Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - If Freedom Had A Sound

Episode Date: April 30, 2025

Title: If Freedom Had A Sound   Description:  Sis…we’re back! After an unplanned but necessary pause, Sarah Jakes Roberts returns to the mic with a raw and unfiltered solo episode that feels li...ke catching up with your best friend and your favorite preacher all in one. She’s talking everything from running (yes, she’s a runner now!), life with her new puppy Cabo, and the unexpected lessons from a 45-day challenge, to spiritual growth, forgiveness, and breaking free from mental limitations.  She’s sharing how God’s been stretching her, what He’s saying for Woman Evolve this year, and how to identify the quiet choices that lead to lasting growth. Oh—and the Mind Your Business inbox? Wide open.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 I know you lying. I know you not just busting through these AirPods, this speaker, this car, like you ain't been gone. Like where have you been? Did you get out your system yet? Are you ready to come at me from a place of forgiveness? If this is your first time listening to the woman involved podcast, you don't even know what we're talking about.
Starting point is 00:00:19 But for those of you who have been wondering where I've been at, I'm going to just need y'all to just calm down, cool off, cool your jets. I'm actually recording this Monday, April 28th, and I wanted to create this intro because I actually recorded an episode for you all that was supposed to drop today or whenever you're listening to it. But something happened over the weekend that I felt was worthy of discussing and I didn't want that first time that we connected for me to be holding out on you. So you are probably so busy in your own world doing your own thing that you have no idea
Starting point is 00:00:58 fully what's taking place in my life or on the socials that I have shared. And so I just wanted to share that over the weekend, my father announced to the congregation that my husband and I would be assuming the senior leadership, senior pastoral role of the Potter's House Dallas. The formal installation is supposed to take place in July, but this was his way of announcing to the congregation what we've been working on, I guess, for the last few years.
Starting point is 00:01:28 To say working sounds probably a little bit more intentional than what has actually been happening because we've probably more just been feeling and discerning over the last few years, trying to hear God's voice, trying to understand his cadence, his rhythm, and I don't know, the will as it relates to our destiny, our anointing, the potter's house where my dad was in his life. And it was unexpectedly emotional to be honest. I think we've been speaking, when we speak to one another, we've kind of been talking about timing, logistics. My father will be, in two years it would make 50 years of him preaching the gospel. And we've been in Dallas, the Potter's House Dallas, has been around for almost 30 years. And so I
Starting point is 00:02:19 think cognitively he knew that like he wanted to set up a plan so that the Potter's House didn't just end with him. And so he's been seeking the Lord for different voices, different anointings to see what God would desire. And I think it just became increasingly clear that something special, something anointed just felt aligned with us being in that role and position. And we've been so busy, I think, spiritualizing, trying to make it logistically make sense, introducing ourselves to the culture of the Potter's house and the Potter's house to us
Starting point is 00:02:56 that we didn't really take any emotional toll, emotional inventory about what this would mean. And it wasn't until we were standing in front of the congregation on Sunday that the weight of the emotional toll hit all of us. Different than women that were loose where I felt like I was the one who was drug through the mud and crying and just, although I did get my ugly face cry on Sunday. My heart really just kind of, I want to say it broke for my dad, but it's not because something sad was happening.
Starting point is 00:03:29 I think it was the first time that I realized just how much the Potter's house has meant to him. It makes sense on paper because I know that in order to build the Potter's house that our family experienced a lot of sacrifice. And maybe I've been so blinded by what I thought I lost as a PK, how I felt I suffered that I didn't realize how much the Potter's house had meant to him. And I think that's the vantage point that time gives you, the vantage point that empathy gives you, the vantage point that empathy gives you.
Starting point is 00:04:05 And while I don't think that it at all delegitimizes our experiences as, you know, PKs, you know, my father couldn't be present for many of the things that were in our life because he was building this incredible movement. He was being led by God into uncharted territory and it took everything he had to throw himself in the direction of that calling. And we as a family, I think we picked up the pieces, we did what we could. But in that moment, I saw that you don't pour all of yourself into something. You don't sacrifice time with your family, time with your spouse, your body, and that not mean something.
Starting point is 00:04:45 I thought in many ways that Woman Thou Art Loose was a part of his life's work, and it was and it is. But I think that he was, that was once a year. This was a Woman Thou Art Loose was a once a year conference, whereas The Potter's House, I mean it marked, it marked our lives. It has changed our lives. And so I feel grief for my dad because I know even when it's a good goodbye, it can still be painful.
Starting point is 00:05:18 And goodbye is dramatic because I told him, you still going to be preaching. You not fitting to leave me. You not fitting to leave us up here on Sundays. But you know, it is an ending of an era. And so I think I was really wrapped up in the grief of that. This morning I woke up, like I said, it's the Monday after and I've never had a hangover like this. And I took 10 shots of Everclear one night after a really dark season.
Starting point is 00:05:44 I have never had a hangover like this and there was no alcohol involved. I think I woke up this morning and felt the weight of the world. I felt a sobriety, I felt a real humility, a pressure as it relates to what assuming this leadership role is gonna look like for my husband and myself.
