Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 17: Family Gatherings & Rom Vs The Council

Episode Date: April 23, 2025

We’re talking… Easter feasts, the long-awaited Ranganathan family visit to the Davis’s new home, the most beautiful cat ever, a very competitive FIFA tournament, Romesh vs the West Sussex County Council schools board (and the Netflix film version of that heroic story), corduroy vibes, wearing skinny jeans, ape-like physiques and the final week before Rom runs the London Marathon. Plus, Tom’s idea for a Bible revamp and an email about a very troublesome ingrowing hair. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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and gemstones. Shop up to 20% off everything in store, in-app, or online at maduri.com. Yo, what you want? Beak or jaws? Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your

shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Hello and welcome Just kidding every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello and welcome. Let's go. To the Easter, oh, actually Easter's done, no, no, but the post Easter Wolf and Al podcast. How is everybody? Jaman, like, I was going to say Jamanjari, but there's two different words there. What are the two? I'd love to know.

Jambari. But then I was also thinking of Jamanji because I sort of was talking about that only yesterday. You had all your family around yesterday didn't you? Lovely day bro. Two beautiful days with my two families. Well yesterday, who did you have around yesterday? My mom and dad's, my sister, our kids, my brother-in-law, very chilled day. I cooked an Italian feast for a king. I'm an Instagram star, isn't that? It was the honey and salt aubergine that you made. I see your mom being vegan, she didn't have the honey.

You sort of did an alternative. Yeah, we could get into that, she didn't have the honey, you sort of did an alteration. Yeah, we could get into that rumbunner if we were, about this vegan thing with the honey. Some people can be very, the honey levels are very good. I see, I see, I see, I see what you're saying. Well, actually the guy, so basically what I said, let's just get this out. He didn't make it vegan, to be fair.

Yeah, let's get this out in the open here. Tom's accused me of eating honey. I didn't need. Yeah, no, you didn't. You didn't. Yeah. But I did. I did suggest that I might do if the guy put honey in it.

Yeah, that is what he did. Can I say that the anxiety that Catherine went through to make sure that there was enough vegan food sort of meant that there was so much vegan food that anyone who wanted anything but vegan food. I mean, the vegan food was gorgeous and delicious, but Catherine's, Catherine wanted to make sure that you got support with that. Let's, so basically on the Saturday,

it finally happened. Not finally happened, you've only just moved in. It was like, it was like we'd been going out for three years. Yeah. And I finally gave up my flower to you. Yeah. And then when I pulled up, because obviously it's been a running joke

that I've never been invited around to your house. And then when we pulled up onto the driveway, I realized why we had been invited now, because this was very much, it was very much an exercising look at our place. Do you mean that was that was what? Yeah, there was some people I can go to. And rightly so. So lovely, lovely place. But we've been friends for however long. This is the first time really we've

done. I mean, obviously you've come to us with this first time we've we've come to yours like this There's a bit of first time we've broken bread as family. Yeah. Yeah, very very nerve-racking You know, you're worried about Worried about how the partners are gonna get on our kids are not the same ages Jim. I said there's a bit of a worry with that dynamic Are you gonna to get on with the kids? Is little G who, you know, you gave me a warning about little G as to her feelings towards me. That I, what I would say is I thought you're winding me up, but

based on her reaction to me on the day, I would say that if anything, you understated how serious that issue is. She is not keen. I think it's fair. I think she's. She is. She's asked about you twice since you left. She's asked whether you're coming back. Yeah, yeah. In the same way that you ask you, it's like the boogeyman coming back.

It's Freddie Krueger coming back. She's, you've got to remember she's a fan of yours. Right. So, it's nerve wracking. It's probably like the boys meeting me in some ways. Well, I mean, you said, do you wanna to are you gonna give an uncle on my cuddle? She said she screamed no no and started crying. So I mean, I don't think that's they gave Lisa a beautiful embrace. Yes. Yeah But it was good was Lisa did three fair Lisa put a lot of hard yards Lisa was doing a lot of playing with her

There was a good I enjoyed watching Lisa play with grace They're playing play with me. It was pretty sweet. There's an implication there that I didn't do my due diligence with your daughter. If I was obviously you, Rob, you're obsessed with my cat. I've never seen anything quite like it. All the different stuff that I've done,

they're like, are you absolutely? Mate, that cat is, Lisa became concerned I was so into the cat that that cat is the most beautiful cat I've ever seen in my life I'm not I've not seen loads so I'm not an experienced cat handler you're not a cat phobe no I'm not I'm not a catafalque what's wrong with the light just just just for to get people into this this is all over the place by the way so far. But Tom, we started the podcast a little bit late because Tom wanted to readjust his light. So that's where we're at now.

Yeah, I'm just worried it's going to catch my glasses. Has somebody told you that lighting is important? I mean lighting is important but somebody recently... Your lighting is beautiful. Well, I do have a massive light in this room but I haven't turned it on. Might as well catch my glasses and this at home mate. If I did this for the whole podcast, I'd be alright. You're worried about the little, because you've got a ring light, aren't you?

Yeah, I've got a ring light on because the other ones just washed me out. Right, okay. I didn't realise how pale I've become. Well you're not become pale, you look quite, well actually in this light you look quite, you know, golden brown. Texture like. Yeah, I do, yeah. But in the other one, I looked so pale, I'm washed out. I looked like, Christ. Anyway, we came to your house, really nice house,

love the cat, the boys started playing FIFA or EAFs, whatever it is. Well, I've come out to say, man, those boys are legends. I've thoroughly enjoyed that company. Well, I found their constant bickering while they're playing FIFA slightly embarrassing. I found it hilarious. It's just, that is how they are all the time when you see them. They're like locker room boys. They're like frat boys. Yeah, but when you see that when that hat plays out in front of other people

Theo by the way is just very impressed with how Theo's growing into a young man when he came over He clearly made that step into the adult conversation well also conducted himself well within it i thought it's it's it's nice watching the kid make that transition you know that it breaks into kids and adults and you you go and take yourself to the kids and then you get to a point we think actually i'm going to go to the adults table and that's what he did and i respected it do you know what? I thought he played his vision pretty well. He didn't overstay his Position in the conversation chipped in answered questions fully when he was required to is great. Really good. Yeah Yeah, he was an exemplary guest. I think I said Alex and Charlie though

I was I very much enjoyed that their band.. Yeah I mean they made no concessions to being guests in someone's house I'd say. Alex by the way I at one point thought Alex lived in my house. They sat on the PlayStation, I left the living room for like 30 seconds came back Alex was lying on the sofa playing. Alex has got very Tom Davis energy at times, can I say. That's how, Catherine's told me off about doing that kind of thing. I couldn't believe it, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.

