Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 48: Celebrity Warhammer & A Birthday Cake Calamity

Episode Date: December 3, 2025

We’re talking… Drake and Kim Kardashian playing Dungeons & Dragons, Henry Cavill’s Warhammer obsession, stressful Lego builds, The Simpsons and Friends golden eras, Back To The Future on the What Went Wrong podcast, Sloth from the Goonies, Forrest Gump in Philadelphia, Grace’s big birthday party, a unicorn cake disaster, Tom Fletcher’s songs for the Paddington musical, a Royal Variety Performance, the brilliant Nick Helm and winter work-out struggles. For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Commissions fees and expenses may apply. Read the funds or ETF's prospectus before investing. Funds and ETFs are not guaranteed. Their values change and past performance may not be repeated. Yo, yeah, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred, they'll grant you all last request to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts get severed and served. Bring your weak shit, where the wolf and owl are.

That ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows. Have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill. dark enough to turn the sun to the moon you'll see nothing all your ears a huffer puff and a expect killings red spilling and flesh ripping

impressive in it the death bringing his head spinning just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog hello and welcome to the what you do what are you going on my god for the woman's voice who does this this meeting is being recorded is completely changed oh yeah that's true yeah I didn't notice that Yeah, before she was like, this meeting is being recorded. And now she's like, this meeting is being recorded.

Would you like to have the meeting? I would like it recorded. You got like a kind of like, that's like Kim Kardashian when she's on kind of. The vocal fry. Yeah. There's no point. There's no point doing a zim. if it's not being recorded.

I record amazems. Welcome to the wolf and owl. Did you see, by the way, did you see that Drake and Kim Kardashian apparently have been like friends of benefits for years? Have they?

Apparently, yeah. That's one of the eggiest fucks in the industry, isn't it? Kim Kardashian would want to be called an eggy fuck. Because of being like Drake's backstage team is like, I'm going to call Aggie. Oh, they'll fucking hit up Aggie, see what she's up to. Oh, man, you're still tapping Eggie?

It must be weird, isn't it? It must be weird, like, because Kim Kardashian is, and Drake, for each of them. The other one is so, so, I mean, obviously, you know, Kim Kardashian's been with, Yay, who was married to it. But, you know, like, there's such massive names. It must feel weird to go, oh, I'm going to go and see if I could. I'm on a promise with Kim Kardashian. I'm on a promise with Drizzy.

Isn't it as well? Like two people are so, so attractive and cool. Do you think the conversation's like stilted? Or do you think that they really just... I'd like to think that when they close the hotel room door, Drake's like, oh my God, we're going to fuck. You know, just... Should we get out, let's get out, guess who?

You know? And Kim's just like, fuck guess who. Let's get it. down the business. I'd love the idea that they get into the mood by playing battleships. Yeah. A really long game of risk. Yeah. And they really get into

or what I would really love is Dungeons and Dragons. This Kim Kardashian going, you're in the words. There's an or carrying an axe. You've got three spells. Which one do you? She's actually got

Drake saved in her phone as Warhammer and it's not for the, like everyone thinks it's like some fucking like lay the war hammer on me Henry Cavill's obsessed with Warhammer anyway apparently yeah I love I love seeing Henry Cavill

suddenly be asked a question to do with that world and then he just gives his fucking insanely detailed answer I absolutely love it it's so kind of a mad thing actually like there's quite a few of these Hollywood but like maybe that's where me and you are lacking we could probably get into Hollywood better if we

I don't think the reason that you and I are not in Hollywood better is because of our lack of knowledge of Warhammer if that's the theory you're about to put forward. I'm just saying, right, Ron, Ron. You're going for a big film, right? You're going into a movie and you're Henry Cavill's in it, right? Yeah.

I'd say you've got a subsequently better chance to get in if he's involved in production and if you go into the room and you're like sorry, I'm a little bit all over with the lines. I was up all now playing bloody Warhammer last night. One of my orcs got taken down by a flurry of dwarf elflings.

I mean, as little as I know, I don't know if dwarf elflings is a thing, is it? I mean, there must be. I don't know what the, look, let's get into it. I don't know what the genetic compatibility is of a dwarf and elf. Have you ever played anything like Warhammer or? No. I wanted to, I used to like, when I was a kid,

I liked the imagery of it. There was a magazine, I don't know if it still exists called White Dwarf. And it had, like, I learned of that. Yeah, and it would always be in gamleys, right? You could buy it in gamlis, and it would have like... Wow, gamleys as well. Yeah, yeah. So they're on the...

Yeah, big shout of gamleys. Huge shout of gamleys. And on the cover, they'd always have like some battle scene. And then I remember once I bought it, because I was like, maybe this is... I don't know why, I just thought, oh, this looks cool. And then it's just loads of pictures of people sort of with a tiny paintbrush painting and fucking painting the grass on the base of an orc statue or whatever.

And then you go, God, this isn't what I think. thought it was. And then that kind of put me out because I didn't realize you had to be into like the figurines and all that shit. Yeah, the figurines

are a big thing. Yeah, I tried, I tried at one point painting the American Civil War figurines and just got really bored with it. Yeah.

So, yeah. I do enjoy the TikToks where they take you through the steps of like they'll have like a few bits of shit and then, you know, the constituent parts of like a figure then you see them putting together.

Then they paint them, then they put them, a hairdryer on it, then they like fart on it through talcum powder and then that adds an effect and then they roll it in fucking Bisk off and then they put another layer of paint and at the end of it it's turned into some incredible realistic thing. Like there's something very addictive about watching. Yeah, it's incredible watching anyone like that with that sort of creative sort of like Nouse. Yeah. And also I know my fingers are just too big and too heavy. Yeah. And also there I get too. No dexterity here. No, me neither. And I get nervous

that right at the end of it, I'll be like just finishing him off. and then my brush slips and I give him a Hitler tash or something like that by mistake or something terrible happens I paint over the design I've put on his chest of shield or something like if you're doing like I don't know like the sort of silver surfer you sort of get a little bit heavy-handed yeah sort of ends up being green yeah yeah I mean I used to really frustrate when I was putting like helping the they're not into it now thank God although I am about to embark on putting together a Lego Simpson's house But I've literally spent this morning doing Lego Blue with Grace.

