Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Exhale Self Discovery

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Chiiillleee, you thought this was a podcast, but ISSA family reunion—quick, cue The O'Jays! Hear how SJR & her co-host, Skye Kihara, are lowkey 'related'. Plus, get in on a ratchet reckoning courtesy of our homegirl Eve! W.E. heard it's cuffin' SZN, but Sis…what W.E. not finna do...is over-romanticize about future bae. Who are you? What do you bring to the table? And how are you validating what God has placed on the inside of you? Yep! That’s the self-affirming girl talk we're delving into this week! As a boss babe & tech enthusiast in the startup world, Skye tells listeners how to kick-start their business ideas, so tap in! Hey YOU, come kick it with the Delegation on Friday (11/19) night for soul-care in the sanctuary: Exhale Edition! This episode is sponsored by Truebill.com/WomanEvolve + Skillshare.com/Evolve + GetQuip.com/Evolve + Rothys.com/Evolve.

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God party for me that's there are things, all things, all things.

Child. We're fresh off the Womeningvolve Conference and child, if you know, you know, okay. God did a big, old, great, big, old thing and it was absolutely amazing, but he is not finished working because this podcast is going to be a continuation of just the exhaling that we have received at conference. Okay, if you don't know, we're not holding our breath anymore. We're unapologetically making it known who we are, who God is changing us into becoming, and we are stepping into it full throttle. My next guest on this podcast, did I say guess?

I do mean co-host. All right. My next co-host for this podcast is SkyCare and let me tell you something. Talking to her was quite literally a breath of fresh air. She goes into so many things that I know are going to help you. What I will say is this heads up you are going to want to have a pen and a piece of paper. There are tools and resources in this podcast that you don't want to miss. Alright let's get into it and see what she's Hi, Sky. Hi. How are you? I'm great. How are you?

Excellent. Nice to meet you. Really nice to meet you. You look fantastic. So do you. I was admiring you. You couldn't see me, but I could see you. And you look gorgeous. Oh, stop it. Thank you.

That's so kind of you. How are you? I'm super good. Honestly, I can't believe I'm on your podcast. This is amazing. I'm excited about it. I'm excited. Where are you?

Right. So I'm tuning in from Canada. Okay. So specifically, my city is Edmonton. So like, Western Canada. Yeah. But it's exciting here. Like it was Boone's, but now it's like this burgeoning like tech sector.

Yeah. And it's just like excited about it, because I'm in it and I love it. Are you originally from there or did you move there? So I'm not originally from here. So my background, I'm half Nigerian. Okay. My mom's like black Canadian Jamaican. And so like I was actually born and raised in Nigeria.

You hear when I was 10, yeah. And then when I got married, I moved here to join my husband and all that good stuff. So love that. That's how I'm here. You know, I did do my ancestry. And my father is like 100% evil. I'm like 80% so like in a way,

we're related in a way, in a way. We're actually cousins. This is a family reunion. It's not even a podcast. It is a family reunion. How'd you hear about the podcast? How did I hear about it? Yeah.

Is that what you said? Okay, well you know what, I've been a huge fan of your father's for a long time. I feel like he's my grandpa. He's not a dad. That works because we're family. Flashed. Right, right, exactly.

And so, and then naturally, of course, I just started watching you preach all the time and then, and then I stumbled on your podcast because I think I saw a clip of it on YouTube one day, like, some time back. And I was like, oh, this is good. And then I tuned in. And it's like every time I would tune in,

it would speak to me. It was really weird. Like, I was like, this is really strange. And then I remember, I think it was an episode when I heard that you were kind of open to co-hosts. I think it was that episode with Ivan Orgy. Yeah. And yeah, yeah.

So just right before that, I heard that and I was like, oh, I'm gonna apply. And then I did. And then of course that episode was wonderful. And I was like, okay, I, like I just want to come on. I don't know what I'm going to talk about, but like I want to come on. We're just going to see where this road takes us.

