Wolf and Owl - S5 Ep 1: This Hiatus is Over: Wolf and Owl is BACK!

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

Did you miss us? Wolf & Owl is back with a new studio, new statues, and now two episodes a week. We chat about the hiatus, the importance of socks, Captain Lawrence Oates, and Tom’s silk bed sheets. Plus, Tom tells Romesh about his fateful trip to Ireland and the unhealthiest of food itineraries – featuring a Krispy Kreme obsession and spice bags with dumpling chasers. Send in your questions for us at [e-mail] for the chance to have them answered in an upcoming episode. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Listen. 00:00 Intro 02:44 The importance of socks 04:05 Romesh’s podcasts 06:06 The hiatus 07:01 Curtains, bedsheets and silk 10:25 Captain Lawrence Oates 11:34 Spud Gun 12:02 Drinking in Ireland 14:55 Spice bags and dumpling chasers 18:29 Krispy Kreme in Belfast 22:45 Two old fashioneds 23:53 Hotel picky bits 26:14 Stomach pain 29:15 The diet that made Tom cry 34:23 Pep talk 36:46 Be kind to yourself 43:18 Diamonds and stones Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Let's go. Holy shit. Oh my God. The world finale is buck, baby. Yeah. Can you feel that in your ears, baby? Oh my goodness. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that feels so good. You just, you just made me feel nice. Oh, God, I've missed you your body so much and now you're back. Lay back! No, no, no, you're back. Oh, I didn't say that. I see. I missed your body so much.

Lay back. No, no, no, no. I'd love to hear those words. I would fucking love to hear those words Yeah Yeah what you want Beak or jaws Fathers or fur

Sharp teeth or feet with claws Whatever's prefer Just kidding Every word in his songs About two grown men Dressed up as a bird and a dog The wolf and owl Yes baby

In the studio Our studio vibes Feeling very This feels nice There's a wolf There's an owl These are incredible Don't touch them

I know yeah Very expensive Every time I go over to sort of Touch one They go Oh yes It's good

How does it feel to be back? It feels nice I've missed your energy I've missed your scent Your beautiful aroma I just missed this Being integrated with you And being alive with you

Jesus It's been difficult for us Isn't it? Yeah it has yeah Because we have talked We have talked We have talked yeah We made a decision to talk more

Didn't we Yeah As in while the podcast is on a break Yeah We've had some beautiful Conversations Really beautiful But actually I

really enjoyed I've got to say when the mics were off the camera I've enjoyed them then I just enjoy you when somebody says I've actually got to say that suggests it's it's out of a sense of duty no no no no I think if I'm gonna be honest with you I think you have been the Mitch Buchanan in the in this you've been the you've been the lifeguard that we needed in our relationship coming out to save me at sea yeah I'm sort of like I don't know I don't think that's true but you know you know you know Yeah, but you're beautiful when you do such a thing. Yeah, thank you.

All right, it's fucking out. These chairs are so close, I've suddenly realized. Yeah, no, because as you were saying that, I thought, God, he's so close to me. It's because of the way you're talking. Yeah, but I'm also, I'm not trying to be seductive. Right. You just can't help it.

No, that's just who I am now. In the break we've had, I've become more seductive. By the way, the moustache is just, it's, because we're sitting like this, it feels like I'm soaking all of you in. Oh, God. I feel like a rum sponge. Yeah, like a little bit of bread mopping up the romish's gravy.

Oh, that sounds grosser, and I thought. Yeah. Can I put my leg like this? Well, you've done it now. Yeah, no, yeah, but I just... It's nice. I like your sock. Thank you.

Oh, God. If anybody's wondering if we've still got electric chat, two minutes into the first episode back, Rommish says, I like your sock. Sox are important. That's when I knew it was dead. Sox are important. It's an important thing to...

Yeah. Because, and it's a little bit, it's not sexy just giving something away. Just not everyone's going to see this sock today, but you will. Well, I am, yeah. Yeah. But for most people. How important are socks to you? Fuck me.

Not only have I said it, I'm now making it a topic of the chat. This is all on you. I mean, I can go anywhere. Yeah, yeah, go. Yeah, let's see where you go. So sock wise in a uniform stroke outfit, I'd say socks are, yeah, 10% of an outfit. Have you ever? I do think about them more than I used to.

Right. Because I like it. I like a little ride up now like this and someone can see them. Yeah. Yeah. Given a little bit of... Yeah, I mean the skin is just the skin. Yeah, how much skin?

You're not going to show much skin. No, I don't think you're supposed to show any skin. Yeah, but yeah, that's the thing you'll get the perfect trous. Now what you've got is just some hairs sort of laughing over the top of the sock. Like a newborn calf. Yeah. over the stable door. Yeah, literally it's been.

Yeah. We're doing some wordplay now. It's good to see you again though, bro. And it's good to be back on the wall for now. I love this podcast. It's so much fun to be. Yeah. It's one of my favorite podcasts that I do.

