Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 45: The Falafel Guy & Christmas Adverts

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

We’re talking… North American travels, huge expresso cups, audition tape anxieties, Tom’s Work In Progress shows, catering concerns and becoming ‘the falafel guy’, combating neediness when performing, our take on the new John Lewis Christmas advert and a follow up on lasts week’s childhood memories of the Streatham McDonalds. Plus, we answer emails about Rom using Tom’s impression of him in an advert and advice on parenting in the internet age. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred. They'll grant you all last request to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts get severed and serped. Bring your weak shit, where the wolf and owl are. That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing.

They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothes. dark enough to turn the sun to the moon, you'll see nothing, all your hears a huffer puff and the, expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping, impressive in it, the death bringing its head spinning, just kidding, every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Hello and welcome to The Wolf and Al with me, Rami, Ranga G, and T, Tommy D, in the place. I'm being slightly quiet because it's six in the morning where I am and I don't want to get kicked out of this hotel, you know?

Are you, you're flying again today, right? Yeah, I just did, I'm in Vancouver, and I'm flying to Seattle today. Ooh, have you ever been Seattle before? Never, but the good news is, it's because of the government shutdown over here, all flights are being affected and you just don't know what's going to happen.

So that's, it's cool for the old travel anxiety. I only found out about this shutdown fiasco over the other day. Yeah, what is that, is it very... I think you were quite high up on Trump's list of people to contact, but obviously he's only managed to get around to it now, but yeah, I mean, I can't claim to fully understand it, to be honest with you, but... What has happened?

Well, the government has shut down, like shut down, so that means that anybody working for the government is, I think, forgive my ignorance, but is not getting paid at the moment. What? Like the police, hospitals, all that shit? I really would love no follow-up questions, actually, on what I'm the information that would really help me out in terms of integrity you're in the belly of the beast you must have like now be quite like anxious about it

well I've been in Canada so I went I did New York and that was the night that Mamdani got in as mayor so that was did you party did you did you do no there were parties in the city sorry Tom I'm really distracted by what is you drinking from what seems to be like a gourd from Asterix what what is It's a little cup. A little cappuccino mug. All right. It looks quite a Christmas, is it a Christmas mug? No, no. Although I do have the feeling of that, after I have it, you know what I mean? It just makes you look like, I don't know why you get a cup that makes you look more like a giant.

It's such a... Yeah, but I try and have an espresso in big cups and it doesn't hold the heat. Is that true? It's a very weird, yeah. Why do you need it to hold the heat? It's too big a surface. Why are you sipping on an espresso? He's supposed to knock it back

like a goddamn Yeager bomb. You know what I mean? Shall I do that? I drink a pot. Yeah, okay. I understand drinking. But, um... You know, I'm just saying.

Yeah, I get it. You sip it. I'm just saying. So, not everything needs an act out, you know? And I say that for your actual acting, for your stand-up, just as well as general conversation. Don't talk to me. Acting-wise, I'm, I've just had to do a self-tape.

that arguably will land on a very important person within our industry's desk this afternoon, and they will say, why has he bothered? I think that if you're getting self-tapes, I mean, you've been on the other side of the casting process. You do sort of give a bit of leeway, don't you, for the fact that this person's had to record it. I mean, a lot of the time when I'm doing self-tapes,

Lisa's reading in the other lines. I've only got three goes in before she tells me to go fuck myself. So it really does put a little bit of pressure on the point. performance, to be honest of it. Do you know, the problem is I had to do two characters, I had to read in the other lines because Catherine won't do them anymore? And they were both Indian, weren't that you were saying?

Yeah, yeah. It's weird that you've not been up for either part, but... I mean, it really does give you an idea of how far ahead you are of me in the old acting credibility states that they'd get you to play an Asian character over me. Like an old 50s movie. You know, like when they get like Italian guys,

not Westerns playing Native American Indians. Sorry, who are the Indians? Who other their names, the character, the guy's playing them? Oh, that's Paulie. That's John Boy. That's Antonio. That's fingers. That's Big Phil.

There's Philly the lip. There's Philly the lip. He's a big guy. Backed out of that accent instantly, myself, there. I said one word, fingers. and I managed to in that two syllables demonstrate that I couldn't do it. Fucking remarkable works for me.

I had to do, so I had to do two characters and I had to basically get them out very quickly today because they need them by the end of play to that. And it's one of those things where you're doing it and you're like, this is just a waste of their time and my time. But you do get yourself into a situation where you're basically saying, I have to do this because I've said I'm going to do it.

but it doesn't have any, it doesn't have any merit. I don't think it's going to lead to me getting the job, nor do I think it's going to lead to me having an ongoing working relationship with these people. But rather that, or offend everyone. It might actually be that the audition could be that bad that someone goes,

you know, we've all been a little bit worried about some of the plot holes in this thing. Have a watch of this guy. He's either got no idea at all what he's saying or this thing's fucked. I definitely think that I've said, in self-tapes have made the team question the project. Ollie's great because Ollie would go,

come up, bros, you've got to be in the race just to, you know, you can't win the race if you don't enter it. And I'm like, well, yeah, I can also lose the race in quite embarrassing fashion. Yeah, you can lose it in a humiliating way that leads you being sort of cancelled across the industry. That's the other possibility of entering the race. Also, the worst thing is, the voice that I'm doing off-camera

is arguably better than the character, the voice that I'm doing like for the character they want me to play Well that's because you're putting less pressure on yourself For those lines That one, I'm just doing a secret agent's voice I'm like, I want to play this guy

I'll never get a part as a secret agent You can't do six foot seven that's done Well I mean I guess if you're a secret agent You're trying to not draw attention to yourself And I think you are I would describe you as an attention beacon Yeah

And a desire of attention as well actually You're a beacon that craves more, if anything. Your absolute snake. What an orvily snake you think to say? No, your brother. Your brethren. How have you been anyway? Because you've been quite busy, haven't you?

