Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Celebrating Authenticity w/ Consolata Kapuya

Episode Date: October 20, 2021

W.E. are internationally known, so SJR passed the microphone—all the way to our friend Consolata Kapuya in Zimbabwe! That’s right! This week on the podcast, SJR is connecting beyond borders & issa vibe! TUNE IN as Consolata shares the journey of affirming her identity while making fear her audience. Sis highkey remembered WHOSE she was & the game changed! For being authentic and allowing listeners the room to bloom, W.E. gave this ‘Hail Mary’ her flowers! GIRL…are you waiting to exhale? Then pull up on WomanEvolve.com/conference21 where God gone spin the block for YOU…to breathe again! Holla at us if you wish to co-host by emailing [e-mail]. Cancel unwanted subscriptions with Truebill.com/WomanEvolve + Try.Scribd.com/Evolve for a FREE 60-day trial of eBooks, audiobooks, magazines, music, podcasts & MORE!

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God party for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Child, do you know what today is? No, it's not our anniversary. It's a celebration in this thing. It's podcast day and to any amount of time I get to spend with you is a worthy of celebrating today. That has day and any amount of time I get to spend with you is worthy of celebrating. Today my friend Constellata all the way from Zimbabwe is my co-host. This is a whole vibe. She came here shining and ready for the Lord.

She's glowing and you are about to glow just from basking in her life. I can't wait for you to get to know her. So let's get into it. Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you? How are you? How are you? you to get to know her. So let's get into it. Hi. Hi. How are you?

I'm you. I'm very well in just all. Oh my gosh. I'm doing amazingly. You look beautiful. I heard that you like really brought your egg game for this thing. And we love to see it.

No, it's insane. You look gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for doing this with me. Wow. So surreal. I can't explain how I'm doing about this. Thank you so much. Oh, it's an honor. How are you? How are you doing? I'm very well. Yeah, I'm doing very well. I'm in a good space. Yeah, thank you for that. You're in Zimbabwe. And how are you? Yes, I'm in Zimbabwe. Did I say it wrong? No, it does sound funny. I bet. I bet. I'm sorry. But yes, I am in Zimbabwe. How is the world changing there?

Like, did you all experience here in the States? We had the lockdown, and now we're kind of re-emerging. Where are things that for you are there? Yes, we did experience the whole of the pandemic. Like people died, especially in July. You were there about 15 deaths per week of people that you know. Like per week. And then all of a sudden, now it's getting better.

We're really to be here about COVID cases. And many people have also been vaccinated. So that's a blast. The worst way masks and for you to attend church, you have to be fully vaccinated, which is two persons. So this that, but really, we're starting to open up again. I love that.

Well, I think all collectively praying that the world emerges out of this better and stronger. And just more, I think all collectively praying that the world emerges out of this better and stronger. And just more, I think more connected than we were before. It's so easy to think that like we are so separated, but then we have moments like this where it just becomes increasingly clear that our lives are so intertwined. Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Yeah. Okay. Thank you. So because of COVID, we get, I mean, I didn't know there was zoom before COVID, but not because like technology became

more relevant, yeah, so we get to, I mean, we're only having this chat cause probably if it wasn't for cold beer, it wouldn't have respected students. So yeah, it did kind of positively impact us in some way. How did you learn about Waman Evolve and want to be a part of the co-host in the podcast? I think I first saw you some on YouTube, right? And I just connected with them.

Cause basically I think I was in a space where like, I was trying to figure out who I was, trying to be authentic to myself. Like despite what society say, like, Bikya and Zimbabwe, like teething my hair like this is like set up thing sometimes or to some people, though my parents or my mom run, like it's supportive of anything that I do, but there are some people that still feel like, you know, it's not really, culturally the correct thing to do. So in trying to find out who I really was,

what made me happy, that's when I came through your videos. I was like, what? I like her. I like her. Then I started following your programs. I even followed the, who many both, show who many both. And I was like, what, this is beautiful.

