Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 12: Spot Stories & Celebrity Trains

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

We’re talking… lofts vs attics, picking spots and traumatic pimple problems, crying in the toilets at work, some serious catastrophizing, Tom’s King’s Trust Gala with the lovely Pierce Brosnan... and a great email question about supermarket etiquette and a heinous trolly theft. Plus, more moral dilemmas - this time about owning a new social media platform and a load of celebrities tied to a train track. Who would you save? For questions or comments, please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: HELLO@KEEPITLIGHTMEDIA.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:46 Love Shine Plumping Lip Oil Gloss. Visit yslbe you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rode in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let em see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing
Starting point is 00:01:25 All you hear's a huff a puff and a huff Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Dog, dog Okay, let's do it, well for now Ramesh Ranganathan, Tom Davis This is, I'm gonna tell you right now Straight off the bat is gonna be an aggressive one Tom's on the floor again What is going on? I feel more cathartic on the floor. I need to get a website a internet specialist to my house
Starting point is 00:01:55 You need to get a fucking chair is what you need. Yeah I'm essentially in the attic is right, man Yeah Yes, this is Well, man. It's the yes, this is La dee da. Well, I think an attic is not. What's the difference between an attic and a loft? That's the same thing. Attic is I think just an American slang, right?
Starting point is 00:02:15 I don't know, because you're sitting in what you say is your attic and you've got a radiator behind you. If I did this, if I did this podcast from my loft It would be it'd be basically like a fucking haven for nature Like yours is decorated. Yeah, but it's a lot of conversion. So was that it converted? It's a nice Anatic. Yeah What do you use it for nothing at the moment? It's just a storage space for old crap and a
Starting point is 00:02:50 Fusty old 40 something who does a podcast up here with his chat. She's charming How are you good, well, you know what I've got this fucking spot on my nose Hmm, can you come a bit closer? I actually really want to say it fuck off Tom Why that is it's like's like a... I've got, anyway tell me about the spot because I've got some serious concerns myself. I'm really really worried about like a blockport. Like I have PTSD from bad spots. I remember being about 14, 15 going out on a date with a girl I really really liked. Going to the cinema. Alright shut up.
Starting point is 00:03:21 And I woke up the day of it and I had this massive yellowhead that just appeared out of nowhere. Like you know when you get a two headed spot, it's like got two sort of valves and my mum was like don't pick it, don't pick it. I was like boy I can't go out with this big yellowhead on my chin. She was like you'll make it look worse. And I saw the pus was right at the top of the thing. So I gave it a little squeeze and then that little, it took ages to get out. By the time I'd finished with it, it looked like I'd been shot in the chin.
Starting point is 00:03:50 I'd been cold in my chin. I think everybody makes that mistake. It's disgusting. And now I have such a, because this thing has got a white head on it, right? It's a big white head on this thing. And I've literally at some point, I'm like, do I pick it? I know that it's all people are gonna do
Starting point is 00:04:07 when they talk to me today is focus on that spot on my nose. But you're doing now. I can see you. I'm not. You are looking at the spot. I'm not. I'm just looking at, this is, actually, this is a great example.
Starting point is 00:04:20 You're in your head about it. I can't even see it on this zoom. So. You can, mate, you can see the color difference, mate. I can't even see it on this zoom. So you can make you could see the color difference. I look like fucking Rudolph. You always look like that. I've got like an old drunk's nose. Yeah, yeah, I always think I was like whenever I'm sent a list I'm gonna do we call you the cozy old drunk in our house. But you know, it coming That's what I said to the kids. We're going on to Drunk Uncle Tom's house. Oh, boozy.
Starting point is 00:04:46 Yeah, boozy. Oh, booze hound. I think you look fine. I think you look fine. Such a worry. When I was in my twenties, I had my first job at a uni, and I got a spot on my nose.
Starting point is 00:05:01 And at that stage, you know, like where I was working is full of 20 somethings everybody's like so It's just like an embarrassing scenario and also it's of the age where you get absolutely ripped for shit like that like proper rip Yeah, I mean yeah, and you sort of like I'm trying to be in my head Then I was trying to be a professional I had no idea that that job would end up to be so soul-destroying that I'd cry in the toilets But points at that stage What was the job?
Starting point is 00:05:28 Well that job was I was working I was doing pensions review or something I went through a phase of doing finance jobs and yeah you know they're great jobs and they're well paid. Did you legitimately go and cry in the toilet? I don't think I cried in the toilet. I did cry in the toilet as a cost analyst. I don't know if I cried. I know I got super down.
Starting point is 00:05:52 I know you're a cost analyst. Yeah, I was a cost analyst for an airline caterers. What even is a cost analyst? What you analyze all the costs and stuff, I guess. Yeah, it's a good stab at an attempt to understand what it is well done for that but no it's like it was for an airline caterers so we had like these airline airline clients and they would go so we'd have a load of chefs and the chefs put out an economy thing a business tray
Starting point is 00:06:21 thing and then a first class and then the client come over can we have this on this tray can we have this can we do a yogurt with this and da da da and then it's a bit like the apprentice yeah but then I'd have to work out how much it would cost how much we charge them to put that across their flight yeah it was like that I mean I wouldn't say I didn't say it like that but yeah that was essential. You have to charge them for the broccoli and for the cost of somebody putting it on there. There's a labour cost. That's 50p for your shrub of broccoli mate and then it's 5p for someone to put on the plate. Yeah it was that kind of workplace bullying that led to me regularly crying in the toilets actually.
Starting point is 00:07:03 kind of workplace bullying that led to me regularly crying in the toilets actually. You know, can I just say something to you right? Bear in mind that you are quite across mental health. When somebody says oh I cried in the toilet regularly and then you then ask them what was the job and then they tell you what the job was that made them cry in the toilet regularly to then go oh I want to watch you that you know that is one of the least it's one of the least sympathetic things I've seen you do actually I can say another example of what you on the floor is like as a person right I don't think you realize it it's like I actually think we're gonna get to a point I hope you're not doing fucking zoom meetings on the floor
Starting point is 00:07:42 because gonna get to a point where people have to stage an intervention and just gather you around and go, listen, I'm sorry, mate. We've had a chat. We'll be talking to Kat and everybody, chatting to some of your workplaces. You're a c*** on the floor. All right? We've been talking about it for a while. At first we thought it was an ongoing move thing, but then we saw you when you stood up and you're the same old lovable Tom. I mean, you're the same old lovable booze hound we've always enjoyed.
