Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 6: Caesar Salads & Rom’s Near Miss

Episode Date: January 31, 2024

We’re talking… Rom’s shit internet (part 3), caesar salad disasters and a ‘hangry’ Tom, goats cheese flambé, restaurant meal identifying skills, getting heckled by a pizza, oversharing on stage, Rom nearly getting run over, a ‘Phoebe Run’ challenge, Kiefer Sutherland mixups and watching film credits. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com/ A Shiny Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It's Tim's 60th anniversary and Roll Up to Win is back! Roll your way into prizes like coffee, donuts, and even $60 Tim's gift cards! Play now on the Tim's app. Rules apply, Canada only, no purchase necessary. Visit the Tim's app for details. On April 5th... You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad times will start now.

Evil things of evil. It's all for you. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? The most terrifying. 666 is the mark of the devil. Movie of the year.

It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. in theaters April 5th. an owler that ain't just a mistake that's an awful howler both of them are known to pull up at your shows have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows fuck the censorship let them see the whole thing they stay dressed to kill never sheep's clothing dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all you hear is a huff a puff and a expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog welcome to the wolf and outing uh another stressful morning for the wolf well mainly for the owl but the wolf has

had to sort of uh secondhand deal with the sun isn't it it's yeah you're um you're i've actually had people reach out to me about your sky yeah well i've had i've had a basically i don't know if it's anybody's fault but what i would say is is that and i don't want to go on about this because now that's going to be three weeks in a row that i've three episodes in a row certainly that i've talked about it but um we've had people around and it's it's it's kind of made it worse. Actually, I don't want to blame Sky for this. I think it might be the people that first installed the internet into this house that have caused the problem.

So hold up. So you've had Sky experts out, right? And it's, well, they're in a conundrum. Basically, that's what's happened, yeah. I think it's a cool situation when the internet experts turn up and then do that

thing where they go well not really seen a setup like this before this is uh this is a weird one did they do that thing

where they go cool mate you should have uh you should have got us to set this up for you mate when you moved in yeah there's a lot of kind of

um well there's a lot of kind of um well there's a lot of me making a phone call and then telling lisa i was going to be out and could she deal with it do you know what i mean so that yeah i yeah i pass the buck sometimes with that sort of stuff um also but but anyway we're here now essentially working did lisa then call you and go this is inside told you that we should get sky to install this this is insane basically what happened was i'd be ready to go on to do a show, and then I'd be getting a series of text messages from Lisa,

just like, still here, they've not figured it out, this is really, this is going well, that sort of stuff. I mean, she's very chilled out, but you know, like Lisa's, I don't know if Catherine's like this. She's a very chilled, Lisa is an incredibly relaxed person. I can still tell, within that narrow band of what she's a very chill Lisa is an incredibly relaxed person I can still tell within that narrow band of

what she's like I can tell that there's there's a certain level of discomfort

going on do you know what I mean are the boys still live streaming games yeah and what they tend to do

is they tend to wait till I'm doing a podcast or an interview or something like that and then they all log

on and invite all their mates to really increase their demand on the internet. So the bandwidth is absolutely not good. You've got three beings that are using the internet. I've got three people that are basically, essentially, running internet basement operations from their bedrooms. Do you know what I mean?

They're all holed up in there, and they're all playing with different groups of mates it's pretty wild you almost need two routers don't you how many routers you got in your house

one yeah you need two routers mate I'll tell you that what does life become then Tom do you know what I mean getting multiple routers I'm trying to look like a man of the people

I don't want to start getting called double I don't want to start getting called double router on tour and stuff like that I don't want to start getting called double rooter on tour and stuff like that I don't want that heckle well you know what I think it is I think it

look I'm going to I'm going to deal with this quite quickly and efficiently I think this is a sort of part of life

where sometimes you expect too much from life just as a human being in 2024 23, i i so i basically i'm so well i would call you know i'd call this tom i'd call this a clumsy segue into something that affected you but let's hear about it no but it's very much the same ilk i ordered a salad the other day like yeah so we're recording this on Monday, Sunday lunchtime.

Me and Catherine, so basically at the moment, Grace is not sleeping at all. She's basically decided that, again, that she's sort of gone through a phase of sleeping, didn't really suit her, and she's gone back to actually deciding now not to sleep and wants to sort of basically be up playing and watching TV of an evening, of a night, should I say. So what times are we talking at?

I'm getting back from a gig. She lets me close my eyes for about an hour and then she decides then that that's a good time to wake up around sort of 1, 2 a.m. And as you know, I'm traveling, I'm touring. So you get back, I always come home. I always like to come home. So it's an insane thing of like,

so yesterday me and Catherine are sort of like, okay, let's take a bit of a chilled day, let's relax. And I was like, there's a place around the corner from us. Catherine enjoys a salad from there. So I was like I'll treat her we'll have a nice salad for lunch

but try and be healthy the salad arrives and it was absolute dog shit it was awe like usually this place is amazing can I ask you a question

what what first of all I saw because as is your want you shared it in an Instagram

yeah but this is yeah I did share it on Instagram. So when I looked at the salad, I have not, you know, I don't order salads. Well, it's a chicken salad. I know, I don't, I've seen, you ordered a Caesar salad, right? From my point of view, I was out, when I was on tour in Lincoln last week, we went out to a restaurant and somebody,

