Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 57: Dogs And Cats & Hotel Room Numbers

Episode Date: October 23, 2024

With Rom now on the Dubai leg of his stand-up tour, Tom’s keen to hear all about the place and find out how everything's been going since they last spoke. So we’re talking…. Rom’s family coming out to meet him, being more ‘braggy, a visit to the Sidney Dogs and Cats Home, misguided slams and eating humble pie, the lifestyle of an international DJ, new ideas for hotel room numbering, iPad restaurant ordering, having low expectations and kids doing impressions of parents. Then we answer a few email questions, this time about some advice on a stand-up routine and the Skibidi youth-speak translator app. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred They'll grant you all ass requests to steady your nerves Then podcast a body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff and puff and a...

Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Well, hello there and welcome to another episode of the wolf and owl delighted To be here. Yeah, it was due to start in an hour's time Tom Davis then well, I've offered an hour earlier because

Tom was He's got a busy evening. He's going off to do a gig. And also I want to get fits. I want to get fits before then. The response was no, let's do six. Then at 10 to five he said actually can we do five? Yeah, but you're chilling out in Dubai with your big old trotters up, mate. Well, it's not trotters up. I've been away from my family for three weeks, Tom, and I'm now trying to spend some time with them. I've rearranged my...

But you've been away from me for bloody five weeks, darling. Four weeks. Okay. But yeah, you know what I'm saying. Three plus one. Quick maths, innit? Then Tom said, can we do five? I said yeah absolutely. And then logs on at what? Almost 10 past so. It's a real double, triple, kick to the bollocks

to start this podcast off. What time is it out there my sweet dad? It is 10 past eight. AM? No, PM. Oh, PM. Three hours ahead here. Oh wow, that's pretty bad. in Dubai. Well, it's dinner time, isn't it? So, yeah. Yeah. No, but you're not having an early dinner with the kids. I suppose you're

all being out there. Well, I've had to have an eye because you've asked me to. Look, look, look. Listen to me. You did not wolf your dinner down in 10 minutes. I know you too well. I have seen you wolf down at dinners. No, we can't, genuinely, to accommodate this, we cancelled our dinner reservation. What are you doing now? Room service? Yeah, boy. It's all done now, though, actually. All done. How is Dubai, by the way? I've never been... Is it how you find it? It is sort of like whatever you'd expect.

Whatever you'd expect it to be is what it is. Do you know what I mean? Like they do everything big. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And you know. Is this your first time there? No, I came here a few years ago.

It's the first time doing a gig out here. I came out here a while ago. It's like, it's like I've got friends that fly for Emirates that sort of rave about it. And it's nice. But are you worried that someone could be into that hecking your mainframe? So you're worried about what you say? No, no, no, no, I'm not worried about what I say. No, I'm not worried. It's just like, what I mean is, I'm trying to think of the best way to describe it. It's like everything is designed to give you a good time.

Do you know what I mean? So like everything, but what you don't get is like, you know, if you go somewhere a little bit off the beaten track or whatever, it's a little bit rough around the edges and you sort of, it's a bit more of a, just see what happens. And some, you know, some people, you come to Dubai, you get in exactly what you paid for. Do you know what I mean? Some people like it, some people don't. So I guess that's what I mean. But it's nice. It's good.

What's weird is because obviously you've been traveling and we've been doing these podcasts with you traveling and me just sort of logging in with you. I feel a little bit like Sam from Kwanlai Lake. Not Sam, what's his friend called? Al. Why did I say Ziggy? Ziggy was ours, Ziggy was the one in the, actually no, probably more like Ziggy, I'm not even Al. Like Lisa's Al, I'm Ziggy, I'm back in the mainframe. Yeah, what was, well I got to Dubai, so it's a bit of a weird thing right where Lisa came from the UK Yeah, and I flew from Australia. We met here. Yes, the old Navarra still going strong if you had that redone Yeah Have you got pink every your pink and black? No, that's just my natural. That's my natural

Is it am I the other ones particularly pink let me see yours i think no i think because yeah because yours yeah because those two are black so that's reinforced in the pink that's the contrast yeah okay i like it that's cool anyway the uh so i k i met lisa having not seen her for three weeks i would say the biggest kiss you've ever done the novelty well it's a big hug i wouldn't't say there wasn't much kiss, when the kids were here, weren't they? Yeah, I didn't expect you to be full on French kissing in the middle of the air. What I'm saying is, I met her at the hotel, but what I would say is that... Was she in the room or did you meet her in the lobby?

No, she didn't come. Well I got here at five in the morning, so I didn't expect to come down to the lobby. When we got to the hotel, they didn't have a record of me turning up late. They got there the night before. And so the guy sort of insisted on escorting me to the room to make sure that I wasn't so sort of. That's a passion killer, isn't it? Well, it was a little bit. Anyway, he seemed regretted it when I started tongue kissing her right in front of me in the doorway.

Boy, you've probably enjoyed it. Anyway, I would say the novelty of me arriving and sort of Lisa not having seen me for three weeks wore off pretty quickly. Can I just say, for context as well, I am wavy as fuck, by the way. Can I just add to that? Well, you're like King Wavy. Can I just say, by the way, how quickly, into seeing Lisa for the first time in three weeks, okay, nearly a month, did you start grumbling and moaning about stuff?

Like, oh, my panties are all stuck up my ass from the flight and all that sort of stuff. I did, I did, it wasn't moaning about like, I wasn't moaning about anything she'd done or anything the kids done, but I was just sort of very like, I'm sort of very nervous about it, because look, for full context, they're literally, they're literally-

You look like you're in a cupboard, Rikku. I'm sort of in the corner, I'm in the corner of our room, but they're just like, they're just next door, so it's like, you know. And yeah, and they do well to respect me. No, the truth is I did start sort of moaning about the time difference in our knackered, I was feeling. And I could see, you know, Lisa's face went

from being quite sort of happy to see her husband. And then I think within, I don't know, I'm guessing seven to eight minutes, the reality of the situation, She was sort of reminded of her while she was married to, do you know what I mean? And that sort of. Yeah, because the thing is, when you're away in Caffey, I'm sure I've had this,

and in the three weeks, all of a sudden, you become almost like a sort of like, you know, this jet-setting cool guy who's sort of in Australia, and all of a sudden she sees you, and you're sort of, yeah, coming in, you know? I was so fucking exhausted. Yeah. Anyway, how are you?

