Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Legacy of Authenticity w/ Stephanie Ike

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Would you consider yourself an emotional person? ‘Cause this week Pastor Stephanie Ike has us all journeying towards vulnerability. Yep, W.E. are going there—but in a candid, yet comical kind of way! SJR and Stepanie discuss childhood memories, cultivating trusted spaces, looking back on God’s providence, and so much MORE! Sis, in life you must learn to coach yourself through tough moments instead of shutting down. That way, when you look back over the years, they’ll be a reflection of who God called you to be. Sponsor Alert: Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @LumeDeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code EVOLVE at LumeDeodorant.com/evolve! #LumePod. Tell ‘em W.E. sent you!

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody like that. You don't need no itch, it's a two-year-old boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Chai. Pastor Stephanie. Hi, First Lady. Welcome to the PJ interviews. So glad to be here. Good to see you. Please do. This is our first time doing this.

I know, excited. I am too. Okay, so like, this is just as time doing this. I know, I'm excited. I am too. Okay, so this is just as having Girl Talk catching up and understanding what you're learning about yourself and life and your journey to womanhood. So it's going to be super, super easy. Nice, nice, no tears. No tears, no. No, do you consider yourself like an emotional person?

You know, it's 50-50. I'm not really. Really? Like, but I am in my private place. You know, like when I'm by myself, I cry a lot. Really? In public, it's like, so-called stabastic. So, P.T. was telling me yesterday, or is a couple days ago, I was kind of stressed

out. And he was like, maybe you need to just cry. And I was like, I mean, probably. He was like, to just cry. And I was like, well, it doesn't really work like that for me. Because you want me to take you to a movie that makes you cry. I don't do you just like, how do you just start crying in your private place? It's, I think for me, it's like in like moments of like the

vocational time with God and in worship. Then I think that's when I actually faced certain emotions. So maybe I don't know, maybe I just like, like, masquer that run away from it, I don't know what it is. But I think every time I'm in my prayer closet, like that's when it's just floodgates. Have you felt like as a child,

you were allowed to be emotional? Oh no, I mean, it wasn't that I wasn't allowed, but I took on the responsibility that I should have. Really? I was wearing a war. Yeah, because I was the youngest and growing up, I knew I saw the pressure on my mom, you know, with the desire to want to be like a great mom. And you don't see that many single parents in Nigeria.

And so I felt like if I was always okay, then she would know she's doing great. And so I remember till today, if my mom sees me cry, she thinks that somebody died. Or like, you know, it was just some tragedy. But as a kid, the first time I cried, I filmed myself. It was just so weird. And I was like, oh, this is what it looks like. It's so weird. But I just never like, I always try to be like the person that, oh, this is what it looks like. It's so weird. But what? But I just never, like I always try to be like the person that, okay, if Stephanie is okay and she's the youngest and everyone else should be fine.

But I think for a long time, it took me a while to actually like face my emotions. So you kind of like took on that responsibility and trying to make sure that your mom was okay. But that didn't just come out of nowhere. Can you tell me a little bit more about like how you came to a place where your mom and making sure that she was doing well became your priority? Like what was it that she went through that made you feel like I need to lighten the

load on her? Yeah. She like she told this day my mom is just someone who would do anything for her children and just like absolutely anything and I think the day that it really hit me accidentally found a whale she wrote and I was really confused because I'm like how old was she when she wrote this and I had a conversation with her and she told me that I right after my dad passed that she was really scared for her like for her life That the same people that killed him, which was you know my dad's family, but they were okay, it was a lot

You just gave us a lot there. So your dad was killed By his family and your mom ended fearing for her life. Yes, my dad's cousin planned his assassination and because they wanted, my dad didn't have a will and because they wanted to take everything away because he was, I mean, he was pretty wealthy and so they were like, oh, we wanna take the house, we wanna take everything. And so his brother started threatening my mom and sent her

death threats that, you know, if she doesn't turn everything over to them, that he's going to also, that he's going to go after her and basically kill her. Like it was just very plain. And so she, like, beefed up security, but she let them have a lot of things. And she's just like, I just want my kids to be safe. Like I'm not trying to deal with all of this. But she was really scared for her life. And so she wrote a will that if anything happened to her, then her sister should take care of her kids. And so when I ran into that, that was, like it really took me out for a second.