You've been doing acting. That's how I'm talking to you like you've talked to me about the album. So you've been doing your little acting, haven't you? Make-believe? Yeah. Pretending to be somebody for money. I'm pretending to be someone that I'm not. Which has been a lot of fun.

That's been good. And then the ill-fated work-in-progresses. Yeah. So let's, I don't know how much behind the, how far behind the curtain you're willing to let the animal pack. But, um... Mate, the animal pack of my kid. So I'll let them all the way. I did a work in progress last night.

I've already been suffering with awful, like, insomnia. And I was like, there's no point even trying to close my eyes tonight. This has gone so badly. Yeah. It was awful. It was epically like, this is fucking terrible. forever like it was just I felt you know that bit where you like

there needs to be so many more jokes in this I'm just essentially laying out cable and open at this fucking thing that something happens magical that is a point of work in progress though I mean yeah but it's so destroyed can I say by the way you are

fucking a don when it comes to it because you are so like you'll throw it out and then if it doesn't work you'll do a joke about it not working that's arguably funnier than the actual joke itself doesn't feel like a compliment doesn't it actual execution. It started like looking like one.

I mean, you started with words you're an absolute Don. And then what it turns out is the actual context of that is that I'm really good at making jokes about how shit the previous joke went. So thank you. No, no, if you try a bit of material, it doesn't work on stage. When you're opening up somebody's process

and you're letting people, just fucking ask for a bit of consent rather than throwing them under the bus like you've just done. No, but you are very good at If it doesn't go, you'll make a joke and go, well, that needs more work or something like that. Or this, you'll be very self-depate.

Can I also thank you for giving me one of the worst examples of how you would do that I've ever fucking heard? No, that's what I do that. I just look shell-shocked, like a kid on the fucking stage at a fucking school play. And it's just, everything's falling down around him. Yeah. That's what I literally, like, there's no,

I'd be an awful politician on that basis. I think you'd be an awful politician on a number of bases. actually, but if I might step in in your defence, you know, I think part of the reason that you're feeling so not down about it, I don't think you're down about it, but the reason it's sort of sending off in a little bit of a mini spiral is because you care so much and you want the shows to go well and you're worried about the tour and stuff like that. But the truth is, you know, people love seeing stuff getting worked out. And so, you know, the reason you're getting so upset about it is because you care so much. You'd rather be like that than just go and like

deliver a work in progress and you just go, yeah, I think that's probably good enough. Do you I mean? I was in Paddington, so I'm occupying the stage for the amount of time required. So you actually, you know, putting a bit of love into it. It's good. You know, that's part of the place. I would say that I feel very much, and you're going to feel like this to me at some point in the future. But the number of times I've said this, this, what you're saying now, to Lisa, and she sort of rolled her eyes and gone, it's every tour, Bromish. It's every or you do the work in progress and say, by the way, your camera just did a really cool Zoom thing.

Mate, I think of that. Look at this. It's like tracking me. That's amazing. Yeah. I've got that fucking new friend, don't go thing, isn't that? You've got a fucking vibe there, baby.

I look so fucking old in this. It's awful. I've got this lie above me like I'm being interrogated for a fucking murder. It's one of these hotel rooms that doesn't have a main light, so you just have to switch to... How would you think you,

how would you roll if you got fucking, if you were being interrogated for a murder that you hadn't done but it was on your road and you were the only person in your house that night? Do you want to do it? I think we should do it. I'll be obsessed to find out how that action. Just before we get into it, can we just do a regular,

regular police officer? I don't want you to come in and be like some, you know, Danny McGraw. He's been... Well, yeah, but okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, okay. All right, so do you want to start? You're in the, yeah, of course I'm going to start.

You're not going to start talking to a detective. You're not that blake. I'd fucking have you arrested again for talking to a detective for it. Is this the role play? Are you being a in real life? I'm trying, it's difficult to figure out. Okay, here we go. So you're sitting in the interrogation room.

You decided not to have a lawyer because you haven't done the murder. Okay. Well, well, well, I can't believe what I've got in front of my eyes here. Hello, Ryan. Hello, Mr. Megan, Ethan. Sorry, my name is Charlotte Crosby. Oh.

I am a police officer here. Charlotte Crosby? So do people tell you, do you get a lot of stuff about the Geordie Shorth? Yes, I get a lot of things. People talk a lap about that a lot. I get a lot of mentions on the basis that I have the same name as a reality star. Actually, sorry, I should be a bit more nervous. I'm being accused of a murder.

Sorry, let me do that. You're being a bit of a prick, if I'm honest with you. Oh. So I'm going to make a recording, if that's okay, Mr. Ragan, Nathan, about this rather suspicious predicament in which you've found yourself. Well, I've not found myself in a predicament. It's unfortunate.

Well, you have found. You have been found next to the steaming gun. Okay? It's very rare that you see a gun producing steam. What type of, is it, what is it? Is it a water pistol that's been heated up or something? Mr. Rangaynathan, I'll do the questions around here if you do the answers, please.

Just so you... Mr. Ranganathan, is this a defence mechanism? Because you've done something wrong. You're like a little dog who's done a poo in the garden but won't admit to it. I mean, you know, somebody has died. It feels a bit weird to compare it to a dog curling one out. But, okay. No, I'm not being flipping.

I'll be honestly, I'm slightly annoyed that I've been pulled in here. I'm devastated that this has happened. So you knew the deceased, Mr Biclo? Well, I saw him. Kevin Bicklow was a friend of yours, was he? You knew him. It wasn't a friend of mine, no. He lived on the right.

Oh, an enemy there, Mr. Reagan, I thought. You couldn't stand that Mr. Bigelow was more successful than you. Go in places. I mean... He was the boy that you could never be. He had the shine that you could never see. Well, there is... I mean, you're being quite binary about it, if you don't mind me saying.

