught the mouse in the end. I got in a little how did you catch it what did you use I got this is embarrassing well I cornered it into under shelving system right and it was then it's just me and him right I'm looking at him he's looking at me can I just stop you what is a shelving system in your mind you know like from Ikea like a sort of stack of shelves. A stack of shelves, okay. And what makes it a system? I don't know.

That's what I decided in the moment to call it. No idea why. I'm looking at a mouse and I'm like, I don't want to hurt it. It's tired, I'm tired. This jewel has gone on for nearly an hour. But then also I'm aware of Lenny from my cement. I've never handled a rodent before, now do I ever want it. I've never touched one. But also I'm worried about hurting it. It's slipping through my hands and then having to run around again.

You know, it's no grace to witness you crushing a mouse to death essentially. I mean that's got therapists in it. Yeah, that's really my worry. I don't know how hard to hold a mouse. I want to put it in my hand, but then if it's going around, I don't want to do that. It's like, yeah, yeah. I don't want to touch it. Yeah, sure. I've not liked it. Look, you know, I respect it because it's doing what it's doing in a sense.

I'm doing like it shouldn't be in my house. So it's got no place in my and the shit is disgusting now. I've got fucking I've got a phobia. I actually did scaffolding. I want to burn everything in this room and get a big bonfire and just get rid of everything that this mouse has touched. Which she said is insane, but I still maintain it. I'm not, you know.

I think it's something that, you know, in the spirit of keeping the neighbors happy, I would have to let them know that's what's happening because that looks like somebody having a breakdown, essentially, do you know what I mean? Yeah, well, this is how, Catherine was like, you can't plummet into what I think is gonna happen right now. In the fact that we're not allowed to use the

downstairs because you've had a mouse there. Which was one of my things. I was like, we're gonna have to live upstairs now for a while. So anyway, you trapped this mouse underneath the shelving system. Yeah. And then Catherine has a friend who's lovely, who is a very animal, like loves animals, got horses, dogs and all that sort of stuff. So I said to call them. So they came around at night, because I was like, I don't want to touch. So they came round and like,

because I was like, I don't want to touch. So they came round and I was like, what do we do now? And they were very, very helpful. They were very, very kind and lovely. I can't imagine they're that much more equipped to deal with this in you. Be in mind, they normally deal with horses and dogs. No, they've also had gerbils and stuff.

Okay, fine. They're an animal expert. By the way, the kindness and tenderness that they showed the mouse, No, they've also had gerbils and stuff. Okay, fine. They've had their animal expert. The by the way, the kindness and tenderness that they showed the mouse, they put it into like a little, what's it called? Uh, fucking, this is where my vocabulary just defeats me. Uh, what's the little things you keep food and you put in the fridge plastic containers? Tupperware.

Tupperware. Fucking shelf system. Can't even think of what Tupperware's called. It's where my brain is. This is me on fucking three hours of sleep for fucking the last four nights. So we put it in a little Tupperware, she took it to the woods and let it run out into the woods. Okay, all right. So it was a beast of a thing.

It was a warm man between, and then Grace was really upset. She evidently wanted to keep the mouse as a pet. She was like, we have to separate. Have you managed to establish how the mouse got into your house? No, I've got someone coming out today. They're gonna come out today and do an examination of where the mouse infiltrated our home.

Yeah, and how are you feeling sort of in and around your home now? Disgusted. Yeah. Disgusted. Like genuinely, I'd happily lock myself in this room I'm like this like the living room at the moment. I'm like so it's like it's like a crime scene I'm like lock it off. Look I've put the I put the closer doors

I've put like a puff up against the doors. I kept a case. Let me just stop you there What did you put against the doors? perfect a puff a yeah, a Puffer up against the doors. I kept then came back out. Let me just stop you there. What did you put against the doors? Puffer. A puffer? Yeah. A puffer? It's what you put your feet on when you're on the sofa. A poof.

It's a poof, right? What's a poof? It's a poof. It's what you put your fucking feet on when you sit on the sofa. What's a poof? How do you say, How do you spell that? Poofay. You mean a poof.