And also just the community that you built, the language, you know, mind your business, Ministers, I really committed with that. With that. So yeah, it's really beautiful. Okay. That's how I came up.

So some people are gonna be listening and they're going to be wondering, what is, what does your hair look like? Why is it so different? Can you explain your hairstyle? Alright, so my hairstyle I tinted its ginger-ish. Yes, it's it's I tinted the ginger from black obviously because my original hair color is black. So I tinted the change and I feel amazing. I really feel amazing.

And you look gorgeous. Authenticity is so important to our journey of womanhood. And it seems like you have really stepped into this space of celebrating what is authentic to you from every part of your life and body down to your hair. What has your hair journey been? My head journey, okay, I had a very big head line drawing up. Like, it was not bad like that.

So I kept trying to get braids or this kind of hairstyles. But I always kind of felt like this is not who I really am. It doesn't give me the satisfaction that I wanted when I looked at myself in the mirror. Not that I didn't appreciate what I was, but I felt like I could be beta. Like I could feel beta about myself. So when I finally did, like, the beginning of the year,

I actually had a boat in, like, a cart on my head. That was like the most refreshing feeling of being able to just touch my scalp and know how it feels to just be me. So it's been freeing, and I think that's probably the best gift that I've given to myself in this sea to be authentic to where I am That's incredible. I've always heard that when a woman changes her hair. She is about to change her life I don't know if you've heard that before

How did your life change as a result of your hair change? How did your life change as a result of your hair change? Basically, a lot of my friends had been afraid for a long time to actually cut their hair because of course what people were going to say. So when I cut my hair, of course there were actually, there were some guys that asked me in nasty comments. It's not someone I was dating or was in any relationship with. But they just said to me, you know, at Constellata, this is a total turn of, I was like, wait, okay.

How is it? Okay, it might be a turn of two. But I didn't ask for your opinion in the back. And also my friends that went to Tied, I got about 10 of my friends also cut their hair. Well, not all of them went bald, but they did cut their hair. So it just gave a fulfilling feeling.

Yeah. I love that because what I hear you saying is that when you received courage to just celebrate what was authentic to you, to celebrate your scalp, your body, your hair, the way that you show up in the world that it helped the women in your circle to do the same thing too.

I think that that's what happens when women begin to evolve. They take the women connected with them on the journey as well. And I am wondering, when I talk a lot about sisterhood, there are so many women from the states, from the continent, from the diaspora in general, who are connected to what's happening with woman evolve. And I wonder, what do you think is missing, or is there something missing between the sisterhood

that could be cultivated between black women and America, but also like African women? Like we obviously have this connection, but I think there's also room for separation. I can tell you as a black woman because I don't have as much connection to my original culture. And so much was robbed from the lineage that I feel like I often lack the confidence and the just knowing the ancestral knowing that comes that I see a lot of African women carry. What do you think about that? I think it's important that we also try to connect beyond our borders, like just having

a conversation with someone that's certainly from America, as you're saying, or someone from Brazil, from anywhere around the world to just get their thoughts and feelings about certain topics, about what's happening in the country or around the world. I love how you ask me when we start the conversation, what's happened or what has happened like from the beginning of COVID to now like in Zimbabwe and for me That was like you know, this is beautiful like just getting to know about

Thought feelings and opinions that other people have that may not necessarily be the same with ours because of course our culture is a little bit different and I'll say in America it's totally different like year even the culture in Zimbabwe is also different from South Africa because South Africa is like deep culture where they actually wear like they're clothing that shows their different tribes. Unlike Ian Zimbabwe, it's only like Laoio, with the demiliki people that are still wearing something that resembles their tribe. But with the rest of us, we've been stripped off by the Western culture.

So basically, yeah, we should have more conversations where we just seek to have open ended conversations where we're not trying to, we don't really have an agenda, we just want to get to know what other people feel, what other people think about certain topics or where you're going around the world. I believe that that can be very powerful. I love that you said that because even when you were speaking about being in a relationship and when you changed your hair and he didn't necessarily like it, that you told him, he could go on somewhere.

