Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 41: Auditions & Am I The A**hole
Episode Date: October 15, 2025We’re talking… microphone checks, Rom’s weary laptop, Eon Musk, Tom as a James Bond villain, manifesting for movie auditions, the path to true enlightenment, two great nights at the Hackney Empi...res and the wonderful Aisling Bea joining us for our show in Dublin. Plus, we play a few rounds of ‘Am I The Asshole?’, do some more planning for our stay in a haunted house, and answer emails about the Six Seven meme and advice on turning 50. For questions or comments, please email us at wolfowlpod@gmail.com - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: HELLO@KEEPITLIGHTMEDIA.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Tia Rosa, Tia Rosa.
Yo, yeah, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred? They'll grant you all like.
requests to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts get severed and sirk.
Bring your weak shit, wear the wolf, an owler.
That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler.
Both of them are known to pull up at your shows.
Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows.
Fuck the censorship, let them see the whole thing.
They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing.
Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing.
All your hear's a huffer puff and a...
Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping.
Impressive in it.
The death bringing his head spinning.
Just kidding, every word in his song's about two grown men
Dressed up as a bird and a dog.
Hello and welcome to the world friends.
We're trying to podcast you.
Keep the energy out.
Oh, hold up, wait there.
Input's got to be on the Yeti, isn't it?
Oh, fuck me.
I've just done a fucking R&B song, you prick.
No, no, we can keep going, but yeah, I'm just, I'll change it in that.
Input microphone, output, headphones, it's like I tell you every week for years.
And every week you log in and you don't know, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with your ears.
This might be the last.
Just remember inputs microphone.
I remember outputs head.
phones why must i tell you every week sometimes i wonder why i bother to speak because i'm dumb
because i'm dumb and i'm young and i'm full of aspiration you're dumb you're old and there's no
come left um anyway lovely to be here on the wolf for now once again run tell you
How the hell are you, Tom?
Heck of rude.
You know what?
In my head, this could be maybe one of the last podcast that this laptop does.
I'm very emotional what I'm saying it.
The laptop is on its way out.
Well, I've got exciting news, actually, speaking of which.
I'm going to show you this now, not that this is a promotional item.
Oh, nice.
A new laptop and hasn't been bothered to set it up yet.
Correct.
do you feel emotional about like
I know it's only a like
it's only a sort of like
inanimate objects essentially
to Mac but do you think like
you know you've done some
writing on there that's probably mean something to you
you've had moments on that Mac
when you say is it like if you say compared to your car
or are you just going to throw it
yeah throw it aimlessly to the side or give it to Theo
that's probably that's all this
muck you've got on us
I've not got any muck
there's no muck on it
you can search it top to bottom if you like
that's what I said to the police
but no there is
I'm going to give it to one of the kids
so then they're kind of discussing which one wants it
but no I don't feel any emotional attachment at all
I mean no I wrote I've written a lot of stuff on here
I wrote hustle was written on here
not that I really used a laptop but I had to
transcribe it for various reasons
and then what a boring thing to say
I had to transcribe it for various reasons
I'm surprised you didn't pull me up on that
No, no, I thought you, I knew you were embarrassed in yourself.
Yeah, I thought I needed to reinforce that anymore.
I think sometimes if the person you were talking to,
you can see in their eyes that they're chastising themselves for talking shit.
You don't have to think.
You shouldn't double down on it.
Yeah, avoidance is written on here, romantic getaway written on here.
Some good times on that.
Yeah, supercharged with mediocrity, actually.
I think they said that's one of the problems.
That's why the battery life is coming down.
It's sometimes when enough shit gets typed in,
the actual laptop starts to lose the will
to continue giving you charge
and sometimes
when the apps are failing
it's basically it's a laptop going
do you really want to open final draft again
and share that another one of your loads of bollocks
just weasily just going
come on man seriously
just give it up man
listen do you know what I'd love you to be opening up
a teaching app that's something you should be thinking about
Maybe moving back into.
Just steam in the right hand side of the menu bar at the bottom just pinging up.
Play a game.
Play a game.
Yeah.
Do something.
How about this?
I'm going to bring up YouTube.
Maybe watch some comedies that are worthy of respect.
And hopefully that'll give you a bit of inspiration.
Huh?
Come on, mate.
It's probably been talking to the other lap.
I'm just going, you've got no idea, mate.
I know you're excited about what's going to be created.
It'll only be him sort of just setting up Zooms to talk to his stupid mate.
And then he's going to click on his...
It's the only interesting bit is the emails that other people send.
He's going to open up final draft.
He's going to crack his knuckles like he's about to do something amazing.
You'll be all exciting.
It'll be the same old one-dimensional root one-stick he always types him.
The new laptop on the shelf just going,
oh, this is interesting.
Yeah, comedy writer.
Yeah, this is not what I was expected to get said into
when those little kids put me together.
Anyway, Tom, it's difficult to ask you how you are
because it's not difficult to ask you how you.
It's very, very easy, actually.
But I know how you are because we've seen more of each other
in the last week than we have in eons.
Yeah, yes.
I love the word eons.
Yeah, I literally flipped into my...
brain there as I was finishing the centre.
Beautiful descriptive noun of
a word of years or ages.
Yeah. Nouns aren't descriptive.
It's a teachable moment here.
You're thinking of adjectives.
Very much and keeping in with the podcast.
Yeah. Eons is beautiful.
Also, isn't it a name Eon?
Eon?
Yeah.
I swear of it's so sad.
Have you spent this whole time thinking his name's Eon Musk?
No, no, no, obviously you hit that guy, but yeah.
I swear there's Eon's a name.
Eon.
There's like an Eon Quinn or an Eon McDermott out there somewhere.
I think you might be thinking of Ewan.
I'm just going to look this up because I've chastised you in the past.
In fact, actually, speaking of it, somebody had a go at me about how much I have a go at you.
An Eon, oh no.
It refers to the James Bond Production Company, Eon Productions.
or a large European energy company, Eon.
So is that what you mean?
So it's not as any on the bus way.
Are you good friends with the energy company
or the James Bond production company?
Or a James Bond production company
can give me a shout if they need the new jaws, that's for sure.
I think you'd be an unbelievable
James Bond villain.
I'd love to be a James Bond villain.
Oh, my God.
I really want to manifest that shit.
You should, it does manifest, do you?
