Wolf and Owl - School Bullies, Racism & Toilet Catastrophes

Episode Date: August 27, 2026

How would you handle a school bully? In this episode of Wolf & Owl, Romesh opens up about being bullied at school and he shares a story about a fight that left a lasting impression. The boys discuss racism and answer an email on how to deal with your child being bullied. Elsewhere, they tackle a particularly unfortunate skid mark scenario before getting into some important toilet tips courtesy of Tom. Another week, another collection of questionable stories and life lessons from Wolf & Owl. A Ranga Bee Production in partnership with Platform Media. If you've been thinking about therapy, BetterHelp can help you take the first step. Sign up and get 10% off at https://www.BetterHelp.com/wolfowl Chapters 00:00 Intro 03:01 School bullying and racism  05:05 Romesh’s school fight 11:00 How to handle it 15:31 A skid mark scenario 12:51 Some safety advice 24:01 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Yo, what do you want? Beak or jaws, feathers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, whatever's prefer. Just kidding every word in his song's about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. E email, when rum says e-email. Welcome to the email edition of the Wolfenau. Yacht. We were doing some emails for you. Wolfouteport at GMO.com if you want to send in a query.

Like, subscribe. On opinion. Yeah. Like, subscribe. All that big stuff. Keep reposting the clips. The clips are doing great. You don't have to repost the clips.

This is nice if you do, though. Yeah. Really, really gather momentum. Get some people going, oh my God, these two have got a podcast. Yes. Yeah. I do think we've promoted it now. Yeah, I think, by the way, yeah.

I need to shout out the people now behind the scenes. Yeah. For the first time of a long time, I feel like people actually go, oh, so you have got a podcast. Yeah. Yeah. I've had one for six years that everyone goes, you should do a podcast. Everyone's good one now. I was all composed of bar last night after a gig.

Yeah. And a load of people shouted out, well, for now, well for now. So I was a talking about it's pretty good. This is none of your jokes. It's not? Really? Yeah. Okay, wow.

Okay. What a shit joke that would be, by the way. Some of your jokes can be a bit like that. You can get away with that stuff. What do you mean? You can say stuff in that, in your tone. And I believe, it's not me that. Oh, believe you.

You know that I'm like, huh? What? Yeah. And you go, I'm joking. And I go, oh, I really like the idea of that. I've joking, of course. That would never happen. Do you know what I think?

I think onions are getting above their station. I'm getting fed up of onions walking around, giving it a Billy Big Bulls. Hey, you know an onion? You know when I see it, like, I do? Hey, you know an onion called the other day for you and said, you're amazing? Of course it didn't.

Unions don't talk. I think an onion would be a good friend for you. He's got lots of layers. And he can go with anything. And you're just sharp. bitter a little bit like me why are you doing that with your face

I love this this is a new year hmm I'll teach him a lesson you can say anything I'll fool for it because I love you well if you

unbuckle your jeans and take them down why I'll do it if you want me to I've got to say buckles are really underrated not enough people talk about

about buckles. You know, do you know what? I feel sorry for buckles. They're just walking around going, oh, I'm holding on as tight as I'm down. Do they ever get any credit? No, they bloody don't. You know what?

I'd like to go up to the inventor of buckles and suck him off. Do you know who invented buckles? Louis Capaldi. No, he didn't. It's that face. That makes you the... Two and five Canadians will hear the words

you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca. Right, first email. Do you want to read it or shall I?

I think this is a you one. Lads, lads, lads! You! Big fan of the pod. That's how the podcast started. The email started, by the way. Big fan of the pod and I thought I'd reach out for a bit of advice. I'm a second generation Chinese, 47-year-old British chap.

My son is a 14-year-old Waysian legend. He's very cool, funny, good-looking, ridiculously clever, and captain the school football team, yes. I am jealous. Sounds a bit like Theo? Yeah. Yeah. God. You've literally become that guy, isn't it?

