Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 23: Dartmoor Ghosts & Alien Overlords

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

We’re talking… warm bath podcasting, opera singing, more tales from Rom’s European tour, lost luggage, baggy boxer shorts and Tom’s Dartmoor writing retreat - where he learnt lots about ghosts in walls and pixies on bridges from a lovely tour guide. Plus, an arse pebble in Helsinki, another ethical dilemma, a podcast disruption by our alien overlords, some love for puppets and an email about Ronan Keating not eating a cream horn. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Feathers or fur? Sharp teeth or feet with claws? Whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all last requests to steady your nerves Then podcast the body parts, get severed and served Bring your weak shit where the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows

Have the crowd witnessing the murder like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing All you hear's a huff and puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive innit, the death bringing its head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men

Dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello, dear listeners, and welcome to the little podcast that we call the wolf and our good to have you with us. I'm trying to do more. You know, like a reassuring. Yeah, we do like a reassuring it. You know, like how like a comfy thing. I want to do a comfy thing because like a nice couple, you know like how, like a cump thing. I want to do a cump thing. Cause we do it. Like a nice cup of Horlicks.

Yeah, like, you know, like warm bath podcasting. So, um, Oh, hello everybody. It's Romesh Ranganathan, the owl. And I'm, I am John Davis, seldom known as the wharf of your earbuds. And look, thank you for joining us once again. Every week it's an honor. Sit with a milky tea friend as we take you on a passage where you relax and become at one with everyone. Oh my God, your voice is so good for that. Can I, I can't do it like that. You've got like a, I don't know how to pronounce this word, tam, tam, timber.

You've got a timber to you the timber Tambor is it tambor? Anyway, the point is you've got some of your new ways. It's a deem Mr. My voice I can't get that day. I Was working last night and some like a warm hug Enveloping its large arms around your I get on someone the person who commented on my voice yesterday asked if I could sing operatically. And I was like, no, I haven't got any opera in me.

I don't, listen, I love your voice. I don't know if I think that you've got opera, maybe like a deep baritone. Opera. Opera. Pardon? What did Pavarotti, Pavarotti wasn also that but that's the words running Pardon what did power up ever? He wasn't that deep was a That's the best thing that song I knew the words to this Well, because I did it for Rob L'Roch versus, didn't I?

So I didn't know all the words. We did it on the Redknapp, the ill-fated Redknapp Sky Show that we did. And I sang it with Paul Potts. Oh, yeah. No, I remember that. That was like, because that was a lot like people saying, it's like, you know, in the, that was their equivalent in that show of like, you know, in the, that was their equivalent in that show of like, you know, in Tim and Dawn get together

in the office. Yeah, yeah, very much so. Yeah, me and Paul Potts singing together. Yeah. It was the 22 viewers that we had on that show were really in there. And then. Yeah.

Anyway. That was my brief foray into the world of entertainment and realized it wasn't in my wheelhouse. What are you talking about? You're in entertainment, Don. Your moment where you drop the pints on road trip is probably one of the funnest moments. I'd arguably say that's just being a clumsy fool.

Yeah, but you've naturally just got it. Yeah, I'm a massive dingus. Whether it's a product of chaos or a product of the pen Regardless what you did was wonderful my friend Davis is an affluent and complete fool But no what I mean is is that there's a skill to be an event to do that version of entertainment And it was not something I was very good at. No you've got that skill. You've got that skill. No no no. You have it in abundance and Joel Domet has it in abundance. Like I would have people on that show and we've been interviewing them and I think the person I'm interviewing is better interviewing

people than I am. Yeah, I just, yeah, I'm not really good at that vibe. We have had quite an eventful few days on the tour, Tom. Oh wow, hit me baby. I want to know how stressed, well two things I want to ask actually. First of all, has this ever happened to you and how stressed would you be about this? Go on. But we did shows, I've done like six shows or something since I last spoke to you, maybe more. And we went to Stockholm and then we flew from Stockholm. No, did we?

No, sorry, we flew from Bergen. Oh God, where were we? Well, you've been everywhere. So, sorry. You're like a proper, this is a proper tour now. When you're in Europe and this is like proper. We were in Bergen, Norway and then we flew to Helsinki. That was it.

We flew to Helsinki. I saw your post about, you went very Tondamius with the Helsinki post, by the way. I love to think that was in, went and tell it for you. Can I just say I'm finding really really annoying. What's happening with you? Because the thing is, I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you.

I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you.

I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of you. I was very proud of worked. I was very proud that you went and set it up for you. Can I just say, I'm finding it really, really annoying. What's happening with you? What are you doing? No, because I've got such glare in these glasses. I'm like, before we started this, I worked, tried 15, 20 times.

I've seen six different light settings since we started. And they've all got this glare in them. I don't know where to take the glasses off. Now I look like Milharz. Oh, don't the room. I don't know where to take the glasses off. Now I look like, I look like Milford's friend. Oh, don't, don't, don't, don't. Because you look like somebody's on his first Zoom or something. I don't have to have this.

There's a glare in these glasses, and I can't quite work out where it's from. I think it's the screen. So the screen. How come you don't get one? Get one what? Oh, are you talking about visually? You've got, is that what you're talking about?

No, no, no, no, there, there, there. There, there, there, there. So what? Yeah, but I'm so really. So what? I think it looks shabby. Get one what are you talking about visually you've got Yeah, so I Think it was shabby. I thought you I thought you were being dazzled, but no no no listen listen first of all 20 seconds if this is gonna get put online Why don't you worry about your shit sound rather than fucking having a reflection? Today Look JT said your sound's not sound good. Whistling, yeah, yeah.

JT's been saying that your sound's not sound, right? Yeah. But to me it sounded alright. JT thought your sound didn't sound sound, but I thought it sounded sound. Yeah, but he was saying that the sound is very whistling. He said you got a hiss. Like a snake.