I think the very first thing that makes a podcast extraordinary, at least this podcast is when you share with us just not how righteous you are, but how ratchet you are. Can you tell me about a time where you had to check yourself because you were about to wreck yourself? For sure. Oh my goodness. Honestly I have very many ratchet moments. Very, very. But one specifically that, honestly, I just haven't had the opportunity to share is I remember just now I'm on this like career trajectory and no one in my circle knows this. But there was a time I was like pursuant of marriage this badly, like as strongly as I'm

pursuing a career and tech. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna get married. Like I don't care what happens or who. Like it's happening. Wait, wait, hold on. We need more information on this. Okay, so like how do you get like, how, wait, how do you come, cause there is some women out there who are ready for marriage and they're like,

how do I release myself to come to a place where I don't even care who it is? You just need to be single, and that's about it. Exactly, right? I feel like that was very ratchet of me because I was like, God literally have so yank me out of that silly road I was going down. But you know what, I don't know what it was, but I think

I was about 24 when I woke up. It was my birthday December 13th and I was turning 24. And I remember waking up just like in a puddle of tears and panic. I was literally panicked like, oh, all my peers are getting married. They're having one or two babies. And like, and what am I doing? Like, I'm just trying to figure it out. And I went on this whole thing where I told my mom and my sister, I'm like, I'm getting married. They're like, okay, you don't have a boyfriend.

So say more, say more. Right, so you know what? And I'm a huge traveler. So I was like, I'm going to travel and on my travels, I'm just going to go to different churches, whoever I meet, like we'll see where it goes. Like, it's fine. There was no like huge plan. But you know what? Just be careful what you ask for and what you like plan to do. Yeah. Because you'll do it. And so I was down this really crazy road and I was living abroad and I met someone and he was up the faith as well.

So I thought, you know what, perfect, you're a man. You love Jesus. You know God, that's it. Let's do this. And I remember upending my whole entire life and packing a closing shop. I moved to Morocco and granted I was teaching business English. So I was somewhat in like business tech maybe kind of not really. But you know what?

I justified it. I moved. I stopped everything. Like I quit my job. I stopped everything. And I moved. And I remember one crazy day, the day before we had just a normal, normal day and the day after we were talking about breaking up. And then the day after that, I found myself at the airport in Casablanca

on my way back to like nothing, right? And we had this crazy breakup. I quit my job in Morocco. I was going back to nothing because I packed up shop. And I was just like on the floor, balling like in an airport, like in North Africa. And I was like, okay, this is ratchet. Like, this is better than this. This is ratchet like this is better than this So I think from that moment on I told myself Never again am I going to let like this crazy marriage dream or like a boy

Sweet me off my feet and like into nothingness and then like you know what, yeah, it's done. Yeah, so bye. So that was like my, I think my most ratchet moments of like reckoning. Okay, it was a ratchet reckoning. Yeah, there's a ratchet reckoning. You better preach, listen, there are several things you said here, Sky. First of all, as much as I wanna go badly

about your ratchet moment in relationships, you are in Morocco. It's not giving get-o. Most of us, we like move to the other side of town where we work at the Tari. Since then, I moved to Morocco. You better be ratchet in Morocco. You got an international ratchet car and we love to see it. Yes, no, you know what I'm huge on like, live your best life. Yes, I have these ratchet. Yes, no, your heartbreak story is terrible for you,

but it also sounds very sexy since because Morocco, some of these folks out here just tell you to move to this outside of town and just, it's been on me for a while. We not exposed. It's the same old target, but you know what? In North Africa, I was in a ball of tears. You know what? You know what though?

What I love about your story, I'm going to bring it together. What I love about your story though, is that it really does illuminate how so many of us get caught up in this romanticizing of relationship and marriage at the expense of not having an identity our cell. I was so heavily pursuing of a relationship because I thought it was gonna complete me and bring me identity and help me to see who I am

that I didn't realize once I finally had the relationship that you have to know who you are before you enter relationship. You have to have your own identity. When God creates woman and says that she's going to be a help me, how can you be a help me if you don't know what you bring to the table and I think to have the knowledge of what you bring to the table. And I think to have the knowledge of what you bring to the table so much so that you feel like if I'm the only one eating at the table, that's enough for me because I know what I bring and I know

what I carry. And it sounds like that's what you discovered after you walked away from that moment. Absolutely. And you know what to speak to that? I want to be completely transparent. You know what? That lesson and that reckoning came in the stages as well. Like when I was on the floor in the cast of blanket airport, I was like, hey, just is really ratchet ghetto. Right? Like yes, this cast of likelanca. But you know what, the other, right? And the other part of like self discovery and realizing that like, I'm really worthy, really kind of came in stages after that. And, right, and I think my story's really maybe strange and odd because some months later, my husband found me and like,

some months later we got engaged and some months later we got married now. That's like oh yay I got my dream but I stopped looking for married but the interesting part was even after getting married I really have to do the hard work of like self-respect because people will just meet you where you are and give you a morticum of respect if that's all you have for yourself. So really kind of discovering that I'm really at a hundred here. Really took time and no matter how much I traveled and had this wonderful life, it didn't surmount to that in my mind. Like I really had to do the hard mental and like inside work of like self discovery and self worth. And my hope and every time I meet girls who go, oh, but you've got married after all, you have a beautiful ring. And I'm like, listen, that was a wedding. And like,