I feel like those are the types of themes that are universal. And a lot of times we think about like men in America are this or like this is only happening in Africa. But then right here in this moment, we recognize that we are dealing with so many of the same things as women. What do you think is the greatest lesson that you have learned about yourself in the journey of embracing and becoming confident in who you are as a woman?

I have learned that I can be anything and everything that I want to meet. As long as God has allowed me, oh God allows me, or if God approves of whatever I'm doing, then it means that I can go ahead and do it. Okay, one example, like big bananas in college, I wanted to be a model. But also, I quote in talk college, it's not like I wanted to be the naked model. But I just wanted to be a model like to be a brand ambassador and things like that. So

people also disapproved of that. But now fully embracing that God has actually allowed me to be this person has given me such a feeling of comfort and know that God is in this with me. Because I felt like Christianity was choking me basically. Like I can't really want to be because that's what religion says. It's compared to the gift conviction that I had within myself, but God was allowing me to do this. So when I finally did it, that's when I just realized, you know what, I can do all things, anything that I set my mind to do.

But as God says the year's streets, then I can go for it. Like nothing and nobody can stop me as long as God proves of it. Because I trust that this is a judgment-free zone, I'm gonna share a secret with you. I love signing up for free trials. Okay, that's it.

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member at trubil.com slash womany ball. Your Trubil concierge is there when you need them to cancel unwanted subscriptions, so you don't have to. Now that type of power, that type of confidence, very much so feels like a place that you land. And I would love to hear, where did you start? Like what did you have to fly over and overcome in order for you to come to this place where you were like, you know what, I'm gonna step boldly into the confidence of my identity, into the confidence of the pursuit

of my purpose and my dreams. Did you have to overcome where you just born with that innately or where there's some things that stood in your way? Honestly, I was not born like this. No, there are so many things that I do, but I do them afraid. It's not like when I post some pictures, I'm confident.

Of course, I am confident, but there's this fear of maybe negative comments from people or what's the next person going to say, but still I do it afraid. Like I'll initially be afraid and sometimes like after every five minutes I'm like checking my Instagram to see the comments section that you know is anyone come for me but still I do it afraid because after having conversations with my friends I actually realized that so many people were scared to be authentic to themselves and I just took it up on myself that if I can do it, then probably my friends and those in my circle also been inspired to also truly work there

during the third, that's it. But I do it afraid. Like honestly, I do it afraid. I totally resonate with that doing it afraid business. I feel like there are just these moments in destiny that you don't get to be comfortable when doing them, that you have to be willing to quite literally make fear your audience. And I think part of the way that we do that is that we just recognize that if I wait until my fears are gone, then I may be waiting too long.

If I wait until my fears are gone, I may never actually do it. And so giving yourself permission to say, maybe, I may never actually do it. And so giving yourself permission to say, maybe I don't have to do it with confidence. Maybe I can be uncertain. Maybe I can learn while I go and grow while I go. That is the permission we need to fully say, I am a woman who was going to evolve, even if that means while doing get afraid. And it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing with your journey and with your life. I wonder though, you're like me.

So when you post something that you know, it could be a little spicy. You're going through the comment section to make sure no one's come for you. I did this the other day, I posted something and I was like, I know they're gonna be mad about this and I was searching for it. But you know, like you skip over all of the comments

where like girl, yes, you're slaying. I thank God for your life. And you just help me to look for that one hater. Do you allow yourself? Like I feel like part of celebrating your mind body soul, your entire existence is also receiving flowers. Like we talk a lot about people who don't get their flowers when they're here, but there are people who do get their flowers, but move them to decide to see where the weeds are, to see where the disconnect is, to see where the divide is. How do you give yourself permission to receive the flowers? For me, I take a minute and pause, and I allow the words to sink in to the area of my life that is always questioning, am I doing it right, am I doing it well, does it matter?