No, not too bad. You know me man. I grumble on my life is that I feel like at the moment, because your life is so fucking jet setter and cool. Mine does feel quite mundane. It's not jet setter and cool. There does feel quite mundane. There's something about traveling that immediately adds sexiness. But the truth is I'm just doing tour shows. Yeah, but if we were both to go into a CAF, right? Exactly the same time and someone said what do you do last? This weekend I'd go, um my wife went away on a you know girls weekend I was looking after my little girls we did some potty training and

took us to be some ducks at a pond and yeah which I love every second because I adore my daughter but you then come walking in and go what did I do this weekend I know I smashed out a park a kind of sold out shows in Australia and I flew out of Dubai you know what I mean it's like fucking called a rit out of Dubai. You know what I mean? It's like fucking called a ritzy as fuck. Do you know what I mean? Yeah I don't know if I'd say it Dubai like that but yes I'll take your point. Can I tell you something really cool that I did? Go on. This is actually, I think you're going to be impressed with this. It requires me reading out an email. Okay just go and brag into it. Well yeah. No you should break. I think you should be more braggy

Okay Here's here's the email. All right. This is from Sam okay. Yeah Hello, Ron Tom Catons one good day from down under first off. I've got to say I absolutely adore you both I've been listening from the star while you to absolutely crack me up, you've also genuinely helped me through some tough times. There's something magical about how you blend the absurd with the real. I know which one's bringing you to those.

Somehow making it all so relatable. I've often thought about emailing in to share a story, but this is my first time doing it. Instead of sharing one of my wild tales, I'm jumping on Tom's shout out bandwagon to offer some big love to the Max for the Sydney Dogs and Cats Home. Knowing Romsey in Australia. Oh, as well as here in Australia and having just bought tickets to your show,

I figured this was the perfect moment to get in touch. The Sydney Dogs and Cats Home is raising funds for a new purpose-built facility, which will allow us to rescue and rehome thousands of cats, dogs and pets across the city. I know Tom loves to root for the underdogs and with Rom's plant-based persuasion, I'm hoping a quick mention should turn into a lifetime of change for our rescued animals. With love from all the fluffy and furry crew. So then I replied, hi there, it's Romesh, is it possible to visit?

Wow. And Sam replied and said, yes it is. And so I went and spent the morning, me and Gratz went to the Sydney cats and dogs home. Sydney dogs and cats home? Sydney dogs and cats home. Did you make a nice donation? Oh, did I make a nice donation?

Oh, my God. This is my time donation enough. Listen, if they're let me tell you something, if the dogs could fucking talk, they wouldn't need any funding. That's enough. That's enough. So you didn't... No, I did buy some merch on the proud owner of a Sydney Dogs and Cats hoodie. No, I bought one for myself and one for Graz.

Oh, nice. And also, you are spreading the word. I saw you did it on your story, so I knew that you'd be, you know, you'd cover it up. It's kind of cute as well, like you coverling up to dogs and cats and sort of, yeah. It's quite a nice thing. I think things like that. I got a bit nervous actually, because they had like a social media person there. Who was like, just documenting the day. And then at one point, I was sort of stroking a dog and I thought,

this is going to go on and people are going to tell me that I'm mishandling this dog. You know when you get paranoid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, it was lovely. But you've got dogs anyway, so you're not going to go on and people are going to tell me that I'm mishandling this dog. You know when you get paranoid? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got dogs anyway so you're not going to miss it. I know but you know for all we know I've been striking the dogs wrong. What I love is by the way at the end of it is and I'll thank you this has been an absolutely exceptional experience to see how the other dogs and cats live out they all find homes or themselves. No you're right you're right that saying something like that would make me a real

**** you're right. Listen to the story and then the woman turns around and goes our rural machine rats it's great you've had you here like it meant so much I could see the little that faces on the dogs and cats but obviously what we run here is you know we run off donations and we run off like funding because we don't get any off the government here so any funding any donations goes a long long way you know what I mean yeah I know exactly what I mean how much are those hoodies? oh those hoodies are like 1850 bucks each. I tell you what, give me a grant for one of those each and I'll spread the word if you know what I mean. What do you mean? It's like I'll be on social media wearing it and such like.

So what have, I don't understand how this is a slam. I'm just saying you should have made a big donation that's what they wanted from you I guess. Oh do you reckon? Yeah of course you're like one of the biggest comedians in the world now. You're literally you're over a million followers on fucking Instagram TikTok you're absolutely fucking raging you're a big fucking hitter not Not getting you there so you can buy two hoodies. No, you're right. You're right.

I'm a real prick for spending my doughnuts. No, no, you're not a prick. You're an amazing guy for going. No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't throw it in at the end. Don't throw it in. Your instinctive reaction was, did you make a big donation?

No, and then you went into you did this little bit. So don't start pretending that you actually respect what I did, okay? No, I respect you for going down there. I don't respect you. I think they expected some money out of you though. And I can tell by your face, because I know you for those things like that.

They got 150 Australian dollars out of me. Is that what I'm selling hoodies for? Well, it's not just, they're doing it as like a charity thing. Oh, okay, I will take it back. Okay, you know what this is? Hmm. Oh god that's hurting my throat. That's me in humble pie. I thought like when you said you brought a couple of hoodies I was like how much are you gonna pay for a hoodie with a dog on it?

18 bucks. That's you know what you know if it's 150 quid you've given that gives a dog some food for a bit so yeah I've dived in too quick with my hate and my slamming. Shall we take a little bit of a moment? I just want to take a little bit of a moment. If you were to sort of study what sort of happened here, okay, and I encourage people listening to have a listen back, because when Tom was going into footage, you've noticed an energy to him, like a real, it was like he just had a barocca inserted into his anus, right? It was really like he was doing a whole bit, he was doing a big impression, he did an impression of Sam, which I didn't mention, she's actually English, so the Australian accent was needless.

But you weren't to know that, but you really went in. And then at the moment where you sort of thought, oh, okay, maybe it's all right what he's done, the energy dropped, your voice got quieter. Just your general, the enjoyment you had in being positive and nice was markedly lower than when you were going in two foot. Oh, I didn't love me a couple of hoodies, that's all right, I'll just put the word on social media.

Right, you did all that, and then as soon as you were like, oh, maybe I've gotten a bit off, yeah, I suppose, actually, a lot of dogs, you actually bought a couple of hoodies and you spent the day there, so maybe that's alright, isn't it? It was so obvious, you didn't even disguise it. You know what, can I say this? I feel so bad. I shall make a donation as well for like

my bad words. So yeah, we're both doing a bit for the city because you know, it's yeah, we are animals of kind and we're kind creatures. Yeah, we support the whole pack, don't we? Yeah. So let me pick me the day I'll find the details on social media and it'll be anonymous. So I know it's from me because I don't want to be that guy. No, you just announced on the date. I'll find the details on social media and it'll be anonymous. So I know it's from me I don't want to be that guy. No, you just announced on the podcast. I get it No, you are really I want to be like a Bruce Wayne with this shit Yeah, so what how much you thinking about donating because obviously me but it's just pathetic wasn't it?