Just because we're not friends, it doesn't suddenly mean that we're enemies. I would describe it as somewhere in between. So you would say you were frenemies? No. What you've done there is you've combined. them both. No, we're not frenemies. We're just, we're neighbours. Mr. Magunathan, did you see Mr. Bigelow on the day that this happened? Tuesday morning just passed? No, I didn't know. Mr. Meganathan, did you know that Mr Bigelow had been using your swimming pool for his own ends?

When you say his own ends, do you mean swimming? Yeah, swimming as such. No, I didn't know. I'd love to know where you got the information from. Well, we spoke to your wife Lisa, who called him three days in a row have a little dip in your swimming pool apparently when she told you you were furious knocked into a frenzy she said you kicked and you shouted splattered even I'm going to be honest

it's very difficult for me to and I don't know if this is usual procedure but it's very difficult for me to bend myself when you're just sort of making stuff up sort of the idea you know what I would say is the biggest revelation is if Lisa if somebody had been in Opel three days in a row

and Lisa hadn't tell me about it my immediate suspicion would not be me for murder, but her for cheating, I think. You know, she's involved. Oh, wow. So you think Mr Bigelow was having his wicked way with your wife? That dropped you into a little bit of envy, Mr. Rangor, Nathan. You're a jealous man, aren't you?

I'm not. Angry, through to the quip. Um, okay. I think going forward in interrogations, you're going to need to look up quip and when you'd use that. But I, uh, yeah, it was unfortunate phrasing by me, but no, I don't, I don't think Lisa was cheating and I'm not, and I'm not. What makes you angry, Mr. Ranganathan? What makes you sieve?

Social inequality. The ongoing levels of... Any stuff that's a little bit more based around your street and people who live on it? People who speed? No, there's no... I'll be honest with you. I'm doing all right.

There's no examples of social inequality where I live. What about those who smoke the old devil's dust? Smoked the devil's dust? You know, Mr. Dingo was a crackhead? Pardon? He was a crackhead. He was a crackhead. That's a crackhead.

That's quite confidentiality. You'll have to keep that to yourself. Why have you told me? I think you might have had to keep that to yourself. No, no, no. I wanted to see how you reacted. It was a double bluff. Well, I don't think it was even a single bluff, was it?

You've just told me the truth. Mr. Ranganathan, you seem to have got yourself with a bit of a tiz here. I think you might be projecting, Officer Crosby, if you don't mind me saying. I want to ask you a question, Mr. Vagan. Please do. And I wanted to answer straight and spirited as you can. Did you kill Mr Bigelow? Oh, no, I didn't know.

Okay, right, okay, fine. We'll see about that. Meeting adjourned. Meeting adjourned. We've been a bit stroppy. Meeting adjourned, Mr. Ranganathan. Meeting adjourned. Okay.

Is that you stopping the recording? I'm going to get you, Ranganathan. I'm going to get you, whatever it takes. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. pervert, you dirty pervert. Why am I a pervert now? And also, if I might say, if you're accusing somebody of being,

you know, if somebody's guilty of two things, being a pervert and being a murderer, I would go with the murderer if I was doing name-calling. I actually, you were pretty amazing in that. If you could keep your call in a situation like that, I could. I mean, obviously, I'm not actually being accused of murder. And I probably, in reality, I probably just confess.

Just to end the conversation. Anyway, so how's the filming going? The film has been fun. It's been beautifully fun. Yeah, it's a nice group of people. Lenny Rush is incredible. What a great guy he is. 16-year-olds, absolutely, like very, very, very inspiring guy.

Very nice to be around him. Enjoy his company. Yeah. So, yeah. What's the caterer of? This is a really disgusting. Oh, my God. I'm not even going to say what you did

just for the benefit of your ongoing kind of social standing that was horrific I'm literally I'm literally my nose I was in the worst predicament than you last one that stuff streaming out of my nose I've got a Belfast cold brother yeah you've got cold in Belfast you've not been able to shake it apparently yeah it's killing me what's the catering like on this shit

it's okay it's okay I'm going to say four or five out of ten oh really it's not amazing yeah it's the trouble with it is that you know when you I mean you were because you're not a meat eater but when you have meat

and you worry if it's cooked or not it's just got a bit of a pinkness a pink like pink sort of almost like pinky grey look to it right grey's overcoct isn't it yeah but I think yeah not with pink in it as well it means it's overcooked on the outside and not cooked enough in the inside it was a

Yeah, I sort of, when you eat meat like that, I always find you eat it and it's almost like, you know, there's a great episode of The Simpsons where Homer thinks he's going to die and he sits in this chair and he's looking out and wait for the day to break. And I'm like that with what I think is off meat and I think, oh, no, I'm going to get food poisoning. So, like, literally, I didn't, I mean, like, I had my life only months for 12 hours before something awful kicks in. Do you think that maybe you should stop, you should stop thinking like that? No, I think that is how my brain works. I know, but I would like... What I think would be better is just that it has like vegetarian food for fucking... Yeah, maybe, but let's be honest, that's not really a likely scenario.

So... I don't know, I've really got it to a falafel recently. Oh, mate. So where I'm doing the rehearsals for women in mind, there's a falafel van just by the station called falafel bros. And it's quite embarrassing because... I've started to become known as the falafel guy

amongst the cast. That's a better thing. You could be known as well. Yeah, sure. But basically, a couple of the other cast have got the falafel wrap once or twice during our rehearsals since our rehearsals started as a treat. I don't think there's been a day when I haven't got a falafel rap

since I've started doing rehearsals. Yeah, but that is your thing. That's your push-horts. That's your... I don't think they're good for you. If you're winning the poo, yeah, falafel is it all right, You're just chip peasants. It's being fried. Yeah, but fucking,

deep fried, by the way, it's as bad as everyone thinks it is. But deep frying is a bad rap against everything else. Deep frying is one of the safest ways of cooking, by the way, as long as the oil's clean and the fries are clean.

Yeah, but I'm talking about the calorie content, and also, I've now become such a regular, the guy gives me a couple of falafels to eat while I'm waiting for the wrap to be done. Wow. Mate, you're like, fucking, that's living the life, bro.