Oh, God. It's infected me. We've originally got a call from the school is you got into a fight. Now, despite all the admirable attributes our boy has, height, strength, and overall body mass, like me, aren't part of the collection.

So this is surprising. The other boy, a friend allegedly called him the C word, often used by boomers, to describe a Chinese takeaway. Not once, not twice, but indeed thrice. The third time our mini-mey went straight up to the agitator and punched him. You punched with an exchange

before being separated. Now, here's the issue. We've explained to him in a very dad-like way that it was very different back in my day, and the only way to deal with this ship was to fight, 3 and O, by the way. However, what I don't want is for him to feel the same way I did when I was racial abuse as a kid.

The truth is, I was never taught how to do with it properly. I just felt an instant hurricane of sadness and anger. My wife, a very sensible white ex-police sergeant, says they're just words and violence. It's never the answer, but I do feel it's very difficult to explain to someone that feeling. Rolmish, I'm not sure if you felt this way. I've no doubt you've experienced similar throughout your life

being literally ever in the mainstream UK media, and that's a compliment. Part of me is a little bit proudly stuck up for himself. The other 14-year-old he had the fight with his weirdly six-foot-three in an absolute unit. I've also told them about the importance of choosing your battles.

But ultimately, I don't want him to feel ashamed, belittled, angry and sad like I did when I was a kid. I guess what I'm asking, particularly, Rommish, is what do you say to your boys when dealing with this bullshit? I hasten, do I would value any input from the Mighty Tom 2.

It's good to hear from a victim and an aggressor, I think. Me and Said Son are coming to see him in September in Ramsgate, home of the world's biggest weather spoons. All the best lads, proud panda. Tom. Well, I mean, I think this is...

Well, look, I can relate to both of these things. I got racially abused at school quite a lot and I got stuff like slurs thrown at me a fair bit. And I remember once I was walking out of school and there was this kid that was sort of known for being racist he just spat on me. You spat on? Yeah, as I was walking out of school.

But it was like, yeah, it's horrible. So you just get shit. I used to get shit like that. And once I was... Mate, actually, this is quite a funny. There's a kid I'm not going to name him, but there's a kid. massive.

And we were at... So there was big kids, which really makes me as what was a big kid, quite sad. But there was like a little subway like just across from the front of the school. Yeah. And that's where all the fights used to happen.

So one day, we're watching the school football match, a school football match. And I walked over to him and I was saying something to him and he basically called me a P word. Yeah. Right.

So I sort of said to him You know, we got a bit aggressive, but the guy was huge and I was scared. But at the same time, I wanted to do something about it. Because it was such a, you know, obviously, like that hurricane of sadness is accurate, right? It's just like a horrible, horrible reminder of like how some people feel about it or whatever. So then I off, I basically said, we're going to sort this out, right? I didn't want to, but I just felt like I had no choice, right? Yeah.

So then there's quite a lot of Asian kids in my, in my years. group and they said they were like egging me on and they're going look we've got your back we've got your back do da da da and um so it was the day that we're due to have the fight so imagine being at school

the whole day that's all everyone focuses yeah and everyone's talking about it everyone's coming up to me going you definitely gonna like you you're gonna turn up and and I'm going yeah yeah yeah he shouldn't have said it he shouldn't have said it I'm but shitting yeah it's like doing a git or it's worse than a gig fucking shit in my school by the way now it's probably invested

And then I get to, like, as the end of the day's approaching, I'm just like, there's no way. This guy's going to fucking pulverize me, but I've said it now, do you know what I mean? Because I don't want to back down. So, end of school, everybody is like at that end of the school, right? Popcorn. Yeah, biscuits. Properly. Go down to the subway, just kids lining the whole things everywhere, right?