Starting point is 00:06:06 And so I didn't want to just kick off this episode without acknowledging that. Like I said, we, I think we've been, like I said, we've been talking for the last few years about transition, but it was right before Easter where my father is happy Resurrection Sunday. It was right before Resurrection Sunday. I be trying not to say Easter. You know, I grew up saying Easter, but it's resurrection. Anyways, stay on, please stay focused.
Starting point is 00:06:29 It's our first time talking a long time and you out here rambling. But anyway, I knew that the timing was coming. I didn't know that it would be the same week that the podcast came out. And so I wanted to share my heart with you, share my vulnerability with you. I haven't really said anything personally on social media.
Starting point is 00:06:49 I've just collaborated with Post. And so it felt fitting to just share with you all that I feel a grace, a weight. I feel the weight of grace. I feel the weight of grace. I feel in the deepest part of my spirit ready and in the lowest part of my humanity like I want to hide. And yet I say yes and I surrender and I go forward anyway. I love you. I'm so glad to be back. I'm going to explain my absence.
Starting point is 00:07:22 You're going to hear it in just a minute. You'll hear my absence, but I'm back. I love this podcast. I love connecting with you. I love doing life with you. And I'm so sorry for the hiatus, but I'm so grateful that we get to walk this thing called life out together. This is going to be the most unorthodox out of the box podcast that you've ever. No, that's not probably.
Starting point is 00:07:51 That's actually probably not true because I used to do these on Facebook Live. But listen, I am back and I know so many of you have probably been wondering like where have you been? What happened? Some of you probably didn't even realize that I wasn't podcasting because you've been so caught up in your world. Or maybe it's your first time listening no matter where you are. I want to explain a little bit about what has been happening in my world and my overall podcast journey. I recorded my last episode in December and I knew that
Starting point is 00:08:17 I was going to be taking a little bit of a break. I let you all know that I was going to take a break. But y'all probably thought like, okay, sis, break until January. We're all on break. It's winter break, but we will see you in January. I too thought January. I could not have imagined that it would be this long. But there were some things that we wanted to work out on the back end of podcasting on the technology side, partnership side, ad side, that took so much longer than even
Starting point is 00:08:42 I could have expected. And though I have enjoyed some of the downtime, I miss having you guys in this outlet and this opportunity for connections. So I am so sorry that it's been a long time. I shouldn't have left you without a hot podcast to check into, but I'm back, I'm back, I'm back. And we have some exciting interviews. I've done a lot of recording different interviews
Starting point is 00:09:07 I've got some exciting concepts and some Exciting topics for us to explore and grow and evolve in but I didn't want to just jump in Business as usual because we haven't had an opportunity to check in and so I figured we would take this episode and kind of check up I didn't get to check in. And so I figured we would take this episode and kind of check up. I didn't get to check in with you at the top of the year. I didn't get to talk about, you know, some of my resolutions, some of the things that I'm working towards, nor did I have an opportunity to cast vision for what I believe God is telling
Starting point is 00:09:37 me about my own spiritual growth and development and how I believe it could be helpful to those who are connected to while many evolve. So we're going to take this time and check in. I will say that I started off the top of the year and the year didn't top properly, you know what I mean? Like it just, it didn't transition the way that I thought it would.
Starting point is 00:09:59 We did the holidays, I was so busy during the holidays. I just didn't get that hard reset that I am used to getting. And so I hit so busy during the holidays, I just didn't get that hard reset that I am used to getting. And so I hit the top of the year doing a 45 day challenge with my friends in which we noticed I said 45, not 75, because we were not ready to do 75 hard. But we worked out every day for an hour and a half, we chose a diet, we stuck to it. My goal was just to build muscle.
Starting point is 00:10:22 I started running, I've lost a lot of weight. And so I wasn't necessarily trying to lose weight, but I do just to build muscle. I started running. I've lost a lot of weight. I wasn't necessarily trying to lose weight, but I do want to build muscle. I want to make sure that as much as I can have curvy muscle body, that I would like to be in that slim fit category. I did a lot of lifting, trying to do body recomposition, whatever. That drained me. The 45-day challenge drained me, but the 45 day challenge probably would not have drained me as much as if I weren't in school. So doing that challenge, doing school, and here's the real kicker. We got a dog. Now if you know anything about me, you got to know something. I'm not a dog
Starting point is 00:11:00 person. I don't do the dog thing. We've tried the dog thing in the past. The dog thing did not work for our family, but I still be boosting because there's a part a dog person. I don't do the dog thing. We've tried the dog thing in the past. The dog thing did not work for our family. But I still be boosting because there's a part of me that's like, I want to love a dog one day. And so whenever like our kids class would send out a text message like, Hey, this dog is looking for a family. I screenshot it, send it to my husband, just gotta be like, we should do it. We should do it. Was I being honest? No, I was just talking gaslighting, if you will, but you can't gaslight a gas lighter because my husband surprised us with a puppy for Christmas. And I was like, okay, you know what, if we're
Starting point is 00:11:33 going to do the dog thing, if we're going to try again, we cannot fail. Like this is our last shot at proving whether or not we can be a dog family. So I started researching the best way to integrate a puppy into a new environment, the best way to set a schedule, the best way to house break them. I was doing all of the things and a puppy came the beginning of January. We were waking up with him every couple of hours. I was tired during the 45 day challenge and schoolwork. It was much at the beginning of the year. I Found a schedule for
Starting point is 00:12:10 The dog to help the dog sleep through the night to learn how to hold it and sleep through the night And I cannot tell you how the goodness of God has just followed me all the days of my life Because that first night that the puppy slept through the night I said if you want to live here, just say that. Because the only thing keeping you from having permanent residency in my house would be you not allowing me to sleep and secondary, you messing up my stuff.
