Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Bigger, Better, and Bolder w/ Jennifer Cohen

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Sis, would you rather walk around with rejection or regret? Here to help us answer this question is best-selling author, international speaker, podcaster, and entrepreneur Jennifer Cohen! She and SJR are urging the girls to take up space and be B O L D! Sure, rejection may hurt for a moment, but regret lasts a lifetime. Therefore, go after the life you want! Today’s episode is about harnessing a skillset to compete with your self-sabotage, self-rejection, and self-doubt—all of which be so quick to count you out of the fight before even steppin’ into the ring. But not this time Queen, so gloves on & hands up! This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp.com/Evolve +Skims.com. CLAIM your listener perks now!

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody like that. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God party for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Child. So if you haven't been around very long, then you may not know the fullness of my story. Maybe you saw a clip on social media. You heard a message on YouTube and you just started following me because you saw something that you felt connected to. Well, for those of you who don't know, I share it as frequently as I can, but some still don't that I got pregnant. I was 13 years old. I had my son and 14. I thought that that was basically the fullness of what happened in that moment. It wasn't until I entered my 30s, got into some

therapy that I realized that though that is what happened, I didn't really do the work to dissect who I became as a result of it. I have been thinking for the last 20 years that I'm not very bold, that I would rather just kind of be in the corner that I don't like to take up space, that I am not someone who was bold. But what I am learning is that I really sacrificed being bold when I got pregnant because I felt like bold is probably why you was out here being fast and got pregnant. Bold is probably why you ended up in this situation.

You need to be less bold. Then I started thinking beyond when I got pregnant and back when I was a little girl and some of the things that my family Tell me that I would say are a reflection of how bold I used to be The crazy thing about life is that we often start off with the characteristic that we lose along the way Thinking that because of what happened to us or because of what someone said to us We should no longer own that part of who we are

because of what someone said to us, we should no longer own that part of who we are. But the truth is, sometimes that part of who we are, it needs to be polished, it needs to be smoothed out, it needs some wisdom, but it should not die. I started really tapping into my boldness again and finding a way to make sure that it was measured with wisdom and intentionality and grace and strength. And what I learned is that while I did not think that I was bold anymore, that God was still showing up for me in bold ways. He allowed me to get a job I had no experience for.

He allowed me to start a blog that ended up attracting literally millions of views. He allowed my voice to be used in a way that I never thought was possible. God was being bold with me, but I wasn't sure that I could match God's boldness. Until I decided that I would be willing to take the chance, risk the vulnerability,

to say, God, if you've been bold and placing me in this family, you've been bold and giving me this gift and this talent, you've been bold and keeping me alive, then maybe I should actually do something with it. If you're like me and somewhere along the way, your boldness died, you experienced a failure, a rejection, something that made you think you were better off doing nothing at all, then this podcast is for you. We're going to talk about how you can get to a place of being bigger, better, and bolder

so that you can reign in the face of your enemies. And when I say enemies, I'm not talking about the people who are talking about you. I'm not talking about those people who were sleep on you. I'm talking about the inner me that makes you believe that you do not deserve to have a life that is bigger, better, and bolder. That ends today.

I want you to grab a pin, a piece of paper, open up the notes in your phone because I have with us, Jen Cohen. She is the host of habits and hustles, but beyond that, she is an incredible author. And she is going to give you practical tools that you can apply tomorrow to start being confident bold bold but most importantly becoming all of who got us called you to be. I cannot wait to meet the bigger, better bolder version of who you are. Let's get started. So I feel like one of the areas where a lot of women in particular struggle with

really taking up space and choosing to live a life that is bold is that we often find ourselves trying to get permission from other people, from our family, from our communities. And I cannot imagine a better person than Jen Cohen. I like to call her Miss Big Bad and Bold, but she's actually bigger, better and bolder than probably any of the voices

that you've ever had pour into your life. She is such a phenomenal guest. She've already heard all about her, but first I want to ask you, Jen, how do we get to a place where we can even hunger for bigger, better and bolder without feeling like we are betraying where we are now? That's it, thank you, by the way.

It's a very lovely thing to say. And I will say this, I think that one of the issues that people have is that we get in our own way more than anybody else does. We tend to have so much self-doubt and think that we're either not good enough, not talented enough, not pretty enough, and that we don't even make an attempt to go after whatever that is that we want. And so the first thing I wanted to kind of explain to people is that I believe being bold is a skill that anybody can harness, anyone can get better at. Okay, so that's like, we have to take a pause right there because this, I felt like bold is just something like you're either born with it or you're not.

