Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 25: Avoiding Bees & Burnt Pizzas

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

We’re talking… bad audio apologies, a hot night of stand-up at Fulham Pier, avoiding swallowing bees, Amish holidays, antisocial phone use, news on Rom’s school board appeal decision, burnt pizzas at the prom after-party, Tom’s party house problems and keeping on top of stress. Then we take on a couple of quick-fire ethical dilemmas and answer an email from a 16 year old listener with a tricky romance predicament. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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points on your first five orders. Shop now at nofrills.ca. Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf and owler That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler Both of them are known to pull up at your shows Have the crowd witnessing the murder Like they're rolling with a gang of crows Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing, all you hear's a huff and puff and a... Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing his head spinning Just kidding, every word in this song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog Hello and welcome to The Wolf and Al We'd like to chat random shit for you and then you try and enjoy it If this was a TV show and you did that bit it would look so sick with those flare guns going off

Yeah, I mean it's a weird decision for me to do another theme. We've got a theme Suddenly I try and not make one up when that's your podcast starts Really it's become a synonymous with this podcast as my closers now your openness. Yeah That's that now you're really you're really just fucking taking the piss now. But- I do love the way that it always, your openers are so like candy cane sweet. And then you literally start here and then-

Yeah, I do. And also the other thing I've been accused of recently, we got an email into the podcast and some people said that is that when I'm doing the radio, my radio two show on Saturdays, apparently I've got an email into the podcast and some people said that is that when I'm doing The raid my radio to show on Saturdays apparently I've got a completely different energy to everything else I do like I'm really like hey man, but I think that might be just how I feel, you know, what can you do? We're all we're all multi-dimensional human beings guys Do you know I mean and sometimes you feel like this and sometimes you feel like that, you know and just Sounds like you know a little bit of wolf inside you don't try and slow my rock well i've had a bit of wolf inside me uh let me tell you something it's i would go back

again um can we give a big shout out to jay too who's look let's get this out of the way we got a couple of messages last week about it's sounding like tom was doing his podcast in a cathedral Tom was doing his podcast in a cathedral. Or a church, yeah. Yeah, or a church, or a temple. Yeah, people get it. Anyway, the point is, JT very kindly agreed to jump on just the double-checked top sound. He said there's a little bit of a hiss,

but he can live with that. But the other thing, Paul J.T., we don't give him enough credit, he's eaten a lamb and yogurt dish last night at some posh restaurant, and now he's got the lamb shits. No, not shits, he didn't say shits, he didn't say shits, he said shits.

He's actually like a culinary fiend, isn't he? He loves his food. He does, often when you sort of see him, he knows little hotspots to go for food. I I think he's sort of he's got like bearish you know every now and again and I love my mom very much every now and again my mom will sort of will make up a story yes a to just make the keep the conversation flowing which I think we're all guilty of doing. It's the first time that I've it's occurred to me that you remind me of my mother.

It's something you've done. It's something you've done for a while. And I just want to think why? Why is it I love Tom so much? And I think I've got money issues. I think you deliver something motheress to me. You know, I think comparing me to Shani is probably the nicest thing you've compared me to. I take that all day long. You know what, now you say that, I actually feel an energy whenever I'm around your mum. We're very similar. You know what, we're people-pleasers being your mum.

That's what we are. Yeah, well, certain people, yeah. So, Tom, can I ask you, how has your week been since I've last, I say last spoken to you, we speak, I would say if a day goes by that we haven't been in contact, I start to feel anxious, not anxious, anxious is such an exaggeration. A lot of things, yeah, that's it. I don't like it. It's been a nice chill. Mate, I did the launch of Fullham Pier. Fullham Football Club have got this just outside the back of their stadium.

We've got a pier now, which is an amazing outdoor space. They've got a place for comedy. I did that on Friday night, which was an absolute hot... This time of year is not for stand-up, is it? No. This is a brutal time for stand-up. I didn't think there'd be another restriction on when stand up works. But here you go. We found it. If the audience are too far away, if the seats are too comfortable, whatever, it's stand up doesn't work. And now we've got a

new one. If it's really sunny outside, God help you unless you've got really amazing aircon. And also aircon doesn't work alongside which I because they're caught will be aircon then people complain about the sound of the a little bit like any sort of sound quality of my what I was in a gig, I think the week before or a couple weeks ago where they had aircon and people complained that the aircon was too noisy. Right. And I don't think it was the audience think it might have been an act. But anyway, it was very I I had. It was so hot during this gig.

And I was doing half an hour and I was doing new material, trying to do stuff out. And I got about 20 minutes in. And you know, when you're doing new material, sometimes you lose your sort of wave a little bit. You lose your self belief and you think about giving up and then you text your friends and tell your wife that you're gonna quit.

Is that what you mean? No, that's literally a constant thing that happens throughout. But you know when you feel like you've completely lost any kind of, I started asking the audience to give me subject matters because I was, I completely, my mind went blank. I was like, I literally have got no idea what the next,

and this is quite a big gig, it was their opening. I was like, this is really bad. This is not a good look for me. And then lucky enough, and I need to shout this woman out, this woman just said, say the potpourri story, which was very fortunate because there was only three people in that room who'd actually listened to The Wolf and Howl. And that's what, those are the benefits of not promoting your podcast by the way. So that you can turn up to a new material gig and deliver some very old material.

Yeah, old material that, yeah. So lucky, fortunately for me, I managed to drag that story out for 10 minutes. But I don't know if it was just being a big guy, I just didn't know it. It was fucking brutal. I was literally, I came off stage and I was drenched. I was like Lee Evans wet. Like it was a horrible sight. And then people coming up and sort of speaking to me afterwards and you're like, I felt so conscious about BO. BO is such a fucking constant in my brain at the moment. I worry so much about BO.

Yeah. You know, the three biggest worries I have in life right at the moment, bio, constantly, bad breath all the time. These are personal worries, obviously, wider worries, world global stuff. And did you say about that? When you see what's going on in, you know, worldwide, you still are brought back to your own bio and bad breath. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is yeah, because

obviously, that's something I could try to do sound about. But the more stuff I try to do about doesn't seem to work. But um, and then did you say about this guy who was playing polo, he swallowed a B and died and died? Yeah, did you? That is literally now. Like I'm walking around. I have my mouth closed all the time. I'm so paranoid about that. Do you know what? I think that's a good thing. That's a good look for you. Closing your mouth more, I think is a positive change in your life. But usually I walk around town like that.