Also, you're a big, you're a big, big requirement when it comes to, like, vegan, vegetarian, like a guy like him with a small business, he gets you involved, gives you a little extra falafel here and there. You're going to obviously do a post about his business and he's spoken about it on here. He doesn't know he knows who you are.

He doesn't. He doesn't. He's flirting with you. He's doing the dance. He's not. There's no dance. There is no dance. So you're saying to me that he's giving you free falafels

because you're spending so much money in his falafels. No, but I think just every now and again, like a couple of times I've caught him in a good mood and he's got some falafels in the basket, so he goes to win a couple. Old spares. Yeah. I don't think I'm the only person he's doing that for.

But, you know. What is the situation, by the way, with lunch and theater rehearsals? How does that work? What do you mean? Like, are you all going for lunch together? No. Do you...

No. I did go for lunch for Sheridan once, but most of the time everybody kind of just goes off and does their own thing. I mean, I don't know if everyone goes off to do their own thing, Tom. Let's be honest.

They could all be going for lunch together. you know and then and then they're just sort of sitting at lunch going so we're like can we all come up with individual stories to where we were because rom's obviously going to ask when he comes with this big old footlong falafel wrap so we just everybody needs to sort of come up with plausible things that we don't know like an alibi yeah it's just one of them going you know the sad thing is i'd love a falafel rap but that's the one place you know you're going to be guaranteed to see the prick you know you come back and all right guys guess what i've got to eat a falafel wrap yeah you know me

And I've just been on a call to BT for fucking hours. Yeah, no, I've had to call my bloody phone provider as well. That's what none of us have been out. It seems like everybody seems to be having the same home issues on the different days, because you all had gas problems yesterday, didn't you? And today it's phone. Well, you're a fine one to speak, after all those falafels about gas problems. Oh, sorry, I do get a little bit windy.

It's because I think it's because I'm always getting the large and I asked for extra chilly. Yeah, well, by the way, Martin went there the other day and he'd sold out of falafels because you've been scoffing all the spare ones. Oh, it doesn't feel like you're not really veiling your disgust for me as effective as you might think. It's quite clear.

I'll describe that as an out-and-out insult, actually. Oh, sorry, I was just angry because of my BT bill. Right. What was the situation with the bill? Oh, it's more than I thought it would be. I mean, I thought it was going to be 60 pounds, but it's actually 140. Right. And how is it that you're using BT, very in mind that company has not existed for quite a while?

No, no, they do. I use them from my broadband. They run all the broadband in the whole of the country. God, you're so naive for someone who works for Sky. I don't work for Sky. Oh, you wanker. Oh, leave him alone. He's all right.

Sorry, every now. That's the little thing we got with me and the director. How is the director being with you? The director is great, yeah, really nice, yeah. You know, I've had to, he doesn't know this, but I've had to, one of the things I'm trying to do is to be a little less kind of needy. You know, one of the things that you and I are both guilty

of is constantly requiring validation of what we've just done and whatever. I'm trying to move past that as a thing and assuming that if there's a problem with what I'm doing that they're going to come and speak to me. It's no way to live that, just needing somebody to give you a pat on the head like you're a dog. It's a very human thing to do, but I'm trying to stop being like that. Yeah, I'm terrible for that.

I'm almost certainly, Tom, worse than you for that. But I'm trying to, I don't know. It's one of my areas of development, I would say. I'm trying to. I would say aside you, I think I've burnt so many bridges with my pathetic need for sort of people to say that was better than they, that, you know, that was okay, that was in a bad performance, that was not the right thing that I've done, that, yeah. It's not coming from, it's not coming from a bad place that, you know, because you want to do a

good job and you've got imposter syndrome and self-doubt like everybody has. But you are, what I've become conscious of is the fact that you are putting, uh, you're putting a pressure on them to, you know, you're giving them a job to do, essentially, which is to make you feel better about what you've just done. I actually under, fuck it. I think I, so the director, the thing I'm doing at the moment is a brilliant director called M. McDonald. She's great. And I did a scene and I sort of, she was great.

She came with some notes. She told me some stuff. You know, sort of gave me some angles on things. And then I sort of panicked a little bit that I wasn't really doing it to the best of my ability. And then she was out sort of chatting to someone else. and I walked past and said, oh, by the way, like, if I'm really shit and I'm not very good, you know, just tell me. And she was like, you know, you're not shit. And I was like, yeah, but just tell me.

If there's like, she went, I did tell you. I sort of told you, I gave you a note. And then I felt like, I went, oh, yeah, of course, yeah. And I was like, what am I doing? Like, why did I start this conversation? She's such a lovely person. And now I'm looking like such a big toe. And I was like, so basically then slipped off.

And then that evening she called me. I missed the call and then sort of called her back. frantically and she was just calling just to sort of check in on me but you know she's a really caring person so lovely but it made me really sort of think oh my god she's had to go home and sort of sit with her partner and go oh yeah oh i forgot i called tom davis because i think he's having a bit of what he did today and like her partner going oh yeah but you've been at work all day yeah but i think he's yeah or or she knows what it's like and she's She's been through that, you know, a similar situation where she's felt self-doubt

and she's thought, I'm just going to give them a little, just to give me a little bit of reassurance because that's what I, you know, that's probably what happened. Do you, how often do you think per day your shit at what you do? All day, every day, it's the truth. I think, I think, but I mean, I'm experiencing it now on the, doing the tour shows in the States and Canada. I'm trying to not be that person I think when you come on

I'm actually slightly become concerned about how boring this is but when you come off stage you're so vulnerable and you want somebody to come up and go that was really really good that's your instinct and I'm trying to not need that

you know how it went you know how you did you know you are fully across how good the show was but for some reason we need somebody to come up and even if they don't mean it doesn't matter you just need to hear the words good boy you did a really good job i'm really proud of you know what i would say that is i adore grats

grats is usually the best that grats said to me yesterday when i came off he went that it's okay we've got quite a few more of these and we'll get it it'll be it'll be great and done it's some good stuff there was some good stuff that worked you only did 50 minutes and he sort of looked quite disappointed me you know it took me back to when you're sort of playing football as a kid your dad's watching and you sort of score on a goal or sort of like boot the ball so it was like give an assist to an opposing player I was like oh god

I don't really go. I had a grass gave me some like it's such funny feedback and absolutely bang on. I was doing a gig in Exeter, a work in progress on it was a couple of tours ago and it's so stupid of me but I'd had

a few bad gigs in Exeter and my instinct is always just I just say what I'm thinking you know, on stage. And so I walked on and I said, it's normally shit when I come to Exeter. So hopefully this would be better.

