Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Hope for a New Perspective of Possibilities w/ Tiara Brown

Episode Date: February 1, 2023

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a tea you need boundaries. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your validation. All I need is a God party for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Child. So they say it's January. One of the things I love about this time of the year is that we're all generally teaming with excitement. New is in the air. We have resolutions or some of us are resisting resolutions. but if we're honest, low key, there's an undercurrent of us trying to figure out how do I want to show up this year? What do I want to change? What modifications do I need to make?

This year for woman evolve our focus is on hope. That means that all year long we're going to be talking about the hope that comes in our world, how we can embrace it, how do we protect it, how do we maximize it in those seasons where it feels a little low. So for January, we thought it was appropriate to start off with hope for new. There are so many things we start focusing on when we start thinking about what we want to have hope for when it comes to new. I think about how do I want to show up, how do we want to have hope for when it comes to new. I think about how do I want to show up? How do I want to change the way that I do business? How do I want to change the way that I am in relationship with others?

Well, this week we're going to talk about the hope for new perspective of possibilities. When I started praying about this, I really wanted us to take a minute and think about how our lives changed, not necessarily because everything in them changes, but because our perspective on what's possible begins to change. There's a scripture in Mark, it's Mark 1, 14 through 15, and it's the New King James version, but it's when John was put in prison,

and Jesus came to Galilee, and he's preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and he's saying, gospel of the kingdom and he's saying the time is fulfilled and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent and believe in the gospel. Now if you grew up like I did in church when you hear the word repent you automatically start trying to figure out what it is that you need to change about you because something is wrong. This word though is not as scary as some of the old church mothers may have had us to believe because repent is literally about changing the way that you think.

Repenting, penting that pen is about perspective and mindset. I need to change the way I'm thinking because as a man, think it. So is he. So when we start talking about repenting, I think it comes down to really recognizing that there is a new perspective of possibilities that are available to us. And so if I change my mind, I can change what's possible

for my life. This week I am excited to introduce you to Tiara. Tiara is this beautiful soul who I got to have a conversation with, and we talk about having hope for a new perspective. But oftentimes that hope for a new perspective comes through trying times, through difficulties. And so if you're listening to this podcast and you are hanging on to hope,

or maybe you're facing something that feels a bit challenging, I want you to know that we have you in mind. And it is my prayer that by time this conversation is over that you would have a new perspective not because everything changed but because you changed the way that you were seeing everything. And when you change, may the possibilities become so tangible that you go and get them. Let's go. Hey girl, how are you? I'm well, how are you? I'm well, how are you?

I'm doing great, thank you for doing this with me. Of course. I heard hope is your word for the new year too. Absolutely. Tell me about it. So for this new year, I'm just hoping to look at things in a new perspective. Last year, I sat down with God and I asked him a lot of questions.

I'm like, why are you doing this to my life? Why am I isolated? Why aren't my blessings born in the way that you used to pour them into me? And I realized that he had me covered. He had me in a moment of rest and I realized that I had to look at his period of isolation as a rest in period because when that time does come when the blesses start rolling in, the rest is going to not be as available as it is now. So I had to look at the isolation and the rest and a different perspective or else I was not gonna trust on him too much. And our relationship has just grew over this year because I had to surrender and once I did surrender, that's when everything started aligning and it was only this first second week of this year and I already

see if the render has done for me. Really? Okay, so I want to know about like what surrender has done for you, but I also want to know, what did you learn in the isolation? Because I think that all of us go through seasons where it's maybe we're not physically isolated, but it's just difficult to connect with people the way that we once did. What did isolation teach you that you are grateful for now? Isolation taught me how people treat you based on what you have or what you don't

have. And it taught me how, who is going to be in my life, they have to accept me without the gold in the gold. So it taught me how, yes, you can have money, you can have the material items in the possessions. However, the people who truly love you, all they required for you is to show up. And I can show up with nothing. I can show up and make it. And they're still going to take certain love me.

So it showed me the strength of those spiritual connections. And it taught me how to rely on myself. Because in 2021, I moved across the country by myself just want to leave a faith and it just told me that I can do what I said I'm going to do so that isolation had built my strength up. Okay so I want to break that down a little bit because when you talk about like showing up I think that there's a part in me that's like I am going to show up when I'm strong, when I am knowledgeable, when I feel like I have abundance within me. But I feel like this year, in addition to hope

that my word is confidence. And I feel like confidence is not about showing up when everything is going well, it's not about showing up when you feel like you're at your best, but trusting that you can show up in whatever state you're in. And that's okay, that there's no judgment connected to how you're showing up in whatever state you're in and that's okay that there's no judgment connected to how you're showing up in any given moment that it's all a part of the human experience.