If it's taking a story about a guy dying from soil in a bee to make you make that change, then I you know, obviously I don't celebrate the guy's death, but I think that's a teachable moment. No, but usually, as you know, I go around town like a big golden retriever with my mouth. I know you do. I think probably if I was, you know, if we were to do a study into it, I would say you've probably eaten quite a few insects in your time. But they just haven't been B sized, you know, they know that's what I did. But I thought if you swore to be

like, it's done all the time. tongue Worst case you tonsils but they can go into your body like down into your and basically cause havoc and I fucking give you a heart Attack that guy. I mean that fucking hell. It's like that tiny little bees completely fucking killed him. Yeah Yeah, it's bad. He was a billionaire as well. So yeah, bees are bees are not fussy about who they're fucking killing now. Gloves are off for bees. It's a mad, wild conclusion. And also, by the way, we're doing so much for the bees at the moment. I'm bringing Grace up to love bees, to worship bees, you know, fucking care for the bees. Wasps, I fucking loathe wasps, I've made my feelings clear on them, I'm not getting back into it because

it would just work me up. But bees, I I'm like grace these these guys are fucking the good guys of the the stingy world. All right What's happened there so you think you said something funny which you did and I've not given you the I've not given you the response You've wanted so you've started doing your own audience laughter now. What's going on? Maybe not because your face look when I said the stinky world look quite disgusting. But my thing about Yeah, so and now I'm like, fucking this, this piece here, what are my successful people in England? Yeah, and now what if other bees are basically grabbing, like they see the papers and going, if you see

what Neil's done, he fucking took out took out a billionaire playing polo, all of a sudden, bees like, well, hold on, we can fucking kill these. It's like, this is essentially exactly the same. A Star Wars, when they drive into the Death Star. That's literally the same. B's, B's had all this shit from us. And now they go, well, hold up. I mean, it breaks my heart to think actually, we're the fucking, you know, with Darth Vader and all of this. But definitely, that could

be the thing that they're doing now they've worked it out that you killed that guy is basically Luke Skywalker yeah okay well first of all can I just say condolences to to the man and his family and you know whatever it's obviously a sad thing that somebody's died and do you want it to suddenly become a Death Star analogy probably not but thank But second thing, thank you so much for putting it in a world that you think I could understand by making it Star Wars. That's very sweet of you.

But third of all, it actually does raise an interesting point. You sort of talked about, you know, bees are the nice guys and wasps are pricks and stuff like that. I do think your life would be a lot easier if you stopped sort of assuming that things were around for us You know and I mean people as well, you know

people the things things are just doing what they do and I think we need to lower expectations of What we want them to be doing, you know, you're the bees Bees wasps exist for but wasps No, no, no. Okay, I'll tell you a comment. I think you've got a you've got a point here, a point that I would sign off for saying fucking nice one, my friend. Right. But what I will say is this wasps fine, catcrap. But when wasps start stinging randomly, they're coming into the fucking ring. And the gloves are off is what I'm saying. Okay. Now, when you start infiltrating and like getting involved in, look, as far as I'm concerned, if wasp were down the end of my garden, doing their thing, I'm in

my house, then mine, fine, we'll never even I probably know you go wasp. Oh, yeah, I think I've seen him knocking about down into the garden. Seem all right to me. Never. We might know our business. Like neighbors I've got. I don't know my neighbors could be up to anything. A little nardy, gentle hello. I never over push it now. I've learned my lesson. But the fact is, when it comes to wasps, bees flying into someone's throat and killing them, all of a sudden I'm like, fuck, of course I'm worried. Fries flying in a dog shit and then I brought a fucking chicken Caesar salad. I'm like, hello, Rob, just having some lunch. Fries comes and sits on my dinner. Dinner's ruined because he's just literally been sitting on a horse manure.

Yeah, so what my point is? They're not abiding by this. Yeah, well I don't think they have like the similar sort of rule structure that you're, I think you're imposing a level of consciousness on them that they don't have. But I mean, I'm sort of loathe to state the really fucking obvious, which is what I'm doing here. But your Anthra, you know what you're doing, with bees and wasps, do you know what I mean? It's not a Pixar movie, you know? They've got no intentions apart from just to exist. And actually, I respect that.

It's a level of mindfulness that I wish I could achieve. You know, that the only thing you're focused on is the exact moment. I mean, actually, ironically, wasps and bees have got it absolutely fucking nailed on all animals have they're just in the moment. They're not thinking about what does this mean for my future? And I wonder what the other bees think about me. And, you know, is right, I still think I've seen, I still think that. Please. Dogs, I think dogs have got that in them. And I think some cats have.

I think they live for them. I think some of them have subconscious. What was, dogs and cats live for themselves? Yeah, live for themselves, but they also have, are you telling me if you're, when I've seen other dogs look a little bit shy when like a group of dogs are playing and they don't want to go over.

Yeah, but they're not doing that because they're going down one gift they're going to think I'm going to fit in. Because they don't have iPhones and they don't have social media and they don't have all the other gubbins that we've got. They haven't got the money for a start. Fucking B's and what mate, B's and what's, you've seen B-movie, they've literally got an E, that's what their job is, making honey. We all had the same job and we didn't have social media, we'd probably be exactly the

same, we probably would live in the moment. Okay. I mean, sort of what you're describing is, I guess, a dictatorship. Sort of a mobile phone free thing where we all do exactly the same job that's been allocated to us. Is that what you're suggesting? You know what I was reading about the other day? I was reading the same thing. I carried up my Instagram. It doesn't need that clarification, but go on. The Amish people feel like they've got it worked out that clarification. But go on. The Amish people think for like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do you know much about the armor? Sure. You spent any time with them? I've

not spent any time with them. No, but I'm aware of what it you know, how they live their lives. Yeah. Very simple lives. Yeah. Very simple. Like, there was a lot of things that one came up and say, it was an Amice guy doing a workout in his garden And he just had jeans and shoes on which I'm always blows my mind But he had a sick body and a beautiful body and he was like Lifting up this big lumps of wood and hay and stuff and that was his workout. Right? It was very much of the land Yeah, that's what what and then I yeah, and then obviously the algorithm saw that I'd watched this

I had a couple more armistice. Yeah, they's what I want. And then I Yeah, and then obviously, the algorithm saw that I'd watch this. I had a couple more Amish posts. Yeah, they seem like they seem like they've got it kind of locked. Very simple life no phones. lot of chatting up at five in the morning to bed at seven at night. Okay, that that sound good. I'm just saying that for I, I sometimes I think about having an Amish holiday. And when I say sometimes I've just thought that but yeah, I see. I imagine that's the thing. Yeah, like we should try to do that. We've been lovely to go to an Amish break me and you.

Yeah, maybe something you could do with your family though. We do have other people that we could do this with that way. Yeah, but yeah, Catherine's not coming on an Armageddon holiday, and Grace would be like, what? Yeah, Lisa wouldn't come on an Armageddon holiday, actually. No. But I think there's an argument to just, you know, have you ever thought about, who was it?

