Wolf and Owl - S4 Ep 50: Live Tour Highlights Pt 1 - Glasgow

Episode Date: December 17, 2025

Yes that’s right - it’s the first of two shows featuring highlights from the Wolf & Owl Live Tour. And first up, it’s The Pavilion Theatre in Glasgow! Amongst all the on-stage antics, there’s chat about Scotch eggs and French kissing, a rowdy fox in Tom’s back garden, the problems of having people over for dinner and making a new American friend after the show. Thanks to the amazing people of Glasgow for making it such a special night! Recorded on 18th Oct 2025 Part 2 will be coming to you on New Years Eve… For questions or comments, please email us at [e-mail] - we’d love to hear from you. Instagram - @wolfowlpod TikTok - @wolfowlpodcast YouTube - www.youtube.com/WolfandOwlPodcast Merch & Mailing List - https://wolfandowlpod.com A Mighty Ranga Production For sales and sponsorship enquiries: [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo, yeah, what do you want, beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's preferred, they'll grant you all last request to steady your nerves, then podcast the body parts get severed and serped. Bring your weak shit, wear the wall for now, that ain't just a mistake, that's an awful howler. Both of them are known to pull up at your shows, have the crowd witnessing a murder like they rolled in with a gang of crows. Fuck their censorship, let them see the whole thing. They stay dressed to kill, never sheep's clothing Dark enough to turn the sun to the moon You'll see nothing All your ears are huffer puff and a

Expect killings, red spilling and flesh ripping Impressive in it The death bringing its head spinning Just kidding every word in his song About two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog Glasgow Animal Park Are you ready?

Then make some noise For the wolf And the AIA! Yes, Grasgo! Yes, friends. Hello, hello, hello, hello, thank you. Yes, Glasgow! Love it.

Thank you, Glasgow. Thank you so much, Glasgow. Such an over-the-top response for what we are about to deliver. Thank you so much for coming out. We appreciate it. Listen, Glasgow's the fucking best city in the world, mate. Oh, we love it.

We are welcome. Some people turning up late, how are you doing? No, it's all right. We'll wait. Um, what, have you got, um, what, have you got three beers? Is that how shit you think this is going to be? You just got fucking properly get on it. Anyway, thank you so much for coming out.

Have you listened to The Wolfan Hour before? People give me a noise? Has anybody not listened to the podcast before? Okay, you're about to have a shit time. I just want to be clear. I just want to be absolutely crystal clear. We love doing the podcast, and we love you guys for loving the podcast. But objectively speaking, it is shit.

So what we're slightly nervous about is if you don't know the podcast and you're thinking, oh, so excited for the show to start, it started. Like, this is about as good as it's going to get. Thank you so much for coming. It means a lot to us. We are now going to do an official sit down. Thank you so much. Beautiful.

Yeah, lovely. Great, great, great, great. How are you? Very good. Yeah, yeah. Good to see you after all these hours. Well, we came up in different transport today to sort of try and make it different that we'd give, we'd have something, well, not because you obviously were late.

You're okay? I feel really, that, the, this was what I need. You struggled even to say that sentence. Which is a worry when I've got to do this for an hour and a half now. No, I'm not silly by how beautiful the people of Glasgow are. had a such a cheap so cheap

so cheap that's not a shock okay yeah I'm a thirsty piece of shit everyone listen to the podcast is aware of that yeah got the train up today with Rob Percy

Rob the DJ incredible makes some noise from Rob Robb did a what made a big move on the train which really unsettled a few people what was it he pulled out a scotch egg

from where from his pocket if he pulled it from inside him then that's weird no but it's a strange thing it's a in a very busy train it's quite a big move to pull out of scotch egg quite a smelly scotch egg

and devour it because they're quite a funny thing to eat as well do you have a vegan scotch egg do I have a vegan scotch egg no it's not on you now we have the vegan equivalent is sort of a breadcrumbed asparagus I don't know what they do

I think they do do a vegan one with like soy oil and shit they're shit man you put everything vegan shit like no no look I know we're in Glasgow

and I know the stereotype but are there any vegans in there we go nice thank you what's it like are you like fucking endangered up here do you have to be careful

to not identify ourselves so I mean Glasgow's great for vegan food, right? It's amazing! It's had a lovely falafel, that was beautiful. I had a great falafel, yeah. Tom is very considerate about eating with a vegan. About 10 minutes ago, he ate a whole chicken in front of me. And while he was eating it, he said, I'm not really enjoying this, this is fucking, this is fucking, this is fucking, this is fucking horrible.