Starting point is 00:12:36 To my surprise, this little booger wants to live here. His name is Cabo. And I'm obsessed. It's really unfortunate because I'm the kind of person that once I decide I don't like something, I don't change my mind about it. If I say that I'm off you, I'm never on you again. I just, I'm not able to go back.
Starting point is 00:12:57 And I said, I'm off canines. They're not my thing. Do I want to gaslight and play a little bit? Sure. Do I actually want to do the work? Absolutely not. Here I am. I struggle to say that I love the dog, but I do strong. He's in my office in the moment. I said that he looked up like he speak English. I like him. I like him a lot. I mean, he's in my office while I'm recording this podcast. I don't
Starting point is 00:13:20 want him to know that I like him and I don't want the people who I live with to know that I like him because they think that I'm getting soft over a puppy. I didn't want him to know that I like him. And I don't want the people who I live with to know that I like him because they think that I'm getting soft over a puppy. And I didn't go through what I went through to be soft over a puppy. I think he's adorable. I think he's very fluffy. I think he's very cute.
Starting point is 00:13:34 He's been very obedient, you know? But do I love him? Love is a strong word. So you guys follow me as I follow Christ and as I follow puppy life and we'll just see where I land. Maybe one day I will love him. One thing I will say is this is that I'm also on puppy talk.
Starting point is 00:13:54 Does that mean that I enjoy looking at future versions of how big he's going to be and learning new things about him? Yeah. Doesn't mean I love him. Not necessarily. Do I look at people's posts differently when they talk about something's happened to their dog or they've had to put their dog down? Do my eyes well up like, oh my gosh, I can't imagine a world in which I'd have to put our
Starting point is 00:14:13 puppy down or that I would have to give our puppy away. Yeah. Yeah. Do I well up a little bit? Sure. Do I like the dog? No. You understand what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:14:23 So I need you all to keep the same energy for me. When I post the dog, just remember that I'm posting the dog not what I'm saying. So I need you all to keep keep the same energy for me when I post the dog Just remember that I'm posting the dog not because I like them I'm posting the dog because that's that's what Jesus would do if you will. So that's a revelation that I book not him And definitely gave somebody hurt me talking crazy about them. So, okay, whatever. I like the dog That's been my number one. I think that has been my number one surprise of 2025 so far is that I am a fur mom and I like it.
Starting point is 00:14:52 The next surprise for me is that I really want to run. You guys know if you have been listening that I downloaded the Run app and I have been just blown away at my lung capacity, at my heart capacity. I indeed could run longer than one minute. I just needed to practice. I'm at a stage in my Run app where I graduated from one phase. I've moved on to the next where you run for 22 minutes, take a minute off, and then run for 22 minutes again. I'm ready to go into the Olympics. I'm ready to move into the next phase of my destiny. I preached, I wrote, I blogged, you know, I've podcasted. Now is my time to get them rings.
Starting point is 00:15:35 Am I going very fast? Could you please mind your business? That is not the point. The point is that I am a runner and I love, I love running. I love dogs and I love running. I don't know what's happening. Is this reparations? I don't understand it, but this is my life right now and I am just learning to embrace it and accept it. That's what's been going on on the personal side. Kids are good, husband's good, family's good. I've been on tour with WOM and EVOLVE. I'm actually recording this right
Starting point is 00:16:05 before I head out to Raleigh and Fort Lauderdale where we will have the conclusion of the tour. The tour has been called In Real Life and it's been really just an amazing opportunity to understand what people are up against in real life right now. What's happening in their cities, what's happening in their world, life right now, what's happening in their cities, what's happening in their world, but most importantly, what's happening in their spiritual lives. And I feel like we've put together an experience
Starting point is 00:16:34 that creates space for transparency, joy, vulnerability, but ultimately encounter with the Holy Spirit. And that has been really fun to be a part of. We started in Detroit and I've grown since doing the tour. I've grown spiritually. We're on another fast. My husband called a fast at the top of the year. He recently called another fast and the tour really coincided at the same time
Starting point is 00:17:06 as me really doing some deeper spiritual development, emotional development, and I'll share that with you all a little bit later, but I can see the way that the tour has grown me up in real life. And the goal of the tour was really to help people to understand that in order for us to navigate what's happening in our world and by world I mean globally, right?
Starting point is 00:17:32 There's a transition taking place with AI, technology, politics, division. There's a transition taking place. It's hard to say where we're headed. Is it going to be good? Is it going to be where we're headed. Is it gonna be good? Is it gonna be bad? Sometimes it feels like it could be bad. Sometimes possibly it seems like humanity's gonna galvanize and things could be better, but it's hard to say.
Starting point is 00:17:55 And that can be very scary. But then there are other things happening in our lives, transitions taking place that we're trying to give language to. And it's been very powerful to experience God and the areas of our inadequacy together. And the tour has made me, how is the tour? I want to give language to that. The tour has made me more sensitive to the voice of God, more affirmed of my role in God's plan.