I know, I thought it was hilarious. But Catherine Jennings told me off about that kind of, like I made myself at home quick when I get to someone's house. Yeah. Because I think it makes everyone relax. Yeah, sure. And I thought Kat and Lisa

got, I was quite, I wasn't nervous about them getting on but you just you know it's is that gonna be alright? They had some good chats, girl chats about makeup and stuff. Like baking and like aprons and stuff like that. And conditioning. What a nightmare men can be and oh god they really got into it. I did notice Kat and Todd you sort of like popping your head round to make sure it's all going well you're quite sort of it's quite it's quite nice watching you in that situation you're like a you're like a jester and taking on one too many trick you know what I mean you're sort of like juggling here and then sort of running over making sure you're spinning wheel It's a FIFA going, okay, Yanks, get off the sofa. I'm not allowed a win with a game on.

The FIFA, by the way, I think the boys were impressed with my FIFA. They were impressed because you are very good. And why wouldn't you be? You spent hours and hours playing. You went on to Twitch with it for a while and you even got lessons. So obviously you would be of a certain standard. What I hadn't seen previously was... And I actually didn't know you had this I for the first time buried in one I think I thought I knew you incredibly well I saw a

competitive edge to you there's that has never read its head before now what happens was you played I think the boys had led you to believe that I was really really shit you know they've been doing yeah, trashed a bit blacking going on. Can I say but it was a hustle but like they genuinely think it was quite it was quite Yeah, if you're in a snooker club in New Orleans in the 1930s, you could have been shot You know me like that hustle going on Well, if somebody had FIFA on a PlayStation 5 in the 1930s, it's bigger things going on. No, no, if you got into a snooker with your three boys, right, and you're like, you know, traveling across America, and like, you know, I was sort of at the snooker table, probably

sort of having a cigar, sort of like, you know, and I was like, hey, what we got here? And they're like, oh, Dad, don't play, but snooker, you're the worst snooker player ever. And you'd be like, oh, come dad, don't play him. But Snooker, you're the worst Snooker player ever. And you'd be like, oh come on, give us a game. And I'd go, hey, you can't get in there, this kid. You ain't got the minerals. And you'd be like, oh, I'll just have a little game. I'll put down 100 quid. And then all your boys are going,

oh mister, don't beat him too bad. And then you wipe the floor with me, absolutely destroyed me. That would be like in New Orleans in the 1930s someone would be like this is a fucking shred of hustle. Yeah, it would have been trouble, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I get what you're saying. I mean, I got what you're saying before you did the whole roleplay actually, but I understood what you meant. But no, they were doing it because they generally think I'm shit. So anyway, what happened was we played a game and

I Was asked to your West Ham Arsenal won that game and then you said Then you said we've got to play again and I was like, yeah and I'd assumed that meant that was a casual We've got to play again what then? Can I just say the food arrived. And the food arrived after the game. So Catherine was like, Tom, can you set the table? And I was like, well, there's a rematch that needs to happen.

Even that understates how on edge you were. So the food came the whole way through the meal. The kids, you're going, oh, we are going to play again, aren't we? We are going to play after this. We're like, we are, like, Rob, we've got to play again, haven't we? It's like, yeah, Tom, we said we're going to play again.

Like, is it all right to just talk about the food, we'll just talk about something else for a bit. You're sort of looking around, itchy sort of, itchy hands almost. And then the boy- Yeah, can I just say, I also had Alex sitting next to me and I could see Alex looking at me that I was somehow lesser of a man than the man sort of well Yeah, anyway, the boys finished their meal

They go off to play FIFA and then we're having a conversation and every 30 seconds you get up to go and see how their FIFA Games going because you basically put a quid on the PlayStation and was like I've got next and then just kept popping in and out desperate for this rematch because you couldn't handle it that you'd lost a game and then credit where credit's due you absolutely haven't been the second game so can I say one of my favorite bits of the whole thing was when your boys who sat and ate yeah yeah food together one of my favorite things was you were telling a story and they'd all finished their food and Charlie by the way is he's a comedian he will be a comedian that kid he's got very funny he's very very funny Hey, yeah

He would like that he looked up at like yeah, yeah You call it do it they go okay if you if you all want to go So quick back to FIFA. I was so quick to move. Yeah they were. It was a lovely day. There was one point I had to apologize to Grace because I shouted so loudly while playing FIFA. I imagine that's why she didn't want to say bye to me when we left. But I say it was very competitive to go to FIFA. I would say you got very invested. For someone who's pretending you did, you were begrudgingly playing, you were shouting and when you scored,

you were very, very animated. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no noise yes really really yeah I wish we have footage of it that is true I do too actually I do too are you telling me that you weren't into it I was into the game but I didn't I did not celebrate any of my goals you any of them by the way in that last game you only scored two so yeah but in the first game I scored what five or was it five? It was five. Yeah, it was five. Yeah. So let's see now. I actually think we should have a big FIFA like the big game. We should do it on Twitch for charity.

Me versus you. Well, that's tricky because then I know what's going to happen. It's going to be very, I'm going to be very suspicious that you're getting lessons again. Then I'm going to have to get them. I'm not going to get them. I think, by the way, can we be open as well? I've not played FIFA since

Yeah, that's me during kovat. Yeah, but but why did you go? Why did she ban you because I was so addicted right? So the way she waited to me was you sometimes you play for six seven hours a day Yeah, yeah, yeah Sometimes you have to knock on the door. She'd have to knock on the door and go, do you remember you're married? That's actually worded it to me. And it's 3 AM. Yeah.