Okay, let's.
just get into this now. Do you genuinely believe that manifesting works? You know what I think about
manifesting right? It's better to think about positively thinking about saying nice happening than
thinking about shit happening. Like I usually sit in the corner of catastrophizing. Like what
would they pick me? All the different people that they could pick. Why would I even be in the
running? Whereas now I'm trying to be more positive with how I think of things going, well, you know what? A lot of
the sort of actors who could play Jaws
have already been in Bond, so it's slim
pickings. I told you about the
did I tell you about the
audition thing
we got recently? Have I told
this about the, I can't
know in the movie, but it was quite a big film
and they
basically got in touch, you know, like there's a
part that we think could be good for Tom
and I was like, wow, this
is big, big film.
This isn't like, I sort of shaking when I
opened the email.
at the size of the thing.
Red the part, really fun, part, multi-layered.
I was like, fucking, oh, this is incredible.
I go and I have a chat with someone from the casting department,
and they were like, okay, before you get too excited,
this is very much, we like you for this.
We think you could be great for this,
but there's, you know, there's offers out on this part.
So we need you to know that we're going out to Pistice,
Dave Petista, Jason Ma'maure.
We're looking at potentially a guy from the WWE
who hasn't done any acting before,
but we like him.
We think he has an energy.
They've basically subsequently reeled off
about 17 or 18 names of different big guys
around the globe.
And then we're like, you know,
so we got some offers out,
there's some people interested,
some people reading it.
But if these people aren't, you know, into it,
we'd love to see a tape.
It feels like a weird time to contact you to demonstrate interest, doesn't it?
Yeah, at the moment the industry is in a very strange place.
So, like, if these people don't want to do it,
would you be interested in getting involved?
It's just that.
It's a real telling, you know, no disrespect to this film
and the people that are making it or whatever.
But sometimes it's really telling how people are willing to treat.
you when they can. I mean, it's such a, I mean, listen, it's not the worst thing that's ever
happened to anybody, but it's a weird thing to list to you all the names that are ahead of
you in the thing. You have to be, you have to be, they have to trust. And by the way,
in reality, there's nothing wrong with that, I guess. You know, if you, if you take away your
personal ego in your attachment to how well you think you can do the job, because we, we both
know you would have been, if you get it or, wait, I don't know what the state of players.
Oh, no, no, I've not got it.
It's definitely gone away.
So someone else is taking up that.
You'd be brilliant at it.
We know that, right?
Because you're supremely talented.
If you put that to one side,
it makes sense, you know, sometimes when you sort of,
like when you sort of see that they're listing these names,
it makes sense, right?
I mean, Dave Battista, of course they're going to go for him.
It makes sense.
It makes sense.
But they have to be pretty sure that you're in the sort of,
you're in the sort of mental position or whatever
to not be really upset by that, right?
I would say, firstly, I'd say when I came on,
I was very, very enthusiastic as I,
as you mean, you know, is my white house.
I was very excited about it.
And that's before you knew us about the movie, right?
You just thought there's a random Zoom that you clicked on.
It's a happy chance that you'd manage to actually speak to some of them.
If I could send a Zoom on my email, I'll jump in
and I'll enter whatever Zoom.
It could be a business meeting.
If you ever find Tom's email address,
Just send him a Zoom.
He'll ping on there
like he's being cast as the new Black Panther.
So, you know, just...
It could be for anything.
Yeah.
And it'll be that news essay, by the way.
And by the way, you'll think to yourself,
surely Tom wouldn't be enthusiastic
about being cast as a new Black Panther.
The backlash would be enormous.
No.
Tom would still be absolutely delighted.
And it doesn't have to be a casting for anything.
It could be anything.
Yeah.
It could be just talking about...
It could be somebody that's seen Black Panther
and wants to just talk to you about it.
I'll be absolutely...
I'll look into that with the same.
energy is someone who's just found out
that they've won the lottery
and got engaged on the same day
and their wife to be is
asked them to marry them.
I think, so I came on something
very, very enthusiastic, very chatty
and I think that
there, I think, I don't think
they necessarily meant, I personally don't think
they were being harsh or mean.
I just think they were trying to manage expectations.
But here's a way of manage expectations.
Don't contact you yet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, that's a really good way of not getting someone's hopes up.
I realised, by the way, look, so this movie was shooting in another country,
quite a lot of way from here, I started asking questions about the country
and sort of like asking about accommodation time.
Whereabouts would it be in this country?
I haven't been there.
I've sort of said I'd read about it a bit.
And I think, so I think there's an element of like, hey, buddy,
you're a good guy
you seem like a sweet kid
but even though you're 20 years old
to me it feels okay to call you a kid
Tom tell me just before we get into this
have you heard of Google
are you aware of that as a thing
do they have that in the UK
just to look up stuff
I think is mate I just got really excited
I want to hear from first day
what a place it might be good law
What would you say, like, a lot of it obviously really excited to get involved in the project?
Yeah, I need to tell you, Tom, Tom, Tom, you're not involved yet.
This is really just a part.
It's a precursor.
Well, let me just stop you there, my sweet, sweet soul.
What I would say is even by dint of the fact.
Okay, sweet sweet sweet so I find you being condescending there.
That I am, even by dint of the fact that I'm on this Zoom discussing it,
means that I'm involved in the project in a small way.
Very much a favour to your agent, who's my cousin in the UK.
I know it's shooting in Thailand.
Well, question is, where'd you get the best patty?
I bloody love patty.
All the little noodly nude sitting in my tummy.
Where do you think, where do you think, I'm the first day, hold on a shit.
Maybe you go to, maybe you go to Pouquet on your own and you try some of this.
Fuck it.
Yeah, your agent told me that you are a fucking idiot.
Okay, Tom, Tom, Tom.
A Pookeet idiot.
Isn't that he pronounced it?
Yeah, okay, yeah. Tom, Tom, I need to level with you on this. Tom, yeah. Okay, listen, listen. I'm just really, honestly, could I just say, I know we've only just started, I know, could I just stop me? I know if I just started talking, you are one of my favorite people I've ever interacted with you. Yeah, okay. Okay, with that as a cursor, with that in mind, I need to tell you. You and I, you and I, you and I should go. You're very much, Tom. You and I should get a pad tie. We could call it lad tie.
that's very good
what I need to tell you Tom
is you're very much on the
reserve part at the list
for this part okay
I don't want you to get your hope so
let me just
let me just properly
conjugate and commemorate
what you're saying to me
what you're familiar those work
so so I
I'm assuming there'll be
Colette this is going to run
when you say when you say
when you say reserve
I assume there'll be what
there'll be a bench
flowing out to Thailand
and I'll sit on the bench
Okay
Can I break this down?
Do you reserve?
Are you a sports fan, Tom?
Are you a sports fan, Tom?
A sports fan?
A sports fan.
Do you like sport?
Yeah, of course.
Come on you irons.
Yeah, okay.
I'm guessing that's a soccer team.
