Wolf and Owl - S3 Ep 64: Christmas Jumpers In Arizona

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

With Rom out filming in Arizona, it’s a transatlantic episode of the pod this week. And we’re talking… lots and lots of Christmas jumpers, seriously overpacking, loving crumpets in winter, having your bum pinched, Tom guesting on Kathy Burkes live podcast, our Christmas show at Ally Pally, falling over in Jack Whitehall’s new film, arrogant huskies, F1 toilet breaks, sauna conversations and a rather awkward listener’s email about pâté. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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See our charity's impact at ymcagta.org slash charity. ["Beeck or Jaws?" by The YMCA plays.] Yo, yo what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served

Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff and puff and a h-

Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog to the wolf and the owl the podcast that warms the soul gets you feeling good for what life's got in store yes um it's another international jobby job. You're over in the United States of the USA. Yeah. American ROM.

Yeah. How is the vibe out there, my friend? Mate, so I'm in a place called Scottsdale. Scottsdale is, I've always wanted to go to Scottsdale. Why? Mate, all joking aside, right? What is Scottsdale? I've heard of Scottsdale, I can't, where?

It's in Phoenix, or it's the suburb of Phoenix? Isn't that in Trades Plains? Is it? I swear they end up in Scottsdale. I swear, two secs. I don't know, it's where Evel Knievel's from. Oh, okay, fine. Scottsdale runs deep. Are you in a motel?

I'm in a hotel, but it's not a great hotel. I mean, it's not bad, but like it's not. That wall looks like it's like a one big argument be honest with you. I mean, it's not bad, but like it's not. That wall looks like it's like a one big argument away from just sort of like you, you know, someone coming through it. Well, like it's, what's weird out here is it's so, it's not hot, but it's like 20s, so pretty hot. But they go, they've gone big on Christmas.

Like this hotel, the whole lobby's full of like inflatable centers, massive trees. And we went out for dinner the other night after filming. And everybody in Scottsdale goes out in Christmas jumpers. Really? I can't believe that. Yeah, it's like they go big on it, man. Have you got a Christmas jumper with you?

No, and we're supposed to be doing, on rap, we're supposed to be doing a little Christmas get together and I've fucked it. I haven't told anybody yet, but I've not got a Christmas jumper. Well, you easily get one if Scottsdale, if everyone's wearing them, you'll be able to get one. Yeah, that's a good point. Or you just ask if you can borrow one. Yeah, you know what you should say is this, hey bud, any chance I could borrow that little jumper you got on your back there? I don't think I'd ask to borrow a jumper that

somebody's wearing. But yeah I might buy one but I'm trying I'm actually trying to be I'm actually this is so boring now I'm trying to buy less shit. I think buying stuff is Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was me go like you're buying this shit I I just think we're buying a sweet fucking nice looking Christmas jumper that literally that would just do you for the next 10-15 yeah but I've got a classic one yeah but I've got loads of Christmas jumpers at home so why am I buying another one just for the sake of I would say but I think you're naive to be going out filming over Christmas and not take a Christmas jumper. Tom I'm not denying it's a mistake. Have you only got hand language? I know you travel with that massive case. Yeah I have

brought a big suitcase yeah but I just forgot. You've got to be so fucking honest. Also for all of the traveling I've done, oh hello, for all the traveling I've done I've not got any better at packing. There's like four pairs of trousers in there that I've not got to wear by the time I got out trousers. I just I just always overdo it on the going out stuff. And like most people go should we go out for dinner and then they just wear whatever they've been wearing for the shit. And then I'm like, I'm gonna go get into my

specially. You're ready for a meal with the Kardashians. Yeah, and then I turned up and then like, like last night happened. I got dressed and they came down everyone's like, you okay, we're just going we're just going for a Mexican like literally it's across the road from the hotel I don't know what you think's gonna happen tonight I'm really fucking reaming out like fucking Scottsdale. Yeah, you're like the fucking hottest piece of arson Scottsdale I'm not actually I just really frustrated me. I don't know where Scottsdale's from. It's in Phoenix Oh, well, you don't know what film it's from? No, no. It's from a film.

Mmm. Yeah. Mate, please tell me you're watching loads of Christmas movies, like American Christmas movies while you're there. No, I haven't watched a single one actually. Mate, they'll feel even more Christmassy and more American because you are in America, mate. Yeah, that's a good point. I might do that tonight actually. Do you know what? Normally I dismiss your little suggestions,

but actually it's one of the best things you've ever said. You could have actually just sit there and fucking feel like... I'm going to get myself a little Santa hat, I'm going to sit down with a warm cup of cocoa, watch some Christmas movies. Do you know what I've got really into this winter season? Crumpets. Crumpets are delicious. Okay, I thought I thought it's a delicious let me let me let me just say color me unsurprised. It's a food item So why have you really gone to crime? I just think they're so delicious about yeah as the sort of as a son sort of like, you know Buries down is to beat a brow and the moon comes into action and the darkness falls

It's not fucking great about a rebound mean you can have buttery and obviously, yeah that's not going on Lerpac. By the way, do you know about Lerpac? You okay? Do you wanna know about Lerpac? Yeah, Lerpac's basically. Don't tell me, Lerpac was at one of the Diddy parties. No, no, no, no.