Starting point is 00:08:12 But now for some reason, when you sit on the floor, you flirt on the edges of racism, your levels of empathy are absolutely rock bottom. And some of that you display when standing up. What about being racist on the floor? I don't know. I'm, you know, I'm carried between the two. Now, I'll tell you what it is now. Now you're firing back. You've got both pistols out and you're having a right old good shoot up. Can I just say, Mike, from what you're saying about when you're a cost analyst for doing your broccoli and stuff,
Starting point is 00:08:41 what was the thing that made you cry? Because that doesn't seem like, was it just, it was so vanilla that it made you cry. Is this you trying to pretend to be empathetic now? Well, no, no, I'll take it back. I found it quite amusing the thought of you following people around, giving them prices on different bits of food that are going on the plate, right? I do find that quite funny.
Starting point is 00:09:00 And some are going, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm only, by the way, I'm only winding you up. I know you're winding me up, but I'm also, but I am quite enthralled to find out what actually was the thing that made you that upset. Well, basically what happened was, it didn't make me, it wasn't, it was sort of the job itself, what happened was, I was, and by the way,
Starting point is 00:09:23 I'm almost certain I've told this story before you know the whole sunglass story that we talked about yeah yeah yeah you can't say but away I like it it's two fucking idiots who sits sit together sit basically and by the way as this goes on our memories are gonna fade more and more yeah to the point where there is no point in new episodes generally just be it just be like two dusty old fucks who can't remember anything they've said to each other I was like everything the same thing that sung last story and you've told me in a personal life as well I think I've really enjoyed it. I've got a site. I actually every other thing. I put my reactions Yeah, it's a great story. It's a great. I don't need to tell it again because that would be insane
Starting point is 00:10:05 But anyway, I don't think you told us about I've never known you to talk about being a cost analyst for a bespoke airline. It wasn't for a bespoke airline, it's a good attempt. Right, so go on. So what was the thing that drove you to tears? One of the clients was Air New Zealand and they were like quite an important I don't know why they'd given me that client because I was too inexperienced, but they were like a big client It wasn't sorry wasn't any was it any soon? Maybe it was anyway. I was working on that thing and I'd but what happens is is like the airline chooses all the stuff and then you've got to like work out Ingredients and how much they cost and you've got to get in touch with suppliers.
Starting point is 00:10:45 You've got, it's quite a complicated job. Wow, it is complicated. Once you get used to it, the other people that were doing it were absolutely amazing at it, but I was still figuring out my way through it. Anyway, I did a whole costing thing, and I made a lot of mistakes, right?
Starting point is 00:10:58 Just because, for whatever reason. Well, you heard it since your first day. Yeah, it wasn't my first day, but it was my first time doing that job, right? So they said to me, oh, you've made some errors here, you've got to go through it and sort it out and blah, blah, blah. And I was in the middle of doing it.
Starting point is 00:11:13 And I just thought, this is like getting to me, but I'm just going to go to the toilet. And I went to the toilet and I sat in the cubicle and I just started crying that this was my job. So heartbreaking. I was just like, I can't, I can't, And I just started crying that this is my job. So I Just like I can't I can't it was a combination of two things one I don't think I can do the job too. I don't want to do the job Like I'm trying to get better at something. I don't want to get better at it's incredibly frustrating situation All right
Starting point is 00:11:40 Yeah The only reason I want to get better at is to avoid awkward conversations at work But what I don't I don't care about this thing. Do you mean so But you also don't want to be the worst person in the whole no, which I was right so I I cried and then I came back to my desk and I felt a lot better and then basically, I used to have like a sort of fortnightly or monthly cry in the toilet says every time it's starting to Every time I thought Oh God, this is fucking annoying.
Starting point is 00:12:07 I feel like I'm going to go and have a cry in the toilet. So then I went and did that. Can I just say by the way, although that is very sad and I do feel for you, but I actually think it's quite a good thing to do in life. Let it out. Well, sure. It is a good thing to do. What I would say is using it as an ongoing long-term coping strategy is not healthy so that's
Starting point is 00:12:26 when I'm gonna get out of dodge yeah yeah that's what I saw how long did you work there 18 months to something like that Jesus no we were crying every two weeks every two every two three weeks yeah I'd go and cry I mean the big fear is that's like about that's like 50 50 to cry as you did well You're there well the the the other thing Tom is is you know as you know I get very nervous about anyone hearing me shit Take that to another level what I would hate is for somebody from the office to wander and in here me sobbing in trap one Jimmy that I mean that was a no they don't know that you hate the job because you're quite good. You're quite good I'm incredibly good at masking. Yeah, don't probably think, you know who loves working here.
Starting point is 00:13:07 Two series of King Gary we did. You know exactly how good I am at masking, sort of resentment and regret and just anger. People be like, you know who really enjoys working here? Gets a kick every day, it's Romesh Ranganathan. He's always so happy. Oh yeah. Yeah, no, it was bad. But the airline catering thing was sorry the the
Starting point is 00:13:29 pensions of you thing was anyway I can't remember what the fuck we're talking about we're talking about acne and spots oh yeah sorry that was it bloody hell Tom well done man fuck me you worked out this morning yeah I've worked out this morning but also over time when I look the screen, all I can see is that big spot on my nose. Right. Anyway, I got a spot right on the bridge of my nose. It was starting to get worse and worse, and it just wasn't going away. So then I did what you did, and I popped it.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Then basically what happened is a fucking small cavern appeared on the bridge of my nose. Yeah, oozing for a long time. I would say that when I popped it that was my evening then, do you know what I mean? There was very little time for any other activities I was dealing with that and then it just sort of like dried and just looked like a massive kind of issue on my face. So then for some reason, I don't know if you've ever done this, I started getting more desperate in my techniques to try and cover it up. I didn't have makeup. What I did is I got like a gentle kind of exfoliator thing
Starting point is 00:14:35 and I started like trying to like sand it off almost, right? And then it got to, I don't know if you've ever had this, where I basically got blemish blind, where I couldn't tell whether it looked better or worse. I didn't know if you've ever had this where I basically got blemish blind where I couldn't tell whether It looked better or worse Whether what I was doing was improving the situation or not and so I got to a point where I thought well Look, I can't I can't do this forever I'm gonna have to accept that this is what my face looks like now if that happens to me
Starting point is 00:14:59 I'll just get some makeup on it. But then then you know also do is like with if it it's on right on the bridge of your nose is put a plaster over it and pretend that you got punched in the face. That's a great start. Then you've got a good story and also but I say in the financial sector in which you work if you like turn up and go oh my god fucking hell you know Ramesh Ranganathan yeah he's been punched in the face fucking hell and then you're the edgy fucking fool. Yeah that's a great point. Cost analysis.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Everyone's like oh my god he's so cool. Yeah, that's not what happened What happened was is that I assumed it was alright I went into work the next day and then somebody that I worked with who was particularly honest So came over to talk to me about something and then when I turned around from my desk He said is your nose decaying? I will never forget It's exactly the wording? I will never forget. It's exactly the wording you,