I was watching this thing with Jesse Armstrong, who's giving a talk about just his writing process, the right of succession. And he was saying that, I think it may be one or two, when he goes into the office, I can't remember how many days a week he does this, but he leaves his phone at home. Yeah.

So he just, like, you know, obviously he knows how to go to work, he's not completely dependent on the phone, so he just goes to the office and there's a landline at the office if his family needs to contact him. But essentially he goes out and he says, he said that the experience of going out without your phone, for the first few minutes, you're quite, you know, you're quite worried,

like you feel so disconnected. And then it's actually lovely, you know? And actually gets a point where you're looking at people who are, I then it's actually lovely. And actually gets to a point where you're looking at people who are, I imagine it's a bit like after they, in Men In Black when you start to see aliens, like if you manage to disconnect, and I imagine there are people like this who are not phone dependent,

if you look around with that in mind, bearing in mind that you are gonna be looking up and out more because you're not just down on your phone the whole time. It must look like people are insane, right? Like if you walk around, if you walk around like central London, a lot of people are like, even as they're walking on their phones, right?

So it must just look, yeah, so just like, we could do that, Tom, we could even, you know, it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be you go the extreme way. We could just go, do you know what, Monday, in fact, you and I can make a commitment to, what are you doing on Monday, by the way, actually? Actually, I need my phone on Monday.

I don't know why I said all that. But anyway, one day this week. But I find if you're being creative, yeah, we should do it. I'm up for that. I find that if you're being creative, though, I do, I'm pretty good at now turning off my phone and not I've actually got less phone upset. I'm not as phone obsessed I have been.

I've noticed now to not to not spend as long as on Instagram, but also if I'm into something I'm enjoying writing. Yeah, I'm quite good at just putting my phone away and not not picking it up for a good few hours Yeah Also, I think when I'm what and I was really bad This is and used to make it be quite aware of it I used to quite a lot of the time I was chatting to people would be doing this. Yeah, goja. You're so bad and then I did it sort of I started to notice other people do it and I realized oh shit. that's quite rude. Actually, I feel quite how it made me feel when

people kind of makes you feel completely unimportant. So I'm just doing that. That you're there's there's a whole it's essentially going, even though you're here in my company, I'd much rather look at stuff that's fucking 1000 miles away. And it already thing else. It's like looking at porn while you're having sex, you know, you're trying to content and you're fucking socializing at that might literally be the most profound thing you've ever said that no joke aside, I never that is that is the same thing. Yeah, actually conversation Oh my good. Well, let's just leave this conversation because you've got that's what we call in the game the fucking topper

That's the kicker you fucking conversation over. I think you're I think you're giving it too much You're giving it exactly the same you're in a conversation with someone and you're talking is to you It's a very personal thing and someone's just doing this That is the same as having sex and literally the same. Mmm. What are my friends? You know what? I adore you for so many reasons There that you know too many to list but every now and again you say something like that And I actually think it is fucking cool to have a friend I aka a best friend who is one that always one of the cleverest people in the world.

That's a fucking cool thing to have. You're giving me way too much credit. No, no, no, no, it's a fucking great, yeah. You know, the only thing I feel for you a little bit is essentially that it's a good bit, that's a really good bit of that, because it is very, people in the room. Yeah, I look forward to seeing you on your next tour.

I'm glad you're, imagine if I fucking text JT and go cut that bit about that. I went to watch underdog and I was delighted to see a lot of my thoughts I'd expressed on here turned into stand up. That was a joke. The Chevrolet employee pricing event is on now. Get a big cash purchase discount of up to $11,300 on the 2025 Chevrolet Silverado LDZR2 and Silverado HDZR2. With a factory installed lift kit and Multimatic DSSV dampers on both the Silverado LD and HDZR2, you'll have all the capability you need to leave the asphalt behind. Hurry in employee pricing is on for a limited time. Visit your local Chevrolet dealer for details.

So can I just can I just report to you on my week, please? Because it's been sorry, my friend. Sorry. No, no, no, no, I wasn't saying it. That wasn't an assertive. No, no, no, no, no, no, I wasn't saying it. That wasn't an assertive. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was just, you know. I know, but also I know, I'm aware of this weekend. Yeah. And so, sort of three main things I wanna talk about, actually. Yeah.

As I say to you now, this isn't like pre-planned. But first thing is, is we found out that, and thank you for all your well wishes, but we found out that, and thank you for all your well wishes, but we found out that our appeal to place Charlie in the same secondary school as Alex, it was unsuccessful. So basically Lisa phoned up, they told us to wait a week, so we did,

and then Lisa phoned up and they just tell you it's a no, and then they'll send us a letter apparently. But I do want to like, I don't want to go on and on about it because look the truth is and this is like was expressed to me and I am fully aware of this, that Lisa and I are very privileged right, we're in a position of privilege, there's no denying that and so what I'm not saying is that I'm not demanding that that gets changed. We've accepted that decision now so what I'm not saying is that I'm not demanding that that gets changed. We've accepted that decision now. So Charlie's not going to go to that secondary school. We've talked about it with him. And thank you very much, Tom,

for your support in that. Because as you know, I was really like, I was gutted that I felt like we'd not done everything we could do for, you know, there's that thing of like wanting to feel like you've done your absolute utmost for your children. And, and, and he's been like amazing and he will be fine. He will be Does that thing of like wanting to feel like you've done your absolute utmost for your for your children and um And and he's been like amazing and he will be fine he will be absolutely fine and that and but the the the the reason he will be fine is because We are in a position of privilege and we can figure a way around it that the truth of it is is that? Over and above Lisa and myself and our children, the system is fucked. At the end

of the day, Lisa and I were obviously personally disappointed. But what I think about is, if Charlie, say the school that's been allocated is the other side of town, we have got the resources to overcome that. It's sort of not fine, but it is fine, it is fine actually. I'm just saying it is fine for us, right? We can figure it out, right? But there are people that will have been told no as a result of that appeal, and they don't know what the hell they're gonna do.

Do you know what I mean? There'll be people that have got children that are like, have got special educational needs. They've got loads of messages off the back of their last, and I know I'm getting into a bit of a serious rant now, but there's loads of people that can't get proper places for their children with special education needs and the system is fucked.