Yeah, we have to be careful about who's at those fucking Diddy parties, because you could be losing a lot of fucking, of your big fucking idols. Oh no, mate, I mean, it's Jay-Z thing is fucking what the fuck. I don't listen to 99 problems anymore. Dear God. I don't think you can. I don't think you can listen to that.

Yeah, he's issued a rebuttal hasn't he? Of course he has. Yeah. He's basically just been called a fucking nonce. Yeah. You ought to do something about it. It's fucking horrible. I couldn't even read the article.

I felt so sick. I know. But I mean, it's possible that he could have just gone. Yeah. Yeah, it was me. I was there if anything I'd him on Snoop's got me loving this. I know Snoop minor got involved. I can't imagine Dra's got no cause mate all those guys are fucking staunch guys Yeah around that time. It's very very West Coast East Coast Yeah, but I've seen Kanye's in a bit of shit as well. I mean, it's very very West Coast East Coast yeah but I've seen Kanye's in a bit of shit as well I mean it's I mean don't give me he's always I mean listen let's be honest Kanye hasn't completely kept his nose clean up

to this point but but anyway what's he done now Kanye but an ex-employee has said that he sent explicit text or something it's like pretty but there's a couple of things I've read that are really bad so let's see what happens but you add to all that Gino De Campo yeah I know I mean what is exactly the deal with Gino he's been ousted by ITV is that what they're saying? I think he's been showing his bum and stuff quite a lot and like just being I mean if you've ever done it I mean I have done a show with you and you know the campo and like yeah I think it's fair to say everything you said was yeah but his behavior was fairly okay was okay

wasn't it? I mean we can't. Yeah yeah yeah he didn't show his bum to anyone on set. Do you worry based on by the way I'm not suggesting you've done anything untoward but based on sort of how close to the edge some of your behavior on King Gary was you worry that? Somebody might have been separate something you've done Really? No, I think I've always I think I've always been stupid. Hmm, but I've no Can you tell me hand-on-heart that nobody on King Gary saw your bum for example No, I don't fucking would I think anyone would see my bum unless it was a scene where I have it out I'm so fucking paranoid. Well, I've got a disgusting fat old hairy ass I don't think anyone would have seen my bum. Unless it was a scene where I had to have it out.

I was so fucking paranoid. I've got a disgusting fat old hairy ass. Actually, I haven't really got a bum. It's just fat, but it's not fat. Do you know what I mean? It's flat, but fat. It's one of the things I'm most fucking anxious at. I'd love to slap you on the bum.

Could we do it? This is this behavior from you. I told you that that person at those awards the other day I was doing that hosting some awards with someone grabbed my ass Yeah, that's happened to me quite a few times at those things the people get so creepy I know horrible people are drunk and they and they just I think a lot of the time Did you see that thing? Who was it? It was oh it was What's her name?

Casey Musgraves, I think it is Who's that? She's a country singer let me just I don't I'm very nervous I've got the name wrong here just bear with me on second I don't want to offend the country. Yeah it's Casey Musgraves she's a country singer she was walking like she was doing this thing where I don't know what it was at some event she's walking through the crowd there's like a little aisle between two stands and she's walking along the thing and like talking to the crowd, like you know singing, like looking to the crowd and one of them just pulls her hair. I think goes to pull her arm but pulls her hair and obviously it looks so, it's obviously completely off

key and she looks pissed off rightly so, understandably so. But I think in those situations what is happening and I'm not saying it's right, but people are just like, oh, I'm seeing a famous person. I want to grab them or touch them or whatever. I think that happens. I know we're not on the same level, but I do feel sometimes people behave in a really odd way. Do you know what I mean?

They sort of think I'm not going to be next to this person again. Well, my school of thought with that, in the scenario I was in, was it was like someone just completely trying to emasculate me, like just do it as a show of power. It didn't feel, it felt like them just being like fucking, it was just such a weird fucking thing to do. Yeah. And so- What was your reaction?

I was fucking shocked. I was on proper shock. I was like, what the fuck? It wasn't like a little pit, it was like a real grab. And I'm like, what just happened? And then they were just a bit fucking horrible when they responded, they were cocky about it after. I was just like, wow, that's a...

And then obviously, I didn't go to the mic and say anything. I was just a bit thrown about the whole thing. It's really tricky that, because I've had, I think I've talked about it before in the podcast, but I've been like, I had somebody while I was on stage just repeatedly kind of racially abused me like yeah but to a point where only he and I could hear what he was saying and like it's a similar thing to what happened to you in terms of like not everybody is seat or is aware that that's happened and as soon

as you acknowledge that or draw attention to it, you've basically killed the night. Do you know what I mean? Like in terms of injecting so much tension into it. But then you're in a situation, because one of the people at your event had noticed it. And when I came off, they said, like, did that happen?