Like a slowly going down inflatable boat blown. Anyway, I think we've digressed off of Helsinki and your story. Anyway, we arrived in Helsinki. And Gratz, who was traveling fairly light as it was, his suitcase got left in Stockholm. Yeah. Oh, no. So we just stood. It's quite sad, isn isn't it when you stood by the luggage thing. Yeah, so really?

All the other cases have come off and then you just sort of hopefully, you just sort of just stood there thinking maybe they just, they'll look down the back of the old vehicle and they go, oh, oh, we missed one. Here you go. Oh, Mr. Rubella. Yeah. Nearly missed your boat. It's your little suitcase of joy that we've we've got here but yeah so then he had to do this and first of all the airline

said they said it will be here 815 tonight but there's nobody to bring it to you so you'll have to come back and get it obviously the show would have started by then so then Grazio had to couldn't get changed. And he's very clean. He's like a very great. He's feeling like, isn't he? Almost. He is. He's often licking himself. He can't do it as well as he normally does because of the cast. But often you can see him sort of pouring at that. And if you give...

Actually, Graz... People don't know this about Graz, but if you give him a little scratch on the back of the head, he does purr. He does purr. Yeah. He does. And his big. Yeah, he does. And his big green eyes just look at you and he sort of smiles, that beautiful smile. Sometimes he does that Chinese cat thing where he just waves his hand up and down, like, when you're on stage. So anyway, we had to send someone out to get toothpaste for him or whatever, while the show was going on and he was sitting there a while.

And he was very kind of zen about it. He was annoyed initially but then yesterday morning he was reunited with his case and beautiful scenes it was really really wonderful at Helsinki Airport he got his case back and it really did feel like you know we take things for granted don don't we, Tom? You know, you take having a bag full of your little knapsack of stuff, you just take it for granted. Grats, for him yesterday, getting changed, felt like a real luxury. Had he had to go full underpants inside out, do you know?

I don't know if he went underpants inside out. I do know that the gussetet as we refer to it was was in real trouble you know. I don't think it was soiled but I think it was solid. Yeah it's just you know by the way he's not said any of this I'm just assuming because I think it's been an off-flight that gusset is taking a battering isn't it? Yeah Yeah, it's like constant. It's constant gooch contact. Yeah that amount of time You know when you see a storm footage footage of a storm and you see like a harbor getting absolutely smashed to bits by Yeah, that's what Greg's gusset What's all about the pants is he is it know we're doing a lot of Grax talk here,

but what sort of underpants does Grax wear? You guys are the standard men of our sort of age, which is a boxer brief. So a tighter boxer? Not the old baggy sort of boxer? Yeah, yeah. No, the baggy ones... I can't wear them. Why not? There's too much to go wrong in that.

I totally agree. You're flapping about. If you get a mickey drip, that could end up on your fucking ankle. You know? You know? I just want to say, they bunch up so badly. Yeah, they really do. It's horrible when you're sat down and then you're sort of pulling it from the inner creases

of your kind of thigh pubis area. Do you know sacks? Do you know sacks? The tour pant sacks? Do I know sacks? Mate, I've got about 20 pairs of them. Sacks? I'm pretty sure I recommended them to you.

Yeah, you did. And they have... The ball hammock? Yeah, the ball hammock is gang changing for a man of our age. It really is. It's, yeah. My balls now feel like they're a different, yeah, it's so beautiful.

They feel like they're nestled. So it's literally like, oh wow, someone does care about us. Yeah, it does feel nice. It feels like, it's like, it reminds me a little bit of, you know, Atlas holding up the Earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ball hammock just going, I've got you so how much good at this was he named before Like they named atlases after him

It's a great question Yeah, I think that this was before the books, but um Well, yeah, I mean it's almost like they they should have fucking know you've held up the earth Here we go in a lame load of books after you. The name Atlas originates from Greek mythology, where it's a name of a Titan condemned to hold up the heavens. Today, the name Atlas... Okay, I don't know.

That's the answer to that. But I mean, do people buy Atlas's anymore? No, it's a really good drop down. Although, you know what? I've just been in Dartmoor. Yeah. Went to Dartmoor for a little research of a retreat kind of days of writing. I'm still a very good job down. Although you know what? I've just been dark more. Yeah, when the dark will for um, The researcher retreat couple days of right. I've never done this by the way. I'm really excited I'm gonna do this for my next show. I'm gonna I'm gonna do a writers retreat. It's very good. It's very good

it's good for the head and Which we'll get onto in a minute, but part of it We had a tour with a guy who is a Dartmoor expert Amazing guy absolute legend for a man very sweet soul Um, I mean that's that is what other people just describe a bloke Yeah, but no, he no he genuinely was he actually had such sweetness in him Like it was something that he had a beautiful aura. It was incredible to be around him But you know with some people just so kind and nice,

and I was like, I actually need this in my life right now, this kind of gentle kindness. Okay, all right. This is so much, man, it's so much. We were on Dartmoor and he was talking about, he's made a map of Dartmoor, these maps with all the local legends and all the local stories, which was really great. It's kind of's kind of a map I like because there was a lot of pictures on

it that he sort of self-penned. Well, a map is a picture, isn't it? No, but you're such a facetious little thing. What's that about? I'm not facetious! No, you were like, you went, a map is a picture, isn't it? No, but... Your mouth did this. It's like your lip, you couldn't wait to get it out, so your lips were going, I don't know if we should say this but your brain went come on we haven't been

a prick yet today no hold on a minute but a map is a picture that's not a prick thing to say yeah I'm asking a picture but this this was a picture with a wider picture like there's little pictures a big picture with loads of little pictures like the little features are kind of expanded. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you know like a theme park map Yeah, okay. Yeah, which is never to scale but always enjoy. What? No, you don't want them to scale there To be tired. No, yeah Yeah But yeah, he was very he was very much in tune with the paranormal and ghosts and such

Okay, and he was telling me about different types of ghosts. You know, I'm into I like all this stuff. Yeah very much in tune with the paranormal and ghosts and such. Okay. And he was telling me about different types of ghosts. You know I'm into, I like all this stuff. You're not a believer are you? I mean, you know people say I'd love to be a fly on the wall. Thank God I wasn't for this conversation with you, Tim. By the way, I'd love him to come on this podcast and chat because he was such a beautiful.