And it's just not, it's not working for whatever reason, it's not working. And now I'm separating this from least for myself. We are gonna be fine, we'll figure it out. But I'm just talking generally, what this has highlighted to me, and this is like by dint of the fact that you only really look at these things

when they affect you directly. You shouldn't do it, but that tends to happen a lot. It's not right. Do you know what I mean? It's like this system and West Sussex deciding to downgrade sibling placements is a fucking shambles and their argument was that the school is full, which is fine, but it shouldn't be. You know, like, I don't know what the solution is, but at the end of the day, there are lots of people, I've had loads and loads of messages, and I'm not exaggerating when I say hundreds of messages and comments from people who have been like, feel just completely fucked by the system. I've emailed MPs, etc, etc, and I've got in touch and the long and the

short of it is I just don't think it's right it's just not right. Do you know what I mean? It's like it's a fucked situation so it's a sort of a fuck you to West Sussex County Council. There you go I said it. Do you know what I mean? Like you need to sort it out and I know it's not just them there's other councils that for whatever reason, you know, they're not meeting the demands of worried parents and I just think it's a fucking joke. So there you go, I've said it, that's all I think about that, do you know what I mean? And I'd love to find a way and I've contacted individual people, messaged me and I've said, look, with their problems and I said I'd love to try and help them out if I can, as much

as I can do, being lucky enough to have a bit of profile. So there we go. The other thing that so that's that. The other thing is. I was saying that, right, and it is just sorry, man, but and it's like fucking it makes blood, boils my blood just on the basis and coming from, I think as well, like a place of my schooling always being a problem and you know I've talked quite a lot a lot about that and I think it's you know the school in which you go to it is a very very important thing and I think actually that the sibling thing like when my sister came to her like if she was very shy she well anyway this is it's a very important thing for kids to settle if they've got a sibling there. But on a more positive, when you did text me about Charlie, I will say that it is like you said how well he'd settled and that he was basically fine. You should

take pride in that man, that all of this stuff going on. I know how stressful it's been for you and Lisa going through it. But just how stoic and how you've got to find pride in that, that he's gone along and he must know in a sense that how you and Lisa feel because you're open with your kids, you talk to your kids but it's credit to you both and it's credit to him that he's gone along and it's like, I'm going to be alright, I'm going to be fine and he's going to crack on. No, he's been wicked. And then the other thing that happened this week is that um, actually There's it. There's an amazing moment. We're like

so Theo got he did his last GCSE and Then he immediately went and got because he's no longer subject to the school Regulations with regards to hair and stuff like that went and got blonde highlights put in his hair Luminium all star right and Alex was going to him, I can't wait to see how shit your hair looks. It's gonna look shit. Such a terrible idea.

Like really rinsing him about it. And then like when he left for school, he said, I can't wait to come back and see how shit your hair looks. And then Theo went and got his hair done. And like Theo was laughing about it. They were giving each other banter. And then Alex came home and saw the hair.

And then I said to Alex, are you gonna give me any shit about his hair? And he said, do you know what? He goes, I was going to, but I've got to hold my hands up. It looks really good. I could not believe it. I could not believe that he backed from his position, just decided to step out of his position.

How much does Alex now want it done? Well, he can't. He can't have it done because he's not allowed. But I don't know. Alex is not really into that sort of thing as much as Theo is. And then on Friday, we had Theo's prom. Oh wow, you had the party.

We had the like little get together with the parents come around. This is the juice. Pouring it on. This is the gravy. We went to Tesco's during the day. Nice. Got a load of shopping done, got a load of food for them, because basically this is the

plan is that all of his mates come round beforehand and they have some food and drink. The parents come, who I've not met, many of them, they come round as well. We have some photos in the garden and then we all go off to the prom and then Theo was bringing some of his mates back afterwards. Sorry sir you went to the problem as well? No, no, no, I dropped Theo off. I didn't go to I think I didn't even get out of the car He made it very clear that I was not to leave the vehicle So dropped him off for then and then at midnight At least I'm gonna pick up the kids are gonna go pick up Theo and then some of the kids are going to come back.

Can you put all the pizzas and stuff and all the food and all the things in the oven that we've bought today specifically for them to have a feed up after the prom? And I said, yeah, of course I can. You know, at the very least this is what I can step up and do. And then I proceeded to burn every single piece of food that we'd done. Oh my God. How do you burn pizza? I put it in and then I start, I left it in there too long, well done Tom. I didn't know you were a chef. No no no no no no no no no before this fucking you try

be slippery and cool you could have turned the foot, I've burnt pizza and no people have burnt pizza in their early teens. No you you're right. You put it up too high. I turned the oven too hot. Do you know what? Forgive me. You've got the instructions. You're flippin'. I prostrate myself at your feet humbly. That is true.

That would have been a possibility. Bend. Bend, boy. Bend. I proffer my apologies for the rude way in which I attacked you in a facetious manner, my lord. I step back for it. Yes, you're right, the oven can be turned up too high

and many a time have I myself been guilty. Also, can I just say the other one, made this one probably when I was at 13 and I was making pizzas myself, people put on the grill sometimes instead of the oven. Yeah, really foolish. Anyway, the truth is, is I put the pizzas in too early and then I forgot about them because what in my head,

what had happened was, as I thought, I'll put this food in and then they'll come back and I can take it out of the oven like going, hey, here's a pizza and then leave them to do what they do. Anyway, when Lisa came back, she said, what's happened here? She pulled that four, like sort of four crispy discs of charcoal and then she looked at me.

I can't tell you what I saw in her eyes, man. I, it was just what discussed it was, it was a discussed, but it wasn't even. Anger. It was just like, this is what I'm with. It wasn't even, it wasn't even how do we change this? Or how do we improve this. This is what I've got. This is my lot in life is to be shackled to this man who would be doing all the poornesses.

Did you have any sort of fallbacks? Well, fortunately, we bought enough food to back it up. Oh, good. Lisa buying more pizzas just knowing that. I got my car keys. I was ready to go out. So I'll be in charge of putting the pictures in the oven at least it just thrown another six into the trolley Yeah, okay. Yeah, we got the middle man and put them straight in the fucking bin you stupid bastard

Anyway, so I burnt the food then a Yes, Lisa, I will, girl. Anyway, so I burnt the food. Then a load of people came around, I was slightly paranoid. So Theo wanted us gone very quickly, so we went upstairs. Oh, I was hoping that you were gonna say that you DJed. No, I went upstairs. And then that party went until about three o'clock in the morning.

Wow. I had my radio show the next day and my intention was to like welcome the women some pizza which obviously that went wrong because I burned it. And then just go upstairs and go straight to sleep to be fresh for the radio show. I could not sleep. First of all, I don't know how to explain it.

The paranoia of hearing some voices that you don't really know downstairs in your house into the early hours of the morning. And then you've got this constant fear that like is this gonna get out of control? Are people gonna turn up that we don't know? They sort of went into the garden for a little bit as a little bit paranoia. But Theo had been told that everyone's got to be out apart from people that were staying around at three o'clock in the morning and sure enough that guy, absolute legend that he is, at three o'clock in the morning and sure enough that guy, absolute legend that he is at three o'clock, gathered them all together,

asked them to be quiet because we were going to be asleep, which we weren't, but he wasn't to know that. And, um, and got them out. I haven't whispered hush conversations in this time. You both just, can I tell you something incredibly embarrassing? So Lisa was like, I'm just going to stay up, but you try and get some sleep and then at one point That is by the way, she's a queen. I Say, huh, mate, you're the fucking lucky guy. I know but anyway as it was we didn't we were sort of up So commentating what was going on and sort of trying to figure out

Anyway, eventually said I'm gonna like why don't you just get yourself to sleep now because it's getting you're gonna You've got to be up there. I get up at 6.30 when I've got the radio show on Saturday. At one point I said something like, I'm really worried about the, I can't remember exactly what I said, but I must have expressed concern that I was going to be all right for the radio show. Do you know what the words that Lisa said to me at one point, and she said it in a sweet way, but it really is an insight into how pathetic a human being I really am.