A poofay. It's spelled P-O-U-F-F-E. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's not how you pronounce it. A poofay. Poofay. That's it. Hold on, hold on. I've got the pronunciation here. How to correctly pronounce it? If it's like you, I'll accept it. You are looking at Julian's pronunciation guide where we look at how to pronounce better some of the most mispronounced words in the world like this other curious

word. But how do you say what you're looking for today? We are looking at how to pronounce these words as well as how to say more interesting but often confusing words and names that many mispronounce in English. So make sure to stay tuned to the channel. A word from French originally meaning a cushioned footstool or low seat twiz no bag, AKA a poof. Poof is how you say it. Right, there's two points I've got on this. Number one, another big bugbear of mine.

It's pronounced both. It's pronounced both. It's these idiots that do these YouTube videos, right? And instead of getting into the jam, they've got a fucking junk truck, junk man of strawberries. It's like, I've not come here. I need the I need what you've you've Googled or YouTube and you've got a new tube and gone. How do I pronounce buffet or poof? Right. Yeah. All I want is a guy to go. And I make you pronounce it poof or you pronounce it poof.

I the whole thing of like, hello, I'm Martin. I am a person. I pronounce different words from different languages. So if you like what I do, subscribe to my channel. So why you're here today is you're probably doing a podcast and one of you hasn't pronounced a word correctly. So what you're thinking about doing is really battling your friend and knocking him down a peg or two with the right pronunciation of the word. Now the word is something that's... I'm like, fuck off, mate. Just tell me how to pronounce Poufé.

Well, okay. What I would say was that is... You're right. And I thought your impersonation is right, except for the trying to knock your friend down. I don't want... Can I tell you something? You react, you behave like I'm trying to slag you. I'm not trying to slag you. I don't want you saying to people, poofay, alright? Right, can I also say, I feel very uncomfortable about the other way of saying that in my accent. Poof. Poof, poof, poof. You've done it deliberately, poof.

No, poof. No, you're right, you're right. Poof sounds weird. Poofay on the other hand, sounds fucking amazing. Poofay sounds... Mate, if I go around your house, because I bet you've got about six of these things, right? If I go around your house and go, fucking, oh, this Poofay's lovely, mate. I think Poofay sounds classier as well. If you put A, like an elongated fucking E at the end of anything, it sounds better.

Okay. All right. It sounds more fucking just a little bit nicer. Well, I'd love another example. Ice cream, eh? Oh, do you want an ice cream, eh? I think people think you're mental, mate. Do you want an ice cream, eh? Surely you should be putting it on both words.

I say cream, eh? Oh, wow, see, that's sick as fuck. Actually doesn't sound bad at all. Yeah, do you want an ice cream, eh? Oh, man, that's a nice name. Do you fancy an ice cream, eh? It's hot out, isn't it? Oh, yeah. I'll. Yeah, do I say creamy? Oh you fancy nice a creamy Tired now. Oh, yeah I've got a see murder and I say cream I join a flake a I said crevas gonna flake a in that. Yeah

Yeah, I'll get a code a piece. Yeah, any sauce. I a little bit of strawberry sauce. I strawberry a sauce. I Sprinkles a as, as well. Oh mate. Don't quite love a sprinkles, eh, but okay. Sprinklase. Sprinklase, there you go. Oh wow. Would you like some sprinklase?

See, this is what I mean. Like, we've got, the evolution of language could be sick if you just start throwing a little, like, sick at it. I think, cause you do a lot of language evolution in your general kind of chit chat. Yeah. I think you should be a bit more aggressive language evolution in your general kind of chit chat. Yeah. I think you should be a bit more aggressive about it.

I actually think there's a world in which you could bring out some sort of dictionary or something. I love that. Maybe any publishers out there just fucking shout me because I could do without some of that nice fucking book. Why don't you just be a bit front footed about it? Instead of lazily just going on the podcast, any publishers out there want to hit me up. Why don't you actually fucking get out there and do it

yourself right? Do you want to do this dictionary or not? I do want to do the dictionary. So put a little sample together and fucking get in touch with them. I will fucking will. I mean if I'm honest with you I've never looked at a real dictionary. Bro you're talking about like I'm a fucking lazy guy sitting around. I've told you in my last fucking 72 hours. I've had a fucking moment Fucking like navigating fucking my kid being ill my wife fucking like having a fucking An episode and then I've got fucking house intruder So I've got fucking time to go. Oh, sorry what you've perhaps in the bathroom. Give me a second. I'm just on Zed

I've got fucking time to go, oh, sorry what you've perhaps in the bathroom, give me a second, I'm just on Zed. Just fucking my work around my fucking, what funny words that I've got in my head with fucking, start with F. It's like, whoa, have you got a deal for this? Robert, she's told me to write the book and then home. Thanks to the publisher.