Starting point is 00:18:27 And it has revealed areas where God wants to offer me more security in my anointing and identity. And that's been a beautiful journey. So tour has been amazing. We've had some, if you've ever been to a Women Evolve event, we try to create an environment where people aren't just leaning into what's happening on the platform, but that they're also connecting with one another and that we're connecting with them. And so there's a point in the event where I take the time to ask them questions about
Starting point is 00:18:59 what's happening. We've had some very funny answers. We've had some very funny moments. I learned how to order a Philly cheesesteak in Philly and exactly where to go. I got to go to the poppy store at a Yoc in Chesapeake, which is like noodles, ketchup, soy sauce, onions, chicken, boiled eggs. It's a whole thing. And let me see, where, oh, Nashville. Oh, we talked about hot chicken and the food. Is there a theme here?
Starting point is 00:19:30 Wow. You can tell what's in a person's heart by what's coming out of their mouth because while I'm only talking about food. And Detroit, what did, oh my goodness, and I feel like the Detroit girls really want to, what did I ask them about Detroit? Oh, at that time, we weren't as food specific. So I was asking what's really Detroit? Anyways, it was an incredible time.
Starting point is 00:19:56 I have a message about Mary Magdalene at the tomb that has been blessing me. I made sure some tidbits about... We've got Hey You coming up and I'm like, should I preach this message at Hey You? Because it keeps evolving in each city. But if I don't preach it at Hey You, I'll maybe do a solo episode and share with you all some of the lessons I learned while preaching that message.
Starting point is 00:20:17 So that's my catch up and I will, I will share a little bit more about the spiritual development and what God's been showing me about my heart posture and areas of growth a little bit later. But I want to talk to you about the theme of Whom and Evolve for the year. The theme of Whom and Evolve is something that God really placed on my heart a few years ago that I needed to be intentional about casting vision for our content, our messages, our connection with women each year that we aren't just like
Starting point is 00:20:52 being random. I mean, we want to give the Holy Spirit room to do whatever the Holy Spirit's going to do, but I seek the Lord and ask the Lord, like, what is it that you want us to focus on as we seek to really serve what you're doing in the lives of other women? And when I asked God this question, I was left with the word freedom. And I think it's kind of too edged in a way,
Starting point is 00:21:15 and that I think that we need to have the freedom to get downloads on the spot, the freedom to pivot on the spot, that we're not going to be locked into one specific theme. We had hope as a theme, we had revolution as a theme, but this year I really feel like God is really allowing us to have the freedom to listen, to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and to give as the Lord is giving to us. And so our theme is freedom, but we don't have restrictions with freedom.
Starting point is 00:21:44 So we're leaning in each quarter, each month, each day, depending on what it is we are creating to really give language and relatability and context to what it means to experience freedom. So I am wondering, as we talk about living free, walking free, and thinking free, what comes to your mind? Where do you feel restriction and why do you feel restriction? Are you battling fear? Is it resources, anxiety? What's keeping you from being free?
Starting point is 00:22:21 When I think about my own life, there were some things that were happening in my heart, some experiences that I didn't realize had impacted me that were keeping me from being free. And oftentimes life is moving at such a rapid pace that we don't even realize we're restricted. I can remember being a kid and playing with a rope and one person would hold one end of the rope, I would hold the other end of the rope, and then I would begin spiraling in a circle. That wrap would begin wrapping around my body.
Starting point is 00:23:00 The first time it wrapped, it wasn't so bad. The second time it wrapped, okay, I was a little bit more restricted. But little by little, the more that I turned, eventually I was completely restricted. And I believe that this is what happens to us when we are on autopilot in our lives, having unprocessed experiences. When we're having, I want to make up a word, I want to say unencountered experiences. And I say unencountered because we're not bringing our experiences into our relationship with God in a way that challenges us to be more like Jesus, to invite the Holy Spirit,
Starting point is 00:23:40 to give us wisdom and discernment. And in those moments, we end up becoming more restricted without even realizing it. That was happening to me. And after a season of surrender, I believe that freedom is available to us because surrender is when we're holding on to something so tightly that we can't imagine losing the control, losing the security connected to whatever we're holding on to. But surrender, the ultimate sign of trust in God, should then bring us to a place of freedom
Starting point is 00:24:14 where we are able to say, like Paul said in Philippians, I can do all things through Christ. If freedom had a sound, what would it sound like to you? I hear laughter. I hear joy, which I'm going to just give you a sneak peek, I guess, of one of the things that I've been preaching while on the road. And I didn't do this in every city because like I said, the Lord has really just continued to unpack the text for me as I have gone from city to city.