And so I wonder, can you tell me like how has your perspective on showing up? How has that changed since you've gone through the isolation? And maybe you could give me an example of when you like actively chose to like, I'm showing up raggedy. Like I'm showing up like the girl is not where she needs to be, but this is where the girl is. So this is how the girl is coming. So tell me about some times where you've shown up and you're like, this is my true, this I'm living in truth. And right now, the truth is looking the way is looking. Absolutely. So as an accountant in the entertainment industry,

I kind of started my role very entry level. However, I was very advanced. Like, I am management level. I can run my department level. And I knew that it was a period of, you need to learn the atmosphere. You need to learn the environment. So I'm like, why are you?

Why do I'm yet entry level? When you know I'm a man, drama studio. So I had to show up in those rooms where I wasn't deemed the smartest or the most important in the room and still speak my truth. So I'm on a meeting with agents and executives. And to them, I'm just not as important as their role. And I'm like, I need more black accountants. I need to be more financially literate. I need help in this area. So showing up in spaces where your voice can be ridiculed or it can be looked at in a different way.

I just had to keep going in that path. So just showing up in those executive meetings when I wasn't an executive, but still standing and being able to hold those conversations. It just taught me that I am a leader and I am deserving to be in this room and it doesn't matter my role. You hear my voice, if you see my face, and people do the rest. So showing up when I know that it's a battle, it's going to be a risk. I just had to keep going in that way. I feel like in order to do that,

there is an inherent trust in your value that you must possess so that you believe that when you open your mouth, that when you are speaking up in those meetings or showing up in those rooms, that you have something that is worth adding value, that's definitely been like, I think my number one struggle is like believing that I could add value to a conversation to another person, I think as a result of that,

I always found myself overextending myself because I just didn't believe that what I was giving was enough. So it's like how can I give more, how can I give more to prove, or not even, that what I was giving was enough. So it's like, how can I give more, how can I give more to prove? Or not even, I think I was telling myself that I wanted to prove I was valuable, but I think in hindsight and with some growth

that I didn't trust that I was valuable. So I felt like your only as good as what you did, you know, a few minutes ago, like what can you do now? And I think that constant competition with yourself to prove that you are valuable is just the result of insecurity. And I think part of the work that I've been doing is to really trust that my values not in my performance,

it's not in what I do for others. My value is in how I think and how I be the world and my willingness to be willing to share that without need for validation, but trusting that it can make, you know, whatever circumstance or person better. So I wonder, like, what has been your journey with value and like self-worth? How has it evolved or how have you kept it intact? Because I don't want to assume everyone's had to go through the same struggle. So like, how did you preserve it or how did you go back there and restore it?

I would say I had a very interesting journey on self-love and self-worth. And redefining with luxury means for me is luxuries, the freedom to be able to explore. And on my path, I had the luxury to be able to explore. And on my path, I have the luxury to be able to explore myself. Who am I? Where am I going? Where have I come from? What's in my DNA?

And what do I want, what changed do I want to see in the world? And I'm in college, but I was going on vacation. So I was, you know, not a traditional path of success. I'm like, I need to fill my spirit. I need to know who I am because when I walk into the rooms, those people can't tell me who I am. So for me to restore myself and really value myself and have that boundary of respect. I did a lot of healer work. I went to therapy for the first time last year and I was able to look myself

in the mirror with the bad ugly and when you are able to love your shadow, when you're able to love those steamingly, unloving things, you just grow a different relationship with yourself and I'm not as hard in myself anymore because while I'm not perfect, I am a human and I'm going to experience different nuances and just knowing that perfection is not what God acts as asked. He just asked me to show up. It has led me to a more peaceful and, you know, path of restoration because I didn't have to exhaust myself. I didn't have to prove to him who I was. He knows my name, gave it to me, and he's like, I have your path of blood for you.

So just trusting him and surrendering to his acceptance, I was able to really restore myself and just love myself fully. Okay, so I think that's like the perfect segue to talk about where like just a couple weeks into the new year and you told me that you can already tell why that isolation was so necessary. So let me mind your business for a minute. Like what we doing this year, what's up? tell why that isolation was so necessary. So let me mind your business for a minute.

What are we doing this year? What's up? So this year, where we launch into businesses, this tax is in my accounting firm will be available for services. And I have an open line where I heal through my art and my professional work, like with a company, I'm being put in leadership roles.