Yeah, okay, Tom, Tom, Tom.
So if you will think about it
as a sports team,
and you have your first starting 11 in soccer
or you have your 5 in basketball,
and then you have the bench,
you would be somebody who's hoping to get on the bench.
No, no, no, no, no, no, you're not on the bench.
Just get me out of the end of the sweet, sweet bench.
I don't want you to get carried away with.
Tom, Tom, you're not on the bench.
You're in the changing room hoping to get on the bench, okay?
Scenario wise.
Do you know what happens before the bench, they get changed?
You're not getting changed.
At the moment, at the moment, I don't want you to get this dizzy.
You've not even got a kit.
There's not, you know, but there's a chance.
Who do you want to speak to you to get kit then?
Who do I, what we're saying to you as at some point?
Should I get my agent to email about kit then?
Say if 18 other players, I'll bring my own kit.
No, no, no, no, no.
If a 18 other players get in.
I love clubs.
I love, Tom, Tom, Tom, Tom, look, I need to tell you,
and I don't want you to be upset by this.
This is a very much a favorite.
Your agent has told me.
that you were getting quite down about the industry.
I know that this might make you worse,
but this is very much a call to say,
we know who you are,
we understand that you are an actor,
but at the moment there's 18 other actors
who are we're going to go out to.
And if those other 18 don't want to take the part,
there'll be another list,
and you should be on that list.
Okay, that's what I'm saying here.
Okay?
I've got to be honest
I can't
I cannot actually
believe this
and Tom
can I say as well
if you're doing a Zoom like this
wear a top
you should be wearing a shirt
to do this top list
is a big move
so what you're saying is if I can just
like summarise what you're saying
you know I'm an actor
Thank you. Thank you so much, you're so much, you're sweet, sweet soul.
If that's what you're going to take from this, that's great. Okay, that's, I like a positive attitude. So we should be in touch.
I've got a very can-do attitude. I think I can do everything. Like, you know, you tell me about something for 10 minutes, so I believe I can do it.
You know what, Tom, you know what you can do right now? End the Zoom. Because at the moment, you're trickling down,
had list and there's a chance that...
Oh, okay.
Yeah. It was fun.
It was fun, fun, fun. I didn't
sort of felt like it lost a bit
of steam towards the end there.
J.T. will make some sips if they're needed.
Yeah, so
that's a very...
That's how I felt with that vibe.
Yeah, I don't even know how... Why did we start
talking about that in the first place?
I can't even remember now.
As is our way.
Oh, we're talking about manifestation.
Oh, yeah.
Do you believe manifestation works?
Yeah, but I think it's just good to be positive
rather a negative in life, right?
I do think it's okay to be positive,
but I do think there's a downside to being positive
if you might allow me a little bit of space to discuss.
Preach, my brother, preach.
Well, my solid helmet, preach.
Well, in my opinion,
the problem with being positive is that you require things to go well
in order for you to fuel that kind of energy, do you know what I mean?
And so there is a certain argument that being positive means that if you're in a
net, you will have noticed, like, I mean, this is just what I'm doing from my experience,
but you notice, like if you're in a negative mood, then you feel like everything's
against you, and then it's confirmation bias.
You start looking for the negative things, whereas if you're positive, you start
being, you know, you start looking for all the positive things.
The problem is, is like, if you're feeling really positive and then you don't get something,
then that leads to disappointment.
I think the key, and I've not mastered this yet,
but I think the key is to accept whatever outcomes
as equally okay for your life.
Do you mean?
So if you're going for something
and you really, really want it,
if you get it, that's great.
If you don't get it, that is also great.
You have to try and find a way
where you're unaffected by this thing.
In my opinion, and I haven't managed it,
but I think that's probably the way to true.
That's the way to true enlightenment.
Yeah, and really?
I think so.
Yeah, see, I think it's just like pick yourself up, dust yourself down,
going for another round.
Yeah, yeah.
If you're a boxer who's had the shit kicked out of seven rounds,
you've got to think, there's five rounds left.
I've only got to land a punch.
Yeah, but you'll still lose, though, won't you, if you just land a punch.
Yeah, no, but no, if that punch not sure.
Yeah, so what I'm saying is it, yeah, sure.
If a punch, yeah, but if then the punch doesn't knock the guy out,
then you're feeling like he failed, but you haven't failed.
But then you go, oh, hold up, hold up.
There's a way I can get through his guard.
Right.
There you go, yeah, yeah.
But then if you then, my point is if you still then gone to lose the fight,
my argument is you've got to find a way that you can still be content regardless of that.
A little bit like Dave Allen, you know?
Mate, can I say Dave Allen, by the way, I just adore Dave Allen.
Well, the reason I mentioned him is, well, partly because he brought out the boxing,
but also I heard him give like such an honest appraiser.
of almost too self-deprecating
about his performance
in the ring or whatever.
Did you watch the fight?
I watched the highlights, yeah.
It's incredible that he just, he kept some going forward and going forward
and he lost the fight as he said,
but he is like, I don't know if you know
too much about his past and everything,
but he's just a very, he's very honest soul
within the world of sport, you know.
he wears all his past, you know, very openly,
and then I think that's actually quite an incredible thing.
Look, I mean, look, look.
You know he's at school with Lewis Thomas. Tomlinson?
Was he really?
They were really good friends.
They were really good friends. They were surrounding the same.
I mean, I can imagine that was quite a cool group of lads to be in with.
But, like, my group of lads when I was at Hazewitt.
I, uh, I, uh, look, I think it's good to be honest about, you know,
what's going on, whether it be, I don't know.
in a boxing ring or underselling your Dublin show.
I don't think there's anything wrong in just being open.
Yeah, by the time this goes out,
we've currently not done the Dublin show.
By the time this goes out, we will have done the Dublin show.
Can I just say, what a show.
Thank you so much to all of you for coming out.
Thank you to Ashley B.
So the 27 people that were there.
Thank you to Ashton B for joining us.
And to get a nine-minute standing ovation,
I felt like I was in Cannes.
It was unbelievable.
I'm slightly,
Dublin's just, it's very hard to, like,
you know, we had two incredible shows that were so great.
The Hackney Empire.
Thank you so much.
Oh, by the way, while we're talking about Hackney Empire,
just, I don't want to bring them mood down,
but there was a, there's a, there's a,
there's a, somebody at our show,
and I'm not going to go into details,
but they got in touch.