I hope you start doing like the hard work now before you even need anyone. Like that's really where the whole like magic is. I check my bank account just as much as I check social media and too often I've seen an unexpected withdrawal because I forgot to cancel a free trial subscription. Your girl needs to save all of her coins and with the help of True Bill, I have been doing just that.

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at TrueBill.com slash Woman Evolve. One average, people save up to $720 per year with TrueBill because companies make subscriptions hard to cancel. TrueBill makes it incredibly simple. Go right now. TrueBill.com slash Woman Evolve. It could save you thousands a year. Your TrueBill concierge is there when you need them to cancel unwanted subscriptions so you don't have to. I use TrueBill and you should too. Become a member at TrueBill.com slash WomneyValve. There are so many things that you just said that I feel like are worthy of standalone podcasts on their own because the idea of still having to do the work of self-respect in marriage.

It's so powerful. Oh my gosh, like we've gotta stay here for a minute because who your partner meets is a version of you that has not been fully unpacked. It hasn't been fully realized. You don't even know who you are in some seasons. And yet you're married to someone who is asking you to give you who you are and like give them who you are,

but you don't always know who that is. And so to go on that journey of discovering what does my self-worth look like? What does my self-respect, my value, in marriages very, very challenging because you have someone there who's watching you do the work, sometimes asking you questions about how you do the work or why you aren't working there,

at the same time, but you're trying to figure it out yourself. What does that mean to find that for me? When you say I had to discover my own self-respect and worth in marriage. Thank you. For sure. You know what?

I like giving anecdotes, so I'll explain it like anecdotally. I remember when I first got married and in my head, I was going to be like the beautiful wife and just like, do it over my husband and like cooking clean and be cute and have my nails done. Like it's so superficial. It's cute. It's good. That's all nice. But that really kind of was where the boat ended for me, like that was it. And then as I allowed myself to be comfortable in my skin, because I think after you get married,

you have a moment where you get to like, you exhale a little, you're like, okay, I don't have to do the most anymore in the sense of, you know, you don't have to do the most anymore. In the sense of, you know, you don't have to like overimpress or like, you know. And so I got to a point where I was like, okay, what do I really want now? Because I obviously achieved the only dream I've ever had since I was five apart from travel, which is to get married. So for me, what that self-respect journey looked like was me sitting down and going, what do you have to offer? Like not just to your husband,

but like to the world at large. Like, what do I have in me that I know God has put in there, and I have the duty that I'll bring it out and sort of nurture it and give it back to the kingdom, to my community, to the world. And for me, that was easy to define. But actually stepping into that was very disruptive for a lot of people who have known me for a long time. Even in marriage, it was like, who's this boss woman? All of it. Like, I just kind of morphed into this other person. And you can imagine how jarring that is for like everyone watching me like, wait, I thought you were this demure, you know, wife who wants to cook and clean all day.

But it's like, no, there's so much more in me and I have these talents and I want to nurture other people's purposes and, you know, connect them to resources and funding, and I know I can do it, and I have the ability, and there's so much more I can do. Even at work, they were like, what is going on? So for me, I was afraid to step into all of who I am.

I scared myself. I really did. And so I had to have conversations with myself with God, but also even with my husband. Yeah, to say, you know what? This is like this is who I think I am now and who I'm becoming. How do you feel about that? No, not like I need your permission, but like I just want to let me reintroduce myself to you. but I just want to let me reintroduce myself to you. Let me tell you, that is such confirmation about a project that I'm working on because we talk so much about inner development and how you break down your fears and how you overcome obstacles. But no one I see anyway is having a conversation about

how do I introduce that into the context of my world, into the context of relationships. Because we do often make transformations so black and white that it's like if you can't get with it, then you've got to go. But the truth is there are some relationships that I do want to massage into my next. I don't want to leave my spouse

because I found purpose. I don't want to have to stop talking to my friends and my family because I have found purpose. And so how do I reintroduce the fact that I am not the same person that you once knew, but I want you to walk in journey with me. And I don't think that the onus is just on the other person to get with the program.