So this year, I'm moving from the back of the classroom. I'm going front-end and I'm pleased by visibility. So this year, I'm going to be seen, heard, and I know that I can't run anymore. So this year, it's outside. Okay, so what is possible for you now that you once thought was impossible, whether that was last year or 10 years ago, maybe when you were a little girl,

like what is possible that you once thought was impossible? It's possible right now for me to have it all. And for me, having it all is being in a position to create opportunity and connect with one and youth, but also being able to fall in love. So having the career, having the business, but also coming home to that heavenly energy. So just having it all on both sides serving but also being served. Oh, this is, let's go deeper. Why do you think that you once thought it was impossible? I thought it was impossible because the way that I viewed love, the way that I experienced love, I didn't feel that my counterpart was almost earth.

I felt like my dream in homes of love was so out of this world that it was just a dream, that it was just a fantasy. But now that I'm living in my dream, I'm driving my dream car, I'm in my dream role, my dream man has to be ready and available for me. There's no way that I must serve and I won't be served. So I just know that now that I'm stepping into my path, someone is gonna walk with me or meet me at the end of the time. I love that. How do you go about protecting that hope?

Because I feel like that's like my focus for the year. I think so many of us start off in this space of hope or like so excited about whatever our target is, whatever our new perspective on our journey is gonna be. But then we experience disappointment or things take longer than we anticipated. What are you doing to protect your hope in that area of your life?

One thing that I love to do is I write to love every day. Even when it's not physically available for me, I'll write a German and say, Dear love, I had a great day today. I wish that I could tell you how I experience such joy and I know I'll see you soon. So it's just like writing to that love and knowing that it's there, I'm waiting for me. So I just connect to it,

even though it's not physically present. That's amazing because I think it keeps it at the forefront of your mind and it keeps it real, it keeps it tangible. I think what I love about your story, which is something that I try to encourage women all of the time is like, your life does not have to be

on hold until your dream love arrives. Like, you can still pursue the career, you can still travel, and I love even seeing you launching your businesses. I want to talk a little bit about your purpose, specifically when it relates to financial literacy, because I feel like that's something that is so important for underserved

communities who haven't had the knowledge or even the luxury of being able to look beyond just surviving and into how do I sustain and then have overflow. Why do you think financial literacy is so because it's the physical manifestation of our energy. So it's our resources. It's how we're going to move throughout the world. And being financial literate means that you're able to make long-term decisions and you're able to move accordingly in the way of your money is flowing because when you're stagnant or when you are viewing finances

in a way of desperation or in a way of lack you're gonna see holes in your finances you're gonna see holes in your financial abundance. So I believe being financial literate it declares a certain level of freedom and a certain level of independence that wouldn't be offered if you weren't financial literate. Money is a tool that we have to coexist with. There's no way around it. We'll being able to coexist, we also have a healthy relationship. Your your stages changes in your life. You'll see just changes in your life. Are you restless during the day due to trouble sleeping at night? Girl, I've been there.

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with money because when you said that you know if you have a lack mentality then going to be limited. But there are some people who look at their finances, like this ain't a lack mentality, like this is a lack factual, like this is a fact that I don't have enough or things are just not flowing in the way that I need. How do you change your perspective if you can't change your income? You have to rely on your faith and you have to have a certain level of delusion because it's kind of like an unknown spirit, it's unknown, right? You have to trust in the mystery that, hey, I don't have it now, but in the future it may come. And there's an equal that I love so dearly and it says,

my father is rich. This is his world. This is his land. So therefore, resources are unlimited and available for me. I just need to act. So I just need to new route. I'll give you an example of you want new money. However, you have bills that need to be paid.

You didn't make room for new money to come because you exhausted those resources here. So it's like you have to have an account and we call it a balance of the wealth. So it's like your expenses versus your income is your equity. So therefore, if you are putting out more that's coming in, you have to reroute, you have to change your equation. And it's about money management and that ties into managering emotion. Are you in-posting the buying? Are you buying to keep up with others? What are the needs of your finances? Because I feel another thing with being financially literate is we want a lifestyle.

We don't want love. You want the cars, you want the houses. That's not wealth, that's just riches. You buy a car that's gonna depreciate immediately. You buy a house, it needs of depreciated right you buy a house is going to be in these replays and these improvements so redefining what wealth looks like and looking at that in the long run is just going to be so important. Wow that is I think such vital information for us to really understand I think even as we're growing I I think that, you know,

many of the people who listen to this podcast are at an age where they're really beginning to evaluate their careers. And what path do they want to take? And ultimately, how do they get to a place of abundance and wealth and even generational wealth when applicable? So I think that that mentality is, it's paradigm shifting. And I think that it affects generations. Is it something that you kind of I want to say inherited or did you have to learn

financial literacy in the school of heart knocks? I feel my family connects on business. We always were money motivated and it was always embedded into me. However, I just had to step further with management and the long run in the investment. So I feel like it was embedded in me, but I had to go launch that path. And another thing that I would like to speak on about changing your perspective on money is settling. About last year, I want an extra income because I like self-care, like to splurge, I like to have facials, get my nails and hair done, and I had an opportunity on the table, but I would have had to sacrifice my integrity. I

would have had to sacrifice my time. So while that money was there, while that bag was available, I had to choose myself for the money. So you have to make decisions based on integrity, based on, you don't want to sacrifice anything, you don't want to have to compromise yourself just because you need money. Wow. Okay, so I have a question for you.