She said to me, god, this is so embarrassing. She said to me, try not to get yourself too worked up. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Oh! I don't know how I'm gonna do the radio show at my release. Try not to get yourself too worked up, Dave. Well, I've got to deliver energy for people Saturday mornings from 10 till 1.

It's not even me, Lisa. It's Sally from the road. Sally with the news, I feel, for she's going to have to do 60% of the stuff. It was, yeah. I lived in a party house for three years. Looks like if I don't know if you noticed the voice change. I lived in a I was in a party house for a while. Pre Catherine, it was it wasn't a cool thing. It was a very bleak fucking existence. If I was a lot of but it was one of those places. And I will say that I was not the, yeah, the person I lived with

at the time was the party animal who'd bring people, random people back quite a lot. And I'd sort of lay in bed very much like you and Lisa, sort of lying there quite a lot of time. People come in my room to use my own suite and I'd sort of go, you know, I mean, at one point, I remember a couple coming in my room and they were sort of making out into your room. They came into my room and I kiss it. I've been very amorous. And I sort of lay there for about probably about a minute. And they were sort of kissing and sort of it was getting a bit more heated and then just had to go. And then

this broke with cyber I didn't know anyone was there. I was like, yeah, no, then just had to go and then just broke with it. Sorry, brother, didn't know anyone was there. I was like, yeah, no, no, it's just, they're not even aggressive. That's just after trying to say, I've got big audition tomorrow. He went, someone said they've got an en suite. It's all right if you go in there. I was like, ah, don't know if I really want you having sex in the en suite. So no, if you're out to leave it, you went, is there anyone else anywhere?

I was like, yeah, you go in my flatmate's fucking Is there anyone else anywhere? I was like, you could get me go my flatmates fucking room. And he went, I was like other people in there. I was like, this is Yeah, that was the but what I'd say is, and this is Theo and his friends. And they say I was a good boy. Yeah, it was a fucking I used to find the lack of sleep. I had my first I remember my first game or going friends audition and the first one I found out the 10 that I went up for and lying in bed just listen listening to

comfort hush conversations. constantly worried that because there's been a couple of times where some people come to the house and I woke up this morning the TV and quite a lot of gone like fucking people being invited in and stuff had just been stolen. So you know they're just thinking... Are you serious? Yeah man, it's fucking a mad time to be a... A human.

Yeah. And then also there was one time a guy turned up and he was some sort of lunatic and he had a knife and I was lying in bed just sort of thinking, I could hear him sort of getting quite threatening and thinking, do I call the police or do I go out?

Yeah, it was a horrible, yeah. But my point being that hushed voices and people talking and you not knowing what's going on, all you can hear is whisper or what feels, they're not even whispering probably, but it is whispered. And not being able to ascertain what the situation, what is going, especially when it's your boy as well and then they're in your house.

And like you say, because also, someone was telling me the other day about a party up the road from us where a kid was allowed, he, but his mom and dad, he was 17, his parents went away, and he basically had a week long party, and he just had people coming in and out of his fucking basically had a week long party. And he just had people coming in and out of his fucking house for a week. And it's yeah, it just he and he rinsed the house. So you don't

know if there's other kids from the prom we've heard that Theo Reagan, Nathan's get having a fucking house party now. Like, I'll make this I know where he lives and they turn up. You say that, that happened. I mean, they didn't turn up. Well actually Tom, you say that, that happened. I mean they didn't turn up but Lisa got a message, I think I might, maybe I'll say this, but Lisa got a message from a friend of hers who's a parent of some kids at another school and the rumors of us having to get like a thing afterwards had spread to that school and people were talking about that they were going to rock up. I said to Theo, how has this happened? And he goes, I don't know. So then we were, that's the other thing. You're sort of slightly

on high alert for that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And also he could be like, maybe it was the fact you talked about on the podcast, you fucking idiot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah. When you gave the full address and sort of said the timings and what the date of the prom was maybe that that was what it was Do you think dad? Call it the kids from that other school listen to the podcast by the way dad There's no such thing as pizza done Cajun style you fucking moron. You know, I When they all turned up at midnight first of all, I burnt the obviously I burnt the foods that's what were you wearing by the way

What are you in? Well, I was in lights, you know, sort of all, obviously I'd burnt the food. What were you wearing by the way? What were you in? Well, I was in like, ready for bed attire, lounge wear is what I would describe it as. But you do become fully aware of how embarrassing you are. Do you know what I mean? I was very much like, I just felt so awkward everything I was saying, I thought that was a dumb thing to say, everything I was like.

The third thing I want to talk about is, I always think of myself as somebody that doesn't really experience stress, but this is one thing that I've sort of, you know, bearing in mind I'm 47, so this is quite late on to actually for this to occur to me. But doing the European tour, coming back and doing the appeal, then Charlie not getting in, and then having to, you know, sorting out Theo's prom thing and all of those kind of things, as well as our other work bits, I've been trying to do like new material

at gigs and stuff. Sometimes you think you're on top of it, but then you're not. Or it's overwhelming in a way. So Tom, you've been like, you know, I don't want to get too down because we're having a really nice time here just shooting the breeze on the wall for now as we do each and every week apart from the ones we miss.

Yeah, the breeze, you feel it across your body, baby. But I did genuinely start to, I went kind of a bit dark. You know, I suddenly started to get flaky and really kind of, I really started to get flaky and really kind of, I really started to struggle a little bit mentally. And I was surprised by it because I was thinking, there's not really been a trigger here. And then I think it was you that said to me,

you've got to think about what's been going on this week. And then I suddenly realized that sometimes you think you're on top of it, and then... But you're not. Do you know what I mean? And so, like, thank you for your support. But, like, it's just amazing, isn't it, how I think just recently when I did Desert Island Diss, I talked about how I've been in the best place mentally that I've ever been, and I still do think that.