You have to explain what the program is. Like where are you? How are you changing? How can someone serve you now that you have been changed and transformed? And that takes deeper work. So if you are gonna turn into this boss babe and they're used to you being quiet in the corner,

then as a boss babe, how do I serve this version of you? What's fun for you now? What's helpful? What's resourceful? Because a lot of people can come with us if we just tell them what we need in this next level of our life. Definitely in marriage,

that's something that we end up learning over and over again. As you're changing, my job is not to get you to stay the same person I married. My job is to discover how I can fall in love with who you are becoming and you should not marry someone who you do not want to journey with becoming. Like I want to journey with who you become.

If you're getting married and you're like, I need you to stay the same. I need you to never change. Then you are going to be tired. Cause let me tell you what they do. They check. I don't know who I married to from day to day. Who are we today?

Are we allointed? Are we going back to Watts? Like who are we in this moment? And that is a journey. It's so true. And I think there's also something to be said about like you walking in the fullness of who you are right now is so inspiring. Like back in the flip side of it being very scary and off-putting for people around you is it can be like incredibly inspiring for like your spouse and your friends and your family if you let it. So I really like what you're saying about like not going. It's not black and white like you're with me or you're not like that's so intense. Like it's like let's just inspire them into all so kind of being all that they are, because maybe they also met you

at like halfway full. Right? And so we can also kind of help them get there. And then like you said, journey together, it's such a journey. But I kind of also, I wish more emphasis. And I'm glad for your platform that more emphasis is placed on this journey starting even before marriage, like even before you have that boss day job and whatever, you know. I've always loved cooking and sometimes I enjoy cooking fancy meals. So I said to myself, self, we should document this, but child? These photos weren't giving, okay? The meals were fancy, but the photos weren't giving what need to be gave. I wasn't worried though, because I knew with the help of Skillshare's photography classes,

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freelancing, web development, and so much more. All of the classes are on demand and most are under 60 minutes. As a Skillshare member, you'll have the freedom and flexibility to watch and learn at your own pace while creating hands-on projects that you'll be proud of. Start exploring today on Skillshare.com slash evolve for a one-month free trial of premium membership. That's actually okay so that was the next thing because when I said there were so many things here that could be standalone podcasts within themselves. That's

one of the next things I was going to bring up, the romanticizing of marriage from the time that we are little girls. And the idea of there's something wrong with me. I mean, even in Genesis, after Eve eats from the fruit and God hands out the curse, he then tells her as a part of her curse, as a part of her consequence that you were going too long for your husband, you and your husband show rule over you.

He never said when he first created them and gave them dominion and gave them power, they were already complete. Like how are you longing for something you already have, but as a part of this curse, now you're going to long for something that is already within reach, which means that your focus is gonna be shifted

from having dominion from subduing the earth to only thinking about having dominion from subduing the earth to only thinking about having a husband. And I feel like between patriarchy and television and culture that what we see over and over again is a woman's one desire, her one definition in life should be to be someone's wife, someone spouse. And I just struggle with that because it is that pathology that led me to make some really challenging decisions in my own life. So I really try to empower women to feel whole and complete without being married. Not everyone is going to be married.

Not everyone's going to have to happily ever after. And it's hard when you sit in the club with your ring going to say this, but I came to a place where I felt like listen, I don't ever have to get married. Like I've got me, I'm a single mother, and I am fine. Like I am tired of getting it wrong. I'm tired of these people taking advantage of my body and my life and my money. I just want to be by myself and be whole and I genuinely meant it. And that's not like get there and then got Brings it to your life. No, like I lived there. That's where I lived.

I love that. I love that. No, you know what? Sarah sometimes I wonder like who is pushing this narrative because it's still uncomfortable. Yeah, and I know for me it wasn't just push It was like very graciously shoved out my skills. Yeah, graciously. And I was like, it graciously, I'm being kind. It was really shoved out my throat, you know, and it's like intercontinental. Like it's in Africa, it's in North America, it's everywhere. And so I don't know how we're going to overcome the very huge job of like indoctrinating women to understand it like this is not the be all an end all.