So you had a problem, didn't you? And then you were logging on with some other guy, getting him to show you techniques and stuff like that. And I could see some of that about you. You've got some like little, you've got some off menu little moves. I mean sorry to shout out another podcast but you do have some little yeah you know what I mean. By the way, you know someone was telling me

subsequently to this that FIFA is the biggest drop-off of any game ever. Well you said this you said this repeatedly on the Saturday I'm assuming that you didn't get the response that you wanted from it then, so now you said it on the podcast. First of all, what does that mean, the biggest drop off? Like it's had less people are playing it than any other FIFA. Because of the, I think, from what I can understand

is the amount of money kids have been forced to actually, it's a bit of a racket now, isn't it? I think buying a game for that amount of money and then having to spend more money or being encouraged to spend more money is a fucking joke. It shouldn't be allowed. It's pretty bad for kids, especially if you look at Charlie and Alex's age and how into it. Even like the old jokes I had with me when I was playing it, but you look at Charlie and Alex,

who are very much into it. They're at an age where they're playing that. Chatting to Alex about it, Alex by the way is fucking incredible at it. But there is an element of gambling to it when they're buying packs. You're basically in a situation where it's a lot of it. That pack thing is unacceptable, man.

I say unacceptable, it's acceptable. It's disgusting. But it is disgusting. And it's unacceptable man. I'll say unacceptable But it is disgusting and it's like I don't know how we got to a point where they thought that they I mean I know how they got to the point. I thought was okay They wanted to make a shit ton of money, but at what cost do you mean? It's like it's so good I'm gonna make money by selling the game for whatever it is like 70 quid now 80 quid and then on top of it You're and also of it you're and also you're then spending money on pacts for the chance that you might get what like a player from the you know you could be i don't know how it worked from when i was playing it you get

players like from the artitianian league that you've never heard of and you get a kid like you know alex charlie whatever they're sitting there playing it you're not getting the players that you think you're going to get. So you go back in and back in and back in. You spend more and more of your pocket money on something, by the way, that it doesn't even like you doesn't go on to the next year. Also, it doesn't exist. It's just like this is the fake. Like it's not real. I mean, it's not even fake. The thing doesn't exist. Where's Fortnite, by the way? I think Fortnite, the way that Fortnite's not real. I mean, it's not even fake. No, this thing doesn't exist I thought I thought I thought like the way that for tonight have done it I was saying this to my brother and I was in the game world and he's very

He makes him guess what he does before. I actually you buy the game you buy your Armor or whatever it's called your suits Skin, but then you don't charge you every year for the game No, so you can buy your bolt-ons or your add-ons But you're then they just patch it so you're essentially making the game better people are paying Yeah, where's fee for your every you've got to spend that money. Yeah I do think yes, the drop off is big. Yeah, it's a shambles It's a it should not be allowed to happen And then like the kids are talking about who, you know, like, the kid, the kid, my kids will talk about who's got what teams and like, who's got what players out of their mates. So now there's like a cache to it.

on your mates with, not new things, being around for ages. But do you know what I mean? It's like, it's another reason for kids to feel less than other kids, do you know what I mean? Cause your ultimate team's not what it should be or whatever, do you know what I mean? So I think the whole thing is like, it's a bit grand. I think it's pretty scandalous if I'm not mistaken. Listen, I'm starting to find myself,

I am now becoming the old man shouting at clouds. That is where I'm at now. This is where I'm moving into in my life. ["Bank of Dave"] One of the things that took up quite a considerable amount of time at both of my soirees this weekend was your Bank of Dave story, your sort of man against the machine, Romesh versus the West Sussex schooling system.

Yeah. Which by the way, can I just say by the way, number one, like my mum has actually got quite a lot of knowledge of this. She was a school nurse around the area, so she all of the But my mom came in and actually my mom's my mom's passage of play was it's really really good to see a comedian used their Used that sort of Instagram use your social media for something and raising a really really really important point rather than Some of the old drivel that I put on like selling rather than some of the old drivel that I put on, like selling various protein powders.

And she was like, I'm really respectful of what Romesh has done. And by the way, when you were explaining it, me and Catherine were flabbergasted. When, you know, it was, yeah. Well, no, the reason I put it on Instagram is because I knew that some other people have been going through the same situation. So I just thought I'd post up and see how widespread this

thing is. Anyway, it's like that video has got over 2 million views now. And I've had so many comments, so many messages, loads of people have got in touch to say, like to give me advice, so thank you very much to the people for giving advice. Two things that have occurred to me, that have come out of this whole thing. One, is it's massively widespread. Actually three things. Two, West Sussex County Council, a lot of county councils just don't respond when you try and contact them and they don't, you know, the impression is they don't give a shit. And three, when you try and contact them. And the impression is they don't give a shit. And three, it's all right if you've got a neurotypical kid

like we have, but if you've got an SEN child, parents of children with special educational needs have been having this nightmare for years and years and years. Some of them don't even get offered any school, or some of them need their kid to be going to a specialist school And they just get chucked into a mainstream school. So now I was starting to think to myself This is something actually That needs to be highlighted more. I mean, I don't want to start getting on my high horse about it, but yeah

But what's happened off this press? What's happened off this post is now I think it's because what will happen is is my situation with Charlie will get resolved whichever way right and then we'll get on with our lives but now there's part of me that's thinking we shouldn't get on with our lives this is not highlighted a thing do you mean like it feels like thank you Listen if it leads to a top-rated Netflix movie, I'll be absolutely delighted School of Al Probably him ash Patel. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, you know that'd be an amazing bit of casting. Yeah

Vince Ford maybe Vince Vaughn Yeah, right if you do an English accent Vince, yeah, okay Older than I am actually That that you know, that requires a real little bit of thought, actually, because that's quite a big part, isn't it? I'm probably throwing it away there. It's not a massive part. It's sort of- It's quite a big part.