I was with Maxine, the sound tech, ordered a Caesar salad, right? And it had big like whole leaves, like big lettuce leaves like that. There were like whole boiled eggs in it, anchovies, sliced up chicken on the top. Almost, it almost looked to me disassembled, right? It was all kind of like the elements are there

but she said to me i'm not a caesar salad expert and she said that's exactly what it should be like right so so is that what a caesar salad is supposed to look like so what maxine's talking about that's it and i would i wouldn't say i'm an expert i'd say that i'm i'm a i'm a sort of dedicated fan of the caesar salad i don't't know its ins and outs and all of it, but I've had them multiple times in my life. But if a Caesar salad was down the pub, you'd put an arm around it and you'd say, well done. Yeah, but if me and you were in a restaurant together

and we walked past the table and someone was over the Caesar salad, I could tell you straight away that was a Caesar salad. With even just glancing like that. Yeah, okay. Not even a second, I go to salad but i wouldn't go that's not that's not quite the the brag you're under the impression it is to be honest you can identify dish when you see it okay great so i reckon that's something to tell at parties yeah if there was a dinner party i'd be able to walk around a dinner party and say pretty much

what most people are eating. That's one of the things I'm really, really... If I've had a dish once in my life... So, hold on, let me just stop you there, because this is amazing. So you're able to... I just want to get this completely clarified, because I'm amazed that you're doing comedy on tour when you could be doing this.

So you're able to walk around the table and identify the meals that people are eating on site? No, with a really quick look. Yeah, but look, that doesn't sound much of a brag until you get into the nitty-gritty of it. I would correct you there. It doesn't sound like any kind of brag, to be honest. No, but I would be able to go...

You would be able to identify... I'd be able to go goat's cheese flambé. Goat's cheese? You'd know it's goat's cheese. What is a goat's cheese flambé, by the way? So you'd name dishes that don't exist? Have you never... Actually, no, what? What the fuck is a goat's cheese flambé, by the way. So you'd name dishes that don't exist? Have you never... Actually,

no, what? What the fuck is a goat's cheese flambé? A goat's cheese flambé is actually something, I don't know if I've invented that,

but we've had, I've had, it's basically a bit of goat's cheese, right? And, I mean, you just lightly run

a flame over the top of it, right? Like a bunch of burner flame type thing, right? So it gets all crispy, right? A little bit of burner flame type thing, right? So it gets all crispy. A little bit of oil.

If you want, if it's your way, a little bit of garlic squeezed into it. A little bit of rosemary, a little bit of flame. Make all the flavours mould while I put it on a plate. And yeah, it's a beautiful thing, man. It's really delicious. Isn't flambe, and again, I'm not a connoisseur, and I certainly wouldn't consider myself enough of an expert

to just immediately identify a dish by looking at it. But isn't flambe something that is supposed to be on fire when it arrives at the table? Isn't that what flambe means? Is it? Oh! I don't know. But I always think...

Hold on, let me look this up. Because I'm sure... I just basically call it the goat cheese flambeau, and then I just sort of, I think it sounds cool. Okay, so flambeau means, I've just looked it up, flambeau means covered with spirits and set alight. Okay. Is that what you're doing with your goat's cheese?

No, no, no. I mean, to be fair, I could do that. I could put a little bit of vodka on it and light it. So is it possible to say that when you're at Dinner Pot, you might go, that's goat cheese flambé, and then they say, actually, Tom, that's just goat cheese. There we go. You've identified one of the...

That's grilled goat cheese, Tom. There's not been a flame near that thing. But no, I'll be able to walk around and i'll go i'll penne arrabbiata do you know what i mean i'll sort of know that it's not it's got a bit of a kick to it rather than and that won't be just looking at the dish that would also be looking at the person's face quickly as well i'll look down look down look up and go all right okay and you can do that we could do this together one time we're walking to a restaurant but yeah yeah yeah let's suggest something we're never gonna do yeah so what how would it work

well we go in um probably i'd sort of call you say okay look i found a restaurant we're gonna go uh meet me there at one o'clock you probably go oh can we do a half one it's a real drag for me to get over there okay all right i'll change the table i'd call the restaurant so if you've got a table for half and they said we could do quarter to two i said all right, I'll change the table. I'd call the restaurant and say, have you got a table for half? And they said, we could do quarter to two. I said, all right, call you back. Quarter to two,

okay. Oh yeah, it's great. It puts less pressure on my travel time. So, so the new arrival. I'm just letting you run,

I'm just letting you run with this and seeing how much you enjoy it without my interruption and turns out, fucking loads. So then we, we entered the restaurant to get a side by side.

I said, oh, have you got a table in the back? So we can, like, at the back of the restaurant so we can we entered the restaurant together side by side I said oh have you got a table in the back so we can like at the back of the restaurant so we can walk through the restaurant you know

as we walk through so we can walk through the restaurant yes so we can see all the discs oh I see so discs then

the dishes right as we're walking through you look at me and go go on then big fella and I'm like oh

penne arrabbiata, goat cheese salad, pie and mash, cock-a-pan. What is this fucking restaurant, by the way? I don't know. First of all, they've got a mad menu. Second of all, they seem to be open in 1985. Prawn cocktail. Steak tartare.

It's a very retro restaurant. Chicken. I don't know. Salmon on crew. Fucking hell. And as we're walking through, you're like, oh, fucking hell. Well, yeah, I can see what you're doing now. And then we sit down together. I can see what you're doing now and like then we sit down i can see i can see what you're doing now i mean i i know what it is you're

suggesting and then we sit down looking at dishes uh the way it will go anything you fancy i said well i've already seen all the dishes they will look beautiful um i'll probably go with the seven crew and you'll go bloody hell and then you go just as just as a little you go just as a little warning uh if the meal isn't exactly as I'm expecting I will blow you up on Instagram

and probably bring you to the restaurant let's get to the crux of the story we ordered a salad we've had these salads before the crust flambé

the salad arrives and it's an absolute piece of dog shit it's awful it genuinely looks like it's like it's like throwing up school dinners, right?