Starting point is 00:24:44 But I have been preaching from Matthew 28. And in Matthew 28, Mary Magdalene is at the tomb. And when she's at the tomb, the angel of the Lord meets her there. The angel tells her, I know you're looking for Jesus. He's gone. Run, tell that. Tell the disciples that he's risen. And it says so they went out, she was there with a group of women. And it says, so they went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great
Starting point is 00:25:11 joy and ran to bring his disciples word. And one of the things that the Lord has highlighted for me about this text is the angel tells her early on in verse five, do not be afraid. But then in verse eight, it says, so she went out quickly from the tomb with fear and great joy. And I believe that Mary mastered the art of having fear, but not being afraid. And oftentimes we have fear, but we allow our fear to keep us from moving in the direction of obedience and what God has for us, when sometimes what we need to do
Starting point is 00:25:44 is pocket that fear, strap it into the passenger seat and say, I'm still moving in the direction of my destiny. And we've heard that before, right? That's not necessarily a revolutionary revelation, but there was this aspect of her going out from the tomb with fear and great joy. And if you're like me, it's a little bit easier to move with fear than it is to move with great joy. So when we talk about freedom having a sound and that sound being laughter, it doesn't
Starting point is 00:26:16 mean that we don't have fear. Maybe we do have fear, but maybe we've also done the work of finding the great joy connected with that freedom. And so I am wondering as we dig deeper into what it means to have freedom, as we dig deeper into what it means to move with obedience, if freedom has a sound for you, does that sound like you're shaking in your boots? Does it sound like crying and screaming and yelling because you're losing control? Or have you found a way to make freedom sound like joy?
Starting point is 00:26:54 Now because you don't have all of those other things, but because you found the joy in your yes. And that is what God has been challenging me on. I have said yes to some things that are scary, that are bigger than me, and I have mastered the art of doing things afraid. But I want to do things with joy and not just with fear. And doing things with joy means
Starting point is 00:27:19 the joy of the Lord is my strength, is a scripture we quote often. Notice it doesn't say that the joy of the Lord is my joy, although there are scriptures that talk about us having that joy. But sometimes the strength, my strength is in the fact that my obedience is bringing heaven joy. And if my obedience is bringing heaven joy,
Starting point is 00:27:40 then maybe I can find the joy in heaven's joy and not necessarily making my joy contingent on my circumstances, contingent on my emotional state or neutralizing my joy with fear. What's your answer? If freedom has a sound, what does it sound like? I'll take a minute and dig into this a little bit more, but you know how it is. I have been out of the office and anytime you're out of the office, you can anticipate that
Starting point is 00:28:11 there is going to be a full inbox and that is exactly what we have for the Mind Your Business box. We've got so many messages from you all just asking for perspective on things that are happening in your world. And so let's kick off our 2025 first episode with me minding somebody's business. Once again, if you want me to mind your business, I want you to give me a phone call. You can reach me at 214-790-7871.
Starting point is 00:28:42 Now let's listen to this week's question. Now let's listen to this week's question. Hi Sarah, my name is Deja. I attended the Parties House a few years ago with my family. Since then I've moved to Kansas City. I've had a child at 19. I'm reaching out because I just needed help on knowing where to go from here. Like I mentioned before, I currently reside in Kansas City. I am currently here alone, meaning I don't have any family that lives here with me. They are out south. Recently I've had a major change in my life.
Starting point is 00:29:30 My mother's figure, my grandmother, has exactly a year from the 1st of February. It seems like it has become a waste of feeling after a year and I'm pretty afraid of the future and what's to come. However, I know that I must be able to continue to live on. The question is how do I do that being that she was the person that I confided in about everything She was the main reason why I do pursue a relationship with the Lord to this day Mainly just how do I keep going? Just a little bit more information me and my mom aren't the closest and I'm not close with most of my family. Please help. If there's not enough context, I
Starting point is 00:30:35 understand that's just where I currently am right now. Thank you for everything that you do. Your complete transparency of your life's journey. It's very appreciated for women like me. Anyway, thank you. Have a great day. I really never take it for granted that you all trust me with such vulnerable moments in your life. I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I lost my grandmothers at an early age and have not had the privilege of experiencing a grandmother as I have become a woman. But often on the outside looking in,
Starting point is 00:31:22 see women who've had that opportunity and how much it shapes them and holds them down and offers them wisdom and a soft place to land. And I can't imagine what it's like to no longer have that safety and comfort in your life. I'll definitely be praying for you as you figure out what a new normal is. One of the things that you mentioned, and initially when I heard this question, I felt a little intimidated because grief is so nuanced,
Starting point is 00:31:51 so complicated and so vulnerable that I never want to say anything that would not be delicate with such an intimate part of your heart. But you said something that I believe may add some wisdom to this process that you're going through about navigating grief. And the first thing I want to say is this, is in the years that you got to spend with your grandmother, unless there was just some miraculous covering.
Starting point is 00:32:25 I'm sure that she had to experience grief, that maybe she had to say goodbye to someone who meant something to her. And I am wondering what you gleaned or if you gleaned anything from her in those moments. How did she handle it? Maybe her heart was broken for some time. Maybe she found a way to ultimately discover peace in the presence of the Lord, even while she was experiencing grief. I think it's important that someone who was so critical in your life is also someone who can still serve your present even though they're
Starting point is 00:33:07 no longer here if we take the time to reflect on the way their life was a lesson. And sometimes their life was a lesson that we didn't even know that they would need until that person is gone. And so I'm wondering, are there any lessons about loss that you picked up from your grandmother that can serve where you are now? Did she have to keep going in the face of that grief? Did she live again, cook again, laugh again after that grief?