You only got four now. No, two. Two delicious podcasts. I've enjoyed the Romish Rankin' Nathan once. I mean, obviously this has been announced. Well, there's been some abuse. Really? Well, particularly while the wolf for now is on a break.

There's been a couple of comments like, have you stopped the wolf for now for this? I've been getting a lot of that. Yeah. I've got a lot of it. People have thought we need to address it. Well, there's no point addressing it now. We should have addressed it beforehand.

Yeah. Because we are actually back now. Well, we did actually talk about it in one of the live shows, but then I realized we've never sent that, we've never put that live show out. So we actually did talk about it in one of our shows. What do we say? That we were doing this.

We were having a hiatus. We had a little bit of time off. No, but we did say it on the actual podcast as well that are having a hiatus. Yeah, but also I think it's been longer and people thought. Yeah. It was longer than we thought. Yeah. And I think it's a.

It's a bit like Kelly and David at the school gates. David hasn't been dropping off Mark this week. No. And then David's not been seen for a month and a half and everyone's like,

oh, I don't think David and Kevin I don't think David's coming back. Yeah. Yeah. And I think when production keep telling you, there's no rush.

Yeah. That's when you start to get, you know, for people with our self-esteem it starts to get a bit. Yeah, I would say. It's squeaky bum time, isn't it?

Yeah, because for me, it's been very much like watching you sort of be out on sort of like speed dates. And I'm watching from afar going, oh my God, like, he's so fucking, but actually, you know what? It's made me love and respect you more. And actually, like, really rekindle what I've had for you. Yeah. You know, like, so watching you with another lover has actually made it sort of way.

It's a different lover every week. Yeah, which is nice. Yeah. Because I'm like, oh, he's playing the game and he sort of got like this sort of. I just wanted to, I just wanted to, I just want to see what's out there. Yeah. You know, and obviously, I love you. I feel like I'm the one in this real.

relationship who stayed in and I've got your dinner on a table and you don't come home. And I'm sort of just sitting there with Alfie our dog. Now you're being a little bit playful because we should address what actually happened, which is that we initially went on hiatus and then you weren't sure if you wanted to do this anymore. Fuck, because of other stuff you've got going on. And you said,

and you said, but this has become a very abusive relationship now. If you don't mind me quite in you directly, I think it's a good chance I'm above this now. No, no, no, come on. Come on. You're a sweet soul. Very gas-lighty, actually, that in the first day. But we have taken a break, and it's been nice to rekindle it.

It's great to be back. We've got the sign. We've got the sign. We've got the wolf. We've got the hour. We've got some beautiful lights. I would say, don't start really pulling it apart. No.

Because, you know, some of it's illusion, isn't it? Yeah. There's a lot of smoke and mirrors. Yeah. And a beautiful curtain. Yeah, really nice. Really nice bit of cut. Actually, by the way, can I say,

thick, decent curtains. You're not getting any light through these. I think it's Egyptian cotton. Wow. These bed sheets or curtains? They're curtains. Okay, cool. What bed sheets are you rocking at home?

Silk? No, I'm not a silk. What have you got? I don't think I like silk. Wow. On the skin. A silk shirt on a hot summer's day is delicious. I know, but it's just...

The feeling of it just... Get out of the pool. All right. Walk across. What are you doing with your face in your hand? sexy sort of feel right okay you walk get out of pool pour yourself up right water's just dripping off you just shake don't tell all right you go off and you just throw a silk shirt

short sleeve Cuban style over you there's one of the best feelings in the world okay I've not done it I've not done it you need to do it I need to see you do it but silk's a awful thing to sleep in yeah it's horrible too I so hence silk sheets I thought they were sexy up when I was about sort of 27 28 I brought some and I spent a lot of time on my own but they they yeah I remember actually sort of having someone come back home with me he'd uh missed his train back from no before I remember meeting a woman and her coming back and the silk sheets were just there were such an ick before itk I remember coming in and her being like oh my god have you got silk sheets top hand bottom did she said that she was like

she was like yeah and oh no so you two have not got matching energies about the silk sheet reveal You thought she was going to be like... Wow, have you got a silk sheet? Yeah, like this. Oh my God. Have you got silk sheets? I think the touch test will suffice. I thought you were silky.

So are the sheets. Something like that. I can't believe I'm at you in a vodka revolutions and you've got the silk sheets. And here comes another revolution. The silk sheets were, yeah. I actually think I had them up until, I've been stuffed in a drawer up until me and Catherine moved out of my flat

and she found them stuffed away. Yeah, so I've not got those. I've got normal. Like, nice cotton. What is there? How does it, go on my fucking, now I'm actually in a Ramesh place. Yeah, go on. What does that mean?

What does that mean? No, no, you know what you're like saying about the socks. Okay, but let's not call it a Ramesh place. How does the grading work of, like, Egyptian cotton? I don't know. It's thread count. Thread count, yeah. So the high the thread count, the better.