This is so disgusting as he was licking out its asshole. It was, it was horrible in the whole of it. I did not. I did not. Go easy, would you, with that thing? Well, he was fucking, he was better making out with it. He had his top off and he was like, I didn't want to get any grease on me. He was like drumstick in his nipples. I didn't do that, but I didn't want to get any grease on me.

So I'd take the top off. Yeah. Just beating on his chest. Oh, fucking chicken. Anyway, sorry, so Rob got a scotch egg out. So Rob gets his scotch egg. It kicks off a bit of a wharf. and look I hope

doesn't mind me so he's got a peculiar so he bites a bit of a hole in the egg and then he took like in the meat the meat wrapping of the egg and then he tried to sort of with his tongue get the egg out is that true he was digging around in it for that

it's like he was practicing kissing and may I say by the way he has a lucky wife I would say I've seen some French kissing in my time but he has a beautiful technique oh mate one of the things that Rob loves to do is he boils an egg and gets his wife to pop it in her mouth

and then there's like a little treasure huh yeah yeah when's a lot do you do you French kiss the cat yeah like Christmas birthdays and every other Valentine's

so next year we've got a French kiss booked in No, we, I think, like, yeah, if we get quite crazy... What do you mean? What does that mean? I don't know. Like, she's had a few drinks. I've eaten a whole chicken. I've had a pizza and a Chinese takeaway. I'm high on MSG, yeah, then we'll have a French...

I wish we French kiss more. You know what's really... This is embarrassing to say. Can I just sorry, just before... Just, I mean, it's quite a mixed range of people in here. Just by way of a cheer, who is still French kissing their partner? Okay, so it's quite popular. You horny little fucks. Are you, you and Lisa French kissing?

I honestly think, look, I just want to be absolutely crystal cool, because I know a lot of times, you know, male comics in particular will start going my wife. I love Lisa so much. I know you do. I really love her. But we are at the stage where if we were kissing and I sort of went to put my tongue in her mouth, she would go, what the fuck are you doing? I do think that. So you've like regressed into a place where you're sort of 13 again. I think, to be honest

of you, I do think, I don't know if anyone else in this situation, I do think Lisa still fancies me, but sometimes she gets nervous that I'm getting over-excited. Do you know what I mean? So sometimes she'll like, she'll like cuddle up to me on the sofa and then I go to a kiss and she'd be like, no, no, no, no, no, that's not what this means. We're just having a little cuddle Don't get your dick out You know, this is, that's not what's happening Fucking hell

We're going to do it Then we turn off below deck And I'm going to fucking Trust me Once I get Go to bed See I'll get the other two Take me in bed

Once I slap this into action We're going to have A hell of a time Yeah she gets nervous That I'm going to get carried away I think Really? Yeah and I understand it

You know You're a very sexual person as well My favourite Tom is the Tom that finds himself really funny Why do you think I'm a sexual person You are a sexual person I would say this by the way everyone The moustache A sign of someone who's confident

Sexual prowess is definitely coming through It's such an ambitious and confident move I actually salute you for that If I could stand Thank you If I could stand at your front door every day when you went to work and go, go get him, sir. You're often outside, Monsort.

Got a flag, you've got some red paint, you've just come from a roundabout. All over my knees. Keep podcast English. Anyway, the point is, I very rarely French kiss. Since Brexit. It's Brexit, yeah. I'd love to, though. Do you think there should be, like, a club that you could meet up with?