And allow those flowers to be planted, like it's replanting them, right? From the person who gave them to me, to the space in my soul that needs to know that I am developing, nurturing, and growing something beautiful in the area where I once felt insecure. Absolutely, absolutely. that is beautiful.

I feel like that's like taking the good part of our people and really embracing it and running the best. Because when they get to comment, they literally destroy you. Like destroy yourself as deems, self confidence. You begin to question what's purpose for you and then that's the end of you. So I love it. Really love it. Okay so when is the last time that you received a compliment or something that was edifying

towards you and did you take the time to let it sink in? Yesterday, or today, this morning, this morning, I always do, I absolutely always do. Oh my God, like sometimes I feel this deep feeling of gratefulness to God, like just so much gratitude and I like look at some of the reviews or how people just randomly take me on Facebook. They like, you know, you've changed my life.

You posted about that on YouTube and I watched it and I was inspired to complete writing my book. And for me, that's like, what? You know, like God, you would use me like that. So it's always so humbly for me to always remember that, you know what? Like I always, always go to God.

So I'm always grateful. And yeah, I do take time. I definitely do take time. I love that. It sounds like, does that? Because when we talk about family, I feel like family is the first environment, in which we really get to experience the opportunity to receive flowers.

We receive corrections sometimes, but I think when a person isn't affirmed within the context of their family, that it makes it difficult for them to believe the affirmation of others. But when you are affirmed over and over again throughout your childhood, you do have the tendency to trust it a little bit more. Not that it makes it easy, but you can trust it a little bit more in your family life where you affirmed in your identity and who you are, or is that something that God had

to bring some perspective to in order for you to move forward? Honestly, in my family, like I'm the girl that was born when my cousins and my brother, like my brother was studying college when I was born. So it's like a 19 year difference. That's literally an international gap. So I can't really say I connect it with my siblings or my cousins because I've run brothers and then cousins. I can't really say I connected with them or they offered me not with my mom like I don't remember that. However,

I did go to a Catholic school from primary school and then to a girls Catholic school in secondary school. So that was it. Like, hey, they just taught us to love ourselves, to celebrate ourselves. They affirmed us, taught us how to love each other. Like for women that can be a thing you know. They just live with each other. I can't really say my family. Like now my mom and I are so close. Like we talk about everything. So yes she does affirm me but honestly from my childhood I don't actually quite remember. I don't remember that. But yeah, she is present now. She's typing me up. She's like, you can do this.

It does come. It really goes a long way. That's amazing because what you said about your brother and your age difference reminds me of my daughter. She's five and her sister is 25 and I always wonder how that can play out. They have to start working on it now. Okay. I feel like with my brother, like now I'm growing up, it's not me like trying to have conversations

to see down. Like now I'm so intentional about it that I want to build a healthy relationship with my brother because I remember growing up like the times I felt like he wasn't there for me, didn't dispend me when I needed him to dispend me. So now I just, you know, intentionally sitting down and communicating. Yeah. Can we talk about being a bit beautiful, honestly? Like sometimes he takes me personally, what?

What? It's really beautiful and we've grown to love each other and appreciate each other in and be a time. Yeah. What you, okay, so siblings, growing to love one another, people think that because you have siblings, that it's just automatic, that you're gonna have a healthy relationship with them.

And I think that what I'm learning in my adult relationship with my siblings is that it takes just as much work as a romantic relationship to make sure that you are staying connected, that you're communicating, being compassionate. And I do think that that starts at a very early age and when you make the commitment to say, you know what? I am going to make an attempt and getting to know you better and understanding what moves you and serving

you in the way that you need to be served, not in the way that I think that you need to be served. And I feel like that's one of the most challenging parts about having a sibling. That is absolutely true. I think having a sibling just like any other relationship like you see, it requires investment of time. Like if you have to take each other out, then that's money emotionally to just be involved. It just requires as much investment as our romantic relationships.