Yeah. What was it? What was the description you put on your Instagram? It looks like it's been kicked through a car park. Yeah, no, it looks like it's been shat out of a dishwasher and, uh,

kicked around a park. That's much better than what I said, but anyway, go on. Uh, so then, um, so then I called the restaurant cause I'm like,

uh, yeah, I've sort of been there. I've spoken to him before. I call the restaurant because I'm like, I've sort of been there, I've spoke to them before. I call the restaurant, speak to a very nice girl, but she's like, oh, I'm just serving here. I'll put you on to the manager. So the manager comes on and says, hey, I think there's been a bit of a situation here with the salads. So hold on, hold on, hold on.

Let me just get this timescale right. You've had the meal. No, no, no, I didn't eat it. I could make it. Look, I think it's fair to say. Okay, but what I mean is you've left the restaurant and gone home? No, no, no, no. This is from Deliveroo.

Oh, from Deliveroo. Sorry. Okay, okay. I thought you'd gone to the place. So this is the Deliveroo situation. All right. So then I phone and say, so now I'm on the phone to the manager, and the manager turns around and I say, look, you know,

the chicken Caesar salad isn't really up to expectation it doesn't really feel like it's not i've had this salad many times it's very the lettuce leaves are limp yeah and she said i'm sorry what do you what is it you expect and i said what do you mean and she was like what do you what did you expect i said well i didn't expect limp leaves and like essentially a big mush in a bowl. And she was like, well, um, yeah,

without seeing it, I said, well, I'll send you a picture. And she was like, I don't need a picture. Um, you know,

that, yeah, we're very busy at the moment. That's sort of like, that's, that's how it is. I was like, well,

I can't eat this. It's genuinely disgusting. And she was like, well, um, that's, yeah, that's,

that's your decision not to eat i said no but it's not up to it's just not of a standard that you anyone could eat this so then she turns around and says um i can't remember she said at least she literally was essentially take this up with deliverer it's not our fault so then i was like okay i mean kind of that's kind of she was very very rude so then I was like alright cool then I called

then I tried did you mention just and I believe whatever you say did you mention Wonka no no I didn't

okay no she didn't sound like she sort of ever had much sort of like she wouldn't have enjoyed like a joyful

gadabout kind of comedy she very much seemed like she'd sort of like yeah she't have enjoyed like a joyful gadabout kind of comedy. She very much seemed like she'd sort of like, yeah, she'd like a kitchen sink drama. She sort of did not feel like someone who'd sort of get satisfaction from an inspiring, fun story. Anyhow, I then contacted Deliveroo and they quite quickly told me I can't get a refund because the restaurant won't allow me to.

So then emailed the restaurant. So she says take up with Deliveroo but the restaurant have blocked you getting a refund via Deliveroo so then I'm very hungry at this point I think hunger has taken over a lot of my instincts

I'm not going to I'm hangry I'm very hangry you are one of the sweetest men I've ever met angry i'm very angry yeah i mean really listen you are you are one of the you are one of the sweetest men i've ever met and it's a pleasure and an honor to call you my friend what i would say though is on the brief occasions that i've seen you closest to rage it's been when you haven't had anything to eat for yeah uh i'm not it's not just yeah and look i was about to say

katherine was hangry Catherine was actually bless her trying to like trying to basically say to me let's just we can make something and I

I then just did the thing that you know I was like no I'm just gonna I'll get a pizza which was a ridiculous idea anyhow then I put up the video

on Instagram and then to the credit of the restaurant someone on Instagram messaged me and said, you know, a few hours later, admittedly, and said, look, we're really, really sorry about this. This isn't up to our usual standards.

They've emailed me, and then someone from the, like, main office of the chain called me and was very, very sweet. Hence, that's why I have taken the story down and taken the picture down. I apologise for that. But in the situation, in not a little bit like with your internet i was like how like what what what can you do in a situation now where i've spent a stupid amount of money on like for what

is essentially some leaves and chicken which then now never ever buy again on delivery that's me done with chickens i won't ever buy a salad again from delivery can i can i ask you a question on this uh because you have said to the credit of the restaurant and you've taken the story down but i i think it's fair to say we're you're experiencing uh and i don't mean this is a criticism but you are experiencing a position of privilege right because oh of course yeah if. If you didn't have that number of followers or whatever, if they, you know, if they...

If you didn't have that level of profile, you posting an Instagram story wouldn't have done anything. What's happened is the restaurant... I made this point. And by the way, I'm not... Restaurants,

it's difficult to run restaurants, right? And... Yeah. That shit is a hard industry. But what I would say is the only reason i think it's fair to say that they because you did put a complaint forward and so they knew that the salad was bad and you were met with a dead end right so it's essentially complained three times before i put the story and i will say as well right on the

on this you know and isn't lost on me on the basis that what is a nice restaurant isn't you know the the food from there wasn't you know it's not madly expensive but it's not cheap so essentially if that had been two people who you know i'm now getting a refund because of what we've just discussed but there was a situation where you're like well what if you're in that situation you can't get a refund and you have spent this, that was a really special occasion. That was a birthday or that was something.

And so that's not lost on me. And it is a problem. It seems to be a problem more and more now where, you know, maybe with your score, but the buck is passed. If I'm honest with you, the way that they spoke about a delivery driver was like,

he'd basically done this on purpose I could see that delivery driver had picked it up and literally driven straight to my house right

I could see that it's not a long journey I imagine I can't imagine you took your eyes off the map I mean I'm on the map

you're well aware I'm making sure he's alright but the level of blame and accusation that was let sort of sent towards this poor man who's just delivered the food,

that he'd almost sort of probably driven about 20 miles out of his way just so the lettuce could wilt and then eaten some of the lettuce and then kicked it around the fucking park was pretty fucking... Ace Venturista. ...pretty bad.

