Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 34: Holidays, Hay Fever & Jet Lag

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

We’re talking… struggling with hay fever and jet-lag, the Wolf on holiday, Rom’s US work travels, knowing too much about Beavo, the awkwardness of VIP areas, disappointing a whole stag-do, a swing in a restaurant, an England vs Slovakia Euros de-brief, raw-dosing on flights, WhatsApp anxieties, heavy metal massages, Tom’s suncream back-roller invention, the problems with making binge-able television and Grace's new favourite kids program. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Attention all soccer fans! From Orlando to Los Angeles, take to the fields of the USA for your next vacation. Ready to kick off? Discover exciting games and events. Plus, find amazing hidden gems in cities full of adventures, delicious food, and diverse cultures. You'll love it so much you'll want to extend your stay beyond the matches. Get the ball rolling on your soccer getaway. Head to visittheusa.com. This episode is brought to you by PC Optimum. If you like a curated playlist, why not try a curated grocery list? With Swap and Save, the new feature in the PC Optimum app, you'll get PC Optimum's best price for your grocery items. Simply add products to your

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Yo. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all ass requests to steady your nerves Then podcast a body parts get severed and served

Bring your weak shit where the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck the censorship. Let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill never sheeps clothing Dark enough to turn the Sun to the moon. You'll see nothing. All your ears are half a puff and Expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog

Hello, hello welcome to the wall for now. Well, I've got hay fever and jet lag. I feel like shit Are you bugged? You're bugged up hay fever. My hay fever's bad. I'm bugged up. I'm bugged up. My eyes are you know They don't look healthy at the best of times, but now... They're teaming up with Warren. Yeah, I don't want to be disgusting on this podcast, but it's a real... I don't understand the evolutionary reason for this happening. Why does... Haviv is the biggest prick, man. I've got it bad.

I'm so bad with it. and nothing seems to help it. No, I'm dosed up. I've got a thousand tissues on me. It's a real low point for me. Have you done the thing when you sneeze and just so much, you think it's gonna be quite a dry sneeze and it's a big wet sneeze, but you're in public and you sort of catch it and your hands are just

packed full of snot. No, that's never ever happened to me. You're joking. It's disgusting. No, have's never ever happened to me. You're joking. It's disgusting. No. Have I snotted into my own house? Are you asking? How have you never happened? You've got hay fever. Well, there are some steps between having hay fever and then snotting into your own house. No, you blow your nose quite vacantly and then you're standing there and you go,

oh, this feels like a dry sneeze because I don't feel like I've got any gunk in my face. And you snot. And you snooze. And then it just sort of jacks into your hands. No, that's not happening. Fucking hell, that's mad. I mean, what I've done, it probably has done once, but not so much as I'd give you a dab for having a shared experience.

Yeah. How have you been? You're on holiday, right? Yeah, I'm on holiday. Just chill, man. Just a little chill But I've got I'm quite bunged up both ends for me. I've got bugged up with hay fever But I know what it is whether it's the water over here or whatever. I'm usually quite a regular kind of guy I'm sort of uh, you're struggling to

Have you not been to the toilet? I've been but it's it's very sort of well need only three times this morning. No, no, but they're very Me is it me go is that word a very sort of yeah. Well, yeah Okay, so yeah, you're taking me go shits. Yeah, they're just yeah I mean if a rabbit if a rabbit was said to have had the shits I'm having the rabbit would go Yeah, I need to eat more carrots. But, yeah, for me, I'm just like, yeah. I like to go and I like to know I've been. I like to leave a little impression on the toilet.

And at the moment I'm feeling I'm not doing that. Yeah, I know that, you've been around. We're still dealing with it. Bit of crack porcelain. I just don't understand it. I've used like bi-carb or whatever. It's like nuclear this day and it will not come out. This is a skid box that won't leave like an unwelcome Christmas guest. You've been around the world right? You've been around the world. You've been traveling. Yes,

yes. I've been to Los Angeles and Las Vegas for Robert Romish versus. Yeah, that's good. The budget on that show is getting bigger, right? You're getting some sweet squill after that now. Wow. You go to Vegas, you go to LA. No, they're nice things. They're amazing things to do.

Yeah, as part of the show, we're not going on a holiday thing. It's for work. You and Rob together, that's got to be a bit of a holiday, right? No, it's really a holiday thing. It's for work. You and Rob together, that's got to be a bit of a holiday, right? No, it's really, really hard work. I can't imagine that anyone has got a tougher job as I do working on that show. You sound like Bevo. Yeah, big up the, you know the rules. It really upsets me that I know so much about Bevo.

I know too much about Bevo. Bevo's become my, like him and his girlfriend, Sophia. People are going to get so frustrated because there's going to be so many people that don't know anything about this because they've actually, like, him and his girlfriend, Sophia. People are gonna get so frustrated, because there's gonna be so many people that don't know anything about this, because they've actually got lives. Yeah, I know, yeah. Actually, that's what I worry about,

is that I'm putting too much pressure on Bevo to keep my own, it's like me holding onto my youth. So, let's give a bit of context, because this is what we do, this is what you're supposed to do on a proper broadcast. So Bevo is a guy on TikTok, who became- He's a TikTokker. He became TikTok famous

for swallowing his food without chewing it, right? Because he had some problem with his teeth. Principally roast potatoes. Yeah, so he'd like, he'd go, okay, Bevo, you know the rules, try to eat this potato. And then- No, then he'd seven out of 10 was everything, right?

Yeah, he'd score everything seven out of 10. And then he became bizarrely incredibly popular yeah I mean now he's had quite a rollercoaster he's given up his job he wanted to basically I guess swallow roast potatoes full-time he said he said his teeth sorted out so now he can chew and that's taken he's had those turkey teeth and he's had turkey teeth put in his teeth are actually butchered but he's had turkey teeth put in. His teeth are actually been butchered, but he's got fake teeth over his original teeth.

He's with a girl that's also like a TikTokker or OnlyFans or something. She's OnlyFans, yes. And then he just does this mad stuff. Like he was like really flexing for a while, like sort of going, he went on a podcast, didn't he? He said that people that do nine to five jobs are slaves. And he's glad he's opted out of it.

And now he's saying that the podcast made him do that because they wanted to have an angle. And now he's kind of fallen off. And now he's doing videos where he's going, well, so you know the rules on broke. Don't know what's going on. Yeah, he's broke and his girlfriend's left. Well, Pat, but then... She's back now, though? Yeah. I mean, why do I know so much?