Invite him on then. Yeah, but you'd have to be really nice to him because he's very very he's quite is a gentle gentle piece of work He's very very like you were What happened on the malls? Feels like you've had you're talking like you've had some sort of transformative experience with this guy Forever connected so are the types of guys that... Well, you can't go on the Moors and not feel a connection with the people you're on there with. It's probably the similar connection you've got to Robin Gratz from being in Europe on the tour with

him. Yeah, there's this infinity. I did Dartmoor every year for like 10 years. Did you? Yeah, because like we used to do an ex... I used to be the head of Sixth Form, we'd do extra trip to extra And part of the extra trip was we take later six formers out on to Dartmoor. Oh my god. You never told me this Well, yeah I'm just trying to relate, you know, but anyway, you know, but the big black cats and some of the wishman's words and all that stuff? Whispering words, I think so the best ones wish words. Yeah, wish them words. The back catches a myth, isn't it? No By the way, some of the ghost stories gave me the willies man. I had the proper willies

Did you camp out there? How much writing were you doing on this? It sounds like you It sounds like you're making doing a British remake of break back with this guy I found it. I found it. I found it very like I Found myself going. I actually this is what I needed from but he was telling me about have you ever It's really annoying that stuff but like that that some of the guy basically there's a sort of version of ghosts but it's different versions of ghosts and one of them is the ghost are you delivering this to me as facts now no there's ghosts that get caught like they'd be like inside rocks and stones and like inside old houses yeah so

it's almost you know like pretty best way of explaining to someone like you is like, you know, like Princess Leia in Star Wars one, where she's the R2D2 gets her and she comes out as a hologram. Yeah. That is quite a lot of ghosts are like that. Like they'd be recorded by the walls. Tom, can I just say something?

First of all, Star Wars one, I can't, I don't think I've ever heard it anybody call it Star Wars one right secondly But basically just said about the ghosts in the rocks that is not the same as what's happened as our 2d2 It's got a fucking recording of princess plays so the DVD players are they yeah, yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's that's That's what I was going to learn and explain to you, is if this one didn't work. Yeah, like they hold the spirits inside the houses and they're hid. So it's almost

within the water, within the stones. It's fucking remarkable. What is not that? how does it show itself because basically what he was saying is rocks and objects of me and you would walk past and go that's just a stupid old rock is actually I would never say those words who the fuck is going that's a stupid old rock I've said that you never said that that's a stupid rock yeah like you's a stupid old rock. Yeah, like if you see a stupid rock, some rocks you go, what a noble rock. Look at that beautiful rock. You might touch it with your hand. Some of you go, well that's a bit of a stupid old rock.

No. Yeah, no use of that. I know you're just saying this to wind me up now. Anyway, carry on with your fucking story. Right, no, so rocks hold spirits in them. It's almost like... I know, I know. This is the same point again for the fourth time.

How does it show itself? It shows itself through almost like a recording, through water, through light, through all that sort of stuff. What are you talking about? Mate, it's insane. It's like he was telling me about it. Did you see it? No, no, I didn't see it.

He was telling me he'd seen loads of them. Mate, this guy's seen seen fairies pixies. He's like he's a really beautiful soul. Yeah He's what do we know? You don't believe it anything like that when you were a dog with the kids when you know, you know, come here everyone gather around No, but like We'd with many to my ley lines and stuff like that and then you should put away my lines Yeah, so you didn't get into sort of like sort of the culture of like yeah Yeah, but we didn't talk about pixies and fairies

I mean we didn't mention pixies pixies everywhere a big pixie house there. It's a pixie bridge He's even tell me about people who've seen like he was so interesting and he's like he microdoses mushrooms bridge he was telling me about people who see like he was so interested and he's like he microdoses mushrooms and he was saying that he's well listen well can you just tell you that's probably the least surprising thing you've said since you started telling this dark monster the only thing that surprises me is micro yeah that sentence Can I say by the way, I brought him two dinners and both times it was you know, like, what was this? What did you do? You said it's a writers retreat. Yeah, I went away with this guy. You with this guy on Dartmoor for

the sounds like the whole day, you've ended up buying him two dinners. What happened? You know, the bit in the twist where like, he gets to Fabian's house and he eats for the first time. And he really started, that's what he was like, this, the food. Like, wait, I got a steak dinner, he said, oh my god, this is the best dinner I've ever had. He was so sweet.

Is this real? Are you being too serious? I swear, it's real, yeah. I was shit. Where did you stay? Where did you stay? I stayed in a place called Prinztown. And who went with you?

I thought it was me. I got a little bit, but me and, do you know Charlie Cooper? Oh, you don't want to give away, so you guys went away. Yeah, and James DeFront. And then did you guys go and hang out with this guy as part of the project, or was this just like a... No, no, we hung out, part of the project was hanging out of him and then we we actually enjoyed his company so much So why absolutely?

I mean Charlie's very much into that stuff He I don't know if you've seen his show about the folk folk stuff. He's very into that stuff Yeah, you've got really open your I'd love to go to dark with you. I want to be one of my fantasies I mean based on the fact is part of this project thing I'm wondering if you're going to be allowed to include any of this. Oh no, no, okay. In the, in the podcast.

Okay, fine, fine. But one of my fantasies would be taking you to Dartmoor and see, like, just watching your mind explode. Yeah, but you just don't, yeah, let's, well let's organise it, shall we? We should do it for the podcast. Would you do it? Would I go to Dartmoor with you? Yeah?

We could go you? Yeah? We could go camping? Yeah. Oh my god, this is absolutely a dream. Yeah. This is a dream. I'm not going to go camping. I don't mind staying in a hotel.