Like, like, light-minded souls, you all just get together on French kids. It's not relationships or affairs, just, like, people like you. I see, like, you might go and play, it might be Bridge Club. Yeah, like Paddle, but you all just French kiss. Yeah. It's an interesting theory. See, Elise, just off to French kissing club. love, have a good one. Not jealous at all, no, can't think of anything worse. I'm not,

I'm not saying this for comic effects. I think she would support that. I honestly, I think she'd be like, I mean, at least he's not trying to tongue me. What a horrible way of phrasing kit. Your French kissing kit. Your French kissing kit. Your t-shirt and your shorts. Thanks, darling. Oh, God. It's very difficult to, I sort of, you know, like when you were younger and you were sort of, I mean I say dating, I didn't really date, but like, you know, you know moving in for a kiss is a difficult thing. And then you think to yourself, when you're in a relationship, it won't be as bad, but it is pretty bad. Yeah. So Catherine wants to go, oh, God, this is awful, I don't want to say this.

Because sometimes I forget, it's just, yeah, there's people here, um, Catherine said after about two years of being together, she was like, like, you haven't got to be so keen. And bearing in mind, Catherine's six years younger than me. She went, and sometimes you can be a little stabby with your kissing. Relax more and less keenness. Basically, yeah, I was like a footballer who was sort of got a yellow card with my first touch. I had to sort of, yeah, take it back. So you were stabbing her with your tongue?

I would, like, yeah, I'd say that. Can you just show me sort of open mouth now, how, like, imagine there was an invisible cat in front of you? How would you do it? Well, weirdly, this is how I'm doing most of my kissing now. What's your? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Glasgow.

I'll be waiting in the alley next door. I'm going to be a walkabout after and I'm not faster anyone will do. Yeah, afterwards, one of the things we like to do is just wait outside and we do photos and tongue kiss anybody that wants like a bit of tongue action. Show me your star? You are more, yeah. Wow. That's, that's, you wouldn't have seen, but actually if you see quite closely, it's really tiny movement. I can do an impression of Lisa.

We've got a recent problem, actually, talking about sort of, we've got a fox who's moved into our back garden. Yeah, that seems, well, great segue. No, no, no, but this is, this is, but the fox is quite, he's actually having a lot more luck. It's a weird thing to be jealous of a fox, but since he's moved into the back garden... He's been tongue-kissing your wife.

We're an awful thing. My wife's having an affair of the fox. My wife's been chick with this fox that's just moved in. She thinks it's some good-looking guy. It's actually a fucking fox that she's getting it on with. Just lying in bed when I come home. Is that that sad? Fuck.

I'll just creep out the back door. No, he's moved in, and he does the mating call, and then you can hear him having sex in the back garden. Hold on, he's moved into your back garden? Yeah. Which you can't move him from because he's got cubs there from you know what are you about to say

from a previous relationship what were you no he's clearly there's this absolute night it's sad there's a divorce fox that's moving into our back garden it's really falling on hard times we don't know where she is

she's gone off of the house seriously she's not you know but he's still out in the back and you hear him do the mating call that foxes do where they shout yeah and then um two walkouts there oh wow

big fox fans box porn Yeah, go on anyway Don't get too distracted I was just joking They're coming back Oh cool, cool Good, okay I thought the fox stuff

was too much for you guys So yeah He calls out for sex You hear him call out What's the noise He does that Like Ah

Ah And I thought that was him Having sex And then you hear a female In the mix And then they're locked Together having sex And then

Then me and sort of Catherine lay there And have this awkward look at each, we're watching like. Sort of sat there like this, and the catliss because of why are you wanking? Worse than that. Oh, this is awful.

Sorry, you're about to tell a story that's worse than wanking while watching some foxes. I think he is. We were laying there watching Modern Family, and you heard the fox of his thing, and I was like, and then you heard, you hear him having sex, I went, they sound like they're having a good time.

He's got quite their life, isn't he? And because now Grace knows that there's cubs out there, we've started leaving them out food because of the cubs and stuff, and she's worried about the cuck. My daughter, Grace, not mine. So we're leaving out food and bits. And then one of the neighbours has now complained to us.

Saying what? We came in the house and said, Oh, have you seen the foxes in the back garden? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's living in our back garden. He said, oh, we didn't have a problem around here until you moved doing with foxes. And now he thinks it's going to become a bigger problem than it actually. I mean, it is bad.