Yeah, I know more about the vote. I do quite a lot of my I know more of what be wise up to Probably a lot of my immediate family. Yeah, that's what I'm like Well, they're about to catch up about to catch up with Charlie because I've been so up to date with what be wise up to Bevos like your fourth son So anyway, no, it was good fun going away. But I had a bit of a, so I flew back on Friday night, because I had to do the radio show on Saturday. Get back to the hotel, get to this hotel.

By the way, I want to tell you this now. I stayed in, you know I told you the Langham's opposite BBC, and I stayed there. Yeah, I know, but they're Langham's. Yeah, and you felt like it was, I guess a betrayal, a let down, you felt like I wasn't. I felt let down by you actually. I stayed in a different hotel. I'm now in solidarity for you.

I stayed in a different hotel. Which was fine. The next morning I go to do the radio show, radio show was great. And then Dinesh, my brother, who you know very well obviously, it was his birthday weekend celebration. So he basically organized for us to go to this thing called Gin and Juice, which is this like all-day old-school hip-hop event in Brightwell. So we go to that, they sorted us out VIP. What was slightly embarrassing was the VIP was like,

if you imagine there's a dance floor and then the VIP is like elevated, like on the side of the dance floor. So- Oh, that's kind of cool though, old school. Is it? It looks like you've put yourself on like- It's an old school.

I mean, it was very cool of them to do that. I found it slightly nerve wracking because like you basically- So you're overlooking the dance floor. Yes, yeah. That's what an old VIP back in the overlooking a dance floor. Yeah, that's what old VIP I know that I know that bro, but do you not think like What with my social anxiety I found that? Yeah, of course for you, but for a lot of people who go VIP is a flex, right?

They want to be everyone's got a work on the con stage. There's blah blah blah. Yeah, there's Taylor Swift. She's here Yeah, yeah, well I found it well agonizing not agonizing I did a bit of dancing but then it looks like that my problem is I just look like everything else doing was for display and also I was deeply essentially by that point point you've become like you're an animal in the zoo or an aquarium do you want a knife and fork are you happy to just tuck in as you are? No, no, I'm just saying I'm not blaming you for it. I'm saying that there's two, look let me just get this perfectly clear, I'm not having to go at you. I'm saying there's two different types of VIP area. There's a VIP area that's very discreet and you go to it and you don't

want to be seen, you want to just chill with your friends, it's almost like a little back room somewhere. And then there's a VIP area that you want to be on display and you want everyone to see it. I'm saying, I know which one you'd rather be in, right? But you've gone to a very old school night and they've probably gone, right, yeah, all the celebrities here probably want to be seen.

Yeah, I mean, they're very nice. It's very well looked after and there's no reason for them to think that I would find that tricky, but I did find it tricky. But it was fun. It was a fun. It was a fun day anyway, guess about nine o'clock Everyone's you know had a nice time We got to get some food as I'm walking It's still like light out right about nine o'clock or whatever because it's like going from two till nine or something

Well, we carried on but anyway, I'm going into too much detail. I'm walking along, okay, so my brain is shot to pieces because I'm jet lagged, right? So I'm not really, to the point where, I don't know if you've ever had jet lagged, to the point where you can't actually have a conversation, your brain is not giving you what you need, chat wise. Right, so we're walking along,

and a few people are like asking for photos and stuff, which is fine Somebody goes to me. I saw you in the thing. He looks really miserable Then I found myself over explaining the fact I'd jetlag then it looked like I was being an absolute wanker talking about I've been That's the thing I said that I went yeah, sorry, I'm just really naked I've just got back from Yeah, it was like that Let's go back for radio show. I've just got back from Vegas. You're sweating from LA, man. Yeah, it was like that. I can be in LA and Vegas. Let's go back for my radio show. I didn't mean it to be like that, but that's what happened.

Anyway, this stag dude came up to me and asked for some... What? I'm forward to the stag dude, not just one, the whole group. The whole group came up, right, and asked for a photo with the group, right? So I do the photo. Nice, nice. As I do that, this girl, this woman walks over and she goes, she goes, she goes, Oh my God, look, she's taking a piss. Oh my God, look, it's

Rishi Sunak. Right? Oh, yeah. Real dick. That's such a horrible thing to say. So I can't give that woman a gratis because that is like a horrible thing, but she's really gone into Roast you there. Yeah. That's a roast move. In front of a stag do as well.

In front of a stag do, right? So I turn around, well I don't turn around, I'm facing her, but you know, that's what you say in these situations. Yeah. I turn around and I go to say something, but because my brain's not functioning, I actually disappointed the stag do with my response,

because it was so witness. I was so tired, I just went, why don't you go fuck yourself? Oh, wow. Yeah, yeah. OK. It gets worse. She had a leopard skin dress on. I said, why don't you go fuck yourself walking around here

like a dead leopard? Go fuck yourself. Oh, my God. To the point where one of my mates put his hand on mine and said, Ron, like just, just, you just leave it bro. Because quite a 90s look as well, she's just getting to the spirit of things, it's quite Mel B look isn't it? Well she wasn't at the thing. I was sure it wasn't at the thing. She just randomly came up and called me Rishi Sunak. Anyway, I then had to deal with that embarrassment of like, I was like, oh my God. And the Stag deal were like a bit like they were nice guys, but I think that, you know, like when you've watched someone make a bit of a tit of themselves. Yeah. But you're so they're sort of like, anyway, really nice to meet you, mate. Thanks for the photo.

It was so, it was so bad. I don't want any record. I don't want anyone to remember that moment. He's my favourite comedian. I reckon they spent the rest of the night silently sat in a bar. I want to enjoy myself. I'm getting married next week. That was horrible. I keep thinking how dignified that was for our hero.

Yeah, it was bad, man. And then we went to get some Indian, which is delicious. Absolutely. I mean, after a long day like that, shout out the business, shout out the business. Let's get them done. Mowgli. Have you eaten in a Mowgli? No, I haven't eaten in a Mowgli.

They've got a weird set up. It's really nice, but they've got this weird set up where some of the tables have got swings to the seats. Oh wow. Swings to the seats or? Like the tables there and then to the seats. Oh wow. Swings to the seats? Or? Like the table's there and then you're sitting on a swing. I mean it's chained so you can't really move around too much

but you are like jiggling a bit. That's quite hard. Well has it got back to the swing? No. You're joking. You've got an exceptional core to eat at a table with a swing like that. Well I don't have an exceptional core and it's fine

So you saw this? Yes Then I've been to Mowgli before and I sat on the swing but we didn't sit on the swing on this particular one Yeah, so mate. So what happened at the end of me or you leave back and go quiet lovely boy We fall off. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I'll be fine. Yeah Yeah, but surely I love nothing more than finishing food, like leaning back like I lean now. I just go, that's absolutely delicious. That was, yeah. I actually think, and I've said this before, I think that's a moment, that's like winning a penalty and scoring it for a chef when he looks out and goes, I know Big Phenna's just

finished it, look at him lean back. He's really enjoyed that. Well done everyone. Everyone, well done. I imagine he'd look at you and he'd go, well just for a bit of context, that guy's the sort of bloke that does that when he's eating a plain cheese sandwich.

