Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 1: New Year’s Day Special

Episode Date: January 1, 2025

What better way to kick off 2025 than with a New Year’s Day Wolf & Owl special! So, alongside plenty of New Year's celebrations, we’re talking… not having many friends, a mysterious intruder at Tom’s house, a lovely Christmas morning chat with a vicar and wearing a dog-collar during a martial arts fight. Plus, our New Year's (or new day) resolutions and we answer some listener’s emails about their goals for 2025, such as weight loss, improving health, being more organised and working out a new running style. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. I am so dreading groceries this week. Why? You can skip it. Oh, what?

Just like that? Just like that. How about dinner with my third cousin? Skip it. Prince Fluffy's favorite treats? Skippable. Midnight snacks? Skip.

My neighbor's nightly saxophone practices? Er, nope, you're on your own there. Coulda skipped it? Shoulda skipped it. Skip to the good part and get groceries, meals, and more delivered right to your door on skip. Yum. freeze meals and more delivered right to your door on skip. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder Like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their sense of shit, let them see the whole thing

They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear's a huff and puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing his head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about. And a bit of the John Kearns about you actually. We are back in the building in the little bit in between Christmas and New Year. Taking you through. This will go out on New Year's Day.

How do you know? Have you spoken to JT? Well, oh shit, of course. Well we've got no idea, he might be on holiday. I mean I don't know when this guy's out actually. Yeah, oh man, yeah, okay. Somebody has to edit this and we've not communicated to him at all. He might be on holiday. I mean, I don't know. I don't know when this goes out actually. Yeah Yeah, okay. Yeah, somebody has to edit it. Okay, and we've not communicated him at all So you think I might have jumped the gun with the New Year's resolution special mate that was

Okay, let's just talk through this. I Messaged you saying she'll do an episode tomorrow. You said yes. Yeah, very kind excited very excited Yeah, so I got the message by the way this morning yes and I know because you have your notifications what a dream to wake up to I'm like yes I get to see my fucking brother yeah so you have your notifications silenced what does it mean when when you on your phone in the evening you obviously don't want to be bothered so you have silence man I just throw my phone in a box somewhere, but you have notification silence, right, in the evening.

My phone knows my routine, baby. It knows from 8.30pm I'm uncontactable, unless it's ring doorbell, which I needed by the way the other day, as you know, someone tried to break into my home. Okay, should we do story by story? Like this is one of my news resolutions by the way to stop interrupting and going off on the tangent. I don't think you need to worry about it personally. Yeah, you've got to read the reviews of this podcast. Who gives a shit? I might have a problem. Yeah, but it's like going, Tom, listen, I love you, but interrupting it to you is like breathing. Do you know what I mean? You can't suddenly go, oh, I don't like him. This is like going, I don't like two guys

that talk shit for an hour. Well, this isn't the podcast for you. Do you know what I mean? This is like. So. Sweet say that, sweet say. Anyway, so you said to me, let's do it. And then I was sort of gone with my day and then I get a

Message me going I've pinged something up. It could be a New Year's special fine New Year's special I'm all on board with then suddenly yo yo yo Listen big big news. We record an episode later on today. It's a New Year's resolution special send your news was... So first of all, asking for a bit of admin to be done, which by the way, you will not fucking lay a finger on, by the way. Oh, mate, I've got it here. I'm prepped, so I'm ready to go.

Oh, okay, great, all right. So mate, mate, for the first time ever in Wolf and Owl history. You're doing the messages. I'm fucking it, yeah. Okay, great. All right, well, the second issue I have is to be absolutely crystal clear, I wasn't saying

it for comic effect, I am against New Year's resolutions. Yeah, I know, you're like, I hate New Year's resolutions, so really give me the ICC. I don't hate them, they don't give me the ICC. I actually disagree with ICC. Don't get me started on ICC. Yeah, I know, I hate it. Anyway, ICC feels like saying that teenage, we were with friends just today, and their teenage daughter used the word Ick.

And I know they'll get together, they didn't involve me. One of your supposed best friends. By the way, all right, all right, I've told you now. I'm saying this. Why don't we, listen, I'm starting to get the point. Can I just say, by the way, can I just say by the way. Yeah, go on.

You're going to New York, I said let's get together. I've told you, and you have my word, my oath, my bond, my fucking sacrilege, right? Okay You are gonna be the first guest to my new house. That's me Katherine of you this happening. Okay March Oh, you are literally you know, I can I think that is there Okay, and it marked me mark me a liar and a vagabond if this doesn't happen. Okay, fine fine I look forward I look forward to that. I look forward to that. It'll be amazing I'm literally gonna hold you by the hands take you in and go this is the first tour I've given of my new abode. Yeah okay. Grace will go by the way Grace is the cutest thing Grace turns around when

she sees your TV and goes daddy's best friend. That's so sweet. It's so sweet that your daughter has to identify daddy's best friend on the telly rather than in her house Because he's never been fucking invited well, it's also quite sad that daddy has no other friends because daddy doesn't have many friends and Katherine has a plethora of different friends You and I've had a text conversation about this recently where we both Came to the real life. Okay. I've got I've got to it. I've got to admit something quite bad here. Okay, it's quite embarrassing And then we'll talk about news resolutions