Let's just see how it goes. I'm doing a work in progress. But the last two times I've come to Exeter, I've absolutely died on my ass. But let's go and then started doing it. And then after I came off stage, Graz said, maybe it's worth not saying to the people that have paid to come out and see you

that normally it's shit. and you're slightly hopeful that it won't be shit today. I said, I think he said, I think that puts you on a slight back foot. And, you know, it's a fair point. It's a very fair point. It's more than fair point. I mean, the truth is I never should have said it,

but we move. Yeah, I've done that, though. I come on stage and say, like, look, this could well be shit today because it's a work in progress. Yeah. Because I don't want people's expectations to be any higher than, you know, average.

Have you seen a new John Lewis advert, by the way? Yeah, I have, yeah. What were your thoughts? Well, I, as is the way now, I saw the reaction to the John Lewis had, but before I saw the John Lewis had it. So I think I saw Aiman Holmes saying that you thought it was awful. So that gave me a good feeling, a good inclination.

I was probably going to like it. And then I saw, I think it might have been Chris Evans or somebody talking about how amazing it was. So I'd seen two opposing views on it before I watched it. And I thought it's great. I mean, look, I think it's great. I think it does what it's supposed to do, which is, you know, I'm guessing the, not I'm guessing. The theme of it is supposed to be this guy used to go clubbing.

And then because he had kids, he didn't. And his oldest son is a typical teenager. And so it does this quite sweet thing. As a dad, the bit that I relate to so much. is your kids expressing their love in an unorthodox or slightly different way to what you might think. And I, that bit, like, did get me in the fields really because I've got three boys and as your kids get older,

they become less effusive in the way that they, you know, boys do, I'm talking about boys now, but in my experience, they become less effusive about talking about how much they, you know, if they love you and, etc. I mean, the boys will say I love you, but Theo obviously is a teenager, and so he's becoming less expressive to us. Less expressive, that's unfair, I'm being unfair on him, but he's just a teenager, he's a teenager.

He hasn't been, he hasn't shown the teenager thing of being rude to us or anything like that, which I was to my mum, and I was, like, terrible when I got to his age. But Theo hasn't demonstrated any of that. But every now and again, he'll do something, and that is his way, that is him sort of showing love for you. You know, he'll, it might be, it's not necessarily a present, but it might be,

he's usually looking a bit tired, and then he comes and starts asking you about your day in a way that you ordinary wouldn't because he's like clocked onto the fact that he, you know, he feels like it's worth unpacking your day. You know, little things like that, I guess, you know, and I related to that in terms of your kids doing something really, really lovely.

And I really love the bit where he gets the record, he connects with it his son walks in and is obviously happy with how he is enjoying the music and then his dad gives him a hug like real like heartfelt hug that bit to me really got me because i think you know he's just showing his son how much that means it's like a beautiful father-son moment you know um i feel it was nice yeah i like to i like the thought that i thought just after that it'd be quite nice to sort of see them steve into a couple grams of coke that's what i thought i would love it if They did a bit of Mandy. Just like literally through dinner, just both of them gurning. Yeah. They just in the moment where you two are nuts. Yeah, they go out that night. The only thing I'd say, because I actually, I agree. I thought it was a, if it was a very beautiful advert, I thought it for the, for what it does about sort of men showing sort of their emotions, especially father and son, because I'm, you know, I don't got a son, but, you know, me and my dad, I sometimes feel that, you know, that, those moments are sort of part, you know, sometimes passes by.

and sometimes, you know, I can think of instances where we've been like, he said something to me about being proud or, you know, he tells me, loves me or whatever, but actually those really beautiful little moments. I think quite a few of my mum, but when I was watching it, it just, yeah, it resonated. I think, I saw the hit shit it was getting, you know, not anything. My only thing with it is there is a part of me that just thinks I quite like, I suppose it's quite, and it's very well done, it's beautifully done. sometimes you just think they're sort of always quite sad those adverts.

Like, remember the one with the bear and the butt? Like, they're always, and they're like mini movies. I, if I might, like, off the counterpoint, I think that they're presented in an emotional way, but I don't think they're sad. You know, the bear and the... No, no, no, no, but I think there's, yeah, I'm sorry, there's a melancholy about them,

and sometimes it'd be nice just to see. But then I saw the Mars and Spencer's one, and that's just actually fucking shit show. Is that the Dorn French one? Yeah, yeah. The thing it's Dorn French, but it's a awful character. But I do, I do, I think, I do think, I do think, I get what you mean.

Like, I think the bit in the nightclub is, it's a bit, it's, I mean, you know, I've got a preface this by saying I'm a thick man, you know, I'm not the smartest. But it did feel a bit like, when you see him and just his son in the club, I sort of, what is the point that's being made here? I didn't get that bit. But then when, I think father-son, it's interesting you talk about your dad there because I remember, you know, my dad,

as you know, my dad went to prison and my dad did a lot of, he unintentionally, not unintentionally, unintentionally or intentionally or whatever, but hurt my mum quite badly in terms of the way you conducted himself. And after my mum and dad, like, reconciled. and we had to rebuild our relationship

and I saw probably the best of my dad in the way that he interacted with Theo when Theo was very little I saw my dad being really loving to his grandkids and it was an amazing thing but I remember for my dad's 60th he carried a sense of failure in fact I'd say it's fair to say that he had imposter syndrome about being a dad and husband

after everything that happened and when he came back into our lives, well not come back into our lives, but when he wanted to reconcile and he and mum had some really great years before he passed away. But I think he carried that with him that he had let us all down and that didn't, I thought it had gone, but it hadn't gone. And the moment that I realized it, it hadn't gone, is on his 60th birthday. I wrote in his birthday card, you were an amazing dad and I love you so much and I'm so glad that. I'm so glad that. that you're my, I'm so glad that I've got a dad like you. And he opened the card and he struggled to not just start crying immediately.