I'm fortunate for some reason, I've gone straight from F to Zed. Yeah, published, mate, by the way, alphabet don't even get me started. Oh, I don't even, I don't, I actually don't wanna get you started on the alphabet. Alphabet, I think, by the way, I know't even get me started. Oh, I don't even, I actually don't want to get you started on the alphabet. Alphabet, I think, by the way, I know all the letters to the alphabet. It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't need any encouragement.

I have no idea when they fucking come into the pub, I just know who's in there. I don't know the order of them, I'm just like, I know who's here. I've got to go, A came in first, then B. Like, I'm alright with A, B, C, D, E, F, G, right? Then it all starts to fall to shit. It's like I've had a few drinks and I'm going, oh, I think H came in, but I can't remember if it came. Are you saying you don't know your alphabet?

Is that what you're saying? No. You don't know the alphabet? I don't know in order. I know all the letters, but I don't know when they come in. How far do you go? That's what I mean. It's the top, start now.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, O, yeah. H, O? Yeah, that's what I'm telling you, bruv. I swear, this isn't a bit, I swear. I do not, my daughter will know the alphabet before I do. And why do you not think it's all right to know the alphabet? Why have you got such a problem with the alphabet? It's not I've got a problem with it.

I've never bothered learning. I know all the letters. I know every letter in the alphabet. I just don't, I don't know which order they came in. I can't tell you, like, I know, look, I can tell you who came in first and who came in last. The rest of it's just a mix. I'm like, I don't know. I'm like, fucking, all right, there's M, N, O, P, yeah. I know they're probably looking around again. Yeah, but I don't know at what point they came in. I'm telling you now, it's like,

like, I know that S, ST is somewhere around in the back but you know it's a lottery. Is this a bit? I swear it's not a bit I swear. Catherine and me joke about it all the time. I swear on my life. Just let me know this when when you are joking about it is she crying? No no she is like you're gonna have to learn it because it'll be very embarrassing that if Grace knows. It's like times tables'm like, you know. Times tables I get. Times tables I get. If you don't know your times tables, fine. Yeah, I mean, I'm good up to that. I don't actually have a, well, I don't have a problem

with anything you do, but I don't have a problem with you not knowing the alphabet. It's just you having a problem with it, as in like, you sort of agree. No, no, no, no, I think you seem to be, it's one thing to not know the alphabet, because I understand. This isn't necessarily about me and the alphabet. This is about be, it's one thing to not know the alphabet because I understand. This isn't necessarily about me and the alphabet.

This is about people, like when I was at school, like teachers would go like, you know, do your alphabet and I'd always struggle. Then some of that's down to dyslexia, which at this point I wasn't aware of. But also I was like, I know all the letters. I don't need to know the order they came in at. Do you know what I mean? I don't know why you're putting so much pressure on the fact of going, like I could, you know, I'd say my writing career has been pretty successful, as a writer I'd say

that I'm pretty decent what I do, and there's no point of it, I've got, am I writing a word which is struggling, you know, with dyslexia struggling, that I've ever got to sit there and go, oh, oh, at what point did Wes W sit within the mix of the alphabet? He's doing his job anyway, he's fucking coming into our work. Yeah, this is where, okay, I think part of the reason that you have the alphabet is to demonstrate that you do know all the letters, okay? If you're teaching a class and you go, do you know all the letters of the alphabet?

And they go, A, B, C, D, and do the whole thing. Then you go, okay, you know. Then you go to the next kid and you go, do you know all the letters of the alphabet? And they go, ABC, do you? And do the whole thing. Then you go, okay, you know. Then you go to the next kid and you go, do you know the other letters of the alphabet? Yeah. Okay. Well, I know them, don't I?

Yeah, I know, I realize that, but I just sort of, I need to know that you know all the, well, I know them. Okay, well, can you just say the other? Well, no, I don't wanna get fucking started. What matter, what order do you matter, what order they came into the pub? I know, I look around the pub, I see all these letters.