Well, I bought a couple of hoodies. It's like 130 140 dollars or something like that. But you know, I'm just gonna Well, okay okay you're gonna match my... I'll give them 250 dollars. I went down there do you know what I mean? So... Oh yeah but I'm not gonna fucking one way fight and see the rest of the... I'm not saying go there but I'm... What are you doing? I'll fucking...

You know we'll get involved in a whole big fight and I'll just go at Battersea Dog's Arm it's five minutes on the road mate. Okay but you haven't done have you? I mean you haven't done it. We don't need to be invited. It's not someone's house for dinner. Listen let me tell you something. Let me say by the way there was a red carpet treatment you got there. I didn't get red carpet treatment. You can't just rock up at a fucking like a dog and cat zone and go all right come in for a little walkabout. You've got a fucking, they've got to invite, you've got to be a guest of honor.

Well no, I invited myself. Yeah, no, but they let you in because they're like, I'm fucking out, get the social media people here, give Catholic call. Right. Do you know what I mean? And before you get there, so Battersea Dogs, if you want me to come down to a charitable thing

to do with animals, I'll pop along. Okay, but Battersea Dogs home is five minutes up the road from here, is it? Yeah, but that'd be the easiest one to go to. You animals I pop along. Okay, but actually dogs home is five minutes up the road from you, is it? Yeah, but that'd be the easiest one to go to, honestly. You haven't so far. No, no, but I've not been invited. I don't know if they need me. I wasn't invited to Sydney Dogs and Cats Home. You're invited to Sydney Dogs and Cats Home.

Yeah. You're very, very decent. I'm not saying that I'm decent. You're smart with, you know, yeah, I know how good I am as a human being. I'm a decent buddy I'm not saying it. I'm decent. You're smart with you. Yeah. I know how good I am as a human being I'm a decent buddy. Go on, mate I think that those dogs and cats will talk about that forever lady in a tramp Oh, it was pretty shit when there was one day this English guy came yeah

No, no, my neighbor Have you heard of Ramesh Ranganathan? No, me neither. He turned up and we all had to fucking stop our, we had to stop doing surgery on one of the cats because that fucking wanker wanted a VIP tour. At the end of it, we were showing him around, Vicky released us, he was gonna get the new facility built. He bought two fucking hoodies, complained about one of them being the wrong size and then fucked off.

Yeah, I know the guy, he sticks his nose into everybody's business. We had to get our social media person to get involved because his tour manager didn't want anything to fucking do with it. Grax has loved it, he loves animals, doesn't he? Oh, Grax is good, man. I thought I was too smooth with the guy along, did he not fancy it? Too smooth was meeting...

That guy has got friends all over the world, so obviously he had a group of people. Can I say by the way, he seems to be able to just go to any town and get work. Like he's like, he went to Hong Kong on the way to Dubai, right, and got a fucking gig. Yeah, yeah, he's in Hong Kong now and then he's going to Kuala Lumpur for another gig. And then he's coming to you.

Yeah. Wow. The life that guy has is so fucking, I know. He's like almost called on you when it comes to, as a person, he's called on both of us. Almost, I think almost is doing a lot of heavy lifting there his life is fucking he is like a superstar DJ now right yeah he has been for a while I get

I've got a bit worried about him coming out to Australia because because he is so cool he's like Eve's tour DJ and he's like you know he did he went to Japan and you know I don't want to go on tour DJ. And he's like, you know, he did, he went to Japan and, you know, I don't want to go on about all the shit he's done, but the point is, is that our tours, our tour is, I would describe it as relatively tame, you know, by comparison. Yeah, can I say he, he's very proud of it. He's very sweet, the post-ie part.

I mean, it means a lot to him that he's doing it. Yes, it does. But, but- So let me just say, and this is, like what you're doing is very fucking cool in itself, you're breaking new ground with stand up to do something different and give it stand up a different energy. Well I think it's pretty cool. Have you seen any of the videos he's posted from Hong Kong? No no no no I've heard that. If I was just looking objectively If I was just looking objectively at the videos, I would describe the energy in the videos in Hong Kong compared to the energy of the stuff he put up from Australia. Very much I describe your two relative energies when you were going in two-footed on me and

actually commiserating and congratulating me. Just one's up here and one's just rock bottom. I think that what he's doing when he is doing stuff with you is there could be music fans who are coming on to get a taste of comedy and really like love stand up, right? And then there's going to be like stand up and comedy fans who are walking away going fucking hell that guy at the top was brilliant. And then they're going to have a new love for the sort of music view in mind.

I'm going to say. I actually think it's a really fucking cool. I genuinely think it's a fucking cool thing you're doing. I'm going to directly, it's very kindly, I'm going'm gonna directly quote Martin what he said midway through the Australia tour Okay, and he meant this is a compliment, but you can imagine how I took this Rob Graz absolutely loved this tour. I've got to tell you of all the tools I've done This is the one that I felt the most well rested I've done this is the one that I felt the most well rested. Oh wow. Yeah but that's nice. Are you, but you're not partying at, you're, you're, you're, we've had a couple of party nights but, like big, big vibey parties. Not big vibey parties we just, what I'm trying to think of what we did,

went out for cocktails a couple of times after a couple of shows and it got a bit, you know, went on a bit. Elvino did flow, just put it that way. And flowed pretty freely, I don't mind telling you. Ha ha ha. ["Dreams of a New World"] We had a big night out in Perth actually. I say big night. With Grazie.

Me, Grazie, Grazie Martin and myself went out in Perth. Arrived there about 8 o'clock. By 9 o'clock we're out on the town. Don't give a shit us boys. And shout out to the Perf crowd. The crowd was called Perthians. They're called the Perthians. What's so depressing is that's how I refer to them during the show. Really? Yeah.

And as much as I love you, I do like to comfort myself in thinking there's very little overlap between our comedy. And then now I've discovered that we both had given them the same fucking nickname and but the only thing is that is that you would have done it in a different tone you've got work loose for my perfumes let me tell you something look I'll tell you something now there's many people everybody look across this great land of Australia they look to Sydney they look to Melbourne as the bastions. Ye naive and Canberra is the capital of this great nation, but let me tell you something Perfians, this is the town that I think of when I think of this nation.

So I say to you, the next time you go out to a bar or a pub, my Perfians, you raise a pint to yourselves. And you say to yourself, I am from Perth, and I'm proud to the Perthians. And when you like chuck a glass into the audience or something take your shirt off. You know all Jake and Cy, that is so exactly what I'd have done. That is and I'm proud of you. Yours was more, you know how irritating it is right? When you get a pair of socks that run down your feet and eventually they go for a full ankle sock just through a chainless sock.