It's a basically- I don't think it's, well, it's not a massive part. It just involves, I guess, what would the scene be? Vince Vaughn's character buys a massive house. He starts talking to his wife about how he wants to, like, rub it in his mate's face. His mate goes round... You're not going to see any of that. I don't think he's seen it, like...

Yeah, it'll be, like, probably me and I will be at the snooker club or whatever. Snooker club? What is your obsession with snooker clubs? Right, and you... Like, Himes playing you will come in and go, Oh, mate, I've been up against the wall today with all this bloody school stuff a bit tool will tell me how to go What school stuff you know you know about me boy? Charlie Oh, yeah, you should say about that and it would yeah, why why?

Why the fuck is your character in a snooker hall and being all enigmatic? and Closer to reality we do it like it was on Saturday. So just like oh bloody hell This job I had to do an Instagram post about his Charlie situation. What Charlie situation? Well, he said that you can't get him into the school. He was like, you should go down to the school and bang on the door on. You've been what for? Well, I've been trying to get in touch with West Sussex County.

I'm reading them a letter, right? What have West Sussex County Council got to do? Well, they're obviously the council board that decide the allocation of school. Well I will have to actually go Google allocation mate. Now using all sorts of highfalutin words I'm beginning to see where your problems lie mate. I suggest using vocabulary that West Sussex County Council are a bit more comfortable with. Oh Tom, what's the bloody point telling you? Who could be Lisa? Who play Lisa? I'd Lisa play herself. It's good for her to get a little break into showbiz.

Do you know what I mean? Oh, you think Lisa would play herself? No, she was. It's a good part for Lisa. I think she would distance herself from the project quite heavily. It would be an exciting part for whoever's playing Lisa. Yeah, we need a conclusion though, really, don't we? Yeah, but there'll be I think there'll be a conclusion. Yeah, No, but the thing is I like you say by the way in that video

I love the fact that you you look you dressed for work very well for the video Do you look very you look yeah, you're looks good for for someone who's taken on Tom I'm first of all not stepping into politics A lot of people, Tom, are first of all not stepping into politics. Right? Politically, now you're... This would probably be a really cool line, actually, for Vince Ford and my character. It's like, whether you think you're in the game or not, man, whether that was the intention, you're in the game now, baby.

And you'd be like, oh, fuck, I don't know what I'm doing. I just wanted to do one video, now it's spiraling out of control. I've got other things to do with my life, it can't just be about this, Tom. I'll tell you another big part, whoever's gonna play Flo, that'll be a big part for someone. Yeah.

Flo turning around to you going, Romesh, you need to concentrate on stand up. I can't, Flo. I can't, there's too many people depending on me. You think I've got time to do a stand up. I can't flow. I can't. There's too many people depending on me. You think I've got time to do a stand up, tall? I've got to stand up for the people. Never mind on stage. The only person who has to play himself would be Charlie. As executive producer of this project, I would definitely have to say that Charlie has to. Okay. I mean, really, the truth is with one chief is one journey

Do you remember when Ramesh Ranganathan took on the West Sussex schooling board? Everest Patel is Ramesh Ranganathan Yeah, big fucking call man. Oh, yeah, it'll be alright I just need to figure out how it ends and that well, yeah, I mean hopefully that currently we don't know No, but hopefully it ends with Charlie going to the school he wants to like you packing them off. Like, this is what I see. He just goes, Dad, thank you. This is a school I was dreamed of. You give him a little kiss. You and Lisa like, yeah, it's just just to say,

like, I'm trying to think who could play Lisa would be good. Keely Hawes would be quite good. Yeah. Yeah, he's a good shot, yeah. Keely Hawes as Lisa. So Charlie gives you both a kiss and runs in. And Lisa turns around and she goes, you know what, I got a feeling he's gonna be okay. And you go, yeah, but it ain't about him, Lisa. It's about all the other little kids

want me to get into the schools and I need to get into, girl. And then she goes, get into the schools and they need to get in, you know, girl. And then she goes, she goes, she goes, Robish, please tell me that you're not going to make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. I need to do it. Not for me, but for all the other kids.

And that'd be it. Yeah. And then it goes, making your way in the world today takes everything you've got. Breaking it away from all your troubles, shutters, take a life. I don't think we cleared this song. Let me just sort of over the credit. Yeah.

I mean, what you've just, that sort of eggy kind of dialogue you do, it's not actually that far away from how I do feel about it, to be honest with you. Yeah, but you have to, you can't stop now. No. There's a great line in the wire, and this is a bit like the wire in some ways. Like Wes, I think it's, what's the guy's name? Slim Charles turns around and he says to Stringer Bell, whether you like it or not, you know war is war and whether you like it or not

We're in it now. You haven't got a chance to get out and essentially that's where you're at with That's where you're out with this. You're basically you are now Avon or stringer bell the West Sussex Schooling board who's the other guy they follow their Marlow? Yeah, this is a hell of a battle yeah I had a lot of you know you said about how I dressed or whatever I did get a lot of comments saying I looked like Prince I thought you look cool I thought you look like a teacher I think he's a tash in the hair combo is I was throwing some people off to him, but you know Yeah, also the shirt look very drippy. We look cool It's not about it's not about me. I just I

Address whatever way record is required in order to get the message out there Can I ask you one question you have to be honest about this one? I would need a nervous and earnest answer before you did the video to do got to Lisa go least I'm about to do the big school video, is this shirt okay? No, I didn't do that, but can I tell you what I did do, and this is like such an insight into my relationship. I did the video, I actually did the video quite quickly, I just decided I'm just going to do this video, it's pissing me off. So I did the video, and then, um,

this is such a horrible insight into it, I went over to Lisa and Lisa was getting ready to take Theo to physio because he's got like a bit of an injury from doing dance or whatever and I went over and said Lisa, Lisa do you mind having a quick look at this video I've done about the schooling and Lisa goes um Lisa was like well I've got to drop Theo off so I'm like running a bit behind it's only a minute and a half and she went okay well yeah I'll watch it if you want and I go and then I went this is the pathetic bit oh do you know what don't worry about it I'll just post it you go just like a little sort of like little sad little stroppy little prick. Do you mean I just stick up see what happens I'll say what everyone says about it

I'll be honest. I thought the human intelligence upon it will be quite Key points be that upon your head Lisa and then the next scene from that would be Theo and Lisa in the car. Theo just turned around and going Yeah mum, dad's kind of obsessed with this school thing and her going You know your father, when he gets something between his teeth he's like a dog, he won't let it go And then Theo would look out the window and go yeah, yeah that's dad, that is dad Yeah, well it was in reality because is he ever going to shut the fuck up about it? as bad. Yeah. Well, it was in reality because is he ever going to shut the fuck up about it?