So I wouldn't get too excited. This is the difference between you and him. You'd be there going, oh no, no, no, no. He'll just lean back at everything. You've got big-up spirits of people. Yeah, well, what I would say is the curry was great. What I would say, I need to stop saying that. The curry was great.

They do a dish called, I think it's called tamarind fries, and it's like a little load of cubed potato chips with this tamarind treacle over the top of it. Oh my God. With some red chili sliced in there, bit of onion. Oh my God. And then I said to the guys, because I'd ordered it, I said to the guys I was with, do you want to try some?

They started smashing fruit, man. I was not happy. I was just like, try a bit. Try a bit. You can't, it's like just, that's like being a crack dealer when you've only got a little wrap a crack. Yeah It's exactly what it's like, you know You know fucking if you've got a little bit of crack that you've got to see for yourself for the night You gotta keep that stuff. So anyway, I want to take this opportunity to apologize to that girl

I think she probably be first we call a woman if she was out of that time I think she probably preferred to be called a woman if she was out of that time rather than a girl. Well it's 9pm. I'm not saying, sorry, did I say, can I just apologise to that little girl? Did I say that? Did I say that? No man, a woman would be, it's almost like you're still not taking a take. I think she was in her 20s.

Is that a girl? Yeah, she's a woman then, that's a woman. But you can say girl can't you? I don't know if you can. Mate, if I called you a boy, I thought like, you know. Well you do, I thought you were ready for the podcast, boy. You're gonna go to this podcast, boy. No, that's different, that's an affectionate.

But if I turned around and went, yeah, I'd like to say to that boy. Yeah, okay, that's a good point. Yeah, do you know what I'm saying to that man? Now you've put it like that, yeah. You've actually done me there. So I don't like to say to that man. No, you've put it like that. That, yeah. You've actually done me there. So I'd just like to say to that horrible woman. No, I know.

There's a bit of little taste in your mouth from that woman. Rightly so. Yeah. Well, she's horrible. She wouldn't apologize to us. I wouldn't apologize, but I do think you're gonna be like,

if you're gonna- Well, I repeatedly said, go fuck yourself to this woman. Yeah, yeah. When you were saying it, were you laughing it were you Were you laughing or you quite just pissing? I was trying to figure out what she meant by calling me where she's saying that like I think there's a connotation of racism. That's exactly that's exactly what I was trying to figure out Which means that she can go fuck herself

There's a connotation of like just that's also probably the most offensive thing that you could call someone right now Yeah, because the guy's a fucking idiot. Yeah, there's not a nice connotation of it. No, no, but I was trying to figure out in the moment how much I think she meant it. Because there's a world in which she goes, there's a famous person called Rishi Sunak, I'm just calling her Rishi Sunak. There's another world in which she goes, there's an Asian man having a photo taken with him. Yeah, I think she's thought, that's Ramesh Ranganathan, who's another famous Asian man, Rishi Sunak, that would be funny. So I don't think it warrants an apology. Right, well...

She's been an absolute piece of shit. Right, but what I would say is my response was graceless. I think that I probably overreacted in my moment of tiredness. But I'd also like to apologize to the Stag do, who probably walked up to me thinking, wouldn't it be nice to have a photo taken with this guy that we like his stuff and have walked away. I would imagine not being able to ever watch anything

I do ever again as a result of what they saw. So it's unfortunate. I'm sorry, guys, I'm not normally like that. It was jet lag because I don't know if I think I mentioned it to you. I just got back from Vegas the previous night. And LA to do your radio show. Yeah, come back to do the radio to show. Straight to the radio show. I had to come down here to this big hip hop night. I don't know if you saw me in the VIP sack. Wow.

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Visit Ancestry.ca and get started with an Ancestry DNA Kit today. So that was my Saturday. Then Sunday, again, I saw Dinesh. Him and my mom came over for a little kind of get-together at our house and We settled down to watch England in the Euros And

It's my question for you I don't know how much I assume people are across what happened but terrible terrible games Slovakia went one-nil up Blah blah blah, and then we scored Jude Bellingham scored in the what? 95th minute, right? Yeah, exceptional goal. Exceptional goal. Here's my question to you. The game was incredibly frustrating. Foden had a goal disallowed. Really difficult watch, right? We weren't good. And then Bellingham scored that goal.

The feeling of elation when he scored that goal was... Yeah, when I was watching in a bar out here. Right. And yeah, it was pretty amazing. It went off big. Here's my question to you. Is that feeling, if you're talking about football as a consumer product, right, which is what it is,

we watch it because, well, we're tied in now, but you're watching it for enjoyment, right? It enhances your life. So if you think of that as like a film, right? If you think of that game as a film, was the agony of watching England play as shit as they did, which they were shit for the majority of that game, watching England play for as long as they were at that standard,

was that paid off by the drama of that girl? What I mean is as a consumer experience, I lost my mind when Bellingham equalized. Yeah, yeah. And when Kane scored, I thought was incredible. Look, I'll say, number one, I think, I followed, yeah, I'm either two or three, I've been away, I've followed England,

I've been to many different tournaments, watched England. Firstly, I don't know what the big surprise is that we're not necessarily playing that well. This always happens. Secondly, I would say, by the way, the whole of this tournament is arguably the worst international tournament I've ever watched in my life. Wow. Besides Spain and Germany, usually you go to a tournament, you go, that's an amazing game. Even if England aren't playing you go, oh, they look good. They look Spain look great. Like I watched Portugal

last night. Awful game. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. France versus Belgium to the what should be to the best sides in international football. Wohful game. Like they're not it's not like being like the Swiss look up. There's not like you're not sitting here going, okay, England on all that's not like the Swiss look up, you're not sitting here going, okay England aren't all that, but the rest of them are, everyone else looks at it. It's just a really boring tournament all in all. And I think Gareth Southgate is getting a lot of, it's probably because he's coming to the end of his tenure. I think there's changes he could have made, things he could have done differently.

But you sort of doubt if you do, doubt if you don't. If he drops Belen, if he drops whoever, people are going, well, he's not really playing that well. Drops Kane, and then Tony comes in and Tony doesn't play very well. It's like, why are you dropping Eric? I think the air of everything is changing. I saw an interview with him and he sort of mentioned this, he's not as popular as he was. And I think everything's turned, sort of you can feel people waiting for him to lose a game.