What would you say about that, Perfiggans? You're a real piece of shit, aren't you? Where are you now? I'm in my office. You're in your office, there you go. So there you go guys. You've been wondering why Tom's being like this is because he's at work. This is work, Tom. Turns out. Tom's a fucking piece of shit horrible little fucking No, it's cuz I've had a long day of working I've hardly had any sleep grace He's leaving up to what you've been up to we didn't right in the way brother right just some yeah, right

Good and then I've got a week. Catherine went for a girls weekend. So I had grace for the weekend. Amazing, great time with her, but refused to sleep. It was like, in her head, we were having like, issues like Martin T's movie. It's like, let's go through the weekend with no sleep and let's just fucking party.

So currently, and now she's at an age, I don't know if you're like, where she'll get out of bed herself and just come into my room and just smack me in the face and go, Daddy, Daddy, should we go downstairs? And you're like, no, it's like fucking 3am. So this version of Tom is a Tom who's very silly, deprived, under a lot of pressure when it comes to work. And this time that I spend with you is literally a time I cherish because it's the only time

I can probably just be a bit of a dickhead and a bit of a prick. Well I'd love to ask you a question Tom actually because just before... Hit me with your love stick, I'm here for you baby. Okay that was... so just before we jumped on the podcast and by the way just for clarity you didn't really inconvenience me at all. It was, it was actually fun. Anyway, we've got room service. Yeah. We were sitting, having a meal. It was very pleasant.

And then Theo said to me, why is it that hotel room numbers, our hotel room numbers is this, right? And I said, well, the beginning of the room number is the floor that the room's on. Right? Yeah. And then he said, I think that's dumb. Right. And I said, okay, why? And he said, because we're like, we're quite high up, right? So it makes the number longer. And on more than one occasion, when we've gone down to breakfast or whatever, they've asked me for the room number and I've not been able to remember it, right?

So I've said to Theo, what's the room number again? He's logged that. And so he said to me, if they didn't do it like that and they just had numbers, and I said, okay, but what happens if you get into the lift one night and you just have your room number? I I said you have to then have to compute what floor is my what floor is my room on again all right that to me seems obvious anyway what's he saying like you'd be on a 10th floor but your room

would be 10 what he's saying is is like your room would be whatever like that you just number the rooms on first the first room on the first floor would be room 1 and then you go up from there okay okay so if you room 51 you're the 51st room up do you know what I mean? That's some good thinking okay well there you go because what I'm gonna say to you is that you got very hated at one point I think that he's being serious, I think that he's being serious there's an argument in the world that you could have against Theo. What do you mean? Apart from the only thing that I actually think would be fucking cool is when you go to a hotel, you can name your own room. Why would you do that?

You think it's a cool thing. So you turn up and go, hello, Mr. Ranganathan. Hello, Ranganathan. So what do you want to call your room? Well, you're here. It's like when people name a really big house, you go, oh, we got to let's go with Huckleberry. Okay, you'll be in Huckleberry. This is where it is. And then when you go to breakfast, if you haven, let's go with Huckleberry. Okay, you'll be in Huckleberry. This is where it is.

But a boom, and then when you go to the breakfast, so if you haven't got to remember the room, then you just go, oh yeah, we're in Huckleberry. No, it's much easier. Rather than you to learn one room number, everybody working at the hotel knows the nickname for every night that a different person comes to stay there. Oh, are they in Huckleberry?

No, no, good, but. No, it used to be called Huckleberry. It's called Kendrick Lamar now. Because that's what the new people have called it. So change that. Quick one. After you finish cleaning the toilets, can you make sure that everybody knows that that room is now called Sophia Loren? Is that all right? But listen to me, hit me up because this is this is why Theo's had a problem with you. Right. It's because you are you're a man of like you're a man of rules. Right. You like to live in the parameters of the

norm. That's not Theo. Don't you dare fucking question it. Don't. Theo's come out with a really fuck. He's like dad, dad, chill out. Stop screeching. Put your falafel down for a second, dad. And have a breath. Yeah. No, I won't. No, no, no, there's a reason and there's a law. Dad, dad, dad, dad, please man, yeah, just chill. What I'm saying, yeah, is there's 670 rooms in this fucking place. If we just go by the law of like, let's just go fucking that six rooms, 600, everyone will know what it means. And then you're going to go, feel a charm of Shane that we could name every room individually. Phil will be like that. That's some good fucking thinking outside the box.

Right? Oh, wow. The point is, when do you even say your room number? You say it to the guy who you're checking with, right? And the people at breakfast, dinner, lunch. The rest of the time, you know. So they'll, like, when they'll go, oh, the Ragged Aethans are in Huckleberry.

Which one's Huckleberry? Oh, it's 10-07, do you know what I mean? Oh, okay, that's on the 10th floor, do you know what I mean? For them, it doesn't matter, it's just got a new name. So when you're going around the hotel, you remember the name you've called it. Don't change the name, you just have a code name for it. Do you see what I'm saying?

No, no. What? No, I don't. That's an amazing idea. It's not an amazing idea. So you guys, okay, can we just break this down and go through the prices of checking it, right? So you turn up at the hotel and they go,

your room is what, 1217, let's say, right? What would you like to call it? And you go- Dalmatian. Right, so your room's Dalmatian now, right? So then you go to breakfast the next day. So they make a note that it's Dalmatian, right? And that goes what? Yeah, yeah.

Okay, and then somebody turns up the next day. As I'm talking about this, it's actually starting to make, it's actually starting to sound like it's easier than I thought. So then you go to breakfast and they've got it on their list that your room is named. Yeah, number one, they shouldn't be using lists. You're you're staying in Dubai So probably I'd imagine yeah, but like you've just said They've got an iPad Yeah, but also because I said by the way smaller nice little like some B and B's all got nicknames like they'll go You're staying in the Mary El's switch and not my darling you know what I mean? It's like, you know, what I'm saying.

But they don't go, oh welcome, you're staying in the King Gary as you like to call it just for tonight. It's a permanent name isn't it? No, no, no. You're suggesting that every guest that comes there has a different name. Look, you'll forget it. I'd forget the name of a room if I'd invented it myself, right? So what you basically, when you come down to breakfast, you'll forget it. I'd forget the name of a room if I'd invented it myself, right? Yeah. So what you basically when you come down right to to breakfast, you'll come walking down and they'll go, good morning Mr Ranganathan. What room are you in? And you go, ah we're in the Honeyberry. And they're going, okay, Honeyberry. Yeah, we're just typing Honeyberry and go, oh, that's breakfast for six or five because Rita isn't fancy anything, whatever, do you know what I mean? Yeah, how many children do you think I've got?