So it means there's more. threads in it. Thank you. What the fucking fuck made you think that needed to be explained. No, but I'm like, so what does that mean? Like, they're smaller threads, they're more tiny. More tightly bound. So it's like it's a denser, you know. I like a big

airy old duvee. Big airy. Yeah, like it feels cool. I don't like it. I don't like to feel like I'm being like... Do you know what you'd love? Netting. Oh wow, that'd be nice. Yeah. Like I was a whale. But higher thread count, it feels nicer apparently. I don't I'm not an expert.

And then do you change toog? Fucking hell, welcome to the first step back. Do you change tog? No, no. In the summer, you don't change to a log to a light of tog. In the summer, we just go to a sheet. Yeah, I love that. Do you sometimes like, do you know what I like doing?

Do you sleep naked, right? No. Okay. Boxers. All right, yeah. I like having one leg in, one leg out. Oh, that is delicious. So good on a cold day as well.

So lovely. It's like, you know, Scott of the Antarctic. when what's his face? Pickles or saying one of his guys go, I'm going outside, I might be some time. That's a bit like, like the igloo is the duve

and your leg going out is that one explorer. I can't remember his name. I swear his pickles or... Okay, it doesn't matter what his name. The analogy is... Well, no, it's not. So your leg goes out. And then you have the sheet sat right in the...

What's his name? We're finding out now. Yeah. This is another advantage of the studio. Is it oats? Oates. Oates. Yeah. Otherwise known as Pickles.

I'm not a fucking historian. Wallace Oates or saying, isn't it? Captain Lawrence Oates. He said, I'm just going outside and maybe some time. He uttered these words on March the 16th, 1912, before walking into a blizzard to his death. He, by the way, is actually a real hero

that we don't celebrate enough. Yeah. Because he did that so everyone else could live that when they all died at the end. We don't celebrate enough. You're right. We don't celebrate him.

enough and sometimes I've heard his name mispronounced even when he is mentioned so anyway have you been good yeah good what you've been up to since I last saw you in the end of last year the end when did we last see each other we searched like for the podcast yeah we've done one thing uh just getting ready for this tour tour's started now um um spud gun spud gun tickets very much still on sale um that little smile is my favorite thing i'm You're selling well. You're being playful. Did Ireland.

Ireland was a lot. Yeah. Ireland was a lot. Talk to me about work. You went with Dinesh. Dinesh Nathan. Nathan. Sweet Dinesh Nathan.

Who is Dinesh Nathan to separate himself. Yeah. And then we talk about him on the podcast and have him on the Romish Rang of Nathan's show. Yeah. Undermines it a little bit. But anyway. Yeah. He came.

He was obviously wonderful. Gratio Arabella. Yeah. Arabella. How long have you thought that's his story? surname. A bella, right? Yeah, I like call him Arabella.

And my friend Tommy Power. I've met Tommy, right? You've met Tommy. Met him in Sheffield? Yes, he came to an ill-fated Sheffield show. A lot of fun. But I went back on the horse. I had a few guineas.

The horse being alcohol? Yeah, it was my first. So how does that work? When are you on the wagon? I think you're on the wagon when you're off the booze. When you're off the booze, you're on the wagon. So you got out of the wagon and climbed onto one of the the horses yeah I don't yeah I didn't I jumped onto a back of a horse yeah

it's still fucking hell yeah oh go bro for a while one and then uh I couldn't see the wagon for about two days um it was quite it was quite a session so what made you break your uh I think being in you know I get a bit giddy when I'm an island I know it's your motherland yeah I get a little bit kiddie of you yeah yeah you're joking you are a bit you are a bit like that aren't yeah You sort of crouched down and go, this is home. I clap when we land. I had a few, you know, a few things leading up to it where I was like a bit stressed.

And I sort of thought, I'm going to let loose in this weekend. And also I was a bit anxious about the sort of show. I'd done Sheffield as the opening night. Yeah. Got lovely memories of Sheffield, haven't you? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, the audience of Sheffield was beautiful. Great.

Can I say? Sheffield people are great. And Dublin and Belfast, shout out. I've got nothing bad to say about Sheffield. Wonderful audiences, but yeah, Dublin was big. It was like, yeah, I got sort of, I went into, I drank a pint of Guinness, the first pint, so quickly, Dinesh looked at me and was like, well, what's going on here?

Yeah. And then that was followed by about another seven or eight. Seven or eight pints. Yeah, and a few whiskeys. How pissed are you at that point? I wasn't pissed, piss, I was quite a merry. Because if I, if I, I'm not just saying this, if I had eight points of Guinness, I'd have to go to hospital.

Yeah, I mean, that's where this story's going. But what I mean is immediately. No, no, no. I mean, that's a lot. Yeah, I mean. That's light work for you. All joke aside, yeah. But you hadn't drunk for how long before then?

Like that, about four years. Okay, so then you're going in eight pints. How many whiskeys? Cut of whiskeys. How many baby guineas? Two baby guineasies. And then obviously then your food decisions are bad. My food decisions were bad.

As soon as I landed, this is we went to get a spice bag. me, your brother, Tommy and Graz. Never had a spice bag. I don't think they've got vegan spice bags. They do, yeah, yeah. Do they? Yeah. Okay. Can I say that?