Yes, yeah, we'll talk about that as well Spiral recently yeah, which you were caught in the world about you Yeah, you're in the eye of the tornado because I text you straight here in the lazy eye of the tornado because I've got in Touch you don't use that. No, I'm allowed to do it. I'm allowed to Yeah, but you're better than that. Yeah, it's not me doing tall jokes. Yeah Listen, I know if we're either russ from a panel show and I say something about my eye and you say something about your height We are in trouble that that is yeah. Yeah, apparently that's all I do. It's like anyway, let's not get into that Yeah, the point is I was a photo was shared of a group of friends of mine out for Christmas drinks and

That photo being shared on the whatsapp was my first awareness of those drinks happening. And so I then sort of, I then turned to Lisa and I said, oh, you know what, it's starting to occur to me. They don't really actually have that many friends. Now Lisa sort of did the sort of, I don't know if you've heard, you must have heard this from Kat, the sort of resigned sigh of having to talk her husband down from another precipice that he's put himself on needlessly.

And she sort of said, I'm sure there's a number of reasons you weren't asked and you probably were asked and forgot about it. Anyway, I wasn't asked. And one of the reasons I wasn't asked, and I'm going to put this to you, apparently, one of the reasons I don't get asked these things is that I always say no.

And so now, it's got to the point now where people are starting to think, is it worth asking wrong? You know, that is kind of the situation we find ourselves in. Yeah, I find I'm in that position. You know, the worst thing of all is, right, you get to that thing where you say no so much, and then when you don't get asked the heartbreaking realisation

that maybe you've missed the ferry, that actually the party is gonna continue without you, and you're the contributor of your own demise. Is it too much to ask? I don't want to go, but I want to be invited. That's what I want my life to be. Okay, I don't want to attend. But I'd love to be told that I could attend if I wanted to. That is the paradise for me. That's a sweet spot. I've now left that spot. Okay, I'm now in the spot where I'm not attending and I don't have the option

And that was you know, it's uh Yours I was a tough morning for me. I'll tell you it was a tough morning for Lisa Ranganathan. It was incredibly tough Yeah, it was you a bit like When Kathy Beale left EastEnders, yeah We thought the square wouldn't go on without her and that's probably what the thing is that she when Kathy Beale left EastEnders, she probably thought the square wouldn't go on without her. And that's probably what the thing is, that actually when Kathy Beale left EastEnders, right, and obviously she was also Kathy Mitchell, she married Phil Mitchell as well. But when she left, she probably thought, I'm a generational talent here, I'm a legacy character in EastEnders, it won't go on without me. And actually, it went from strength to strength without her.

It really grew. It became a juggernaut. And that's what, for me and you, when we see these pictures, we're like, I suppose I'll probably just cancel the big lads' night out if I can't go. And then you realize, actually, they've got a new Tams and Althwaite's there now. And she's mellowing.

You've managed to go in two-footed on both of us there. First of all, I was under no illusions that the night should not carry on without me. Do you get me? If anything, I've got to be honest with you, I think it's probably better without me there. That's my honest appraisal of it. The point is-

I think you're great, by the way, on the night out. I've got to say, because I think you don't try to fucking be center stage. You're great for that. You're great for a little chat too. You've always got a fucking funny anecdote. You're almost the perfect guy to have a night out with. Do you know what I'm really good at, Tom?

And this is something you won't know about. Being a house guest. I'm absolutely fantastic. I told you. There's nothing else I can do about it at the moment. March. That is what we're working towards, OK? OK.

Let's talk about news resolutions shortly, but before we do all of that, let's get into, because I received a harrowing text message from you. Because you, you know, we deal with each other's problems. A lot of my problems that I send to you, let's be honest, a lot of the time I partly imagine you looking at your phone and going, fucking hell, here we go again. Never. Okay. You know this is what I do.

If you text, I go like that, I look at my phone, I go, babe, give me five. My guy needs me. Well, I actually called you when you were out with, not about this, about something else. I called you when you were out for lunch, and you very graciously answered the phone. I've got to say, really made me feel very special. Anyway. Well, you're a very special're out for lunch and you very graciously answer the phone I've got to say pretty much feel very special

Anyway, you're very special person my thanks. Thanks. Anyway, so it's one of my new year's resolutions to make you feel even more special Okay. Well, you don't need to do that. You don't need I don't want to feel special. Okay, there's not in my ambitions Okay, so Tom. Yeah harrowing text received from you. I received two videos Yeah, send me two clips and then you gave me the contents. I'm going to hand over to you. So what was mad, right, the night before I had this really horrible dream that house got broken into and the ring doorbells going off and someone's breaking into the house. And I woke up in a sweat and I was like, I looked at the ring doorbell, nothing happening. Following night night I'm lying in bed and my phone starts going off and I'm like it's

like two in the morning I'm like who the fuck's that either it's either a troll who's up on the fucking yayo or it's and it's watch one of the clips of me online and decided to tell me how much he hates me or it is another ring doorbell. Sorry. Yeah. That's another one to get to. Uh, so I look at the phone, it's ring doorbell and it's someone who's basically trying to, who's come from around the back of our house, who somehow got into our backyard, which is kind of mad how they got in there and then he's come back.