Oh, right, yeah. So I don't know if you have this, but as Grace gets older, I don't know how complicated the ones are she's on at the moment. But they get more complex. And for a while, the boys were like super into the Star Wars Lego stuff. Yeah, that's up end. Yeah. And then you'd be in the middle, like you'd be so far into making something.

And then you're trying to force a piece on. And then your hand slips and you just smash the last seven sections of what you've done to fucking pieces. The strength of will it takes to not just headbutt the fucking wall in front of your child. It is insane.

You have to like, because you don't want to, you're so nervous about pushing on your psychological issues to your child that it smashes to pieces and then you go, that's fine, that's fine.

It was fun putting it together. It was fun, wasn't it? So what's really good about this is we're having, we're having the fun all over again. Oh, then Lisa's in the background going, Romash, Romash, there's a vein coming from your next.

again. Romash, we talked about the angry voice. You're gritting your teeth. You don't realize it, but you're gritting your teeth again, my love. My love. You're holding Luke Skywalker so tight, he's turned to Play-Doh. Has Homer Simpson got a tummy, by the way, on Lego? I think, I don't think I've looked at Homer Simpson, but yeah. He must do, right? Well, just, yeah, I hope so. The only chart I've got, we're doing the blueie and all the figures are the same size. Oh, right, yeah. And maybe he hasn't, actually. Maybe he hasn't. maybe hasn't. That makes sense. What you just said, it does

make sense that they were just... Like, Lego hasn't, like Lego, just everyone is exactly the same sort of body proportions. Which is kind of cool, I guess, in a way. It is kind of cool because, you know, we're not defined by our bodies, are we, I guess? No, no, but I do think... And we're the true exponents of that. We've never agonised over it on this

book. No, no. But then I look it in to think with, like, Marge and Homer, there's a golfing difference between the two of them in so many different ways, but I've actually started getting back into Simpsons. I watched the Flaming Mo episode this week. I felt a bit down. It's one of the greatest episodes of anything ever written.

I love that song. Yeah, the Flaming My episode's good. I like the monorail episode. I'm a big fan of that episode. Yeah. I do think it went through like an amazing patch, right? Where I was watching it. I remember watching it years ago thinking

this is the best television I've ever seen. Was it like some people say three till nine, isn't it? Maybe, yeah. But I just remember watching it going, I can't believe how funny this is. I can't believe how funny this is. clever this is. Yeah.

It's just incredible. And then, you know, with anything like that, you're watching it. And then it starts to wane because you're so in love with it. You don't notice. And so you're watching it. And then one day you go, I'm not enjoying this as much as I normally. Like, what's going? And then you think, then you start blaming yourself.

Like, maybe I'm tired. I remember the first I went to watch Phantom Menace. And midway through the film, I had like an epiphany going, oh, this is shit. This is fucking shit. I didn't realize. I thought that maybe I've come into this in a bad move. but actually, no, some Gungans are fighting some droids and looks like it could be made on a fucking Xbox.

No, actually, I hate this film. But that's what happened to you with The Simpsons. I don't know with Family Guy as well. Family guy, me and Catherine were obsessed with, obsessed. And then it just drifted away, which is devastating because those characters become like Friends. They really do. Another program, which I was upset.

Yeah, Friends is another one, which is, yeah, God, yeah, don't get me started on Friends. I think, actually, weirdly, Friends gets better towards the end. I would, no, no, no, no, it does. I would like, there's a sweet spot in the middle and then there's a later bit where actually, if they were doing it in reality, Joey would have had some sort of intervention because he clearly had a fucking mental episode.

The guy, I mean, that, what, that, you know the episode where he tries to speak French and he's going blear, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That, right, he needs to be institutionalised or something, you know, what the fuck. That episode should be like, Jesus Christ, I think there's something seriously fucking wrong with Joey. Also, I always think that,

Joey and Rachel with a couple that I wanted to see. Well, that's just so superficial if it is because they were the two hottest ones. No, no, no, but I think they'd have got on better. Why? I think they're sweeter together. Ross, look, Ross is one of the funniest things in Friends. He's hilarious.

He's probably the best, probably pound for pound the funniest character in Friends. Is that fair to say? Do you know the, you know the rumours as well that he upset the writers, so they just put him through loads of indignifying stuff for his character? They're made it. Yeah, it was counterplagic.

Yeah, it was kind of... And then he sort of homophobic paleontologist beforehand, and then by the end of it, he was... Actually had a bit of nouse about him. He's very much like that in real life as well when you... They were straight up with him. Oh, did you? Oh, of course you did.

Yeah, yeah. He carried that Ross vibe. I called him Ross to try and get inside his head for the whole episode. What was your best hoped outcome out of calling him Ross? Well, that he'd get annoyed and he'd sort of like... He came with a very serious... is battle plan that guy. I've never seen anyone so fucking, like Xeroxed in to just...

Well, a lot of times that's a good thing, isn't it? Yeah. I think, because if you try really hard, you're either going to nail it, or you fuck it up, but you've tried really hard. That's funny. Not trying and fucking up is... I tried hard on that, but also I tried harder to just think... You made a toilet, didn't you?

Yeah, yeah. Which merely beat Ross, to be fair. Yeah. It would have been familiarity, wouldn't it? It comes in with a battle plan and somebody beats him with a shitter. Literally, little poo-rangs that I put in it. It's still a good show. I like Friends.

I really want to get Grace into The Simpsons. I'm just at what age you and I can start showing her the Simpsons. She's four and come up to four. Well, I mean, Simpsons is one of those shows, isn't it, where it sort of operates on a couple of levels. Yeah. She might be right. There's bright colours as well.

Yeah. Yeah. I always worry that she'll watch it and just think Homer's too much like me in some ways. Yeah, that's possible. It's possible. I mean, that's the reason that home is such a great character, right? Because all of his least appealing traits are incredibly relatable. Yeah.