It's going to seem a little random, but I'm going to bring it home. Who is the most important woman in your life? My mother. Mm. Tell me about her. Oh. If I had, if I didn't know who God was,

I would think it was my mother. Wow. If she needed my heart right was, I would think it was my mother. Wow. If she needed my heart right now, we could take it. My mother is just... Oh, my mother is just so beautiful because I'm allowed to show up in her home and she still loves me. I'm allowed to be a child. I'm allowed to go follow my dreams.

I'm allowed to do whatever Tara wants to do and she supports me. And it's just so beautiful that her love does not depend on me showing up in any way. I remember I told her when I moved to California, I'm like, thank you so much. And she's like, I already knew you were gonna do it. You're just, your mind can do anything.

You're so powerful. So just having someone who lives for you. It's the most powerful for you can have because I feel like my mother, she had me when she was 19 and she understood her assignment. She became a mother and from there on, it just told me that the power of a woman, the strength of a woman, and the love of a woman,

went for one of her burdens that told her, if I can be half the mother you are, I will be, I will accept that. She's just her love and her support and her, her desire to nurture it and be different. Others that are not even her own, it's just hope you're whole to witness. Okay, so one of the things that I want to do this year is

I want to figure out the women who have shaped the lives of the women I get to connect with. And so what's your mother's name? Taisha. Taisha. to figure out the women who have shaped the lives of the women I get to connect with. And so what's your mother's name? Taisha. Taisha. Taisha. So I am honored to get to know Taisha through you today.

I'm wondering when you look at her life, when you look at the impact that she's made on your life, what is one thing that you hope she knows about her existence. That she is deserving of love and the walk-in vessel of love dream that she has, and that she doesn't have to... She doesn't have to put her life on hold for us anymore because I'm okay, I'm all right. And I can...

She built me up and she was so much loving to me that I don't need you anymore. You're free. You can go flying or you're self-president at this big age. At this big age, I love it. My mother, I feel like you talk about your mother the way that I speak about my mother. And I know what it's like when they take that responsibility seriously, they understand the assignment. They don't always see when the graduation has occurred.

And so I think the greatest gift that we can give the woman who did show up for us in those ways is telling them, hey, this like throw that cap in the air, you graduated now the lift. So I hope she gets to hear this and hear you say that. We're gonna answer an advice question together. You ready? Yes. Okay, it says, hi, Pastor Sarah, how are you and here you say that. We're gonna answer an advice question together. You ready?

Yes. Okay, it says, Hi Pastor Sarah, how are you and how are you coping with all the new happening in your life just so you know I'm so proud of you, my leader. Now to my question, SJR, I'm getting married and after praying about it, I know he's the one. Marrying him will mean I have to move from Nigeria to Manchester UK.

That's where I'm struggling, because I know God is pulling me out of my comfort zone for growth, but the truth is, even thinking of it makes me go blank. I don't know what to expect, so therefore I don't even know how to prepare for this new phase of my life. I don't even have the eagerness to prepare for all that God is bringing me. My biggest fear is inadequacy. What if I'm not equipped for it? SJR, please, how do you bring yourself

to prepare for new heights, even when you feel small or overwhelmed? I've seen you do this over and over, even in that don't drop the mic moment. I saw it. I know it's the Holy Ghost, but I just keep feeling like there's something I have to do. I don't know if you'll be able to understand my dilemma,

but I trust the Holy Spirit has put a word in your heart for me. OK, I'ma let you kick it off. OK. My advice will be is to do nothing but show up. What's on the other side is something that you've never saw before.

So you're not going to know how to maneuver. One of the things about the mystery and one of the things about trying to get to the other side is you have to trust that what's over there, it may be scary because it's new territory. However, you have your husband by your side now. You have God by your side now. So you're not going to that other side of home. You have someone ready and available for you to experience this new journey.