I hope generally more than anything, he wins the tournament just for Gareth Southgate and for this crop of players who I think have, over the last eight years They've been brilliant for us. I will say When I was watching this game with a group of people in a bar some of the stuff that people are saying is So toxic and so it's a xenophobic Xenophobic aggressive towards not to Southgate but like I was sitting near a person who spent

the whole game just absolutely destroying Jude Bell in them and when he scored was just like he was, he took about 12 people out of the bar jumping on them and it was like that's my boy and I'm thinking well if he could have heard you for the last fucking 95 minutes, he'd be, but also when you sit there and you listen to this, and I've been lying to say that I've not let England games in the past sort of get to me and whatever, as a dad and someone now, I look at it and think, if England win a tournament, it's gonna be amazing. It'll be a great night, it'll be a brilliant,

is it gonna change my life personally? Not really. Is it gonna, you know, if England go out in the next round to Switzerland, is it, you know, it will be a bit of a gutter, but will it change my life? Not really. It will be a bit of a shit thing. And it's happened to me over the last 35 years

when I've watched football as a big fan. It happens, but it's like the insane side of it. And I think, you know what? Open Myers, when me and you went to that Scotland game and you talked to me about what you did, and I watched that documentary really recently about The England, you know, Wembley when they you know, the raid on Wembley or whatever it's called on Netflix And you see you see it and you I don't know whether it's more like I just think that sort of talks toxic

Aggression that comes from it. So I so what's that game and then I watched the Spanish game afterwards, the low Spanish people. And they were just so much, it was so lovely watching it and even the Spanish people watching England were like, why are you getting so angry? Like, you know, it's like there's Portuguese people here watching in the hotel, watching the Portuguese game, you know, getting a bit annoyed but they weren't at any point, like when you're chatting, weren't at any point using the slurs and sort of that sort of language about their own players.

Why is that? Because I'm not sure. There's a part of me that culturally think, like, I don't know, to see that aggression, and also is what, what I can't stand, and this is kidding, is people aren't really football fans, right? So there's one guy sitting next to me I had a bit of a ding-dong with because he was laying into Saka.

And I was like, in this 90 minutes, right, Saka has had to play three different positions and played them brilliantly, right? He's actually had a really, really good game, right? But he's played right wing, he's played left back, he's played right wing back. He's had to go to three different places. During the game, that's very difficult, right?

What is your problem with Bakari Sak? What's your, Bakari Sak, why do you hate him? He was so angry, like, you're like, why are you making him the thing? You know, and it is just, yeah, I don't know. It's just this anger that just seems to rest in people. And it comes out, and you watch him drink more and more pints, and you're like, oh man,'t know. It's just this anger that just seems to rest in people and it comes out and you watch them drink more and more Pints and you're like, oh man, you know and sort of weird

I'm sitting there because it's a nice bar sitting with my daughter some friends my my wife And you sort of done thinking I really want grace being around this. This isn't really what I think football should be Yeah, it's a weird one Obviously, it's not exclusive to England fans But you do and and there's an argument that we see it more of England fans because we watch more England We know you watch more of England than you do it If I've obviously watched more football with England fans than I've with any other nationality. Yeah, but you but it feels like We do it more. I don't know and

It would be it, because it would be disingenuous to say it's every England fan, because there's a lot of people in that bar having a good time. I think it's because it's your country. What always stuck to me, actually, and it's worth saying, is when you went to that Scotland-England game, the difference between the Scottish fans and England fans. Well, that's what I think is a big thing.

You talk about the Scottish fans at the Euros, I know they went out, but they get on it, is a big thing. So you talk about the Scottish fans at the Euros, I know they went out, but they get on it, but you don't seem to hear as much kind of agginess between them and other, like I just feel like it might be a perception thing. I feel like our fans don't behave ourselves as much as other countries. Yeah, but also the Scottish fans are there and they're happy to be there. What I mean just as well, when we were chatting to the Scottish fans, when we went into that bar before the England game that time, we were with the Scottish fans, they were so nice and there was such a laugh to us. They knew we were both England fans, but as soon as we came out of that bar and then that English guy started on you and it was like just turned aggressive, I was like what the

fuck is going on? And I think that sort of like self-deprecating way that the Scottish go to it, it's like, okay, we might just play three games here, we're gonna have a good laugh. I don't know whether, because I'm 66 or whatever, that we won it once or we invented the game or whatever, there's this idea that we should be in every final, we should be winning every tournament. Quite frankly, that, we're just not, if we win this tournament, great, whatever.

I just think, I don't know, I look at it and think, if you win it, is this a tournament? It's just, we're not playing, it's not being entertaining. It is what it is. I just think, yeah, it's quite a, I get it. So every time I sort of try to get excited, I just get surrounded by dickheads, and I think, I don't wanna be a part.

I was genuinely embarrassed to be in a foreign bar full of really nice people and then see how the way some England fans act and that's what really I felt like. I felt like that with my mum and Dinesh to be honest with you, they were disgusting. Dinesh is quite disgusting when he's watching football. Oh, so racist.

He's got real hatred for John Stones. John Stones, he hates. Oh, just goes in on him. I don't know what his problem is. But no, it was nice, man. But I'm still in a situation where the jet lag hasn't left me. I could fall asleep right now.

If you said to me, sleep, you'd be like a hypnotist. I could sleep right now. When you were flying back, you know what I tried when I was flying out here? I tried raw dogging. I tried that raw dogging. Oh, God.

Why? Sorry, this thing now, where you don't watch any entertainment, you just sit there, what, looking at the flight map or something for the entire flight? Well, there was no flight map because I fly with BA, so it wasn't anything that classy. So I tried to get the flight map up on my phone.

So this is what, so I was sitting there, I thought, I've got Grace and Catherine with me, I'd set up Grace with her little area. She loves flying, by the way, so she's got little iPads to watch stuff, some little toys, some little games to play. Catherine's then just chilling. She loves flying.

I think she loves playing with her toys and looking at the screen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves walking up and down. She's fearless, by the way. There was a whole rugby team on her flight, right? She goes through these rugby players, just squeezed between them.

I'm then trying to get through them, sort of like, oh, sorry, just gonna come through here, mate, sorry. And they're all like, all right, mate, go. And then Grace picked up the phone that the SU and SUs and started shouting down it. Nice. And the whole flight, yeah, which was very proud of her at that moment. Sort of like, yeah.