And he actually said to me, is that what you really think about me? And I remember that moment, it felt like he had suddenly got this sort of validation that he need, not validation, but reassurance that we still loved him. You know, I feel like he felt like that he just sort of let us down in such. a bad way and that we just thought bad of him after that. And I didn't. You know, he's a flawed individual. We're all flawed. It's, it's horrible when you find out your, when you first find out that your parents are not perfect. It's a difficult thing. And I found out my dad wasn't perfect in a really drastic way, in a relatively drastic way. But anyway, the reason

I tell that long story, an arguably uninteresting one, is that... Do you know what? I was about to say that it was actually kind of beautiful here, isn't it? I think it's like that honesty and you know you sort of saying that I've yeah I sometimes feel like as a son like that's I've lacked that I've lacked moments of like I think it's very interesting

you know we probably go deeper than we we would but like I remember like not even that long ago I remember like you know Grace was born I remember sitting with Catherine and my dad and my mum and my mum I was talking about work or something

and my mum said oh you don't know how many nights I just lay awake crying just thinking what's he going to do with his life what's he going to do because you were just you didn't ever sort of feel like you know you were laboring you felt like you were just never you're floating you you know and she said yeah as a kid that's a worry and then it wasn't really until that moment I quite realized that how much stress undue stress that I put my my mom my dad and my sister through you know and Catherine to an extent I think I think that's a sort of, and listen to you talk about your dad like that,

I guess, resonates a bit that, you know, you want to hear those things because... Yeah, anyway, the point is, is you're right, and the point is, is that when I watch the advert, it's slightly tapping into those, it's unlocking those feelings. The real big argument is, does it make me more likely to shop at John Lewis? And the answer to that is no. Yeah, I mean, that was kind of my point. My point was, if they were like, you know, come and get, like, fucking, I don't know, some crockery. If they were doing two for one on Alice and Limerick, that makes sense.

You know? Yeah, but that's not really their job anymore, is it? They're there to get everyone. It's an event. It's an event. But also, I'd say that John Lewis isn't what it used to be anyway. Like, when you go, no, no, no, but when you go to John, I love John Lewis, by the way. We have family days out. I like the little cafe.

Where's your nearest John Lewis? I'm not really going to say because people fucking Yeah, no, you're right People might wait at the John Lewis on the off chance that you go in You're absolutely right Well done for being on top of security

You know, You know, speaking of what's nearest, which I talked about was the nearest one to us. It was an insane thing to say. I'd actually say it's one of the more controversial things it turns out of said. Arguably, it's one of the most ridiculous things you've ever said. Yeah, a lot of people have said to me, how could it possibly be the Streatham one that you went to? Yeah, when you read Hill was literally, and also they would immerse them more sort of. I don't, look, all I'm telling you, look, I don't know. By the way,

I was a guy who I know every McDonald's because I used to know the closing times. Sure, but do you know the years in which those McDonald's are open? What I'm asking is, Do you know that when I was 10 years old, there was a McDonald's immersed them? No, I pretty much definitely knew that there was one in Red Hill and there was one in Sutton. I'd have stayed my house on it.

There was one in Red Hill when I was 10 years old? Without doubt. I mean, I was saying that you're like five years old on me, so maybe not. Okay. Please don't do it. Because you're like Donald Trump here. You keep saying stuff enough

so that it becomes truth. I think, I would almost guarantee that McDonald's in Red Hill was open when you were 10. Right, well, in that case, I don't know what's going on. It's quite a quick train ride from Crawley to Red Hill. You're there. Well, my mum and dad used to once, I can't remember how frequently we did it,

but once every now and again, we would all jump in the car and drive to Streatham, McDonald's, sit in and eat. I don't know what to say to you. To be fair, that's kind of nice. That's kind of nice. Yeah, I mean, my dad used to do the old thing

of driving down some quiet roads and then slow down and then go, oh no, I didn't. we run out of petrol what are we going to do and then we go oh my god dad's dad's only getting and then he carried on it was his favorite little thing to do he loved it my dad used to do the turbo where you just sort of he pressed a button and go oh god we need to get down and he just put his foot down really quickly and just sort of yeah my dad did this thing where it's like i'm thinking about seeing another woman and leaving you behind as a family and we're like oh dad dad but it turns out he really he really committed to that bit

Oh, bless, bless. But anyway, the John Lewis advert's great. I've not seen the, I've seen the M&S one as well. But the MNS one, I tell you what I do like about the M&S one is it makes you feel Christmassy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it does. But then I'd argue it's on too early, but it's that Christmasy.

Everyone's Christmasy now. How Christmasy is it? Where are you? Not Christmasy at all where I am. Actually, that's a lie. The hotel here is fully, that I'm in now is fully decked. Not fully decked out, but when you come in to the reception,

they've got a big tree and stuff like that. And then we went to the hotel bar last night and had somebody on the piano. There was like baubles around the bar and stuff. It did feel quite Christmassy, actually. In fact, it feels very Christmassy. Oh, it's lovely. Oh, it's lovely.

Beautiful. Yeah. I did two shows in Toronto. Do you know that you're not supposed to? I got this message from people that came to the show. You're not supposed to pronounce a second tea in Toronto. So it's Toronto. It's Toronto.