I didn't know if your mum was there as well. Right, okay, you don't have that sense. But sorry, but I don't understand, you're not creating a lot of admin for no good reason. Yeah, but also what a fucking kick it is. No one ever gets to name a property or a house. Do you know what I mean? It's like fucking cool.

It's like this is ours just for a little bit of time. Savour it. Well, I don't consider a hotel room to be mine while I'm staying here to be honest with you. Mate, it becomes your little space, your safe haven. Away from the fucking records. How many arse cracks have touched stuff? You know, like how many?

Yeah, but I'll make. Can I just say any hotel cleaning staff, by and by, are incredible. That would be as clean as the first day it was ever made. You can eat your dinner off that. Yeah, not under your system. I go to them, could you clean our room please? Which room is it?

Oh, it's the notorious B.I.J. You know where it is, I've seen a bit. No, but then they just type it into the iPad and go, oh, he's talking about 10.71. Yeah, I do feel like you're creating extra work just for the novelty of being able to call your room whatever you want. Mate, there's novelties and craziness. I do feel like you're creating extra work just for the know that you've been able to call your room Whatever you want mate this novel even crazy. They said sometimes

You know you need to break the fucking parameters down around us and go fuck it. I can see again It's also clear now. Yeah All right Anyway, that was the debate that he and he was he was passionate I will say but one point he said to me and and I quote, Dad, are you being dumb on purpose? Wow. Wow. This is the kind of chat I've been having.

Just literally minutes before I lost it. Out of the three of us, he's got the best point. Mine is crazy. Mine is fucking renegade mad Steve Jobs vibes, right? Okay, don't turn it into a compliment. Don't compare deciding every guest should name their hotel for the night with the guy that fucking made the iPhone, all right?

Right. Right, Theo's is so fucking logistically brilliant. Is it? There's 700 rooms in a fucking hotel. I know, but okay, but you get into the lift, what button do you press? Oh, I know what floor I'm on anyway. Well, but-

Hold up, wait, what, what, what, what, what? You say it. Sometimes, by the way, that doesn't always work. I've stayed in bananas, crazy places, where it's like, oh, you're in 275, okay, I'm on the second floor, oh, no, you're actually on the third, because we don't count.

Mason 8, Mason 8, whatever they call it. Mezzanine. Mezzanine. Mezzanine, that's the devil, right? Okay. So the mezzanine label becomes broken. You're right, Tom, that sounds fucking bananas. It's like you're staying in fucking Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, that sounds like. Jesus Christ!

That sounds fucking hell. Do you know Tom Davis? He's a fucking lunatic. Why? Have you heard about some of the places he goes away to? What do you mean? He was telling me this story. Fucking hell. He got everyone to be quiet. We're all down in the pub, everyone's commiserating because Julie just lost her job. Tom asked everyone to stop talking about that. He's a hell of a rack

on turbine. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Julie just lost her job. Started telling this story about he stayed at a hotel the other night, right? This is fucking mad. This is mad, this is mad. Right, this is the kind of shit this guy gets up to. The room was 275, okay, you tell me,

if you're staying in a room 275, what floor are you pressing on the left? Probably gonna go on the second floor, I imagine. Okay, well that's where you'd be wrong. Because at the place that Tom was staying at, I assume he chose it deliberately, they don't count the mezzanine. So.

Oh, fuck, yeah. Yeah. And that was, by the way, what just took 30 seconds, Tom told that over 45 glorious minutes down at pub the other night. No, look, can I also say, by the way? I'd love you to. I would love you to. 45 glorious minutes than a pub the other night No, look can I also say by the way How lovely I would love you? Yeah, but when you go to a multi-story car park, right? You're at least a sort of like kickback on Saturday. You go to a shopping center

Yeah, right. You don't like you you remember yourself what fucking floor you are Right sure, you know, we're on a third floor of the multi-story. You know fucking hell I need a ticket or some reminder you remember that yourself. Yeah I am parked in murdering success Phil. Let's head over there Number one, I wouldn't call my room something I've made I call it safe, but I can't complete this I don't have any idea But can I just say right if that was if you were going to do Theo's thing, what are the first things I'd do is on the lift,

that you'd have like all the fucking floors with the room numbers are on each floor. There we go. That's your problem solver. Okay. But yeah, but a problem that's created by this changing system, right? You don't need a problem solver if you don't do that. Is it's the point? But you're constantly you're the one who's going out to the forget what room't do that. It's the point, mate. Yeah, but you're constantly, you're the one who's going up, sort of, and forgetting what

room you're in. It happened twice. Twice? Oh my God, I thought it happened once. No. That's insane. Listen, I have stayed in eight hotels in the last fucking week. Exactly.

Right. What would be easier, right? Every hotel you stayed in, you'd go in and go, oh yeah, yeah, what's the name? I'm going to call it Falafel, Falafel John John and you said that in every hotel you went in so you always know where you're staying. Tom it being called Falafel John that that makes the assumption that in then they go oh Romesh is here for one night he's called his room Falafel John can we change all the signage across the hotel? No they don't change his signage. So how does it so how the fuck does it help me? It's a fucking Ritz's you're staying in I assume they probably have some sort of cool little electric thing that just goes

Like when you check in this is blank and then it goes Like kits mouth used to on Knight Rider and say like falafel John where and then you walk on the fucking door But there'd probably be like a USB and you walk on the fucking door. Like there'd probably be like a USB in the door. Okay, fine, fine. So let's assume that the hotel I've got gone to has got USBs for something. They're high tech, but also incredibly low tech

where they got USBs, electronic screens on the doors. And then one door in the entire hotel says, for Laffle John in order in order to find it I walk around the whole fucking hotel until I see one of the entrance Which by the way is identical to every other electronics chain. They've got for everyone else. That's called it who must pay Yeah But it's still just a little electronic screen isn't it? That would be where the problem is someone else came in and went oh I'm staying at a hotel I feel like I'm in Falafel John, we've already got Falafel John and then you beat it.