Maybe we push the film a bit closer to reality. I call that that version of it, like sort of sets for family fun. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because I won't be on it as good as Vince Ford's playing me and obviously I'll be executive producer. I would like to be across costume That's the one thing. Okay, if I could Okay, well this is where we start to have problem actually because because I know what you're gonna do You're gonna have him in fucking cord, right? Top two quarters sick. Well, I've got a lot of cord Oh, well, actually that's funny said that because I've got a lot of corduroy. But when I say corduroy, I mean like,

you know what type of corduroy I'm talking about. I'm not talking about that. But whenever you wear corduroy, somebody has got a comment about it, haven't they? Yeah. Because it's traditionally seen as, you know what I mean? It's traditionally seen as not cool. So then when you do wear corduroy,

you'll always get some sort of comment from someone. I from someone say something. Can I say that the big one? I saw some of the skinny jeans. I've been it felt so out of place now. Mmm weird, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I mean skinny. I mean slim-cut jeans Fine, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah some cuts nice. Yeah, but that's Yeah, yeah, yeah some cuts nice. Yeah, but that's Skinny skinny skinny skinny where you see the outline of the boll eyes Like that is that is wild that yeah, that was a thing for a while isn't it? Wasn't from why it felt like it was the beginning of that like everyone wore them on state. I mean I was by the way I

What really upsets me about skin? I think I've took that so for about the skinny jeans phenomena was that I know what like no one told me at the time Not to wear them. No, I I went so skinny. It was like well They didn't suit people like you and I you know what I describe as the cut and shuts of this world where it's sort of You know your top half because your top half is so you know you've got sort of a bulky top half and you're super skinny on the jeans it looks absolutely it looks like you're going to fall over. I went to the zoo last week and I realized then I have very much like a gorilla or any sort of ape like physique tiny legs legs and a massive, like a big bulbous cup of half. I can't even laugh at that, even though it is really funny because I've had those realisations

and it's almost too, just to sort of look at a gorilla and go, oh I've got, and the thing is, by the way, not got the good bits of a gorilla's build, like you know, because obviously gorillas are absolutely fucking hench. Fucking hench fit looking things. Beautiful pecs. Strong, strong backs. Yeah, I haven't got any of that. What I have got is disproportionately thin, small legs.

I will say, by the way, yeah, there is like a rank, my body's more orangutangual. It's like Do you know I really did genuinely? Can I tell you where I thought you were going with that when you went rang? I thought you're gonna say rang an ather and then I thought you're gonna say based on seeing me and the kids You're gonna go. Yeah, I do think the ragged aphors have got that I genuinely thought you're gonna make it like a conclusion about my family

your your boys all look pretty hench to be fair. Fucking Theo is fucking double stacked. They're fortunate enough to have Lisa's... Yeah, me and you by the way, yeah. That's what I hope with Grace is that Grace will have her mother's genetics. Like, I look at... I mean, I'm throwing you under the bus here and I can't do that because it's not right. I look at... me. I mean I'm afraid you know the bus here and I can't do that system I look at I think I I'm the bridge, you know, like when you look at the evolution

I look at and go. Oh actually that I'm I I'm the evolution bit between the man and you know, like Just can I just stop your second you said you went to say something to me, then you said, no, I can't throw any of the... So am I right in saying that you were just one direction change away from saying that I was the bridge between man and age? We were, no, we were, we were.

Right. I was never gonna say just you, so. Okay. I was gonna bring you into this. Just quite directly, I'm not gonna throw you under the bus like that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Could I just say what I was gonna say is me and you, right? Right.

And then I'd be like, just I'm fair on you. Me and you are the bridge between ape and man. Yeah. And then, okay. I'd say that it would go normal man, you, me, ape. Right. I'm more ape-like than you. And it's not a bad idea for Wolf and our merch, to be honest with you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's... I've got longer arms, haven't I? Like an eight. This is really... I have really insane... My arms are so long. That's the longest part of my body, my arms. Like whenever I have suits or shirts or whatever and clothes,

you quite often see me with a little bit of a break there. Yeah, I like it though. It's good. It's nice to have long arms. You can sort of scratch yourself on that. Do you have a bit? What else scratches itself all the time? Fucking monkeys and apes.

No, no. Picking fleas off themselves. Listen, I'm not saying it's not ape-like. I'm just saying that it's, you know. Look, I'm saying we're both like that. You know, we've both got sort of ap for zeke. You know what I mean? Not the good stuff though, I mean the shit stuff.

So you know, there you go. Anyway, listen, thank you. Yeah, go on. Go on, go on the shit stuff. So you know, there you go. Anyway, thank you. Yeah, go. Go, go. I know I was gonna break into now, the other thing that we talked a lot about, which was your marathon and your running training. We didn't talk a lot, did we talk a lot about?

Oh, actually. Yeah, we did. Well, I think Lisa was quite unfair to me on that Saturday. She was quite funny, to be fair. Well, Kat asked me about the marathon. Yeah. I went and started talking about it. I then self-deprecatingly said, I talk about this a fair bit.