Starting point is 00:33:34 Because I believe that that same strength, that same sensitivity, that same ability to move with an ache is something that is available to you as well. And literally could quite possibly be in your DNA to find a way to live again after having to say a difficult goodbye. And so I would challenge you to the extent that that is appropriate to take a moment to reflect on the ways that your grandmother taught you how to live after loss. The thing that I will say that I think is even more important than what I shared before is that it sounds like your grandmother was critical in your own development and your walk with the Lord, that she was like many grandmothers have been for many people, somewhat
Starting point is 00:34:32 of a guiding light. What I will say is this, is there comes a moment where we meet God through people, and then there's a moment where we meet the God of the person. And while it could be very easy to feel like I lost the bridge to God or the translator or interpreter that helped me cultivate my own relationship with God, I want you to know that what you received was God. And though that bridge may be gone, that bridge does not mean that you are without access. It just means that there's nothing standing in between you and direct access now.
Starting point is 00:35:11 And I don't mean standing between us if she was a barricade, but you're next in line. If there was a sequence, if we were all standing, if God was at the front of the line and your grandmother was in front of you. And we were playing the game telephone and God whispered something to your grandmother and then she whispered it to you. And if you had a question for God, she would help you. If she's no longer there, it doesn't mean that you don't have that access. It means you take one step closer and you begin to discover the God of your grandmother. It sounds like your grandmother was a woman of faith,
Starting point is 00:35:48 so strong in her faith that she was able to be spiritual muscle and spiritual coaching for you. And now I believe it's your opportunity to become to someone else what she was for you, which means that you're in training. Maybe you can't step fully into that, and I certainly wouldn't want you to experience that pressure.
Starting point is 00:36:09 But maybe now that's the goal, is that whatever your grandmother was for you as it related to being in relationship with God, you get to be that for your children, for your children's children. And so you got to start practicing now. How do you practice? Is not being holier than thou.
Starting point is 00:36:26 I don't want to put any pressure on you to be what some would call a Bible thumper if that's not what comes naturally to you. But even this grief, the Bible tells us that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted to say, God, my heart is breaking over this. And to recognize that God's heart is breaking a bit too, rejoicing because she's in heaven and with him, but breaking because death was never a part of his plan for humanity. And he recognizes now that in order for there to be joy and goodness, that there's also pain and devastation. And this is the cocktail he was trying to get us to not experience, but now this is
Starting point is 00:37:10 our reality. And so because we have free will, because this is the world we now live in, God says, I may not intervene on everything and I may not be able to stop some of the poison that now exists in the world, the poison that now exists in the world, the sin that now exists in the world, but what I can do is allow my presence to meet people no matter where they are. And the presence of God is waiting to embrace you,
Starting point is 00:37:35 to hold you, to comfort you, to offer you peace, to offer you love, both in His presence and also in the presence of others that will serve as a balm as you heal. I hope that's helpful. And if you need some recommendations for some books about just understanding the nature of Jesus, understanding the character of God, there are two books that I am constantly referring people to, and it's called Love Beyond Reason. And that's an exceptional way of understanding
Starting point is 00:38:07 the love of God. And then I have been reading Gentle and Lowly, which is a book about Jesus and just what it means to come to Jesus, be in relationship with Jesus, who we have to be, who we don't have to be, that has helped me a lot in my own development. So I hope that that helps you as you seek to being the praying grandmother that we're gonna need
Starting point is 00:38:28 in about 30, 40, 50 years. So get on your square sets, we need you. One of the reasons why I think freedom can be so intimidating is that we think freedom is loud. I believe the same misconception also exists as it relates to confidence. We think that confidence is bold and loud and owns the room. And sometimes that is confidence. But then there are moments where confidence is silent. Confidence just exists in the way
Starting point is 00:38:58 that we are sure of who we are on the inside, regardless of what's taking place outside of us or what's on us. I believe something very similar exists with freedom. Freedom is not always loud. As a matter of fact, if you ask some of my ancestors, some of them would say the only way that you could access freedom is if you were quiet. That when you were in captivity, when you've been oppressed, that you have to be quiet in order to pursue freedom. If freedom is not always loud and sometimes it's a quiet decision, what quiet decisions are available to you that will lead to freedom? Is it a boundary?
Starting point is 00:39:41 Is it a way of thinking? I told you earlier that I would share with you some ways that I am experiencing freedom in my own spiritual growth and development. And I use that analogy about being tied up in a rope. I did not realize until about, well, I knew I was upset. There's a situation in my life that was upsetting me. And maybe upset's a strong word. I'll start with annoyed. It was annoying me.
Starting point is 00:40:10 It was irritating me, which is a form of anger. Don't get me wrong. I understand it's a form of anger, but it started off as annoying and irritating. And then it didn't change. Then I was getting upset. Then I was getting angry. And I thought that that is about where I was keeping it.
Starting point is 00:40:24 And I was a little bit upset with that, I'ma be honest, cause like, Lord, get your people. Like it's one thing if they're not your people, but these people are telling me you're people. And these people who say they're your people don't look like your people. I need you to get your people. And so I was angry.