But I'm not camping. By the way, for a place that's very agricultural, they eat a lot of meat and cheese. There's not a lot of vegan stuff, but we'll find them. I'll see that you're on your way. ["Dreams of a New World"] Okay, would you like, I've just found, or I stumbled across one of these ethical thought positive things

So I thought I'd give you one of those Yeah And then maybe we do some emails, yeah? Cool Oh, actually, sorry, I need to say this I need to give this shout out before I forget actually So in Helsinki Right

You will not believe, Tom, you are going to. By the way, Helsinki is a real hotbed for fairies and pixies. I think it's a hotbed for trolls, isn't it? Yeah, but Finland and Iceland. And fairies, yeah. Something like 70% of people, there's actually like a pixie council. There's someone in their government

who looks after pixies. Yeah, okay. Bear with me one second. So in the Helsinki show there was a man sat on the front row and he had, imagine this in Helsinki, a Wolfenal T-shirt on. Wow. So immediately drew my attention right, he sat right at the front. So at the end of the first off I said to him you got wolf and I'll teach it just as I was walking off and he goes yeah and then I come back out and I thought I'm gonna talk to that guy at the top of the next top of the next section so I come out Tom you're gonna love this

going I come out I start to talk so I'm just trying to find his email because he's emailed me afters but anyway I'll find it a bit I come out and I say to him are you got wolf and our t-shirt on are you into the wolf and out? And he's from the UK but lives in Lives in Helsinki already here. I've been for been there a few years Sister sent him the t-shirt and the other thing she sent him you're about to lose your mind the other thing she sent him fresh from Brighton an arse pebble. Oh my god wow. He had an arse pebble with him painted blue. Oh man. It felt like a real like a company moment do you know what I mean? And then basically him and his sister were trying to

get tickets to the Brighton show so I've given them free tickets hope you don't mind. No no no more over that we should definitely try and chat to them as well after. Oh here we go oh where's this oh I found it. This name is Howard. Well do you know Howard straight away I hear Howard I don't know if it's because of my Dartmoor experience but spiritually when I hear the name Howard I smile. Yeah. Like that's a good yeah. Yeah okay this is I mean I could have said any name and you would have said something like that. All right. Okay. This is called no six experience machine, which is a bit. I mean, this is slightly we've heard stuff like this before, but A mad scientist invents a machine that would allow you to live in a personalized simulation, similar to a video game or the Matrix.

The scientists can guarantee that you'll be happy in this machine as it caters to your every-woman fantasy. And while you're in the machine, you won't even know it's a simulation. All that said, every person and thing you encounter within the machine is simply a program simulation, and nothing and no one you encounter

will be real. The catch is this. If you choose to live in the simulation, you can never go back to the real world. What would you want to do? Would you spend the rest of your life where you're happy in a fantasy world, or choose to live your life in the real world?

That's a tricky one. You have to imagine some, like, provisos. Like, for example, I can't imagine waving least from the kids goodbye to go into my happy machine so I'm assuming this is like this is assuming you've got no you know the trouble with it right and I think it's a very strange thing because I actually think if you're in something like a happy machine right it's the same thing constantly, it's a bit like something like the Truman Show, right? At some point you're going to question happiness because actually the truth and speaking quite

openly in the last couple of weeks and yeah, I've really struggled with quite a few different things of mental health things. And it got, you know, I put up a post about it and I felt a bit of, I guess, a funk or just, I've not really felt myself. And actually in the last couple of days, I've started coming out of that a bit and started feeling quite a little bit more, my perspective of what happiness is

and the things that I look at and actually And this sounds really like a week ago Literally everything in my life. I felt very very low about everything like everything but there was nothing Yeah, and I'm I know I blessed I'm a no luck. Yeah, that's another thing entirely but I just felt sucked in such a low place that I just felt down about everything. And now to come out of that, as silly as it sounds, I look at things and you feel that a little bit more happy. And that, in a sense, those lows and the highs

are what keep, I guess, I feel a bit more joyful seeing things that, oh, shoot, that's fucking amazing, knowing that a week ago, I didn't see things like that and go, oh, shoot, that's fucking amazing. Knowing that a week ago, I didn't see things like that. My perspective has somehow shifted and I feel a little bit more. And actually, that in life isn't, although it's tough and that is what it is, and a lot of people go through mental health and whatever and depression. But when you come out of it, I suppose you rejoice and then take that as being, rejoice and take that as a little bit more, whereas if that was your constant life was always just being in a place where you're very,

very happy and you're like, oh, this is, you know, I think at some point you'd lose sight of what happiness actually is and actually you take it for granted. I used to do stand up about, this is so boring, why have I started talking about this, but I did-up about this is so boring. I'm about so I'm gonna start talking about this But I I did stand up about this, but it's not about me to sound about it I believe that your football team if they win all the time that is less fun Then if they're sort of a bit middling right as an as a consumer experience, right? Yeah, I just think if your team wins everything you you just stop feeling as excited when they win a trophy or whatever. But when Arsenal did the invincibles and all that, it was amazing.

But when we were sort of like dipping a bit, you didn't go into games expecting Arsenal to win, right? You were just like, fuck, I don't know how this is going to go down. And then when they did win, it felt incredible, right? And I feel like there's like a sweet spot of where your football team should be. And it's not smashing everything. That is not that's not your happiest as a football fan. I don't believe. Right. I think that's what you're talking about. What you're talking basically what you're saying is if you don't have the rough, you

don't appreciate the smooth. That's basically saying it's peaks and troughs, right? Yeah. It's ups and downs, isn't it? It's lefts and rights. Yeah. It's ups and downs isn't it? It's left some rights. Yeah, it's yeah Was it backwards? Is it so don't be part of said David Brent said it about Dolly Parton said David Brent said it Yeah, it's only part where you know who said that originally if David Brent know that that don't be part of David Brent said It was how can you have a rainbow? You got a little right of a ring by essentially You gotta have a wind to you have not went haven't you yeah You've got have you've got to have some to get some but yeah Well, even as a son now even in the side you can get some but

As beautiful as the sun is be careful. It's right. So I think you're making a different point, but yeah Yeah, I got you saying yeah. Yeah, I understand that're making a slightly different point. But yeah, I get what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, I understand that. So you'll say you wouldn't go in the machine. I wouldn't go in the machine. I would say as well, you know what? It's like, I don't know whether I'd look too deeply into it, but if everything's programmed to be nice,

and again, if everyone would lose any sense of meaning, right, I think actually people people are decent and nice and you know, when people reach out on a kind, you know, they've taken, that's them being, you know, decent in their heart. Whereas if they're programmed just to be nice all the time, you know, it loses any sense of meaning. It doesn't go into this in the situation, Tom, but I'm assuming that you have your memory wiped so you don't know you're in a thing. Yeah, but then even that, it's like...