So I switched on some lights and I go running downstairs in, you become aware of this in real time? You know this is happening? Yeah, yeah I hear something in the back garden that the winged orber set off. I go there and I switch on some lights and they then go over the back fence and the videos you see are them in the front by the car. I don't know if they're trying to break into the car or hide behind it. It was quite an alarming situation. I don't know if you've ever had that before. It's fucking horrible. I've had it twice now. Obviously we talked about it

before. So then you're like, switch your lights. Then you're in a situation like you called the police because you sort of, essentially it's just someone in your front garden. Yeah, what can the police do? Yeah. But then also I worry that there's people who live on my street, who although they're absolute pricks to me, they're still human beings. So I go around and warn a couple of people that there's someone cased in the area. Not two in the morning, I waited until seven the next morning. But yeah, it was quite an alarm. It's very nerve wracking when you've got a wife and kid in the house. That don't know, that shit's not cool.

Well, I don't find that bit nerve wracking. It's having them in the house when someone else is moping around. I find quite nerve wracking. But did you, how have you felt since? Quite, I think Catherine's been quite uneasy. And then we spoke to some neighbours and it's happened to a few different people. Like we have a pretty good alarm security system, but you are a bit like Yeah, I know it feels like horrible as well Christmas, right? Yeah, it's a weird just before Christmas

Yeah, you just sort of kind of yeah Time which I'd accept to break in but Christmas feels particularly harsh doesn't it? Yeah, but then also you're like it's such a fucking Don't you've ever had your house burgled bit fucking really it's you've said it a couple of times now I'm starting to feel like you're wishing it upon upon me. All right. Okay, well, it's hard someone tries to get over the moat and into your house. But

I dread to think what kind of security let me tell you something good luck fucking dealing with the robot dogs. That's all I'll say to you. You come knocking at my door. One of the guys that are roasted you should get one of those fucking like alert Alsatians, you know the ones that the fucking anti-sort of burglary ones and some security dogs. Because I fucking don't, it literally at night it's fine the rest of the time you've got you've essentially like you've got a

jock or a fucking alpha male you've got the Andrew Tate of dogs living in your back garden. I'm terrified to go out there. you've got a joke or a fucking alpha male you got the end you take a dog's living in your back garden Terrified to go out there People don't like big eyes because they're pussies Just calling you a wanker like that you're coming out here you prick no no cuz you're fucking terrifying Actually just rather at the house bird are you drinking still water you fucking homosexual? Watch the floor right? That's Are you drinking still water, you fucking homosexual? Ha ha ha! Wash the floor up, mate. That's why you can't get a boner.

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Hurry up though, like the holiday season Popeyes $25 Fes of Family Box Steal will be over before you know it. Love that chicken from Popeyes. I'll tell you what happened to me, mate. This is nowhere near as bad as your thing but um, do you remember I told you the story of the lady that when Lucy and I did our vow renewal you know the one you couldn't make it to because we didn't want to come. So, it was in Scotland. Yeah so you know this. Yeah I'll tell you what you fucking say about me being a twister of the facts. What? You've started beating Donald Trump for fucking Christmas dinner. Holy shit!

No fucking way, I was in Scotland, I was devastated. I actually looked to getting a fucking helicopter back. Couldn't afford it. Anyway, do you remember I told you about that woman that tried to put together a group to come and complain. So Christmas day, I take the dogs out for a little mid-morning walk and I bump into, you know we live right 30 seconds away from a church, so the vicar from the church is on a little morning constitutional. Full, by the way, full vicar outfit. And I gotta say, I like it. I think as a get up, I'm a fan. That's a special day, man. That's the day that no one could

say anything horrible about everyone's got a trip with respect. Anyway, he had a he just looked great. said to me, Mary, so has he got? Don't worry asking. He had like, I would describe it as a sort of, I think he's sort of mid-50s, maybe slightly receding, but he's gone for the like, he sort of gently slicked it back. Oh, passing. I like it, I liked it, I've got to say, I'm a big fan. Yeah.

Anyway, he said Merry Christmas. Nice. And I said Merry Christmas, and I said Merry Christmas and There was a couple of it sort of a slight entourage with him and one of the ladies that was with him said Oh, you've got lovely dogs. I said, thanks very much. And then she said I hope they've got some treats This Christmas day and I said, yeah, they have yeah Yeah, they have just taken one of walks so they can earn them sort of, you know, calorie-wise. We can run them on a tight ship in our house

in terms of dog weight management. I didn't say any of that. I'm just sort of freestyling. And anyway, went off. I come back, I tell Lisa. Lisa goes to me, did the woman look like this? Described her. That's the woman.

