Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 5: Bonus Film Pitch Special

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

It’s Friday bonus time and the first of our Wolf & Owl film pitch specials. We put the call out - you sent in your pitches - and now it’s time to start reading through the scripts. Three this week and there’s some right blockbusters to kick things off. Hollywood here we come! Thanks for all your messages - keep them coming at [e-mail] Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's better than getting a small premium roast coffee and your favorite McMuffin? Getting a small premium roast coffee and your favorite McMuffin for only $4 plus tax. For a limited time, only at McDonald's. Exclude Egg BLT McMuffin at participating McDonald's in Canada prices exclude delivery. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built-in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2.

See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294. Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Yo. Yo, what you want?

Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves. Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows

Fuck the censorship, let em see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear is a huff, a puff and a Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it, the death bringing, it's head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Welcome! Yo, yo! Welcome to the...

My internet's still fucked My internet's still fucked I hope you can listen to the pod, my internet's still fucked It's insane how yeah anyway I think what we should because we've just done an episode talking about your internet so let's talk about

let's yeah let's talk about traitors I mean that's weird because it's Friday now and we yeah so we shouldn't talk about traitors

because we yeah we've got no idea what's just happened for three days we're recording this on a Tuesday that was maybe the worst suggestion of my life. Do you know what? I've been sitting here wondering,

like, you know, because when will Tom grab this by the scruff of the neck and drive the narrative of this episode? And you've just given it an attempt. Yeah, but it was the worst attempt ever. That's essentially like, I'm basically, I'm like the guy who's just ploughed the fucking Titanic into the ice.

You've asked me to, you're basically the captain and you're in a bit of disarray. You've asked me to go out the front and make sure there's no icebergs. And I've just gone out and said, no, we're all right, mate, keep going.

Yeah. And not only that is, we've just recorded the other episode. And I said at the end of that episode, which was, you know, in our time, five minutes ago.

Yeah. I've said, we're going to do a film trailer special yeah then i've just mentioned the internet's fucked just like just as to get people in there and then you've gone we shouldn't talk about that because we're doing the last episode let's talk about traitors you know what we're talking about on this we discussed it minutes ago right okay so we're doing a film film the film ideas okay. Shout out to Sweet Lise, sweet Lise,

aka The Swan. So a few weeks ago, we asked for film ideas. Yeah. Right. So, and The Swan has very kindly sifted out some of the film ideas

for us to have a look at. So this first one is from the orangutan teacher. Wow. Dear Swan at Wolf Owl and the whole extended menagerie hope you'll had a wonderful winter holiday and spread some love and joy with the sweet sweet souls closest to you we did thank you i'm an english teacher in japan and today i happen to have an empty class while the students did some tests so i thought i would give the movie trailer pitch a go wow i thought about genuinely i'm so fucking excited okay I thought about recording

it as an audio piece but I don't think I could do the voices justice if by chance and at the swan's wise benevolence this gets read out I would love to hear

oh no I would love to hear Tom do Rom's part and vice versa though them taking a crack at their own parts would be fun too this is slightly difficult

because you're not seeing the email in front of you yeah um okay oh have they have they written it have they written it as a like script their own parts would be fun too. This is slightly difficult because you're not seeing the email in front of you. Okay. Have they written it? Have they written it as a script?

Let's just have a look. Let me know what you think, the orangutan teacher. I had way more fun than I thought I would write. This is all written in good fun from a long-term fan of the podcast. Oh my God. Shall I just read it to you? Or do you want to email it if it's a script

and we can read it out? Okay, let me just send you the link. Oh, this is exciting. Genius might be my favourite thing. It's quite fun reading it blind. Okay, tell me if that works. I've just sent you the link. Okay.

All right, it's here, it's here. Wow, your email. Wow, fucking hell, this is amazing. Celtics. Can I just say, by the way? This is more professional than... Hold on, this won't... Celtics. I know. Can I just say, by the way? I'll say this is more professional than... Hold on, this won't... What's your login to this?

I didn't have to log in. Oh, this is login to Celtics. Hold on, hold on. Let me just give you the actual normal link. Hold on, this should work. Try that. This is so fucking... This feels like espionage.