Did that happen? What I saw essentially happen? Because you can't say anything, I've still got an hour of fucking awards to present. And then I felt quite thrown by it, so for the next couple I was a bit like, oh shit, should I have made reference to that even as a joke and take the piss out of the person

or told them the fuck, you know what I mean? But you're sort of quite thrown. And then, yeah, it was weird. And I just said, oh, someone's just drunk and they were like, no, that's not cool. Yeah, it's not cool. I mean, it's not cool. I mean, you would have been well within your rights to go,

I'm sorry, but if that's how I'm gonna be treated, I'm not doing it. You know, you could have walked off. And I think you would have been well within your rights to do so. But like, you know, I think anybody, however anybody behaves in those situations is the right way to back, do you know what I mean?

Like, I'm talking about the person that's the victim of that, because at the end of the day, you don't know what it's like until you've been in that situation, do you know what I mean? I'm talking about the person that's the victim of that because at the end of the day, you don't know what it's like until you've been in that situation, do you know what I mean? And that's why I find it so weird when people say, one of the things I've seen with this, you know, Greg Wallace situation, and you know, we don't know how much of it's true, or how much of it isn't, whatever, whatever.

But one of the comments that I really can't abide is people saying, why has it only come out now? And, you know, why are you saying, you sort of go, you've got no fucking idea what it might be like to feel like being in that situation. You know what I mean? Like, it's not easy to just come out and go, this happened or make a complaint about somebody fucking famous. Yeah. And I think when it comes to, when you read about some of the runners and people are sort of like people are lowered, you know, just making their way in television or film or whatever. Yeah, and then suddenly somebody does that and then later on you have the courage to come out and say something about it and people go,

why didn't you say something at the time? It must have been okay. Just honestly, just shut up, man. It's just such a bullshit argument. But anyway, look, I'm sorry that happened to you, mate. I'm really sorry that happened to you. Yeah, it was creepy, but that was the game, right? It's fucking horrible, but. Woo hoo!

70,000 people are here, and Bob Dylan is the reason for it. Inspired by the true story. to the world. Turn it down! They loud. To change everything. Make some noise, BD. Demetri Chalamet, Edward Norton, El Fanny, Monica Barbera. A complete unknown. Only theaters Christmas day. So you did the, you did Kathy Birch's podcast. Yeah. Wow. Yep.

Well, I don't want to give any spoilers, but you got yourself involved a little bit. Very amazingly. I didn't get myself involved. No, no, I asked you. You did it. You asked me. Let me be clear on this,

because I haven't told you this, we had a little chat about it before the podcast. Somebody sent me a recording of what happened in the run up to that. Oh really? Yes, yes. of what happened in the run up to that. And- Oh really? Yes, yes. And obviously I didn't realize I had to send it to you.

So I sent it to Flo. So you weren't aware that I had done this thing. You sent it. Yeah. And look, I just wanna, I don't wanna make a big thing about this. The truth is that I took longer than I should have done because I've been filming in Phoenix to submit this thing We're you in America. Also, I didn't want to hassle you about it

No, you don't want to hassle me but you but but and I quote I've asked him four times Direct quote from you and he's not bothered to do it. That's By the way, you you're not not going Trump levels before you got fucking spies? They were coming to the podcast. I know I know what you said. I had people my people Very good people in the crowd. No just by coincidence One of the producers of my radio to show who you'll know very well from trashing on this very podcast because You blamed my team for your interview moving so you know what basically one of the people whose jobs you tried to to to lose for them they happen to be at the night and so they recorded that bit and sent it to me it

wasn't it wasn't a deliberate thing they just said well it feels very much like oh no this could be good It's good. I can see me climb up that old greasy pole of fucking fame that little bit more It was a yeah, it was very classy Burke is incredible man. I love her. Do you know what I love about her? Apart from just being super talented just It's what we all strive for as people that do this sort of thing, just as authentic as it gets, right? Do you know what I mean? She is unadulteratedly her in a way that I could only dream of.

And she just is, yeah, so funny. So yeah, just just just an incredible human being. And like you look at her body of work and you get the stuff she's done it and quite even like the chops that if you have you ever seen Tinker Her and look at the stuff she's done and quite even like the chops are there. Have you ever seen Tinker Her and Tinker Taylor? She's like, it steals the whole movie from something. Yeah, she's just incredible. She's a phenomenal, phenomenal and yeah, very and then Paul Whitehouse was also there, which I didn't realise and he was in the audience, which was I name checked him at one point, not knowing he was there and then sort of caught up with him after. Paul Whitehouse was a big inspiration for him at one point, not knowing he was there, and then sort of caught up with him after.

Paul Whitehouse was a big inspiration for me. So yeah, it was a lovely evening. It was a very nice thing to do. Two great podcasts, and we did our live one, which was a lot of fun. Yeah, thank you so much to everyone who came out for the podcast. I, well, I'll give full disclosure

to let everyone behind the curtain, but I was a little bit worried about how I was on the not worried worried is an exaggeration Why do you but I thought you were brilliant? No, but I just had such a day of it like that like that day You've worked hard that day. Well, I'd it been pretty full-on and then I sort of came straight to Ali Pali from like quite a full-on day So like I didn't feel like I was, I don't know how to explain it. You sort of want to get in the zone a little bit.