No, it's Toronto. That's pretty cool. I don't know if that was a Canadian thing, but I think apparently Toronto sounds jarring. I suppose to say Toronto. The fact that I've said any of this out loud is as much of a mystery to me as it is to you, by the way. Yeah, Toronto, that's what a podcast is, baby.

It's learning. Yeah, that's true. Would you like to do a couple of emails before we're riding off into the sunset? Hit me with some beauty. Okay. Dear Wolf, Al, Cat and Swan, Romney and Tommy, what can I say? This is from the Woeful Woodlaus. Whoa. Rom me and Tommy, what can I say?

My wife, the sleepy sloth and I've been enjoying the podcast for years and regaling together about what happened on the latest episode has become the very bedrock of our marriage. Wow. Okay. Well, that's amazing. My favourite memories, which incidentally are probably some of your worst, include the wolf holding his girlfriend's handbag while she went on the rides, then being abandoned while her whilst getting beaten up outside a petrol station. the masseuse who rode on his back like an excited jockey or tales of the Al's many fashion highlights through the years

I'm sure you look pretty flying your bandana period rum we're recently at the live show in Newcastle and I have to say on behalf of the whole city and Betty Featherston it was an amazing show and we hope you'll come back again with regards to Betty Featherston it's very much if you know you know on that one those of that were at the Newcastle show will they know exactly what we're talking about

get off Becky Featherstone Billy Feths That's a lovely email. What a beautiful... It's not finished. Oh, okay. Anyway, on to my question. I was recently listening to Rom's sidepiece podcast, the Romish Rang and Aethon Show.

And during an EDF energy ad read, couldn't help notice that he employed the Wolf's trademark ROM impression voice when saying, can he plug an EV into a normal socket? So hearing that, I'm wondering how much of the sweet EDF person will be winging its way to the Wolf's bank account due to creative licensing considerations? And do you plan to employ it on any future commercial endeavours? Thanks again for the laugh

All the best of you Sweet, sweet souls Well, this is quite sure I don't know what the legalities of this are First of all I didn't really I actually did I've got to hold my hands up here I did realise that had happened

after I'd done it Yeah, but also it's me doing your voice So I sort of like lawyer-wise I haven't really got much Who owns the creative behind Somebody doing an impression of somebody? I don't know I mean the impression is very

Like I'd be devastated if I wouldn't be able to do that impression So I'd sort of And also I actually think You've started doing the impression question if as well it's not better than I do it now because you really commit to it with the sort of well the other thing I'd say is that when you did um Rick and Morty yeah what didn't you do didn't you do that voice for Rick and Morty yeah I did yeah it was kind of yeah so actually the the stronger question I would say or the more more pertinent question is am I owed some of your Rick and also you I could counter at that was saying you've done my whole voice for the fucking chicken run too is essentially you know That's, no, well, I refute that. My God.

Can I say, by the way, it's like, we were at a garden tent the other day, and they had, do you know, are they doing toys of those rats? I think so, yeah. I know that there's a video game. I've just done a thing for the video game. So I'm sure they're toys, but Grace saw this rat, and she went, oh, Uncle Romish, Uncle Romish, because she loves that chicken run too. And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's not quite, yeah.

I'm not sure if that's the actual rat, but then she's sort of like, oh, then she was cuddling it. I was like, I don't know if you want a toy rat to sort of house, but she's got one now that she calls Ramesh. She's got a toy rat that she calls Ramesh. No, it's like the one from Chicken Munt. It looks like your character's from chicken Munt. Okay.

Does it definitely, or she just got pointed at a rat and said that's Uncle Ramesh? No, no, no, it's like, it looks like your character. Because you sort of talk to her about my kind of behaviour and my general demeanour, and now it's like a thing in your house that if somebody does something ratty, It's actually... No, no, no, it's...

Mate, I was like, fucking hell. I hope he's getting to pay for this because at least three kids were holding them. You were like literally like sort of catnip. I don't think I didn't negotiate percentage points

on any... Really? I mean, first of all, yeah, of course not. It's a massive blockbusting film that, mate. Yeah, but nobody's buying... First of all, I didn't come up with the character.

Second of all, somebody else voiced it before I did it in the first film. Yeah, because it's not your image, is it? No. Who did it in the first film? I know Grace seems to think it is my character. image. Who did them in the first film? Timothy Spall did and Nick the rat in the first one. Oh wow, okay. Wow, that's, they're big fucking shoes to fill. Timothy spools are legend.

Well, they're tiny actually, rats, rats feet there. No, I think we've been terrific. Waka, waka, waka. Spola. But listen, I'm more than happy for you to sort of, to do that voice whenever you need, likewise. Okay, should we do one more email? Yes, do it, my rather. I really like worried about my complexion. What's wrong with you? What are you getting so? I look like a tomato. It looked like I'm about to explode.

Hmm. So only something's like I've got any air going to through my nose. That's just fucking. Hi, Wolf and Al. This is from... I'm actually going to leave this... I'm actually going to leave this on us. But...

Okay. Yeah. Hoping you'd be interested in talking about the subject. Dealing with raising teenagers in a digital native culture. I'm a barely tolerated parent of two teenagers. I just published my first book as an unknown author. It provides an honest and grinned. insight into the relentlessly hurtful year, raising two very different yet similar teenage boys.

It covers the daily events with humour that is at times amusing, suspenseful and endearing. So there we go. We've got a little book plug there. I hold a great love for my children who no longer wish to assume their role in my life, referring an abrupt advancement to adulthood. That while hard to expect, is essentially inevitable. Oh, this is quite. You'll be horrified to know that I called out off-menu as a sanity-saving resource in the acknowledgments in my book. I'm really confused as to why we've got email.

about this, to goodness, but hopefully we're more pleased to know that both your interviews with Ed and James were amongst my favourites, which I've listened to more than once, so that's good, so it's not really a fan of this podcast. No, it's just the other one that but does quite like our appearances on one that they prefer, so that's nice. I thought if you took a look at my book,

you might spark some podcast content on the harrowing reality of raising teenagers that your listeners might enjoy and you discuss with humour. The book is called 1512. Love the podcast. Probably the ages of the boys, I'd imagine. Rob.