I mean, once his kids have gone to sleep, he's an absolute piece of shit. He's having sex, he's shouting. You're like him. You're talking about the fox who are your neighbour? The fox. Sorry, I know, I know you've got a bit of a tendency to embed. fellish. Did the neighbour really say we didn't have a problem with foxes until you moved in? I swear. He, like, he's not a fan of me. He doesn't like the fact I'm there.

He, uh, yeah, he looks down. How has he expressed that? By coming over and saying things like that, or every time, every time I see him out, like if I see him, you know, in like Gales or whatever, I go for coffee, I go, hello, mate, you're all right, and he'll go, yeah. has quite a sort of owl-like way about him. He's sort of a little raised in the eyebrows. And then I'll say something, oh, we should grab a coffee sometime. Yeah, he doesn't, yeah. Not a fan.

It's quite an awkward thing. I thought we'd bond over the fox. Yeah. That's not happening. Can I ask you a question? So you don't like him. I don't dislike him. I'd be his friend if he asked me.

Let me just say I'm that fucking love on friends right now He could do anything He could set fire to my car And then come out and go Do you want to hang out? I'll go, yeah, go on then Do people

Do you ask people if you can be their friend Is that how happens for you? That was my takeaway from that Is that you said If he asked me to be his friend I would That leads me to believe That you live your life

Sort of you might be in a work situation At the end of it This has gone pretty well I know this is a bit forward of me, but I was just wondering if you maybe wanted to be friends come round to my house and watch the foxes fucking. Yeah, but... There we go.

What's a new one? Sad story, actually. The mother of the kids is not... Anyway. Yeah, but I'd sometimes... Because don't you ever think, like, you think you're friends with someone, you've broke... You never actually ask.

asking someone out, and then you go to forward, and they're like, oh, you've overset the mark sort of type thing. But you're an acquaintance, then you ask them to come over for dinner, and they're like... I've never done that. I've never done that. I can't imagine a situation I'd ask someone to come over for dinner. He's never turned around and go, oh, Bill, you and Claire should come over for some food? No. You are just... What? It's just such a ball, like, I just... I love the feeling of new friends, the excitement of like breaking your ground, What's your best holiday you've ever had? See, it's that sort of thing that solidifies my position for me.

Do you know what I mean? No, but what I mean is, like, it's difficult, isn't it? Say if you're out and about and then you say you should come around for dinner, then you've got to go home, and then I've got to say to Lisa, I've invited these people over for dinner. Then she goes to me, what the fuck have you done that for? Then suddenly I'm pitching for this couple and trying to explain to Lisa that they're worth coming around for dinner.

then she'll say to me, oh, can you, can you, whenever we've had people around for dinner, it's gone terribly. I mean, I haven't been mad to your house for dinner yet. I mean, we make a joke, you've been mad to mine for dinner. I haven't been my for dinner. I've had biscuits, and now you're aggrieved to give me them. Well, the reason I was aggrieved to give you them, Tom, is that we put out enough for everybody,

and you ate every single fucking one. Do you remember? Yeah. One of the kids came in to have one. There did some crumbs sat on your chest. Sorry I've taken my tushet off, least I want it to get greasy That's right, Tom, I like it

I just find having people around for dinner It's difficult, do you know what I mean? I think going out for dinner's good You know, it's more expensive, obviously But it's just that you know that it's going to finish By the way, do you pay for everyone Or do you go Dutch? Do I pay for everywhere?

Look, if you're out and you've integrated the dinner You at the end going, I've got this I'm all right, sure, Dave, mate, I've got this I'll put your money away, mate, it's no good here. Waiter, this is on me, me and my new friends. Sorry, in this discussion, that's you. Like, why have you described exactly that behaviour? Then suddenly you've done an impression of me doing exactly what you've been talking about.

pay for everyone. No, of course you don't. You don't pay for anyone. When we were in Manchester doing the show, you ordered two tables. They had to, I've talked about this before on the podcast. We had a curry. They had to bring over a second table to take the food. I got so excited. It's a tapas. I've got to say tapas, by the way, I think it should be illegal to have tapas with these sized tables. They didn't have this size table. It was a full size table. It was a full size table. Yeah, but in this situation it was, yeah. It was two full tables. that is not a table for you, that's a fucking stool. Like, they're not going to give you that.