Do you know what I mean? And not in the zone. I know we're just sitting and chatting, but I mean, you just want to be ready mentally. And I didn't feel I was ready mentally to do it. But it ended up being a great night. You were on top of them. Can we give a shout out to Martin Too Smooth, who was just-

That guy just grows in my heart. It's like he's fucking- He's one of my favorite, he's one of my favorite, favorite people in the world. I feel lucky to know him. You know what, he brought two friends as well. Puff and Sav, shout out to them. He brought two friends who are also as delicious as him.

I do think, without getting too sort of too mushy you can tell a lot about people by the people they surround themselves with and that's why I'm always proud to when people know that I'm one of your friends. When people say you're Ramesh's mate I know they think well of me. Yeah well I imagine that when somebody says you're Ramesh's mate you go I'm an artist in my own right actually don't know if you've seen Paddington. Actually, I don't. I often just, I often, as you've been with me,

when people recognize you, but not me, I will happily shrink into the background and pretend I'm not there. Well, let's compare the difference, because when people recognize- Can I just say, there's never been a situation in our careers where someone has fucking recognized me, but not recognized you. Yes, there has.

Yes, there has. When? That's never gonna happen. That our careers where someone has fucking recognized me, but not. Yes, there has. Yes, there has. When? That's never going to happen. That has happened. It has happened. When? I don't think it's ever been a situation where someone knows who I am, but wouldn't know who you are.

I don't think, I don't think that's true. You were, you were fucking Tom, Tom. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that to be fucking fun. Internationally. No, no, but I think there's a difference. I think that more just your reach is like wide. I, I I'd be shot I can't think of a time when someone's gone oh I fucking know it's him and they're not looked and gone okay I can

give you a scenario for some reason we get invited to the Oscars all right yeah Timothee Chalamet is probably gonna be there yeah I don't know if he's still talking to me yeah well he'll still acknowledge you, won't he? Do you know what I mean? Like, he's not gonna know who I am. Yeah, you'd have to say. Yeah, I mean, look, it might not necessarily positive, but he's got a reaction to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

There's people you've been in films with. You've just been in a bit of a world, well you can't talk about it, but you've just been in another project. You're in the Jack Whitehall Christmas thing. Do you know what I mean? That's international. It's the number one movie on Amazon right now, do you know what I mean? That's international. It's the number one movie on Amazon right now.

Do you know what I mean? So there you go. By the way, you falling over that, I'm not exaggerating, genuinely I mean this, I looped it 10 times. There are a lot of people who have done that. What I realized is, do you know what, but that was a complete accident.

No, I can tell. That was genuinely one of the most painful things. I've seen you do pratfalls. You can't nail them. So I know for a fact that that was legit. Do you know that thing where both your ego and your physically and internally the pain is exactly the same? I felt so... Fuck it. And you can actually see worse than a fall is my reaction to the same. I felt so fucking, and you can actually see, what's worse than the fall is my reaction to the fall,

is the way I walk over, my tongue between my legs. It's so dignifying. Listen, you and I, we're very different people, but in our souls, we are the same human being, right? That's what's brought us together in this world, right? And what is going on with me today? I'm talking like a fucking blazer reefer before I got on to this podcast. I love this version of you. I love Phoenix.

Phoenix ROM might be my favorite ROM. It's so deep and spiritual. No, I love it. But genuinely when you got up from the sled and walked over just embarrassed and sheepish and just thinking that's another thing I can chalk up to being shit at at another time that I've been made to look like an absolute baiter. I recognise that so much. You know what, I don't think I could be any more David Brent than I am in that moment. That's pretty the most Brent I've been. Do you know the worst thing of it, right, is as the camera stopped and some people came over to make sure I was alright, or okay, Jack turned to me and he went, well you've

just made the trailer. Was it a part of you that was quite happy? No, mate, I was in the agit and also… For the record, for the filming, you're always like, whenever you go into those scenes, because a lot of what we do, but you're relying on being funny, you're thinking like, whenever you go into those things, because like a lot of what we do, but like you're relying on being funny on, you know, you're thinking, I don't know how funny I'm going to be today.

I don't know how it's, as soon as you did that fall, you're done. You could take the rest of the day off, right? Do you know what I mean? Like, is it? Yeah, but also it's also hard because, because you want to make sure you've got a little bit loaded up to

be funny as well, otherwise you are just a guy who fell head over heels over a fucking husky sleigh. I also as well, they were very decent because I then did the husky slaying afterwards and that was even worse. I was so terrified that I was literally, I was driving like a 90 year old, I was like a pensioner just foot on the brake the whole time. It was fucking awful. Huskies, by the way, are pricks. Huskies are fucking pricks. Well, that's, that's an incredible thing to say.

Why are they arrogant? They're working. Like they, they were just so not fucking having me. Like I tried so hard. I actually asked the lady, I was like, is there any way I can get some treats for them? So we got some treats, they didn't want to know. They just loathed me. It was like just, you know what it felt like being back at school and trying to get in with the football team, the lads who were good at football? It felt like me just sort of like standing around

a load of alpha dogs and them just going, oh fuck off mate, we'll do what we've got to do for this fucking film, you better get yourself falling off the fucking, I was, the. But we'll do what we've got to do for this fucking film. You better not yourself falling off the fucking. I was, it was, the woman said, by the way, I've never seen that. I've done this for 30 years. I've never, ever seen anybody fall like that.