Wow. That woman. Wow, she's gasolating. That I had engaged in, yes, that I'd engaged in light Christmas dog treat conversation with. That's the woman that tried to get fucking assemble a mob. Wow. And now she's got fucking God on her side.

Right, yeah, no, God won't be having any, one of the main things that he hates is fucking disabled people. Well, it's love by neighbor, it's like one of the main things, isn't it? Yeah, it's one of his main things. Yeah. It's love by neighbor, it's like one of the main things isn't it? Yeah, it's one of his main things. Also, you know I'm 45 years old, I've never ever had like a person of the cloth, like a priest, naivica, say to me, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas son. That must be not, it's almost like Santa Claus himself reaching down. I think anybody, you know whether you're religious or not when you meet somebody who is sort of is devoted yeah regardless of what faith is there is something about them isn't there yeah you know what I mean they have an energy

they've got an aura about them yeah I don't mean like tick-tock aura we like yeah that kind of bullshit I'm talking about genuinely they've got like a certain energy about that time of year as well it's like foggy it's hazy oh it's beautiful he's got his hair slit back looks like a fucking you know like a decent mafioso yeah yeah he's sort of like yeah that outfit is so yes it's such a great get up he looks so good are you allowed to wear a dog collar if you're not a religious persuasion like you yeah of course you can to wear a dog collar if you're not a religious persuasion? Yeah, of course you are. Can anyone wear a dog collar? Yeah. I want kind of grandad shirts but like.

Yeah, you can wear a dog collar if you're I mean I think it's you want to be honest I think it's a weird move but you can wear it. Yeah but different colored like a different that kind of I like something around my neck like this. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean look there's a choice. You can either go for sort of a high neck top or a turtleneck or something or you can wear a dog collar. I'll leave it up to you as to what the sort of use. I suppose you need a special shirt to go with the dog collar. Yeah. But they just wear it under the collar of the normal shirt. They've got, I think they've got like, it's a special collar that you can sort of slip it underneath, right?

Yeah. It's quite a fucking outlay in it for a look that you might, yeah. I don't know how I'd feel if we met up and you, without any announcement, turned up in a dog collar and a yellow one at that. Or you turned up in a claret and blue dog collar just because that's your new thing. But if someone walked up to us and went, oh, guys, where was Frank and Nathan? Oh, hello, father. There you go. Hello, oh, hello father, hello guy.

Hello sir, Merry Christmas. Yeah, I mean, you make a very humble assumption that we wouldn't recognize you. Yeah, yeah, but with the dog collar, they probably make it like a disguise. Yeah, okay. Because I think the dog collar is like, you know, in some martial arts,

you look at someone's chest rather than their face. What? In some martial arts, you look at their chest, like here, instead of their face. You don't have to point at your chest to tell me where they're looking. You seem somewhat confused. No, because I thought we were talking about a conversation

between me and a vicar on Christmas morning, and now you're talking about martial arts. That's why I look confused. The bit that I wasn't confused about is when he says, look at the chest, where could he possibly be? That's not the bit that threw me off No, but yeah, but sometimes you you lack the persuasion when I'm going in a different route

What do you mean I lack the persuasion? What do you mean I lack the persuasion? I'm telling you now. I don't even I've now got to the point now. I don't even know what you think you fucking mean I've genuinely got no idea What you think you're saying? I lacked persuasion. What do you mean by that? But what I'm saying to you, right? Yeah, it's the comparable narrative Just just Just keep it simple the dog collar dog collar sees a dog collar.

They don't even look at the face. They look at the dog collar. But the dog collar is around the neck, right? Yeah, but you look at the dog collar. Oh, fucking hell, it's a priest. So you look at the dog collar rather than too much of the face. The dog collar almost just draws your eyes to it. It's like a nice necklace.

Like, you know, where you wear your fancy hip hop chain, which is cool. I sometimes look at that and forget that I'm even talking to you. Okay, so what has that got to do with martial artists looking at the chest? Yeah, so some martial arts in Kramagata, right, they say to look here to throw the person off, but also if you look at the person's face when you're gonna get involved in some sort of like Altercation is actually better to look at the chest rather than to the face If you look in the face, you can get drawn into a battle of sort of like Okay, so what the fuck is that?

What we're talking about. So what are you saying? Because there's a dog collar Sounds like the point you're trying to make is the Vicar wears a dog collar in case you get into gets into a tear-off Sounds like the point you're trying to make is the vicar wears a dog collar in case you get into a tear-off. The vicar wears a dog collar, I think, because that's the thing that people notice. Otherwise it's pointless. It's like when you walk down the street and you see fresh baked beans here, like one of those big ports on a golf sale.

Fresh baked beans? Explain to me where it is you're getting. I'd love to know where it is you're getting fresh baked beans. Where are you getting fresh baked beans from? I mean I know what ever leads to baked beans but they're an incredible part of any breakfast. Like if I was to walk by- I know that, but I very rarely have I seen- It's one of me and you can both have baked, yeah. It's one of the few things that me and you can both enjoy simultaneously. Yes, no, you're absolutely right.