I'm like, what was your mindset to write a will and to, like it was just really weird for me. And then when she told me about the whole story and at the time my uncle actually sent assassins to the house. And but apparently when the assassins showed up, he came with them. And then he leaves the car and tries to go to the other side but someone recognized him and said, oh,

are you going to my mom's house basically? And because of like, he freaked out that they would identify that he was connected to them, then told the assassins to leave. And my mom found out the whole thing. And it was just like, I just saw the pressure of the pressure on her. Like, okay, if I'm alive, like, I need to give my kids everything. But at the same time, I don't know how long I might be here. So I was like, you know what, I want her to always feel that her, like, I, like even if I have to sacrifice like my opinions or how I feel about certain things as long as that would make her feel like, no, mom, you're doing amazing.

That was good for me. So at what point did you realize that you may not necessarily be living authentic to who you are, but rather trying to put on this role or person it and make things easier for those around you? It took me a couple of years. I think it was when I left Nigeria and in college, probably a couple of years even in college. So maybe when I was like about 18, and then I'm by myself and I actually have time to not start realizing who I really am and what makes me happier, what makes me sad

and being able to express that. Because I was very aware of just like sometimes my emotional state, but not trusting who I could share that with. And I think that was my thing. Because even with friends, I was not a very vulnerable person and people were always asked like how you should open up more and I'm like I'm alright. I'm fine. I'm fine. But I just didn't know what was a trusted space. And I think that when I studied having people around me that I knew that I could trust and say how I actually

felt in moments, I think that gave me a lot of healing. Look, unfreed me a bit. One's the last time you made a decision to be vulnerable and open up even if you were doing so outside of your comfort zone. Um, the last, you know, now I don't know if I can trace it because you've helped me with that too a lot. I think even with preaching and watching you and PT, I really just came to a place and I'm like, what am I hiding anymore? Like what is there to hide? Like why do I need to hide stories?

Or why do I need to hide pain or anything like that? And I think watching you and seeing how vulnerable you are and the power and that it really gave me a lot of strength to say, you know what? Like it doesn't matter. So I don't know if I can trace the last time, but I just know like now that's my lifestyle, like just to be open and whatever comes with it,

you know, comes, but. But what comes with it? I mean tears that I don't like. But. So have you like ever opened up to someone and shared your vulnerability and received a response that made you want to close back down again? Oh, yeah.

Like how do you stay open even when you don't get the response that you think your vulnerability will receive? Yeah. I'm trying to remember what the scenario was. I think it was something maybe with my brother or something. And it was this huge disagreement. And it's weird because I can catch it better now. But I noticed in moments where if I feel like why I just

opened my heart and it was shut down immediately, it's almost like, you know how these guys were just playboys and they're like, oh, you broke my heart. I am never loving again. I've heard of them. Yeah, I'm like that almost, I'm not like now, but I used to be like that with just how I express myself. So the moment someone just like,

just, I don't know, takes me off the wrong way. I'm like, you know what, that's the last time. I'm gonna have a conversation with you. And then what, so they're okay, so you could stay there but there's a step that comes after that. What is that step? So I think it's like in that moment I'm in my feelings that's really what it is and I think after that it's really just coming face-to-face with the fact that you know this person is not you and they're whatever they've been through in

life or whatnot they're how they perceive things does not have to be how you perceive things. And given myself the grace I give other people, because I like I give people so much grace, but when it comes to me, I'm like, oh Stephanie should have said that, she would have shared that, but also giving myself the grace that you know what that's okay. Like we don't have to see things the same way.

And you don't have to receive it, the way I would receive it. And so that I think was a huge part of that. And so now you can be open, but you are able to coach yourself through those moments where you wanna shut down. Yeah. That's amazing.

So one of the things that we've talked about is like being open to all different types of things. No. Wait, Brett. What? First of all, God wants you to be delivered from God and join bread being stuck to the roof of your mouth. Oh yeah, no, no. So like before we started shooting, we had a conversation about the power of sandwiches.

Sandwiches are powerful, but they are most powerful when the bread is fresh and the bread sticks to the roof of your mouth. Yeah, that's going be a divided, no. No, God wants to bring healing to that division. I don't know if you know, even Jesus, you know, when they were breaking bread, why I'm sure those bad breads are still. I'm sure Jesus was like, wow, it's a hot day.