What was the, how were they like greeting you when you turned up? I think they just wanted to see a fight. I mean, like, it wasn't like, you didn't feel, they didn't feel like animosity, but there weren't people going, kill him, Rommish, kill him. But they were like, I had a group of like people with me

that were just like, sort of, you know. Anyway, so I'm waiting in the subway. And I'm like, basically, I'm waiting to get my head kicked in it because there's no way I win this fight, right? But I've got to stand up for myself, blah, blah, blah. I bet it was one wise ass kid, he was like, get man, Morgan.

Yeah, all that. I mean, there's nobody believe that I had a chance in this. But they, I think that's what, It sort of made it... There were some people's support him as I couldn't believe that I'd offer this guy. Anyway, I don't know why.

But for some reason, his ass went and he didn't turn up. I have got no idea why. Did you never see him again? I saw him at school. Yeah, but then he's a chicken. Yes. I don't know what happened, right?

All I can tell you is we waited like... By the way, there's very few reasons you chicken out of a fight like that. Like, you know what your mum's called your home? Chicken. Yeah. You got something else on? Chicken.

Yeah. You're a fucking chicken. You're a piece of shit anyway. Yeah. There's another Asian guy that you've got to have a fight with because you called him a P-word. Yeah. Anyway, the basic weapon was is enough time and elaps. Yeah, but the nobility thrown on you then.

My God. That was some of my, those were my halcyon days at school. Wow. Holy shit. I'll come in the next day. Just explain for listeners who might not know what's halcyon mean. That was when I was in my pomp. Okay.

Like really good. Yeah. That was, I was like Marvel, like in the Infinity Wars era. Oh my days. Do you know what I mean? Like at the absolute top of my game. People go, oh my God, I can't believe it. Can't believe in charge.

You've won the fight? Yeah. People like, I've basically. And also, by the way, you've got a certain candace then until like, you have to have another fight of Ramesh, Ranghanan is the hardest guy in the school. But then, obviously, I then had to do the thing of like, are you going to like, are you gutted? Like, do you want to sort? And I go, no, I think he's got the message.

I think, I don't think there needs to be a rematch, put it that way. Well, I think the whole thing about a rematch is you have to have a match, you have a rematch and he was too. To turn up. Then at uni, we were, like, it's happened a few times. We've got jumped by skinheads when I was coming out of a club in a union and stuff like. So it happens. Anyway, so I do think it was worse back then.

However, the boys have had, like, racism. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not loads, not as much as I did. but they have had it like comments and stuff I remember like we had a bit of an incident I think I've said

I don't know if I've said this before but somebody one of the kids I think it might have been Theo was chatting to a girl like you know it's just some friend at school and one of the other kids said

I don't know why you're bothering to chat to her you're going to end up marrying your cousin or something like that right so Theo came home and told us but I feel like the board boys, and they've had like, Alex has had the P word, like, said to him, do you know what I mean,

when he's been walking around school? You think that's now because of the world has become more people of, well, I think, possibly. But I think at a certain point you've got to go, they're obviously hearing that at home. So whenever, whenever I see that or I hear that a kid's done it, I'm then the next time I see their parents, I'm thinking you're racially, probably racist, right? Do you know what I mean? And that's a horrible thing.

I actually think I get that your son wanted to defend himself In my opinion I think racism is horrible and abhorrent I think it's a mistake to supercharge it And what I mean by that is

If somebody calls you a racial slur And it immediately ignites you It gives that person power over you, I think Do you mean? So they know if they say that word they can get like a rise out of you. I remember once I was walking past the pub and this guy,

this is like maybe, my dad had just passed away, so this must have been, so I was in a bad way mentally and I think my friends had taken me out, my brother and I are at dinner, out for a drink to sort of like, do you know what I mean,

just to sort of, and we were walking past this pub and this guy started shouting, he sort of targeted me, but I was with, anyway, he started shouting to me going, um, so many racial,

like so much racist stuff. It was like pretty unprovoked. So much like levering me with like racial slurs. And I turned around and I was in the mood to like, I was in a bad place. And I turned around and then this guy, really lovely guy,

ran from like somewhere else and came and grabbed me and he said, I know you're angry. And he said, but he's saying whatever he possibly can to provoke people because he's been looking for a fight, right? He's been saying each other. So then I realized this guy's just saying, it to rile me up.