But it can catch you by surprise, can't it? Just suddenly you think you're on an even kill, and then all of a sudden you start to go, can catch you by surprise, can't it? Just suddenly you think you're on an even kill and then all of a sudden you start to go, why am I having, why is the word fraud? I feel like it's tattooed on the inside of my eyelids. Why is every single thing I'm doing, I'm walking out going, that was fucking shit,

I bet they all hate me in that room. Why is that starting to happen? Do you know what I mean? Like that, there's no reason for that to happen, but obviously there is, do you know what I mean? It's like, it's just being aware of that is so key, isn't it? Yeah, but also is that thing of like, is it now shall pass that, that is the thing of like, if you're feeling-

Well, what you've done there is, is you've, if you don't mind me saying, if I could just put some analysis of what just happened, you've conflated a Tom Hanks quote with a quote from Gandalf from Lord of the Rings because what Tom Hanks said was whenever you're having bad times you're having good times what you've got to think is this will pass and Gandalf in Lord of the Rings obviously famously said thou shall not pass and what you've done is you've sort of Frankenstein them too. If I'm going to be really honest with you, if you're going to Frankenstein two people together, Tom Hanks and Gandalf. Oh listen, I couldn't agree more.

It's a good way to go. But when you're in a real, I mean I don't know about you, whenever I'm really in a good place I'm constantly just thinking. When is this going to end? This will be over soon. This will pass. And I'm going to feel like shit again. And if I'm in a bad place I'm thinking, oh maybe this, I never think, well this will

pass, I'll just be there like this for the rest of my life. But I think, I mean, I think that I was very conscious, but I think we're close enough for me to get a gauge of you as a, and how you are. And I could feel you in a certain more, yeah. I'm gonna say this to you now, and this is a big compliment to you as a friend and who you are as a human being

that you knew before I did that that is your industry that is your industry i've spoken to you and i yeah and you were texting me going are you okay you okay i was going yeah man i'm good why and you were just going i'm just i'm just checking in man it's like you're going for a lot and da da da and i just thought oh yeah that's really sweet of tom but what's he talking about and then i realized that actually you'd spotted something that I hadn't so yeah, but then it seems to spot another Yeah, I just yeah, but I did feel that you were Anyhow, man, I'm I said I say it's it's always ups and downs as fucking this life in which we lead And it's like you say it's like and we're very blessed and there's other people out there who aren't as lucky as we are.

But I feel very lucky to have you in my life and you're a rock, my friend. Yeah, thank you. I'm glad that you're feeling a bit better now, my G. You've been remarkable. Your business doesn't move in a straight line. Make sure your team is taken care of through every twist and turn with Canada Life savings, retirement and benefits plans.

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I've missed this. These are quite short ones, so we can kind of quick fire these actually. So these are less, slightly less discursive., oh hello, than the ones we've done before, right? Okay. But, this is a very simple one. You're walking along the street, maybe near your office. I'm embellishing this just to give it a bit of drama, because I know you like to sort

of visualise stuff. So let's imagine you leave your office to go to get one of your sandwiches from, what's it called? Roth, yeah, and Paul Roth and Son. By the way, who are on holiday at the moment? They're having a terrific time. As you walk past, I'd say maybe 100 yards from the sandwich shop. You find 100 pounds just sort of outside a shop on the floor. What, we're talking like cut of 50s or? It's a 50, two 20s and a 10, all right? Okay, okay.

What do you do? Do you try and find the owner? It's right. Number one, can I just say I've been in this situation. So trying to find the owner is if you go if you if you turn around in the middle of London go I was anyone sorry if you just dropped 100 pounds. So we'll go Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah. Like you don't know it is you don't know it's true. It could be Yeah, it's number one if you

walk him out of 100 pounds in your pocket, and also 250 50s, if it's 250s, I'm like, this person's a big baller. If it's 220 to 10 and a 50 I'm like, this person's sparing that 100 pounds, I start feeling bad. Okay, I'm like the chances of me finding this person. That's the sadness of it. It's the sadness of it. Because if you gave that 100 pounds to someone else, and it's not that 100 pounds, you'd feel and then someone that you see someone fretting around and go fucking off to 100 quid, I need

that's by my kid's birthday present you go, ah, um, yeah, I probably lurk about there for a bit. I probably sort of like incognito just probably buy my sandwich and just sort of like there's a little step outside the shop. Yeah, probably just sort of sit there for a bit just eat my sandwich just looking if someone comes panicked looking round looking like a fucking old life. And I come running over go Excuse me, did you drop some money and they go you fucking know and I go, there we go. And there's another 20 on top. Get

yourself a sandwich. You deserve it. I don't. Okay, that's first, but I don't believe. I'm not even entirely sure we'd wait around, but now you're stretching it. I wouldn't wait around, no, I wouldn't. That is something I'd definitely do. Let's see. But I wouldn't turn around and go,

oh, excuse me if you drop something. Yeah, okay. Because I think you'd see the look. Yeah, so let's imagine that nobody turns up, right? Yeah. What do you do then? Probably give it to charity. OK.

All right. It's very sweet. Very sweet. Good. I like it. Good. I'd probably do similar, except for the waiting around and looking around a bit.

OK, here's the next one. OK. The talented but awful person dilemma. Well, OK. Or as I would call it, our lives. So someone you know, is really the other way around, though. Nice people, but not very talented. Yeah, I think. No, I go along with that. Actually, except for the nice bit. I

think we know we might just be shit okay someone you know is incredibly talented at something e.g. musician and artist or I don't know a comedian but he's also a genuinely terrible person yeah do you support their work and work with them and help them out and get involved knowing it benefits them no Knowing it benefits them. Yeah, and you. You know what, I'm gonna be quite honest. No, I think I've had the chance to work

or be around people who are phenomenally talented and are incredible at what they do, but I've had meetings, and I think my gut is that if someone's awful and not very nice, but fucking incredible, and you could go, well, I could be a, basically essentially hot, like hang on to their coat tails, it might, you know, my career might go a little bit further. I think that number one, I think it's a very, I think everything that you do in this industry, like in life, but I can only talk first hand, I think has to

feel right. I think the people which you surround yourself with the jobs in which is whatever. But I think that actually, I have been in situations where I've been offered work or been offered a chance to do something and the person that I'd be working with isn't particularly nice or I don't agree with some of their stances and I would nearly every time say that I'm not going to do that thing. Yeah. Uh even if it and it's but that's happened at least twice in the last year to my

detriment probably like it's career wise. You know but I think, I think you kind of have to make a little bit of a stand when it comes to what your own integrity means and what you believe in. And that, you know, I don't know how much you'd like to say about it, but I know about this situation, one of those situations, and all I would say is if you're wondering what the specifics are, that is why Tom Davis is not Superman. So... Where's why me and Josh Whitacombe haven't done that podcast together? Oh my god! I'm only joking. Josh Whitacombe is one of the most clean, most lovely people on this planet.