So know that your husband is by your side and he just wants you to show up and let God do the rest. Just show up. That's so good. I'm gonna take like, I'm gonna say the same thing you said, but I'm gonna just say it differently because that way people will be like,

oh wow, say it says something different, but I'm not, I'm not gonna say anything different. Okay, so walking with God be like this. You walk into your kitchen, you look at the refrigerator, you look in the pantry and you say, I don't have nothing to cook. You go into another room and you get ready to order something. And God's like, you know what, go in the refrigerator, you look in the pantry, and you say, I don't have nothing to cook. You go into another room, and you're getting ready

to order something. And God's like, you know what? Go in the kitchen. We're about to make a six-course meal, and you're going to have people over. And you like, God, I don't have what it takes. I don't have enough ingredients. I don't even have anything to work with.

And God's like, are you going to trust me? You go into the kitchen. And let me tell you about this guy we serve. He tells you, ingredient by ingredient. He doesn't me tell you about this guy we started. He tells you ingredient by ingredient. He doesn't even tell you what the meal is going to be. You don't know if it's going to be hot or cold. You don't know if you're going to need the oven. If you don't even know what you're going to be working with,

but ingredient by ingredient, God tells you little by little how we're going to prepare this table in the presence of your enemies. So many of us want to know the full picture immediately, but God never gives us the full picture. He just gives us one step of a brush stroke. So I say to you, my friend, as you prepare to embark on this beautiful new journey of marriage,

if you're feeling inadequate, you're probably right. If you had this, you would not need God and you would not need faith. I say that inadequacy is your superpower and scripture backs it up. It says that his strength, Jesus strength is made perfect in your weakness. So when you feel inadequate,

it's time to tap into the superpower and say, I'm nervous, I'm scared, but I'm gonna show up anyway because I trust that everything is an alignment and my obedience will reveal ingredient after ingredient that will help me prepare this beautiful, beautiful meal that will be my life that will feed generations after generations. All I have to do is show up. So we're on the same page. Show up.

And I think that it goes back to control. When we know everything, we feel like we're in control. I have I have the blueprint. I have the layout. Now I know how to maneuver. It's blindly trusting and blindly being led to know that, okay, let me surrender control to him and let him hold my hand and see how you live for myself. So release control and surrender. Okay, so that, I think that's like a beautiful way to start landing the plane because when I think about hope for a new perspective of what's possible, I have to relinquish my need for control. I think a lot of my perspective is limited to what I think is possible and what is within my control.

And I think that that makes me feel comfortable and sometimes it makes me feel powerful, but I also know that it makes me feel stagnant. So I have been practicing when I wake up in the morning to remind myself anything could happen. Anything could happen. You could get a phone call that something has gone terribly wrong. You could get one phone call that changes your life for the rest of your life. But if you insist that this day goes exactly as you plan, you will miss out on the beauty of what's possible when you surrender to it not being in your control.

So my homework, my semester final, my doctorate, my thesis, all of it, is on releasing my need to be in control and trusting that whatever comes in my way, God feels like I can handle it and show up for it or create a boundary and so I'm leaning into moments instead of seasons and I am trusting that I'll look back and that will be most fulfilling for me. What are you hoping to have a new perspective on this year? I'm hoping to accept the contrast better. The situations I just speak of, like I'll use the example of,

I wanna go drive to the mall. There's gonna be so many variables out of my control. There's gonna be traffic, there's gonna be other cars, we may be in accident. I need to learn how to accept the contrast better and know that while that is still present, I am not off my path. Wow.

I can still exist in this environment where there's discomfort and maybe K.R. but I'm still aligned with my path. And if there is a regret that needs to be made, I know that help is on the way. So learning to accept the contrast better and knowing that it doesn't mean I'm not strong in my path. So good, so good.

Tierra, thank you so much for talking to me. I love your spirit. I love the way that your words are laced with such grace and compassion. So thank you for sharing your light with me. Oh, thank you so much. And I just want to give thanks to you for sharing your space with me and your service to the world because one of my favorite quotes from listening to your podcast, I believe it may happen on a broader house. And it was either yourself or your husband.

And he said, if heaven sent it, earth must accept it. And I'm like, I'm heaven sent. So I have to be accepted. So from there on, I knew that I'm accepted into the heavenly gates. It just pours so much light and spirit into me. Oh, I love that. And it's evident, it's evident,

because you're definitely glowing. Thank you, love to you. Thank you so much. Take care. See you. Thank you so much. Take care. Thank you. Bye.

Delegation, I love y'all for real, like in real life. And Tierra, I already told you your light is shining so brightly. It was such a pleasure connecting with you. My hope is for this episode to encourage listeners to dig deep and remain open to all things new, the possibilities are endless.

I'll talk to you next week. you