And she's obsessed with just saying pooper at the moment, so she was just screaming down the... That's embarrassing for you, somebody that can't curl one out currently. Yeah, yeah. It's almost like she's taunting you. Well, she's very much in the same predicament. It's something we're sharing at the moment. So I was raw talking, but then I sort of got bored of raw dogging

and started again annoyed with the fact that I hadn't downloaded enough stuff to watch on my phone. And then I looked sort of the guy in front of me, like he was an elderly gentleman, he's probably in his 60s, right? And he's on Instagram, right? And he's on Instagram, right? And he's probably 50, 60s. And he's scrolling through Instagram and he finds a picture of a girl who must have been in her early 20s. I think woman, I think woman, Tom.

Oh, okay. She's in her 20s, all right? Okay, okay, okay. You've got me. You've got me, okay. Okay. I feel so good. I feel like Jude Benningham. I can see the elation there. Okay, okay, you've got me. You've got me, okay. Okay. I feel so good.

I feel like Gene Benninger. I can see the elation there. You've waited, what's that? 29 minutes in, the overhead kick. And he looks at his picture. He's got his WiFi working. By the way, I don't know, I can't get my WiFi working on this flight for some reason.

Not enough to download it. Well, you have to log in and pay for it Oh, okay. Well, yeah Yeah, I'm a tight guy He liked the picture right and then he did this thing where he sort of his wife sit next to read the book He looks at his wife and then he saved the picture for later. Oh God, how do you know that's one of the creep? I could see on it over his shoulder. You see where he saves it. I was like, that's a creepy thing to see.

On your way to holiday? Yeah. Oh, no. It's a really like, you know, you just sort of think. Did you say anything? Well, I told Caffin and Caffin was absolutely disgusted. I mean, I was disgusted. I think you should say something. I would have said something.

I would have said, look, mate, just couldn't help noticing what you're doing there. You know, you can get privacy screened, so people can't see that. What? Which I in my head, I was just like, number one, I know him and his wife going on holiday. I don't want to be the guy ruined on a holiday by going out, by the way, your husband's saving pictures of young girls. No, but I'm only joking.

You shouldn't say anything. It's not your business. No, no, but you know, you look at him and think, what's he going to do? We kind of know what he's doing with that picture, right? No, what's he doing? Well, I think it's save for a time when he's on his own, maybe. Kindling for a little solo session.

Yeah. Get the fire going. Why else would you save it? I don't know. I couldn't, yeah. And then there's sort of like, I went up to get to the toilet and walked past him, he sort of nodded and smiled at me and sort of,

I just, yeah. I think actually this is in the same thing. We'll probably save that image as well in the, mind map. Probably flicking between those two images when he got to the toilet at the hotel. When we got to the airport, when we landed, we were at the luggage carousel,

and this guy comes up to me, starts chatting to me about England and football, whatever. And he's chatting away, and the sort of luggage is coming through, and I took my luggage off. And there's a lady and the sort of luggage is coming through and I'd slip my luggage off. And there's a lady who comes up to Nixon and she's got one of those trolley things, right? And some luggage comes around and she grabs one of those suitcases, it's quite heavy, and she's sort of like pulling it off the carousel and she sort of makes, you know, it's quite,

evidently quite heavy, she's struggling a bit with it. And I said, oh, and he was standing right next to me, oh no, just let me, no, so he helps her with this suitcase and he puts it on the trolley and then he starts chatting to me again. And another suitcase comes around, this woman's struggling with it again and he just sort of like tucks and helps her again.

And then one more suitcase comes around, he pulls it off the carousel and then I help her this time. And then he sort of, she's then sort of standing with this trolley and I'm like chatting to him and he went, oh, I better go. Cause pointed at this woman, he went, come on then, let's go.

And it was his wife. It was one of the worst things I've ever seen. And then so walking off, he was sort of having to go, like she'd ruined this conversation we were having. And she was having to go back about like what the Fuck you've just made me struggle these suitcases. You know, you just like oh Man, it was one of the worst things I've seen for a long time really really fucking heartbreaking vibes did I tell you about when I am I

Helped a woman with her. I've got my sorry. I've sort of got distracted there because I've got my, sorry, I've slightly got distracted there because I've put WhatsApp onto my laptop. It's one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. So I was just pinging away as I'm talking to you. Anyway. How many messages do you get in a day from WhatsApp? What, rough average? Yeah. I don't know, like 50?

You're so much more popular than I am. Well, it's a lot of of his work stuff, but like I say, it's not stuff for you. It's not like to me. It'll be like on groups and stuff like that. Somebody who posts up some, the latest video. By the way, I'm probably in like two groups. Then my group game is dropped. Do you want to put you in a couple of groups?

No, no, no, no, no, no. I was a voyeur in a lot of groups and I realise now that I think I've been dropped from those groups. And now I'm in a situation in my life where I'm like, actually, I'm having very little social interaction with people. Yeah, but you're not on WhatsApp very much anyway, are you? Well, I'll be on there more if people were messaging me. Yeah, but what I mean is that...

Wait, look, as much... I'm not going to go in a park and stand on the own Do I mean I'm not gonna just sit on what's happening some of fucking messages? No, but my point is is that when I text you You reply almost before I finish typing the text, right? On what's up this morning when I sent you the link for this The last message I sent you still hasn't this, the last message I sent to you still hasn't been double ticked. Well yeah, because we started this.

No, I know, but that message. I like text, I'm a classicist, I like text. Okay, so you're not an active WhatsApp-er, are you? I WhatsApp quite a lot, I'm on there. I'm online probably 60% of the day, just looking, just thinking. Well, you're very slow to reply to me on WhatsApp. Let me just say, I've got one, yeah,

oh, this is pathetic, I've got one WhatsApp message, I'm like, who's it from? I know it's from, it's from you. You've just told me, there's one. Yeah. I ignite a lot of the WhatsApp chats that I'm in. You what, sorry? I ignite, I sort of like. Ignite, I'm in. You what, sorry? I ignite.

I sort of ignite. Right. Okay. In what way? Or Instagram, it's probably a better word. Yeah. But I'm messaging people so they're messaging me back. Right. So you are messaging.

It's a bit of an endorphin, isn't there, when you get a message? Yeah. It's fucking, at least you feel like people are thinking about you. Even if they're thinking about you because you've just messaged them. Yeah. But that still counts to your mind. Yeah, if I message it, mate, can I say by the way, I think there's a lot of feeling,

the messaging and having a blue tick that someone doesn't reply to. Yeah, it's, I can't really complain because I do that a lot. I do leave messages unreplied to, not because I don't care. I mean, obviously, inadvertently, the, not because I don't care. I mean, obviously, inadvertently, the argument is that I don't care.