Starting point is 00:15:46 I will never forget for the rest of my life. And then like, it's that thing of like, the horror of realizing what you thought. Did he laugh or did he, was it a joke or was he genuinely worried? It was one of the jokes that you do where you know, it's sort of, it's quite funny what he said,
Starting point is 00:16:01 but actually it's masking a real sort of venomous thing he wanted to say to me so he was seriously I mean and then then I went to the bathroom looked in the mirror and I was like fuck it does look bad and but then I was up where This is it. This is my day now Do you mean until I get until I get on with the sandpaper tonight? I'm gonna have to Weeping was it weeping it wasn't weeping it just looked like What's the best way of describing it? You know we're like a character in a fantasy film gets bitten by a creature and then the infection kind of spreads like
Starting point is 00:16:42 Yeah, it looked like that was happening from my nose. It started. Yeah, it was, Did you ever worry about getting like gangrene in it and your nose, Yeah, I did. I genuinely, I genuinely worry about that sort of stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:55 You start to like really fucking catastrophize about what might happen. Yeah. It sort of go, so this is, and then I started thinking, do I need to Google? Incidences where people have had to have their nose amputated because they fucked around with the spot so much That's what I worry about ingrained hairs every day
Starting point is 00:17:12 Yeah, at least 25 minutes of my day like a different time like all in one here. I think about ingrained hairs I've got any right here. This is a horrible thing. I'm about to say I got an ingrained hair at the top of my butt crack It's it's in Jim have one in exactly the same place. It's one of the most Maybe it was a sympathy hair, but genuinely It was horrific. Absolutely. How have you got it out Lisa? Or did you get out? Nobody got it out to just fucking wait for it to sort of resolve itself But you've got to get out because that's what you don't make they can fucking grow so long. They've wrapped around your spine Okay, so again again
Starting point is 00:17:54 I'm talking about things that we're frightened of and things that are worried about and Catastrophizing I've shared that with you and then I've said to you that I've got a bum hair and you've got it can wrap around my spine. Right, can I just say, where do you think it's gonna go if it gets longer and longer and longer? Because the hairs grow right? Yeah, I know. I mean look, I don't need to fucking tell you that.
Starting point is 00:18:15 You've got lovely long hair, right? The fact is mate, hairs will grow. One of my friends, he had an ingrown hair, did not do anything about it, it grew and grew and grew and before you know it, he had a lump like that on his leg, on his thigh, and it was just disgusting. And when they got it out, they were like, this is going so badly infected, it could have led to sepsis. It was like, if you touched his leg, and you'd get people to touch it in a pub, it was like, you could literally fry an egg on it. Well, I mean, I don't know...
Starting point is 00:18:41 His name was... By the way, if you want his name... I don't want his name. JT, can you beep out his name? But the thing is, what I'm saying is, I've got no symptoms now. As in it sort of seems to have, I don't know if it's self-corrected. But they're like the hidden, basically they're like ninjas in Grand Hairs. They're creepy. That could be creeping and getting deeper and deeper without you even knowing. I'm not experiencing any discomfort or pain or anything.
Starting point is 00:19:04 Have you checked it out in the mirror? I feel like I should have a look at this for the next year. and get deeper and deeper without you even knowing. Yeah, but I'm not experiencing any discomfort or pain or anything. Have you checked it out in the mirror? I feel like I should have a look at this from the next ear. We'll come round on the 20th. No, don't do it in front of the family. I'm seeing you next week. Well, we'll go to a separate room, can't we? I'm not suggesting we do it over dinner, but I'm not going to bend over over the tofu rice. Well, I'll be able to keep my hands off it. If I think it's fucking getting infected I
Starting point is 00:19:27 Tell me this happened a long like quite a long time ago, and it's like fine now my god I know I really am experiencing regret of bringing this up. It's this you know What one of my biggest fears? I know I knew someone who got one on the back of his balls and that was he said that was the worst thing ever happened to And he got bitten by an XL bully so that was worse okay okay please God can you get some fucking furniture this is unbearable it's absolutely unbearable you don't know what you're doing, but you have changed man. You're different. Do you really think I've changed?
Starting point is 00:20:06 You're different upon the floor. Do you know what I mean? Oh, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay. With the Fizz loyalty program, you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan You know for texting and stuff and if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan You're not with Fizz switch today conditions apply details at Fizz.ca Right, would you like some moral dilemmas Tom? Oh boy hit me some moral dilemmas, my G. Oh, by the way, very excited. Still some tickets left for the Kings Trust next week. This time next week, an amazing lineup.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Ramesh Ranganathan, Laura Smith, Jack Skipper, Josh Riddikumar-Matsadas and myself hosting, all for the Kings Trust at Hackney Empire. Come along. There's a few tickets still left. Why are there still tickets left? Well, I don't know. I probably haven't pushed the gig enough. I'm sort of being yeah, sort of using Instagram for other stuff. Yeah. But didn't you do you know, do you know do Kings? Kings
Starting point is 00:21:15 Trust thing the other day? Yeah, but that was like a gala thing hosting. Pierce Brosnan. Yeah. Did you tell him I said I like my what a legend of a guy of you man Then I did Cinderella with him. Oh My what a lovely man. Do you know he's everything that I hoped you would be a more nice to be the James Bond I want Amazon to make now is like him put still playing James Bond, but he's like retired around the dude sir, I
Starting point is 00:21:43 Don't know. I've got no idea. I mean, there's been quite a few people said it mean you'd be quite a good James Bond and Q. So we should maybe pitch that Amazon. Yeah, who would you want to be James? But you'd be the James Bond. I'd be cute. Right? No, first of all, we know that. Can I tell you what? can I tell you what happened? You can't have a full James Bond. Can I just say but at this Kingsguard I did I made a joke about Yeah, keep his bosoms there. So I said, oh, you know exclusive for everyone in the room I've been offered the job of James Bond on the new James Bond false first ever ball James Bond double-o-seven follic Lee challenged Yeah, got a bit of a laugh. Did okay. And then um, yeah Pierce go back to me when every time you're struggling every time you're struggling Go with the James Bond stuff. It's killing in there son. It's killing. Did he really say that? Yeah, it was great You know, it was like having your dad in your audience every time I sort of bombed a bit
Starting point is 00:22:40 We should do it those corporate things you just pop his thumb to go go for it of it which you do it those corporate things you just pop your thumb to go go for it they're very hard so um right tom this is something that i um actually was reminded of uh i'm not reminded of i was introduced to him when i was watching inside number nine on the way back from uh robberon and um oh by the way how was rob was Robin wrong here in India? How do you go Robin? Ron was excellent Tom? What hasn't been excellent has been I've had the shits ever since so she into I've been training for the marathon Yesterday I went for a run and for the last I would say 20 minutes of it. I was convinced There was a good chance. I was gonna ship myself out on the run and then as I was running up, Lees had been out with a
Starting point is 00:23:28 mate of hers for coffee and they were walking up like the same bit where I was like sort of finishing my run and I walked up ran up alongside them and then stopped to say hello but I didn't want to start. Sorry can I just say one thing when you go past Leeson to say hello how are I didn't want to start. Can I just ask, sorry, can I just say one thing? When you go past Lisa to say hello, how are you doing that hello in that friend? Well, I've not met her friend before, but I just sort of went, oh God, I mean, I was out of breath and I thought I was going to shit myself.