Yeah, but then what I mean is you're not questioning it then. Then people are coming up to you being nice, you just think people are being really nice. You don't know that you're in a thing. I'd say it'd be awful being in that situation. If you had your memory wiped so you'd just lose any sense of, yeah. How certain are you that you're not in a simulation right now? Oh, me fucking hell no.

Well, I have no idea. Are you into like aliens and stuff? Have you seen that alien craft that was found, or what they believe is an alien, that was found in Columbia? The sphere. I wondered when we were gonna get back to the heady heights of the alien thing that was found in Colombia. The sphere. I wondered when we were going to get back to the Heady Heights of the Alien episode, but here we are.

Have you seen it? So what happened? No. Have you seen it? No, what is it? So it's like a sphere. Oh, I think I have seen this. They found this sphere.

Where did they find this sphere? In Colombia. And have they explained it? No. If you start looking into aliens, by the way, aliens and pixies are very, very much alike if you look at how they look right, yeah But this alien thing is mad like they like no one couldn't there's no explanation for it at all

But this might be an art project That'd be awful if it's got this Everyone really excited that some kid who's just other GCSE art projects. Is that what I say? They're saying I mean the first article I've looked up is art project or UFO. Yeah, I mean That's that's where you sit. Are you a believer who wants to believe or are you a cynic? Who is straight away? That's just a If you're not a cynic just you think it's an art project. You're still that's just a, it's an art project. No, but if you're not a cynic just because you think

it's an art project, you still believe, aren't you? You believe it's an art project. Yeah, but is it, do you think, do you believe in aliens? Do you think there's other extraterrestrials out there? I think they're probably, I mean, the odds are they probably are aliens somewhere, aren't they? Do I think they left that thing in Columbia?

That's a different question, isn't it? Do you? Well, I think I'm implying that I'm skeptical. At some point they're gonna, the aliens are gonna come and knock it and I don't think you'll be like independent state before you say that I think it'll be very- What was I gonna say? What was I gonna say? Why is that? No no no you're obsessed with that. Yeah no I know that you're obsessed with that sort of stuff, but I think it'll be actually quite a genteel and nice thing. I think they'll probably sort of, I actually, they'll come in and go,

hello, how are you? And they'll have learned their language because we won't get our heads around theirs. Well, we can't even get our heads around the languages on this planet, let alone picking up a fucking alien shot. But I think it'll actually quite sort of, and then you're like, oh actually maybe it's needed to get some aliens just to get the fucking,

you know, everything back on track. Oh my god, you were in a really fucking weird space this week, man. This Dartmoor thing has done something to you. You're chatting about like, ghosts and rocks and fairies and pixies and then we need an alien just to get us back on track. No, I'm just saying if there's an alien we'll call him Big Marty or something right?

And he comes down and he's got a really, like you remember Morka Mindy? Yeah, yeah I remember Morka Mindy yeah. We've got a time delay now which is good, that's for you Michael Aydens. Morka Mindy, yeah like if Mork came down now and was like put in charge of like human resources and being like, you know, like, sort of like in charge of stuff you go fucking easy. He's such he was so lovely walk. It's such a decent way. What have you done this morning before we've logged on to this podcast? What have you done this morning before we've logged onto this podcast? Well, I've been hoping to problem out with the capability of the house.

Tom, hold on one second, because you have gone so janky now, man. I can't even hear what you're saying now. Do you want to try logging off and logging back in or something? Hold on one sec. I'm going to call you. Hold on one sec. Hello? Can you hear this oh my god is that what's doing the whole time no just like doing this out of nowhere that's so weird literally just out of nowhere but that must be really really weird well look just see if you can sort it out look so that's what's

happened is Tom Davis his laptop we start talking about aliens and fairies and pixies now his laptop's gone funny so a bit weird a bit weird. Okay so yeah well don't start getting all intro-y again we've got a little bit of a situation Yeah, so so what's really interesting is I was talking about an alien dynamic I was talking about alien potential alien overlords in more conveniently right and then I know where my laptop starts freezing. Mm-hmm so What do you think?

Well, listen, I Think you could have been I think it could been, you've had your laptop too long. Is that what you're getting at? I don't think there's like an alien overlord type thing that I've seen that I'm onto something. And what do you think these alien overlords thought? Let's break his laptop for one day and have to record the rest of the podcast tomorrow. That'll show him. his laptop for one day and laughs to record the rest of the podcast tomorrow that'll show him no they know they probably know intrinsically know me and you and know that if stuff goes wrong with me you'd go oh fuck it let's just

not do it Mike or just fucking leave it just put a note out so you won't do it for a week so they probably think that that will that will cancel any problem that they had about us yeah how, how'd you like very interesting? How'd you like alien overlords? We decided to do it the next day and finish off the episode So fuck you exactly zig and sag Wow Right, right. Oh, did you remember zig and sag? They were nice. That's why I said their names. I've got no recollection of them They were fucking that there was's an element of me knew that completely can I say something Tom so I'm talking to like people listen up but

you looked off into the middle distance so wistfully when you thought about zig and zag there you're like well you know bloody hell bloody zig you bloody zag oh do you know the happiness they induce is, yeah, they're a good pair of guys. They can say, I wonder where their puppets are. Who's got them? Well, I think what's happened there is, in the course of that sentence,

you went to say whatever happened, and then you realized and remembered they were puppets, and then turned the question into wonder who's got their puppets now. Nobody question into wonder who's got their puppets now they Really gives a fuck. He's got their puppets now. We're joking They went up at like Claridge's or fucking one of the big auction houses to learn the zigzag puppets What you reckon 150 200 grand they go for you. Is this real this conversation? No, of course, you might be an alien overlord. What kind of shit is making Sig and Zack were fucking massive stars back in the day