It's a bit like you and Ned Flanders. It's great. Do you know what? It's now that I've got this fucking Tash, man, I swear to God, every time I take a photo, I just think, fucking out. It's Nadine Flanders. I look so Flanders, eh? It's weird as it, because they're like,

atmospheric is almost now completely, they're very like. Yeah, well, I've got to now have one. for the play, because the play's set in the 80s. So that's why I've gone full. I have had a sort of tash, but it's been kind of, I've tried to do it kind of stylish and short and trimmed, whereas now I've gone full 80s bushel. Yeah, I like it.

I think, yes, this is the best version. Do you know what? I always say it looks sick with a cap. I look like a psychopath if I haven't got a cap. If I've got a bald head in this tash, I look. Well, I keep, I mean, I keep, whenever there's a radio T video or something from me doing the show, there'll be some comment, like, why does Romish look like a 70s porn star?

There's always, I don't think there's been a single video where that hasn't been mentioned. We've had emails into Woolf and now saying, as anybody noticed, that Rommish is morphing into Ned Flanders? It's really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

It's not the sexiest thing. I don't know how, I've not really... Ned Fathers had a buff body, don't you remember? Yeah, but I've got Ned Flander's head, but my body. You've got Ned Flander's head and Moschis lax body. Oh, anyway, but I do like The Simpsons. It's good. There's a new film coming out, isn't there?

Yeah, that's why I'm thinking about getting back into it, just so I can sort of ride the world. Because otherwise you're worried you won't have to follow the story. Who's this? Who's the... So who's the lady with a blue air? She's in reference. I don't get what's going on here?

Rob, Rob. Yeah, I'm down four rows down. Tom, I don't want to sit with you. Yeah, what is this character, mate? Fuck, sake. There's an episode... There's an episode where they've done recently where Marge dies, isn't there?

Really? Yeah. I can't watch that. I can't watch that. Well, she's not actually dead, I don't... I mean, she is dead in the episode, but they... I've not watched it, by the way, so I'm speaking... I'm purely speculating, but apparently it's

like a flash-forward or something like that. They're very inventive of that with their storytelling. Mm, yeah. Well, you know, it's a big prediction thing, isn't they? I can't be bothered to get into because I'm not doing it's a pretty amazing. Yeah. I love Krusty the clown. He's just got some fucking great in it.

Christy the clown reminds me, it's so much of me. You know, whenever he makes a decision for sort of corporate reasons, I think, oh, God. I'm just the guy. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Welcome to Judge Krusty. Hey, hey. Isn't the guy, like, sort of like, he's a sex addict as well?

He's got a crusty. They could have done a great spin-off for Krusty, just like his dark life outside of his children's show. It would have been sick. I mean, he's the Joker, right? Yeah, he is the Joker. Yeah. There would have been a great,

there would have been a great Wacking Phoenix, Krusty the Clown movie. Yeah, and then there'd have been a follow-up that was shit. Smashing one, you know, like having a threesome with Marge's sisters. Oh, God. Pat and Selma. Yeah, smashing the fuck out of Barney Gunther.

I think I grew up with Patty and Selma. I'd tell you, you know, a pair of girls that I grew up with her, literally the spit of Patty and Selma. They've grown more and more like Patty and Selma as time it's gone on. Well, you know, that's the other thing is, now when you're watching TV shows and films and stuff like that, when you know like when you were younger like i i was watching um back to the future which is not one of the greatest films ever made and um you know i remember when i was a kid

and you know he lifts the he breaks the um grocery cart and turns it into a skateboard and he's like running away from bifton and all that and i remember thinking fucking hell i might not fly so cool i wish i was might even fly i think i'm now older than i must be older than dot Emmett Brown now. No, you are. We'd be Emmett Brown's. No, he's pretty older. You'd be, yeah, you'd be... We're around there, we're hovering around there, right? We'd be the guy that's going,

why is that fucking old man keep... You'd be like, yeah, yeah. You know, um, you know, it's a mad thing that the dad in, uh, back to the future, the guy who plays his dad, George, uh, he wasn't be in a second movie. Uh, so he got a look-alike and see, like,

CGI. Yeah, I know that. Do you know the, um, the reason for that is because he kicked off about the ending of the first film. Do you know of this? Yeah. Yeah. Did you find that out from the What Went Wrong podcast?

Yeah, I did. Yeah, I was interested in it. It's probably the best of my favourite podcast. Are you just into it? It's better than Wool for now. In fact, I would say, I would say right now. Well, the basis, it basically has two experts and a fucking incredible iron glad.

Yeah, you've got, you've got two experts that have got an actual format who've researched it versus two fucking idiots vaguely trying to remember shit that's happened to them over the last few days and relaying that. Can I say, by the way, I was kind of hoping you hadn't heard or listened to it so I might be able to lean into the fact that I knew some facts about a film. Go on, no, let's pretend, let's pretend, no, but let's pretend I'm not, yeah, what were you going to say? Well, no, should we do it like that? I've not listened to the back to the future one. Have you? Should we do it like they do it? Okay, go on. So you've got to invite me in to say that

I'm talking about what we're talking about. Okay, so welcome to Wolf and out. And, um, oh, God, man. And, well, it's an interesting one today because, listen, we've covered a lot of great movies, but today, I think, is probably, probably, this one I would say is in my top five of any that we've ever done. I think it might be your favorite movie. Well, let's, why don't we see how this goes, and maybe at the end of it, I'll revise my position. So, Tom, what is it you're going to be talking about with us today? Oh, Rom. Okay, look, I hadn't seen this movie for ages. And then I put it out.

It holds up, right? It holds up. Some of it, some of it's quite, I don't know. Some of it actually is a little creepy and weird. We'll get into that later. Oh, no, we'll get into that later. Let's get into that later. But I do think as a proviso, what I would say is with some of these films, and this is no different, with some of these films, you have to put aside some of your 2025 expectations and values, right?