But you're telling me that I can really begin to practice being bold. I'm fascinated by this because I think it's really going to help a lot of people decide to instead of just thinking I'm not bold so I'm not going to go after it. But really begin to strengthen their bold muscle. So like how do we practice becoming bolder? That's exactly it. So, yeah, so basically, the stop is usually in the start there, right? Because people think, oh, you know what?

I wasn't born that way. I wasn't born bold. So, therefore, they count themselves out before even giving themselves a shot. And my entire philosophy and the message that I really try to put out there is that anybody can strengthen that boldness muscle. And it's, it really is a skill. Boldness is a skill like anything else that you want to get better at. So if you wanted to get better at karate, Spanish, whatever it is, you have to be, you have to practice. You've got to put in the hours to get better and incrementally, you compound that and

it gets you get better and better. And so it's like, and also just like working out, right? Like even when you work out to get stronger, you're physically getting stronger, once you're there, you have to be able to maintain it or your muscles will atrophy. So what I tell people a lot is that number one, to get better at being bolder and harness that skill, you need to practice bold moves by doing little things daily to become more bold. And then as you get bolder,

you kind of change the neuroplasticity in your brain, where that becomes much more your new normal. And then that you basically practice that. And as you practice it and get better and better, that shifts to become more of a personality trait. So in my book, I had these 16 principles. And I put a workbook in the end where I help people practice their bold.

And you can do these things by doing very, very, very small things. So it's not overwhelming and it's not daunting to somebody. And the reason is, I really want people to truly chase what they actually want and not just take what they get, which is typically what we naturally do. Didn't you say you wanted to read more this year? Listen, I'm not minding your business just holding you accountable, but since I get it, adulting is raggedy and life barely gives us enough time to pick a book, let alone read it.

But since y'all are my homegirls, I've done the prep work. Now all you have to do is pull up on the Woman Evolved Book Club. There are two ways to join. With the Woman Evolved Book Club membership, you'll receive a monthly book box that includes your book and a special gift. With the digital content membership, it's giving, bring your own book in any format, audio, digital, card copy, and come kick it with us. Both memberships include digital reading guides, reflection prompts, a custom playlist,

and access to an exclusive Facebook group. Need I say more? Sign up at wominivallbookclub.com by May 10th to receive June's book. As a loyal listener, you can save $5 off your first monthly subscription by using promo code Read. That's our EAD. I'm excited to have you join us on this journey and we'll be looking for you in our Facebook community. Okay, so I have a thousand questions for you and I don't even know which direction to go into.

I want to know, like, how do I get the bold skills? How do I overcome fear of rejection? Like, what do I do when I try to be bold and it doesn't work out? So, like, I don't even know where you want to start with this. Maybe we can start with. Why is it important for us to choose to be bold? There's someone who's like, maybe my life isn't all that it could be because I'm not bold, but I'm not drowning, I'm not sinking. Things are pretty steady. Why is it important that I move

into a state of really being more bold, not just as a one-off, but as a standard of living? more bold, not just as a one-off, but as a standard of living. Absolutely. And that's a good question. And this reality is this, right? Why live a life that's just okay and good enough? I think that's what happens in life, right? Most of us just acquiesce to what's available, right? We end up dating whoever asked us out. We end up taking the job that we saw posted somewhere, as a posted designing and curating a life that we actually want to live. And then we don't take control over our own lives. We allow other people by not making any decisions

and just allowing things to kind of happen to us. And other people start making the choices for you. And to me, why wouldn't you want to live once? Wouldn't you rather self-actualize and live a life that you've curated, designed that's much more who you really want to show up as? And so to me, that is why it is important to take that ownership into your own hands and make decisions for you that are much more in line with how you want to live to be happy. How do you expect to live a full life that's satiating and full and truly happy if you're

just kind of taking things as they come and acquiescing to whatever are available? And I notice it all the time. I mean, the reality is that's how there's been a lot of research and scientific studies backing up the fact that almost 80% of people don't even put the attempt out to go after what they want. 95, 85% of people just take a job, they check out LinkedIn or whatever is available and just see, okay, this job's available. It's opposed to picking the company that they actually feel aligned with or have passion for. Or they end up going on dates and then marrying the person, whoever that may be, who just so happen to be the person that asks them out as opposed to taking any kind