And then Lisa was like, yeah, you do. It was quite horrible, I thought. There was something along those lines, I'm sort of paraphrasing, but that was the gist of it, wasn't it? Yeah, but actually it was quite interesting, as you were talking about your carb load, yeah. took a big help in the food you went yeah I've got a dirty old carb loading mate. No I said that as a joke I mean look I wasn't you got there's no point carb loading over a week away from the fucking marathon. So how are you feeling? I mean

literally next time we do one of, you would have run the marathon. Yeah, I know, it's exciting. How are you feeling about it? You know you're running the marathon, by the way, on my birthday. That's exciting. So is it gonna be tricky for you to focus on your birthday, knowing that you're sort of,

because last year you sort of tracked me, didn't you, the whole time? Oh no, I'll be tracking you again. Yeah, and you became concerned. It was one of my favorite things, tracking you. Because I felt such pride When you cross that line at one point the track you went missing. Yeah Are you gonna be as social and during your sort of time I will be but I'm not gonna stop so you'll keep running

Yeah, I'll keep running. Yeah, I made I'd stop too much last night, but I will be polite, you know, obviously Yeah Do you think we should have like You know, this has been quite a meandering chat so far. I know this, this, that's what this podcast always is. You'll be watching clips from some other podcasts. And they have like, they have like topics. Do you know what I mean? Like, I feel like they're really getting into and I know we did like the moral dilemmas for a bit. But you know, we're not

even doing emails. Should we do emails? Let's do some emails. Actually, I mean, if you've got a topic, I'd love you, Tom, I mean, listen. I've not got a topic. Marathons, that was pretty much it. Oh, right, you did bring that in. I'm very much in a moment,

but you know what, I'm quite interested, coming into sort of Easter Monday, I've been thinking a lot about, I mean, this is gonna be more of a sum up really, but thinking about, yeah. So I got chatting to a guy at the coffee shop the other day about, actually by the way, when I say other day, I heard quite a few people have been going to me about the other day. What's going on here?

Quite a few people have slammed me about the other day thing that I said about, someone with the blow job lips, about someone said to me the other day. that I said about someone with a blow job lips about someone said to me the other day. Right. And someone said, Oh yeah, the other day and then did a raised eyebrow emoji. Um, what does that mean? I don't know. No, but it was the other day, wasn't it? Yeah, that's what I mean. So I say the other day, but apparently that's not a thing you say. Um, it's a thing you sell the fuck you're talking about. No, not social media, but I've got chatted about just about the nature of Yeah, just gee just the whole Jesus thing about what an amazing comeback You know if you believe the Bible what amazing comeback it was for Jesus to come back and how many people don't

How the Easter bunny is completely derived around what the religious this guy was quite religious The coffee shop was opposite a church. And there was like quite a haggling for Hot Cross Buns. And he was very much trying to tell people what they represented. And people were sort of, I had a chat with him, but other people sort of were like, all right mate. And obviously now Hot Cross Buns just, they come in all shapes and forms, right?

Not all shapes, they're one shape with the cross on, but they have different flavors. You get chocolate orange ones, cinnamon ones. I'm very much of the keep it simple school of thought on that. Yeah, I like the raisin, I've got to say, but, and this guy was like, he was like, the commercialism of Easter

has destroyed what the actual story is No one really knows the story anymore. I said I know the story So try to do my problem with the Bible is the Bible feels It needs probably a bit of a read up. I was sort of saying to him. What does that mean? Well, it feels like very much of its time. It's written like what a billion years ago. It feels like now do you really think? Yeah, generally like you know, do you think it was written a billion years ago. It feels like now. Do you really think that? Yeah, generally. Do you think it was written a billion years ago? Or not a billion years ago, it was written a long time ago. Not a billion years ago, yeah, a thousand years ago. But you look at now,

even like, you know, Harry Potter's having its reworking. Marvel's now on its, you know, hundred Avengers movie, whatever. The Bible does feel quite dated at times. And you're like, you know, realize it's an old book, but you're like, mate, because you've got the Old Testament, the New Testament, what about you really go the New New Testament and sex on there? For people and actually, Jesus a bit more kick ass. And then kids will go, Oh, you know, who's your favorite superhero? Jesus.

What? Yeah, I mean, yeah. You've written your Bible, it's really cool. The only thing I would say about that is sort of the Bible is supposed to have happened, isn't it? You know, so. Yes, but.

It's sort of, you know, giving it a revamp. Yeah, but you could give it a revamp, like with, like we're talking about the movie about you right you're writing at the moment right. That's going to be the story of the Ramesh versus the West Sussex school schooling system right. Some of that is going to be made for drama right. I'm writing a bioc at the moment, bioc at the moment for someone else biography at the moment. Some of it you know some of it changes in the within the sands of time within the storytelling.

What I mean is that, just let James Gunn get his hands on it or someone, just go, let's just have a little bit of Martin Scorsese play with it. They have done that, haven't they? There's been loads of Jesus films. You're not filming that. There's been loads of Bible films. Like make it a... You can take the book. Like a graphic novel about it.

There will definitely be a Bible graphic novel about it. There is a definitely be a Bible graphic There's hardly any fighting like proper fighting in the Bible like where he fights like seven people What do you want him to do that? Wait, he goes to the he turns over the tables at the temple doesn't it? So, okay But you're up against your time. The Bible is supposed to be a reportage of what's happened. It's not like you can't you but You wanted to know what? I don't want to get upset anyone is this into this one. No, let's just say let's just say with the Bible Someone in the Bible has probably been a little bit economic with the truth. Should we say right?