Basically, it was almost like I thought, how can I best destroy the inside of my insides? So I had that. So talk me through, can you just talk me through? We land. I'm like, straight away. I meant the spice bag. Oh, okay.

But yeah, we land and then, okay, you get your luggage. Yeah, okay. What was checking like? Seameless. Yeah. We go and get this spice bag. So it's basically just Chinese spice, fire spice, doused all over chips with chicken, fried chicken,

peppers, onions. I think I might have had a spice bag then. I didn't know that's what it's called. Yeah, that's basically a spice. Fucking ice. I'm so out of touch. I ate that and then I had a chaser of a couple of little dumpling things.

Dunbling chase is probably something that's only ever been said by you. but I you know that thing I don't know if you get that thing I literally arrived in Dublin with like this reckless form of like yeah you're home yeah I'm saying you're home

you're home you get the air fills your lungs and you go I'm ready to have a good time and I was just you're in the motherland the show got away great great show a lot of fun how close up to the show are you eating oh no no I had the spice bag

dumplings and and then a big slice of pizza um I never five o'clock's my cut off three my cut off yeah my cut off yeah my cut off than that but anyway yeah and then I said that like it was oh god and then I basically I said it like it's a flex I still by the way now I'm feeling this quite a lot and that's point my energies away we'll get used to how to sit in these right me eventually but it might be at some point we like

cross our legs over each other why don't I put my how about if I do that you could do that and then I could sit like that okay that's actually quite nice yeah nice to me as well yeah that's one way so I then I then I went in big and then Sunday had the show in Belfast. Yeah. I ate like a dog Sunday. Like two fryups. From a bowl on the floor.

It took me so long to come up with that. So yeah, two fry ups. Two fry ups in the morning. All the pastries. Yeah. Then drove down to, drove from Dublin to Belfast. As soon as we go in Belfast,

I'll go for this. One of the best burgers I've had, Bonson Burger. Shout Gratio who found this place. Big shout at Bansomberg. Bonser burger. That's good continuing our theme of small business shoutouts. If you're ever in Belfast, it genuinely is one of the best bugs I've had with chips.

Now my stomach is in bits. Yeah. Can you feel it immediately? Yeah. And this gets worse, right? I then had a hankering because I felt quite sad for some crispy cream donuts. Right? Um, either, our friend.

Love either. Then was like, I said, oh, he... So this is after the burger? Yeah, this is... fry-ups yeah this is the same day yeah okay so basically I have like sastomit said by the way but I I itinerise that is that a verb yeah because I wanted to get the full picture I don't think I get this you've had a lot of savoury I get that yeah I need a bit of sweet this is part of the problem well

there was a lot of excitement around the team because crispy cream has just come to but I won't pronounce it right now oh yeah I forgot about that those were the days it was very early days we weren't talking about socks them were we We had real content. They basically, they were very excited about the fact that they just landed in Belfast. The Krispy Kreme has just become a thing.

So I said, oh, let's have something to celebrate, you know, we'll be in here together. Just because I want to the Krispy Kreme. So he buys a box of Krispy Kreme. It's a shame you couldn't have celebrated with a bottle of Peptibismol or something, isn't it? Yeah, that would have been... It's all coming.

He turns up with his box. Everyone has a donut. First half for the show, Dinesh. Okay. What donut did you have? I just go for a simple ring at first. Do you know what? I respect that.

As a donut purist, I respect to it. I feel that your respect for me. He's going to drop. Okay. The show starts and Dinesh goes on to do his 25. 25 you're letting him do now. Because he'd said to me that you're saying, I'm not letting him do 25.

He's decided to do 25. He's given us an extra £5 free. Okay, go. Well, he does new material. Some crowdwork stuff for his new DVD. Yeah. Can I say... Steps all over some of your gear.

Your brother's one of my favorite people there. There was one point that I thought he was doing meet and greets at the interval. I was like, Dinn, come off. Anyway, so he's on stage. Gratz and, you know, Tommy, I have a Chris have all gone to watch Dinesh. I'm in the wings watching Dinnis. And all I can think of is there's six. crispy green donuts left.

Of course. So I sneak back. I don't get a strawberry one with cream in the middle. Nice. Eat that. And as I'm watching Dennis's set, a set that I'm a customer

I've seen a lot. I know it's coming to an end. And now I'm thinking, there's five crispy creams left. Yeah. Dinesh is going to come and have some. Yeah, he'll be celebrated. The more I eat the fewer he can have.