They had a horrible, they basically had a bit of a horrible experience
as a result of somebody else that had two,
much to drink and was just being a bit of a horrible bastard was just something to do with what
happened at the end yeah yeah and can i just say it's first of what i want to give my
biggest apologies to that person who you should be able to come to a show and it's absolutely
fine um the other person um have a like have a long hard look at yourself man like i don't know
what the fuck you're thinking but it's just it was horrible but look i i i just wanted to get that
out there because i don't want this person i had a lot of people mess i don't know about you but
message about what happened at the end of Wednesday's show.
It was a very strange, I mean, I weirdly had that in stand-up where that's happened.
But it was, yeah, it was sort of a bit of a blight at the end of one being two amazing nights.
And it's, you know, the old adage is it only takes one prick to ruin a fate, so is just fake.
Yeah, I mean, what a horrible analogy that is, by the way.
But anyway, thank you so much
to everyone that came to the Hackney Empire shows.
They were great.
And look, we don't know.
We don't know.
Dublin might be sold out.
You know, we might walk into a sold-out room.
Yeah, I don't know if that's going to be a struggle to happen.
But a shout out, Ashley and B.
For being, as you said, being involved.
Sweet, Ashley.
I mean, it's what I'm finding incredible, actually,
is somebody that's just been spouting forth
and the merits of being positive.
Since we started talking about our own experience,
you've sort of become one of the most,
your shoulders have dropped,
your head's dropped,
your voice tone has changed.
It's really horrible to watch.
Whenever I think about,
I have slight PTSD on the basis
that I have this with,
me and you've joked about this before,
when I last toured Ireland,
I had this exact scenario with Dublin.
I've been here, I love Dublin.
It's very much a place as I've talked openly about.
I see as, you know, the land of my forefathers.
I adore the Irish people.
I think maybe, again, it might be me being a little bit beggary.
Like a Jack Russell running to someone's back door.
Yeah.
Sort of like scratching on the door.
An owner who'd forgotten about me potentially.
But, look, we're very grateful to the people that came,
and we're so glad it sold out.
It was amazing.
It's like we thought it wasn't going to sell well
and it ended up selling out.
It's incredible.
Now, Tom, I'd love to,
Before we get into emails, I'd love to explore something with you, if you might let me.
Go on, my darling friend.
My sweet achievement.
Just bear with me one second.
My sweet achievement.
Yeah.
So I know there's a TV show coming out about this, but when I was away, because I just announced this show for Prime Video.
When we're away filming this thing, we got into, me and, you know,
Lindsay, costume Lindsay.
Yeah.
That's not a film.
Yeah, but anyway, Lindsay, Kit and Aiden, who, as we know, against previous insinuations, you like.
I do, I do.
Yeah, yeah.
Delicious prospect.
We started talking about am I the asshole, which is where people sort of send in scenarios and say, am I the prick in the situation?
All right.
So, I'd love to give you a couple of these, Tom.
and see what you think, all right?
And if anybody listening from the Animal Pack
has got any of these, we'd love some of these, actually.
Well, depending on how this goes, this might go shit.
Okay, ready?
So imagine JT will put together a jingle.
Yeah.
Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole?
Am I the asshole?
Okay.
I'm finally getting married in two months' time
after a year of planning
and everything has been going to plan so far with no hiccups.
That was until my mother called me earlier in the week.
to ask me to postpone my wedding by at least a month.
My sister is currently pregnant.
Her due date is July the 17th.
My sister asked my mother to be there for her for the whole of July,
since the due date is just an estimate, and this is her first baby.
Long story short, the father of her child is my ex-boyfriend,
whom she was sleeping with while we were dating.
I'm not willing to postpone my wedding for my sister,
and I told my mother that, and also that she just simply needed to choose who she wanted to support.
She's been fenced sitting and that's why we're here.
She says, I'm forcing her to make an impossible decision
and my aunts are also trying to convince me to postpone.
Don't get me wrong.
I know she's also mum's child and wants to be there for her,
but I want her there for me and I've already waited a year for this
and everything is already planned.
Am I the asshole?
Tom, what do you think in that situation, please?
No, no, no, no, no, no.
She, this person isn't the asshole.
I mean, if anything, this person feels like they've absolutely had a ruffle rye through life
the mother
who
so the sister was sleeping with
the person who's having the boyfriend
the baby with
the sister sleeping with her boyfriend
while they were together
yeah I mean it feels that they've papered over those cracks
which I think will lead to further
sort of rough water
down the down the road
I also think
like isn't it strange that
like the mum would even
like I don't know
not that the sister who's done
that she should be ostracized
and thrown from the village
but it is
I don't think anybody
suggesting that she should be
thrown from the village
no but it's a quite
scandalous thing to do isn't it
do I mean
you think there there'd be a little bit of
you know
maybe give her a week
where she's got like a weak window
for the baby
and then you're like look
you know
Claire what you did to Claire was disgusting
and Claire you know
moved on from
from the kicking
that you and Aiden gave her
um
whoa whoa
whoa
What?
Whoa.
Whoa.
Why have you gone for Aiden there as a name?
Because we were just talking about Aidan Spatman.
It's like an unfortunate...
It's not Aidan Spatman.
This guy's called Aidan Delavere.
Okay.
She's like Aidan Delavere and, you know, Claire Delavere.
We know that would have been a ridiculous name, Claire.
And I'll see that he's, you know, he's had an affair with your sister Sue.
But Sue and Aiden are happy now.
But so I'll give him a week's window.
So to have the baby in.
and then you can get married
any of the other three weeks.
Yeah.
But I think that more people
should be there for Claire
because I think she sounds like
she's had a real...
I don't know who Claire is actually.
I don't know who Claire's the woman
who's getting married.
Okay, fine.
Aidan and Sue are the scumbags
who cheated on her.
Well, you know, it's very easy
to say that, isn't it?
We don't know the circumstances, do we?
Well, in what sense?
I think it's...
I think...
We don't...
Look, look, I think it's situation-wise.
I don't think there's a more affair-wise for a sister to sleep with someone's boyfriend
is a pretty horrible situation to find yourself.
What I'm saying is there could be supporting information that might make that not seem
as bad as it actually.
Well, we haven't got anything.
I can, look, as a judge, I can't see it.
I know, but I'm just saying you're assuming.
And what does assuming do it makes an ass of you and me, doesn't it?
Yeah, but you can say that.
That's one of those stupid, but we're in a court of law at the moment.
We're not in a court of law.
have. I have to deal with the facts
in the case that I have. Okay. That is that
Claire was cheated on by Sue and Aden,
a scandalous player of
a pair of harlots, right?