If we're walking down the street and we're looking for someone to have breakfast and I was like, oh, fucking hell, sausages, bacon, fucking vegan sausages, mushrooms. Oh, fresh baked beans over here, mate. wonder, I've fresh baked beans over here mate. Yeah, I've done this. Okay, so what you're saying is a dog collar, you're saying the dog collar is there so that you know who you're dealing with.

It's a sign, yeah. Yeah, like a uniform. And your eyes engage. It's taken a long, long time for you to make something that I would describe as almost a point. But okay, but let's get into this. First of all, news resolutions. What is your news resolution?

Right, so I've got a couple. Number one, to make you feel more special. Number two, I want to learn to drive, I think, this year. I think that was my last year as well. But yeah, I really want to learn to drive this year. I think that was my last year as well. Okay. But yeah I really want to learn to drive this year. That's, you know, that's there. Why? Why can I ask? I feel like this is the time now. I feel like this is the only time we've actually wanted to drive. I've never cared for it otherwise but now I actually feel like actually I kind of need to. Right. I've got, you know, this is the time in my life I think actually yeah I actually want to do this thing.

Do you think we're getting to a point now when I was in Phoenix by the way they had I actually on more than one occasion got a driverless taxi. Yeah how were they like fine I like the taxi I'm like a taxi driver. I agree I agree I agree look I love I love I get black cabs a lot. I'm a big fan of that cabs. I'm a big fan of that cabs. I like the chat. I even like the chat when it gets a bit spicy and they're sort of they're sort of saying something that really is veering close to the edges of something you'd find unacceptable. I even enjoy that. Yeah, so yeah. But but I would say the say the driverless cars were fine. Absolutely fine. But I mean, I only took short journeys, but it seemed fine to me. Can you get your own driverless car and then just charge you everywhere? I'm sure that's not that far away. I am now, ever since the robot McDonald's incident,

I am loath to question you on any of your technological predictions. But I feel like I want to just accomplish this thing before I leave this mortal core. Has it caused you problems? No, it's not been said. It's just fancy doing it this year. It's just something I've been thinking about. But then I also worry that there's a thing where like as a tall guy when I ever see like people learning in cars, they're always quite small cars. Yeah. Is there a car big enough for me to learn in? I don't know if Steve Merchant or Greg Davis doesn't drive to see Drive. Don't know, don't know.

But I mean, we don't have to just base it on celebrities we know. Tall people do drive, don't they? Yeah, I guess, yeah. Well, there's no guess about it. Perhaps he's taller than me, and he drives. Yeah, well there you go, there you go. You've got your

Also what no, I worry sometimes I'd be that bad at driving There'd be the sort of thing that someone would sort of start telling anecdotes about how bad I'm at driving and then sort of soft Yeah, but then it's not As a stand-up. Yeah. Yeah, you're looking for material. I'll get it Look forward to that. So I think to be fitter, I want to really push my fitness goals. And also, you doing the marathon has really fucking inspired me. So I want to do something that feels like I've accomplished a sporting feat.

You know, the marathon is a sporting feat that you've done. Like, that is an incredible fucking thing. I don't know, you've talked a lot about it ever so much. is an incredible fucking thing. And I know you've talked a lot about it ever so much. Yeah. But it's like worth talking about. And I think fucking I like that in my in my locker. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, it's a great dinner. Dinner. Dinner party. I don't think it is. I don't think it is having run the marathon. You ran the marathon. I don't think it's it's not a

good anecdote. No. No, I don't think it's not a good anecdote, no. No. I've heard you turn around to people and be like, you know, my 18, I didn't even think I could fucking accomplish the fucking thing, mate. So you don't, you don't, because what I tend to do, let me explain to you what, on the wall for now, just as a thing, let me just talk to you about

what my strategy is. Sometimes when I'm giving you a bit of shit I'll take something that you have said and I'll exaggerate I'll put a bit of extra spice on it add a bit of VAT you just fucking invent stuff that's your strategy you just full on you just full-on make stuff up it's like doing a podcast with the Daily Mail. Was there a model that you did feel hot like you couldn't go on? No. Fuck off. No, it was hard like the whole way around. But there was there was never a point. Do you want to be there was never a point

when I thought I wasn't going to finish. No, that didn't cross my mind. No, you're like like that every great sports moment has a moment you go I don't think I can do this. Well I think that the difference is that my goal was completion so that's that is you know if I'd have got an injury or something then yeah then you're looking at a real test of will there. But the truth is I sort of chanted along at a fairly low pace, had about seven toilet stops, had a few chats on the way around. I mean, I would describe it as leisurely, my amble route.

Where's the toilet situation? What are those, just like portals? They've just got portals around the, but you are looking at losing 10 minutes from your time every time you decide to stop to have a toilet break. Because of the queues? No, just because of getting yourself because of getting yourself ready in a mental state to use the toilet. Yes, because of the cues. What a fucking question.