Also, just the fact, people are going to, like, I can't eat another one in front of everyone. So I ran back. Secret. And I ate another two. I was not expecting that. And I was just stood in my dressing room, stuffing, like, like it,

because you know you're in the dressing room, you can hear Dennis's set. Yeah. And I'm like listening to the bit, I know it, you know, where he's coming to the end. Yeah. I'm like, actually, like, and I thought, what am I doing? But number one, they're going to know that when they let, there's six left, there's four. Yeah, they'll know, yeah. And it's so tragic that they're going to go, oh my God.

he snuck back in here to eat these I were genuine wiping it off my face they came in Do you enjoy them though No Well that's the problem isn't it You're allowed to eat those donuts But also

There's no point if you're not You know I think I love the first one by the way Right Second one I mean this is a night Obviously it's diminishing returns on the donut The last two it was just

Never is going to be first Greed now It's like It's almost like you know You know like kings in sort of Or like, you know, I shall marry you because I don't want anyone else to be with you. Yeah.

That's how I felt. I didn't want anyone else to enjoy these donuts. And they all come in, they filed back in and the donuts were next to the door. And I saw each and every one of them go. I think that's in your head. Maybe. And then about,

there was three donuts left at that point. Did you experience any worry about the fact that those three donuts were going to go at that point? I mean, I'm going to tell you, they were gone when I came off stage because I would have eaten all the others. I feel like there was almost an intervention. So hold on.

How many Christmas, you've had one ring, a strawberry. Yeah. A Biscofe? Yeah. Biscoff. Is it Biscofe? Biscoff.

Biscophe. I've never heard it called Biscopet. And then what was the other one? I think everything should have an A at the end of Biscopet. And the last one was just like a simple sort of chocolate, dark chocolate one. I think it had honeycomb. Yeah. But can I say the last one was just, yeah.

That was a mission, I imagine. Yeah, it was a bit of a mission, but also that was the one I enjoyed the least. And also the one that I just stuffed in. It was almost, it could have been any flavour. So you ate it quickly. It was your fourth donut in about half an hour and you enjoyed it the least. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a lesson for all of us, isn't it? No, I mean, so then I'm literally now, oh, my stomach's, like, I did a show. A show is a lot of fun. We finished, and then I had two old fashions in the bar afterwards. Smart. Because I was like, I don't really want to get bloated. to her. So judging.

I so thought I was beyond this. It's so funny. You had two old fashions and that's you reining yourself in. Fucking hell. Anyway, go on. So yeah, two old fashions. How did they go down?

Like a drink. Yeah. And then I... Also, oh God, I forgot about this bit. Oh my God, this is... You know the hotel that we... It's a hotel we stayed at. No, you went at a double tree.

No, the wolf and owl. the hotel we stayed at Wolf and Out, a really nice hotel in Belfast, did a nice breakfast. I can't remember, the impetus, something like that. And they do, remember we had them, they do like these nice little, like picky bits

that they bring out. Oh, with the drinks? Yeah. Yeah, they've got the rice crackers, the popadoms and these other bow ones that's disgusting. I ate them. I'm sat, right?

And they put some down, Gratz and dinner, Shere here, and then Tommy are here. And they bring them out, and the lady brings one, for each sort of couple. And I was eating with Tommy and sort of didn't, it's very conservative, like he's sort of eating,

but he's not cocaine in it. He's pacing himself. Yeah. And then, before he fill up from the one don't I, I start eating from mine and Tommy, but I can see that I've got a battle on my hands with Tommy. He's like going in for it.

Yeah, he's hungry, he's got a hunger on as well. So you're getting nervous. And then I start sneakily when we're having a conversation, just grabbing it like, pitch from and I then asked the lady to bring another couple I said oh can you have you got any more she brings another couple out and your brother does this face he's genuinely went like like did he do that face yeah it was hilarious I don't think I've seen him do that was he was he taking the piss or just that was a genuine reaction you know I could see he knew how he knows how much

I was eating you know by the way your brother also because I'll get to his part of the story so we're then uh I didn't have them. Next morning, I wake up, another fry up. With a pan of chocolate and quassan chaser. By the way, eating in such a rush because I got up late. So, just wolfing it in. Oh, my God. Fucking hell.

This is all, by the way, I'm laughing. This is all stuff I would do. And then your brother had these pancakes. I was sort of wiring him off and your brother's protective like he's got a small dog and he's seen an excel bully for a he crossed the he was like oh no you're not having these mate um anyway I get back uh we land Tuesday I'm like I was recording another podcast uh but Tuesday lunchtime I get hit by this pain and I'm not joking like I was doubled up in a restaurant like and I was wet with sweat So hold on, when did you get back from Ireland?

I got back on Monday. Monday, and then rest of Monday, you're fine. A little bit, feel it a little bit, but then I'm like, yeah, I've eaten. Like, so, you're dealing with the excesses of the weekend. And also, yeah, I get back, I'm Miss Grace, I've missed caffeine. And that's, I then literally am like, oh, this is not good. I mean, I'm in a dilemma here. What's the dilemma?

What are the two options? Living and dying? It felt like that. I was so bad, right? I literally went, like, put my head down on the table, crunched it down and just lay on the table, and this woman was like, are you okay? And I was like, that was a Charlie Cooper.

Are you being serious? I swear, mate, Charlie. Because I imagine part of you's thinking I'm just going to stall this out until I get out. There was no, like, Charlie and James were like, mate, this is not good. Like, I was like, I'm going to get up, and it's going to have to have a walk.