of real, you know, initiative or ownership. So I'm trying to like shift the paradigm a little bit to for people, for women, especially to be much more of a captain of the ship versus just like someone who's just a long for the ride. And you know, a lot of people say, and you know, when you boldness can have a lot of different negative connotations, people think it could be like you could be put, it means that you could be your two pushy or to aggressive or to whatever that two is, right? And I want to change the narrative of what that is. And just because your bull doesn't make you pushy aggressive. And you know, the reality is,, I don't think that we should have, especially

as women, those types of like we should change how we are looked upon, right? Because a lot of times I think in society, we're supposed to be much more the people who don't make waves, who are much more supporters, who are much more timid and soft and just kind of take things as they come. And I really wanna change that conversation a little bit. Okay, so I have to ask you, and this is, I think probably counter to what you just said, but I wanna know whether or not it's true.

I think that there are people who are just born bold, and I think they are able to go into a room and say what needs to be said. And they're able to show up in spaces and advocate for themselves and for their dreams. And those are often the women who we end up admiring because we've seen them really forge ahead. And I think that then there are other women who had to really harness that bold muscle. Do you think that there is an opportunity for everyone to be bold, even if that boldness doesn't show up in the same way?

So maybe for that woman who's never had a problem showing up and dominating his face, being bold for her is actually saying no, being bold for her is actually saying, I need a break, being bold is creating a boundary where she wants and maybe didn't have as much work-life balance. Does everyone have an opportunity to be bold or is bold specifically in this one direction towards really taking up space and really beginning to dominate in your specific sphere?

Well, that's a great question. So I believe that boldness really plays a part in every aspect of your life. And I think that some people can be super bold in certain areas and maybe not so bold in other areas. So the first piece of this is to have a reflective moment and some self-awareness and figure out and think to yourself, like, where do I need to stand up for myself more? Where do I need to be more bold? And by the way, it's not just, it's not just professionally, right?

It's in everything. You could be like a dominating force in business, but then be super, super timid in your personal life and just acquiesce in that area. And only you know where you need to show up more, as a person, right? And then once you do that self-assessment of where it is in your life, then you can act accordingly. And I also wanted to say from that point,

it's about creating boundaries. It's about all of it. It's about creating boundaries if that's something a kind of person that needs to be someone who creates boundaries. It's about living what I call a rich life and I don't mean monetarily and financially. I mean really with experiences and fulfillment and being satiated with your relationships, with your life in general. And for me, you can really switch out the word bold, there's bold with a lot of different other euphemisms.

Like, I say a lot of times, like have the audacity to be you, like have that audacity, because the people that have become truly the most successful in all areas of life and really living a life that's like rich for them, is because they had the audacity to go after that and create that for themselves. And that is really at the crux of what I'm trying to put out there. And I want people, and the idea is to not allow yourself to be, don't self-reject.

Don't, there's too much of a so much rejection outside of in this world. Don't self-reject to yourself. And that means standing up for what it is that you truly want in every area. Cardacy at stylish table in your girl is known to serve a look or whatever. So what inside scoop can I give the delegation when it comes to must have wardrobe essentials form fitting body suits. They are the firm foundation your waist has been searching for. Whether wearing them with high waist jeans, putting them on with the cute pair of sweats,

a form fitting body suit makes the body do what needs to be done. Even if you haven't been feeling your most comfortable, there's something about a body suit that takes things to another level. I decided to give scams a try and it's totally worth the hype. The texture is like none other. It's so soft on my skin that I forget I'm wearing it.

With a variety of sizes, Skims is a solution oriented brand, creating the next generation of underwear, loungewear, and shapewear for everybody. The best part is my skims can easily transform from daytime loungewear to a fun date night out. The FITS Everybody collection has lightweight, form fitting essentials that stretch to twice its size.

You just gotta give them a try, since and believe the hype. This collection has over 90,000 five star reviews for a reason. Schimm's fit everybody and more FITZ Selling Essentials are available now at skimmps.com. Plus, get free shipping on orders over $75, all at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know

that SJR sent you, select podcasts in the survey, and be sure to select the woman evolved in the drop down menu that follows. I've never heard the phrase self-reject before. I think we often think of rejection fear of rejection as something that comes from other people. But I wonder if part of that fear of rejection is really rooted in the fact that we've rejected the truest version of ourselves, the most bold version ourselves before that woman could even emerge. We said, you don't fit here. They're not ready for that.