Where are you staying? I'm in Falafel John 2. Be careful because it's down that way you've got to go past Falafel John. Falafel John 2 is just down the corridor. But then if you had like a little beeper with you so that it sort of... Okay, okay, fine, fine. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of get-arounds, aren't there, that I would say are rendered completely unnecessary by just having the numbers match the floor numbers, right? Yeah, but I think for you, look, I'm saying my idea's

like fucking bougie, it's really fucking high and it's probably the sort of thing that, like, the top hotels in the world would do because it's like, can call it, it's fucking the very of now. Right? Theo's is really good just for sort of like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah. I just think it's nice to not. It's nice to sometimes break the norms. Yeah, sure. But, you know, the point I was making is it just makes it easy when you know what floor number is also when you do break norms and try different things, think it out. You know, at times you go to a place and it hasn't thought out properly, you're like, Oh, this is a really cool idea. For example, I

went to a restaurant not so long ago, right. And you had to order your food on the iPad, right? But I didn't have any descriptions of the meals on the iPad it was a really bad system. Excuse me can I have a quick word please what do you mean by cheeseburger? No but like they had sushi and stuff so you're a little bit left with the dog. So you then had to like press the button and you could only order four things at once. Like for your person. That's probably so isn't it? Yeah. But what I'm saying is that then the guy kept on coming over and going, Oh, how are you getting on with the system? And we're like, oh, actually, can we just get this? And he'd be like, oh, can you just put it in the system?

I was like, well, you're standing here now. And it became very tricky. The whole thing became quite. Were there any advantages of this system? Well, if you don't like talking to people, if you like to go to a restaurant and not have to have any kind of conversation with them, just quietly sit on your own.

Yeah, I guess so. I like chatting with a waiter. I know you do. I love saying to a waiter, what would you suggest? What would you recommend? It's one of my favorite questions in the world. When you say these things, just for once, for once in your 40 plus years of life,

can you give a bit of consideration to the person on the other end of this fucking exchange? Maybe it's a nice thing to say because then they feel integrated in your meal. Why do you... you're making the assumption... Look, I will tell you now, right, there's not many better feelings, right, sitting there on your food and go, oh, just have a little look at the menu here, mate. Oh, of course you are. That is why you're here. Ah! Um, basically I was... Well, fucking hell. Do you know what? Consider me, consider me corrected.

I had no idea that electric chat like that was flying around. I'm so sorry. What a fucking idiot. I can imagine, I can imagine a waiter at the end of their shift going, so do you want to settle up in cash? You don't need to settle up actually.

I, earlier on, I had a little joke around about somebody looking at their menu that was so rewarding, I don't actually want paying for today. So don't worry about it, you can eat your money. Right, right, look, wait, don't jump in it before you've heard it, all right? Yeah, I'll just have a look through the menu.

Oh, as is your way, that's why you're here. What would you recommend? Oh, I would say that the sea bass with monkfish jamboree is the nicest thing that we've got. Oh wow, that sounds nice. I'll tell you what, I'm stalled. What's your name? Kevin. Thank you, Kevin. I'll have that please. The sea bass and monkfish are reasonable. Is that the end of the chat? No, no, no. Okay, that's that bit of chat? No, no, no. Okay, go on. That's the end of the chat.

No, no, no. This is where it gets really nice. Okay. Mm, cool. Hello, Kevin. Yeah, yeah. I was just saw how much you seem to be enjoying the sea bass and monkfish. You know what?

This is one of the best things I've ever eaten. Thank you, Kevin. No, thank you. You just made my day. Okay. Okay. Okay. I mean that works if you happen to be in the best thing you've ever eaten, doesn't it? Yeah, even if it's the fifth best thing you've ever eaten,

do you know what I mean? It's still's not the best thing I've ever eaten? You know, like, if you're having a, I don't know, you're having a steak and kidney pile, if I imagine you like those, do you? Yeah, I like a pudding. I like a steak and kidney pudding. Yeah, a steak and kidney pudding. It's incredible. Do you prefer a steak and kidney pudding to a steak pudding?

Yeah, I mean, I quite like the old kidneys in there. Do you? But yeah, I mean, but who says it's not the best thing I've ever eaten? Okay, sometimes. I've heard people say it. Yeah. It's not the best thing I've ever eaten.

Yeah, yeah. I'd take that. If I was a chef, I'd go, oh, so obviously I don't think it's disgusting, but yeah, how do I get this person? You know, life is always going to be disappointing. But every time you sit down to a meal, you're sort of thinking this better be the best thing I've ever eaten.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I just feel like lowering expectations is probably healthy, isn't it? And that's my expectation is always very low. Are they? But that's. Are they? So sometimes I think I know you pretty well. Now I'm starting to wonder if you fucking know yourself. Your expectations are pretty low, are they? You would say, generally, the way you conduct yourself in and about your life, your expectations

are always pretty low. That's a statement you're making. Well, expectations of myself or other people. No, listen, expectations of yourself pretty low. Is that, that's a statement you're making. Well, expectations of myself or other people. No, listen, expectations of yourself. Yeah. By the way, just as a distraction, not a distraction, but this is what's reminded me. This morning, Tom, I want you to imagine this, bro.

All right, imagine this. Talking about having low expectations of yourself and low opinions of yourself, right? Yeah. Charlie walks into our bedroom, okay? Right. There's a pair of my shorts, like, on the futon at the end of the bed. He picks up the shorts and he says,

I'm going to try your shorts on. So I go, okay. So he tries the shorts on. Obviously they're massive on him, as would be expected. And then I said, oh, well done, mate. You look just like me. And he said, do you want to see my impression? And then I said, Oh, well done, mate. You look just like me. And he said, do you want to see my impression? And then I go, okay.

And he, he pulls his shorts open, looks down at his body and he just goes, why am I so fat? Oh, why do I look like this? Oh, I need to lose a bit of weight. I thought, Oh my God, that is his go-to impression of me. That is bad, isn't it? In fact, it's so bad that as I started telling it, I thought it would be a funny story. As I started telling it.

No, like, genuinely, I actually thought we were. It's actually fucking dark, isn't it? We were riffing there and I was like, oh, look, this is actually a nice way to sort of fucking riff to maybe a couple of emails. Now, I actually feel bad about all the shit I've given you. You're coming into this, with that happening to you today. Yeah, bad.

What is that? Is that happening to my son? I'd say it's happening to my son more than it is coming to me. Right, would you like an email? I love an email. I feel like we've dropped off the emails a bit. I know this one.

Yeah, that's sort of my fault, really. Okay. Is that flame on your top fault really. Um, okay. Is that flame on your top by the way? Just go there. Is this what? Oh, this is a, this is a Northern wrap group called Flame Griller. Oh, very cool.

Anyway, good morning Tom and Rom. Good morning Fred. Just been listening to your podcast and series three, episode 49, while recovering from surgery in the big smoke. I'm a 45 year old man, runs family scaffolding company and I've just started doing comedy. It was you two and Mr. Rob Beckett

who gave me the Ursh to Start comedy. So it's a confidence. Yeah, Robbie Beckett was going until soon. If you haven't got him, get tickets, he's electric. Okay. Each and every one of you had fit into my group of friends and reparates and I'd like to think we'd all work together.