Starting point is 00:40:38 And then I think it took me about three weeks for me to realize like, girl, you're not just angry, you're bitter. Like you're getting very bitter. And I knew I was getting bitter because I felt like I needed to forgive that person. Like I'm always playing like, this is what I know. Like the Jesus version of me needs to do this. Come on Eve. The Mary version of me, this is a throwback metaphor. And if you haven't been listening for a long time, woman, oh my goodness, it's such a tangent, but I'm going to bring it back. Lord, help me remember. This is a throwback metaphor. And if you haven't been listening for a long time, woman, oh my goodness, it's such a tangent,
Starting point is 00:41:07 but I'm gonna bring it back. Lord, help me remember. Woman evolved started because Eve knew better, but didn't do better. But the Lord, God offered her an opportunity in Genesis 3, womanhood, humanity, and opportunity in Genesis 3, to ultimately go to war with the enemy. Like there's gonna be enmity between you and the woman. But when it's all said and done, God's gonna use the woman to give with the enemy, like there's going to be enmity between you and the woman.
Starting point is 00:41:25 But when it's all said and done, God's going to use the woman to give birth to Jesus who will ultimately put the enemy back in his place, right? And so we know that that was, or we know or maybe don't know, that that was a foreshadowing of Mary. So there in the garden when Eve has eaten from the fruit is Mary. Mary is the one who will carry divinity. And so when I think about the different versions of who I am, there's an Eve version who knows better, who didn't, but didn't do better. And then there's a Mary version who carries divinity, right? And so on
Starting point is 00:41:55 any given day, I'm any version of Eve or Mary, the Eve version of me talked to Mary and Mary said, you should forgive. And Eve said, I don't want to. That's how I knew I was bitter because how you not going to want to forgive. And Mary was like, but hasn't the Lord forgiving you? And Eve was like, what that got to do with me forgiving somebody? And then Mary was like, well, because if, if the Lord is forgiving you, you should be able to forgive others. And I was like, I'm not him. Okay. What a eye roll. And so that's when I knew I was bitter. And so I started just talking to the Lord about my bitterness.
Starting point is 00:42:29 I'm like, fine, you got me. I got a nasty attitude about this. And in my own prayer and devotion time, I went to Romans 12 and I was thinking that I was minding my business and just like being bitter, but also diving deeper with the Lord. I'm on a fast. I'm setting additional time to the side in order for me to be in the presence of the Lord.
Starting point is 00:42:52 I opened up Romans 2 the other day. Let me tell you about y'all's God. Romans 2 said, Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are, who judge. For in whatever you judge another, you condemn yourself. For you who judge, practice the same things another, you condemn yourself for you who judge practice the same things. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:43:09 I'm just reading my Bible to just be a good Christian. Don't let the Bible read me. You know what I'm saying? Like it says, oh, you, whoever judge, like the Lord just really clocked my T. And so I was like, you know what? I really do want to be spirit led. And I'm on this tour asking for the Holy Spirit, knowing that there's a blockage in my heart.
Starting point is 00:43:31 And I came to this place of forgiving because I did not want bitterness standing in the way of me being more like Jesus and me being filled with the spirit and me being a vessel that God can use. And I knew that I was hanging on to the bitterness because I didn't want to let someone off the hook, or it just felt good to be angry. It felt like this is the only punishment that they're going to get is my anger.
Starting point is 00:43:54 And so my anger should be used as a weapon. And yet I could not deny that, and using my unforgiveness as a weapon that I was robbing God from the ability to protect me, to show me his faithfulness. And so I made a quiet decision to be free. I made a quiet decision to allow myself to grow in the spirit, even if that meant dissolving in the flesh, to grow in the spirit, even if that meant allowing myself to release the bitterness and unforgiveness that was comforting me and making me feel like I still had some control over a situation that ultimately
Starting point is 00:44:42 was not in my control. And to really embrace humility and to trust that God can take care of other people better than I can. We use this sometimes when we're like, oh my gosh, I'm doing too much for people. But I want us to consider this notion of God can take care of people better than we can, even as it relates to us holding bitterness, holding people accountable with our anger, or just punishing people and being outside of our own integrity. I have a personal mission and my personal mission is to really live a life that is led by the Spirit of God.
Starting point is 00:45:20 That I would be love on earth, that I would be kindness on earth, that I would be gentle and lowly and forgiving, and that the character of God would show up in the way that I handle other people. And it's easy to do that with strangers. It's easy to do that with my children. It's easy to do that with my husband. It is not as easy to do that to people who I feel have wronged me. And so the Lord has been challenging me in that way. And that quiet decision, the moment that I made the decision, I felt lighter in my heart. The moment I made the decision, even the mention of that person's name or the exposure to the behavior that has frustrated me in the past didn't have the same impact
Starting point is 00:46:08 because the spirit really does give us strength to do things that we could not do in our own strength. And so that's been my quiet decision towards freedom, but I'm wondering what is yours? Freedom starts in the mind because oftentimes our restraints, our oppression, our restrictions start in the mind. And so I want you to have some mental agreements where you break the notion of whatever restriction, whatever fear, whatever oppression is trying to make you believe that you would break that so that you can step into a free season in your mind so that you can make some decisions from your spirit.
Starting point is 00:46:56 So for me, my sequence is my spirit sets the tone. In Romans 12, when it talks about not being transformed, not being conformed to this world, but being transformed by the renewing of your mind, he's talking to a church that has made a spiritual decision. And based off of that spiritual decision, you then have to get your mind into alignment with that decision, and that's going to take transformation. You're going to have to bring some thoughts into captivity and into the knowledge and obedience of who Jesus is.