And I was like, oh, good. And then the huskies were like, oh, yeah, look at this fucking idiot. Yeah, I mean, look, they were trying to pull the sled and then you fell on top of it. That would have, that would have been a shock to them. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, but also they, they had had to because they were going so fast because she went because of my weight. She was because of your so big, you have to have like whatever it was like 14 huskies. I think she basically was like because then they start going really fast, I couldn't control them. Then she put it down to eight and the eight left were like absolutely knocking their pipes out. I'm not fucking surprised.

And then you've gone round there and you've gone and done some tricks. I need to stay lean, man. It's the light on my feet. The job I've got ahead of me. You want me to fuck around and get blown out. Do you know how much those shit when you're running around as well?

Yeah, I'm aware. It's disgusting. I'm aware, yeah, yeah. Just put every defecator under the face. What do you want me to do? Stop and go and need a toilet break? Yeah, a little bit of fucking like, like we would. Well, there's eight of them. They're not in sync are they?

Just have a toilet break like they do in the F1. Do they have a... I don't know. That's what the... Well Louis Samuelson doesn't sit there shitting himself does he? If he needs a poo he's fucking... he'll stop at the fucking... track like in the... you know... I don't think that... I don't think that happens Tom. I've never even thought of this.

What do you think happens if you need a shit and you're only F1? You're on the track for four or five hours. Let me have a look. I can't believe I'm googling this. Plus adrenaline is absolutely pumping. Drivers do not have the luxury of leaving their cockpit to use the restroom. F1 drivers can relieve themselves in their suits at any time during a race. Oh wow. The only option available to F1 drivers that need to go to the toilet urgently is to go in their race suits while they're still driving around. So hold up for a second right, so you win like the fucking biggest F1 races of all

F1 races right, you win the biggest race right, you win the Silverstone, you win the you know, Monte Carlo right, you win that but you shat in your suit during it, do they give you, can you go, are you't go Monte Carlo right? What you win that but you've shot in your suit during there do they give you can you go? You're gonna go get your champagne in the big trophy. You go I'm assuming in most cases we're talking about piss here. Jimmy I I'd be I wonder if any fucking racer drivers Like a really good fat shot himself didn't they were in the night, you know And he just smeared it on the grass and got on with it.

I mean my Google history is like, I'm gonna get fucking arrested here. It doesn't say. No one's gonna admit it I guess. necessary with poop in their suits but they prepare well. Their diets are well designed, their eating schedule will be such that they'll drop their kids off at the pool at a sensible time before the race. This is off Quora by the way, so this is just a punter that's saying this, not an expert. So their bowels will be pretty much empty before they get into the car. What if they have the shits? If that's the case, it's highly unlikely they'd be racing. You need to fill 100% to drive an F1 car and if you've been passed, oh god, if you've got

the shits you won't be feeling a hundred percent. If you were coming, if it was like the biggest race of the season right? It's the last race and you could win the whole fucking thing right? The championship yeah yeah yeah and you were like I've got the two bob bits. Your race team captain's not gonna go okay I have, okay, I have the day off. He's like, we need you in, how wrong. We need you more than ever, mate. I think it's almost without a shadow of a doubt, if it was to win the championship,

you would just shit in your cockpit. I think you would say to the team, I've got the shit. But then that's the biggest moment in your life. You've won the race, you've won the championship, and then you'll literally get to the podium. Do you, would you, like, in this situation, would you turn around and say,

I've shat in my suit here,at my suit here mate give me 10 minutes just fucking I don't know give me some wet wipes and well I think you need more than wet wipes or god forbid let me have a shower I would say listen what you need as soon as I get out of here before I get to the podium I need another suit and a hose yeah and you need to just fucking hose me down and get me that new suit so I can get back out there yeah I mean mean, I think I mean I don't know. I know sometimes they broadcast what they're saying on the radio Yeah, even that's slightly tricky isn't it sort of going guys I've had an absolute nightmare here. That's why you need a code word That's if you come out and you just know go code crap code crap. Yeah. Yeah code crap

I say crap isn't you know, if you're trying to be covert You might as well say I've shit myself Jeremy I say crap isn't, you know, if you're trying to be covert, you might as well say I've shit myself. Do you know what I mean? Okay, what if you're Panda, Panda, Panda Cubs? Yeah, there you go, Panda, Panda Cubs. But then, you know, if people are sort of watching the F1 regularly and every time you say Panda Cubs,

the back of your suit's brown, I think they're gonna start to cull on to what's going on. Oh, man, it would be awful. That's why it's best to have like a the back of your suit's brown. I think they're going to start to come on to what's going on. It would be awful. That's why it's best to have like a fucking dark colored suit in it. I guess it's all well and good. I mean, listen, call me a prude. I think the best option is to not shit yourself, but wearing a dark suit is a close second, but you don't ever plan to shit yourself.