I have been at tapas restaurants because you get one of them and you're like, I don't know what am I going to do here? You've got to eat it so quickly and keep the plates going like that. I play one of those mobile sushi games. Like a train going around. Yeah. Go again.

So you invite people for dinner? Yeah, I like people over. I like it. I like going out as well with new people, breaking new ground. I like meeting people and hearing their story and being around new people. I think it's a nice thing in life. So hold on.

So are you in the market for friends? Yes, massively. I'm sniffing around. I'm like in a nightclub where you see one fucking desperate soul looking around for someone to kiss at the end of the night. That's what I'm like with friends. And I think it's stinking off me. We went to Grace's Open Day the other day,

and I was that sad, Dad, just sort of laughing around. Let me just get this clear. It was the parents you were trying to make friends with, wasn't it? I'm walking up and going, hello, mate, what's your name then, huh? Well, you, year six, year seven. Do you want to come around and see a fox? So what were you doing? Just fucking banal sort of chat.

Just trying to sort of, like, integrate. I knew for a fact Catherine just sort of like went like that Catherine did it like she went to me that's a bit fucking needy

what did you do I was having football banter and it's oh god what's wrong because you know when you think about something and you realize how fucking pathetic it was so I was chatting to this guy

we were chatting about another dad and we were chat about football he was a West Ham fan too and he went oh nice meeting you mate I'll see you late

and I went see you like mate And as he walked off, I went, irons. I can just picture Catherine going home now and getting in the garden. She's in the garden now going, and then when he walked off, that big slug just went, ions. And that's why I'll never have sex at him again. That would be enough for me to not, like, if I didn't know you when you did that, that would be enough to never contact you again.

Really? Yeah, and people think when I talk like that, like I don't like people, I love people, I think people are great, but I just feel like it's just difficult, isn't it? As you get older, I mean, I don't really think I've got any friends now. Well, that's a bit insulting. Yeah, but I mean, obviously I love you, you know, very much, but this is a monetary thing, isn't it? Yeah, of course. For both of us. Yeah. But you, no, but you've got friends. There's a whole phenomenon, isn't there? As you get older, you sort of lose friends, or you sort of drift or whatever, you know?

But do you not ever think like you'd like someone who's just sort of outside of this business, which is all quite hollow, you'd like someone that you could just sort of, you know, have like a brief... Are you making the move on me now? I've already had you as a friend. You're my most beautiful friend. You're like my friend wife. How'd you mean?

Well, if everyone want to tell me, like my best friend, the friend that I adore, if I'm on the Titanic and all the people I've ever known are there, Obviously, Grace and Catherine already on a lifeboat. I'm searching wrong. Has anyone seen Rommish? Has anyone seen, I want to save you. Oh, fuck off. Has anyone seen Rommish?

I think it would be funny to fry him overboard and try and ride him like a raft. You're down below with Lisa going, just wrong before this thing goes down. We like the old couple, you know, just trembling. Please, just one long. French kiss before we die. Get off me.

I can get on a fucking lifeboat. Yeah, I just don't think I'm in the market for friends, really. You know, look, you know, and if we... About tonight, like, you're leaving here. Like, just give you a scenario. Yeah, please. And you're just sort of, like, lurking about by the bins. What is your obsession with foxes?

No, like, you're throwing some rubbish out from my dinner. I'm throwing the rubbish out from your dinner. dinner. I'm doing something out. I'm doing something like a sweet thing for you. I'm cleaning your trainers, right? What a weird hypothetical? Okay, fine.

Carry on. You come out, right? There's a guy lurking about that. He's got like an Arsenal jumper on. He's reading a book like, I don't know, like a really cool... So there's a guy in the alley wearing an Arsenal jumper reading a book? Right.

No, like a maths book. All right. That is, do you know what? That is what you think of me, isn't it? That is... Let me think what Rom's into, like, Arsenal, who used to be a math teacher, probably likes numbers. Yeah, one of my favorite things is to read maths books.