You don't have what it takes until we self-reject before we even can experience the rejection of other people. And then we pin our immobility on the fact that we think it's going to happen from other people. But the truth is, it's already happened within us. How do we flip that narrative from self-rejecting to self-acceptance in a way that gives us room to really move into a space where I don't have to do it well, but I need to start getting the experience. So I'm going to do something and not take myself so seriously that I don't

give myself a chance in the first place. Absolutely. And I think that's exactly what we do. We tend to self, we tend to follow cues that we get from the outside, from the external world, as opposed to really following our intuition a lot of times. And we talk ourselves out of almost everything, which is what I think would self-rejection it. And what I believe is that even when you have self-doubt, you do it anyway. Even when you feel uncomfortable with something, you do it anyway. Even when you feel uncomfortable with something,

you do it anyway. And you know there's a lot of conversation, and there's a lot of chatter, and it's very trendy to talk about building confidence, how to build confidence, how to build confidence. And the best way to truly build confidence, in a real way that's authentic, is by following through with what you say you're going to do and

then that actually is how you build true inner confidence. So you do that by saying, you know what tomorrow I am going to wake up at 7 a.m. and I am going to exercise for 20 minutes. And then you actually follow through an exercise for 20 minutes. Boom. And then you actually follow through an exercise for 20 minutes. Boom, that little confidence chip is a little bit more accelerated and you keep on doing it that way, where I think confidence and boldness are like sisters or brothers, right? They're all very, very similar that help each other. And I think the more you build that confidence and that you stop allowing yourself to self-reject.

You stop allowing yourself to be that person who puts that out there. And, you know, there's only so much you can do with what others, by looking out and expecting other people to fill you with validation. You've got to figure that stuff out on your own. You've got to validate yourself and think that, you know, why not me? You know, what's the worst that can happen? You know, if it can happen to that person, it can happen to me. And it's about reframing these ideas and philosophies in your head where you go after something, whatever it is, even when you don't feel like you can, you do it anyway. And that's how you stop self-projecting and start like self-accepting. The practicality connected to what you just said is literally going to liberate so many

people from feeling frozen and stagnant, just those little baby steps of, I'm going to get up at seven and I'm going to work out for 20 minutes. It seems like it's something small, but to think that this is how I'm going to begin to build my confidence and ultimately become bold, I think is absolutely priceless. I'm wondering, Jen, is boldness something that came organic to you or is this a skill that you had to harness yourself? I want to know a little bit about your story. So to be honest, like what you were saying earlier, there are some people who,

who kind of were born a little bit bolder than others, right? And I don't really think that was necessarily who I was. I think I was a very, yeah, I think I was a very mediocre child, you know, like I was pretty or below or below average actually. It wasn't a great student. I wasn't great at anything. But what I what I learned early on was that if I asked for it or if I tried it, it was it was remarkable of what the response was. So you know when I was really young, I wanted to be, I loved music and I wanted to be a VJ. Do you remember what that is? Do you remember at MTV? For a short time. And I was obsessed with the Carson Daly's of the world,

or downtown Julie Braille, those kind of people. And I wanted this job so badly. And I was like, they were having an open, I'm Canadian. So our version of MTV is called Much Music. And they were having an open casting call for like the new VJ. This was like the big thing, right? And I was like, I want this job. This is what I want to do.

And I said to my friend, and at the time, Kianner Reeves was like at the height of, by the way, he's still at the height of his career, his new movie just comes out like in a week, but like, but he just finished speed, I remember. And he was like the biggest movie star in the world. And he was coming to my hometown to do some Shakespeare play first to like practice something for a movie role. And I told my family, my friends, that I'm going to get Canarees to be on my demo tape, so I can get this audition for this big job, right? And everyone laughed at me. They're like, come on, like you're this like 17 or I was like 17 and a half or 18 year old kid,

like from this small town, how are you expecting to do this? Like don't be ridiculous. And everyone laughed at me and I thought I was like 17 and a half or 18 year old kid like from the small town How are you expecting to do this like don't be ridiculous and everyone laughed at me and I thought I was so ridiculous And I'm like no, no, no, I'm gonna do it. I want to do it And I lived in a place that was minus 40 like it was so cold It was like I grew up in a place there on that was it's probably one of the coldest places on the planet It's called a Winnipeg Manitoba and I stood outside for 45 minutes in minus 40, waiting for Pianna Reeves to come out of the back door,