That's why we're gonna break bread. So it's not wet, you know. Okay, see you're not open to it, right? I see. But you've had to be open to a lot of things. Because I've seen your life like completely transform in a short period of time. Does it feel like it happened suddenly for you?

Does it feel like it was a gradual progress to evolving? I say both in a way, because on one hand, there are things that you don't realize until you look up and you're like, oh my gosh, and so in those aspects, it feels suddenly. But then when you sit in it, you're like, wow, this has really been a journey. This has, like, the moments that I get to reflect from Nigeria, from, you know, holding onto certain things that God would speak to me about coming out here, feeling confused, feeling lost,

making decisions that I had no clue what it was gonna, you know, amount to. And so in those moments, I'm like, wow, this has really been a journey. But the, like, the times where you're standing in something that you have believed, you believe for a while back here, oh my god, just happen. So in a way, it's like 50, 50 is like a mixture of both.

When, okay, one's the last time you were standing in something that you can believe. You know, I, it was actually a day I sent you a text. I sent you a PTA text message. And I was like, I was just, I was in prayer and I got this text and it was some stuff that we're working on with the same room and it had to do with like season two and it just hit me and I'm like, God, like there's a lot like You've really pulled me through a lot like you brought me to a point where Like when I just look back and like wow like this is crazy and then I text you and be like,

I think that was really having a moment. I was really emotional. And I was just like, you know, thank you, because thank you for seeing me, thank you for, even when I didn't, like I didn't fully see myself, you know, I had glimpses of who I believe that I am, but I think that it really takes people to help you cultivate that.

Todd Delaney has a song and it's called Pulling Me Through and he says, like, it was you. It was you pulling me through and it's almost like he gets this revelation after looking back over his life that God was the one who was pulling him through everything. But the reality is, in the moment,

you don't realize that it's God. You're just trying to survive, and then you look back and you're like, wait, there's probably no way I should have survived. And like, how did I even have the mentality to reach out to this person or to keep showing up? Like, what was that that was working down on the inside of me?

And then you come to this realization, like, it was God this entire time. Isn't it funny that we look back on our life and see God? Like how can we become more intentional about seeing Kim now instead of in hindsight? You know like I'll even use this example just before answering that. So a family a family friend of mine was going through she, I think she was behind in her car note, and just going through all this stuff in her life. So she was telling me the story,

and she was like, hey, could you pray for me? Like, I need to pay my car note. So I asked her how much is it, as well as she told me the amount, and my head was like, oh, I have that. And I was like, hey, so I told her the next day, I was like, text her, I was like, hey, I will give it to next day, I was like, text, I was like, how will give it to you so you can, like, you don't have to stress about it.

And in that moment, I was like, God, this is like, it was crazy for me because I thought about, you know, the times where God is like, oh, I want you to stay here. Like, this is the place I've called you to and my family thinks everything is crazy and I'm taking a bus to church. And, you know, the times where I couldn't afford even to take the bus to church and then to help

pay someone's car note. So it was I think so to tie that together I think our we are more intentional to see God when we see the things that we can do for people and to see the things like how anytime that God can use us to be a blessing to someone and it doesn't always have to deal with how we give, it could be our ability to say a kind word. And we can think about the times that we needed a kind word that we were dealing with depression or anxiety and then we're in a moment where we can encourage someone verbally or financially or spiritually or whatever the case might be. But I think that every time that we recognize that the breath in me, I can use that to be a blessing to someone, I see God in those moments. So for me, it's just like, you know,

thinking about just the journey of that, I realize, like, God, you've really pulled me through a lot and you've been with me this whole time. And so it just goes back that any time that I could be a blessing to someone, I see God in those moments. So we're ultimately talking about becoming the hands and feet of God because so often we're looking for where God is in our life and not asking ourselves, well how can I show up and be an extension

of God and someone else's life and then you start to see how He works things out on your bath. I've seen you do that not just in the lives of people every day, but in the work that you're doing with the same room and how you're invading the culture. How do you maintain your values and morals and what's important to you in a world that has so many different things that could dilute that power and dilute your heart? Honestly, I think it's because that's really the foundation of my life. For me, my relationship with God is really my life. I remember there were times where I used to ask myself, and I'm like, God, you know, if you want me to just live for you and not get married and not have children, which is crazy. I would do that, but it's really like my like I like it's just you know it like I encountered going I was nine and so he has been like the reality of my life for so long and so in anything I do I don't I don't see it as a struggle to like okay I don't want to be you know