Claire has managed to drag herself up
from this heartbreak. You know,
alongside, by the way, let me say,
she's in one lane and she's found true
love. On the side, it was flip side,
looking to her right, she's got Aidan
and Claire, Sue, just
getting on very, very happy with themselves
and just flying through and now having a baby, they're
probably going to get married.
doubt that Claire's going to be involved
so what I'm saying is at the moment
we have to look at what we have
facts that we have on paper
I didn't realize we're in a court
I think I think the most disgusting
prick in this is Aidan
I think he's a horrible man
I think that Sue is
soon needs to have a cold hard look at herself
and I think the mother is also awful
because she's playing her daughters off against each other
and actually needs to sort of like
look at your kids as equals
not as you know pillars that you can be
propped up by because your own life is shambolic
And I think that Claire is a saint.
Okay, well, we don't know.
I mean, all of these, thank God you're not actually a judge.
But, you know, I just think, I don't think any, I don't think any,
I don't think Claire, as you call her, is the arseller in this at all.
She's a princess.
We don't know she's a princess either, but she's not the arseller in this.
She's a very decent human being.
But I think if, I don't think she should be forcing anything.
I think like, I don't, I mean, I don't think her mum should be asking her to postpone the wedding.
I think she makes a choice that she makes it right for her.
And she can say to her mum, look, I'm not willing to postpone the wedding.
I don't think that makes you an asshole.
And you can be there or not.
It's up to you.
And then she has to let her mum make that decision.
I think that's the only way to do it, really.
I don't think she's an asshole.
But do you not think that Claire's mum is treating her daughters like trinkets from a sort of fairground?
that she sort of picks up and drops whenever she likes.
No, I don't, I don't.
I think, you know, we don't know if there's any issues.
Like, you know, her other daughter might be feeling really nervous about the pregnancy
and she wants to be supportive as a mother.
I wouldn't, I don't, I think it's a bit of a legistism.
Well, I can tell you now, by the way, can I just say, by the way,
the scumbag that has had an affair with her, he is not, he won't be around.
We don't definitely know he's a scumbag, do it?
I mean, that's the other thing.
Yeah, but he's got, what, he's sleeping with his sister.
I know, I know, look, look, don't get me wrong.
in all likelihood, this isn't good.
I get that.
No.
I get that.
But, you know, what I'm saying is,
you want to do Christmas dinner when he's just giving Sue a nudge
and Claire's, like, toiling over a big turkey.
Yeah.
Worrying about whether the parsnips are going to be crispy enough.
Yeah.
Oh, God, everyone, I'm so sorry.
Dinner will be ready soon.
Aidan gives Sue a nudge and goes,
come on, let's go upstairs.
Sue giggles, flirtatiously.
Her mum gives them both a knowing wink.
Don't worry, I've got this.
You two went upstairs.
Well, I feel like you're adding a few layers there.
I'm just saying the world's conspired against Claire
doing her best
sweating there
the sprouts steaming in her face
dinner's really ready
dinner's where it was
yeah sure but Tom
I do feel like you're sort of guilty
of not following your own advice there
Claire has met someone else
she's getting married
she's in love
so the idea that the idea that the world is conspiring
Yeah you know what Claire's life is like now
is it's just her and Bill
on Christmas Day and she's like
oh god I hope he's past it's crispy
and Bill puts his hand on her lower back and goes
hey
however they're done
they'll be delicious
because you've cooked these with love and respect
and she'll go
wow this didn't used to be my Christmas
what a fucking sad nerd
shut up Bill
anyway
um
draw one more
would you like one more
hit me baby
am I the asshole
am I the asshole
Am I the asshole?
This was quite long, so I'll try and sub it as I go.
My boyfriend and I have recently hosted a dinner at his place
with some of his co-workers and their partners.
He recently got a promotion at work,
and his friends over there asking for...
Congratulations.
Asking for a treat.
I'm South Asian, and sometimes when I have leftovers
from some of the traditional dishes I cook,
I pack it for his lunch.
Apparently many of his co-workers like the smell and look of his food,
and some have even tried it and liked it.
She's Bangladeshi, by the way,
to give you an insight. So when I asked him if we just invite them at his place where I'd cook some
traditional dinner, he got excited and said yes, he gave me a heads up, that two of them are
vegetarian. For dinner, she's gone into the details here. For dinner, I cooked white rice, tomato
chutney, mashed potato, spinach, onion fritters, Friday plant, Chinese vegetables, spicy egg curry,
chicken curry, lentils with green mango. For dessert, I made gojad halwa, carrot-based pudding,
also served veg strips snacks and beverages before dinner is an evening snack. All of them
seem to love my cooking and kept complimenting you throughout the
night. They also asked me many questions about the ingredients and what's the best way to eat each of them.
I was happy to answer those. After they all left, my boyfriend started ranting. What was all that
about? I got very confused and apparently when he assumed I was going to cook traditional meals,
he thought it would be more like what they serve at the weddings, buriani, chicken roast,
spice, beefy curry, kebab, fried fish and other types of veggie dishes. He thought what we served
was not up to standards, especially when guests are over. I argue that most of my dishes
were vegetarian friendly and that these are comfort food, which also quite tasty, since they're all seasoned
made from scratch.
He keeps saying he should have just taken to a restaurant
and I'm lucky none of them are Indian or something.
Otherwise, they'd be able to tell that we just fed them grass.
I was very hurt by that comment.
It's a high effort into all the cooking
when I don't even live there.
Um, okay.
I mean, the fucking hell, this is hardly, look,
I mean, I know that sometimes I struggle,
but there's fucking, who's the pricking this situation?
The boyfriends are fucking, I think, by the way, who's the...
What an absolute fucking awful fucking...
It's difficult to see another side of this, isn't it?
There's no other side of it.
There's this beautiful, fucking absolute dame
who's fucking there, she's cooking, everything's extravagant.
And by the way, everything you said aside the mashed potato,
which I'm completely enamored by,
and I'd love to see what she's done there,
she's cooking this beautiful banquet for his friends.
And then he's got the front to say, oh my God.
This guy's got, he's ground my gear somewhat.
This guy's got to fuck off.
like seriously
Are these
These scenarios
Are these real people?
These are real?
This is somebody
It's like submitted it to a Reddit
Wow
Wow my God
Get out of Dodge girl
Get out of Dodge
Get out of someone who
Out of
Yeah Dodge
I don't know why I sort of gave
More emphasis
I had nothing else
To end the sentence
I'd love it
If her and Claire
just bumped into each other
At a supermarket
Or a juice bar
And became friends
They're trying to need each other
Just because they need each other
It's a nice thing
Okay.
I feel like they're both,
both people have been taken for granted in life,
and that's one thing that really upsets me.
Hmm.
Like Lewis Lane.
Pardon?
Like Lois Lane.
Yeah, no, you're right.
Okay, if you've got any am I the asshole dilemmas,
we'd love to hear them.