Maybe it's like, try and go to a toilet and it's like my whole body is now just coutore it, like just awful pain. So I go and get some, um, ibuprofen. Yeah. I'm like, maybe it's just something I've eaten something, don't you?

Uh, I also, I, I turn to caffeine. I mean, caffeine, this is caffeine, very funny in retrospect, but she, I said, oh, I feel a bit of a bad tummy. And she said, why do you think that is? I said, I had a coffee at the airfield. And I don't think,

Jill Scott told me that, uh, quite a lot of the time, people don't wash out the milk jugs, some bristas. and then she would do you think that's it what else have you eaten this week that's what I was listing off the stuff that I'd eat and looking at your wife go

yeah I think it might be all that rather than rather than the residue from the inside of a milk jug at the airport what have you done to me so I was yeah like so Tuesday then so I get through Tuesday

get home Tuesday I didn't sleep a wink I was like genuine I've never been in so much pain comes into Wednesday like in bits and then Wednesday afternoon I just booked an emergency doctor's appointment went in she was like have you been like you've got serious like everything's inflamed your stomach or and your sofacus and I was like I've been having ibuprofen for the pain she was like you need to stop that now because I've proven because I haven't been eating because I'm in so much pain right so yeah and then so I've been having Pepto Bismore now and although

sorts of things to try and just like whatever I've you know what the excess of everything I had along with stress and whatever yeah stressed about because I knew this this is a new big record so we're talking about a flare up here as a result of your behaviour I think it's probably a flare up I'm not sure I mean it's literally my the diet when the woman sat me down and told me what I could eat for the next month I started crying genuinely is it honestly true yes right you know me but I think better than most people right when she's like laying down we just had this with the lovely woman who works at your office

and she's talking and she went, oh, my mum has what you have. Well, you're a dad. You're a dad. I'm like, it's like, I can't have any spice. I can't have any spice. But this is not permanently?

Well, hopefully, I mean. So how long is you? Like a month to two with different stuff. To two? Yeah. Okay, so a month to two of not having what? And you know me well, right, I think. I do know you well, yeah.

Ron, like, Catherine was like, I'm genuinely, what you're not eating. I couldn't eat anything up until Thursday. at all. I'm literally some dry crackers and even then I was like eating half a cracker and I can't eat anything more. So what are you not allowed to have? No spice. No spice. No tomato.

Nothing citrusy. No fizzy drinks. No alcohol. Like things like you can't. I have sweet corn. I love sweet corn. It's apparently it affects stuff. Right. Okay, go on. So for mango, pineapple as you know, massive mango head. Yeah. You love your, I mean you love your mango and sweet corn

don't you for breakfast. I love mango and everything. Yeah. So, Mango chocolate is gone. Maggot chocolate is out. Yeah. Catherine, by the way,

have mango chocolate. Well, luckily for you, it doesn't go with everything, so not that bigger deal. I already miss how it just salivates on my tongue. It's not that, just so you know,

that saliva is not being produced by the chutney. So, yeah, a very bland, boring diet. But that's, you need that? Yeah, I need a break. So what sort of stuff can you?

Because this is the part of, problem psychologically we're looking at all the things you can't have what can you have like fucking boiled chicken don't say fucking that's part of the problem isn't it okay boiled chicken poached white fish

rice mashed potato mashed potato is nice yeah not every day for fucking two months students I'm fucking, like, genuine, if I get through it. What else? What else could you have?

I had to stew apple in front of my wife yesterday. I had to stew an apple. So you can't have the regular apple. You have to stew it first. No, no, you've got to stew it. How'd you stew an apple? Are you joking? No.

You just put a little bit of water. Oh, okay, fine. Cut skin off, a little bit of sugar. But can we be careful? No honey. No maple syrup. What was a stewed apple like? It was not. I mean, it was stewed apple.

Well, I don't know. mate. It's exactly what he said it would be on the tin. It's, yeah. Stude apple, yeah. Bananas, I've got to be careful not to go too crazy. He told that by a doctor. Can I have bananas?

Yeah, but don't go crazy. I don't go crazy with those bananas. You chill out those. All right, yeah, no, thank you. Just not six at a time. So you're allowed to raw dog then? Yeah, I can have a raw banana. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Rubarb, apparently, is good. Right. Can you see you stewed? Yeah, it's stewed rubble. You can't have rhubob. Rubel's really dangerous here at all for anyone. Right, okay.

So stewed rhubarb. Yeah. And that's pretty much, you know, I like a fruit and fibre in the morning to keep me regular. Got to be careful of that. You can't have fruit and fibre? She's like, don't go crazy with fruit and fibre. Don't go crazy with fruit and fibre.