Yeah. So I think there's... Ace Venturista, that's a great reference. Thank you. Yeah. yeah so I think there's there's a great reference thank you yeah but then also I am now in a situation where I do I've had to look at myself a little bit

there and go that was not I shouldn't have fucking posted that I feel like it's one of those things in life a life lesson of going I try to use social media try to be a very positive person in my life as best i can tiredness a little bit of grouchiness hanger all took over in that situation yeah i had to look at my behavior within this whole thing and i feel

a bit like i think it's by the way i don't think i don't think there's anything look i mean you regret posting the story or whatever but like i don't know i regret name it i shouldn't have named the restaurant okay it's fine to put a picture up i shouldn't have added them i don't think that's cool i don't think i think i think that i've let myself down a little bit there if i'm honest with you i don't think that's cool behavior i don't think that's reasonable behavior and i don't agree with what i've done there. and put towards your first home. With Questrade, you can open an FHSA online. No bank appointment needed. It's easy and only takes a few minutes. The sooner you get started, the more time your down payment has to grow.

Open an account today at Questrade.com. Whoa, what are you listening to this for? Wait, who's talking? You know you're driving a 2024 Ford Escape with available Alexa built in, so you can change the music. Oh yeah, Alexa, change station to 99.2. See? Purchase a 2024 Escape ST-Line all-wheel drive with Tech Pack at 3.49% APR for 72 months with down payment. That's just $267 bi-weekly. Cash value of $40,294.

Plus, eligible Ford owners get a $1,000 bonus. For details, visit your local Ford store or Ford.ca. Best Western made booking our family beach vacation a breeze. And it felt a little like... Good night, kids. Good night, Mama. Life's a trip. Make the most of it at Best Western. Can I present a counter-argument, if that's possible?

Yes. There is an argument. I'm not saying it's watertight, but there is an argument that that salad might have been going out to all sorts of customers, and by highlighting it and raising it as a problem, you have actually benefited people who order the Caesar salad from that restaurant in the future.

And maybe going forward, they sort it out. I do find when you complain to someone, I'll always try and give constructive criticism. The manageress who I spoke to, the level of black... She never once really apologised for quite how rude she was on the phone, which, to be fair, actually, sat her aside and everything. If she'd just gone, I'm really, really sorry about that,

let's see what we can do to make this right, on the first call, or, you know what, we're really busy at the moment, let me call you back in an hour. If she'd just done that, that would have been fine. But the level of, like, from the delivery driver to a chef that she named, to the people who... But it was constantly just other people's fault yeah that's what that's what did you did you did you at any point say uh i checked your

instagram before you you will rue the day that you spoke to me like this or anything like that did you issue a kind of a threat of many names no no no no okay no i'm in a very my behaviour around this was yeah the Instagram story then I got like a sport little baby and I ordered a pizza which was the worst thing

I could have eaten because yeah it actually ruined the rest of the day for me but I can't because I'm so I don't think I can eat pizza anymore

yeah fuck me what do you mean I was gigging in the evening yeah like I just don't think i don't think i can digest pizzas i think pizza i think i don't know whether it's age or whether i've just eaten too many in my life uh and now it's like i like my body is like no no no

it's like i have a dormant at my throat saying we're gonna let them in this one last time but they're fucking troublemakers and my stomach's a knife are we talking are we talking shits oh we're talking shits we're talking about a vote like like literally feeling like you know you eat some food right and you're like i can feel every fucking gram of this food in my gut right now it's sitting in me. And then I had a gig in the evening and I felt that that pizza was literally just, yeah, I'd say it was a double act. It was me and the pizza. I'd say, yeah, to everyone who came to Cheltenham

of that evening. You were full of pizza. Yeah, thank you for bearing with me. Thank you for being an incredible audience. But yeah, I think the pizza, I'd essentially say, was the worst heckler I've ever had in all of my years of comedy did you announce this on stage yeah yeah and i i i don't have the i don't know about you right i don't have the ability not to reference things that are going on in my body in my mind during the gig i don't have the ability just to

but just just to go start let's weather the storm. Let's just not mention it. Let's fucking be strong and get through this. I have to basically acknowledge everything that's going on on stage. I don't know if we do exactly the same, but I can tell you that I did Basingstoke last night and I said something so dark and depressing in the moment that I actually paused the show. I just sort of looked off to the side for a moment to think about what I'd actually admitted out loud and then I had to like you know sometimes when you do it a bit and you just start I just started carrying on like

saying stuff that I was thinking and then yeah in the moment I thought I've shared I've really fucking overshared there and then I just looked I think I just looked off to the side and had a moment and then I realised it had been a moment without me talking and I had to tell the audience I was reflecting on what I just talked about It's fucking insane

like it's an insane yeah I overshared I think so everyone who came toeltenham and there was any lovely audience of people but yeah it was uh yeah that pizza and and it just i spent the whole drive home regretting all the decisions i've made i was like you know every sunday this has been a fucking idiot show well i can i can uh share some similar errors if you'd like uh i don't know i'm talking i'm talking so formally today what the fuck's going on with, if you'd like. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm talking so formally today.

What the fuck's going on? You are like a Batman. Anyway. Yeah, it's bizarre. I'm sat like a Batman. You're like Alfred from Batman. You've really got like an Alfred from Batman energy here. Yeah, that's true.

Like Michael Caine's version. Yeah. When will you get married, sir? That would be a film we could remake I could be Batman and you could be like Alfred do you know what it would really be my dream role

to be your butler in something and you're Batman are you yeah yeah yeah it's a very different style of playboy I think you'd be playing sort of Bruce Wayne meets Brent

but um I uh I actually love that idea that's a fucking cool idea Bruce Wayne meets Brent. I actually love that idea. That's a fucking cool idea. Bruce Wayne meets Brent. It's actually quite a good idea for like, that's actually quite a nice little like parody thing. Do you know what I mean?