Like push push the pale a little bit more. What I'm saying is, you know, this guy was in the middle of this coffee shop, and he's trying to really push the hole, he's really trying to get people engaged. And I actually, I chatted to him, I had a couple other people sort of listen to him, but I was like, I felt sorry for him, because I'm like, I don't even know

how much you believe this anymore, mate. Well that's- He took my soap box out, and he was trying to get get people listening. I guess people don't care about stories anymore But it's like he needs more to work with Yeah, oh, I forgot to tell you. There's a new story out. But Jesus What is it? Oh the time before like 15 Roman gods who sort of like We're roughing up some kids in in the street and he came over and you know stopped that and they were like who are you and it's like I'm Jesus and then Jesus knew

my type do you know what I mean? What? Hold on, hey Greg, Bill come over here. No I don't think that's wrong that's wrong I don't think that I don't think that happens you know I don't think if you update the story suddenly people I tell you what I think the problem is, is that nothing has happened recently. You know? Yeah, like I mean, I know Jesus was around a long time ago, but what I mean is like, you have to read about miracles that happened thousands of years ago,

the water to wine and the bread and the fish and all that. But you could see one now, aren't there? You know, just to top up people's faith. The water to wine and the bread to fish, it's really sick, that's really fucking cool. But also it is like, that's really cool. In 2025, you're looking at it and going, that's great if he runs a restaurant.

It's all like amazing. Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. He needs to like, there needs to be some new miracles. If I'm Jesus by the way, like he's done that, it's great if you've got a fucking 25 people around and all you've got is a load of bread and a load of water. Right?

Yeah. That's amazing for that. Moses is part of the scene. Moses has got to be, oh, how the hell am I ever gonna make? I've never written a bloody book about him. Well, I have written about, I mean, there's loads written about Moses, isn't there? Yeah, he's not the leader. You're basically Jesus in that I'm Moses.

Why? Because Jesus is the main character in your film that you're making, right? Vince Ford and me are like the Moses in it. Like in the background. I don't know how big you think you are in this story. But also, if Jesus had arrived at the Red Sea, he wouldn't have started making loads of bread and fish. I mean, the miracles are specific to the situation he found himself in, right?

Yeah. He was at a wedding maybe once. Can I just say, I like Jesus, I like what he's about. But if he'd seen Moses do that with the sea and he was there, he would have just gone, oh, is anyone hungry? Okay, well there you go. But therein lies why you think I'm Jesus, because you've seen us a little snide basically. That is what you're getting at. Okay, listen, before we get you to wrap up, there is an email here. Yeah, that's quite long. Okay, but I do think it's

worth reading in full. Okay. All right. And then I'm going to get your comment on this. So I, so I'm going to try and take my time with this. Okay. This is from the now fully healed Eastern Bard bandicoot. Okay. Hello to the crew of the Wolf and Owl. Your podcast has occasionally spoken about issues of ingrained hairs. Do you remember when you told me that I needed to get myself checked out? Yeah and we talked about our dear friend Jim and his deep blue of the wolf hair. And I thought I could enlighten you all with my experience. It's not a short story, so bear with me. I'm originally from South Wales and my

wife is from Yorkshire. For the last 20 years or so, we've been living in Australia. We live on a small farm in a very rural and remote area in the far south of Tasmania. I'm the main care of our son, and my wife is a doctor of veterinary science, specializing in animal welfare.

A few years ago, I began to notice a slight tingling or strange feeling on my backside. Being a typical man, I took no notice and carried on regardless. Over a few days it began to lose a strange feeling and was now more of a painful feeling. My Google history at that time would show some serious research involving the anus and its related health problems, my self-diagnosis having piles. Every day it seemed to get more painful and when showering I found a small lump about the size of a small marble about two inches north of my anus.

Google told me that it was probably not piles but another random page told me that it could be. Each day when doing manual work around the farm it would get more and more painful, with every passing day the lump grew ever so slightly or was it my imagination? One morning whilst showering the daily prodding inspection told me yes this thing was growing at a faster rate and I really should bite the bullet and get along to a doctor. I'd kept my wife informed normally over breakfast and her advice was always go to the doctors. I made an appointment at the next available opportunity which is in two days time. In those two days, I was in trouble. The glands in my groin grew to the size of marbles

themselves to combat some sort of infection. In a show of utter contempt for my well-being, the lump decided to put on a show for the forthcoming inspections by healthcare professionals. It was now much larger than a marble, probably twice the size. And when washing in that area, the pain was getting out the hand. On the morning of the appointment, I knew I was in trouble. As I got out of bed,

I could feel the pressure of the lump against my ass cheeks. I tentatively reached around until my sheer horror found it to be the size of a chicken's egg. Jeez, man. I went along to the doctor and declined the offer of a seat in the waiting room, the pain was too much. In I went, explained to the doctor what the issue was.

I was still uncomfortable about having it looked at, but that was my issue. When I lay on my side on the table and pulled down my pants, the doctor said, oh my, I knew I was fucked. He explained to me that it was a perianal abscess and that no amount of antibiotics would help. The wait time for a surgeon was not inconsiderable, but certainly too long for my issue,

and my only option was to go along to A&E. So, a 90 minute drive north to Hobart later while cringing and whinging at every bump in the road, I went to A&E. Fortunately for me, it was a very quiet morning at the hospital and I was taken to a cubicle where I was examined by the on-duty doctor. When looking at the offending lump, his silence was deafening. After a few moments he said, can you just wait there, I need to make a phone call. About 30 minutes later, a man came in to see me and explained that he was

the on-call surgeon and maybe I had an issue he could attend to. On my side I went, pants down again, and he said, and I kid you not, Jesus Christ. Oof. Whilst examining the exercise lump, it was now so painful that my eyes were tearing up. Within an hour I was prepped

and being willed to the operating theater. As I entered the theatre there were approximately a dozen medical staff there, all suited up ready. The operating table had what I would describe as stirrup-type supports on that you would see in films associated with childbirth. I thought fuck my life. I came into recovery and immediately felt great. The surgeon visited and said it was one of the most impressive examples of the human body to deal with an ingrowing hair. He gleefully said that the many surgical students who witnessed the surgery were horrified as to how much pus and blood can accumulate in one small area.