Starting point is 00:23:58 So it's sort of like, let me just sort of, I'm going to try and get into the mode of that, sort of this. Get it, it's expecting. All right, fancy seeing you here. Yeah, no, lovely to meet you. I've got to go. I've just got to go because I'm on the, against the clock here.
Starting point is 00:24:15 All right, see you in a bit. All right, bye. Like this, like that. I think it's better to say you're going to shoot yourself than you have to get against the clock. Yeah, I know. Well, it was bad. I don't know if Lisa knew what was going on. She sort of
Starting point is 00:24:27 didn't try and stop me. She's like, okay, cool, see ya. You're probably in the middle of a nice conversation. Sometimes those conversations when you've had a nice coffee, you're walking back and then the conversation takes a turn. You're like, oh, this is the best part of the chat so far. Yeah. And also there's a lot of time when I suspect that Lisa is having conversations with her friends that she would not like me to be party to I don't know if you feel like the back out but sometimes they relate to me third-hand by one of her mates it sort of becomes clear what they've been
Starting point is 00:24:56 talking about is fucking disgusting right anyway so I was watching Inside number nine and this problem came up in one of the episodes, which is that show by the way. Okay. It's called The Trolley Problem. Okay. You notice five individuals tied to some train tracks. Oh Jesus, who are they? It doesn't say, I'm just-
Starting point is 00:25:20 This is the trouble, they're so fucking sketchy these things. Well okay, do you wanna fill in the details after I've read the whole problem? Okay You know, it's five individuals tied some train tracks a train is coming right at them You don't have the ability to untie them in time However, you could pull a lever divide diverting the train to another set of tracks But in doing so you'd kill an innocent bystander who is tied to those tracks
Starting point is 00:25:50 This fuck's tied up all these people? What kind of psychopath has basically put the life of five, then there's what like that is the worst thing if you're that one person on his own right and they've tied five think I might have got away with this and I know you haven't you're coming with me mate I want to tie you up over here Yeah, I don't look I mean what one of the things that's useful in these is to sort of And when I say assume I mean except they're hypothetical there is no backstory to this Hypothetical because the question is back story to make them fucking put have a purpose the purpose is what would you do? There's no you don't need to know the backstory. So what basically I've got the late. So, okay I'm sat on the fucking floor. I don't know who the five people are the five people just really come
Starting point is 00:26:36 Tom Tom you can't you cannot Tom Tom Do I I do not want Josh and Dinesh tied to the tracks in this scenario please. Okay, right, you give me the five names in the one name, I think that's going to be easier. Okay, fine. Rob Beckett. Well, he's one of the five. Yeah, Catherine Ryan, Sean Walsh, Dan Byrne. What, Newcastle's Dan Byrne? Drake and one of the waiters from your local
Starting point is 00:27:16 Indian restaurant. And then on the other track is Danny Dyer. Oh man, fucking hell that is so hard. No, no, I mean that's part of the, do you know what's amazing is that you can't engage with this until, this is like something about your personality and I think it's quite sweet actually
Starting point is 00:27:39 is that in order for you to really engage with this you need to have some faces on those people. It's good. The trouble is, right, one of the big dilemmas for me is, right, if five people are gone, it's a horror, you've got five deaths on you, right? But it's almost worse if you push that lever and it's just one person and you have to then turn to their family and go, oh yeah, it was them five, it was just him. So, sorry. I mean, that's, that's the thing is you either, you either stand there and let it happen.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Does that feel worse than pulling the lever and actively killing Danny Dhar? If you pull the lever, essentially you're involved, right? You're a man, this man's sort of, if you watch it happen, you're not involved, you've not done anything. You just, you've just not got there in time to save them. I mean, what's the train driver doing? He's insane. Can we let's just assume it's a runaway train or something. There's no driver. What's the driver? Has he been as if the
Starting point is 00:28:42 job has been chloroformed, right? So he's I guess so. Yeah, it's been chloroformed. If that helps you with the... I guess so, yeah, he's been chloroformed. If that helps you with the... Well, it helps him as well, because the one thing you don't want as a train driver is to have that... I mean, yeah, for all we know, he could be the instigator of the whole bloody thing. He's not going to be... Mate, can I just say, by the way, logistically, he's not going to be able to tie five, six
Starting point is 00:28:59 people up on different parts of the track, then go and start his job on the fucking track on the train. Well, I didn't say he was working alone, did I? It's a good chance that he's paid somebody to do it. Well, he's working with him. You can either go home with six or seven. Train drivers have friends, don't they? You might have got a group together.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Yeah, but what I'm saying, you're not going to basically get this. What I'm saying is that group, that group. This is a six-man job, Rom. This is a six-man job. Fine. You've got a train driver. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:29:21 You've got a getaway driver who drives the people in a van. Right? Right. Then you've got the people who are there. That's not a train driver. Yeah, right. You got some getaway driver who drives the people in a van, right? Then you've got the people who are Drivers get away isn't it? You're you'll get way Fucking sitting around you're describing as a get-to driver. He's not taking so okay. He's basically a coach He's a he's a minibus driver. He's very very near and back All right, then you need at least fucking three or four people to tie people to the tracks Yeah, and keep the other people at the same way you're doing it. Yeah keep the other people entertained Well, yeah, you don't want to tell them what's happening, right? Well, they've got an idea
Starting point is 00:29:53 They're seeing the other people getting tied to the track I don't think they're gonna think think what surprise are they got in still for me? The fucking train tracks, he's got a shitload of rope. I Wonder what he's gonna do. If you're the fifth person he's gonna- I feel sorry for Danny, because Danny's on his own, so you've not even got anyone to talk to it about.