And then I realized that actually we're giving those words like power, do you know what I mean? And I think like actually you want to kind of, I'm not saying you shouldn't react to racism, but I'm saying that immediately leading you to be violent is not something I want my kids to do, do you know what I mean? And I get

why the panda is saying I was sort of proud because you do want to stick up for yourself. But actually, I think just meeting it with violence probably isn't the way. Although, you know, if my kids if my kids did something like that, I would find it difficult to really panic,

to be angry with them. Yeah, I think you, yeah, because, yeah. Because it's like, it's just a horrible thing, do I mean? It's awful, man. Yeah. It's all, like, yeah. And you, I mean, I don't know if you want to give it your story from the other side of that.

Yeah, I mean, I was just thinking, why would you say, why did you say, I'll come and laugh. Um, um, um, oh, oh, why so sensitive? Um. chill out Christ, man

live for the moment if you don't like the chat go home The reason I couldn't get down to the big The underpass for a fight was I had to go to my grandhouse And she was ill Um

I had weird One of the first ever times I've really witnessed anything like that We were I was like we were filming a thing And we were There was like four actors

In the back of a car And one of them was quite drunk and he just with what you're saying about the guy outside the pub and he started digging me out about something and was just trying to provoke me and I was whatever and then tried to do it to another this other actor tried just to provoke him trying to and then when it came to a turn of the fourth guy it was it was a racial thing

he just went in with racism and at that point the guy you know the guy went to hit the guy being racist and I was like that you you know as the only two you know I was the only two you know I I just jumped in and was like, if you hit him, tomorrow it's not about. Like what this guy said is you've hit this guy. And he was a bigger name than the rest of us. My thing with, but it was one of the few times,

and then just sat with this guy afterwards for an hour or so. And he was just in tears and you're just like, fuck, like this. Just to see someone just go from this to this to almost the most abhorrent thing, just to get a rise out of someone. And clearly that was the thing that spiked. and yeah i mean personally i'd i'd find it yeah i'd find it very hard not to feel a certain level of pride or anything in the fact that you the son has stuck up for himself um and like in any situation it's just yeah it's the worst i've find it very soul-destroying yeah yeah when you hear of it

of it happening especially you know at that age yeah you know kids getting that kind of using that kind of language is very, very sad. Yeah. Anyway, long mate continue. I'm all right. Should we get to the next one? Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters.

On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. This is an advertisement from BetterHelp. Now, anyone who listens to this show regularly knows that mental health comes up a lot

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Which honestly is the bit that makes. it actually doable rather than just another thing you mean to get around to, but don't. If you've been thinking about therapy, BetterHelp can help you take the first step. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com slash wolf owl. That's betterh-e-l-p.com slash wolf owl. Hey, mateys. I've recently started facing a regular problem, mainly at work, where the toilets I go to use are utterly covered in skid marks. Oh, God.

Obviously, this is, by the way, we just had a really highbrow one where, you know, and then the bushes are very much... It's quite appropriate, isn't because probably a person of colour doing that. Hopefully, this isn't much of a big deal, but it's happening so frequently now. I'm slowly starting to despair. Aside from being fucking disgusting, I met with quite an issue when I stumbled across said stains. Do I clean the shit stains out, or do I leave them? Well, I can tell you, if you're going to the rang, a bee officers, the answer is leaving

them. I've been there for three weeks, man, that's all I'm saying. Has there been shit stains in the toilet? Yeah, the men's toilets is a big skid mark. Is that? I'm joking, of course. Oh, I'm for you're serious. Oh, it's just rummished you.