like let me how do I dilute this maybe to to please other people. For me, it's always about like, what is the, like, how do I rephrase that question? Like, in the sense of, you know, it's not like me trying to like, dim my light or dim the word of God, but how do I connect with this person better? Yeah. Because I think sometimes when it comes into that space, you have people that can be harsh with their Christianity,

believing that, you know, we don't want to dumb down for the Lord and whatnot. But then it's about seeing people as they are, where they are, and how do I have a conversation that can engage you where you are? But in regards to like for my personal life, God is the foundation of my life. Okay, so I haven't always been that way. So it's not like at nine, I had this encounter. And I was like, you know what I got from nine years old. I just, oh, you are

it for me. I was like, you can be a part of what I'm doing in the earth. And then we'll get to what she wants. I've had those moments. Yeah, because I was going to ask you. No, I've had those because this is how it is. like I tell someone right I knew I knew The Lord as my father before I knew him as my savior Say more. So I like my encounter with him was like, oh my gosh like you're my dad You know, you're my dad. We're gonna do this thing called life together and so and the reason I said what I said before is that There's never been an intentionality of oh, I I need to dim my life. Wherever I was, that was my truth. And so there were times in college

that where I was was the person who watched pornography, where I was was the person who loved to go out and drink. And until I almost hit a blackout, but not a blackout, so I functioned a boy. You know? What? What? Almost. But all of them. What? There's a little bit left. I'm functionable. You know, what? I don't know.

But I don't know why. It's just a little bit of that. But that was where I was. So it was not, there was never the mindset of, oh, I want to adapt to what people are doing. It was just, that was my truth in that time. And I would, and there are times I would be going out and I could hear the Holy Spirit say, don't go out.

I'm like, well, you are coming with me or you can stay behind. But that was my truth. So whatever it was my truth in each moment, that was exactly who I was. So when I was the person who just wanted to party and that was exactly who I was. Yeah.

I think for me, it came down to this idea of like, I am building a life. But like, what am I building a life based on? Yeah. And for me sometimes it was like I just want to prove people wrong about me or I want people to see me differently, which means the foundation of my life was ultimately brokenness because I didn't want people

to see me in certain ways so that's fear, right? And so when I came to a place where I was like I just don't want to be afraid anymore. I don't want people to be, I don't wanna be afraid of what people are gonna think of me. I don't wanna be afraid of what people are gonna say about me. So how do I build my life in this place where I don't care whether or not people accept my story and accept my journey?

And I had to start with God for me because I'm like, where, I mean, God, if it's real, if everything I've been raised hearing is real, then you knew these things were gonna happen to me. You still made this plan for my life. I'm still here. And so I wanna figure out what it is you know about me. And I started building my life curious

about what God knew about me. So I started doing the opposite of what my fear told me to do. And that's how I rebuilt the foundation of my life from it being about fear to ultimately faith, faith that if I'm still here, there's a purpose for my life. And so that role that faith plays in our life can never be underestimated

because it is the thing that leads us to the thing that helps us discover who we are. So I just wonder, what is the thing that you have been most surprised about that was in you all along? Oh, that's a good question. That's good. That's so good.

The thing that has been most in me. Because like, don't you think of all the things you're doing now. There's nothing that you're doing now that you did not have the ability to do before. You just didn't have the revelation that you could do it. You know, actually, like, you know, connecting those two, I think that it's always been a desire

to serve people. And I think that the young girl who wanted her mother to be happy. The way she went about it was not the best, but it was this desire to see someone, you know, in a place, in a state, in a higher place, the wherever they were, like to see someone do better, like for something in my life to serve someone. And in the beginning, it was like, oh, I could serve my mom in this way. I remember like a lot of times my mom would tell me that even as a kid, there was always this desire of like when we would see kids on the street or whatever, like I would want to give them everything I had and so I think that deep down that has always been that it was always about like okay, I really just I'm like God used me to make humanity better in any way and so it translates now into whether it's as a pastor or speaking or whatever it is, but it really boils down. Like I really love people.