How did you know? I just sort of, oh, I wonder how you'd solve that one. And he's got a cool pair of trainers on, all right? So, maths book, Arsenal Jumper. This might be a mirror. And he's eating like a vegan sausage roll or something, right? Fucking hell. Okay, go.

So you go out and you come out and you're like, what would you say to him? Nothing. What? Okay, he starts off conversation. He's like, oh, hey man, cool shodernate. Why is, why does he sound like that? Because in my head, you haven't got many Americans, you haven't got any friends, but an American friend might fucking tip the scale.

Because in my head, you come out and go, fucking in, you're American? Yeah, man, I sure am. Oh, what? Don't applaud. Don't, don't. Don't you dare fucking applaud that again, you prick. I'll be rocked silly American in an alley.

Yeah, so. So in a Glasgow alley, I meet a guy wearing an Arsenal jumper reading a mask but we're cool trainers on who's an American eating a vegan sausage rolls sorry okay so let's so I come out what am I doing you're throwing out some bins just from

I'm throwing out some bins post show I'm throwing out just say just say for example you've like you've been sick after the show because like because you enjoyed it so much you made me smell your chest to see how much it smells a chicken okay go on

Yeah, so you got, he's like that, he's like, oh, hey, dude. Hey, man, great show. Didn't know what to think of it, but, by, that was funny, huh? Do you often, after a show, just go to an alley to read? You know something? Oh, by the way, I know who you are. You should probably ask my name. It's quite a foreword.

It's a way to start conversation, isn't it? I'm a forward guy. The way I see it is life is a motorway. Okay. Well done for not saying like a box of chocolates, which is the direction you were headed. Oh, wow. Forrest Gump's a funny guy, huh?

It's funny if you look at history books, there's no mention of him. Yet he had this life, which is extraordinary. My name is Jill. I've... What is your name? Hanspagan. Jill, what? Huntsbagan.

Huntsbaken? Yeah. Nice to meet you. And you're under the impression... It's Dutch Irish. And you're... And tell me, Jill, are you under the impression

that Forrest Gump was a documentary? Well, either a documentary or that guy was a big stupid liar. Anyway, it's great to see you. You were in your element out there who was beautiful to see. Sometimes when I get bored after, I'm not sure, I'm waiting for a bus, I crack open a messbook and solve some conundrums.

And how many buses stopping this, Alley? Well, I don't know, it hasn't been that many areas so far. Yeah, I think you're going to be waiting quite a while, Jill. Don't you think alleys are funny, huh? They're not roads and they're not Parth's, but they segue... Parth's? But they say... What part of America are you from, Jill?

Well, I've done a lot of traveling, sir. I was in the army, you see. Really? What did you do? U.S. Marines. Okay. That was her favorite bit, the Marine bit. She's absolutely fucking lost her shit.

Sounds like she's pissed herself. Okay, you were in the Marines, Jill? Mm-hmm. Did you see any action? Yeah, I sure did. Every day was an action day, apart from Tuesdays. What happened on Tuesdays? Oh, I usually took a Tuesday off for me.

So in the Marines, you're allowed to choose your day off, are you? Well... So you're in combat. Yep. And then on Tuesday you go, I'm just going to have the day off. Well, you can do it on a Wednesday or Thursday, Friday. I know the days of the week, Jill. Thank you.

And what do you do now, Jill? Oh, well, now I stumble from city to city. You just, you might think this is pathetic. I think I might. Well, I guess I just, I'm looking for my Moby Dick. A friend who's got the same interest as I. I don't know, humorous, vegan who likes mats, supports the greatest goddamn football team God ever made

and likes trainers. It's weird that you're American and support Arsenal call them trainers, isn't it? Well, I love English culture, like your humor. Like you, for example, so cold and frosty. But yet there's something in you that yearns for something different. You remind me of my old corporal. I'm going to ask you this question and I'm going to believe whatever you say to me, Jill. Did you fuck your corporal?