I know, but I think if you've got the shit, so you would sort of dose up on something. Can I say, by the way, I saw a guy at my gym earlier today He had white jeans on and he carried he was he had such distinction in his form It was his way in the workout. No I've seen a guy at the gym. He does wear jeans. He's got skinny jeans. He wears a vest and he works out He's actually got a cool vibe kind of want to make friends with him, but I'm not sure yeah But this guy after the workout he was in the sauna, sauna like just a little towel wrapped

around him, my pants. And how do you know that? Because when he got up he took his towel, like his towel fell off and he was naked. Okay. So why do you spend so much time in the sauna? It's really good for you, sauna really is a really good thing. Is it good for you? It's really good for you. Sauna really is a really good thing. Is it good for you? It's really good for you. It's good for wearing loads of different... I can't relate to spending that much time in just your towel. Sweating. Oh, mate, I'd love to get in a sauna with you and just fucking shoot the breeze.

I don't think I'd ever... We should do an episode in a sauna. I don't ever want to get in a sauna with you. Why? I just don't. I'm sorry. Mate, I had a conversation today with a French guy, right? Roland his name was, beautiful guy, incredible human being, just chatted, 15 minutes.

Yeah. Literally just sounds like, fucking hell man, you're a good guy, cheers. Thank you, please be shot mate. Yeah, to give you context, I'd rather be in the sauna with a stranger than being a sauna with you. That's fucking insane. Yeah, I know.

You are the worst person at teeing up a conversation. Me? Like, my sauna form is incredible. I get in the sauna straight away, I look around, I go, I'm sitting there, I'm having a conversation with this person. Yeah. Let's chit chat.

Yeah, no, I know, I know. Yeah. If you literally get in and you're like, this look is a look. Whew, now that is better. That is better. Oh God, honestly, Tom, I'm not just saying this, I'm not saying this for comic effect or anything.

If somebody got into the sauna and sat down and went, now that's better. It's 30 seconds maximum before I'm gone. Fuck off, really? Yeah. That's good sauna jargon. Well, it might be, mean I'm not of that world I would say then but I'm not okay. So you walk in and go

Heat needed no no But listen it all says I'm not good at starting chat that is true I get in the sauna and I Find the vibe is great. Yeah, if I can share a paranoia with you, when we've been going out for crew dinners, I'm constantly worried that people don't want to sit with me because I'm so bad at teaming up on the session. Yeah, I'm just like, I know that my job is talking, but when I'm not doing my job I

Probably only really talk when I think it's not necessary I think you can I say number one the beauty of a sauna is you can't have your phone in there It's really bad for first. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, so sometimes you have quite contemplation Sometimes I'm going in there and I'm just all about the quiet contemplation I close my eyes and I think when you're, if I see someone with their eyes closed in a sauna, I'm like, okay, I know the boundaries. If their eyes are open, they're looking about,

I'm like, conversation, my friend, I'm here for you. Right, when it comes to dinner, I think you should try, because you do look at your phone when it comes to like- No, I don't, I don't. I might have done that in the past. Are you better with that? I've stopped doing that. Mate, I'm on a journey. That's just good I'm on a journey with that now

this is the thing with you like I think and it's I'm saying this because I you know I adore you you are a great conversationist. I think as long as you're talking about things that you want to talk about, but you listen. You're an intent listener. I think that's one of the things. And you register what other people are talking about. I watch you in conversation.

I think I should try and be a bit more like Ramesh. He listens. Mm, yeah. Well, it's something I'm deeply paranoid about. But don't be paranoid. OK. You know what? Can we pretend we're going, what do you want to do? Yeah, well it's something I'm deeply paranoid about but um, but don't be paranoid. Okay. I do know What you would you want to do did it roll play I think about doing a sauna role play actually

So let's let's have a role play for a while. No, so imagine we are We don't know each other. Okay, what's my name? I don't know. I'm gonna tell you now, my name is Neil Crew. Okay. I'm an insurance salesman from Delaware. Okay, and my name is- Are we in America? Oh, you're rubbish, you should be rubbish,

because this is getting out of your- Oh yeah, okay, fine, fine, fine. Okay. You don't think I can handle a character? Okay. So who's in already? Oh my God. Hold on, hold on, hold on, who's in already?

I'm in there already. Okay, yeah. All right, so I'm gonna tell you this now. I'm gonna walk in silently and Hold on, hold on, hold on. Who's in already? I'm in there already. Okay, yeah. Alright, so I'm gonna tell you this now. I'm gonna walk in silently and sit down, okay? That's my flex, alright? So. Eeeeh.

Pshh. Ooh, you okay? Yeah, no, that was, that was just the, that was just the door. That was the door. Oh, okay, okay. I thought maybe it was a little hot for you. No, no, can I ask you something? Can I ask you something friend? Um, yeah, have you got shots on underneath your towel? It's wrapped around you awful tight. Yeah. Well that yeah. No, I don't

I don't have shorts on no, no i'm naked under here. Okay Okay, by the way, by the way, I'm naked under here. Okay. Okay, three minutes. By the way, I would just say, strange opening question. If you don't mind me saying. Oh really? Oh no, sorry, I'm a sauna rat. I can't believe I'm a sauna rat.

I inhabit a sauna at least three to five times a week. Yeah, are they good saunas? I don't genuinely, I don't genuinely, it's one of my first times in one of these. Let me tell you this friend, by the way, I'm Neil Clark from Delaware. I'm here on an insurance sales party. It's a lot of insurance salesmen from all around the country. I was at last night, I had a couple of drinks with a guy from New Hampshire. He was a riot. Anyhow, what were you asking? Well, I just said do you go to the sauna a lot?