Tom, being a part one scaffold, being a part, what's a part one scaffolder, Tom? Uh, I wasn't a part one scaffolder. I never quite really passed my part one, but it's like the, uh, GVQs, like I don't know what you got in teaching, but yeah, qualifications is a scaffolder. I went to record a number of times and failed every time. It was pathetic.

What did you have to do a written exam? No, you have to do like a practical exam and, and yeah, and sort of, well, yeah, you have to sort of like, I think there's like mobile choice shit and all that to it from what I remember, yeah. It was a long time ago, back to it from my memory. I went out and just got drunk and sort of just acted sort of silly because I wanted to compensate

for the fact that I didn't really understand what I was doing. But that was genuinely, that was my problem throughout my schooling. I was terrible. And that, coming to later life as well All of my reports are that I was one of the laziest individuals that the teachers The teachers ever come across. I thought you were like you you were like very clever at school, right?

Well, because you are like Jimmy the coverage but I want to tell you Oh like without bullshit, you are fucking clever guy You you strike me as a guy Who could have fucked about class at the end of the class? I'm a turn around the guy Robbins Ranganathan Do you understand anything that was said and you turn around the guy yet and then for bait and turn around exactly tell them What what they'd said and then they go alright and do a golf and go I thought you were concentrated But you obviously are you're probably more clever than I am so well

You've put a bit you put a lot too much stank on that. But what a lot of the reports would say is Romesh could actually achieve well if he bothered to actually pay attention. Very lazy, very lazy. Anyway, Tom being a part one scaffolder basically means fuck all. But much respect doing the fifth

most dangerous job in Britain. We chatted over Twitter many years ago about it and I'd love you if you bring Ron and Rob along to try and do some real work one day down in Brighton with me and my gangs. He loves you doing well, he's got gangs. How would you fancy my chances at scaffolding? You do very well by the way. Well physically it's a physical job isn't it? Yeah you're fit, you're a good change. Anyway, I mean I bet they'd love Beckett. Beckett would fucking take to it. Like somebody really good at scaffolding to scaffolding. Tom you said on Toby Tarrant's show that site worker normal everyday people give you the best content. Well one day when we're the four best friends anyone could ever have we could get some good content together.

I think it's really pitching to join the gang isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. So basically, this person started to do comedy. I'd like to tell you one of my jokes. Okay. Here is here is I'm going to read it. I'm trying to deliver it. It's a big, big, big, big risk. This is a big risk. Okay. Yeah, because you've got to tell it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna. So this is just so you know, this isn't a joke. Joke. I've just skimmed it as I'm talking to you now. This looks like this is a bit of stand up. So this is just so you know, this isn't a joke, Joe. I've just skimmed it as I'm talking to you now.

This looks like this is a bit of stand up. So you got to imagine this is being delivered as a many times in my life. People have given me advice one day in a panic, like a light bulb moment. This thing I was told came into my head. I had a Staffordshire Bull Terrier dog who used to get attacked by little dogs all the time. One day, this little fluffy white dog came running over barking. So I picked up my little Frankie, but this dog jumped up and latched onto her paw.

My Frankie went mental and wriggled out of my arms and locked onto this dog's neck. I tried everything, pulling her jaws apart, forcing my fingers between her teeth, but nothing. The boy, I and the dog was crying, saying your dog is killing my dog. So I screamed at him, well fucking help then, as he was just stood there.

Then bang, what'd you do when a staff locks its jaws stick a finger in its ass so bang bang bang? I Didn't do it more than once as it didn't fucking work Took the white dog's collar off and put it in my Frankie's mouth and literally kicked them apart We both walked away from that fight highly embarrassed That's the um, I know I've got cut 80% out of this joke What do you guys think? This joke has got something to it or should I stick it in?

Yeah, I think you should probably go into more detail about the, the actual sticking his fingers out the bum. I'm quite interested if that he's tried that hasn't worked. What sticking the finger out the bum? Yeah, yeah. Feels like he's edged around that he's been really. I mean, let's, let's workshop it. What do you think, what do you think this routine could do with?

I mean, what? Okay, here's workshop it. What do you think this routine could do with? I mean, okay, here's my instincts. It starts off quite dark or quite frightening, doesn't it? I mean, you're talking about a dog. You've got into a lot of detail about the viciousness of the attack. Yeah, but also, if I'm gonna be quite honest, it's like, it's straight away, like I'm not buying it a fucking fluffy white dog

is attacking a staff, and the staff is gonna be fucking terrified um I mean yeah I mean it's not necessarily my sort of style I think I could see that you could make it work if it's a true story but a lot of you know you've got that wouldn't be an opening bit because you're straight away gonna get no yeah if I'm gonna be if some advice would be like I had felt like coming from the background of being a scaffolder and that environment, one of the things I had to do quite quickly is make sure people didn't feel like I was a threat or I was necessarily just going to be fucking,

you know, that I wasn't a guy coming on stage who had four staffs and was quite, you know, I had to, I had to, I've had to sort of let people know that that's, I'm not that guy. Do you know what I mean? That's not me as a person. And I think like people, I think it's always interesting when you're a comedian to watch someone break stereotype and do stuff that doesn't feel, oh, that's just, that's a go to. I think, you know, if I was to break down this routine, I think that you've got an interesting premise here, the dog sticking a finger up the dog's ass.

I think that's funny if you make that into it. But I think that there's little things here. Like, for example, the boy who owned the dog was crying, saying, your dog is killing my dog. If I can just isolate that phrase, I'm going to find it very difficult as an audience member to find anything funny after you've said those words. Because now I'm thinking about a kid crying

and a dog potentially dying. So I'm just saying that is then what you're doing is you're putting a lot of pressure on this punch line to get you out of trouble here. Do you know what I mean? And then I'd be tempted just by looking at your thing is to go it's to examine this the the the the logic or the thought process of seeing a staffy with another dog at its jaws and thinking the right course of action here is to stick my finger up its ass I think

even if you've been told that by dog dog expert, I think it's a real wall of the dust. That's the only time I've ever heard anyone who's actually done that. I've heard people since I was a kid say if you ever get attacked by a stag stick a finger up its bum. And that's the first time I've actually heard it. The funnier way to be would would to be almost going like, here's a bit of advice that I shouldn't have fucking listened to.

Like, you know, the other day when my stuff gets attacked, it fights back. Next thing I know, there's two staffs going head to head fighting. There's a crowd watching. I realized this is a horrible thing for people to see. So I think, right, let's just go for it. And, you know, this was an awful time to find out that she's taking it. Yeah. think, right, let's just go for it. And yeah, this was an awful time to find out that she's sticking. Yeah, I'm basically on all fours with a finger up her staff's asses now, but he getting even more annoyed. Yeah.