Fucking hell. You are sharp today, aren't you? What time is it over there in the UK? It is. 3pm, baby. Okay. Well, that's pretty impressive stuff from you. Well, first of all, I think that what's actually happened here is,

and first of all, congratulations on your book. But I would say that we're probably the third favorite podcast for this book to be mentioned on. I think what's clear is that you love off-menu. secondly you're talking about parenting so parenting hell and what's happened is is you've probably sent it to all three neither of them have read them out

because they've got a lot more on and you've I was about to say you've lucked out you've had the diminished honour of being referred to on the Wolf and Our podcast I think this might be I think this might be spam actually

I think this might be book promoting spam because Tom you know Tom you've not got a teenage kid have you so it's quite tricky for us to I mean neither of Rob and Josh actually and actually neither of James and Ed so in fact I'm the only one involved in the whole making so she could have just fucking DM'd you on Instagram for any kind of absolutely yeah and she might have done I'm so uh ill-disciplined in checking my DM so she might have done it's possible but look you know what I would say is while we're not going to get into an in-depth discussion about raising teenagers in a digital native culture I will tackle two of the things that you said.

First of all, congratulations on having a book. That's an amazing thing. Wow, that's amazing stuff. I've got nothing but respect for anybody that takes something that they've felt. And also, you've done like, what, six books now? Four. Four? Okay.

Hmm. So I'm still struggling with one. Yeah, but when is your book coming out, by the way? Probably 2035. Okay, well, look forward to that. I wonder if there'll still be books by the time you bring yours out. I've got, it's the thing when we're talking about

that is the thing I have the least amount of confidence in we've talked about this very privately but it's the thing that makes me weep I'm like this is an absolute crock of shit

and like I don't even know what it is yeah it's like literally taking a horse into a market and saying that you've got a cow for sale that's how I feel about this book okay well

everyone else who's involved involved in this once a cow, but I've only got a horse, and no one knows what to do with this horse. I feel completely, yeah. And so now I've just got a horse. I'm sort of like, just walking around with thinking, oh, this is, you know, I actually feel sorry for the horse, should have a better owner. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's, it's, it's gone on for a sufficient amount of time that it's difficult for me to know what this analogy means, essentially. But what I would say is if you were, if you are walking into writing your first book feeling

alt supremely confident about what you're creating, then you're suffering from a level of delusion that I can't even, that that needs tackling. So the fact that you are having doubts about it is actually pretty healthy. I won't worry about it. Worry about it the healthy amount is what I would say. The other thing I would say is,

look, you've written a book on this, so you're much more of an expert than I am. But I hold a great love for my children who no longer wish to assume their role in my life, preferring an abrupt advancement to adulthood, while hard to expect is essentially inevitable. If I could, if I might offer some advice, I think life as a parent becomes a lot easier

when you stop assuming that your children have any job to do for you. They don't. You know, I think you brought the, you bring these kids up and then you react to however they respond and they don't really have a job to do. Your kids don't really have a job to do.

Obviously you want them to be polite to you and considerate. But in my opinion, I think that expecting your kids to offer some sort of role in your life is only going to lead to misery. I think it's, you know, your kids are your kids. You brought these humans up. You bring them up as well as you can. And then the reward that they give you is going on to be great adults. You know, that's, I think expecting anything else from them is arguably you're in a hiding to nothing really.

And then when they do do something really lovely or they do. do decide to take a role in your life going forward. It's a, what a lovely thing, you know? Beautiful thing. But, you know, I don't know. I've not written a book. Okay. Tom, while I kind of deal with the fact that I think I've been more earnest

than I possibly would have liked on this episode, why don't you... You know what? You've been incredible on this one. This is one of my favorite versions of Rome. The earnest Ron. I love it. More so than Party, Ron?

No, I mean, nothing's better than party. wrong. What about Red Bull Rom? Both those two are absolutely fucking McAvely and Luff Potts. I think we should do another t-shirt. You know we had the T-shirt with all the versions of Rom? And then there's one where it's just me like this. Ernest Rom. Yeah.

Ernest Rom. There you go. That's the Ernest Rom. Like Tony Robbins. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right, Tomo. Okay. Take us out, my Jew. That sky. Looking nice, baby. Looking good.

Chill in the air. laughing, joking, adults tucking in to mold wine. Nay, hot chocolate. There's a little bit of cream on that. Marshmallows, sir? I think so. It's funny, isn't it? Community coming together.

What for? Just to look in the sky and see the whiz bangs, the pops, the bangs. The fireworks. All about the fireworks going on below. Family squabbling and arguing. friends falling out teachers raging at a parent who's not returned a letter or an email

truth of the matter is it's easy to look up at the sky and marvel at those lights that noise it's hard to look down amongst you and go that's a firework in itself but the truth of that is maybe I'm wrong maybe the fireworks aren't the argument

maybe they're the moments of joy the yelps the shouts that I've got it you scored a goal well don't Bradley I love you dad truth of it is fireworks an amazing thing but yet we talk about them like they're bad I like fireworks

I love them but more on fireworks I enjoy joy have a good one friends really really nice Tom thank you so much it was it was an interesting kind of strategy you took with that one. It was, yeah, it was, yeah, it was, yeah, it was, well, look, you've done it.

So, JT, could you please take us out with a little bit of Kendrick Lamar? I was re-listened to this album, it's 11 years old this album, Tipumba Butterfly. It's well worth your time, but the song King Cunter, please can we play that. And thank you so much for listening to The Wall for now. We really appreciate it. Thank you, friends. Thank you. Really love you.

care of yourselves and each other. Stay well. Bye-bye. If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all, please email us at wulfalpod at gmail.com. That's wolf alpod at gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you, mainly because we don't have any content ideas. Thank you.