Yeah, he's great. And I agree with all of his far right. Yeah, listen, look far right Those his beliefs In a different area What are you by the way, what about you just quickly what about you when you sit on that Obviously, I mean yours is gonna be Sally from the news She does the travel you gotta stop saying the news She's gonna be she Sally from the news. She does the travel. You've got to stop saying the news. She's giving me a few.

But she's very newsworthy. Yeah, she is. I actually have had, I've been offered stuff where one or more of the people has got, does something that I don't agree with, and so I said no. But that happens a fair bit. But what I would say is before it looks like I'm presenting myself as worthy,

those things haven't been things that I've been dying to do necessarily, do you know what I mean? But I would say in the balance of things, when you think about whether you would do this, sometimes there have been things that I haven't been sure about, but I've done it because I think that there are really nice people involved.

For example, the only reason I did Taskmaster is because I really that there are really nice people involved. For example, the only reason I did Taskmaster is because I really like Alex Horne. Alex Horne is a king. I just think that bloke is such a nice bloke. I didn't really know what it was going to be or anything. It sounded like such a mad concept for a show. I had a chat with him and I was like, yeah, yeah okay I'll do it because I just think he's obviously don't get me wrong I'm getting paid in this TV series. I will say that I'm the evidently the only comedian in England who hasn't been asked to do Taskmaster.

Well a lot of people we do regularly get emails from people saying that you should do it and you'd be brilliant on it so should we put joint do you want to do it? I guess I heard that you should never ask to be on taskmaster because if you don't get into it Okay, but but it feels like too late now. It feels like something I'm never gonna be asked to do I think I adore the show. He's one of the best shows TV. I think I Think my fuck my chances now. I'll be very quietly in the background. Just hoping I get asked and it's never come to my yeah Yeah, so I don't know if it's over now. Is it they still doing more? Yeah They do the mate. It's the license to print money. I think they don't like them

I mean what they on series 107 now something this like It's literally I don't I don't know any other comedians that haven't been asked How will you how will you how will you feel about it when they start when they actually start getting members of the public on? We're not far away from that. I'm still not, yeah, I mean, it's gonna be devastating, right? I'd have to retire from comedy to go back to scaffold to hopefully then get onto Daz Master. Yeah, it's a long game, but well done for playing it

the way you think. Maybe that is their long game. It's so I'm not in the fucking business anymore. They find my stick so tripe. Yeah, the whole thing is, it's a really long game by Alex Horne. You've done something at a gig or something to piss him off. And he's thinking, what I'm going to do is that. I don't think we've even pissed him off.

I think he just thinks my stuff's so unworthy and so hack that he's gone. We need to get this guy out of fucking company. What we need to do is we need to book a series and hopefully it'll become like an international phenomenon. And then what we'll do is we'll book every single comedian apart from him to the point where initially he's thinking, God, it's a bit weird that I've not been asked.

Then as it goes on and on, he's going, hold on a minute. They're asking every, like every- But whenever I see him, whenever I see him, I'll be really nice. Yeah. And let me say that two of the nicest guys in comedy, Greg Davies and Alex Horne. And every time I see him, I'll say to him, look, we've put your names in the hat. No, no, no, no, no, that's never happened. Oh, OK, fine.

Right, we're almost at the end, but I would like to do one email. And just to get you in the right mindset, this is from a 16-year-old. OK, so, but this 16 year old needs some advice. And so I wasn't, we weren't gonna do emails, but this one is, it's tugged on my heartstrings. So here it is. Dear Rom and Tom, love the podcast, it is sexy. First of all, can I just say how nice it is to have a,

you know, to know that we're, that the youth are listening to the Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was unless it's the youth who are gonna storm your house. Oh Absolutely. I mean he is he is of age isn't he of the anyway, please. Can you keep me anonymous? I'm 16 and believe it's stupid to be considering anything like true love at my young age However, I do think I've developed feelings for a girl in my year. This girl and I have been good friends for about three years. We make each other laugh, get along very well and are always there for each other. But here comes my dilemma. These feelings

for her are recent and I know for a fact she doesn't feel the same way about me. She has said to my mates that she likes me a lot but doesn't see a relationship between me and her. She still doesn't know I like her. I feel that I won't be able to continue with our friendship because I'm finding the more I am with her, the more my feelings for her strengthen and the friendzone situation I find myself in becomes worse. Do I keep being a good friend to her, all the while sinking deeper into the friendzone, holding onto the hope that one day she might somehow feel the same way about me? Or do I begin the hard process of gradually decreasing the closest of our good friendship. So I don't

have the chance to develop any more feelings for her. Any advice would be wholly appreciated and sorry for the long email my Kings. Big up both of you. You are studs. Anonymous. So there you go. There's the festival. Thank you anonymous for the for the email and thank you for listening to the podcast. Tom, would you like to to start off with a little bit of advice for our guy? My liege, I will. And to this young prince, thank you for your beautiful email. And I don't know if

I speak for him as well, but I would say that your predicament is one that I found myself in pretty much most of my time. I don't even know if I'm married and I'm in this situation. But what I'd say is number one, I would say now actually quite openly, one of my biggest regrets in life was turning over, like when I was probably more your age, I was more akin to being friends and in that friend zone. And I think I used to get quite upset of being like, you know, as people's friend or girls I'd like, and it would happen more and more regularly, I'd grow feelings for someone. And it was quite evident then that I'd just be sort of that they didn't see me that way. Firstly, I'd say that that's,

yeah, that is just how they feel. That's, that's, that's, that's not on them that you know, how, you know, each different person is gonna grow different feelings in different ways. But I think I then became, I sort of started drawing myself away from people in the way that, and lost actually some really, really lovely friendships because I was,

I'd sort of, I just feel quite sad and quite broken. But once you've really got feelings for someone, you really, really like someone, and they start seeing someone else, and all of a sudden they've got a boyfriend. Naturally that friendship starts falling away a bit. But you feel, if you really, really care for someone. I'd say though that some of my best friendships now are some people that I look now and some, for example, this week I did a gig and someone who came to the gig was someone who was a friend from way back and I sort of had feelings for them or whatever, you know, you maybe fancied them and I never

said anything, they never said anything, but my point being is like, I knew that they weren't into me and I was into them and whatever, but I never ever made that clear and never sort of faced that awkwardness. But actually, the laughs and the chats that we have, you have with those people now, and when you're talking to people, is that actually those happy memories of the friendship. So I suppose in a really elongated way, what I'm trying to say is I think at this young age, I think putting something on someone and if you've got the gist that they're not as into you, it's number one, don't be a dick about it and don't make them feel bad because if they're not feeling that way, they're not feeling that way and that's not a harshness

upon you. That's not them doing anything. They clearly like you. They clearly as a friend value that way. And that's, that's not a harshness upon you. That's not them doing anything. They clearly like you, they clearly as a friend, value that friendship. So don't, don't push that agenda further because that is just, that's not, that's not a cool way of being. And don't disengage too much because as well that doesn't, at the age you are, any friendship where you actually are talking and you have the support network around you, that should be really really valued