But it is a sporting feat. It's something I talk about when I talk about you. I say, you know, what about when he did the maths? It's fucking amazing. It is amazing. Until you've gone from where you went to fucking... And you're doing it again this year. I am, I talk about when I talk about you, I say, you know, what about when he did a marathon is fucking amazing. It is amazing. And to have gone from where you went to fucking and you're doing it again this year. I am Yeah, so you're you're you're fucking two in the hole. Well, you're not it's not competition is it?

But it's like you have you have a better time this year than last year. Who knows? Well, I know I know. I will put money on the fact you will because I know that's why you're doing it. I went for I went for a training run this morning. Absolutely disgusting. I mean, I think I'm probably worse than when I very first started. Can I say by the way, this is a very common theme in the New Year's resolutions. Okay. Let's hear these news resolutions and then I'm going to talk to you about why it is I've got a slight issue with them. All right.

Okay, cool. Okay, go. I'm not going to give names. But some 150 kilos and health issues, 2025 is a year. If I make it or break it, I need to drop the weight and be healthy for my five-year-old daughter. Motivating tips, please. You go first this time, because I'm used to this.

I think that's a better way. Motivating tips, please. What is the actual goal here? I guess it's to get fit. I think he's got 150 kilos and he's got health issues. So he wants to drop weight and be healthy for his five year old daughter, which I get, cause that's the main reason I've got fit.

Okay. If I was to give you advice, and obviously Tom and I have both gone through, you know, similar sort of weight loss journey, is that if you, I'm just telling you from my own experience, so one of the biggest mistakes that I consistently made was giving myself some big goal of I'm going to lose this amount of weight

by this amount of time, and I'm going to go super extreme to do it. I'm going to stop eating this, stop eating that, and da, da, da, da, da. What would tend to happen is I'd start trying to do that, I'd fuck it up and I'd go, okay, well I've failed now. Then I'll wait for another bit of motivation to hit and then I'll go, right, I'm going to go again. This time by Easter, I'm going to have done this. Then this time, but my big advice to you is is to just whatever change you make whether that to be be to eating or exercise or anything like that whatever change you make my rule was can I envisage

doing this forever right can I envisage doing this for the rest of my life? And if the answer to that is no, you need to think of something else, right? Like so for example, it's very easy to go not very easy It's an easy target we go I'm gonna run 60 kilometers a week. All right, that's my goal That's a great way of losing. I don't know 10 kilometer run Luke burns you about 600 calories you do that five times a week, right? So you're getting rid of 3,000 calories there, right? So are you going to do that for the rest of your life?

And if you don't think you're going to be able to do it for the rest of your life, then you need to think of an easier goal. And then what will happen is, you might go, I'm going to run once a week, or I'm going to do 10,000 steps a day, or I'm going to do 5,000 steps a day. And you start doing that.

And what happened for me is that once you started managing to achieve that, you would then go, oh, actually, I've managed to internalize this. I can step it up, and I'm going to start doing this going forward. And then in that way those things stick. So that's what I personally found exercise-wise. Diet-wise very, very similar. The truth is it is 80% kitchen, 20% exercise. Do you know what I mean? It's like it really is about, you know, that old sort is true It's is my tips are and I'm not a guru and I don't have any qualifications But it's like calorie deficit, you know, look at what your base calorie requirement is

Try and go a little bit under that don't go radically under that and make protein your friend that those would be my two tips That's what worked for me, is like protein is like what your body needs to recover from exercise and it's what fuels your muscles. But the main thing that I found useful about it is it makes you feel full up. So if you make protein,

what I found is if I made protein the main part of my meal or focus on protein, which is difficult for somebody or more challenging for somebody that's plant-based, then that sorted it out for me. And I would say take one day at a time. That is genuinely my advice. You go today, I'm going to try and do a bit of exercise and watch what I eat.

And all you've got to do is worry about today. And then tomorrow, you wake up and you go today, I'm going to try and do that again. That would be my advice. We much I'd echo that I think that the protein thing is like I always find if I have a breakfast that's high protein is for the rest of the day I'm not then snacking on shit and I'm like that was a big one I think for me as well like my whole thing of getting fit and if they might have changed in my life in the last four years was all about

right the corporate grades, so it's a similar thing to To this person in the fact that I think and then like everything I did But has been small goals and small thing like as you're saying really it was like I couldn't do a press-up You know embarrassing as I find that in myself and that's why I never really went to gym and like yes Five years four five years ago Yes, yeah when I did the other when I did a hundred press-ups a day for a month That was like a thing of like fuck. I couldn't even do a press-up two years before so it's like pushing myself to little goals And then but then even now like as a as a dad and as someone who's quite busy, you know busy with work

I've realised that actually like allegedly an hour in the gym is gone really, so it's like I can do half an hour and split something in the morning. But I think as well you've got to be in a place where you want to, like now it's probably, it's like my hobby, I enjoy training, I love weight training, I love walking, there's a family we go out and, you know, and also it's like, as what I said, I don't ever think about pushing yourself to it. I think you can't give up, you can't go,

right, I wanna become training every day, and I wanna give up all this food, I wanna give up alcohol, you know, all these different, if you try and give up too much too quickly, you'll never sustain it, and if you try to change your life so radically, very quickly, you'll never keep it up. if you try to change your life so radically, very quickly, you'll never keep it up. So I think as you said, it's small trade.