Where are you going? Or we just play it straight and just play it straight and have all the DC fans fucking up in arms that we've really fucked with Batman. You be like, where are you going, Mr. Wayne? There's a place around the corner that's not giving me the chicken salad

I think I deserve or the one that I need. But Mr. Wayne, they're coming for us. Just give me five minutes. Let me sort out this salad, Alfred. That could be quite cool. There's an issue.

There's an issue with the salad. Sorry, I don't know what's going on. My voice there. There's an issue with the salad and I'm fucking hanging I'm going to go sort it out no on the

I did Cheltenham Friday Saturday on the Friday I ate from a great Sri Lankan restaurant Coconut Tree but I ate

a lot of food and this is good this will give you anxiety even hearing about this I finished my meal at 7.15. What? On stage at 8.

That is insane, bro. It's bad, isn't it? Yeah. I know, I know, I know. I've like a half six cut off and this sounds to people insane. It's a 45 minute difference but it's like days of difference.

It's a big difference. Yeah. It's a big difference yeah because you can't big difference you can't get a big pre-show dump out then right that nervous anxiety poo no i i've actually moved away from pre-show dumps as a thing really yeah yeah i try and time my system so that's not happening also what i would say i mean this is disgusting but that's not happening. Also, what I would say,

I mean, this is disgusting, but not all venues are pre-show dump suitable, I would say. No. Also, I tend to share a changing room with the support act now.

And yeah, so using the toilet with, sometimes be, your brother's very open-minded, quite chilled about it, but yeah, other people aren't as gracious. I imagine he sits in with you and continues the pep talk as you're sort of going through your bm

no lean on the door outside yeah yeah um giving you notes like a cowboy watching a gunfight but doesn't want to get involved um and then i did i did something yesterday which I'm going to be honest with you slightly panicked me and I'm going to say now it's the last time I ever do it because I've done this before and it's got me into a lot of trouble sort of

digestive wise and health wise but I got in last night and ate quite a lot of food and that was at like 11 quarter past 11 at night and I didn't want to wake up the dogs.

So I didn't want to switch the TV on. So I went in, I made the meal as quietly as possible. And then I just sat. What meal were you talking, what did you make? I made like a massive sandwich. And I've got a massive, this is really tragic. I've got a big bag of marshmallows and I ate about six of those after the sandwich.

Wow, Jesus. And when I say six, you know that it was actually 12. Yeah, 12 to 15. And I just sort of sat eating silently sandwich into the mouth as I watched The Office on my phone because I don't want to wake anyone up. Why would you watch The American Office or the English one? American.

Wow. What would you mean? What difference does that make? No, I just think it's a weird thing to watch the British office on your phone. No, no. Well, I constantly am at some point through the American office. Yeah, it's amazing.

The English office is amazing. I just always think it's really worth it. It's really great. The only thing the British office is, it's only two series, so you can't keep rotating. So I always think that's TV viewing. That's like you can't have got to be special,

make it special, watch it on a TV. Really, the American office has got more of a sort of like constructed soap to it that you can jump in and out of. Anyway, I'm declaring to the wolves and owls that I will never do that again. You've got to be really careful of that, man. Yeah, I know. How was your guts in the night?

Guts were fine in the night thank you but I do I very that's the first time in about I'm not exaggerating first time

in about a year that I've gone to bed with like a stomach that full it was bad yeah I would say that with the pizza

you know like when you watch a disaster movie or a horror film and like the end like sort of like you know and then you sort of see like I don't know like you know like when you watch a disaster movie or a horror film and like the end like sort of like you know and then you sort of see like

I don't know like you know you see the sort of town that's been hit by the sort of like hurricane you see sort of

like the people of the town coming out and start rebuilding it and sort of like this is really heading towards

something quite disgusting but anyway go on no no that's how I feel now about myself I feel like

hopefully the storm is over with my stomach I was just so nervous that I was heading towards the toilet description to be honest with you

but thank god we dodged that um yeah no god forbid god forbid what else has been going on in your life

big dog well I'm uh I nearly got run over at the weekend. That's another thing that happened to me. Where, where, where? In Cheltenham. Cheltenham? On the Saturday morning, I went for a little run.

Yeah. And... Beautiful city, Cheltenham, right? Very nice. I mean, I didn't go into the town. I sort of went away from the town uh around the park um anyway i did a run but as i started i sort of had my hood up i kind of didn't want to get recognized so i had my hood up not because i don't want to talk to people because

my running style is not conducive to uh compliments is what i don't know why I always think you run like Phoebe from Friends no I knew I knew you were going to say that why do you have to be like this anyway no no I know I know I know

I know I don't know why I can just literally close my eyes and picture you running just like Phoebe from Friends oh can you do me a favour can you do me a favour

do a video of you running like Phoebe from Friends that would actually be a you could put it on TikTok and Instagram you'd get fucking loads of views Oh, can you do me a favour? Can you do me a favour? Do a video of you running like Phoebe from Friends. That would actually be a fun... You could put it on TikTok and Instagram. You'd get fucking loads of views. Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be taking TikTok tips from you, my guy. But what I would say is... LAUGHTER

Oh, please do that video. If we get 1,000 emails in asking asking would you do it for charity for charity? who the fuck's going to sponsor me to do that? I'll give some money to Calm if you do that for me look at the way your arse went immediately

when you're about to quote an amount of money then you shat yourself well I'm just thinking how much it's worth but then I will get a lot of satisfaction out of it and I think it can make a lot of people really happy if you think what romeo should do the phoebe run um we'll put a poll up jt put a poll up at the wolf and out if you think um what i should do the ph Phoebe run for charity, oh, you know what could be really cool, right? Is you do the