Starting point is 00:30:11 So you're just in your own head there, and they go, fucking hell, that's Tom Davis. Is he gonna press the lever in my way? Yeah. Well, I'm assuming that- Yeah, Rob and Catherine have both got young families. Dan Burn, in a way way has fucking smashed it already with everything he's done. Not that he should die crushed by a train but...
Starting point is 00:30:30 No. I mean I think Dan Burn's best years are ahead of him aren't they so there's that to think about. He'll be quite a good manager because I think he's got an infectious nature or a good pundit. Yeah. There you go. Are these things you're thinking about as the trains approaching? Also, do you know the person I feel sorry for is well the waiter for my local Indian restaurant. Yeah, cuz I actually don't know his name So he in the papers that would just be Dan burn Katherine Ryan Rob Beckett Sean Walsh and a waiter from a Indian restaurant. They wouldn't even name him. He's got a family
Starting point is 00:31:02 He's got fucking people who care. Yeah, I don't know why I said I've said Drake didn't I? That's six people. Yeah. Yeah. I mean if Drake was in the place of fucking Danny Dyer I've got no fucking hesitation pushing the lever. I pull the lever regardless even if it wasn't anyone in the other tracks Just kidding guys, this is Jack Boy this is... I think I'm gonna have to stand there and watch it happen. Wow. Wow. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Five people dead because you didn't pull the lever. No, no, no, no, no, no. You pulled the lever and hit Danny Dyer. No, no, no, no, no, no, hold up. You said I pulled the lever and it goes onto the other track. To hit Danny Dyer? Yeah. Oh, right, so you pulled the lever. Yeah to the other track to hit Danny Dyer. Yeah You pull the lever. Yeah, I'd have to Danny died dead
Starting point is 00:31:52 Yeah You choose you choose I feel like a piece of shit for the shoes to kill Danny Dyer. I Wouldn't choose to do it Choosing to kill it. Look at look at rock mate. If I could I fucking jump in front of the train myself Listen, yeah, listen As strong a boy as you are. I think it's gonna carry. Yeah, it'll just take us all out and then fuck it Most of yeah, I mean if there's anything if there's anything worse Than being killed by train. It's being killed by train It's got Tom Davis strapped to the front of it like a teddy bear on a horse
Starting point is 00:32:23 So can I just say Danny is a fucking legend and a hero and I think Danny, this is what Danny would go, pull the fucking lever Tom, pull the lever mate, pull it, I'll take the fucking train. He's a hero. Alright mate, I'll do it, I'm so sorry Danny. Sean would be like, I bet he won't pull the lever, fucking fat useless prick. This is classic Tom Davis. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Yeah, OK. Well, there you go. That's that one solved. Do you want another one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like these. OK. You've just successfully launched a social media
Starting point is 00:33:00 company that allows users to debate, discuss, and share information about a variety of issues. OK? Initially, this seemed to go great, and a lot of genuine dialogue was generated. However, recently, you notice that a lot of people, and even some organizations, are either intentionally or unwittingly sharing information
Starting point is 00:33:17 that is false or misleading. Christ almighty, this is so fucking on the noses. I wonder if this could happen in real life. Eh. Moreover, these false posts seem to be generating a lot of interest on your platform. Some of these false posts are even being made by prominent politicians.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Fuck me, do they email this directly to Zuckerberg? Do you have a moral obligation to flag or remove this false information? Do you have a free speech obligation to allow users to freely voice their views if they're spreading misinformation? What should you do as the owner of this social media platform? Fuck me. I mean, that's a pretty simple one, right? Is it? Well, you want to have like, yeah, you want it to be like anything said on your social media platform
Starting point is 00:34:03 should be correct and right and true Right, but the only trouble with that is that people don't give a fuck about that. What do you mean? Well people want to look at stuff that is fucking nasty and mean and horrible and rather than look at stuff that's fucking happy and Inspiring and like fucking as an element of fucking hope about it. People wanna, yeah, that's why people can get consumed by things like X or TikTok.
Starting point is 00:34:32 It's what me and you talk about fucking Bevo and body blue and people like that. They're fucking these negative fucking forces and that was obviously lesser of those. But it's like, yeah, people, I think if you had a social media platform, which is essentially what threads was trying to be and there's another one out at the moment I can't even remember its name because it's so decent and true if I'd love it if there's a social media platform where
Starting point is 00:34:54 everyone just went on it was just nice how are you Bill I'm right Mark hey Sarah doing that would be like what face first I'd yeah I mean you I think you're describing text thing, aren't you? No, no, no. But like Facebook, when it first started, there was a real air of like fun towards Facebook. Yeah. You could play pranks, you could have a laugh.
Starting point is 00:35:14 Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I mean playing pranks, you know, I would sort of argue is a sort of form of light bullying. But you and I are sort of very different on the... Yeah, but like, you must have loved getting on someone's Facebook and doing a status. Oh yeah, I did do that actually. That was one of the funnest things back in the day. Do you remember when it said it would be like Tom Davis is, and then they got rid of is, didn't they?
Starting point is 00:35:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Contemplating my ongoing journey through life. Hashtag dickhead quotes. Do you like the dickhead quotes? I love them. I think they're imaginative. They're always different. It's a nice thing to do, nice little positive thing to do.
Starting point is 00:35:58 I like it. Yeah, I'm just a bit consumed by them. Are you going to put them all together in a book, do you think? Maybe. maybe it's an easy way of writing a book is just a load of dickhead quotes. Yeah Really put my gender used to be my favorite person to have his uh known from your hip-hop Podcasts, but I used to love getting on his Facebook wall. That was my favorite thing back in the day. Yeah Yeah, you like you don't you quite like bullying rematch, didn't you? No, I just love rematch. He's one of my favorite people. He's just such a he's he sent me what I'm trying to find it now. He
Starting point is 00:36:30 sent me one the other day where I is it on here? Oh, God, he's just sent me a picture here. Look at that. Look at me there. Christ. Oh my god. What the fuck man? Is that really you? Jesus. That's where that's that's the place of time my life where I was like, I actually might have to do so about my way. What is that? When is that? What are you doing in that photo? I cannot believe that. I look like I look like a
Starting point is 00:37:02 35 year old woman has been caught shoplifting in JD sports. Amazing photo. That's an incredible check. Look at look at the difference of a snack. Look, how long ago was that? How long ago is that? I think that's the first series of the curse. First year. Yeah, that's five years ago. Yeah, four or five. Yeah, about four or five years ago. Yeah, four or five. I don't know, about five years ago, yeah. Wow, okay. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:37:28 I looked like I was about, I looked like I was probably about three weeks away from a mass heart attack, like genuinely. I was 24 stone. Yeah, but you know, you've changed it now. We are getting, I'm sorry, I'm just getting ready to do some emails, by the way. And I cannot understand some of these emails we're getting. This is genuinely an email we've got into. Hello, I'm not gonna say the name.