I get it. I mean, don't get me fucking started on the limits. That's what I was going to say. Okay. Is that what it's like? I don't remember. You did a completely different podcast, but you're still annoyingly interrupting. no that's what one of them does

they follow up almost like a sound like so give us your back to the future facts in place okay so first fact oh no sorry sorry let's do this properly so Tom what film are we exploring

today well Ram I'm going to take you back to the future and talk to you about a motion picture back to the future very very smoothly done Sure. Great. So, no, look, we all know, everybody loves this movie. Great movie. Great movie. We'll talk about that later. I want to firstly talk about, I mean...

Oh, sorry. Can I just stop you, Tom? You got a little bit of smut on your flux capacitor. Oh, for definite. Sure. Oh, that's great. Oh, thank you. Love it. No, go, go on. Go on. Go on. So, firstly, there was another actor, and I can't remember his name. Who's going to play Michael J. Fox? Yeah, Eric Schultz. Who was going to play Marty McFleck. Yeah, he's worried.

You've come in and you asked to introduce the film, but immediately, you don't know one of the main kind of stories about it. Also, Dustin Hoffman was going to be in this movie. Is that right? Is that right? Yeah, like every movie. That would have been cool. That would be...

I could see Dustin Hoffman. Yeah, I could see him. And, you know, every movie that we've covered, since motion picture and talkies have been the thing, allegedly Dustin Hoffman at some point was going to be in that movie. Yeah. So, yeah. So the film starts cameras rolling in 1980, maybe.

Have you... Sorry, Tom. Just one second. Are you... Are you actually okay to talk about this because... I'm going to be honest with you. I haven't done the research that this entails. I know that there's a character called Doc Brown.

Yeah. There's a character of Marty McFly and George McFly. We need to sort of deliver information that's not readily available within 10 seconds of Googling the movie, you know? I know that Beth Tannen is. a character and at one point he wasn't bad but he was good i think that might just not be true no i don't i don't think there's any point in that in the film where they suggest that in fact he's quite one note actually well anyway the character of bif tannan a lot of people think is the also the big brother at home alone but he isn't so that's that's well that's that's not quite a fact

there you got it's so hard imagine if we had to do something like this I assume we do some fucking basic reading I mean obviously

you can't freestyle it based on the shit that you thought you fucking thought that guy was Biff Tannen in Home Alone the timeline doesn't fucking work

at all by the way what's that oh yeah of course yeah maybe it's like his own course though yeah to the fact is

Bifth And the guy, the kid from home alone, one of his mates, they look a little bit of light. That's your fact. Yeah, but they've both got that sort of like military flat top. Yeah, okay, they've got the same haircut, cool. Have you heard the, you know the guy that plays Biff Tannen? Have you seen his Back to the Future song? Yeah, it's amazing.

Incredible. Yeah. He lived off that, he didn't really do much else after that, right? No, he did like three movies. I mean, I don't know, you know, depending on what deal he, again, we're just speculating. but I don't think he would have got back end off of that Biff Tannen doesn't get back end off back to the future No I don't know he might have taken points on him

I was feel sorry for him and the guy who played Sloth in the Goonies that there wasn't like a sort of a sloth felt like he could have had like a spin-off sort of like him going to live Would Sloth have had a spin-off? Well him going to live at Chunks House I always thought there's a bit that we never really got into it like that's the most of the sort of sounds like a copy of Bigfoot and the Henderson's

Yeah no yeah it could have probably been sort of that or anything really but yeah but also he had the sort of fact that he's brought up in sort of gangland sort of like they'd had to go to witness protection to get away from the Fratellis what do they ever give you do they ever give you what the the back stories for the sloth no not really I don't think it was much good yeah I think he was he had superhuman strength right yeah yeah yeah he's a strong guy yeah also he was quite compassionate and nice but I like the fact that he'd gone to live a trunk family who actually seemed like quite a nice sweet family and then see actually like him going to get a proper job and sort of yeah but then

the fatally to get out break out of prison and they're going to come and hunt him down so he didn't witness protection yeah i just think something like that could you know they're doing a sequel yeah i hope sloth it won't be the same actor by the way because he's dead now the guy who plays sloth i suppose out of everyone he's the one that yeah because he's obviously wears their sort of mask and stuff unless he looked like that which would be terrible for him Awesome. Yeah, yeah. You're the guy who plays slough?

No, I'm not. That isn't me. It looked like him, but that isn't me. I'm literally the same. I don't think, I mean, obviously, RIP, the guy that plays sloth, I don't even know his name. He was the American football, I think, of quite, no, some note.

But, you know, I don't want to see a Gooney sequel, really. No, what are they all doing there anyway? I also don't know who that. I mean, I guess it's for us, but... I think it was well like Ralph. Yeah, but it could be quite dark because Ralph the mouth, you know, he just felt like he'd never get his life together,

and he was a sweet guy with all the best intentions. What was the name of the kid with all the gadgets? Data. Data, yeah. Data, of course, is in everything, anything, or all of the things. Yeah. Josh Brolyan's obviously got to have an incredible career as a brother.

And then you've got Frodo's mate who's Mikey in it. Yeah. What do you reckon we're up there with what went wrong in terms of the... Maybe we've got to go some. It's really sad that basically it would take us such. a lot, so much effort and organisation to get to where they are. But also, they have to be shitter than they are now in order to be able to do our podcast.

Yeah, but they do have notes and stuff. Yeah, I know. Yeah, but I don't think it's within our, I don't think it's within our fucking, the realms of the possibility that we don't have. Yeah, yeah, I'd pretty much arguably just do what we're doing right now. Hmm. And sort of, like, that's how my dad watches films.

Yeah. He still struggles to know that Tom Hanks is not Forrest Gump. What do you mean? Well, his performance was so convincing in that movie. But if he turns around and, say, for example, you go, oh, great. I saw a fucking great movie the other day. And I was like, what film do you see? Captain Phillips, fucking amazing film.