I remember after getting married, saying to my single friends, it's not the be all an end all. And just like you said, it was so easy, they're like it's so easy for you to say that. You've got to ring on, you have a home without a man. But I'm just like, but really it's not like you wake up the next day and you realize, it's not heaven, like you're still on earth and things have to keep going. So, I mean, I guess I also kind of want to ask you like,

how is it that we're going to help little girls and we're understanding this. Right, like how are are we gonna combat Disney? Well, yet we have first of all, our giants are big, but that's all right, we've got five smooth stones. Yes. I try to do it in little ways with my girls. Like, I mean, they've got all of these baby dolls, you know?

But I'm like, when you grow up, like what kind of business do you want to own? Where do you want to go to school? Where do you want to travel? I try to give them more options besides what do you want to own? Where do you want to go to school? Where do you want to travel? I try to give them more options besides what do you want to name your daughter. You know what I mean? Where do you want to get married?

Because I do think that that is a part of it. My daughter McKenzie, she is really gotten it. She's 12 and she's like, I want to own a business. I want to be an astronaut. I want to gymnastics. Like, she's like, I don't even know if I want to have children, I may adopt them, so she's open to the possibilities. My daughter Ella, but she also, she saw me as a single mother.

Now, my daughter Ella has been born in the context of a loving marriage, and so for her, she wants what she has seen, so I do try to offer her other options, you know? And I do think that there are some people, like they're gonna be called to marriage. Like that's gonna be a part of their identity, but I still try to offer her other options

so that she doesn't feel like every step she takes is supposed to be headed down the aisle, even, Trilline. I don't know. I think as a minister and as a person of influence though, that I have a responsibility to make sure that I am not echoing a culture that makes a woman feel incomplete unless she's married. To help them discover purpose, to create resources where they're understanding business and ministry and technology and all of the other avenues where a woman can become powerful outside of just being someone's spouse. And so that she doesn't put under pressure

on her husband because what happens is they feed us marriage over and over again. Then we get married and we're like, you haven't made me complete. I'm not happy today. You need to fix this. I'm hungry. You need to feed me when we have been empowered to make ourselves happy to find wholeness on our own through our relationship with the Lord. And so I don't want to be someone who continues to echo that. What are you going to do? We're going to take a joint effort. Oh, it is. I almost feel like we should have a campaign of like, what is everyone going to do? But I think, okay okay to play my part, I think what I think I should do is I think I need to really be a practical example of like a woman pursuing

business, right? Or venture like I am. I remember growing up and really wanting a lot. I remember my first dream was like to be a NASCAR driver, right? Right? Like in Nigeria, who dreams I did? But the fact of the matter is I think all these girls have all these dreams, but if they don't see those like practical examples, it's really sometimes hard to like envision themselves in that role. So I think for me, how I want to do it is I just kind of want to really be a pillar, like an example in my role, in venture capital, in tech, and just say, this is it. You can look like me, and you can be much younger than me, and want these dreams and go for it. You don't have to wait until you're 31 like me. You can start at 15 or 16 or whenever you dream it up. So for me, I think just practically like

living it out is the easiest way I know how to do that. I don't have children yet, but still, I just being example for high school students and whatnot representation. Yeah, representation is everything. So you're a black woman, adventure capitalist, is that right? I'm on track to being a venture capitalist right now. I manage tech accelerators, yeah, in our community. So, yeah, I pilot, architect, and manage tech accelerators that get people from the idea that they have to scale business. Okay, so someone's listening right now and even just hearing

about you in that field is exposure for them. How did you connect the dots between NASCAR driver? We missed a step. Wasn't in the airport in between NASCAR driver to the point. We missed this step. Wasn't in the airport in Casablanca. When did it happen? Were you like, you know what? I wanna get these people for their money and I'm gonna help them.