Like what I look back at now when I first started training and I was like 24, nearly 25 stone, you know, that was a point where I couldn't do most things. I was like not able to, I was like, and now, you know, five, six stone lighter is like, I can do more, but that's been a really slight, also, Stan, when I was first working out, Stan was very like openly like, look man,

this is gonna be something that you just, as you said, is slow, and it's gonna be life changing, but we can't do, I'm not gonna get you to, you know, it's gonna take a few years to get yourself in a better place, so. Yeah. I think it's taken up time, but it's gonna take a few years to get yourself in a better place. So I think it's taken up time. But it's also finding something as Rom's done with running and I've done I think with like weights

and training. I enjoy that. I find it good to push myself. Boxing I enjoy. So finding things that you actually enjoy and then it doesn't, it shouldn't feel like you're, you know, you're forcing yourself to do it. It should be like you should relish that and go I'm really enjoying that. And when it comes, I still eat like, I still eat two takeaways a week and I shouldn't because I've got some health problems

but I still find that's the hardest thing for me is the diet because I fucking love food. I feel like, I definitely, I would even say in the last year, I've probably put on a bit. And I could be better with my diet, but the truth is, this is where I'm at. Do you know what I mean? So I've had to accept... Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I don't have my ideal body, but it turns out I don't really want my ideal body, because what I would have to do to get my ideal body is not something I'm willing to do. So this is where we're at. Do you know what I mean? I can't be the guy that's measuring. I just can't be the person that's measuring out their food or thinking twice if I go out for dinner with Lisa about what I'm having. I will try and be careful.

If I have a big lunch, that will affect what I have for dinner and all that, and I'm more conscious in that way. But I just can't, I can't, for me personally, and I really respect people that do it this way, it can't dominate my life. I just, I can't live like that. Do you know what I mean?

The only thing I did find that, cause I was like, so glad that me and Catherine, or I'd go out for a a meal and it became a joke with friends or even when I've been out for food with you and I will order so much that I'll eat nearly everything on the table as you're well aware. So what I started doing is before I went out I'd have a protein shake before the meal. So that would literally as you said with protein it meant me that I'm not I wasn't as hungry

It felt like I was I was able to go and have something to eat and not be overly like ordering and that did that massively change That for me. Yeah Yeah, great. Thank you. The message one of the things that I've been slightly distracted about as I think I said 600 Calories around and then you're running six times. That's that would be three thousand six hundred calories So I'm ready. So you said six thousand calories at one point. Yeah, so did I do it? Okay. Anyway, yeah I was up with those pricks who corrects everything that someone else says No, you just rather let it go out and that person gets hammered on social media. No, I get it Okay, here we go, this is This is from the bald turkey. Be more organized, plans straight and jobs

straight in the house so I don't have to ask my missus what we're doing this weekend when she's already told me 94 times already. So just I guess making their life more organized. I mean I don't know I'm not a great person to talk to I cannot advise I'm not in a position to Advise you on this at all really I'm one of the most disorganized people in the country. If not the world You know previous to getting an agent I'd frequently be in a where I was supposed to be at three different gigs on the same night. I would often supposed to be at two different social things

in the same evening. I'd love to tell you that was rare. That would be like, we started calling them at home, Ramesh situations, where it would happen once or twice a week where I'm supposed to be at two or three different things on the Same night and it hadn't occurred to me until like five o'clock on the day I'm supposed to be at these different number of things. You know, I mean it's it's fucking insane

The way that I've dealt with it is I've asked Lisa to please Please not leave that I mean that's That's me the wire. That's me the way I've dealt with it, but I think that If I was to give any advice look the truth is what has sort of slightly helped me is Getting into a habit of writing shit down That's the key. That is the key. I've got like a Google calendar now and these are all such basic things but these are... I have a Google calendar and running that calendar I have

Flo, Lily, Antonia Right, I have like an amazing pick that I have Lizzie and Ollie and then Catherine's really really organized I have like six or seven people in my life who are incredible at doing that and I still will Organize stuff on the days of quite the things and have to have tech flow or text and Number of times I get awful even though I have this all laid out for me I'm fucking terrible the number of times I get a phone call from flow guy Ramesh. Why did you put that in? I've just seen you've put this in and I go. Yeah, she goes

Why did you put that in? I've just seen you've put this in. And I go, yeah. She goes, well, you can't do it. There's already a diary. Like, it's literally like in the diary, like literally right above your entry. There's something going on that means you can't do that. And I go, yeah.

I didn't even see it. I don't know what the hell's wrong with me. But I'm- I just had a situation in the car with Katherine in the space of 15 minutes where we organized to have a date because it's nothing I want to do. We want to do a date day a month. So we're like doing a date.