Starting point is 00:38:08 I'm new to, this is genuinely what this email says. The subject is pace of play concept. Hi there, my name is blank. I'm new to the sport, so I don't know who to reach out to with this idea, but I found this contact, so here it goes. Goal, get rid of shot readiness. You hit the ball in the time allocated How set it to the current median of the time it takes players to hit the shots?
Starting point is 00:38:35 Progressive penalties for what the fuck what the fuck is this sounds like a fucking cool game. That's what sounds like Yeah, but why are we getting this at the wolf for now bloody? We get a lot of people asking to be guests on the podcast Got who's wants to be a guest? Just like random people. Like there's a, I'm not going to name and shame anybody. There's lots of people that have paid PR to get them onto podcasts. And loads of comedians have been like, suggested for the podcast and they've gone,
Starting point is 00:38:56 they really love listening to it. And I thought if they really love listening to it, they'd know that we don't have guests. But I'm not going to, I'm not going to name and shame. Oh, you have to text me them later though. I will do. Um, okay. Uh, this is from Jules B.
Starting point is 00:39:10 Okay, you ready for this? Um, dear Wolf and Al, I have a question about shopping trolley etiquette. Recently my wife and I were... What was that? What was that you're doing there? No, just shopping trolley etiquette is a big thing in my house. Yeah, I can imagine. Recently, are you a Costco member?
Starting point is 00:39:29 I wish I was. I dream to be. I know. It'd be so sick when I just get like a massive thing of baked beans. Oh my God. I'm addicted to baked beans in my house at the moment. I love baked beans. Mate, I love baked beans. You know what? I like Heinz, but fucking Bramston really have come out the outside lane and Branson a smear their baked beans are beautiful. I saw
Starting point is 00:39:49 Mark Wright's Talking about the fact that I'm pretty sure his favorite and Marks and Spencer's baked beans Well, really miss if you've also isn't he sponsored by Marks and Spencer's like everyone else now. That's a by the way There's a lot of people, there's people I like and respect, but fucking Marks and Spencer's have really narrowed in on really handsome fucking white dudes to get their fucking product out there. Jamie Redknapp.
Starting point is 00:40:15 Mark Wright, Paddy McGuinness, Spencer Matthews. Are they all? Yeah, all MNL's and ambassadors. There's no one normal in that. I mean, Paddy's a man of the people My I watched that video Holy shit, MLS ambassador's mark Ryan Spencer Matthews. They're just fucking they're just signing up hoodies This is why this is like fucking alienating people. Why is it alienating people? Why is it alienating people? Because everyone is, look man, do you know, I'm an Aldi or fucking Tesco's or whatever guy mate, you fucking want me in part of that shout me out, right? But I'm telling you now that there's all very much of an ilk. Isn't that Jodie Kidd an ambassador, fucking Holly W V. So this is how Marks and Spencers are repping now? Yeah, Marks and Spencers.
Starting point is 00:41:05 I didn't realise that. Look, I've got nothing against it. Make your point. No, no, but they've got a type, haven't they, Marks and Spencers? Yeah. By the way, can I say Jamie Rednet's Marks and Spencers little advert that he's doing are very entertaining. I really enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:41:18 You know the one that I love is the one where he's doing the little shop and he's going around going, get a couple of these. I'm afraid he loves these, get a couple of these. Yeah, I afraid he loves these, get a couple of these in. Oh, I didn't even know they did peppers. Let's get a couple of those in there. All of that, I love it. I quite like, do you know what I think?
Starting point is 00:41:39 Jamie is, can I tell you by the way, Jamie, we've only ever had one guest on this podcast, I'm happy it was Jamie, he's such a sweet. One of my favorite people in the world. You know what I think would be great online content is people taking you around with them when they do their weekly shop. You didn't, I think Lee Francis did that,
Starting point is 00:41:55 like a version of that. No, that's like when he went around with the celeb. I'm talking about you, you, going, you personally, going to a supermarket, just stick a phone on your trolley. Just talk us through what you're doing Just go around there. Maybe I'll do that. Just I need some content. My company's really shit now No, you got the ticket quotes. Yeah, I know that's I'm sorry something like By the way, my fucking shopping is usually cafe doing show me sprinting around trying to catch grace And so I'm like panting grace just loves to see she loves bedlam in the supermarket. Loves by the way going down the wine
Starting point is 00:42:28 section and trying to push over bottles that's her new thing. I think that's cool and stress-free for you. I, we don't do it anymore. Oh yeah, you're a cardo? No, we get like Tesco's do the delivery thing and then the guy turns up at our house. I've got to say man, I love a fucking supermarket. I just don't think, I think you forget things are fucking adorbing. No, I want to forget things. This is a problem. This is a problem. If I'm in a supermarket, that adds. Don't you miss the vibe? Hello Vera, hello Clive. I mean, it's like fucking. Sorry, what, what, can I just ask a question? What year is your, what year does your supermarket
Starting point is 00:43:06 exist in there's old people who work in my supermarket the sweet old people hello Vera hello Clive now fuck you now yo yo Katherine is vibing over here at the fish counter grace loves the fish counter it's fucking I love a supermarket he's one of the most cherished parts of my week he's going for the big shot Yeah, it's it well good for you But the problem was is at least and I would almost always argue women to supermarkets were to take it away I love I don't know this. I don't know just like
Starting point is 00:43:36 We've got a different attitude to shop in I guess I'm very I'm very expansive and all encompassing and sort of get very I do a lot of impulse purchasing. Lisa's very much- That's what I love though. Yeah. If you go in there and you've got no idea you're gonna buy sushi rice and you buy sushi rice and then someone goes, oh, you're never gonna cook that
Starting point is 00:43:53 and you go, fucking watch this, get home and cook it. Even though if you don't know how to make sushi, at least you've done what you said you were gonna do. How are you communicating to that person that you've done that then? Well, no, because that person she lives in the house. Oh, I see. no, because that person from Gafferty lives in the house.