Right. Just like I'm just taking revenge. You know, but you know where it started actually. I told you I've been very keen about traveling and I didn't necessarily come from very, you know, I came from somewhat, you know, normal means, but I just wanted to travel since I was 10. So I just started traveling on my own from about 16

and just, you know, working and putting my money away and buying a ticket to here and there, whatever. And I remember I just thought I wanted to spend about you know a summer in California and just discover what was out there really. I don't know if anyone else is like me like does anyone get curious about other places? For sure. We just don't actually like save the money and go and do it. But someone is inspired because they're listening to you. Yay. So, so I bought a ticket. I had friends in California and I went there and I spent about two,

three months there. And a lot of them were in like Google and Apple and LinkedIn and whatever. So they were developers and they just, I just spent every day following them to work, eating free food at Google. And I just got exposed to this whole world of people who were innovators. Like they called themselves startup founders, you know, I'm like, who are you people, the audacity, right? To think of something and actually do it, right? And I just got exposed to this whole new world of people who were really daring, didn't

even have a lot, but just had a crazy idea and crazy tenacity. They're like, I know this is a billion dollar idea and I'm going to prove it. And I'm like, wow, this is a whole world I didn't actually know like really existed. And honestly, I didn't see a lot of at the time black people in it. So I just became obsessed. And so I came back to Canada from Silicon Valley and I didn't really see a lot happening. But slowly I started looking for text spaces to get involved with and someone offered me a job and I just took it, I held onto it and I ran with it

and I was like, I'm gonna get into venture because there are a lot of black people who've come up to me in the founders' phase and said, we need money. Can you get us money? And I'm like, does it look like I have money right now? Why does everyone keep asking me for money? And I'm like, maybe this is God telling me there's something here that I could do to help.

So yeah, so I just started architecting programs for black founders and finding funding for them and leading them to the well of money basically. So here I am kind of architecting out what my own VC is going to look like and raising that fund. And yeah, just wanting to lead with passion and purpose and help people who have ideas to change the world. When I'm out running errands or running behind one of our kids, the comfort of my Rothies lace-up sneakers have proven themselves to be top tier.

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So she started up here in the States. And she's got a lot of backing that I don't know. I just feel like you all should be connected. I have one more question for you. Then we're going to answer an advice question. So someone's listening and they're like, I have an idea. I don't have any money. But this idea is like in my head only at what a phase is an idea developed enough to go from just in my hands to can you help me fund it. In other words, like what plan, what strategy, what skeleton do we need to have before we can even have conversations with people like you? Okay, I love that. That's such a good question. So we'll keep it simple because we just believe in staying really lean. As soon as you have an idea,

you should immediately find any sort of pre-excelerator program. There are a lot of free ones, the ours is free, but I think you must be in Canada, but you can find a free accelerator where they'll take you from understanding what your minimum Bible product is. Right?

And so if you can't find any free accelerators and you're like, what is she talking about? It's okay. The simplest thing you can do is understand who your customer is. And the first thing you want to do is go to your customer and that might literally be your friends, your family, a survey that you put out to your school, etc. your community and ask them, would you use this product? Yes, no, why and why not? And they'll immediately tell you if that idea is viable or not.

A lot of people rush from idea to building, so product instead of a problem solution fit, which is understanding who your customer is, what they want, and whether they will actually use what you want to build. It saves you a ton of money, a ton of time. And when you understand that you have traction with your customer, then you can test out your first MVP. Keep it really lean. Sometimes it's just a landing page, right, that you paid 50 bucks to build, right, instead

of paying 5,000 or 50,000 for an app developer to develop something. So understand who your customer is, but you can always come to us with just an idea. Don't sit with it. Come to us immediately so we can plug you into a program and you can start testing these with a facilitator watching over you.

That's so good because I think a lot of people feel like in order for me to take this idea in my head and make it something that is viable, I need to have a hundred thousand dollars saved. I need to, and if I don't have a hundred thousand dollars then I can do nothing. But what you just said sounds so tangible for literally anyone to start right now working on an idea

that can become a million, billion, trillion dollar deal. And do you think, okay, I have one more question. Then I'll ask you about question. Yes, I'll ask you about question. I mean, when we see black women entrepreneurship and how it has grown exponentially over the last few years, I still feel, and I wonder if you feel the same way

that it is still an untapped market. When we feel like there aren't enough things that cater to us, it is our responsibility to then bring that to the table, instead of waiting on someone else to do it. Do you think that, especially, I mean, our audience is predominantly black women, but this applies to anyone who recognizes

that there is an untapped market in something that would be useful for me. How many ideas do you think are just waiting to be developed into something that ultimately changes the way we do life? Oh man, I love that question, Pax of Sarah. We'll start with a fact, right?. Only 1% of funded startups are actually in the black sector, which is really, really sad. You can understand women being even below that number. One thing we've realized is when you leave out an entire market group, you're leaving out entire ideas that will literally revolutionize the marketplace, right? And turn into dollars.