I mean, this is like a blood brother or blood sister. To her and her, to actually choose to make them your family, despite that, you're biologically, you know, related, but to, you know, to keep them close to your heart. I think that goes along with it. And it's always a beautiful thing as well. I love that. I love to mentally escape into a good book. It gets tricky though when I don't have time to sit

and read for hours like I prefer, or the in-between stage after I've finished a great book and I'm ready to dive into a new one. I love that with Scribd, I have instant access to millions of audiobooks and their thoughtfully curated editors' picks. Now I find myself listening to books while I'm exercising cooking or outrunning errands. All for just $9.99 a month with Scribd. I have the world's most fascinating library right at my fingertips.

I want you to try it. Right now, Scribd is offering our listeners a free 60-day trial. Go to try.scribd.com slash evolve to get 60 days of script for free. You can listen to e-books, audiobooks, magazines, and so much more from your favorite device. Forbes calls it Netflix for books. Try it out and let them know ashtray are sent you. Okay, so we have to answer, we get to answer an advice question together. Are you ready?

Okay, it's a good one too, and it's kind of lengthy, which is my favorite advice question to have. I love when they're long. Okay, so it says, Hey Sarah, so the main things in my life that I need advice on are for one, I need to figure out what I want to do with my life. L.O.L. I know that God has so much in store for me. I've had this vision of me since I was a little girl. I'm on a stage surrounded by thousands of people. Now, I don't know if I would say I want to

be a pastor or anything, but I've always had a passion for speaking about God. It's given past or says, let me keep going though. On the other hand, I can see myself being a mentor to young women. I also love YouTube for the most part. I make videos about God, fashion, advice, and vlogs. Now, I know I shouldn't put myself in a box,

but I don't know where to start. I went to business school and I wanted to start a mentoring program. Years went by and I think I've lost the passion for it. Only because I'm so sensitive and compassionate, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I let other people's issues affect me tremendously. So I don't wanna put a lot on my shoulders,

but I do wanna help people. Also, I know I want to become an entrepreneur. I know it's a lot bare with me. I just became a mother this year. I've also been in a relationship for two years now. So that's also something that is always on my mind. I am an overthinker, LOL, but I think I know I'm capable of so much.

I guess what I'm saying is, what can I do to not go crazy in my mind, LOL, and follow my dreams and any other inputs you have. Thank you so much in advance. You're a true woman of God and an inspiration. I'm going to take you step at it, but then I'm going to toss it to you. So, you know, a lot of the things that you named here are things that I believe are possible for you to be able to do without feeling like you need to do them in a certain order or you can't do them all at the same time.

When you are called to be in ministry, it sounds like you want to start a YouTube channel that would put you in front of people. Sometimes we have dreams and our dreams are only connected to what we have experienced in our past. But you being in front of people could be what you're going to do on YouTube. And as you're talking about fashion and makeup, you can also allow your faith to be a part of it. It doesn't have to all be separated. You are all one person, which means the expression of you can show up in everything that you do. I try to make my life somewhat of an example of what

all is down on the inside of me. So I like fashion, I like cooking, I like makeup, I love preaching, I love connecting with women, I like my friends, I like to be a little bit petty. And all of that shows up, I feel in the work that I do. And so I think that if you just create what is authentic to you, I feel this for you so strongly. Don't try to create what you have already seen. Don't try and create what you think it should be.

Create what you see. Create what you feel. Create what is being whispered in your soul and release that because if you're looking for something that will help you understand what it is you're sensing, then you're gonna start imitating someone else's work and miss out on the opportunity to authentically create what is natural and organic to you.

So remove the pressure to try and make it make sense. Instead, let it be a mess and see what happens when you mix all of those things together and just see what happens. The best way to learn how to cook is to just throw everything together. And then once you learn it, I needed a little bit more sugar.