So when you came to Crawley to that gig and somebody had shut on the floor? That was, by the way, one of the most disgusting things I ever heard about. Thanks for coming around, though. All right, let's go. Shout out dinners. Do I clean the shit stain? or do or leave them. My gut reaction is always

no fuck that. The previous shit in Gimp should have sorted it out like the adults they are. However, my paranoid brain is therefore I'm in where someone uses a toilet right after me

and thinks I'm the grotty little trail man who leaves shite round for all to see. It's generally baffling that these feral, fecal phantoms can do this so shamelessly and I'm reduced to cleaning up after these fuckers like some kind of poo cuck. This is incredible writing.

Is there even a solution to this? I was considering making some signs shaming them to stick around the pod. Maybe you should, you both have an idea. If not, at least I'm helped to fill the pods poo quota for this episode.

All the best. AJ, AJ, great email. Well, that's not only Joshua, is it? Yeah, it is, 100%. As if it was. Eddie Hearns, fucking, you know, Skinners. This is, I weirdly,

we have this at the office is at my work. So the offices at my work, the toilet at my offices is, is, any say like, fucking, male filmway toilets. What's it called? That fucking anyone can use them. Unisex. Jesus Christ.

I'm fucking sparring. So they're unisex toilets. Anyone can use them. Was it difficult to remember the word when you say disgusted by the concept? No, no. But my big thing about that is, right, if it's just male toilets. There's a certain level of depravity you're allowed it to decline to. Right. If you're following me into the toilet, there's...

You don't care how you live, I know. I remember King Gary. We didn't share a toilet at King. Flushing optional on the King Gary, so... But there's people who do it at our office, where you go in the toilet. And that feeling of like, I'm going to have to clean this up, because quite a lot of the time, there's people waiting to go in after you. If you come out on this skid marks, then the more shaming thing of having to go,

oh, that wasn't me, by the way. I've never done that. No, no, no, no. It's too different, you can't pull it off. No. Not even you. Yeah, no. And also, by the way, I looked like it probably was me.

Yeah. Yeah, I have that look. Yeah. I can't think of anybody, and it sounds like an insult, but it isn't because I love you. I can't think of a description of anybody or a look of anybody that would look more like they'd lift skid marks on the pan than you. Yeah. Yeah, I have that look about it. Yeah.

Can I say, by the way, little, little tip, if you're going to go for that kind of poo, try and hold your wee in, turn around and do you piss afterwards and see. Jesus fucking Christ. What? That's a fucking great tip. You jet wash them off yourself after. It's one of the joys of having a penis. It's like you turn around

square it all the way. It's gone. Frust the chain afterwards, obviously. You know, that's, but I would say this, it's very hard, the sign thing,

where do you say, because I don't think you can leave the sign saying, I don't think the signs will do anything. You're dealing with it ready. And then it will lead to an investigation as to who put the signs up. Yeah. And then you don't want to,

to be like the toilet sign person, do you? No. But it is, like, what do you think if people not looking people, because I'm, by the way, because I look like that person, I'm really fucking I'm quite anal about it. Yeah, I tend to clean up. Yeah, I do. You clean up

other people's. Yeah. If I'm going for a wee. Unless it's really bad, in which case I probably won't use the toilet, but genuinely, generally I would clean up, yeah. Do you ever do it where you go in and you see the skids, but you know, you use the toilet and go, Christ

that the person behind you Jesus I'll take a bullet here you're right no I'll reach your head back

go out this one's going to hurt no no I wouldn't do that really what do you mean reach your head back

no before you close the door like you're going into sort of like a ride oh let me be clear if

if there's someone else in the toilet I'm not going into the cubicle you don't go for a boo not if there's someone else sir

no you know this I'm a I'm a Himeshy sir Yeah, so even if I was going to the toilet. If you're in Luke Coombs and you need to poo, what are you doing? I'm not going.