So, you want to get a drink? Yeah, I don't think, I mean, I entertain that for the sake of the role play, but I wouldn't talk to somebody in a while. You wouldn't talk, oh, man. I'm trying to think of what would have to happen for me to sort of really... Chat to someone different. No, I'd chat to people. I would be friendly, but to then take that to me and let's hang out, it feels difficult. I had two people at my wedding who were there.

Congratulations, that sounds like a big one. So was it, it's a cat and somebody you paid to be a witness? A guy we met on the way over there. No, no, that I'd met and I'd become friends with. Sorry, Tom. It's not that remarkable to be friends with two people that were at your wedding. No, no. Who did you invite?

that I had a sea of friends and family. Right. Oh, God. Are you okay? No, no, no. Someone had chickens repeating on me. I sort of feel like I've got to run and check in on Gratz. I told manager.

He also had the chicken, some of it off my chest. No, but, no, two people I've met in circumstances. One on the train, I've got chatted on the train. Oh, I see. Sorry, I know I understand. And we gradually became friends. Two people that came to your wedding. Which I'd met, who had just met in the street and become friends with. That's why I miss pubs the most.

I just love it. I don't think pubs are the same. I just think pubs are amazing. You should be able to walk in a pub before social media, sounding old now. Oh, listen, they've changed. You go in there, you can't see a single white face anymore, can you? And you used to be going out and we'll go in and just chat to people you didn't know. Before you knew it, you know, your friends, someone would turn out.

Sometimes your friends wouldn't even meet you there, and you'd end up with it. That, I don't find surprising. And you'd end up just going out with a load of random people, getting smashed. Not like that. It doesn't sound that appear. You just meet up with a group of random people. No, you don't meet up with them. You don't put yourself on a hinge and just go, looking to meet with new.

Like, I think I'd love to see you just be like the twig on those sort of shoulders of a mighty river and just go with it. Is there a group of people here who don't want to take Ramesh out after? The whole auditorium. Sorry, that's really nice of you. But let's just think about the reality of that. So you watch the show, you go to leave, and then I go, oh, hello. I'm just running if I could join you for the evening.

That's fun for about 30 seconds, do you know what I mean? Mate, you are more, I'd say you've got 20 minutes of good fun in you. Thanks, man. That's joyous. And then it would be a bit awkward. Yeah. I think it would not be as cool as you think. Because a lot of the time you're offering people

to go out for pints with them and stuff like that You'll often say Because Glasgow is quite friendly, isn't it? It's a great city Yeah, I don't like that Really? No, I'm joking, I do love Glasgow But you know that sort of

You know like when people sort of You sort of get into chats with strangers I find it quite anxiety I love it. Do you? Yeah, I'd say it's probably my hobby That's the thing I enjoy Most out of life

It's the thing I'm better at than anything else I just think that, yeah just having a chat with someone you've never met. And that handshake at you leave. Hard and assured. When's the last time you made a new friend? Actually, you know what? Rob Percy has become a dear friend in the last...

since we started this tour. It's Rob Percy someone. I'd very much enjoy his company. I mean, aside the Scotchhead thing, I'd say, Rob Percy, a month ago, I knew of him of his legend and now I look at him and go that's a friend

I'm not convinced you know what friend because Rob is being paid to do this tour I don't know he was forced to get the trade with you because he was forced to get the trade with you.

He's got to come to the show tonight. Can I just tell you the sad thing is that Rob... You've told us quite a few sad things, but... No, I quite like... I love sad stuff, but... Rob said you didn't have to get me a seat next year. When the train got delayed, I was like, oh, at least we're sitting here together, and he went,

yeah, you didn't have to... But, yeah, Rob Percy would be someone. Okay, good for you. When was the last time you made a friend, a new friend? You were chatting to the guy, not the guy in the alley, because that was made up. Although he did like you. And if you want me to roleplay that character, I can.

What you mean? What character? The guy from the alley, Jill. You've just done it? Yeah, but if you ever want me to do that at their private time, I can. Like a married couple, if our relationship ever gets a bit tired to them, I could become Jill for you. I'll hire a sort of Marines outfit. No, thank you.

Well, look, it's almost the end. It's actually time to end the first off, but I just want to ask you one quick question. So I don't know what you think of this as an audience, but I just want to throw this dilemma at you and see. First of all, is, would you say that you've got, how's your relationship right now? What do you mean?