Phoebe run, right? And it's called Romesh's Big Phoebe Run and you've got to do it for like a mile. And then as it grows, other people come and do the Phoebe run with you. It could be like you and Jessie J doing the Phoebe run together. Yeah, okay. Let's just see

how that goes. Anyway, I was running you Al Murray Jesse J Reece Witherspoon obviously

had to get Vernon Kay in what did he do 100 did he do 100 did he do

did he do 100 he did 100 Vernon's an amazing runner mate yeah

Vernon's fucking smash runner and he's doing he's doing high rocks as well is he yeah

I'm slightly nervous about it imagine if you did your Phoebe runner high rocks oh my god well I'm waiting for Vernon to do his high rocks

in about half the time it's going to be very yeah of course Vernon will smash it he's so fit isn't he he is incredibly fit so fit yeah

Vernon is one of the only people I I was once years many years ago having having a dinner with a group of

other people in our profession in a restaurant Jesus what an insane way of describing that evening but anyway go on

and Vernon K walked in and I've never heard this before one of the people we were with an actress turned around and went

he is so fit I would fucking ruin him oh my god I've never heard that said before be honest with me

and I won't get embarrassed how many times have you heard that said about me what are you laughing at my mate said it.

Actually, can you beep his name JT? One of my mates has actually got a bit of a crush on you. I thought you were joking. No, no, one of my mates has got a crush on you genuinely he finds you very attractive but just literally

once was he actually once was really like trying to sell the fact that him and you could get together I was like he's very happily married

I don't think that's going to happen he got quite upset about it did he see any obstacles to that did he see any obstacles to that? Did he see any obstacles to that happening? Yeah, I mean, there was quite a few, but yeah. He genuinely has got like a fucking insane crush on you.

It's mad. Like to the point, like, look, I think you're an attractive guy. I can see why someone would find you very attractive. He finds you like, like, I would say I've never, ever been out of him in the last eight years. And at some point when he's had a few drinks he's not told me some sort of fantasy he's got about you

like serious like yeah I mean I could get him to write a few down anyway well listen we should get him to do some fan fiction and then we can read out

something anyway let's go back to the story just quickly if you want to see Romesh's Big Phoebe run

get in touch with the podcast through email or through our Instagram page yeah okay the running over story

so I leave the hotel I've got my hood up I'm sort of starting my run how long are you doing that run wise what are you doing like 5k

I did 10k wow Jesus man so I so I started the run and I get to a road and basically I'm not wearing glasses

I have got like I have got sports sunglasses right that are prescription running goggles I have got sports sunglasses, right, that are prescription. Running goggles. Are they wrap-round shades?

Are they wrap-rounds? Oh. Okay. Okay, my guy going out in his wrap-round. His wrap-rounds. oh oh oh okay okay my guy going out in his rat round his rat rounds Lisa Lisa

you see my rat round stand for a run I'm going to go do a 10k why don't you just wear your normal song no I need all round protection

you don't understand something are coming from the sides. A piece of grit. You've seen the speed that I run at. Head first in a bush. Anyway, I didn't wear them. I did, basically, in my mind's eye,

as I got them out of my bag, I saw that face that you just did when I told you about them. And I put them back in the bag and just ran without them. And what that meant was that I was essentially sort of partially sighted as i did my run i approached the road and um i just didn't see this car coming from when he was driving i say driving fast you know like normal residential i will say this actually i did notice in cheltenham that there's a lot of fast driving going on i I saw at least seven, maybe 12 fast cars. Okay.

So thank you for that. That's adding a little bit of seasoning to the story. So I get to the road and the car comes up and I have to like, I'm sort of midway across the road as it approaches. So I sort of put my hand up to say sorry and carry on jogging, right? And then that car pulls round and then up onto a driveway in front of me. Wow. As in, like, they overtake me and then pull in.

But I think they live there, right? Oh, okay, okay. So I then jog past, and as I jog past, the kid in the back of the car rolls down his window and starts sort of shouting abuse at me as I go past the house. Oh, my God. What sort of abuse? I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know what... I don't know if the kid was working independently or the dad had said, or mum had said, I didn't see who was driving, had said, what a fucking... What an idiot. Blah, blah, blah.

Give him a bit of shit or whatever. Or the kid had just done it independently. He might have said, what an idiot. And then the kid had tried to show off in front of them and open the window I don't know yeah possibly

but what I can say is I managed to I managed to get heckled on my run before the show oh my god and you know what that would have

I wonder did they know who you were did they clock who you were don't think so okay just thought you were

a jogger right yeah I mean that would that would have probably that would have given them a good day like a good laugh most of the day in a way they'd have been like yeah and uh the other thing was is that um i i sort of i as i did as i ran past and the kid gave me abuse i didn't i i don't i would never get my kids to abuse somebody like that. And I don't know if he did that. He might have got a bollocking after I'd gone past for doing that. But what I would say is if I'd have been the driver in that position,

I would have been pissed off because it was my fault. Do you know what I mean? Let's say it's my fault. It was a mistake. So you think the driver's probably clutching the steering wheel sort of still at that moment, just going. Yeah,

they would have panicked, right? Because, and I was in all black as well, which is an idea. Oh, were you? I mean,

I look like a burglar. What time of the morning was it? It wasn't dark. It wasn't dark. It was like 11 o'clock or something. Oh, okay. Yeah.