and I bright a girlfriend of mine to come with me. She lasted seven and a half minutes since she went home, but I still stayed there. And at the time, there was no such thing as social media, but you have like all the normal gossip rags, like entertainment tonight and all those magazines waiting to get like a glimpse of him, right? And I kind of was super deliberate. And I marched, I saw him after 40, five minutes, come out of the back door and I wiggled my way through all those people and I was super deliberate. And I went up to him and I said, my name is Jennifer and I really need your help to help me with this like

demo tape for this dream job I have. And he thought I was like, he didn't understand I word I was saying he was so confused and all these girls are like pulling at him and like all the cameras and all that stuff and he was looking at me and I repeated myself a couple times and he's like do you want an autograph? I'm like no, I don't want an autograph. That's not gonna help. And so, you know, he's like give me your phone number And I'll call you. I don't understand and I had no pen, no paper. So some girl beside me. She gave me a Gum wrapper that I watched I had the gum wrapper. She had an eyeliner or a lip liner. I wrote my number on this piece of gum wrapper and I gave it to him. I left. I went to school the next day.

I was in school and I told all my friends and my family and they were all laughing at me. They all thought I was crazy. This happened one day, one day, one by two, three, four days went by. Then on the fourth day, three, four days went by. And then on the fourth day actually I came home. And my mom asked that to me, did you listen at the time we had an answering machine? She said, you listened to your answer machine. And I was like, no, why would I do that? I was at school.

And I listened to the machine and there he was. Canner Reaves was like calling me to tell it, but basically, hi, Jennifer, I met you a few nights ago, blah, a few days ago, blah, blah, blah, cut to Sarah. I picked him up at my mom's car, because like very young, I took him back to my house. I had all my friends who didn't even believe in me, be at my house with all the little camp orders, and I did a three hour interview with Kiana Reeves that I then edited down and I sent in to much music and so to me that was a very pivotal moment in my life which was you know it's boldness that's the secret sauce to to success it's not how smart you are

it's not how beautiful you are it's not how talented you are, it's not how beautiful you are, it's not how talented you are, it's about you having the audacity to believe why not me, why can't that happen to me? And you, which like I would be never no worse off if he said no, what would happen? I'd go back to my house and like go go about my life, right? So I just, I remember that was being such a pivotal moment of boldness being the secret sauce to success that ever since that moment, I would move through my life differently.

I would move through my life with the, why not me, you know, with the worst that can happen or I'm gonna give it a shot, you know? Like, and that can happen or I'm going to give it a shot, you know, like, and to me, as I did it more and more, it became much more comfortable for me. And that became truly my new personality. So I literally shifted and changed the way I walked through life by having something, like, did I get the job at much, at much news? I didn't get the job. But I, I think I actually got the,

I got the audition and I became like, first runner up, which was the relevant. It was, I got the prize was getting him to do the audition, right? Like, to me, a lot of things like, you may not even get your ultimate goal in life. But what happens when you go down that path, because another opportunity will present itself that you never even you existed by just going through the motions, like taking action, you know, doing something, because it's all about momentum.

Action gets more action. Things stagnant, stays stagnant. So if we can change that idea in our heads, that we should just sit back and wait for things to happen for us, versus being much more proactive than what happens by going through the motions. That's a long-winded way of explaining it to you. Love is in the air and I'm explaining it to you. You can feel all the love this season with their line of bed and bath essentials that fill your home with life's little luxuries. I checked out their Valentine's Day gift guide, some cute items that caught my eye where a candle and diffuser sent,

a super plush robe, and a mulberry silk eye mask. This luxurious home essentials line is what your space has been waiting for. For Valentine's or Valentine's Day, you can give your bathroom a spa at home feel with luxury upgrades of ultra-soft robes and towels. Treat yourself, don't cheat yourself sis. Created space that you and everyone else will have a crush on with BrookLenin. Visit BrookLenin.com to get $20 off plus free shipping on orders of $100 or more with code Evolve. That's BROOK, L-I-N-E-N.com for $20 off plus free shipping on orders of $100 plus with code Evolve. But it was necessary, like we needed the whole story. I'm curious, you said a couple of times that the people in your life didn't necessarily

believe that what you were aiming for was possible. So I want to take a minute and talk about what is the conversation you had within yourself or the perspective you had about what they were saying that helped you to incubate your hope, even though there weren't people who were believing in it. Because I do think that there are people who would like to step out on faith and they'd like to step out and be bold, but they're afraid of being laughed at. Like, what do you have to tell yourself when it comes to taking that final step or taking that first step that helps you to navigate that everyone may not agree with you.