Starting point is 00:44:05 Oh right, I see. So you say that person. That person from Gafferty. We don't need that, we've got enough sweet corn. You never have enough sweet corn. No, that's true. That is true. One of my issues is I buy a lot of breakfast cereal. That causes a lot of problems in our health. Breakfast cereal or traders. That causes a lot of problems in our health. Breakfast cereal or trade cereal. Okay. Recently my wife and I were shopping at a well-known wholesale warehouse, Costco. The visit always requires a certain amount of patience
Starting point is 00:44:34 as the warehouse can get very busy. It's not unusual for us to reverse shop, which isn't really an etiquette issue in my opinion. It's gonna make sense to mix it up and live dangerously going against the normal flow of traffic That's fine on this occasion Why I actually bought away I think supermarkets have got I do agree with the person in the sense and the fact that I think Supermarkets have got it wrong on the basis. I think all the fridge and freezer stuff should be at the end
Starting point is 00:45:00 Well from the beginning which I mean, it's not your salad Yeah, it's your first firstly when you walk into Tesco's, Waitrose, Sainsbury's, is you go through your salad and your potato, you know, you've fucking pinched all through by. That's not what it's like in my Tesco. Really? Yeah. I've been to your Tesco's. What?
Starting point is 00:45:18 You've been to Haysworth, Thrubridge, Tesco? Yeah, I have been there. When I came to your house, we went there because Grace had a little poo. Yeah, and it wasn there when I come to your house. We went there cuz graceful in the poo. Yeah, and it was God and but you but then so, you know then it's not I can't remember the logistics of it. No you go to fuck The first thing yeah, I'm just saying as far as I'm aware No, I'm telling you now I can't I've never been in a test any supermarket that your first hit isn't fucking salad and vegetable fruit
Starting point is 00:45:50 that's always the first hit. No not the one at Free Bridges. What are they doing then? Head office have fucking just said oh well Three Bridges one could have its own fucking. I guess so. I guess so. I don't know what to tell you mate. You get so fucking angry about it. If I could shake someone's hand and fucking say, well done, I commend you will be the fucking manager of three bridges, Tesco's for actually going against type and not being bullied into like just conforming to sort of norm. But let me just say, in every fucking supermarket I've ever been to in my life, that's a run out.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Salad, veg, meat, cold meats, cheese, cheese dairy freezer then you get into yeah we don't need to go through the whole thing but the point is that it should be flipped the whole thing should be why should it be for I do this because number one your salad ends up at the bottom so your lettuce all gets crushed by big fucking by cans of drink and fucking whatever right all the heavy items are getting to you cleaning products these are good great points great points right great points. Right, also the fact that if it's on a quite warmish day,
Starting point is 00:46:49 it means all of your cold stuff's right at the bottom. So when you're trying to get it out of the fucking trolley, or it's in the trolley, it's out of its refrigeration or freezer department longer than it should be. Yeah, no, these are all really good points. And actually, you know what? What I think about Floor Tom, a little bit ang angrier but got a little bit of logic to him as well yeah get to the gist of it get to this sort of the novel you're trying to say
Starting point is 00:47:16 do you agree with this person or not about the reverse shot I don't think you should reverse I think you should go I think you should conform or go around with it so you should just accept the shit situation I just think it's gonna be busy regardless. It's even worse if he's coming down on his big lay back Fucking trolleys when those big ones and he's coming against like, you know, it's driving down the wrong side of the road What are you doing? You fool? Yeah, I understand On this occasion a question about etiquette arose out of the blue and I was utterly shocked I'd left my wife momentarily to check out the condiments aisle and by
Starting point is 00:47:48 the way just speaking of condiments. Great aisle. It is great aisle. I have recently brought chicken salt into my life. Oh man, it's amazing. Yeah celery salt, garlic salt. Oh my god man. This is vegan chicken salt. I think celery salt, garlic salt. Oh my God, man. This is a vegan chicken salt. I think, I fucking hope so. Let's look it up now. I'm pretty sure I checked it. I think it's like, it's got like spices in it.
Starting point is 00:48:14 Chicken salt. If chicken salt's got chicken in it, I'm about to end this podcast immediately. No, because I don't know why it's called chicken salt. Ingredients. Salt, rice flour, dextrose, onion, garlic, spices, flavor, No, because I don't know why it's called chicken. So ingredients Salt rice flour dextrose onion garlic spices flavor yeast vegetable or soy sauce powder chicken No, I'm just fucking about anti caking agent. Oh, there you go This is chicken salt. Yeah, there you go. It's vegan
Starting point is 00:48:42 While traditional chicken salt may contain animal derived ingredients Brands now offer Vegetarian options. Okay. Oh, so there you go traditional chick. There you go. This is where it comes from traditional chicken salt Contains chicken bouillon, but the modern ones don't Be on somebody by the way, what is boo? Yeah, yeah. I love saying it it Boo Young. Yeah. Anyway, listen, we've got distracted here I'm really worried. I've not been today has been a real fucking shit one for me. You've been brilliant today No, no, no, no, you've been a missive you've been kept kind you've been considerate You've had a beautiful way about you and you should never hesitate in knowing that. Okay. Thank you. All right, bloody else
Starting point is 00:49:21 Are you on a small cushion? No, I'm gonna get a fucking chair. Can I say my hamstrings are just absolutely popping at the moment. You know what I'd like to say to you? I love the jumper, I love the hat. You're looking good today, bro. Nice work.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Yeah, thank you very much. On this occasion, the question about etiquette rose out of the blue. I was utterly shocked. I had left my wife momentarily to check out the condiment sale and parked the trolley out of the way of the other customers. When I returned, having carefully selected the
Starting point is 00:49:46 finest condiments, to my astonishment my wife had informed me that she'd spotted another shopper raiding our trolley. What? And someone had taken the tinned tuner from our trolley. The most offensive thing was that our trolley was parked immediately adjacent to the display of tin tuner, so the perpetrator could have just as easily taken the tins from the shelf. i still can't believe this event actually happened what are your thoughts about the etiquette of raiding another shopper's trolley or reverse shopping well we've talked about reverse shopping maybe there should be signs on the wall indicating correct etiquette a lot like they used to do at swimming pools tom what do you think of this i don't think it's an etiquette question. This is fucking disgusting, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:50:25 So I don't need you and you know, I'm gonna yeah. Well, I'm not a fucking savage So I'm with you on this is fucking insane the thought that you'd actually Steal from someone all the stuff's there anyway, and let's say It's a sad sad world if we have to basically leave our trolleys with a guard, with someone, like if you're shopping with a couple you go, right I want to go and get the baked beans, stay here and watch the trolley. I know what this person... Catherine said that to me, Catherine said that to me and I go, I don't know what you think, no one's going to steal from my trolley. And now I've got to go, we know what it does happen in Costco. I know what this person's
Starting point is 00:50:59 thinking, this person's thinking, what they're thinking is this person person doesn't own it, so it doesn't matter. What if those people get home and hadn't realized that they haven't got the tin tuner? What if they needed the tin tuner for something essential? What if like one of their members of the family said, you know what, I've been feeling really sad and anything that would really perk me up is a bit of tin tuner?