I thought you were talking like you're out for a run at 5am. I was going to say, all black, you're asking for problems. No, but what's probably happened is they've got very very very panicked they've gone christ my life just flashed behind in front of my eyes that was so frightening what is that blooming jogger thinking i think i think by the way i think when it flashes before your eyes that's much more frightening when it flashes behind you because that's what you said initially isn't it yeah yeah yeah yeah i i'm a mate i'm always amazed when people notice that i mean when people had a near-death experience and my life flashed behind my head somebody else

had to tell me actually because i didn't see it was behind wait mate your life just flashing behind your head that's you as a kid where I can't see turn around yeah but then the whole cinema turns around as well that's your first kiss hey I just got us

a new Coca-Cola spice nice what's it taste like? It's like barefoot water skiing while dolphins click with glee. Whoa, let me try. Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola through waving waters as a mermaid sings. Nah, it's like Coca-Cola with a refreshing burst of raspberry and spiced flavors. Yeah.

Try new Coca-Cola Spiced today. Only got small amounts of time but want big amounts of flavor? Knorr has got you. Our new Knorr rice cups deliver all the taste without the prep or wait time. We're talking yummy, creamy, hearty goodness. Choose from loads of delicious, more-ish flavors flavors ready in only two and a half minutes. It's not cup food. It's good food in a cup.

Visit Kenora.com to learn more. So let's be clear. When it comes to shipping internationally, can I provide trade documents electronically? The answer is FedEx. Okay. But what about estimating duties and taxes on my shipments? How do I find all the... Also FedEx.

Impressive. Is there a regulatory specialist I can ask about? FedEx. Oh. But let's say that... FedEx. What? FedEx.

Thanks. No more questions. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx. Where now meets next. Always your answer for international shipping. FedEx, where now meets next. But anyway, if that driver, if by chance that driver happens to be,

or the child happens to be a listener of The Wolf and Owl, I would just like to offer my humblest apologies for my lack of road safety. Well, I was going to apologise, but then what happened is when the kids started ab abusing me i couldn't quite hear what was being said because i had earphones in oh so i sort of i knew it was i knew it was negative how did you all right though could you see their face you could see the face and the way he was leaning out the window and i could get i could grab it was a child if you don't mind me asking it didn't it didn't suggest that he was saying i really enjoyed your stuff as the neighbor in king gary i didn't feel that how old was the child, if you don't mind me asking? It didn't suggest that he was saying, I really enjoyed your stuff as the neighbour in King Garry. I didn't feel that was what was being shouted at.

How old was the child, if you don't mind me inquiring? No, I don't mind you inquiring. It'd be a weird objection. I think about 10, 9 or 10. Yeah. Yeah, just finding that little inner anger at that age. Yeah. Also seeking approval from their parents or parent in the car i mean it

could be two ways the parent could have gone hey that's wrong you do not speak like that or they could have been yeah oh god i just nearly hit a jogger but lucky enough keitha fucking gave him what for yeah in my yeah i find it hard i find it almost impossible to believe that there is any 10 year old in the country called keith no keith keith as in like the kids being named after keith oh okay it's been named after keith the southern named after who keith the southern well it wouldn't be named because you if you wanted to name your kid after him you call not keitha so his name is keitha his name is not keitha southern keitha sutherland as in added a bit onto keith keitha this whole time you've thought his name is keitha as in like you're quite keith but he's keitha that's yeah i've been like you're like you're quite Keith but he's Keither like that that's yeah you're not

you're not as Keith as he is he's Keither than you like that no so oh my god I literally over probably the last

two or three years in pitching an idea that we've been pitching have fuck off I swear referenced quite a number of times and gone

obviously one of the biggest inspirations for this is Keitha Sutherland in 24. That as a show. Have any of those projects come off? No. Well, it's one project. I'm not going in there with numerous ideas. So, yeah.

Yeah, this sort of... So, the other Keitha Sutherland idea... This, this sort of... So, the other Kiefer Sutherland I do... This one's sort of... Do you remember Kiefer Sutherland in Young Guns? So, it's Kiefer. I thought it was Kiefer. Kiefer. Kiefer.

Kiefer Sutherland. Oh, for fuck's sake. Yeah, that's bad. I think if I was sat in a position of, like, being able to make a show, and somebody came in, and even if they gave me a really good pitch, but they kept referring to him as Keith, a Sutherland, I'd go,

I don't think we can wait. It's absolutely insane. I swear to my, somebody's gone wrong here, but you, you would have been in these with the front, right? Yeah.

The front, not correction. No, he's never, no, but then maybe he thinks it's Keith. Yeah. Maybe he does as well.

Or he's just like, oh, for fuck's sake. I can't tell him you know this is because he's I really enjoy him as an actor

I love him in Young Guns he's brilliant yeah I don't think that takes away a few enjoyment I loved him in Lost Boys yeah he's great in Lost Boys and I actually like

his dad Donald as well they're only noodles Michael I love that film actually you know one of my favourites Stand By Me he's amazing isn't he

yeah great film he plays the big bully in Stand By Me did you ever watch the credits at the end of any of those films no yeah but I don't

read the names I listen to the music sometimes close my eyes and just take in how good the film was yeah I don't sit there studying

how long at the end yeah how long at the end of a film in the cinema do you stay usually to the end of the credits because the right to the end well no not the end yeah but to the end of the credits the right to the

end well no not the end yeah but for a lot of the credits sometimes I hop up quite quickly if I if I've got through the whole like film

without having a piss I'll probably jump up quite quickly and go to the toilet yeah I mean at Wonka when we went to watch Wonka you

got up as soon as your name had flashed up and you went up I think I remember you saying I don't I don't care about any of these other

fucks and then you just got up well to be fair I know that you're joking but my name was last on the credit roll so my anxiety when I was watching that I think it was below assistant grip wasn't it when we were watching that at the beginning of the movie

bless my wife and all of the other actors name was coming up at the start I think the last name mentioned so I was genuinely sitting there bless my wife and all of the other actors name was coming up at the start was what I think the last name mentioned right so I was genuinely

sitting there I don't think I think you're making this up no I swear go and watch it go and watch Wonka I swear I've watched it mate