With Kat. Great, very good, very happy. No issues or anything. Well, there's always issues. She's married to me. Do you find it difficult to keep up the sort of affection and romance? Yeah, I mean, we've got a fucking three-and-a-half-year-old. It's almost impossible, yeah.

Well, she's not here to sort of, she has a surprise guest, is she? No, no, no. No, I just want to know. My junior actually started freaking out, and she'd come walking on and go, yeah, we have got problems. That's the second half ruined. Okay. He can't sustain an erection unless there's foxes in the garden.

No, I just want to know what you think of this. I was watching this show. Yeah. And it was about... I can't even remember what it was. It was like some like couples-like therapy show. Okay. And one of the...

Meths? Pardon? Not maths. No. Let's not talk about them. Because every time we talk about... Does anybody here watch Married at first sight? Anyway, the point is I was watching this couple therapy thing.

It wasn't maths. But the woman in the couple had been complaining about the fact that the husband wasn't showing her enough affection or saying she looks nice and stuff like that and she felt like the romance was... Were you watching this with Leithon? No, I was just watching this on my own.

What? Yeah, in the evenings Leifton and I watched stuff in separate rooms. She's watching football, you're watching this. No, she was out with her personal trainer again. So I... I'm watching this show and so the woman's talking about

how the husband doesn't like show her enough affectionate. and stuff. And then it changed. And apparently regularly he was telling her that she was pretty and she'd come down and he said, you look really, really nice. And then he'd go, I love you and I'm like, you know, da-da-da-da. And she's really happy until one day she walked into the kitchen and his mobile was on the kitchen like top. And on the phone, there was a reminder that said, tell your wife she looks pretty today. Oh my God. And she said, that doesn't count. And he said it does. What do you think? I don't think that counts. You've got set a reminder to compliment your wife. That's fucking tragic. I think it feels so hollow for your wife that every time you said that

it's because you've been reminded to say it rather than said it from the heart. Is there an argument that the only mistake he really made was leaving his phone out? Yeah, but for her, that's a, that's a horrible moment, I think. Hmm. Okay. Who agrees with that? Anybody on the husband's side? Okay, cool So, sorry, what was that? I think he went to the effort to put the reminder in his phone Yeah, thank you Can you fucking tell Lisa

I mean Now if you're regularly listening to the Wall for now that we always close things off with Tom's little summary Now Tom it's a lot tricky to do this live, but we'd love you to close this off for us

with some sort of, I don't know, story about an animal that turns out he's learned a lesson with you. Well, we've just done that, and it got quite homoerotic and offensive. So I shall leave you with this. Hmm. Hmm.

In the turbulent world that we live in, where waves seem to crash against us constantly, it's easy to fall apart, easy to let the words of others, the negativity, flood inside you. Easy to let your armor drop and your sinew fall and claps, whatever that means. Jesus Christ. It's easy to forget to put up an umbrella and let the rain of a fence tear over you.

Sometimes in life, one of the most important things is to go, I'm okay, buddy, I'm all right. Wash it off. Think, you know what? Instead of meeting anger and negativity with exactly that, I'll meet you with a little positivity. I'll try to just do me. Like Andrew here.

When the room turned on him, he didn't worry. He just kept strong. And that's the thing in life. He can't control what you all think of him. But what he can control is the woman he's leaning on. A bit of a dick-haven move. But he can control the small little bubble in which he's in. And that's all we can do.

So instead of trying to solve the world's problems, just try and solve the little world around you, the little bubble. Make the little few people you interact with each day, go away feeling a little bit more positive. Put a smile on people's faces instead of a tear in their eye. And remember this, you're only as good as the last three people you spoke to. So make sure those conversations are positive ones, good ones, and generous in spirit.

Go well, Glasgow. It's been a joy of being here. God bless. Let's go! Guys, thank you so much for coming out tonight. Oh! We appreciate every one of you. Thank you so much.

Please give it up for Tom Davidsson Wolff. The Robert Tregnardite for me out! Have a safe journey home Glasgow, thank you very much. Good night!