He's got Forrest Gump in it. That's how he, you know, that's how he's played the film. Do you must find it amazing that Captain, like Tom, that Forrest Gump was able to sort of play that, emotional scene right at the end, but he's crying after the examination or whatever. Yeah, but also, it doesn't feel out of sort of Forrest Gump's wheelhouse to be Captain Philly. So end up being a captain, yeah, I mean, it would be cool if it was part of the same universe. And actually, you know, when you see all the pictures of Forrest Gump, like with the president and stuff,

there's one of him sort of taken on Somalians on a ship. Yeah, yeah, or him landing a plane, you know, because Tom Hanks played that big pilot. Yeah, or him being sort of a... If you know, if you break it down, that, like, Forrest Gump could have, done all the stuff that fucking talk all the other characters Tom Hanksford yeah yeah like maybe arguably i'd so the do you might be probably the truth woodie's probably tricky yeah actually even Philadelphia i think could have been him for us gum but obviously that has been the end of you know what i mean yeah and do spoiler alert

but obviously the end of that movie's very sad yeah it's not really a spoiler is it oh no insane if you haven't seen it you go watch over the christmas holidays probably I would say, actually, if I was sitting down to think, when is the best time to settle down and watch Philadelphia? I don't think it would be sort of... It's one of my favourite ever movies. Yeah, sure, but it's not a mid to late December, put the fire on and tuck into a mince pile

watching Philadelphia, is it? It's heartbreaking. I still think you're back. I'm a bit of a pallet cleanser after that. What do you fancy? Should you get shit, put Shinn as this on? Yeah, right. Get that on. Tom Hanks isn't in that, is he?

He is, he's right in the background on one of the scenes, yeah. Playing Goebles. Go wolves Anyway how have you been It's been enough and damn week It's been great We had Grace's birthday party at the house yesterday Which was an insane thing

To have 50 old guests at the house 50? It was insane Like kids and parents I get that about 50 Yeah it was mad I'm a concert, you know, people coming and going throughout the day. Sure.

Throughout the whole day? Yeah, it was not a start at 11. People turned up at half 10 and it went on to people left the house at about half six, seven. That's, I mean, I'm sorry, but that's on you and Kat there. No, no, it is, yeah. I mean, yeah. It's a very, it was a very, hosting it at your house, essentially now, I'm like the house is, there's cake pops that have been trod so hard into the floor.

and they've almost become grout. It's like it's, you know. Did you go big on the catering? I imagine you did. Well, this is where there's a bone of contention, Rob. Okay. I had one big job through this, right? I sort of took it upon myself,

but I was like, I want to organise the birthday cake, the centrepiece of everything. Sure, sure. I would be in charge of getting the cake. Catherine was like, okay, I was very, very excited to sort of be getting, what my daughter would probably, the first cake that she ever remembers, right?

So I got in touch with a person who will go on named, and you'll see why it was his story unfolds, who has a reputation for making incredible cakes, right? Seeing the work, always that's good. So I get in touch. Straight away, I know this isn't Sean Coughlin, because I can tell this. I should have gone with Sean Coughlin.

I wish I had. Yeah, my... You don't know anybody that is involved in baking cakes. The reason I went with this one, it was far away from where I'm working film was. while I'm filming. Now I'm thinking about Sean Crawford with him better

because my mum and dad live like five minutes from a shop. And it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. We all make mistakes. No, this is the mistake that I'm going to live. I'm very much in a lot.

Yeah, it could have derailed the whole birthday. This is what I asked for. I'm saying along these lines. Can you see that? Yeah, so that's sort of like a princess fairy ton of cake thing, right?

With a sort of unicorn horn at the top of it. Yeah, right? Don't know, sort of, yeah, cupcakes on the top of it. Yeah, got it. This is what arrives. it's nice it's nice

yeah what's wrong with it whatever one there's nothing like the cake we'd order no let's get that out of the way it's nothing like the cake

you ask at all it's nothing yeah yeah don't give me wrong but also the colour palette is actually all I mean I think that pitch is actually

far more competition just just for people listening it looks like a Halloween it looks like a Halloween cake you've asked You've ordered a cake with blues and pinks and yellows.

And what you've got is a cake with oranges and browns. I find it insane that I'm at a place in my life. There was a theme, unicorn theme, for the birthday. Yeah, I was very clear to the baker that it was a unicorn thing. So talk me through that. So when did you order this cake? Like two weeks ago. Two weeks ago.

And what did you say? What was the specification of them? It's my daughter's birthday. You know, we're having a unicorn-themed birthday part. it'd be amazing to have a cake made, like a bespoke cake made for this. And where did you get that original photo from? Reddit. I'm not Reddit.

I was the one you get pictures on. God, my brain's gone. I don't know. Pinterest? Pinterest? Yeah, there we go. So this isn't a... And I'd run it past caffeine.

And me and Catherine had discussed it. I'm like, this is what I'm going for. You're getting a bit aggy now, as you tell this story. No, no, no, because... No, but I'm just saying as a friend, you're just getting a little bit... Okay? Anyway, go on. It's very triggering because...

So I wasn't, like the cake gets delivered, right? And I wasn't there, right? Okay. So I get a picture of the cake from Catherine. Sure. And what's the caption with the picture? Is this what you asked for? No, it is, I don't think there's even a caption.

I don't think it needed. Oh, that's even worse. Looks nothing like what we wanted. Can you send me her number? Oh, God. So she's taking this, she's actually taking this job off you? Yeah. I said, oh my God, this looks completely different.

I said, what's the rest of it look like? And then she just goes quiet on that, yeah. And then basically, the reason she's gone quiet is because she's partly blaming you. I don't know, she must have to be blaming it. And then basically what Catherine did, because Catherine's very incredible at these things, is Catherine then says, I'm just going to have to bake a cake myself and then bakes a cake that looks a lot better than the one that we paid a decent amount of money to have a bespoke cake made for a fucking four years of,

which the con in the cat of pake. I mean, look, if you don't, if you don't remember me saying, there's a lot to unpack here generally. But let's deal with the one issue that we're dealing with here, which is that the cake didn't look like the one. I wanted a nice cake because she'd asked for a unicorn

and we, to be fair, we could have just thrown a unicorn on top of the cake, yeah, which is one of the end of it. You could have just got a regular cake and put a toy unicorn on it and she wouldn't know very different. But anyway, I was, you know what? You're buying 50 people around and you wanted to show off to the neighbours, I get it.