Celtics. You got it? Yeah, it yeah it's coming over oh page not found for fuck's sake but the story doesn't end here page not found what is this god let me send it to you again what's going on this is what was quite an exciting fucking link oh no this is really absolutely fucking, this is absolute classic for us by the way. I mean, if we, if we do. try that.

If that, if that doesn't work, I don't know what to say to you. You're just going to read it out. Yeah, yeah, okay. It might just be my,

that's just, well, you might just read this out. It's not going through yet. Have you got it? No. No. I think you're going to have to read it out.

Okay. Go for it. Okay, here we go. So this is narrator. This summer, I can't do this. This summer, prepare for mayhem as Ramesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis star in The Wolf and Owl.

Oh, I've got it here. I've got it here. It's just come back. Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay, you can do that much better than me. Go on. Can you do that again from the top?

The summer, prepare for Mayhem as Ramesh Ranganathan and Tom Davis star in The Wolf and Owl. Okay, carry on. No, right, it's the next bit as well. Romesh was feeling the burn of climbing the corporate ladder. Do you want me to be Lee? Okay, so this is Swan there.

And I'll do it. Yeah, yeah, you be Lisa. I'll be you. No, I'm you, so you can be Lisa. Okay. Romy, you can't be serious. Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

It's just a quick call. But it's my mother's birthday and she'll be here any... Oh, hello. Hey, Pete. Give me the good news. Am I interviewing tomorrow? Rom? Oh, one sec, Pete. Yeah, sorry. Happy birthday. You don't look a day over 60. Yeah, sorry. Happy birthday. You don't look a day over 60. Rom, that's my sister. Shit, Pete. I'll call you back. No, wait. Don't go. But Tom was feeling the burn of a different kind. And I says to him, yeah, what about a wax for that face, mate?

Now watch me bang this in for a birdie and let's get some pints on the boss's tab. But things were destined to change. I can't mess this up. I can't mess this up. Ten years, the overtime, perfect attendance. How'd you get this? The shwantishers, better life

than I've always fucking things up. After this big break, I'll take you away. Some paradise somewhere. It's the least I could do for a putting up with my shit. Oh, fuck, it's time. Rubbish. Thanks for coming. Thanks for having me. Let me just say I'm very

honoured to have... Wait. What is Tom doing here? All right, mate. Keep the volume down, will you? That's killing me. Ah, yes. Well, Tom will be taking the promotion. I'm putting you as his personal assistant. What the fuck?

Really? How far will a man go to get the job of his dreams? If I could just shag your bush what a fuckhead he is, then he's bound to give me the promotion to be instead. One business trip could change both of their lives forever. Shit, Ramesh, I'm a bit nervous about this trip, mate. I've never been to Nepal. Do they do proper breakfast there?

Oh, don't you worry, mate. You just have a nice, relaxing flight. Here, why not have this fishy water? Oh, yeah, fuck yeah. Oh, that's a fucking ticket. It's quenched me old throat nodules. Oh, I'm coming up, mate. Something weird's happening.

Me nuts are tingling. And me nuts tingling. Oh, fucking hell. I'm having an absolute mental one here. Look at him go. That job's as good as mine. Wait, calm down, Tom. No, no.

That's the pilot's room. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Now they're going to learn that there's more to life than money and success. Great, we're stranded. Just bloody fantastic. Uh, mate, you might want to turn around. There's a tiger behind me, isn't there? Run!

This is horrible. Just horrible. I'm going to die out here stuck with you. I mean, just quickly. I mean, this is really great, but it does feel like this is the whole film. This goes on for another four pages. Anyway,

look, we'll read the rest of it, but what do you think, Tom? I love it. I mean, actually really, I mean, yeah,

look, I mean, we could do the rest of the film, but I mean, it does feel like other people's pitches. I mean, it's incredible. I'd say as a trailer,

it could do with a little bit of a tighten up, just to sort of, but yeah, the idea is great. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great idea. Thank you so much but yeah, the idea is great. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great idea. Yeah.

Thank you so much for that. That's really good. What we'll do, what we'll do with the best of these, we could cut it down into a proper trailer and get JT to edit it all nice. but yeah, that's great. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. I rang a tan teacher. Order up for Damien. Hey, how did your doctor's appointment go, by the way? Did you ask about Rebelsis? Actually, I'm seeing my doctor later today.