But I'll look and I'll get back to that, and then I never do, or I just forget, or whatever. That happens to me a lot. The spiral I'll have, if someone doesn't message me back, even if it's something really, really, like, a nay or something doesn't really matter to me, like someone I've got a very passing sort of conversation with, if I message them and then they don't message me back

and I've seen they've read it, it will kill me. It will take me out of the game for a few days. I do the same thing, actually. Bearing in mind that I am somebody that exhibits that behavior, if somebody does that to me, I start racking my brains going, what have I done that might have upset them? Yeah, I think about all my past interactions

then I start that it's very difficult for me to not send a follow-up just to sort of I'm quite Honestly, I said the follow-up quite a lot of the time quite quickly. Yeah, but can I follow up? It's usually an obligation for me to do or say or go somewhere I don't really want to go. Just so, like, it's a real fucking thirst trap. I usually throw myself onto a sword that I don't really want to be hanging from. Oh, I've lost you. I've lost, sorry, it's gone very quiet because I've lost Tom Davis.

He's in the middle of, he's got a horrible face on, not that he's got a horrible face, his face is fine, but it's not a good look. And he's gone. Oh, eco-friendly towels? And they're quick dry. Yeah, you know, HomeSense always has a lot of great towels? They're Quick Dry. Yeah, you know, HomeSense always has a lot of great towels. Let me see that.

Quick Dry. Will it dry quickly enough that I won't notice when you use my towel? Okay, that happened once. Maybe more than once. Anyways, these are only $13. $13? Okay. Let's get you this navy one and for me, the soft beige one. Deal so good, everyone approves.

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fresh lemons. The perfect balance of sweet and sour with a crisp, sesty edge. Welcome to the Garage, the place of refreshing hard lemonade. Available at the LCBO. Must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Are you back? Yeah, I don't know what the hell happened there. responsibly.

Oh, you're back. Yeah, I don't know what the hell happened there. I mean, what happened is you dropped out. Which, which could have happened at almost a more perfect time. Well, in my defense, from my point of view, it looks like you dropped out. Yeah, yeah, but like, like your, your text, even in that moment was quite accusatory you dropped out. Yeah, yeah, but like your text even in that moment was quite accusatory. You frozen. Yeah, yeah, but this is what I mean.

You frozen. I, in my head, started thinking have I opened up too much and have I shown too much weakness. Yeah, so can you repeat what you said please so that I can hear? You were talking about spiraling after somebody hasn't replied to a WhatsApp. Yeah, I will then. So I'll open myself up and go, hey, by the way, I was thinking we should meet up or go for a drink soon. Oh no. So you actually commit to that because you're trying to send something that... If someone hasn't responded to me in like a half hour to an hour,

I then start really worrying. Right, okay. But then someone said a thing to me the other day, which I thought was worrying me a bit. We were talking about someone and they said, oh you don't really like them do you? And I was like, I don't mind them. And they were saying, you're very, it's very clear if you don't like someone because you're very polite but you don't interact with them in the same way that you do with people that you're very fond of. I thought my ears were burning. Yeah, go on. It's clear to say I adore you, that beer. But I didn't realize that it was quite so obvious

if I don't, like I'm quite gregarious on chat and I'll be overly friendly if I'm really like, if I don't like someone I think they're disingenuous, I'm usually quite quiet around them or I find them quite, I don't open myself up as much. I find it very difficult if I don't if I don't find someone to be that's quite interesting I didn't know it was that that obvious right yeah I don't know I I I don't think I've seen you

around somebody you don't like so I can comment there's a very few people I don't certainly I mean I've certainly heard you talk about people you don't like that is that's come up a lot have I have I seen you talk about people you don't like. That is, that's come up a lot. Have I seen you? Have I seen you with somebody that I don't think I have? Yeah, because I try to avoid the people at the moment. Yeah. It's a weird thing, isn't it? I didn't realize it was that that that prevalent. You know, one of the things I had, I had a really nice massage yesterday.

Right. What's your deep tissue massage? No shadow, even though I'm dead. I had a deep tissue massage, right? This is the thing I've just sort of invented, right? Two things, two invention ideas. Number one, right? Heavy metal massages, right? You know, when you're sitting there and you're getting a really deep tissue massage and you're having them, they're really getting into it. But then in the background you've got any of them playing or something that's really like, sort of, yeah. I just think it doesn't suit what they're doing.

I think they're going in, it's all quite, because they're doing a deep tissue, it's quite a sort of like, you know, a sort of impressive massage. To relax you. No, no, no, no, not always. You want that sort of, sometimes I think in the background you want a bit of like, you know,

bit of pumping like hip hop or something like that. You want the music to sort of like be relevant of what the actual, sort of the deepness of the massage. It's invigorating. And you feel like you want the invigoratingness. Like I'm sitting there listening to Enya, you know that, which I love that song,

the feeling against Enya. And if I'm having a gentle massage and a little bit that one yeah it's such a good tune but it feels like Enya's mugged themselves off and the message nothing's coming together here it's I'm not gelling at all the two things together I really strongly disagree. Really? Yeah. You're lying there. You just want to be like, just like, it's just you want it to be like chilled. You know what I mean?

You don't want to. I think if you've got some heavy metal, I think then they're going in deeper and deeper. I think that would be anxiety inducing. You really? Is what I think, yeah. Because you know when they're really getting in and it starts to almost hurt a little bit,

and then you've got some guitar solo going off. I find that maybe maybe heavy metal is too much for like prog rock. Okay. All right. Yeah, maybe. I mean, I still disagree. But I think I'd love to. Yeah, but you know, whatever music you wanted. They just got on Spotify. Right. Just say to them, can you put it in Salika? Like for me, it's like you go in there and the masseuses iPod or iPhone is, is their business. I don't want to,

I don't want to start messing with that stuff. It's got, can you look, can you download this online? Why, please. Have you, uh, what, what cassettes have you got? Have you, what cassettes have you got? Do you mind if I have a look through your eight tracks to see what this is all about? You've got a cup of roses in there. Yeah, that's your one invention, that's shit. Okay, what's the other one? Here's the other one, and I think this is actually a game changer.

You know, like, you know when you're trying to put sun cream on your back? Yeah. You know, I think there should be like a paint roller. I think, okay, now we're talking. Now you've got yourself an invention. Because I'm like today, for example, Catherine's going out with friends.

I know I'm taking Grace to the pool. We're gonna chill at the pool. I'll be able to sun tan lotion myself apart from my back. It's usually Catherine does that. And you do not wanna give Grace the kind of trauma of her having to do that. No, no, no. That's got first therapy session written all over it.