The wound, he said, was about four centimetres deep and had to heal from the inside out to prevent further infection. It meant having a community nurse visit me daily to change the dressing for a few weeks. I left the hospital with a small pack of high-strength oxycodone tablets and was told not to take any until the nurse came the next day. The next morning, albeit a little sore, I felt great. The nurse rang and told me to take two tablets I was given in readiness for her visit in an hour's time, as the dressing change could be, in her words, uncomfortable. She arrived with another person, a female in her late teens, early 20s. She asked if I

had any problem with a student nurse assisting. What can you say? It's fucking embarrassing, but to say no would be selfish. I showed my ass what felt like the 50th time in two days. The nurse explained that after the surgery the first material they use is gauze based and can be a bit awkward to remove as dried blood can stick to it. Let me tell you gents, when she pulled that dressing out it felt like it was attached to my navel. The paint was horrendous, albeit short-lived. She then said she had to insert a measuring rod into the wound to check the depth daily to make sure it was healing from the inside out. The insertion of that human dipstick into a fresh wound was again hilarious. My pillow was damped from the

various excretions that were from my face that was pressed into it to prevent audible crying. I'm pleased to inform you that with every day the pain became less and less to the point whereby apart from the awkwardness of the situation it was not a great problem. Every single day the nurse brought along a different student nurse to help. Being in a remote part of the world, I estimate that 8% of the local population here have now seen my arse. So my advice to anyone experiencing any sort of weird or uncomfortable sensational symptoms, get along to the doctors. I wouldn't wish lumps the size of an egg on anyone's ass. Keep doing what you do. Your podcasts keep me company while I'm working around the property and bring me to laughter more often

than livestock would find acceptable. Classics such as rubbish is chattable. I forgot about this. It looks like you're really enjoying that. The potpourri and the role play in the sauna with Tom being a smoking, drinking American, nothing short of hilarious. Thanks to all of you, it's greatly appreciated. Well, that was actually an amazing email that was written by Catherine saying I've got some chores to do. Very much like a foe living on my own farm. That's insane. By the way, also, when I said to you about looking after and being on top of your ingrown hairs That was not just and what this guy's going for is permanent to that Eastern bar bandicoot

I'm gonna call it now one of the best emails you've ever received. Yeah. Yeah Congratulations, thank you. All the famer all the famous. I'm gonna say this now that email was better than everything else We've said on today's podcast this now that email was better than everything else we've said on today's podcast. My guy, you should do your own podcast about his arse. Yeah you should do it, you should do it. I mean I was gonna bat say don't keep telling the same story but we've managed it for a few years now on this podcast so I think you'd be alright. Right Tomo, you've got chores to do. Yeah. What did Kat come in there and say by the way? What's going on? She said there's some stuff, there's someone at the door and I've got to move some stuff

around. So yeah, it was chores. All was chores. So, let me sum up like this. Oh, hold on. Before you sum up, a request from the Curb crew, could you make sure to mention that the tickets for the Belfast show are now available? Okay, cool.

Links to the Opera House details and tickets are on our Wolf and Al pod. So our friends the Belfast show are now available. Okay, cool. Links to the Opera House details and tickets are on our wolf and our pod.com. So our friends at Belfast. Wolfandourpod.com. Yeah, it's gonna be a banger. We're very much, there's some big, big plans for an extravaganza of excellence. Yeah, yeah.

That's not true, is it? It's just gonna be a regular Wolf and I'll. Okay, go for it, Tom. Hey, Fred. Yo, go for it, Tom. Hey, Fred. Yo, how you doing? Good. What's the table made up for? For you?

Wow. For me? Yeah. Is that bread I see before me? Yes, it's bread that he wants to break. Because that bread symbolizes our friendship. As one, we're broken into two, it'll be enough to nourish both ourselves. What am I getting at? Who are these guys? They're just two average joes. But I guess that's the thing. Average joes knows that friendship is one of the most

important things. It's a currency. I guess in a way sometimes it's between two people who have known each other for decades. A smile across the table as their family suggests. It could be across oceans, across lands. Someone on the other side of the world with an egg in his anus. Although you've never met him, you feel an affinity to him because you know what? He's been there. He's experienced it, he feels the same. And that's what life is, that's what hearts are. A bit, that's what minds are too.

I guess that's what I'm trying to say. We don't always remember the stories of old, ancient times. A man with a beard going from town to town, telling stories and turning that bread that sat upon the table into fish. But we have our modern stories, stories of eggs and anuses that could have killed a man because he listened to a podcast. He took his time and he found something special and he got healed. I'm not saying that that podcast was Jesus like what I am saying is check in check out the most of all smile because you know what that guy in Gales said a

few stories of that man you won't be the best friends you've ever met god damn it really really nice song really really thank you and really sort of big metaphor there. I didn't know what specifically you were talking about. Yeah. Yeah. We've played Soft Play on this podcast before, but they've just done a reissue of their album, Heavy Jelly, Heavier Jelly.

So JT, could you play us out with a little bit of Binge Juice Disaster by Soft Play? It's well worth checking out that album. Thank you so much, guys guys for listening to the podcast We will see you Next time we're recording another episode this week because JT is gonna be away So actually the next that the next episode will not be after the marathon or Yeah, it'll come out after the marathon But we won't be able to sort of say what you're in there

I mean, there's anybody care who knows and we'll keep you updated as to the ongoing developments of this film uh yeah we could reach out to himesh this week that's what I'm saying yeah I'm gonna message himesh and just I'm gonna just say to him provisionally we've not got any interest in this yet would you be up for playing I think if you attach himesh to Vince Vaughan it's a great light. I think it is pretty much, that's a great light isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Well Vince Vaughan might be tougher but I'll do what I can. No, but I'm saying if you get them then it's a great light.

Yeah, yeah, if we get them, yeah, that's great. There's a movie baby. Right, people. Alright, see you later, bye bye. See you later, keep your face. Alright, bye bye bye bye bye bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.

I'm Max Rushton. I'm David O'Doherty. And we'd like to invite you to our new podcast, What Did You Do Yesterday? It's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's a show that asks guests the big question, quite literally, what did you do yesterday? That's it. That is it. Max, I'm still not sure.

Where do we put the stress? Is it what did you do yesterday? What did you do yesterday? You know what I mean? What did you do yesterday? I'm really downplaying it. Like, what did you do yesterday? I'm just a guy just asking a question.

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