Did you say Rebelsis? My dad's been talking about Rebelsis. Rebelsis? Really? Yeah, he says it's a pill that... Well, I'll definitely be asking my doctor if Rebelsis is right for me. Rebelsis. Ask your doctor or visit Rebelsis.ca. Order up for Rebelsis.

Today. Something is coming. Kong. Godzilla. They can feel it. Fight together. It's human up. Or face extinction.

Godzilla Kong. The New Empire. Now playing only in theaters. See yourself buying a home one day? Do future you a favor? Open a Questrade first home savings account and help that future come faster. The FHSA is a tax-free account where all your investment gains are yours to keep and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed.

It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow. Open an account today at questrade.com. Okay, this next one is from the screenplay Blue Jay. Okay. Dear Wolf, Owl and the Lovely Swan, I've attached some film ideas for the highly anticipated Wolf and Owl feature.

They're a bit rough, but I hope they give you a little chuckle. This is a lead vehicle for each of you and a co-headline idea. Okay. I would love a look at the co-headline idea. I was going to send these as trailers, but just couldn't be arsed in the end,

so perhaps the Wolf could use his movie trailer voice and knock one out. Probably would do both, I would love to look at the co-headline idea. I was going to send these as trailers, but just couldn't be asked in the end, so perhaps the wolf could use his movie trailer voice and knock one out. Probably would do both, I imagine. The film's entitled Straight Outta Brompton, Andrew the Giant, Double Top. I appreciate Double Top sounds like a bluey, so we just call that a working title. Thanks for the many laughs your podcast has given me.

I appreciate the time you both take to make that happen for us, listeners, each week. So hold on, let's have a look. Which one's double top double top is a tom vehicle straight out of brompton is a rom vehicle right uh oh i don't know we've got i think we've got two tom vehicles there hi what's the dual oh no here we go here's the dual so the dual one is

double top alright okay so summary this by the way there's a lot to this there's too much to read out so um

I'll just try and scan for it oh actually this is not bad okay summary in the competitive world of professional

darts brash and cocky champion Scott Too Hot Barstow has it all reality star wife a new build mansion in Essex,

and the world at his fingertips. Until he faces off against a rising star, Alan Nadar, an aloof and meticulous newcomer known for his YouTube channel. As the battle for the bullseye intensifies, both on and off the... This is fucking great, by the way, straight away.

It sounds amazing, yeah. As the battle for the bullseye intensifies, both on and off the dartboard, these rivals are about to redefine the game and discover intensifies both on and off the dartboard these rivals are about to redefine the game and discover what it truly

means to be a darting legend meet Scott Too Hot Barstow Tom Davis a darts champion the reality star

wife living the life in Essex his laid back approach to the sport involves throwing wild trick shots and practising

at the local pub while enjoying a pint and a fan basically he's a bit of a cool edgelord I like this part

yeah Scott's dominance in the darts scene is threatened by the arrival of Neil the Real Deal Nadar, Romesh Ranganathan. Social media sensation, no for his incredible long-range bullseye shots. I like Scott's casual lifestyle.

Alan Nadar is a disciplined athlete who trains at a specialised gym, maintaining strict... This is like Rocky IV. Right, yeah. Maintaining strict preparation routines and focusing on optimal nutrition. Alan's unique advantage stems from his unusually strong vision and his aiming eye, giving him an edge over other players.

The clash between Scott's swagger and Alan's precision sets the stage for a fierce rivalry in the world of professional darts. Double Top is a comedic journey that transcends the boundaries of the professional darts world, revealing the highs, lows and unexpected twists that come with the pursuit of darting glory. Will Scott's brash approach maintain its grip on the championship or will Alan's meticulous preparation

and unrivaled aim dethrone the reigning champion? Get ready for a bullseye battle that will have you on the edge of your seat. Wow. That is... That is... Yeah's that's actually a really fucking cool idea really cool that's great got tallahago knights kind of kingpin vibes yeah yeah um screenplay blue jay exceptional work uh we're gonna look at the other two ideas and tom will probably get the the one that features him away. I think Double Top could go.

I mean, I think... I think Double Top really could go. Double Top really just now could sit in a... Yeah, that's it. Instead of sitting in the polls saying this could be it, we could have got a winner here. Okay. Have we got time for one more?