I've watched it three times and I was sitting there and I could see Catherine thinking oh he's going he's going into an anxious hole now where he thinks

he's been cut from the movie because his name's not come off on the fucking pre-show credits and then when it came up she touched my arm and she was like

oh there it is oh yeah I I have got a bit of a situation now because um

with both you actually and Martin T Smooth who's my tour DJ right uh where my children genuinely

hero worship you and Martin and don't give a shiny shit about me that is a situation I'm in now yeah but you know what my nephew's obsessed with you

like so I think he's not called **** is he he's not called **** is he no he's not called ****

he's 10 called ****. He's ten. Just come and have a... What's he been watching? How does he get these ideas? He's been saying this stuff since he was two. he's been saying this stuff since he was two it's weird that my 10 year old nephew is grooming my 45 year old best friend my nephew tells everyone that he knows

he'll say my uncle Tom's an actor he's actually friends with Ramesh. So, yeah, but, but that, that is very sweet, and I would say,

thank you, that's really, really cute, but, what I, genuinely, when we went to watch Wonka with the boys, they were walking out going,

I can't believe you're friends with Tom, it's so amazing that you're friends, wasn't he brilliant in that film, it's so amazing that you're friends with him, and in that film it's so amazing that you're friends with him and then like a similar thing happened with Theo because Martin

has just done a club night with Bruno Mars in Japan right where like Bruno Mars did like a little

after party and Martin was DJing for him and there's this like Instagram story do you know like when I did the Instagram story

that you got a lot of mileage out of me basically doing a Bacardi advert and I was dancing and shit like that? Yeah, which I still to this day wish was out there in ether. Yeah, well, it's still available, but not to the public. But Martin posted a similar video where Bruno Mars is next to him. Martin cuts in a tune and Bruno Mars loses his shit, right? Theo's following Martin on Instagram. Yeah.

And when that happened, just went, I can't believe that's Martin that supports you. Actually, he was in disbelief that Martin's on my tour because of what he saw. Can I just say, by the way? Yeah. Like, on Martin, he's like, you know when you meet someone and you're like...

Like, this guy is just... Because he is so lovely, humble, gracious. Like, I FaceTimed... Me and Graz FaceTimed the other day, and Martin and lovely Dennis were... But Martin, he sort of turned the phone and said, oh, say hello to the boys. Martin was just sort of getting ready for your tour support,

getting the decks ready or whatever I looked at him and I was like you're so fucking cool man he had a beanie hat when I wear a beanie hat I look like

Benny from Crossroads right he's got a beanie hat Martin Too Smooth could wear a beanie hat to a formal event Martin Too Smooth could wear a beanie

to a funeral and still look like the coolest person still look the best coolest person above that he's just such a lovely human being

he's like a real credit to all of us I literally was like the amount of times

where he sent me a nice message or if I've put up anything where I'm feeling a

bit low he's such a good person he really is. He's one of the good guys in life. Oh, Jesus Christ. And he says the same stuff about you. I've now got this

situation where my kids hear I worship the two of you and you fucking hear I worship each other. It's disgusting, the situation. I find myself... You know what? If you did a big Phoebe run, you could be the person that we all envy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's that's that's what's going to get me back in my kids good graces um good graces fucking hell

um all right tom it's about that time right it's phoebe time oh fuck you know what what if we really grow this thing what could be amazing is we get Lisa Kudrow to do, like, the sort of 2025 or the 2031. Yeah. And it's you and Phoebe. Like, you're both dressed as Phoebe from Friends, and you do it together. Yeah, yeah. Actually, in many ways. Sometimes, you know when you're doing stuff and you think, I wonder what the end game is here.

You've just identified it for me. Thank you. Oh, I absolutely adore you sir right do you want to take us out tomo let's do it yo magic wands harry potter the sparkle that you see when a trick is performed. Actually, sometimes the magic doesn't come from a guy walking around a low-grade 21st birthday with a deck of cards that he can hide in his butt. No, sometimes magic comes from other places. It comes from a kind word or an arm around the shoulder of a stranger.

It comes from a friend reaching out you haven't heard from in a while. It's a feeling that, yeah, you don't need a big trick, but the outcome's the same the outcome is i guess surprise huh i didn't expect that that's what i wasn't expecting out of today so here's a little recommendation for you i'm not saying you have to buy a book on magic tricks nay a wand friend i'm saying today reach out send a text to someone you haven't spoken to for a while reach out and say hey how you doing because you know what the person you send it to go will go wow that's like when i saw dynamite hide an ace of clubs in his sleeve i wasn't expecting that

and that is the biggest trick of all um another great one can i just say two things off the back of that one that um i think that's great advice like texting someone reaching out to someone is great it's a great thing to do and secondly i do want to take this opportunity to say i've been having a bit of a tough time like over the last few days for whatever reason i won't go into details but tom davis you have been you've been unbelievable man and i just want to thank you on this man you like you're genuinely you genuinely have been uh i'm just i'm just very lucky to have you in my life man so i just want to say thank you very much you're publicly you're an incredible person well the feeling's very much mutual sir i feel that yeah yeah i feel that you're not just like a friend anymore i feel that you're a guy who's moved

into my heart and taking up quite a big loft space and i hope you know it's difficult i would say it's difficult to move into the heart when i'm not allowed into your house but and this is why I enjoy you friend thank you so much for listening to the pod we'll see you next time one love

oh sorry JT can you play us out with one of my favourite songs that I've been listening to recently it's by Thundercat it's called

Dragon Ball Do-Rag and I absolutely love it see you next time guys peace out I'm trying to impress you, girl. Let me know how do I look in my new rag. I'm trying to get intimate. Let me love you like you've never been before, baby. if you have a problem opinion feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com that's wolfalpod at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you mainly because we don't have any content ideas thank you