I think it's more of the fact that, and not to make you feel like a piece of, I feel very fucking guilty for the fact I've been away from the house for two weeks and I feel like... I don't feel... It's actually not... It might have surprised you to know.

It's not made me feel bad at all. But anyway, go on. I felt very gutted that I'd not been around. And I thought I'll make it up to a buy-buying or getting a really nice cake. Which will make... To be fair, she didn't really care about either of the cakes. I know about the boys, but when there's presents around us,

all she really cared about is open presents every 25 seconds. Yeah. And just go through... Anyway, the cake, then... became a massive joke because katherine had told people about how bad the cake was i tried to hide the cake uh and then my mom who was drunk uh found it um where did you put it i i plugged it away in one of our in another room where you no one should have gone in it was just you know so my mom's found it she's coming she nearly dropped it where she was so drunk um which actually had done me a favor

and then people start i said look you know yeah it doesn't look what i'd ask for i still think it looks okay in the photo it looks quite nice yeah yeah and then there's a pole I mean it's just not at all what we wanted and then people tried to say cake and that's when another battery came because it tasted disgusting it was absolutely vulgar

it was like it tasted like someone said it has a consistency of cheese and tastes like off biscuits oh that sounds alright it was just not a good look So now I think I've got one in what down and one in the hole I need to really open like for next year. I need to be back on it really. Well, I mean, you know, first of all, if you were sending this email in, I'd love to profy you some advice if that's okay.

Hit me some advice. The first thing I would say is the idea of I understand the reasons for you wanting to get a nice birthday cake for your daughter because you've been away. and I understand that it's a totally normal human reaction and I myself have been you know not guilty of that but I have been you know somebody who's trying to compensate

for being away with work but you know I think there's an argument that you should be kind to yourself the reason that you're away is because you're trying to provide for your you know for your family and so you shouldn't feel a guilt what you should you know if you're feeling bad

about being away then that's something you need to think about going forward in terms of how you achieve a work life balance but you certainly shouldn't be turning up thinking I've got to compensate for that you're a great dad you do wonderful things the way you talk about your daughter is beautiful the way you devote your time to your door is beautiful so don't ever feel like you know she's very lucky to have you she won't realize she is because kids aren't supposed to they're not supposed to walk around going oh my god I've been so

blessed with these parents that's not that's not what they're supposed to do so you know first of all I'd say that the second thing is like you tried you tried to get a nice cake and it didn't work out. And at the end of the day, did Grace turn around to you and say, that cake was horrible, it's ruined my birthday? No, but quite a lot of the people who tried it said, but they're irrelevant. They're irrelevant. Yeah. No, no, no. And you know what? She had an amazing birthday. There you go. So, so you wanted your daughter to have an amazing birthday, and she has had an amazing birthday. So actually, you're experiencing disappointment for something that you don't need to. She had a great time. By the way,

I should say that this is like a prelude, because it's not her birthday to the 14th of December, but the way that the nursery works... Fuck-illing hell. No, can I just say that the way that the nursery has worked is there's... We got in really late with when to have the birthday party. So, I don't know if you've had this situation

where it seems like everybody's fucking got a birthday and they blocked him weekends. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we've... Actually, do you know what? I said fucking hell. We've done exactly the same. And then you're like, oh, shit.

Like, we need to give her a birthday party. but so-and-so is locked in that weekend that is a weekend of her birthday and someone else is locked in that weekend so the only available weekend was this one so she thinks that she's four because we've tried to explain so that she isn't but she's had a birthday party

and we're like no because we didn't get in quick enough on your actual birthday so you're actually she's not gonna you can't expect us to understand the demise of a nursery she now walks around like she's four telling people that she's a four year old which is a well she's not drinking or anything

an issue. No, no, but she started smoking. Okay. What are you going to do? I mean, she's only a couple of weeks early, to be fair to her. It is a bizarre thing. By the way, the woman with the cake, I messaged was very polite. I was like, this isn't what I'd have asked for. And she was like, I don't copy other people's designs. Yeah. And I was like, I get that, I understand that completely, that's fine. But this is nothing. Like, I was quite clear about it

being a unicorn party. And was it. Can I just see Can I just see the picture of the cake again, please? Do you mind? I've got to be honest with you. I think you've been given a needlessly hard time about this. I mean, the cheese biscuit thing I can't really comment on. Hmm. I mean, I would say my biggest issue there is that I can't see anything unicorny about that cake.

Versus that. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, ironically, the first one you're showing me looks easier to do. Yeah, that's what I thought. And also, just, yeah, banging unicorns. on it. But when you see out close, it does look like it was left over from Halloween. There's like, well, look, wasn't it? Waste not, want not. Oh yeah, I mean, it has been wasted. I mean,

unless I eat it all, because I'm the only person who's sort of feasibly at the moment. Have you tried it? Yeah, I've tried it. Yeah. I tried. I ate. And how was it? It was disgusting. But I was eating it to say, well, you're right. But no, no, sorry, I think you've got yourself into a bit of a narrative bit. No cake is disgusting. Oh, it wasn't disgusting. It's very hard to have a... Cakes are not disgusting. They might be mid.

There might be a bit shit. Okay. It was low and mid. It was low and mid. No, let me just say the texture of a cake, right? If you, like, it was very unfluffy. It was very sort of like solid. It was a heavy old bit of cake.

So it's a dense crumb. Yeah, hence the comparison to cutting cheese. Okay. Right. And then flavour-wise, it just, it just tastes it a bit. Yeah. I'll tell you, like, if you had it, side by side with a calling the caterpillar.

And this is, I think the calling the catapel. I mean the inceptual bit of cake, calling the caterpillar. You're not taste fast colling the caterpillar, isn't it? Well, up against this cake, it, you can absolutely smashed it. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Mm. How are you, my brother? How are you, my G? Oh, um, I am pretty good. I've taken to doing a little few pranks. I actually... Oh, wow.