As a matter of fact, you may have opposition. You may have enemies who were like, I hope you fail, I hope you don't make it. Like what do you do when you don't have the support, but you have the dream and you're finally coming to a place where you have the boldness, but you don't want that boldness to be crushed because when you bring it out into the world,

not everyone may understand it. Absolutely. I think that you have to realize that most people who ask advice from other people, they're asking advice from people who've never even lived that experience or never even done this thing before. So you have to be very cognizant of who you are speaking your dreams to, right? Because a lot of times, you're speaking big dreams,

a very small-minded people who are very myopic and what they think based on their own life experiences. So I believe in building up what I call in my book, I call it the bold of directors. Build a team of people who are your, who is your tribe, who are like-minded, who want to see you win, who want to see you succeed, who help each other out. Nobody in life in the world Sarah is self-made. Nobody. I don't care who you talk to. There, everybody needs people around them that help them become who they are. They need to have a system.

They have to have support people. They have to have people who believe in you. And it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the person that you grew up with or, you know, but once you are very committed in what you want to become and who you want to do, you will start to see and gravitate to people who are similar in that path. So you have to have discernment, right?

Desurment is so crucial in life, in order to get from A to B. You have to be like, you know what, this person, they don't see life like I do. They don't have the same type of vision, they don't have the same type of values. You have to have that discernment. And then, and basically create this, like I say, this bold of directors of people who are in, who really are in a place where they want to see you optimize and elevate to the next level.

And you guys feed off of that. You help them. They help you. And that's how you kind of shift that. As opposed to just like putting out your dreams to a bunch of randoms who have zero, you know, they have, do you ever heard of the expression, uh, shot and Freud? You know, they have, do you ever heard of the expression, shot and Freud? No. So shot and Freud is this expression, which is basically when, you know, people find joy in your misery, but they pretend that they actually want to see you succeed. And it's a expression called shot and Freud.

And it's very, and it's because a lot, unfortunately, a lot of people, when they're not living there, I hate this expression, but they're best life or the life that they really envisioned for themselves, they don't wanna see you win either because it makes them feel worse about themselves. So then they find some kind of like, some kind of like crazy joy in your misery. You have to be very

discerning of who those people are in your life. And to me that is really a really important piece of a living a life that's authentic and full and successful and rich. So I'm curious once you start this cycle of being bold and you start to really move in a space of confidence, can you tell like when it's time for you to take another bold move? Like I want to know, Jen Cohen, when is the last time you looked at your life, you took some time to be self-aware and reflect and really said, you know what, it's time for me to be bold again.

And what was the outcome of that moment? All the time. Like I said at the beginning of this podcast was that boldness is for life. You have to work that muscle all the time to maintain it or else it will atrophy. And there's been a lot of times where I, you know, I, I haven't practiced what I preach, right? Because I get myself, I get stuck. And that's normal and natural. Um, and, but I, I, I tried to, I tried to kind of catch myself in those moments and then do exactly what I tell people, right? Like doing these little, old things all the time to remind myself of how, how impactful and important it is to do those things. I have that audacity to go after it.

Like I said, I think that I'm a big believer in this idea that rejection is so much better than regret. I'd rather feel a little moment of discomfort and pain or like of that, that Iki feeling for two seconds of not getting something versus a lifetime of regret. Because regret sits with you in your gut forever. And I don't wanna ever have that like, what if, or I should of,

or what if I would have done that, or if I could have done that, to me, I'd rather have a moment or a day or two of that like sharp pain or projection, but then you move on. Like it doesn't stay like, yeah, it hurts for a second, but then you kind of get over it and life goes on. So I try to really limp by that philosophy. This show was brought to you by BetterHelp. Who am I called to be in this season? That's a question I like to reflect on from time to time.

In changing environments, meeting different people, and facing new opportunities, I get to rethink the way I see myself. My husband and I recently had a conversation that honored a new way of being. I really needed to hear that. Since sometimes we don't know who we are or what we want until talking things through. If you're feeling like you need professional support these days, give better help a try. Talk therapy is a way to deepen self-awareness, identify values,

and guide you towards self-discovery. So, how does it work? Easy. After filling out a brief online questionnaire, BetterHelp will connect you with a licensed therapist that aligns with your goals. This counseling service was clearly designed with you in mind. It's convenient, flexible, and affordable. Consider this a self inventory and discover your potential with better health. Visit betterhelp.com slash evolve today to get 10% off your first month. That's a better help. H-E-L-P dot com slash evolve.