Like her sitting there going, it was like, I was like two and a half and it was like kneading old dough. Soppy old, saggy dough. And I've not been able to eat bread since actually. Yeah, that thin skin that sort of almost translates to grey skin. It felt sort of hot and sweaty but also cold and clammy

at the same time. Like now when I'm buttering a cake case, I find it really, really hard. I find it like, cause it's like my dad's old skin used to be thin, thin horrible old man's skin just getting little hair splinters from his hairy back. Oh God. Did your parents ever ask you to put sun cream on for them? Yeah I think it's up but no I think they I think they kept that to themselves as sort of like an intimate thing but I think it probably happened. I've done it for friends. I've done it for friends.

Yeah, I don't like doing it for anyone. What, even Lisa? I'd say Lisa's probably the most, well, obviously the kids I put some criminal all the time, but... How, Grace hates her, unless you're going on. Yeah, the boys hate it. We have to get those little, we'll try and make it fun with the sprats. God, it sounds so pathetic. But you have to kind of deal with their aversion to it. They're not fans, particularly Charlie.

He's not into it. Yeah, to the point where I'd say he rebels against it. We have to really force him to get the sun cream. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, he's, bro. Anyway, I don't really like putting it get the sun cream. Oh, geez. Yeah, he's brutal. Anyway, I don't really like putting it on. There's something about, I don't know, I just don't like it. Yeah, but I think if you get a back roller thing, I think, I mean, some would probably listen to this, I reckon they'd come up with that, but like you didn't get it with a little extended thing.

So, yeah, if you've got a longer back. Oh, that's a great idea. I think the only problem is you wouldn't, okay, let's just actually workshop this. Most of the time you're putting sun cream on at a beach, right? Yeah. Okay. I'm a pool guy, but yeah, yeah. Okay, and a lot of people are, Tom,

and there's nothing wrong with that, but a lot of people go to the beach. Yeah. You get that roller, you get some sun cream on it, where do you put it? I think it comes in, it could be classy, like it come with packaging that you put it back into like a little sheath Yeah, like a sheath or just like a like a plastic like you like a little yeah like a plastic sort of ziploc bag right to avoid

Getting sand on it and stuff like that because that would be my big issue once you get sand on that it's game over But then also as dragon's den says you don't you want this to be a thing that people multiply buy. Yeah that's what I'm saying. But then you've got to wash it like you do with a paint brush otherwise the salt and lotion just gets all stuck into it it becomes very sort of yeah yeah unmanable. What? Unmanable. Unmanable? You can't use it is it unmanable? Unus is that a little ways I'm gonna do you mean malleable? valuable yeah, I'm Just watching Tom Google this That comes up as invaluable

You put in unvaluable It comes up as invaluable. Yeah. This is closest thing. It's not even great. What I've text basically has in the first four letters, it has three in common.

So it's clearly not a word. Yeah. It's basically- Yeah, I think that's a good idea. So what, you got to make it, huh? Yeah, I think we should. If anyone's out there who helps with developing these things. Yeah.

I sometimes, there's been points in this episode where you're on holiday and I'm slightly jet lagged. And there's been points in this episode where I thought to myself, if I heard two people having this conversation near me on a train, I'd stop listening. Let life... I literally look across the garden.

Yeah, but I think you're jet lagged in time. I'm going to get some headphones on. Have you got a day of sleep in the head today? No, I'm actually going to meet Epo for lunch. Epo is the, well, you've got no wow, you don't know who it is, do you? EPO is the guy that showed me around Rwanda. Rwanda.

On Misadventures, he's in the UK, so I'm gonna go meet him for lunch. And then I'm just chill, chill boy, chill. Got two days off. That's a nice thing to do. Oh, two days of chilling, baby. Well, I need to recover. I don't feel good.

Yeah. Just get out of sleepin'.. Well, I need to recover. I don't feel good. Just get out of sleep. Yeah, I'm going to try to. I also going to try and do a bit of cooking, I think. Oh, wow. You know, I don't often get the chance to. I'd say chill a bit. Have a day's chill and then have a day where you cook a meal.

I would say, don't like when the boys going from school, you cook 20 different things for them, like buns and stuff and breads. I'm not going to do like buns and bread, but I might do a bit, I might see what I've got. See if I've still got it, you know? Get in there. Oh, gosh. Maybe whip up a lasagna or something.

What, veggie mess up with me? What are you putting your head in your hands for like that? That's the way you say it, like you're sort of like this old, like you're sort of like character in The Bear who's dropped off and then you try to sort of like come back. Have you watched season three of The Bear? No, I've not got into it yet. Right, so there's a big backlash. I've not watched it yet. Oh really?

Yeah, but there's a big backlash. People saying it's shit. Oh really? Yeah. I love the first two series. Yeah, but apparently series three's not good. That's why never make a series three of anything. Yeah, I mean thankfully the commissioners have taken care of that for me, but yeah, I agree.

How come we did a third series of that sitcom? Oh, it's because we just felt the story was told. You know, and it was so- The bear, the bear. We're following the office model, do you know what I mean? Just like two and done. Forty Towers, Porridge. Yeah, yeah, all of those, all of those classics.

In America, they seem to make it work, but I don't know why, I can't see how the bear's got such a, For his house. Yeah. Yeah, all of those all of those classics in America They seem to make it work, but I don't know why I can't see how the bears got such a great. So brilliant I can't see how that could not be. Well, there's a phenomenon actually Tom while we're talking about this of issues with Bingeable television. Are you aware of this? So bingeable television like lots and Encouraging people to sit down and really get involved in something So, bingeable television, like lots of encouraging people to sit down and really get involved in something, apparently requires storylines that are so complicated

and sort of in depth that they're taking too long to make. For example, Stranger Things, there's what, two years between each season? Yeah. Bridgerton, I think two years between the seasons. Not that I watched Bridgerton, but... And now they're saying it's becoming a problem. That like, it's too long.

I mean, the Stranger Things kids, I mean, they're like, what, they're late 30s, early 40s now. Same age, yeah, same age. Last year, yeah. Yeah, and you know, when that show started, they were kids, weren't they? They were at high school. Well, that's how long it's taken them to write Stranger Things. And they're all on a retainer, aren't they,

all the time sitting around it as well? Well, they used to wear retainers, but they're too old for them. They're headed for, um, Michael, that was such a dad joke. Literally, that is, I was gonna say, if anything sums this episode up, it's that joke at the end. Oh, God.

Whenever I do a wordplay joke, I always feel, or anything like that, I always feel sick after. You know what, though, when you watch someone like Tim Vine. Not that I think there's anything. No, because you watch someone like Tim Vine do it, I watch him at the store, that's when I go, it's absolutely fucking compelling. It was incredible to see.