But the truth is you sound like you've got you know, just from your email, it sounds like you've got you've got something about you. Yeah, I like the vibe. Yeah, I do say I'm doing my first gig at the Commedia in the beginning and also the other thing is, look I can tell you from experience, going from scaffolding into comedy has led to some real gems in our industry. So you know it's a path that I respect. Well shot then my friend. I've got my first gig at the Commedia in the beginning of December. If I can follow my dream then we'll meet one day

and hopefully work together. Okay, well good luck with it, man. Well, no, number one, can I just shout you out? Because I like, and this is genuine, like coming from something like scaffolding or whatever, but whoever you come from, whatever job you've done with your teacher, scaffold or whatever, you know, that first gig is,

so many people I know and I've met who seem to think that they could have done it or they should have done it or whatever and never actually have the weather all to go and do it. So I always respect anyone to go and do it. I respect anyone who does. I agree with you. I find a lot of people that have watched me do stand up then have the heartfelt belief that they could probably do it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you're killing it. You people will talk in these, you know, in towns and fucking villages from worldwide now about the day that Romesh Ranganathan came to their local area. I don't know. He came, man. He went to the dog's home and stroked and cut all the dogs. And he made everybody laugh and he made everybody feel hopeful. There's a better day coming.

You know? OK, thank you. Okay, do you want to do one more email? Yes, do it. Long time listener, first time emailer. My email is about an app I came across. It made me make me think of your guys perhaps more so Romesh, your kids are more inclined to use this newfangled language. The app is skibbidi. It translates gen alpha words into normal

sentences just using the word normal makes me feel odd. I'm 43 with a 10 year old son and it will only be a matter of time if I have no idea what he's jabbering on about. I would love to know if Ramesh is able to use it with his kids to either understand some of their everyday terms or just hike up the cringe worthiness. It's not actually said what the... oh it's called Skibbidi. you know about skibbidi no no skibbidi toilet riz yeah no it's like this so if I explain it to you my my limited understanding there's like a thing that went viral of this let me see if I can play this to you okay it's called skibbidi toilet and it's this head coming out of a toilet it's

like a computer animation of a head coming out of a toilet singing a song and the song is skibbidi skibbidi toilet song you ready can you see the animation Oh, yes, yes. Skibbidi, da ba da neem, neem. Skibbidi, da ba da neem, neem. Oh, yes, yes. Skibbidi, da ba da neem, neem. Can you see the animation? Oh, what is this one, it is? Yeah. Skibbidi, da ba da neem, neem. This would be like Steve Stanton, the one on the right.

Skibbidi, da ba da neem, neem. Oh, yes, yes. Skibbidi, da ba da neem, neem. What is it though? Was it even thought? That's it, that's it. So it's like, there's some sort of like, there's loads of animations like that.

I mean, I can't really follow it, but anyway, kids have started saying skibbidy now. That's like a thing. Right. And then I said skibbidy and Theo asked me to never say it again. You gotta be careful. Cause it's like when your mom or your parents

or fucking older people use the word cool or dude when we were younger. Yeah. Or cow bunga. God that really. Oh man, I hate when these old fuckers use this cool stuff. when we were younger. Yeah. Or cow bunga. Oh man, I hate when these old fuckers use this cool slang like dude. Um, right. Okay. Tom, it's about that time. Oh shit. He's ready. Okay. Let's do it. Preachers and sermons, priests and words.

Where's religious cloth and do we have to be religious to wear it? No, do we have to be in the church to even hear it? And what prayers if we're not religious? Just speaking into nothingness, words just ever way into the clouds that just come back down as rain, falling on your heads. Whisk on, saying, hey friend, maybe you should show a little bit more faith. The truth about believing and praying and all these things is sometimes you're not even believing or praying or doing as such, you're just letting your feelings out into the ether. And sometimes you don't need anything back. Sometimes it's just taking a load off your shoulders and saying, God I need help or God I think things,

I hope things are going to be okay. Hey help help me friend. I need help. And you're not necessarily saying that to anyone in particular. Maybe you're asking yourself, because after all, best friend you've got in the world is going to be yourself. But sometimes out of nowhere, you ask for a friend to call. And they do. And then you question, is somewhere up there hear me? Or is that person just telepathic and in my mind so if you need it ask for it and it shall come Wow thank you thank you got a bit choked up on that one brother actually it was just a bit of spit I had from that certainly made me fall in love with you that okay JT could you play I don't know

if you saw this video but it's on tick tock as is all of my research now. That's the only source of information Eekid Bogart Jonathan wrote him Edward Cobb wrote the song SOS by Rihanna. You know that song Anyway, he revealed in a recent interview that the entire second verse is comprised of Song titles of tunes from the 80s He just basically stuck them together if you listen to that second verse The songs that feature include our house take on me cutting crews. I just died in your arms

Tears for fears head over heels you keep me hanging on by Kim Wild and The Way You Make Me Feel by Michael Jackson. They just took different 80 song titles, put them in a list and that is a second verse of SOS. So JT, could you play that second verse of SOS by Rihanna for us please to take us out? Guys, thank you so much. I think it's about, if you do fancy it, although we'll probably do another Push Nearer of the Time, but if you're coming to the Ali Pali show and you want to send in a problem that you want us to discuss at that show, stick Ali Pali in the subject title and send us an email and we'll add it to the pile of things that we might refer to at the time.

Yeah. I wasn't sure how to end that sentence, I apologise for that. But it was nice when you did, baby. Yeah. Tom, thank you so much, my guy. My guy, it's been a dream. Tom Davis is, like an exclusively reveal, is on his way now.

The reason he's had to move the podcast earlier is because he's off to a gig now, writing, I can reveal the title of Tom's new show is gonna be called Underdog 2, Underer and Dogger, is that right? Is that? It's all about being a dogger, yeah. Right, yeah, okay. So, he's trying out new material for that,

so if you see Tom listed here. It's called Under the Dogger, it's cause like, what, yeah, we're like a society that people don't really respect. Yeah, in terms of the food or system, what is Under the Dogger? Yeah. The wolf and owl.

Yeah. So there you go. All right, great. God bless people. Thanks guys, see you soon. Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. Thank you, wolf and out. Yeah. So there you go. All right. Right. God bless you guys. See you soon. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My senses out the door, can't seem to find the light Take me, you know is that you feel it right? Take me on my crutches, I up in your arms tonight I'm out with you, you got me head over heels Before you keep me hanging on the way you make me feel

S.O.S. please, someone help me Tell me