Tell them we sent you. One of the things that you said that I deeply resonate with is asking yourself, like, what's the worst that can happen? Because that has been, that's like the mantra I live by, because I have so many different opportunities, so many different dreams and goals that I'm always like, what's the worst that could happen? And to your point, I just don't want to experience the regret. And secondly, like, my life has already far exceeded anything

that I ever thought was possible for my life. So, like, even if the worst thing happens to me, I am still so much further ahead than I should be, that I can't lose. So, that was the worst that can happen. It's literally how I live my life. My team doesn't like it. They hate it.

They're like, we can be stressed. So, we can be stressed. But I'm like, but you'll be fine, you'll get some rest, you'll recover. Listen, you're speaking my language, that's exactly how I believe that everybody should live their life. I think that if we can, like, if people could adopt that mantra and just even, like, you know, even, even kind of accelerator or enhance their life, even 5%, it's better than 0%. So, it doesn't have to be these overarching, huge, elaborate things that people are trying

to go for. It can be little things that can, over time, produce your life to be so much more fulfilling and satiating than it was if you haven't tried it or done it, right? For sure. I have to ask you, Jim, before we go, like, who is the woman who has been most influential in helping you to master the skill of being bold? I don't think there's really one person.

Okay. I think I think there's a lot of people that I glean something from. Okay. I think that there's a lot of people that, you know, there's one, there's been, you know, my mom is one person that I've see how she kind of walked through life and I gleaned something from her. And then there's a couple things for my sister or a couple things from other business associates

that I really respect and admire. So it's kind of like a smorgasbord, right? And I think that, you know, I'm a very curious person. And I think that curiosity is another one of these things that people should try to harness if they're something that they're not naturally interested in because so much opportunity and connection community comes from curiosity. And because of that curiosity, I very much observe a lot of women and how they walk through life and what they've done and how they do it.

And it could be in parenting, it could be in business, it could be in relationships. And I think that I've kind of the person that I admire in parenting, is it necessarily the same person that I admire in business and that's okay. But I think at the end of the day, you really, again, it's about curating the people in your life that are really inspirational and give you that type of information, inspiration and motivation to be better. And when you're curious and opened, that's what happens. By the way, you're one of them. What? No, I'm serious.

What you've done, your story is just exceptional to me. I think that you're somebody and this is why you're so successful. It resonates so deeply with people. I feel there's, to pick one person is so, so difficult. That's so good though, because I think it gives us an opportunity as we take this message that you've given us, as we real, because I already know that there are going to be people who are like, I am applying, I am applying this tomorrow.

Like, I am going to start becoming bigger, better, and bolder right now as a result of this conversation. I think the way that you answered that question positions everyone to be students instead of critics. Because when your critics, it's so easy to pick out what other people are doing and how they could be doing it better. When you are a student because you recognize that you are on a journey of becoming the bigger, better, bolder version of yourself. Instead of criticizing, you start looking at skills that other people possess that you are hoping to hone.

And when you look at it that way, suddenly the world becomes so much bigger because you see that these are not just people on a journey. These are teachers who can help me get one step closer to who I am supposed to be. And so I thank you, Jen, for being one of our teachers today. The lessons that you have shared, the skills, the practicality, the tools, the heart, and what you have shared it.

I know are going to greatly impact our audience. So I'm grateful for you. Thank you so much, sir, for this opportunity. I really, I really appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for your time, too. I really appreciate it. And I hope to you. Thank you for your time, too.

I really appreciate it. And I hope to see you next time we're in LA. I hope so too. Yes. Thank you, Jen. Take care. Thank you, you too. Bye. Bye. Jennifer, you were an amazing co-host. I'm so glad we were able to make this happen. Do yourself a favor. Make sure that you pick up her book. You do not want to miss the rest of the gyms that she has in there.

Being steadfast in the face of opposition was my biggest takeaway from our discussion. The family was laughing, the friends were laughing, but nobody was laughing when she put it with Keanu in her car. Delegation, tag us on the socials. I want to know what you learned from this episode and how you are becoming bigger, better in Boulder and I mean like, nail. We cannot wait to hear from you. I will talk to you next week.

Until then, do that thing in the earth that only you can do. Music you