I love the idea of a 10 year old me speaking. So fucking beat it up. I see them as my kiff and my kin. Some of the sweetest, sweetest souls I've ever come across. Doesn't mean I have to know what order they came in. Just trust me on this. And let me just get, let me just, don't get me started on the lack of trust

that you're demonstrating as a teacher by the way. Okay, if I say you should be good enough as a man of my word and my honour, if I say to you I know the letters of the alphabet, then I know the letters of the alphabet. And I'd appreciate if you backed away from me on this. I've had a very difficult 72 hours. Chill out. Chill out, I know what I'm fucking saying. Shut the go, you're right. All right, Tomo, it's about that time, IJ.

What a fun time we've had. Could you please do us the honour of taking us out? Erin Source was a princess of a land that I can't think of a name of, but it's like one of those made up ones from a Disneyland, let's call it like, Bageley. She was a princess and she reigned supreme and in the land in which she ran she was often given gifts of extreme nature. She was given beautiful banquets with tables as long as you can imagine, filled with delicacies and food such as prawn cocktails and roast dinners and nice big trifles and such. She was also given dresses and horses and carriages and big shoes that she could wear that were

fancy and anyone else's shoes. And often as she was given these gifts the more she was given the less she enjoyed them and she would look around subsequently at other people with not so much. However one day when she was on her travels in her big flash carriage eating a big pork pie that was the size of a hubcap, she went past a man who was walking on his own. He was an elderly man and she thought, hmm, look at him walking. He looks like he's really struggling with the walk whilst I sit here in this carriage enjoying this big pork pie. I say enjoying, I'm not really enjoying because I had a big breakfast this morning and lada lada lada lada. So she slows up her carriage and she says to the old man, she says, Hey fella, where you headed to?

And he said, I'm headed to another imaginary place from Disneyland. Let's call it, I don't know, Plug-Fi. So she's like, well jump in, I'm headed to Plug-Fi myself. So they sit together and he said, oh, it's nice this carriage. So, so comfortable. I can't remember when I last sat on a seat like this. she's like oh, they're really notice the seats and he's like Yeah, they're really comfortable. They're really cushioned and silky and she's like, yeah, I guess they are. They're really nice Would you like to have some pork pie? He's like pork pie. I've never had pork pie before

She says well, you know, it's this is why I have this pretty much three or four times a week It's no big deal to me. The man takes a bite of the pork pie and it's like something stops in the world. It's almost like rays of sunshine come from his mouth. It's like the world slows down for just a second and his face is just a thing of joy. He smiles and he savours every bite. His eyes close and his head rocks back.

And she's like, Oh, I never felt like that when I'm eating a pork pie. And he's like, this is the most delicious thing I've ever eaten. And she's like, it's just a pork pie. And he's like, No, this thing's incredible. They talk a while and they have some of her nice cigarettes and a couple of lines of her special cocaine. And as they pull up it plugs my eye or whatever I called it. He says, that's the most amazing journey I've enjoyed every, every moment of it. The by it, whatever I called it. He says, thank you for the most amazing journey. I've enjoyed every moment of it. The pork pie, the carriage, the cocaine.

And she's like, no, but this has just been a normal journey. And he's like, no, this journey is anything but normal. He gets out and he walks away. And she sits there for a second and thinks, wow, all of these things, all these things I've been given, all the presents. But the greatest present of all was actually sharing it and seeing the delight someone else has given. So when she got back to her house she opened up the doors and

started giving stuff away. Not everything but a lot of stuff and she saw the joy that that brings and I guess that's the truth of life. Sometimes it's easier to hold tight your own, sometimes it's easier to hold a deck of cards and not twist but stick, not share what you've got. And that comes with problems, it comes with advice and it comes from your own heart as well. Opening up and sharing is very important and whether that's giving a guy on the street some money for a big issue or putting your arm around someone and saying are you okay and getting a little press to their problems. It's an important thing that we do. So think about

Erin in that carriage, not really enjoying the ride and then think about the guy sitting there eating that pork pie. Who do you want to be? Enjoy life friends and remember it's caring, it's sharing and there ain't much more to this ride. Wow it's really a roller coaster. Really nice, really nice work, Tom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I intend on sort of teaching Grace about sharing. Yeah, that feels good. Probably without the cocaine reference.

Yeah, yeah, maybe, you know, it needs a bit of an edit. Okay, JT, could you play us out with a metal classic, Enter Samba on my Metallica? Whoa! It's gonna go off. Guys, we will see you next time. Thank you so much for listening to this little piece of audio magic that we call the Wolf and Our Podcast.

Brr, brr, br or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.