Wolfelpod at gmail.com, please.
And also, can you put Am I the asshole in the title of the,
just so we know, in the subject line?
Yeah.
Am I the asshole?
Am I the asshole?
I'm on the ass-hop.
Tim's new Cravable Raps are made for the times your boss said the what now?
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Need to pick me up?
Snack back to reality with Tim's new craveable raps,
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Now, speaking of emails,
Hit me, baby.
All right, this is from Anonymous.
As a mum of a 15-year-old,
every time Rom says 6-7, it cracks me up.
Tom seems so dismissive each time Rom says it.
I'm wondering if Tom has any clear what Rom is saying.
It makes you so much more funny.
I'm so brainwashed by this
that when I'm looking at spreadsheets at work
and I see 6-7, I say it in my head that way.
Can we find it if Tom understands the difference?
The reference, sorry.
Do you know what she's talking about?
Go on, go on.
Sorry?
Well, how tall are you?
6-7.
6-7.
Have you noticed I've been doing that
every time you say six, seven?
No.
No?
I've only done it a few times.
But it's like a meme.
My kids constantly, you can't say the word six seven
without them going, six seven.
It's like this new skibbid.
Yeah, six seven.
You should do that and put it up in my own way.
Dad, do you know what comes after five?
What?
Six seven.
There's a lot of that in a house.
Can we just get you doing that
and we can release it as like a little.
Six seven.
yeah so I did it a couple of times when you've said six seven
and uh you haven't clocked well
and right again what I love is the eagle yeah
do I mean how tall are you the eagle I
six seven six seven I like it
yeah I like it usually by the way when I'm talking about my height
I'm very very in the zone of talking about my height
no that's true you really do lock in
I was actually by the way I was chatting someone the other day
about doing a range of sort of caps with six seven on them
you've got eight seven on yours but yes six seven on them
the people haven't got asked my
oh that's good
oh that's a really good idea
um yeah
I might get a t-shirt that said
it was an eye infection when I was younger
ha ha ha ha
hi Ramesh and Tom
I'm turning 48 in December
I'm creeping towards a big
5 o and I'm wondering what's your advice for enjoying
the run up to 50 without filling the half-time
whistle's gone
I'll beat your Dublin show next week
can't wait
what do you think
Sorry, can you go again?
Catherine's just texted me about asking me
about where Grace's library book was.
And then I couldn't remember.
She gets her little fighting if she doesn't get her library book back.
What did you think I was doing while you were doing that?
I thought you were looking for the emails.
Catherine's taking Grace to school now,
so she's like, she's just text me and she said,
sorry to interrupt.
By the way, we should say on this,
what big Ramesh rang an Afan fan, Grace has become.
Oh my God.
Do you mind if I play this in?
because this is one of the best things that ever happened to me.
You can play the sound, yeah.
Hold on one second.
So this is Tom Davis.
I'm singing during my Sunday night.
We're about to settle down to,
I talk to you about this in a minute,
but we're about to settle down to watch Weapons,
Theo Lisa and I,
which I don't know if you're aware of that film,
but...
Yeah, no, I've heard about that, but watch it.
Anyway, let's talk about that in a minute.
But anyway, then I get this video from Tom.
This is Grace.
That is very cute, man.
Ramesh, I love Ramesh so much.
Yeah, very sweet.
Where does that come from?
We were watching some of your highlight reels.
Did she watch that clip I posted on Instagram last night?
Yeah, about your asshole.
It felt like a real good...
No, she's a big weakest link fan.
Also very much.
Yeah, loves Chicken Run too.
We watch it a lot.
She constantly asking, like, she knows the character,
but she now thinks you play all the characters in Chicken Run.
Well, actually, that's what we originally went for.
That's what I said to Flo to go for, to push for.
But she didn't manage to make it work.
Yeah, but my God, it's a beautiful voice you use.
Anyhow, what's weapons like?
You're a fan?
Oh, so it's like a horror film, essentially.
So the premise of the film is,
this class in this school,
all of the kids go missing apart from one kid.
They just disappear.
Yeah, yeah.
And the set, I won't give any...
Well, and the thing that they've all had in common
is at quarter past two in the morning,
they all got up out of bed.
and ran out of their houses, never to be seen again.
And so the film just kind of explores while that all happens.
And it was amazing.
But it's so funny watching...
So Charlie and Alex had gone to bed.
So it's me, Theo and Lisa.
Lovely beautiful.
We just sat and watched this film in the dark.
And we were...
Oh, mate.
I mean, we were jumping up and down, swearing, screaming, grabbing each other.
It was an...
Like, watching a horror film was an amazing experience.
I mean, some people say it's not a horror.
Some people say it's a thriller with horror.
elements but whatever it was you know it's got scary bits in it i've heard any good
things my friend i've heard any good yeah it's good i'd love to be in a horror film you know
we should do one we should do a horror a gentle horror why has it got to be gentle well actually
when we did when we did the hackney shows we were talking about somebody uh we started to we
started to make ghosts for some reason it we were somebody that messaged in was into ghost
and then we talked about the fact that you and i were talking about staying at a haunted house
and then I secretly got freaked out
and didn't pursue any further.
But I don't know how I'd do with that.
I think we should do it as an extra,
like a bolt on. We should do it.
You're not going to be able to stay at a house like that, man.
If shit starts going down,
it's just you and me and some podcast equipment.
You think that's going to be cool?
JT ain't coming.
Let me tell you that for a little bit.
JT, by the way, JT strikes me that actually.
JT's very level-headed.
You know who would be great is Rob Persson.
in that situation.
Yeah.
Big shout
to Rob Percy
who's DJing
at the shows.
He would be great.
I adore Rob Percy.
He's very much
become a bit
of part of the fabric
of this podcast.
Yeah,
but I don't want him
there doing sound effects.
It's the opposite
of what we know.
But he has a beautiful,
yeah, but he's got a beautiful
like what vibe to me.
I think even ghosts
would like
Rob Percy.
I don't doubt that,
but I just,
I think it would freak me out
too much.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't believe in them.
But,
you know what?
I believe in them.
I know they're out
there but you what makes me laugh is you don't believe in them yet you're more terrified than me
yeah i know it's weird so and i believe in them yeah but i can i tell you either get believing
or get achieving sir okay very good very good um my eye uh posit a theory that the reason that
you're not scared is that you're not fully engaging with what the reality of this experience is
going to be if we do it what number one okay worst case scenario we get attacked by some
ghost schools right and we have to fucking try and fight for our way out of a hornet house
Tom, Tom, let me just, as you were discussing at the Wolf and Al Hackney show,
you were shit scared because you woke up to find a t-shirt drooped across a lamp that you didn't know was there.