Who on? Well, I've got a baker friend that was doing a kid's birthday. No, I'm just here. No, I'm really good, man. I'm trying to think... I've been working on the play, rehearsing the play. You want to hear a shout-out, by the way,

because it's nearly sold out like the play. There are tickets to fly there. I've got no idea. I've got no idea. But a woman in mind at the Duke of York's Theatre. Previews start... Oh, my God, a week tomorrow. No, is it a week tomorrow?

Maybe, yeah. No, two weeks, two weeks, two weeks. The 18, a week of year. And then, and then the actual thing starts in January. We go through to whenever, then we do a week in Glasgow, week in Sunderland. But, yeah, that's been really good fun. I went to see Nick Helm last night. Helmo.

Oh, actually, sorry, before we let any of that, I went to, I did the Radio 2 show yesterday. Tom Fletcher was in. Oh, he's lovely. Yeah, he's written all the songs for the Paddington musical. Yeah, yeah, I saw him at The Royal Variety. And, well, first of all, I think I'm almost certainly going to say that musical. I mean, it sounds weird. Yeah, I mean, I saw a bit of it at the Royal Variety, and it was...

I had to follow it, by the way. It was the Paddington musical Ripping the Room apart, and they're the hot ladling of Tom Davis crap. Well, I can give you an insight into a raw variety, Tom. Where when Rob Beckett and I were hosting, I was asked to do four minutes of stand-up. to cover the stage people deconstructing and putting up some scaffolding

for the next act. So I sort of delivered four minutes of stand-up over some sort of drilling and some wood sort of being falling down and getting lifted. And I've got to be honest with you, I think if they'd have taken away the stand-up and just had the sounds of the drilling and stuff,

it would have had a better gig. Tom Fletcher, by the way, he opened for Pallington, and he was really lovely young man. Is it a precise? but it did make me think about I then started talking to the team and it made me very proud

because I always get this line wrong but I talked about the fact that Paddington 2 I think is one of the greatest films of all time and I'm not just saying that because you were in it but isn't it, what is it your line when you're looking at the...

Do you remember what the line is when you're looking at it? Yeah, yeah, what is it? Yeah, good luck little bear. Good luck little bear. Oh, mate, come on! It's so good. That bit's so good.

Good. Anyway, we started to talk about that. Then we went for the, there we went to our team Christmas lunch. Wow. Well, that's it, baby. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what, because of the play. It was meant I can't, I can't do it any later than that. So, and we went to Tom Carriage's Bar and Grill at the Corinthians. Your favourite is. Beautiful. Lovely place. Delightful. Really good. Three courses of vegan fun for me. They had steak and stuff. We're really good. Really good. Then, finally, after that, I went to see, oh no, actually I did a couple of podcasts, and then I went to see Nick Helm, live in concert. He is, he's an incredible act to go and watch live, right? Yeah, well, I'm slightly loath to sort of big him up on the podcast at the moment because his tour's just finished. I went to see the last night of the tour, I think it was done.

But it was amazing, like really good. You know, like, and I hope you don't mind me saying this, but, you know, I'll stand up, even though you and I've got different, well, we've got similar humans in some way, bit different in other way in terms of our stand-up is not it's not the same is it but it is the same in terms of like ostensibly

yeah it's kind of Nick Helms just like what the fuck is that man it's like something it's completely well he's just all he's always been like that yeah yeah it's amazing man so brave and like he like I remember

like first seeing him fucking so many years ago and just been blown away by like the energy that he just bring to when he said gig and also just the choices he'd make creatively to sort of push the envelope it sort of made me feel very lazy every time that I'd then pick up a microphone and go oh hello oh yeah I mean there's a place for that and look I loved your seat routine from back in the day but I just think it's like you watch him and he's like he's very difficult to very difficult to follow why did you just

throw a ball across the room like some you know what you look like you know in the middle of a film or a guy sort of reminiscing about how good things are then he skims the stint. That's how I felt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the energy with which he threw there. And he looks across the line. I love a life. Good life? Yeah, you know what? I think it has.

It's all good standards. Well, the best end is to a stand-up show I've ever seen. Yeah, that was fucking incredible. That was an idiot. Bler blew my mind. Katie, can you cut all that out? Don't. Don't, Jette. Keep it. But yeah, apart from that, I've been good.

I've been really good, man. Although, one of the things that I've got a little bit of problem with, and I think it's like the dropping temperature or something like that, my eating is out of control now, man. I am in deep, deep shit. I mean, as I speak to you now, Lisa, the Swan, is putting together one of her infamous Sunday roast, right? I've already eaten so much food, bro.

Like, what you're supposed to do is pace yourself and then know that you've got this big meal coming down the road. Just fucking relax a bit. You're getting ready to hibernate, mate. Yeah, but I'm not going to hibernate. This is what I'm saying. Yeah, but the cold is, kill it. Your cold is just popping away at your energy stores.

So you need that shit to get through a day, baby. I'm nervous, man. I am eating like a fucking animal. Are you working? You know, since I've been doing this job, I've worked out twice. Yeah, it's, I find it really hard because obviously, like, I find the rehearsing for the play really, tough and I know that your sitcom's quite

not challenging but you know any sitcoms yeah but um and then you think I've got to you and I both sort of people that need to exercise in order to stay on top of our kind of mental but then when you get up so I'm leaving a maybe quarter to eight in the morning to go to work right to go and do these rehearsals for this play

and I'm trying to get up but it's cold and so in order for me to get up and then also have time to get ready I'm probably looking at getting up just before six o'clock in, right, to fit a workout in. And then a couple of times, I've planned to do it. I've gone to bed thinking I'm going to do it, right? Yeah, that's okay.

And then I've woke up in the morning, I've gone, I'll fuck that. I'm just going to have another hour in bed. And then I get up feeling terrible about it. I just go into work, feeling really guilty about the fact I've already had a failure for the day. And you shouldn't think of that. It's the wrong way to do you know what? I'm getting picked up every morning at 6.30.