I needed a lot less flour. And you continue to refine your purpose in that same way. I need to be less humors here. I need to have more wisdom there. It will come up, but you gotta start cooking, girl. Absolutely. Absolutely. You're onto that very well. And I also just affirm that the fact that

she invisions it means that it's very possible for all of that to come to fruition. But first of all she does have to write down all of... She has to write all of that down. Please do write all of that down so that some of that when just slip away or you get too much creation that you forget your original plan, but also like pastive seracies. You can do it, like you can do this things. Take your time, don't rush things. Sometimes God wants to help us or to help us to grow

in the process. Though I know like you want the big stage, you want the, you know, two mental and million women, you know, that kind of thing. But also God can give you, maybe someone that's actually in your vicinity right now needs your help, needs you to mentor them, but all you have to do at this point is to also identify someone who

may need to be mentored by you. And you know, when you're doing the beauty of facial and videos, I've seen the get ready with me videos where someone is getting ready and they're actually sharing the word of God. So it kind of draws us that want to look good. So we love God, we love to look good. Obviously we're going to be drawn to your channel as well. So like Pastor Sarah said, you know, we need wisdom to just fuse all of that together and see where that takes us. Otherwise, it's very possible to do all things as long as God approves of each, you can be anything. Oh gosh, you know, one of the other things that she said that as God approves of each, you can be anything. Oh, gosh, you know, one of the other things

that she said that I think is worthy of mentioning, she talked about really struggling with wanting to be a mentor because she felt so compassionate and sensitive towards people. And anytime you're doing something that grants access to other people's lives, their emotions, their trauma, their feelings, there is a risk that you end up feeling like overwhelmed by all of the things that they have faced.

It's like second hand PTSD, second hand trauma. It's when you pick up on the feelings, and emotions, and experiences of other people, and then they affect your own life almost as if it happened to you. We see this in relationships. We see this in ministry. I'm sure that therapists see it in their field and certainly mentor see it as well.

One of the things that I am constantly challenging myself to do, whenever I feel overwhelmed by the burdens of the people who are in my life, I still want to be available to them. I still want them to know that they can vent towards me, but I also end up so depleted and I am constantly challenged by God to remind myself and to ask myself, are you becoming a space where they vent or are you becoming their God? Because if you are just a space where they vent, when you pray, you turn that thing over to God and you trust that God has the perfect plan and wisdom on what they need in their life.

But when you become their God, you feel responsible for the outcomes connected to their situation. And you begin walking them through in a way that is honestly toxic and not ideal for them or for you. The most powerful thing that any of us can do is remember whether it is our child, our parent, our lover, our friend, our clients, our members is that they started with God. And if they end with us, then we did them a disservice, our job is to get them back to God where he has the perfect theology for their life. And yeah, absolutely well, you preached.

It's a word I'm constantly well. You preached. You preached. It's a word I'm constantly reminding myself. Now you're in ministry. Tell me what you do in ministry. Okay. Firstly, I wrote a book that's titled Princess to My Daddy. This book just came. Okay, my biological dad passed on

when I was seven years old, right? So it's been my mom and my brother, but then my mom has been like that constant from the food to the clothes to the school, he's like, she has been my provider. But they're also times where they struggle. And they're not only like the physical part or how I grew up,

but also some personal struggles like anxiety, depression, addiction to point, like with addiction to point, I didn't know as a Christian I could struggle with an addiction to point. But you know, great up in the church, like, feel what you really talk about it it until I actually experienced it. And then I knew, okay, now I need God. So, Princess to my dad is basically me getting to the realization that, you know what, God's wants to hold me in his hand. Like, is the alpha and the omega, like the being in the end, but it's also in me with me.