So the idea that you and I are going to be fighting blade style through a lot of bunch of monsters.
Seems unrealistic, isn't it?
You, mate, if that, whoa, whoa, whoa, if fucking ghosts come for me and you, bro,
you best believe I'm going to fight to death against them.
I'm not leaving you there.
I don't doubt it will be to the death.
my question is
do you really think
you're going to have a brave reaction
in that scenario
if that was to happen
I'd have to have
and of course
would be terrified at first
I'll be like
fuck
and then you'll go
we've got one way out
you've got to do
what we can
to stay alive
and then I'm like
okay fuck it
this guy's fucking
he's less scared
than I am
and then it'll become
a competition
about who's less scared
who's more scared
and we'll probably find
some like
I don't know
like rakes
and fucking bits
of shit to fight the fucking ghosts with.
You can't fight a ghost for rakes, bro.
Okay, imagine this, right?
Just imagine this.
Imagine we were, uh, we're lying in bed, not together.
Yeah.
You know, I imagine we'll be sleeping in the same.
Probably sleeping bags, by the way.
We were, there weren't in the same.
In the same.
Well, some of the stuff we got sent in was like hotels,
haunted hotels.
You're going to stay a room and, you're going to stay in a room now.
Will we share, we share a room, obviously.
I'm not fucking going in a room on my own in a place like that.
Are you mad?
Like, fuck, you know.
But I, I, I, I, I think that we'd have to get a time.
I don't want to share toilets with you.
Are you going to talk about what happy the heckney?
We can talk about it.
I mean, I wasn't going to bring it up.
Okay, cool.
But let's look.
No, no, no, you wanted to open that horrible can of turds.
Let's do it.
So people at Hackney will know that Tom,
we got some lovely food before the show from Temple Less Satan.
Beautiful, yeah.
Really good, really good.
Amazing.
Delicious food, yeah.
as is Tom's sort of way
he needed to go to the toilet
almost immediately off the minute
as he was chewing the last bit of food
he said oh I'm going to have to make some space or whatever
and then he went off and he came back
and what it turned out Tom had done was
he'd gone into the first toilet
to do a smaller toilet
the smaller cooose done a bit
decided it was too small
and then finished his shit in the other toilet
there's only two toilets
so he's basically done a two-course shit
I've never even heard of that before.
But you did render both toilets borderline unusable.
For a short time afterwards.
Yeah, yeah, there was no windows in them.
And I did feel for you as you sort of squeezed into that.
I mean, that first thought it was so small.
It's tiny.
Yeah, the reason I went into that one is because I thought this will be the one that's been leased.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Infected because you said he's only done the hors d'oeuvre.
Yeah. So listen, if we're sharing, we can have our own toilets, but we're sharing a room.
Okay. So, so imagine this.
Worst case scenario, you know, go, go hit me, hit me.
No, but you all think about ghosts come to us and it's like fucking Casper and his mates turn up.
I'm telling you, like, you're lying.
By the way, if Casper turns out, it doesn't matter, it's Casper, oh, fuck it up.
I'm not going through it again.
Yeah, fine, fine.
So we lie in bed and then you just start hearing knocking from inside a wardrobe or from behind a mirror or something.
or like you hear a scream in the distance.
You're telling me you're not shit in your pants?
Of course I'm shit in my pants.
I want to be fucking terrified.
I'd have a vivid and fucking vulnerable imagination, right?
But I'm not going to fuck it.
Like, if I'm in a scenario,
I'm not just going to bow down and go,
all right, we're going to get fucked up by some ghosts.
That's just how we're going to live it out here.
The worst case scenario, if the ghosts come into the room
and it's me and you, I will fucking go, right,
we've got no ego.
We haven't got the ghost busters fucking proton packs, right?
So we're going to have to fucking deal.
Will you say those words, do you think?
We haven't got the ghost buses proton packs.
I've pretty said something like, we've got no proton packs here.
If I was with somebody in a situation, I didn't know them.
Like, say, for example, I got,
ended up in some situation where we're facing off against some ghosts.
And the other person said, we haven't got ghost buses proton packs.
I would just, I'd probably just kill myself.
Because I'd rather just do this under my own hand
than be with what is clearly a fucking idiot
as we head to our inevitable deaths.
Right.
Yeah, but you've got a fucking look at the scenario
what we've got.
What a guy is got, we've got,
all we've got is at each other, right?
So we're going to have to try and outrun these
and fucking probably lay some traps
or like, you know, some sort of sleight of hand magic.
I understand that if we're being attacked
by the two burglar from home alone.
But if we're facing off against actual demons
or whatever it is.
How do you beat a ghost in a fire?
Well, I don't
You can't
Yeah, so what do we do?
We just have to wait till morning
Well, you know, they're all scared of lights
So if you turn all the lights on
Not true
Really?
Yeah, that's not going to work
If we're doing this, I'm going to have to put
Can someone get in touch about how we deal with ghosts
If they come to attack us?
Maybe we need to take somebody like a guardian with us
Like a ghost expert
Yeah
By the way, do you know anything about this?
Because you're mates with Charlie Cooper, aren't you?
aren't Charlie and Daisy May Cooper
doing a haunted...
They're doing a documentary about it.
Do you know anything about it?
By the way, they're both big ghosties.
And I'm with them on that.
But yeah, I mean,
I know a little bit about what they filmed.
I can't give any spoilers,
but it sounds pretty incredible.
Okay.
Well, you know,
I don't really want to be stepping on their toes.
As we know, this podcast is so original.
I would hate to be doing any derivative content.
So anyway, let's go back to that email you were reading.
No, what did it say?
I can't remember.
Oh, yeah.
I'm turning 48 in December creeping towards a big 5-0.
Wondering what your advice is for drawing the run up to 5 to 50
without feeling like the half-time whistle's got.
I mean, half-time, a chance to be a fine thing with my life expectancy.
But anyway, go on, so.
Same, same.
Listen, my friend, age ain't nothing but a number, baby.
what you've got to look at isn't how old you are in the halftime point
you've got to think wow yeah I've played a half of life
and I've got a half left to achieve even more
look at the next part as being the chapters that you're going to be most proud of
and I'm not talking about always just doing the most incredible things
but actually settling sometimes for just a little bit of presence just being there
just going you know what I've done the hard tool and the hard graph
this is time for me to enjoy to savour
the deliciousness of life
I think we all put
like a stigma around
you know I remember turning 30
no 40
and you know
coming up obviously
what's good for me is you know
three years before I'm 50
Romish is going to be there
so I'm going to see my best friend
turning 50
so I'll get an idea of what it's like
but I will say this
thank you Tom
don't let it phase you
don't let it trip you up
smile
as you face 50 and say hello brother
should we dance
and go for it.