They were fucking at least be to blow a minus level Everyone using exact they were out partying on the time. Well, right there pop like the puppets were the puppeteers Do you think the puppeteers by the way just did to get that what they did like Gordon the Gopher's it goes like I did a couple ofag? I am amazed, I don't know what it is, I think it's almost valiant that you're trying to push this avenue of conversation as to what else we think the puppeteers might be doing. No disrespect to puppeteers, and by the way shout out puppeteers, you know they do incredible work and like you know often it's the puppets that get their credit but actually you know shout out to the puppeteers you know on their knees kind of where they're slippery I could see you you're slant it's very

slowly into like an impression like you started off it what you what happened there is you started off actually being quiet you were like actually I should I don't want to be I don't want to get a fucking kick in from a load of puppeteers So you started off and then you realized that actually you didn't want to sound you wanted to be a bit more edgy and cool than that I didn't want to give the The puppeteers their props I've got visions of like, you know Just been at the beach with the kids and then there's a Punch and Judy show and Punch and Judy suddenly turn to me and then like, it's him. And then all of a sudden I'm getting chased down the road by Punch and Judy. Can't walk past a Sooty show without them fucking coming after me. Do you know what I mean?

Sooty ain't going anymore, man. Sooty's done. Sooty's fucking retired, boy. But there must be a Sooty somewhere. Like, Sooty must be. Yeah, I mean, but yeah, it'll be like fucking low-level now. He had it all bad. He had it all it was your favorite city sweep or say I'm not sure because he just sort of held it all together. I was found Sweep was a bit annoying. It's funny because I was gonna say if If I was to choose which of the threes energy you had It would be sweet You think I've got sweet tendencies. I think you got tendencies. I think got sweeps fucking personality makeup. So you'd be city and then

Like who would be so excited? Crossbow JT. Yeah, that's a bit. Yeah, JT actually JT is a bit Yeah, city sweep you told that story last week Sweet you've got you've got a hiss on your microphone. I don't know if the hiss is actually from my voice. I've got quite a raspy, sort of like, can you hear my voice? It's almost like it's a sort of-

A raspy, yeah, sexy, it's testosterone. You've got a bit of testosterone in the back of your throat. Last night, we did, between the, in the middle of this podcast, I did a Barcelona, a show in Barcelona, which was lit. Big shout out to the Barcelona crowd. What are we talking, big crowd? Well, I mean, the show was sold out, it was a big crowd. I think the room was 700 seater. Oh my god, my God. Just bear with me one second,

because there's two things I want to talk about. One, no more lit up like messy. You're like the messy of comedy now. Olivia Gabriela. Olivia Gabriela Grobs came to the show last night. Massive Wolfenau fan, also Bruce Grobbelaar's daughter. Wow, what? Yeah. That has blown my fucking mind. I swear there's a picture somewhere of Bruce Grobbler and Zig and Zag actually.

I swear that he met them. Is that true? Because if that's true, that would twist my melon, man. Get unlimited grocery delivery with PC Express Pass. Meal prep delivered. Snacks delivered. Fresh fruit delivered. Grocery delivery on repeat for just $2.50 a month. Learn more at PCExpress.ca. Anyway, the other thing that, the other reason I mentioned it, Tomo, is that I mentioned

being an Arsenal fan on stage. Right. And I got a few boos, which I was expecting, but somebody hissed. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I can't find a picture of Bruce Gobelow and taking a deck. Jesus, that's mad.

No, OK. That's a shame. That's a real shame. So they hissed you. Hissed, yeah. Like a panto. Mm. Fucking hell. I also posted a photo yesterday and it showed a little bit of cultural ignorance on my part.

Because Ben Green came out to Barcelona. Really? Really? To hang out. And I posted a photo of us and I just said, Rangabee Productions do, Barca. And you're not supposed to refer to Barcelona. Somebody, they didn't say it in an aggressive way. They said it in like a helpful way.

But you're not supposed to refer to the city as Barca. That's only the football team. Oh really? So I made a cultural faux pas. Well, it would have been okay if you'd done the picture of being at the new camp or camp new. They call it the camp new actually, don't make that mistake. I don't want you to get more problems. Yeah I don't want to get into more problems from sitting here listening to you say it. But can I tell you if you think

this is mad? In the interval, in the interval I had a full burrito. Is that mad? You had the interval? That's fucking insane. Did you not carry that with you the whole second half? Yeah, I mean obviously I did. No, but did you feel it? Well first of all I didn't, well yeah I did actually. I was about to sort of tip toe around it but no, I did feel it. And I also felt like I had a burrito breath as well. Not that the audience doesn't. It doesn't matter about breath. No, but you can feel it can't you? Do you mean? What did you have in it for falafel? No, so vegetables and stuff. Oh

Always have to be falafel. Did you have any proteins in it? What did it? No, not really. I don't think so Really? Oh no had beans like little I had When we were, vegetables. Like little... Right, you know what I'm saying? I had... Where were we? I think it might have been... Oh, in... Hold on, sorry.

This is so mad that I can't remember. Where was it? You're literally Michael Palin again now. You just literally travelled so much I can't even remember what countries you've been in. One of the shows, I can't remember what it was, it'll come to me in a minute. I genuinely had... This place called Falafel and Juice.

I had the best falafel I've ever had in my entire life. In my entire life, Tom. And I've eaten a lot of falafel. How was the juice? There's no juice, I didn't have the juice. I only sampled the falafel. How can you go to someone called Falafel and Juice and not have the juice?