Starting point is 00:47:24 And in the process of doing that, your mind begins to be transformed. And so there are some agreements, maybe in the spirit you want to be free, maybe in the spirit you're pursuing God, but there are some decisions you need to make in your mind. And those decisions can only come once you know your target, once you break those mental agreements. Who told you you weren't enough? Who told you that you had to earn your worth, who told you that you were stuck. Those things are things that you are going to have to break mental agreements with and
Starting point is 00:47:53 choose to believe what the Lord says about you to choose to believe that maybe I'm not enough but with God inside of me, greater is he that is in me. Maybe you're right, devil. I am not enough but where I lacked his strength is he that is in me. Maybe you're right, devil. I am not enough, but where I lacked his strength is made perfect in my weakness." There's a scripture in Philippians four and eight and it says, and now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing, fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of
Starting point is 00:48:25 praise. I want you to break some mental agreements that you have in your mind and to fix your mind on things that are true. How do we know that they're true? Because they are things that heaven would smile. When you're thinking a thought, is heaven smiling or is heaven like child? That's the devil. You need to transform that. That's a little. You need to transform that. That's a little conformity going on in that mind. It's a journey. It's a process.
Starting point is 00:48:49 God's always going to highlight ways that our mind can be transformed. It's our job to lean into those moments. Freedom requires walking away from what no longer fits. When we walk away from what no longer fits, and that may be from a relationship to a pair of jeans, child, When we walk away from what no longer fits and that may be from a relationship to a pair of jeans, child, when we walk away from it we experience freedom. I don't know if you have ever had a pair of jeans that you kept squozing yourself into. Been there and done that. Squoze, squoze, squoze. I didn't
Starting point is 00:49:20 want to buy no clothes. I'm going to lose weight and I kept squozing myself in them clothes. And then one day you say, you know what? First of all, you end up wearing leggings all the time because you want to be free or you end up wearing sweats all the time because you want to be free. But then one day you buy them slacks, you buy them jeans that are actually in the size that you need. And baby girl, this is what freedom feels like. The same can be applicable in the way that we allow people to treat us, the way that we speak to other people, the way that we allow ourselves to be handled, the choices that we make.
Starting point is 00:49:53 When we walk away from what no longer fits us, we experience freedom. Galatians 5 and 1 says this, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. He didn't set us free to be bound. He set us free to be free. Stand firm then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. You don't have to be tied to things. You need to be yoked up to what Jesus says about you, yoked up to what God is doing in the earth.
Starting point is 00:50:23 That is true freedom. Freedom is not in money, it's not in fame, it's not in love, it's not in friendship. Those are beautiful. But freedom is in us pursuing the life that God has for us to know that all of heaven's resources are backing us up. So I have a challenge for you this week. I want you to journal, pray, reflect on what freedom looks like. And then I want you to consider one mindset, one habit or one relationship that is keeping
Starting point is 00:50:54 you bound and just take one step towards freedom, a silent decision, maybe a loud one if you bad, but whatever it is, just know that freedom is your inheritance. I'm so excited that we're back with the podcast. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for investing your time into this podcast. I want your feedback. It's been a while since I've done a solo episode like this, and I want to know, do you enjoy
Starting point is 00:51:20 it? I am really growing spiritually, and I'm growing in the way that I see the Word and I think hopefully translate the Word. And I would love to bring you along on the journey. So maybe we have a few more like this. Also I want to let you know we have some things that we're working on as it relates to WOMEN EVOLVE 25. I'm still not convinced we'll be able to get everyone who wants to be in the room, in the room.
Starting point is 00:51:48 But I believe that there's an opportunity for us to experience what happens at WOMEN EVOLVE 25 together. Girl Evolve is open. Enrollment is open. If you have a girl in your life who you want to be a part of the WOMEN EVOLVE experience, one of the things that I learned in doing this ministry is that almost all of the things that broke our mindsets, that made us have a disconnect with the Lord happened when we were younger. And so our goal is to have an intervention before the enemy can even get his plan started and Girlie Bob is our response to that. have an intervention before the enemy can even get his plan started.
Starting point is 00:52:25 And girly bob is our response to that. So it's during the summer. If you know a girl, plug her in. I would love to experience Jesus with you. I love you. Oh, let's pray Lord Jesus. We can't imagine what freedom truly looks like without including your perspective in our lives. Otherwise, we will be praying for a limited version of freedom.
Starting point is 00:52:53 And yet, because we recognize that you hold all power, all knowledge, all wisdom in your hands, we want a reflection and definition of freedom that looks like what you know. God, as we walk this thing called life out, I pray that you would continue to expand our minds, that you would break the limits off of what we call free, that we would receive your definition and that we would receive it with joy. Thank you for this opportunity to connect with my sisters. God help me to be a good steward of the influence you have given me, a good steward over what you're doing
Starting point is 00:53:33 in their lives because I know how much you love them. I know how serious you are about them. And I just want to water the seeds that are inside of them. Thank you God for another year of the Woman Evolve podcast. What a blessing it is that I get to do this. In Jesus' name, amen. I'll see you next week. Evolve.

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