What were you doing in Tesco's with him? You know, that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then, immediately was absolutely fucking compelling. It was incredible to see. What were you doing in test guys with him? You know, that sort of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then immediately I hate myself. You haven't got that vibe to you. You're not like a ganabout. No. You're not like a ganabout comic.

Yeah. You're not like Wacky. I'll talk a little about Wacky just quickly. While we've been out here, Gracious got obsessed with a new show called The Bounce Patrol. Right. It is arguably the worst thing I've ever watched.

That's unusual for you because you know what you like, enjoy watching what Grace watches. You're always going on about Bluey. I love Bluey. I think Bluey is the credit to kids TV and TV in general. The Bounce Patrol is awful. It's basically five people, I think they're Australian, they look like they're late 20s to mid 30s. And they essentially just leap about, they rework things like Baby Shark and Old MacDonald to make it sort of like more wacky and more loud. And they sort of leap about gurney. There's one guy in it that when you sit and watch it, there's one guy like, they're all a bit wacky. They're a bit I can't imagine what they'd be like to spend any sort of time with us people.

But there's one guy in it who, the gurn on his face when he's performing is so annoying. It's, I'm gonna have to just try and find him just to show you here. Tom, I hope you don't mind me saying, I have got no fucking idea what this show is based on your description. You've got these five guys and one of them gurns.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a kids show. What's the premise? They'll take a song, like Baby Shark, they'll do a reworking of it, right? And then they'll sort of dance around. And that's the show? Or on McDonald's.

It's not really a show, it's a YouTube channel. She's into YouTube at the moment. Okay. So look, this is what I'm talking about I can see what's happening. That's all you need. As this goes on, she watched this for an hour yesterday. And every time I turned it off, she lost so much she got sucked. JT, could you play in a little bit of Bounce Patrol please? Because Tom Singh's not coming. I mean it might be his end but I can't hear him. Yeah, could you play in a little bit of Bounce Patrol, please, because Tom's thing's not coming.

I mean, it might be his end, but I can't hear it. Yeah, if you play in a bit of Bounce Patrol. Play in a bit of Bounce Patrol, and based how this hour's gone, that'll be the highlight of the episode. Actually, JT, can you play in an hour of Bounce Patrol? Yeah, I genuinely actually think that would be better than this episode. Romsky, god, it's been a fun ride. Yeah, it's been a real fun ride. All right, Tom. I think your jet better than this episode. Oh, Romsky, it's been a fun ride.

Yeah, it's been a real fun ride. All right, Tom. I think your jet lag's getting, do you want to, all right, let me just end this up. No, but my brain's not giving me what I need. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I know, there's a woman somewhere in Brighton who's just still crying into a towel.

I feel like that interaction has debanted me somehow. Like I've got the yips. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? You've got the yips. I think I've got the yips. Do you know what I mean? You've got the yips. I think I've got the yips. Yeah, the yips are again my right. I've got the banter yips. Yeah, anyway, good luck.

Right, okay, here we go. Oh no, first time I'm going in dry. Blue skies, grey dawns. Oh, shrieks. Can I just stop you a second? Can I just stop you a second? First time you're going in dry? No, the first time I literally sat here and Can I just stop you a second? Yeah. First time you're going in dry?

No, the first time I literally sat here and thought I've got nothing. You've got nothing? Okay, all right, all right, go for it. You've got this. The sun shines, the hawk crows, the owl sighs, but the wolf knows. Far away in some distant town, a little lad strolls alone, wondering what his point is in the world. He has shoes upon his feet and jeans upon his legs and bum.

He has a jumper that keeps away the cold wind that seems to come from nowhere, even though the weather is relatively clement. As he strolls through this town, he comes across a woman selling grapefruits. He said these look delicious. She's like have you ever tried a grapefruit before they're awfully bitter and he's like oh I don't know let me try it. He takes a bite of the subtle grapefruit. It's too bitter for his taste and he's like maybe I should have had a melon instead. She's like I don't sell melons it's not their season. He says, what are seasons? I'm an old sir, he's a time traveller. As he keeps walking through the street, he comes across different people all selling different things. He realised that his clothes

are out of the time period in which he walks that the people he's around don't talk in the same fashion, or neigh in the same tongue. He starts to worry that he doesn't fit in. Anyway, he spends a little bit more time there. He changes his jeans for a old sort of pair of leggings that men used to wear in the olden days, and a schmock. And he himself starts selling potatoes along the roadside.

Potatoes, potatoes, does anyone want some potatoes? Slowly but surely his way of talking, the dialects he once used, you becomes ye and the becomes the or the becomes the or the opposite way round and he acclimatizes to this whole new world. Anyway, years pass and although he has some awful dialances with scarlet fever and other stuff he's still around selling potatoes and a gentleman walks up to him wearing a Nike dry fit tracksuit and he's like Martin, is that you Martin? And he says, ye, you come here from modern times thou. My name is not Martin, it's Ishaan, the brave. And he says, no, you're Martin, Martin Collis from 2024.

The man denies this because he's forgotten who he is. And I guess that's the thing in life, where we travel to different places and be around different people, we try to climatise and become a new version of ourselves. We just try and fit in as simple as we can and sometimes in doing that we forget who we actually are. That's the thing about life, to climatise, meet people, change a little bit but not so much you forget the real you Arguably this is the worst summer I've ever done So late to deliver the news that he was a time traveler in that story I'm traveling that story. Yeah, it's almost like I was making it up

until I was going along. That's really great. I had the wonderful experience, Tom, this week, of discovering a new band that I'd heard of, but didn't realize that I'd love as much. And that band is called The Hives. Oh, I love The Hives. Yeah, well, I didn't really know The Hives.

And then since in the last week, I've spent most of my time listening to the Hives. Yeah, well I didn't really know the Hives. And then since the last week I've spent most of my time listening to the Hives. What a band. Welcome to the big leagues. Yeah, and then if you've watched any interviews they're just really funny. I love them. So let's play one of their songs. JT, could you play Countdown to Shut Down by the Hives? I love this song.

Great feeling discovering a new band. Guys, listen, when they close the door on the vault of the episodes of The Wolf and Al, I imagine they'll have a look at this one and they'll say, I don't think this needs to go in. Thank you so much for listening. Big love, people. Take care of yourselves.

Love you. Bye. Big love. I love that, love people. Take care of yourselves. Love you. Bye. Big love. I love you. Love you. And we shut down Into the promised land The father know the man Ain't never gonna quit

Look out baby this is it Shut down If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.