Well, because they, weirdly they just- Especially if the falafel was incredible, you'd go, fucking hell, wait there. if the falafel's amazing this could be the best juice I've ever had. Yeah because if you're good at if you're good at falafel you're going to be good at juice but no if you're going to call it... mate you're not going to call it falafel and juice and let the juice fucking go oh we've got amazing falafel our juices are right you've got you're going to basically go falafel's amazing let's make the juice even better. I would say there's a shock by the way I I would say the festival you're right

I probably should try the juice but my counterpoint to what you just said is is Equally as light is to go. We've absolutely smashed the falafel. You could basically piss in the juice The falafel is absolutely flying out May if can I just say you if you've got a small town little restaurant and you're up against the big boys, you've got nothing that couldn't be left to chance. Because I'll tell you what, mate, you get someone who's going to go in there and go, what kind of falafel would you like, mate?

Actually, I'm just after a juice because I see you're called falafel and juice. So they've got to make sure that the juice will get that person back. Oh, okay. While we're talking about food establishments, which we are, I went to a place in Stockholm and then went to the same chain in Helsinki. It's called, brace yourself, Bastard Burger. Oh no, I saw you. I mean, I know it must be good because I saw you grumbling about it. Mate.

And you don't groan, mate. I, not only, I actually want to message them to tell them to please come to the UK. Why don't you fucking buy the franchise? You're in the food game now. I'm not buying a fucking franchise because I had a nice burger on tour, mate. What do you think I am? Mate, Rob. I'm not fucking Jay-Z.

Rob, you're already in the Coughlands game. You're in the fucking bakery game. I can't just get, just whenever I try Mom, you're already in the Coughlands game. You're in the fucking bakery game. I can't just get one more step in. Just whenever I try something, I'll get in the game. You are basically talking about this, but I've never seen you talk like this. You Instagrammed three times

about it. No I did not. Mate, you've not even Instagrammed about this podcast over the past three times. I probably have talked more about a bastard burger online even described about this podcast. I probably have talked about more about a bastard background than I have this podcast, that is true. Right, so I just think if it's like, I'll come in with you. Really? Oh, why did I say really like that?

Really? Really? Yeah, I don't know. This is very Barcelona, Europe. You know, you have become more European since this tour. You got a sort of cocky vibe about you. Don't do that because you're going to get in my head. You're going to get in my head.

When you come back I guarantee people will be like, someone's been to Europe for like a month. Someone's found himself and will wish he'd left himself there. I do like Europe though. Big fan of it. I love Europe. What I've got really great to do, I didn't think I was, the Scandi vibe I'm a big fan of, man. Yeah, the Scandis know how to dress, they know how to eat. They just, they do it right, man.

Big up the Scandis. Handsome, pretty. They dress impeccably, don't they? I know we're generalizing, but I mean just- And also very simple elegant colors Love it. I love it, bro. I think to get out to Scandinavia I've done it since I was my my uncle married a Swedish when we were kids But we stayed in the wilds as they go in Sweden. Yeah

Like which was which was like, you know, you're a big city mouse I was not fucking out there in the fucking in the woods, bro Fucking having to you know, huh and a big city mouse. I was like fucking out there in the fucking, in the woods, bro. Just fucking having to, you know, hunt and stuff, even when I was 12, so. What, when we were talking about, when we did the first half of this podcast, before it went wrong, you were talking about that man that you slept with in Dartmoor.

Have you had any time to reflect on what you, like sort of how emotionally you felt? I mean, I stand by everything,, sort of, how emotionally you feel about him? I stand by everything. I can't stop thinking about him. He's left a mark on me. He is an incredible human being. There's not a part of me that... You know, very much like when I first met you, you know when you meet someone you just think, wow, this person just walks a higher plane than most people. You know what I mean? There's something special about them, truly unique. And that's what I feel about him. I think it might be like bonding with someone in the outdoors. The outdoors is quite powerful,

isn't it? We've talked about it. Mate, the outdoors, and also Dartmoor has that hidden fucking entity that we can't even comprehend. We don't know what's going on beneath us. You know, like you were saying about ley And also dark war has that hidden fucking entity that we can't even comprehend We don't know what's going on beneath us. Yeah, like you were saying about ley lines but something else is going on bubbling beneath the ether and Yeah, that's very powerful. So when you meet a new kindred spirit Everything is enhanced. It's like wow that plus sign just turned to multiply. Yeah. It's amazing, isn't it? It's like sort of verbal chewing gum.

You delivered no information or opinion there, but you were able to talk for a while. It's incredible. It's actually a skill. You didn't say anything of any note or merit or value. I said that, no, I very much enjoyed his vibe. Yeah, okay. I do think that there's that I think there's a scope for this podcast with your traveling and and me go to You can't see two fucking 15 cities in fucking eight days. I've been to Dartmoor

But I think the traveling episode of this could be just quite fun. Mm-hmm. Just ask together just buzzing Yeah, yeah I think the traveling episode of this could be just quite fun. Just us together, just buzzing. Yeah. Yeah. We made each film, just getting to know each other. I'd love to share Dartmoor with you, but I'd also love to sit in Helsinki, stare across the table, eating a bastard burger and go, you know what? You're fucking right, bro.

You're fucking right. Yeah, no, really good. Really good. OK, should we do one email? Let's do a sweet free email. OK, this is the email. I just want you to respond to it. Hi, guys.

I've been listening to last week's episode where Tom expressed a very keen interest in seeing Ronan Keating eating a cream horn. By the way, just off the back of that, I've spoken to Sean Coughlin. Yeah. He is willing to make a limited edition cream horn for you. I wonder if we could get in touch with Ronan Keating and see if he would just for our Instagram just eat a cream horn.

That'd be amazing. Well maybe we should... That's a kind of traction. Are we going to hand out cream horns at the show like Usher doing the cherries, right? Is that the plan? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the plan. Whilst I'm... Whether we can get Ronan on stage at one of the shows to eat a cream horn. I was about to say, Rodan Keaton, if you're listening, he's not going to be listening to this, but let's try and slide into his DMs or something. Yeah, but then you know what we could do is just then get him to...