Starting point is 00:51:18 And you fucking take that away from them. Well, fucking, you know, Romesh has had a ropey time at that fucking, as a cost analyst at the moment He's really fucking crying every day at work. So the only thing he wants is a some tuna fish Yeah, let's give him some and yeah, it's not and when you they get home you're like you got my tuna fish. Yeah, sorry Someone stole it from the trolley. No one loves me Immediately you sort of you fucked up if someone stole it from the trolley, then they know that happened Why don't you do something about it, I mean, immediately you sort of, you fucked up. If someone stole it from the trolley, then they know that happened.
Starting point is 00:51:46 Why don't you do something about it? Do you know what I mean? This is like, this is worse than that. This is like you get home and go, oh Ramesh, I'm so excited for my tuna fish. I don't really, let me just look through the back. It's weird, it must be here somewhere. It must be, where the bloody hell,
Starting point is 00:52:04 oh my God, I don't think we've got you've got but you've got so many other things. Now I'm sorry if you didn't bring the tuna deliberately. Oh, frigga wiggle. Anyway that I think that's fucking horrible. The only thing I can think to try and like, you know, as is my way of trying to play, not play devil's advocate, but try and look at it from the point of view the other person, maybe they thought it was one of those trolleys where they just had loads of random shit in there. I can't, it still makes sense, does it?
Starting point is 00:52:36 Yeah, but also maybe they clocked them going the wrong way around and they were like, I'll fucking show them. They were angry about it, it's a great show. That's a great show. Yeah, maybe that is the thing. Maybe they've done that. I've, listen, Jules B, I've got no issue with you reverse shopping. That person that took the tuner is fucking scum. Jules B, can I just say I admire you to an extent because if I've not been to a Costco
Starting point is 00:52:53 for a while, I'd love to be a member of Costco but I think you've got to be referred like a members club. And actually, Kaffin talks about it all the time. That's the one thing that she, I think, I think that's what I need to do. I need to remember of course, because I've got a really good one near us. But as I say, I admire the fact that you're breaking the norm, much the same as the three bridges manager of Tesco's shout you out there,
Starting point is 00:53:18 because I think you're an absolute fucking legend. And I do think, if you're a supermarket analysis, maybe General whatever just that could be the flip this guy could be the guy who's just fucking broken Yeah, you know the division code of supermarkets Thank you Jules B and that brings us to the end of this installment of the wolf and how Tom you know you know about to ask you know can you do anything can you do the thing you could do it hmm hmm Elliot was snap was one of the sweetest kids in the world and a summer rose round he was excited to go to the beach his mother waved him off
Starting point is 00:54:03 have a good day earlier Elliot, why snap? Thank you, mother, why snap? Where's father? At work. So busy his way. He went to the beach that day, scarpering and running as quick as he can. He actually got some sand in his shoes as he hit the beach. Itchy, silly sand. For once in what is it doing there? He was soon relieved, however, when he jumped in the sea and sighed, laughing about with his friends. A beach ball flew over. Elliot grabbed it. Silly old Elliot. Threw it to his friends and they laughed and joked. Then all of a sudden, ouch! Elliot had been bitten by a crab. Ouchie ouch ouch! He scarpered from the sea, sand back on his foot. Itchy, silly sand. One of his friends came over and
Starting point is 00:54:46 they cleaned his foot. They said, Elliot, you're okay. He said, I'm all right, just a little bit sore from that crab bite. Should we get an ice cream? So then when we got an ice cream Elliot sat there and licked his ice cream until there was only a soggy cone in his hand and he's cropped that back as well, thrusting it into his mouth. They played a little bit longer, football on the beach. Sand didn't worry him quite as much now, silly itchy sand. Then they laughed and joked and then someone brought some ice cold squash out and they all devoured the squash. Trouble is Elliot had been playing without his top on and Elliot had got sunburn. He went home that night and his mom said how's your day
Starting point is 00:55:25 at the beach? He said well mum, got sand on my shoes, city itchy, city sand. But then I had a good time, I danced around in the sea until a crab bit my toe. That really hurt, that smart head. But then Neil brought me an ice cream and that was amazing. And then we played football and I got sunburned but then I got some squash and then I came home. And his mom said, you know what today is? Today is a look at life, Elliot. See, some days you're gonna have sand in your shoe, and some days it's gonna be tough. But every day when you've had a little bit of sand,
Starting point is 00:55:58 the thing to remember is the sea will wash it off. Happiness will always wash sorrow away. Always try and look for the joy in things rather than the sand between your toes. Crabs are going to bite you. That's just their way. And the sun will always burn if it can. Wear sunscreen. Burning ice cold glass of squash should be the thing you look forward to. Always find happiness amongst the clouds. But not even clouds because sometimes when the clouds aren't there, the sun be a prick just remember ups and downs roller coasters picks and troughs friend you need one for the other thank you very much great
Starting point is 00:56:34 stuff so JT could you play us out with Countdown to Shutdown by the Hives please? I'm a big fan of this tune. And guys we will see you next time. Oh by the way, big news, big news. Tour details coming soon, coming soon, coming soon, dropping soon, tour dates. Oh yeah, we're finalising the tour. But I don't want to sort of, because we're still sort of slightly up in the air isn't it?
Starting point is 00:57:03 I'm so excited man, being on the road with you. Just being in your wake. Well we can travel there separately can't we? No no no, what in the air, isn't it? I'm so excited, man, being on the road with you, just being in your wake. Well, we can travel there separately, can't we? No, no, no, what's the fucking point of doing that? We travel together as a team. Like a football team. I'm thinking we get Trapped Match in Wolfenau Tatsuits, like a basketball team.
Starting point is 00:57:17 That's a great shout. Get a tour bus. Yeah, I'd love that tour bus. Jim will be heartbroken. Get Jim and Grazie a little track to each as well. We'll get the cars wrapped. Yeah! Oh God.
Starting point is 00:57:32 Alright guys, thank you so much. We love you very much. Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye. Hey! Love you friends. A million boys in love with a dozen girls Tighten the screw, but not for you Till they can't figure out what to do It goes four, three, two, one Countdown to shut down Into the promised land The five I know to man Ain't never gonna quit Look out baby, this is it If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolfalpod at gmail.com.
Starting point is 00:58:28 We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.

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