That's where you have the billions in the trillions. So there are a lot of investors right now who are just cancelling black women founders and leaving a lot of money on the table potentially. And so what I'm encouraging a lot of people to do is one, start looking for funds that have the thesis to actually fund black women founders. After George Floyd, there are a lot of funds that have kind of come up and a lot of thesis that have cropped up to help that demographic. would not even waste my time with a VC that is not after your demographic that doesn't care about you or your idea, because you'll be working closely with them. And in all fairness, the first round is usually a friends and family round. But if you can't tap into that and for many reasons, and that's fair, I

would focus all my energy on VCs that care about you, because they're out there now. Mine is coming, I promise, but there are quite a few now that care. I would start there, but more than anything, if that's not even viable for you, create traction, show viability, and then start doing even a crowdfunding. There are a lot of people now just in the world at large who want to give their money to black women founders, do we even have crowdfunding? There are a lot of people now just in the world at large who want

to give their money to black women founders, but I would focus my energy on VCs and I think it's it's a shame for those who don't fund black women tech founders or techy-nabel founders because they're the future. So it's like get with the program or you're just going to leave a lot of money on the table and a lot of amazing So each and some of the table as well. Thank you. Thank you for letting me pick your brain. I'm sure that's helping so many people plugged in good Learning new habits or using technology that makes life easier is my jam the quip electric toothbrush helps me accomplish both is my jam. The quip electric toothbrush helps me accomplish both. It's loved by over 7 million miles and has time sonic vibrations with 30 second pulses to guide a dentist recommended two-minute clean. I'm not saying you're in this number sis but check out this stat. Up to 90% of us don't

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Here's our advice question. Mm hmm. Okay, so it's a taboo subject in the Christian community. My church disregards it and often silently takes a patriarch approach. As a young woman, I'm 22 who works for her church, office admin, and serves in worship and youth ministry. I have found myself being disregarded and spoken down to many times due to my gender and age. I'm a very strong believer that God created women to have a voice within his church and

to lead using the gifts they are given. I believe in gender equality and want to fight for the same consideration and opportunity that men have. I understand that no church is perfect, but being directly disrespected and treated differently, unfairly is something I've had too much experience with within the church. And it brings me to my wit's end.

A couple of examples, the head elder had a question about our email system, so he came to me, office admin, to the only one who uses the email, and I answered his question. He didn't believe me, so he went to me, office admin, to the only one who uses the email and I answered his question. He didn't believe me. So he went to our tech guy who was never used the email system to see if he had something different to say. Also out of the elders, pastors, and worship leader, I'm the only woman. Every time I'm in a conversation with our youth pastor and any other male from the church, especially if they're in leadership, he literally talks over me.

I've had a lot of issues with being mistreated by him. I'm trying very hard not to be petty and remember he is my brother in Christ, but I'll tell you what, sometimes it's hard. On another note, on another note, what do I say to people who don't believe in women pastors? Like what if they don't think that's biblical and think it only, it can only be a man's job?

This is something I often struggle with because both of my parents and also all of my extended family who has saved our state because of female pastors. All of my extended family closest church has a female pastor who ministers to the community. I don't know. I guess it just boggles my mind to think that there are people who think that's a sin.

So how do I speak to that it off by saying, there's a lot of things that I want to say. But I'm going to start by saying, as it relates to women and equality within communities of faith, this is not something that is just relegated to the Christian community. This exists in faith communities throughout denominations. and equality within communities of faith. This is not something that is just relegated to the Christian community. This exists in faith communities throughout denominations and different religious systems. What I will say is this, that there is some very fundamental teaching in the Bible

that shows Jesus using women in order to spread the news that he has been risen. There are women who funded Jesus ministry, God has used women time and time again throughout scripture. And a further dissection of the word will help you to unpack some of the scriptures where we see Paul telling women to be silent in church

because people were over talking one another. But once again, that takes studying. And a lot of times we just take scripture and we pass it from person to person without breaking it down in its proper context. When we break it down in proper context, we see that at the end of the day in Joel, when God says that he's gonna pour out his spirit