Yeah, I do. Be proud.
Yeah, be proud.
Yeah, be proud.
Yeah, be proud.
The 5 in the O.
Yeah, it's, um, uh, I found, uh, turning 40.
I didn't find it tricky, but I was just like, okay, I'm sort of,
it's not, there's certain, you know, you're just a little less cool, aren't you?
In the traditional way of thinking of things.
But actually, I think you've become more cool since you're 40.
Yeah, some actually flow, um, so I did,
Can I just take the opportunity to thank everyone who came to the...
I did three nights at the Hackney Empire
because I did the following night we did a gig for UNICEF
in aid of Sudan.
Sudan.
And thank you to everybody that came to that.
But Flo said to me, I was talking about getting older
and then Flo said to me,
you look better than when I first signed you,
which is, it sounds like a compliment.
But actually, it's a damning indictment
of how I've looked years ago, you know?
But in all truth, I think that it's cool.
I find, I think it's quite cool getting older.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm sort of like,
not looking forward to it like I'm hoping time flies to the point.
But I think you get more comfortable as you get older.
You become sort of a bit more ready for what life throws at you.
You become a bit more seasoned.
You're able to say no to things because time, you know,
you realize that you feel you want to spend your time in valuable ways.
You do things you enjoy more rather than things that you feel that you should do.
It's a great place to be.
I don't think you'd have to be worried about it.
I always think when you get to this age,
you focus more on the filling of the pie than the crust.
Now I know that you weren't listening to a single word I said
because we're thinking about this filling thing.
So tell me, what does that mean, Tom?
Well, the crust, everyone just, yeah, when you see a pie, right,
the pie comes out, right?
You look at the crust of the pie because you can't see inside it, right?
So you're like, oh, wow, this is like an amazing pie.
And you'll put a lot of emphasis on how the pastry breaks
or how it fills.
Is it crispy enough?
Is it too soft, right?
And sometimes that can obstruct actually how delicious the centre of the pie.
The filling is, you know, for you, I don't know, like a cauliflower
and cooked in a vegan cheese roux with some peas thrown in, right?
A cauliflower and pea pie is what you've suggested for me.
Thank you, thank you.
And a bit of, probably a bit of butternut squash, a bit of sweet potato,
I'll just give you that little tang.
But, you know, you're so interested in that bit.
But all you're doing, man, is you're breaking into the pie, right?
Once the crust's gone, you've got a beautiful, steaming mess that's wholesome and decent.
And you take your time because it's a bit hot to the tongue.
You're like, oh, I'm going to take the time in this.
And that's getting older, baby.
Yeah, it was a nice analogy that you sort of ruined with the explanation there, I thought.
But anyway, it is well done for coming up with it.
Sometimes I can't believe what I is I'm working with.
But here it is.
What a blessing.
All right, Tomo.
Could you do us the honour of taking us out?
It's about that time.
Yeah.
Philip.
Philip was a swan who lived on a pond.
He was the only swan.
Surrounded by ducks.
Every day he'd swim past them and tried to converse.
As they bobbed under water, he would stick his neck under, smiling.
He was approachable, but felt very lonesome.
Well, I don't have this stupid long neck.
He always felt that the ducks would look at him.
What's he? He's not one of us.
Then one day, while potting around the edge of the pond,
he finally built up confidence to talk to one of the ducks.
He turned around and said,
Hey, I'm Philip.
How are you?
the duck turned around and said oh i see you're talking to us now philip said what do you mean
he said well you always just you know bob around the pool arrogantly with your head up high
and philip's like no that's not how it's been at all my head yay is high but i don't feel high or
above you in any way and the duck goes really and he's like no if anything i feel inadequate
I feel very alone.
The duck turns round and says,
wow, I've got it wrong.
We thought that you thought you were better on us,
but actually you wanted to be one of us.
And Philip was like,
I didn't want to be one of you.
I wanted to be myself,
but I wanted to be your friend too.
The duck laughed,
and before you knew it, the other ducks come over.
The duck explained the situation
and all the other ducks laughed,
but with Philip, not about him.
Then they all.
got in the pond and started swimming around.
See, the truth about life is it's easy
to look at someone and go, they think
that they're that thing or they think that they're
this thing. It's easy to make a
rash and flippant judgment.
But nay, also, it's easy to look
at others and think, are they laughing at me?
Don't they like me?
You can't get in the head of other people
but you can waste a lot of time trying to.
So try this going forward.
Try to be Philip the Swan
who said hello.
try and be the ducks that
laughed alongside Philip
not behind his back
try as you might
to make this a society
in which we live
a little bit like that pond
short of water at times
but always full of love
really nice
thank you so much Tom
I did
a thing on Can't Knock the Hustle
I joined this
Korean e-sports team
and one of the things I like to do was karaoke
and we sung Madonna a Madonna song
and Jim
found it so funny
that when I got in the car the other day
he just started playing the song
and demanded that I said
not demanded in a funny way
and then as he pulled up at my house
started playing it again
because he loved the fact that I did this character
so much anyway it's like a prayer
so JT could you play us out with Madonna's
like a prayer
thank you
you so much for listening to the world for now. We love your support. And thank you, Dublin,
for your standing ovation last night. We thought it was going to be undersold. It ended up
being sold out. Crazy. Crazy. Thank to Ashton B for taking part. Obviously, we don't know
if any of these things will happen. We don't even know. Ashley might pull out before.
We actually do this show, but. Ashley, Ashley, actually, she's absolutely stable. She's as good
as they get. All right, cool. Thank you so much, guys. Take care. Bye. Big love.
Oh God, I think I'm falling out of the sky.
I close my eyes.
Heaven help me.
When you call my name, it's like a little friend.
I'm down on my knees.
I want to take you there.
Give me night hour.
I can feel your power.
Just like a friend.
No, I'll take you there.
If you have a problem, opinion, feedback, or anything at all,
please email us at wolf-alpod at gmail.com.
That's wolf-alpod at gmail.com.
We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas.
Thank you.
How do you know if you're worrying too much?
How can you mend a broken heart?
Does peaking at school ruin you for life?
I'm Susie Ruffel, a stand-up comedian, and someone who has always experienced anxiety.
And I've written a book, Am I Having Fun Now?
Considering some of life's big questions.
Featuring bonus insights from the likes of Charlene Douglas, Sarah Pascoe, Elizabeth Day, and Dolly Auditon.
Am I Having Fun Now?
Is out now in hardback, e-book and audio.