That's my life at a moment. Okay. I've gone from literally going, and by the way, this is such a tom thing to do. I've got, like, it wasn't like, you know what, I'll have two points of Guinness and I'll have a burger and everything else will be in moderation and one crispy

cream donut. It's like literally you know it's like it was like that I'm in the canteen as the Titanic's going down and I've got all these foods and I'm just absolutely getting stuck in the wife's waiting for you to come back to the room I can laugh at it. Let's just make sure you come back and say you love me before we go down

I'll tell you in a minute there's six crispy creams that have been here. Cut them up into quarters Okay, well look, that's very sad I'm sorry that's happened to you But you know what, it's an eye opener Age brother

And also, the other thing I'd say is It might be worth like Looking at how to sort of imaginatively make those foods More interesting, you know You know what? Like mango chutney Yeah

Like seracha Even tomato ketchup Yeah, you can't have Aoi What's that one? The mayonnaise of garlic Ayoli I can never say that

John's another those right they're like staples I think one of the things that would help your diet just don't say things just don't eat things you can't pronounce I could do

I reckon that's a good diet for you that's why I let that say Krispy Krim. At Desjardin our business is helping yours we are here to support your business through every stage of growth from your first pitch to your first acquisition

whether it's improving cash flow or exploring investment and banking solutions with Desjardin business it's all under one roof so join the more than 400,000 Canadian entrepreneurs who already count on us and contact Desjardin today we'd love to talk business um okay but let's try and give you a pep talk though yeah yeah two months time two months yeah and actually what i think we're all guilty of yeah is like you don't save your food right we We don't savour our food. I've got to eat slower as well.

That's the other thing. But what I'm saying is, you're going to have a taste bud reset. Imagine what it's going to feel like. There's so many details of this that's just embarrassing and this is the only place I share them. Yeah, sure. The woman said, do you eat quickly? I said, yeah. I mean, you've been out to eat with me.

Yeah, it's crazy. She went, I need you to count and you've got a mouthful. So if you put a mouthful of food in, I need you to go, Oh, I had to do this. All right. 10. 9. 10.

You're supposed to chew your food 16 times, I believe. Yeah, well, she said 10. Yeah, she knows what she's doing. Did her with a man who ate six crispy creams in four bites. 16's for the big boys. Okay?

So, in all seriousness, did it freak you out? Psychologically, what did it do to you? Like, genuinely, being terrified. I'm not gonna like like when you're in that much pain don't sugar goate you're not allowed to for two months but but how how bad did you feel awful yeah and I'm gonna say now like proper like I've taken my health for granted I'm like absolute agony like to the point of tears I'm not even sorry that you went through that it was awful and and then on the you know flip of it you just feel very you know like I say I sort of have done a lot of self work of like I you know, the drinking, and I spoke to you privately about this, but there is an element of that being like almost destructive. That's how I slightly was like, oh shit. It's something twisted and clicked in me to,

because I've been very strong for four years ago, even if I've had a pint or, you know, been out watching football, boxing, not had a drink, rugby, I've got, I can quite happily go, and all of a sudden, I didn't just go, I'm going to have a pint. I went to another level and that for me is quite worrying

well yes but I get that and I like you know obviously I've just spent this whole time sort of having fun with it but like to talk seriously about it for a minute it's that thing of you know you and I are now at the age

where you know in your 20s you do stuff like that and that's just like considered like a bit of a weekend where it got a bit out of control you're not going to suffer repercussions from that but we are at the age where I don't know you're necessarily expecting to suffer those repercussions but you know it's happened it happens but you also got to be kind to yourself like if you think about it like without getting too like wo is us you've been filming non-stop right you've been working on this tour show you then gone in to do the start doing the tour those are all stress those are all quite stressful things and you've been really busy and trying to be a present husband and father those things are all pulling on you right And then you go to Ireland for shows that you're nervous about because you want your torture to be good.

Why shouldn't you go, do you know what? I need to find an outlet to enjoy myself a little bit. Why shouldn't you do that? I think you need to be kind to yourself, if I'm being honest, because you just decided I want to have a bit of fun. Think about the weekend where Din, Tommy and Gratz are all like, you know, having a great time. And the person whose tour it is is not doing that. And I'm not saying go to the extreme that you did, but what I would say is I've done that so many times, all the time.

You're busy, you go into something and you think, I want to enjoy myself and say you enjoy yourself. It's unfortunate that it's had this repercussion. Yeah. But don't be horrible to yourself about it. Like, you know, don't start thinking, I'm that guy, I'm that guy. I'm just giving you advice because I'm the same. I just think that you just got to go.

I had a bit of a thing. I've had a shot across the bow. I've got to be careful for a bit because I've had a bit of a flare up. But at the end of the day, nobody could have predict... I mean, I know you're laughing as you're listing the staff.

Nobody could have predicted it would have led to you doubled over. Do you know, that's just one of those things. Also, I think it is that thing of health, but it's also an air of recklessness that I live... But that, I think, is part of your... You know, how you've been not brought up is wrong.