Yeah, I do. You know the greatest thing about a sauna? What? Three and a half years ago I was told I was only going to live to 55. You're looking at a 58 year old man. Do you put that down to the sauna exclusively? Yeah, that's the only thing I trade changed. I still drink like an absolute crazed man. I still take cocaine. I still smoke and I don't use the gym. The only thing I started doing was

getting one of these sweat boxes. And it changed my life all in what what made you think the sauna was going to be sort of the thing that would change everything? Well, there's all kinds of regret. And I always say it's better with a sweat. OK. So let me hear a little something about you. Tell me about yourself.

Oh, my name is Ramesh. I'm actually from the UK. Oh wow. Okay, that's cool. Sorry, can I just... Fucking sirens going mad out here, man. Must be like, people just, must be a role-play about you. Oh, okay, you're trying to make an excuse to leave. No, I was just...

Anyway, sorry, what were you saying? What were you... Yeah, I'm Ramesh, I'm from the UK. Tell me a little bit of stuff. I'm from the was just anyway, sorry. What were you saying? What were you? Yeah, I'm from the UK. I'm from the great. What are you doing the UK rubbish? I'm a comedian. Oh, I love comedy. Tell me a joke. Well, I don't you know, I don't really I don't really do come on. You must have at least one. I love a knock knock joke or you know, pub jokes come on I don't really do jokes to finish me I could give you a joke do you mind if I smoke in the sauna go ahead friend what did What did 50 Cent say when his grandma got him a jumper for Christmas? What?

G unit. G unit. What? G unit. What's that mean? Like G unit. Do you understand? Like unit.

What is a G unit? No, G unit. You unit you know as in unit oh so oh she's knitted him yeah yes that if she's knitted him that no but that's yeah pretty she's yeah but the joke is she's given that's a beautiful gift for anybody god damn I never knew my grandparents but if I'd had a grandmother I'd have loved it sure I'll as far as a horse's lamb. You guys. I like to have a little bit in it.

How long have you been in it for? Two and a half hours. That was my third cigarette. And I've had half a bottle of Jameson's. Yeah, but that's a great, that's a beautiful thing. Yeah. No, but it's, it's the joke is the joke is that 50 Cent sort of group is called G Unit. Oh, right, okay.

It's a pun. I don't really listen to a lot of rap music, since all of the pedophilia and stuff. Oh, God. A lot of pedophile are you rubbish? No, no, no, I've not even dabbled, but I know that, yeah, it's a bit of a tough time for hip-hop fans at the moment. Seems a strange choice that you've taken off your underpants, but you're still wearing your socks. Okay, weird. I suppose I've got a yes and that. Yes, I am. Yes, I'm wearing my socks. It's because I've got a foot thing, so I didn't want to cause an issue.

You know that one of the main things in a sauna is you can't come in here with a fungal infection. Oh I didn't do that. Well I should probably head off then. Well it's been nice chatting to you Neil. I'd say that if anybody comes in here and that well this will both have to leave. Why do we both have to leave? Probably shouldn't. That's the deal. Because you brought a fungal infection into the honor. This is now a no-go area Can I just if you don't mind me saying now?

I didn't know that I was gonna be wearing socks before you introduced it to the roleplay. So I Wouldn't say yeah that you cannot come into a sauna with a serious toe stroke toe jam Okay, but but but Neil let me be sorry man. Sorry. Hey, what do you mean? say that you cannot come into a sauna with a serious toe stroke toe jam infection. Okay but but but Neil let me be. Hey sorry man sorry. Hey what do you mean sorry? You can't go in there this guy here has just walked into the sauna with a fungal infection. What are you thinking buddy? I can clean your nose off your face. No but can I just explain I didn't know that was going to happen when I started the role play. He's all right. He's a comedian. Hey, tell me a joke. His jokes aren't great. He's something about knitting.

50 cents grandma. Yeah, it's a lot. Look, I think it's a language thing. I don't think we're getting it. See, look, you've had a great conversation with a new friend. Yeah, I don't think I wouldn't say if that actually happened, I wouldn't say I'd come out of that thinking I've enjoyed the experience. I probably wouldn't ever go and think someone would get it. Yeah, but you know what? you've broken barriers and you've talked to someone he's found out about 50 cent and you found out

you can't go into a sauna with a fungal no, no, no infection. Yeah, that's perfect. Everyone will everyone learns everyone grows and that is what life's all about. Really? Yeah, no, that's what saunas are about. Anyway, I guess the point is thanks to everyone that came to the Ali Pali show. It was you know, it was a hell of a night. It makes me want to do more. And also, can I just say, Jamie Redknapp, what a guess. Well, sorry, that's what I was going to go and say. Jamie Redknapp, who we asked to come

on. And he was very, he wasn't very nervous. But it's difficult job for him, because we've not had a guest on the podcast and he's not a comedian funny funny bloke but not a comedian and he stepped in I would describe his performance as majestic it was beautiful really really really good and I tread here unaware and I tread here of slight of mind. Definitely slight of mind. I'm slightly concerned there was an email about Pate. Okay, I didn't know whether to mention this or not. I don't know whether to mention it,

but it feels like it's, it feels like, I'm slightly intrigued by what went on. Okay, so let's ask the question. We got an email and I'm not gonna read it out because I'm slightly nervous about... I don't want anyone to be upset. No. But I was very intrigued.