Yeah, I think we have. We've got one more. Yeah, one more in this. Okay. This is from Steve in this. Okay. This is from Steve. Yeah. Okay. Romesh plays Simon,

a well-meaning and ambitious local politician. After years of frustration at not being selected as local party's candidate due to what he sees as a dubious selection going on, he's ready to give up his hopes of doing good for everyday people from within the grand political arena and go full-time pharmacist assistant.

Fucking hell. But then he hits upon an idea that catapults him. I could just listen to the characters that people paint you as. But then he hits upon an idea that catapults him to the limelight

and political success. Along with a young local reporter who's willing to help him relay his short-term vision, he sets up a surefire way of getting the locals attention am I the young reporter the cool young reporter

he doesn't say actually he makes a short video which with the help of the young reporter you can't be the young reporter there's a lot of attraction and attention Tom plays Rhys a plasterer living in a cul-de-sac who bears witness to the chaos

I genuinely thought I was going to be playing the fucking cool edgy young reporter Tom plays Rhys, a plasterer living in a cul-de-sac who bears witness to the chaos... Oh, for fuck's sake. I genuinely thought that I was going to be playing the fucking cool, edgy young reporter. ...who bears witness to the chaos amongst his neighbours as it unfolds in front of his eyes. Some opt out of bin collectors and often leave their rubbish out in the streets as they're too busy to dispose of it.

The neighbourhood gets more and more trash and arguments become the norm. Rhys is the voice of quiet reason that slowly dissipates under the turmoil. He has a moment of desperation when he realises he nearly came to blows with the recently laid off bin person. Simon brings other local services under the banner. So basically what my character does is gives everyone a choice. I'm going to give you the choice. You have the right to choose how to

spend your money. As your local MP councillor, it's it to have more choice, more options, and people start to choose different options. So meanwhile, Simon is drawing up a scheme where UK citizens can opt out of a certain level of healthcare in order to get a tax rebate. It becomes known as the Emergency Only Healthcare Option Bill. He managed to sell it to a lapping-up public and press on two points. It relieves pressure on the NHS and gives more choice and income to UK citizens who opt for it.

Five grand upfront payments to parents for homeschooling, and so on, till society collapses. Simon tries to work out how he could wheedle in his original political intentions while responders will never have enough time to watch telly again

after homeschooling bin runs and a minor limb be opted to have seen by a healthcare professional come 2031. There you go, that's the film I did. It's like a political thriller

that one, isn't it? It is, yeah, very much. A bit highbrow for us, I'd say. Yeah, I sort of, if I'm honest with you, I was just hoping it'd be sort of like, you'd be this politician, I'd be the court edgy reporter, and we'd go on a sort of like bit of a mad journey.

But actually, to be fair, he's done a lot of thinking. He's actually done more thinking about that than I probably did for any of the King Gary series. Yeah. There's a lot of, yeah, political intent there. I don't think that's the reveal that you thought it was. These are exciting, though. These are very exciting.

I think we might make this a regular feature. And what I would suggest is, I think we need to look at these in advance and then, like, really give a proper presentation of them. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm here for the first time. But these are really good.

Steve, you smashed it, man. Thank you so much. Well done, Steve. Great are really good Steve you smashed it man thank you so much well done Steve great thought well you know what it shows you right that there's that there is some

amazing people out there with creative minds that aren't in our industry what I'm slightly nervous about is what if we decide to do one of these and we'll have to work out a place

I'm on the front out there Double Top is well in could well like I think I think Double Top, I think this political one

with a bit of work could be a good entry. But Double Top feels ready to go. And I have to say as well, the first one, the Wolf and Owl, there was an air to that that me and you

on a desert island together after a plane crash. I will say that out of all of them, I don't know if we'd have to budget to make one with a big plane crash and hire a desert island that feels like

our fourth or fifth movie yeah I think so we'd have to do some sort of animation for that or something yeah

but listen guys thank you so much for listening we will see you next time much love from potential movie stars

The Wolf well The Wolf and well The Wolf's already a movie star but yeah Aspen movie star they are well yeah

movie producers big hitters big waxers alright cool big love peace out bye if you have a problem opinion

feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfowlpod at gmail.com. That's wolfowlpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.