We're all three of us seeing life as a roller coaster at the end of the show That's a really great show really genuinely great show. Okay, I'll be listening to last week's I'll be an amazing show for everyone. It's gonna be hard to follow that anyway Go on I'll be listening to last week's episode where Tom expressed a raking interest in seeing rain and Keating in cream horn Well, I've not personally witnessed that I do think I can top it with my story of Ronan in the wild. Whilst at a festival around a decade ago, I saw a man approach Ronan in a bar, pick him up and twirl him around.

He obviously wasn't a massive fan of this being done to him. So the twirl was quickly followed by Ronan slapping the man across the face. What? Ronan fucking... Although I do think I can happily live my life never seeing him eat a green horn, I'm confident my life would feel less fulfilled

if I never got to see that. Wow. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. And also slapped him. They didn't even punch him. Slapped him.

Slapped him hard and good. Hard and good. A wet slap you're thinking or a dry slap? What's a wet slap? Are you joking? You don't know know what wet and dry slap is? No Wet slap Palm of your hand. Yeah dry slaps the back of your hand. Is that true? Yeah, you know that no

You've actually learned something from you. So no one ever said you'll get a dry slap to carry on that They might have done I just thought they're not gonna spit on their hand before they do it, whatever. If you spit on your hand before slapping, by the way, culturally in Europe, in Italy, certainly that is a sign of like, that's very demeaning. That's how you get flipped by the mafia. What I'd say, Tom, is the slap is fairly demeaning.

I don't think anybody's gonna, well, I wouldn't have minded him slapping me, but it's the fact that he's spat on his hand first. No, no, no, no, no. In Italy, man, if you did that and then slapped someone, that's considered... Mate, you know how you are about maths and all that sort of stuff? That's how I am about slapping. I'm a bit of a geek about that. I'm not that about maths. I'm not that about maths. I'm not that about math.

But I'm telling you now you don't if any European walks up to you he slaps you in the face Right, you have to do something about it if he spits in his hand then slaps you It's like you know the black spot the Pirates Mark of Death. No. What? I don't know what you're doing. What? the black spot the Pirates Mark of Death, so if someone gave you a black spot in your hand and That meant that you were gonna die. You're gonna get killed basically Oh my god, that's what the spit in the hand is in the Mafia. Okay, how'd you get the black spot on? Someone gives it to you in a letter a little envelope or someone shakes your hand and gives it to you Okay, somebody gives it to a letter in an envelope says can you put this in your hand?

No, no, someone gives you that an envelope and you open it It's got a black spot or if someone shake your hand and then when you put your hand away, you've got the black spot So a lot of parts They also have a black spot now. No, no, no, it's like a little like it's like cut out like a little bit of sort of Pirates pirates cut out a bit of crepe paper. Yeah Yeah, and then they'll put it in your hand That's why a lot of pirates would sort of people thought I'd just been rude, but actually it was like, well, not shaking anyone's hand. It's working. 50% charts. They give me a black spot. So. Okay.

Right. Tom, can you do us, can you do us the honor please, my Jay? I like to think you're walking out. It's a little bit wiser. I am genuinely. Okay. Here we go. Yo, hmm. Hey up there. Alien overlords or whoever's looking ghost in a machine maybe truth is, it's hard, isn't it? You think that maybe we're just the only people out there, the human race, plus animals and such. But the truth of the matter is, there's something else out there. But actually, let's just break it down a little bit and bring it back. See, sometimes it's very

easy just to think it's just you out there, you and the people surrounding you, and you forget that the world's a bigger place than that. You forget there's other people that need your help, other people that need a smile. It's easy to reside in the bubble in which you've created and not think of a bigger world, a wider world, more people. Push the thought, push the scale, tip the scale indeed and think ever more. Could I be doing more? Could I be expanding my bubble even if I'm not going to actually expand the bubble with more friends but could I be looking outside it seeing what I could do just to make the world a little bit of a brighter place. I'm not going to actually expand the bubble with more friends, but could I be looking outside it, seeing what I could do just to make the world a little bit of a brighter place?

I'm not saying that UFOs are immediately going to come down, but I will say this. If you push your bubble and open it up and you let more people in, the little UFO that is you, that is floating around the world, will come that little bit brighter. And the people staring at you will know that flying was merely the smallest of your tricks.

Oh, God, you look to me like you want me to fuck me then. That was horrible. I wish I could replay that look. I actually felt embarrassed, like sort of... Oh God, it was so horrible. Don't ever make me feel like that again. If Catherine sees that look across the sofa, she just goes for a walk. Right, JT, could you play us out with a little bit of Window Kid, please? Ramblin' Bars is such a great tune.

Thank you so much for listening. Sorry about the Frankenstein action in this episode. But have a good one. We'll see you next time. All right. Bye bye. Go Blitz, thank you. All right. Bye bye. Bye bye. Yo, these kind of beats I don't chat shit to. The Coldplay guy couldn't fix me, it's true.

I'm the guy that you sold that whiff to. And I've always got drip to, big zoo. You won't see me walk into, into. The shops in there I'm not really into. I make rhythms that you might get chin to if you walk into a shub that you ain't been to. Let me tell you a bit about me. W-I-N-D-O-W-K-I-D.

And I make my peas and I go home and order a fat Chinese bash. Yeah, I'm out on a sesh one. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com. That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you. How do you know if you're worrying too much? How can you mend a broken heart? Does peaking at school ruin you for life? I'm Susie Ruffall, a stand-up comedian and someone who has always experienced anxiety. And I've written a book, Am I Having Fun Now? Considering some of life's big questions. Featuring bonus insights from the likes of Charlene Douglas, Sarah Pascoe, Elizabeth Day

and Dolly Auderton. Am I Having Fun Now? is out now in Hardback, eBook and Audio.