There was an email from somebody who their relationship was sort of bonded over Pate because that's what they had when they first met or something. Yeah, it was a lovely story. Yeah, it was a lovely story. Anyway, it turns out she... Up until the end. Yeah, she doesn't like pate and she wanted to take the podcast live show

as the opportunity to tell her partner that she didn't like pate and the reason that we are speaking about it in such ginger, we're gingerly treading around this email is that once we'd read out the email, there was no response when we called out for the people that wrote the email email which led us to believe that maybe there might have been an issue possibly. Which I hope there wasn't. It felt like a fun-spirited email.

I didn't even know whether I believed it or not you know because sometimes when people if we say can you email into the podcast people are sort of looking you know they might not have something they want to talk about but they do want to be on the you know they do want to be part of the show so it's possible they made it up for shits and giggles yeah I don't think that was made up okay well I sort of giving them a way out there but um but no no no you still use the way out you put your second foot in well I have I've someone's contacted me and said that someone's contacted you and said that. Someone's contacted you and said what? Well said that they think they were sitting near them

because when it kicked off, they got up and left. Okay, well we don't definitely know it was them, do we? So. Well, I don't know it was them, but yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I mean, look, you're the guy who's, you've got all the fucking spies and espionage knocking about, do you know what I mean? Spies and espionage, I just happened to know somebody that was at your show.

And they were keeping a keen eye on your career because you tried to throw them under the bus a few months previously. So that's where that came from. I felt very terrible about that. And I can honestly, I know who was in the wrong. I've hopefully made right. It was, I was kind of gaslit at the time by someone.

So it was an awful situation. I felt terrible. Yeah, I mean, listen, don't turn the bus in another direction. Just sort of accept it was a mistake. Don't start looking for someone else to run on. I will take my part in it, but I will say that it was an awful fucking, it was an awful situation to have found myself in.

And I felt mortified that that person might have felt that they were somewhat, there was some fault of theirs and it wasn't. So, yeah, I hope they enjoyed the show last night. That's all I can say. I hope so too. If I'd known that they were there, I'd have sent over like a couple of crates of beer.

Yeah, no, it would have been a nice thing. Right, Tom, we've got to keep it short today because you and I are both on tight schedules. So, could you please do us the honour? Okay. An elven bride. An old man with a smile. What am I talking of?

Santa Claus, of course. And his little elf family. Santa Claus sitting there. What does he do all year? Just wait for Christmas? No, alas dear friend, he has a busy social life with all of his friends. The people who put together the toys and they have lives of their own. The elves aren't just knocking together PlayStation fires and bikes and rocking horses. No, no, no, they're married with children of their own who one day will also make toys and if they're lucky enough maybe

they'll flee the North Pole. The truth of the matter is sometimes it's easy just to look at presence as being presence. Thinking, oh maybe that was Santa Claus who dropped it off or maybe it was Rudolph the elves. But actually the truth of the matter is, if you look a little deeper it's hard work and ingenuity, whoever put the presents together, they put the presents under the tree. And for some people out there, there won't be any presents at all. And that's the saddest thing of all, how do you believe when there's nothing to believe in? And that's where, I hope, some charities come in.

So in a roundabout way what I'm trying to say is this And that's where I hope some charities come in. So in a round about way what I'm trying to say is this, there's some incredible charities out there this time of year that do amazing things. That put presents under the trees for the people who have not. I'm going to put a few of these over the next couple of weeks, the people I've been talking to, because I do think it's important that hope and belief, no matter where you come from and what your situation is, for a couple of days and as silly as it may seem, to have a little smile and have a present under the tree can mean a lot. So I always give because I think it's important

to give. And I urge if you have got a couple of quid here and there, and you can make a bit of a difference. And I realise times are hard that you do the same. So I'm going to put up some links and I'll try and get JT to put them up for the war for now and if you have a little give a little it's really important this time of year friends loved ones people I adore you all keep doing you. Tom beautiful beautiful took a real left turn there got quite serious but a great message thank you so much. And shout out, as always, I do, Bob Watson

does an incredible job this time of year, around our area, Crawley, Gordon, Sutton, give into those who haven't. So yeah, shout out those people, good people. Right, Tom D, I think for the next couple of weeks we should do Christmas songs to see out the whole cast. What would you like? I like that.

What's your favorite? Well, there's only one Christmas song. I know that Christmas is here when I hear this song. Okay. It's the best of all. Yeah. Fairy Tale of New York, baby. Fairy Tale of New York, JT,

can you play us out with Fairy Tale of New York? I hope your Christmas period has started beautifully, guys. We will see you again. Love you very much. Peace. Take care. And love and serenity. Merry Christmas.

You went really weird there. I know, I don't know what happened. You were pretty queen of New York City When the bums finished playing They held out for more So natural was swinging On the jump they were singing We kissed down a corner, then danced through the night

The boys of the end were like pinnacle while we're singing Go away, babe And the bells were ringing out for Christmas Day If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.