Like God is in the middle with me. I didn't have to go through the addiction. I didn't have to face anxiety or depression on my own. God was willing to carry me through that. Like I never had to do stuff by myself. That's why I gave me the Buddhist spirit to carry me to comfort me, to give me strength. So now being a princess is like, you know, God just holds me. And so that's how the book. It was actually a status like a one-top status like that by you. And then it became a book and then God was like, you know what, make this a women's ministry. So that's how the ministry came about. And what I just told you is that through some of my experiences and the transparency in my book,

other people's lives would be transformed, and they would just have to feel like they're actually unknown in their journey. That, though, the whole spirit is with them, but I'm also here as an example that you can be Christian, you can be straight, you can be saved, you can be preaching, I also go through stuff, but other people are not to Christian go through. So yeah, that is so powerful, so necessary. You took what transformed you and offered it to other

women. Do you think, because thank you one for your transparency about the addiction to pornography. I think to your point, that's not something that is often discussed in general. And I wonder if you feel the way that I do. I feel like addiction is usually a symptom of a greater issue. I think it is an outlet for any issue. So whether that is addiction to porn or addiction to alcohol, addiction to drugs, it feels like the addiction is the release, but the symptom is really how we experience change. Do you agree with that? Yes, I absolutely do

agree with that. So I then trusted back the other day my mom and I had a conversation about my late father. So she says when you are a baby like sonata you're supposed to be a baby. So let's just say maybe around April for like a year my dad just didn't come home for a year. And then eventually I was just like, okay, okay, come back home for a year, okay, fine. I moved on. And then later on, I was trying to find out why I always felt like I needed a self-space, a safe place, or, you know, sometimes I'll get into relationships and then want my boyfriend to be my father, to be my brother, to be my boyfriend, to be my everything. Then I realized that I actually did have daily issues and they started from the time that I was actually born. Like, though we are babies, but babies,

I believe you also feel what is going on around them. And I believe that from that point, I always felt like my dad was absent. And then he made the past one. So I think those dead issues are not that we're resulted in this, because the way how this point addiction started, I was in a relationship with this guy. So this guy was busy, like he was hustling,

I was trying to make a living for, to make me comfortable, like, you know, to provide, you know, men want to, yes. Anyway, he was trying to be all that. But I didn't see that. I thought he was neglecting me. Honestly, it was crazy when he could be. There's not a single day that you went, that went by, that it do communicate. But I thought like it to me eight hours a day, okay, five hours, five hours a day, of which yet to work.

So that's when each time I realized that it was absent, I was just like, you know, I just find the watch when, and then it's like this whole one is released. It's actually got a name. Yes, this whole one is released. We're by your mind reaches the climax of its imagination and that whole one is released and then it's the whole one for excitement and once that's that she needs, once that was released, I felt tired and then I skipped.

So like a quick drag, you know, I'll just wake up the corner in the morning. And I realized that each morning, I'll wake up feeling so tired, like every time that I've reached, I'll be so exhausted, like literally drinking through the day. But in that instant moment, it felt like that

was the perfect mix. But you know, quick fixes are near but permanent solutions. They're always temporary. Now you preached, first you said, I preached in the new preach. What has happened? I passed the microphone. Yeah. But I know that's going to be helpful for so many people who really are wondering, not just about maybe things in their personality that have shown up as addictive. But I think what you said about how you even as a baby, you took in what was happening around you because there are so many people who may know that their family had several shifts when they were babies and they think, well, I was so young

then I wouldn't have been affected. And yet there is this underlying maybe theme of rejection or theme of just not feeling like you got the attention that you needed. And sometimes that does start from the time that you are a baby. And I think to give yourself permission to be human then, right? that you need it and sometimes that does start from the time that you are a baby. And I think to give yourself permission to be human then, right?

And to still be carrying those emotions into your adulthood if not really sword it through. And I feel like that's going to be an incredible revelation. You've been such a gift and I know that you're going to help so many women who are on their journey with your transparency, your thoughtfulness, and of course, just your beautiful from the inside out. So thank you. Thank you for spending this time with me. Thank you so much for having me.

This has been amazing. Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm excited. Take care. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

I hate to say it, but I told you so. I know you are already glowing just as a result of being in the light that console lot of carries. She was so transparent, so powerful, so just beautiful in her delivery and all that she gave us today. You know what else is a vibe? Are you ready for it? You're not ready. You are ready. The Waman Evolved 2021 conference if you have never Been to a woman evolved even I want to let you know something right now

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