on all flesh and that his sons and daughters will prophesy that a woman prophesying is not anti-god at all as a matter of part is the fullness of God. So I will say that as it relates to women preachers and speakers. Secondly, I will tell you, you may need to find another church home. If you are in this space where you feel like

you are not being respected, unless you feel like I am called to change the culture of this organization, God has specifically placed me here, and I will undergo whatever persecution is connected place me here and I will undergo whatever persecution is connected to it and I'm going to stay planted here that's an anointing that is a

call that is between you and the Lord but if you feel like this is diminishing my anointing, this is diminishing my relationship with God, I'm not able to function in the fullness of who God has called me to be. You need to find another church to your point. There are plenty of churches where women can be respected, where they are valued, and you may be missing out on an opportunity to continue blossoming because you're staying connected to this community.

Last thing I'm going to say, and I'm going to turn it over to my girl, is like, this is not just something that exists in church. I bet you, even though I am not in the VC world, that this is something that happens in the VC world. This is something that happens in corporations and nonprofits. A woman being overlooked is not new. This is something that we have been used to because of the thousands and thousands and thousands of years of oppression that women have experienced.

But that doesn't mean that there isn't an opportunity for us to break those ceilings. What you think, girl? Ooh, that was so good. I love that. I also love the scriptural references for women preachers. My mom is a woman preacher in Nigeria. My dad's also a preacher and their business people as well.

But here's the thing. I'm not even gonna piggyback on what you said because you kind of covered scriptural references. I'm with you with maybe just move on to different plays. I just, I would say don't even, you know, expend your energy, just move on to different plays. And I think for me, if like equality and seeing fairness across the gender board with men and women

serving in the Lord's house is important to you, then look at the leadership structure as well. Before you even commit to somewhere, I'd say, if you see women actively in leadership roles at church, that's probably a pretty good indicator that, you know what, they're going to respect you, even if you're female, right? So I would look at that, but I would, you know, it's short and sweet. I just wouldn't waste my time. Move on. Move on. There are too many wonderful churches, not too. All right, so you asked for our advice and we gave it to you. Before we close out, do you have any questions for me or anything that I can answer about my life and my experiences?

Oh, of course, of course, I cannot pass of this opportunity. Sarah, I guess, you know, you're doing so much for women, and I love that. I think we all love that. We all appreciate that. Where do you kind of see, I know that you mentioned there are a few things coming. Can you give us a few hints around that? Oh. Okay. You know, usually I am a member of Mindrebusiness Ministries. But for you and the delegation, I am willing to just take off my membership hat for a minute.

You know, I think that my number one desire for Womeninghvov is to fully be built out as a resource that is able to serve every facet of a woman's needs. And to really, when I say resource, I mean real practical tools with courses for parenting to how to get funded. I want to cover the gamut of what it means to be a woman. And I want no woman left behind. I want the teen mom. I want the single mom. I want the cover the gamut of what it means to be a woman and I want no woman left behind. I want the teen mom, I want the single mom, I want the woman who's coming out of prison, I want the college graduate, I want the doctorate, I want every woman to feel like she is equipped with everything that she needs to ultimately establish the kingdom in her circle and community. I know that women are so very powerful and yet our power

is often diluted because we don't feel like we have the confidence or the tools or the skills in order to really allow that power to show up in our lives. And so every day the team and I were thinking of ways of really getting the right tools in the hands of the right women so that they can become everything that God's called them to be. That is amazing. I think we can all align with that. So, yay. Thank you for sharing that. That's awesome. Thank you for doing this podcast with me. You're amazing. And I can't wait to hear about all the incredible things you do.

And ways that we can maybe support it. We need more venture capital funds from Black women. So let me know if there's anything that I can do to be a part of that. Thank you so much. Well, you know what, I'll keep you posted for sure and let you know when that's all public. So thank you. Thank you.

Take care. Take care. Bye. Sky, girl, you are as limitless as the sky itself and I cannot wait to just like get in a hot air balloon and watch you pass us by. I can't wait to see how you change this world. Your light is so bright, darkness has no choice but to break when you step into any atmosphere. We're praying for you as you lead the way with all of us behind you. Delegation. Please hit us up. What do you think about the podcast? Do you want to

be a co-host? Maybe you have an advice question that we can help you with. Hit up podcast at warmlybawv.com and let us know what's happening in your world. How can we serve you? That's what we're here to do. I'll be waiting for you until next time. Take care of your heart. you