Your childhood and growing up. But also, this happens to us, man. you just get busy and I remember when I was teaching I like got into a thing of like drinking quite heavily in the evenings because when I became head of year I was starting I was turning up at work at 7am

I'd be there till 6 in the evening I'd come back and I'd have to do marking and then it gets to like 839 o'clock and you think what the fuck is my life I'm going to have a few drinks and then it got me to the point where I realised I wasn't getting through an evening without having a bottle of a bottle and a half of

wine, do you mean? And then you start and then, but that's because you're trying to find somewhere to and that's what you did. You're so hectic. And I'm not saying like you would dying to have eight guineas or whatever. No, no, no. But you're trying to have a break. Like, you don't know you are, but you'll work, work, work, because of the circumstances of what your last few months have been. And then you go on the thing and you think, fuck it, I'll have a break. And that's, that the truth is, that's why work life balance is so important because. Yeah. That's the conversation I've had with Catherine Since and it is that thing like and she's loving

and being very supportive but is you know that thing of going actually having that time where you just go and I do something for myself that isn't because it's very easy to undistinguish between what is work and what is life yeah because you enjoy work because I'm blessed I love doing what we do for a living I feel very lucky you're very lucky

you're very lucky I'm one of the luckiest guys in the industry I'm so close to the edge we'll do a whole episode about that at some point but no but I do realize the like but then also they're just doing socially doing stuff but also as I say that you know you talk about you know that was always my life up until really you know Grace was born was always getting on that yeah five and six points a night and there was an

air of reckless like in this to me and I think that's that's the thing that I've very much tried to go actually that's like that's not who I am anymore and that's it's very difficult to do that when that is fundamentally at times when you know you're dealing with a lot of stress and you're dealing with a lot of different stuff and you're going all right okay how do I best compartmentalize this and you actually all you get to a point

then you go oh no this is the way because that's how you all that's my natural go to and I think that's where I probably should have opened up and you know again not to I'm not going to get too into stuff but I talked to you like as a you know called you this week and that was a lot

for me of going I sort of, you know, had kept a lot of stuff in myself. And I think actually just speaking to you or Catherine was saying I probably should have done before I went. And as serious, and I'm making light of it because again, that's part of what we do. But yeah, I think it's like that's where, it's been a bit of an eye opener, both health-wise,

but mentally as well just to go actually, you know, you know, I built what I thought was quite a strong mindset and actually taking a couple of little things and I've gone back to a place where I was like oh actually it's not necessarily where I want to be. Yeah. It's a real fun one to come back to this. Listen man, I think we've done the funny,

we've done the deep, you know? It's what the war finale is, baby. It's what the war finale is, you know. If you're hoping for the same heady mix of more tonal changes than an episode of the one show, congratulations. We are back. Please, could you make sure that you like and subscribe?

We need all the support we can get, don't we? Yeah, we do. We don't really. We don't need all the support we can get. No, but you know, if you like and subscribe, you get all of these, right? This is how we're doing it from now on. Plus, we might do some breakout things. We've got some exciting plans, haven't we?

We have got some very excited. I should ask how you are. It doesn't matter. We'll talk about it next time. Now, people are sitting there watching going, fucking hell they've got statues they've got a big set of bed sheets surely they're not going to change it so much as to lose the big tom closer you know what but listen you haven't spoken much on this app let's give you an opportunity just like it okay take us out this please take us out

this god god diamonds and stones sometimes you can feel a bit million bucks walking around with a diamond laced around your neck yo friend nice diamond Truth is, sometimes, sometimes you're not carrying a diamond because the diamond that you see in front of you is actually just a stone. What am I talking about? Heavy hearts, I guess. Big hearts, pretense.

Yo, nice mask. That's not a mask. It's just my face. Truth is disguise is a very apparent thing. We're all doing it all the time. I'm doing it now. I'm laughing. when actually I'm trying to be earnest, or am I?

I've got no idea what's going on. But the truth is, strapping into a new car or putting on a new pair of trainers sure can feel nice. But nothing feels as good as actually relaxing, sitting down with an old friend, looking them in the eye as they look you in the eye. And maybe they'll pour a coffee or a tea or some peptobismo

and say, is everything okay? and you look at them back and go, well, let me tell you, I've got a few things at my mind and that's what life should be. One ear, listening to one mouth, all about the gravy baby. Yeah, or two is, you can listen with two ears.

That was, it was quite, yeah. It was quite an emotional one. It was initially about diamonds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I realized, yeah. Disguises. I genuinely thought I'd have a little bit of time when we talked about your life

to think about what I was going to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what happens when you extend your story. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Boom. This episode of The War for now, we'll see you next time. Oh, I should say, we should say this right at the beginning. I've got some great news for you.

Two Epps a week, baby. Two Eps a week. That is a cast iron guarantee, unless we're away and we can't be bothered. No, I'm joking. That's a cast iron guarantee. Well, we contractually, we have to do that. We have to do that. We do that.

So one app will be this, where Tom tells a story, and we don't have time to find out about me. And the other rep. But you could listen to your other podcasts for that. You're talking to a guest. The other ep, the other ep, the other ep is emails. So Wolfelpod at gmo.com, send those in. See you next time.

Bye-bye.