We're doing that. Evening. So it's like, OK, so she's like, cool, right. Really excited. We booked it in for the first week of January. She's really excited. I'm really excited. And then my mate called and went,

do you wanna go and play golf on the same day? And I went, oh, and I've got everyone allowed to play, and he went, yes, fucking I'm well up for that. I'm gonna play golf for ages. And she just stared at me and she went, are you gonna go? And I was like, yeah, I don't think we're doing anything else on that day. She went, yeah, we are, we've literally just planned

that fucking thing, you big doofus. I'm like, okay, we'll have to do it another day babe I'm playing golf. Well, we'll we'll have to do some more of these because we're out of time. We've got one more here. This is quite important one. This is from she's not giving me a name but she has to give it. It's hard because obviously I can see it. It's on Instagram. So she said news resolution learn how to run brothers told me I have a fat girl run

so changing it up it's an interesting one because I have an awful running style my running is I thought I had it was a good runner and then we made a show called action team and I remember actually people I think you could have heard my heart breaking within a 30 mile radius when when I watched the edit of me running up a hill and it was literally I found it so like literally just fucking broke me yeah so can you change your run you're what's your running style like how do you watch your math pretty bad I mean my my running style not elegant. My walking style is not elegant I don't like and you know, like when I walk so fucking walk. No, I haven't when I watch

I don't I don't I don't I don't like it. But look what I would say is In my opinion in my opinion anonymous messenger You don't need to change the way you run you can can, if you want to, you can work on it. If you really want to, and it's really bothering you, then go for it. But I'm telling you this, it's not bothering anyone else. Like, you just- And also, if you're enjoying running, that should be enough. Yeah, you're running.

Like, fuck what people think of how you run. Do you know what I mean? Like- Where it's her brother. Yeah. And also, it's a kind of brotherly banter that he'll give you, but I don't think he'd give me too much- Exactly. Like, you don't need to change the way you write me. You're running. It's great Well done. Do you mean like it's amazing that you're able to to go and do that

Fuck changing the style of your running. You don't need to do that. So that's my advice. That's beautiful first Yeah, all right, Tom. I do you want to? Okay, before you get into your little thing, I just want to say very quickly, I'm not, I said that I wasn't in favor of news resolutions. This is my quick thing, and we haven't got a lot of time, so I'm just going to very quickly say what my issue is. The my problem with news resolutions is it implies that you're not enough right now, and I don't like that.

Do you know what I mean? I don't like the fact that it suggests I've got to improve myself, got to change myself next I've got to change myself next year. And then you give yourself some arbitrary target that you're going to feel shit about yourself if you don't make it. Like if you decide, oh, I'm going to lose this amount of weight by the end of next year

and then you don't do that, somehow that year's a failure. No, it's not. I think this is what I'm putting forward, new day's resolutions. And all that is is every day you wake up and you go, this is what I'm going to try and be today. I'm going to phone a mate that I haven't spoken to for a while and make a connection with them. Or I'm going to go for a run today.

And if you don't make it, you're only one sleep away from correcting it, right? Rather than having to do with some year long thing, and then you give up and then you think, oh fuck this year, you haven't. You did great. Last year, this last year has been tough. You've got this far, you're smashing it.

Don't put some arbitrary target on your year that means that what you've done this far is like it's been undermined. You're doing fucking great. Don't let a new resolution make you think any different. That is my advice. Well, you know something? In a way where we've turned the tables

and I've read the emails, let's take it out there. That was a beautiful, beautiful summing up, my friend. And you know what? It's been a joy. And one of the things I'm looking forward to, and I will put a 12 month enjoyable feet on this is continuing to make this beautiful podcast with you. You're darling to be around and my God, I love every bone in your body and your

skin, your blood and your cartilage and all that. Yeah, I say, I feel exactly the same. Uh, thank you for joining us for another year. I hope you have a, or had a happy new year. Whenever this goes out, I hope 2025 is a great one for you and we will see you next time. Prosper and forward friends. Sailing on the ship that we call the Wolf and Owl. Should we do a song actually? Let's do a sweet song.

Okay. You know what, can I just say I had this song. Do you want to do the song? I normally do the song. Can I just say, can I just say there's a guy's a guy Ralph McTel I did the streets of London gig right he is written a song called the streets of London which is an incredible song and he's also so and he's known for that song that that's the song that everyone will know for but when we were there that night he he sang another song and I'm just gonna get it up now.

It's more of a Christmassy song, but as you retrospectively listen to it in New Year's Good. It's called The Things You Wish Yourself and he wrote this song. So anyone at Christmas, it's basically not, it's not celebrating just Christmas, it's celebrating. So whatever faith you are, wherever you're from, wherever you celebrate, it was just Bainsey saying that we should all just be in this together and it's like the things you wish yourself. It's

a really beautiful song and I encourage people, it's one of those things, when I heard it that night, I've listened to it a hundred times since. So Ralph Mattel, The Things You Wish Yourself, it's a very beautiful song. Okay, JT, play us out with that. Thank you so much guys, love you very much, we'll see you next time. Au revoir V voyage. Bye. Let it go, let it go May the season bring you joy And find you in good health

But most of all, I wish you all The things you wish yourself If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all please email us at wolfalpod at gmail.com that's wolfalpod at gmail.com We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.