So this week I was like, you know what? I felt quite, you know, I was going to talk about mental health and me and you talked privately about her heads. And I've struggled, been struggling a bit here and there. So I was like, you know what, one of the things, I'm going to get up on Monday. I'll get picked up at 6.30. So I'll get up at half five and do a workout in my room. I got up at half five, did a workout for 40 minutes.

So you did it? Yeah. No, but this is the thing. And then I've got like a very, very boring thing. You know, you picked up at 6.30, film and. day finishes at seven o'clock in the evening, right? By half four, I'm fucked. I know, that's a problem.

That's the problem. You're done? Yeah, I'm like, and I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm, you know, I think people are soon filming, filming certain things up, man, certain things you do, it's very easy. And then other stuff. League of their own, for example. I wouldn't describe that as a challenging day.

No, it's, yeah, it's great, but this is, this is a lot of dialogue and it's very, very, the pressure of it is where, I mean, that it's, I mean, fucking loving it. It's one of my favorite jobs I've done, but it's a push, right? So you get to that time.

And then I decided to do it on Tuesday because then I thought, maybe I'll just get up at quarter, like quarter to, and then just do a sort of 25 minute one. And it felt the same. So then I'm like, I just need, and then you've got prioritised sleep. It's a fucking insane, yeah.

Yeah, I had that. I worked out, I got up, and the Swan very kindly got up with me and joined me for a workout. So we had a little workout together. and then I got into work and then I was sat watching one of the other scenes being rehearsed

knowing that I was up next I barely, I was barely awake and fucking they called me over and I've got to suddenly shake myself into the room and it's so counterproductive because then I'm hot like I've eaten

like I've trained so then I'm hungry I'm filming in the cold so I then eat like fucking biscuits do you know what annoys me is like you sort of see these like um uh like hear these like junior doctors and like nurses and stuff like they're all banging on about how you know teachers banging on how tough they've got it you just sort of think what you know like i tell you what try fucking doing a play

rehearsal and not being sure whether you should work out or not and you know overeating slightly in your lunch breaks try that well overreaching would would be would be being kind. I've been... No, when I say over-eating slightly, I mean, overeating slightly for a hippopotamus. Similar diets. Smashing whole fucking watermelas and pumpkins down my fucking throat.

See, but that's healthy. I'm eating like four bags of walkers in this thing. There's a place next door to my... Next door to the thing that does, like, loads of vegan treats is just disgusting. Oh, wow. That's almost something to pick that for you, especially, then. Well, no, I don't think

they did. It was just a unhappy coincidence, But it's been an absolute disaster. Anyway, luckily, the rest of today will be essentially me gorging myself. It's a point where Lisa looks across and says, are you okay? A lot of people, Ramesh, after a roast dinner, stay conscious. I know you do it differently. I don't need a hug today. Hog it out.

Right, Tomo, it's about that time, my gee. Would you like to wrap the ting up? Yo, friends, loved ones, what is baseball? Home runs. Wow, incredible. Free throws. Yeah, you got it. Looking for the stars, sometimes hitting them, hitting the base.

I got this. No, you don't. I cut you out. Adulation, moments of free spirits. But in the end, it comes down to something bigger. Comes down to being a member of a team. That's where I fall apart. Sometimes, that the name goes, a wharf, a lone one at that.

Sometimes you need to be bit, something, something bigger. Sometimes you need the warm consolidation of a few team members going, hey, we've got you, we know what you're about. Hey, you can do this. Hey, we've got you. I guess that's the thing. Sometimes in life, it's good to walk alone. There's lonely footsteps across the sand.

And other times, it's pretty great to look back across the sand and seen that you've been running with a whole group of people that you needed that time. Life can change. Seasons flutter from one to another. Autumn becomes winter, winter becomes greener. You know how it works. My point is this. Yeah, sometimes you need some time.

Just a little bit of quietness. A little break from the noise. But sometimes you need the noise. So what I'm saying is check in on yourself. Don't be concerned that when you need the noise, you need to go and ask for it. But also, don't be too worried if at times you need the quiet

to ask for that too. Go well, friends. Be good. And remember, you're loved. Really nice. By the way, I know that a lot of people say that sometimes I pick really hard hip-hop tunes.

I'm about to do that right now. There's a group called Clips. The Clips? Clips. And it's not the clips, it's clips. and they just put an out of my while ago called Let God Sort Them Out It's just amazing But I was looking through like some playlist

And there's a song That Pusha T and Malice from Clips did With Labyrinth You know Labyrinth you did Earth Foy? Yes Yeah I was my favourite song ever Beneath you're beautiful

So crispy It's called I pray for you So JT can you play us out With a little bit of that Thank you so much For listening to The Wool for now It actually was For you

An Hour episode For us about an hour and a half Because I've got to be honest with you, some of the pre-chats on the Wolf and Al are, you know what we should do? We should start recording those. Then one day, when we're ready to bring this to an end, we should get to collapse. I've got very exciting news that I haven't, that Tom and I've been talking about that I'm going to deliver to you now. Next week's episode is an email special. So, if you want your email read out on this podcast, Wolfelpod at gmail.com, we are doing nothing, but,

I'll be that'll be a little bit of pre-chat, probably, it'll probably going for about an hour and then we'll have to close it off again. But the intention is to do an email special. If you've got a problem, you want some advice, you want to tell a funny story, you want to give us some feedback, whatever it is,

Wolfowopod at gmail.com, and we will creed. Badda boom. Okay. Thanks, guys. Love you. Ovovo. Ova.

Rarely, do you see the Phoenix rhymes from the ashes? Lightning struck twice on four classics. Self-preservation. We separate ourselves from the plastic The ankle of my sweat's still elastic Still do gymnastics At home still forever young Then I'm a somersault backwards

Through these chapters Land in the soft white Cook it till it's all white They question in my score card Hold it to a torchlight If you have a problem, opinion, feedback or anything at all please email us at wolf alpod at gmail.com.

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