I've got worse, by the way, since I've been hanging out of you a lot. What does that mean? I used to poo anywhere. I was like a fucking horse. Now I'm like, literally, since I've, me and you've talked to me about this home. Catherine's like, if you need the toilet, just go. I'm like, now I'd go. I used to be fine.

It'd be really relaxed. Went for a poo at your house, I'll be fine. Now, if I was at your house, I'd go, well, I'd probably get a snow. I don't know how this is bad news. No, but I... You're no longer going to shit at my house when you come around. No, but I'm just saying that's gone from. And now I actually look at people who do it and go,

I'm fucking full credit to you, just relax. I don't want to get too disgusting. One of the biggest, I just think, I just find it so hard to go for shit somewhere else. It would have to be an emergency situation. Also, but I enjoy shitting so much. I genuinely, it's one of my favorite things to do. Like, genuinely, like, you know, and I want to enjoy that.

I don't want to be there with someone knocking on the door or fucking, you hear some people chatting outside. Yeah, so I do understand your home shy stuff theory. If you're at a gig, the toilets are busy the whole time. Yeah. I mean, just sort of... Not Luke Coombs. People are out there, mate, watching him. Okay, but still.

Yeah. I just find it difficult. Can I just say, by the way, yeah. Gig-wise, if you're about to go on stage, where are you with using the green room toilet for a poo? The green room? Yeah. What do you mean? A tors shop.

No, no, no, no. We're on a mixed bill. No. No. Where you go? You're dying for a poo. Do you go in that green room? or do you go into the...

I would wait to my set's over. You can't fucking go on stage needing the shit. I would... You can't, wrong. I would... I would make an excuse

and go to like a toilet, a hotel nearby. Wow. That's pretty cool. It's not cool. Like a special agent. Yeah. Do you pretend you're staying there?

That's what I do. Oh, I love this place. Oh, hello, mate. I always have a little chat. Yeah, the problem is if you're recognisable, it's a bit of an issue, because then they sort of... Didn't know you were staying here,

Mr. Rangang? Yeah, for three nights, thank you, Jeeves. Yeah, I'm actually booked in for about, I reckon. You're not just... Eleven minutes. Have you ever had anyone talk to you like that, though? What? Well, I...

So, there's a toilet near my office that I do go to in a hotel. Shut off. And I've sneaked... Two and five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar-raised matters. On September 19th, joined thousands and... Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving

research. Together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcf walk.ca.ca. In there, and they got one of those dormant people on there. So I go past him because I'm like, if I go out in the back and then out of the front, he's not going to And I sort of, so I went in and he went, oh, morning, sir. I said, hello, mate, you're at probably breakfast meeting. And he went, oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, yeah, yeah, I'm running a bit late.

So sprint to a tour and I do my business. I then leave from the front thinking he's around the back. He's come around the front for a chat at the dormant at the front. And he just looked to me, went, very quick meeting, sir. I'm like, oh, no, he knows. He knows. Or he might just think he might be a complete idiot. But this is why I'd never make a good special.

agent or a James Bond. You know, like, Daniel, even Daniel Craig, as Daniel Craig. I think there's other reasons. Yeah, but Daniel Craig would sneak in and out, even as Daniel Craig had head down, he'd just go, oh, sorry, did you just have someone here? Like that, and then, better to ghost out the front without even, even your fucking sneaky. That's one of the things you've got, you're fucking great at.

I can't imagine, you'd be able to sneak in, sneak out, I reckon without anyone noticing. I've not got that. I find it hard. Right. That's all we've got time for, Tom. Two emails, wow. Yeah. Ben is, by the way, can I just say, Ben is so precise.

He's just solely written on the screen we have in front of us. Rapp. So, Rommish, without further ado, wrap us out. Thank you for listening to the Wolf and the Al email special. See you next time. Please like and subscribe. Email to Wolf owlpod at gmail.com. See you next time.

Bye.