And yeah, you have but also even now I look at stuff and I think you know, I'm very very fortunate I've got an amazing wife and I've got an amazing friendship It's been taking me a long time to get to that point where I know what a friend and I know what a wife and I know What what what people should be like to each other and if you found someone at 16? Who is that support network who does care about you, I'd say just let that be what it is. And if things are meant to be, they're meant to be. You know, to not throw another gnarly quote at you,

but what is meant to be shall not pass. If it's, yeah, it could be 10, 15 years in the future, it could be six to 10 months, 12 months in the future, where she actually goes, oh, actually this person 10, 15 years in the future. It could be six to 10 months, 12 months in the future where she actually goes, oh, actually this person is, he is that. But for the moment, that isn't how things, the cards are laid out. So deal the hand you've got, be a good person,

be a decent guy. Let this be the first step in many steps of the journey in life that you're going on, where you take the higher path and you just be the decent human being that you sound like you are, and be a good guy, because there's not a lot of those around. Anonymous, thank you so much for your email.

It's very difficult for me to add onto that. I do agree with pretty much everything Tom said there. First of all, thank you for sending in an email. It wouldn't have been easy. And I know from being your age a long time ago God I sound such an old man but you know how that feels. Just to reiterate you know the first thing I think is what's very easy to do is to feel that if you have these feelings for this person that they're doing something

wrong by not having those feelings and now you've not suggested that but just to reiterate what Tom said, she is entitled to feel how she feels and if she doesn't feel like she wants to take it any further, don't allow that to eat you up inside. That is just what the situation is, right? And so there is no, she doesn't have to reciprocate those feelings.

There's, she's got no duty to do that. She feels how she feels. So do try and remember that because when you're being essentially what feels like rejected, it's very easy to get a bit worries me about it and then maybe get a bit resentful. My strong advice to you would be to do not allow that to happen.

You are in an amazing position, whether you realize it or not, that you've got a really great friend and you've got somebody that you really care about that's close to you in your life. If she doesn't feel the same way and it's possible she does, she might be saying to your friends that she only sees as a friend because she's trying to insulate herself from rejection herself. So it's possible you can have that conversation. If you do decide to have that conversation, and if she doesn't feel the same way and that hurts, please, please do not make her feel bad for that.

That is just how she feels. And there is, you know, being honest about that is a beautiful thing. You don't need to extract yourself from the friendship. And in fact, you know, I would strongly advise you to try and find a way that you don't. You've got from the friendship and in fact, I would strongly advise you to try and find a way that you don't. You've got a really, really good friend there. It's a beautiful thing and having somebody, as Tom said, that is a really good friend

is one of the most wonderful things you can have. Tom and I are in a situation where our relationships are, when you've been together with your partner as long as Tom and I have, with partners you know relationships change over time and you know the truth is is Lisa is my best friend you know like I we are best mates you know and and that is that is a great thing and so to be to have a really good friend that you have is not something to throw away. So what I would say to you is if you want to if you feel comfortable to have the conversation then have the conversation or you can just wait and see if things progress naturally which would be a safer thing when I say safer I mean safer for you emotionally to see and then and then the other

thing is if you do have that conversation and she doesn't feel the same way, do not extract yourself from the friendship if you can at all help it. You might find it's too painful to keep, but really, you're blessed, man. You're blessed with a really good friend. Try not to throw that away if you can. I hope that advice helps. I've sort of given you a slightly worse version of what Tom said, but good luck and thank you for having the courage to email in, man. And thank you for listening to the podcast. It genuinely, genuinely means a lot. So good luck and thank you for having the courage to email in man. It's a, and thank you for listening to the podcast.

It genuinely genuinely means a lot. So good luck to you. Okay. Tom, please. Could you do us the honor of taking us out? Yo, you did not get your home runs without swinging hard. And sometimes you swing hard, you get a miss. That's life. See, you can't just bunt your whole way through life,

blagging it. Sometimes you're going to get a few big strikeouts. And that, my friend, is the tax you pay for knocking out the park. What does this all mean? Well, in life, it's easy to make the steps through it and think, only the victories are the things that I shall remember. But alas, no, friend, the failures, the nearly there's, the half chances, the, oh, wow, that was serendipity there are the moments that sometimes we should look back and examine yes they don't have the

flares neither glory but there's something instilled within you a humble glory a humble truth to failure don't let failure pass you by. No, let it sit upon your shoulders. And every time you have a victory, don't show off too much. No, the failure is always around the corner. Friends, be true. Be you be good. Go do. Really good. I love it. I loved it. Really really great. And can I say by the way, you're about to do your music of the week. I will say this and you text me. Have you got a suggestion?

No no no I haven't. I just wanted to say thank you. God honest thank you. Window Kid. Yeah. You brought him into my life. Oh great, I'm glad. I was really happy about that. No no no no but you mentioned him the other week and we are literally that has been my That has been the soundtrack to my life since and actually that in itself just listen to that

He's fucking amazing and it's brought a lot of happiness into my life So, you know what? I am a big fan without extending this podcast any further than we already have done I'm a big fan of introducing music to people man. I love it. It's not one of my favorite beautiful thing You do I said on the way. Yes me. Yeah on the people man. I love it. It's like one of my favorite things. It's a beautiful thing you do. I said on the way home, I went and did, I went and made an appearance at Andy Murray's live show last night. And on the way home, I was just listening to a song and I sent it to Lisa. I said, I think this is like, it was a bit soppy, but I just said, oh, this is a great tune. And she's like, I've not heard this. And she like sort of fell in love with that song. And I was like, we went home and I just was like, this is a great show and she's like I've not heard this and she like sort of fell in love With that song and I thought we went home and I just was like it's so nice

I was about to say we weren't having made love that didn't happen We talked about how hot it was and how we shouldn't touch each other during the night But but it was a really nice moment anyway There is a song that you know when it's sunny and you're bopping about and certain songs that make you feel like an absolute don This song came on my rotation and it did make me feel like an absolute don is what you know by TR JT please could you drop that tune and we will see you next time on the good shit wolf for now thank you so much for listening take care of yourselves and yeah shut up quite Joe Alright, bye bye, take care, please email us at wolfalpod.gmail.com.

That's wolfalpod.gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you. How do you know if you're worrying too much? How can you mend a broken heart? Does peeking at school ruin you for life? I'm Susie Ruffall, a stand-up comedian and someone who has always experienced anxiety. And I've written a book, Am I Having Fun Now? Considering some of life's big questions. Featuring bonus insights from the likes of Charlene Douglas, Sarah Pascoe, Elizabeth

Day and Dolly Auderton. Am I Having Fun Now? is out now in hardback, ebook and audio.