I mean, people can piss you off. But I really love people. And I think that's what it's always been. And that has been a strength for me really just through life. I'll tell you, there were two things I used to get in trouble for all the time when I was young. One was the fact that adults would always tell me their business, like always. So what I know now is that people have always felt safe being vulnerable with me, even when I was a young girl.

And I used to get in trouble for writing letters about things. This, I had a nanny at the time who had upset me greatly and I just started writing in the back of the car after she had upset me and she went in my own personal journal, wasn't hers, wasn't hers, my own personal journal and found a little something that hurt her little heart. But the thing is, that was my journal, but it also taught me like the power of words, like, because writing is like the thing that Ultimately changed my life and my ability to be vulnerable and writing in a way that I couldn't do with my words

And so those things were always in mean and I think like one of my greatest Commitments as a leader is to awaken what's already down on the inside of you to awaken a leader is to awaken what's already down on the inside of you, to awaken what got new when he formed you and your mother's womb and get you to take a chance on pulling that out. What do you think is your greatest mission as a leader, as a spiritual leader? I believe it's to see people walk out who got called them to be. For sure. I really believe that because even for me, I think what,

and to see them do that in a healthy relationship with God, what transformed my life that, like from the person who was just like, I just want to drink and not knowing that what I was doing in those moments was just kind of to numb things that had pain or whatnot. But it was the love of God in those moments. And the love of God, who was to speak to me, the love of God, who was to tell me about my life. And I'm like, God, are you talking to me in the club right now?

It was crazy, but I think that the love of God really pulled out from me, what he already placed within me. And it's so easy to see how easy it is to deviate from your call, to see how easy that could be if you are holding on to pain or you're holding on to your past or any of those things. And so I have my desire to see people really walk out who got his call them to be.

And that's why I think like I was having this conversation with a friend and they were asking me about, we were talking about a scenario like someone who, I mean it was bad, someone who killed somebody. Um, on the news, it was not something, you know, not like a person who, well, cause you taking it in the classroom. But she was like, she was talking about that and she was saying that man, that person is a really bad person.

And I was just like, I don't believe they're good or bad people. I just believe they're people who have been awakened to their purpose by God and people that have not. Because any of us could find ourselves in any lane at any particular time, if depending on the journey that your life took and the decisions you made when you got to wherever you were. So I really want to see people walk out who God has called them to be. And you're doing that every single day. And when you get those testimonies, what does that feel like for you?

It's amazing because there are moments where I'm like, wow, you got that from what I said. I said, are you sure you're doing it? But it just shows me the power of the Holy Spirit. Yeah. And it shows me the power of how God will partner with you and what you do. And how that can really speak to people and how, like, everything that we're called

to do it really matters on this earth. So you talked about, like, God even speaking to you in the club. He sure did. Like, how do you, like, how do you know it was God? Like, how do, like, what does the voice of God sound like? It sounds just like mine. But it does. It's not like, people like the voice of God sound like? It sounds just like mine. But it does.

It does. It's not like people, like, I wonder if God is talking to me. Like, are you talking to you? Because it starts off, it sounds like it's just like mine. It's like, you know, way that you can understand. And it is, it's hard to explain it. I think when I tell people, and I want to hear how you tell people about the voice of God,

but I think it starts with worship and vulnerability. and being open to whatever is happening in a moment. So when you go to church and you're still kind of like testing it out or you're listening to worship music and you're like, you know, what's happening here? But like being open to like, what if these words are true? Just for this, just for this moment, I want to live like the words in this song or true, you are a good, good father. Like what would that be like if I honestly and authentically felt that way? And I think that they're able to open up. And the voice of God for me is when you hear your own voice, but it gives you that feeling that you experience and worship, that's the voice of God.

If that makes sense. I agree. And I think for me, it's, it goes beyond what I would naturally I think for me, it goes beyond what I would naturally do in a situation. It goes beyond what I would naturally be inclined to. And not in a crazy way, because you do have the scenarios where people do crazy things. There's a force of grab out crazy people.

But there are only people who have been awakened to their right and the people who do crazy situations. But I think that it's something that it has that feeling of worship to it. Because for example, I remember the one time that was hilarious to me. So I'm in the club and I have two drinks in my hand. I was, I thought I was in the club. Both of them.

I was like, oh wow, that was it. And there was this lady who was like somewhere she was in the corner. And I heard it so clearly. He was like, go speak to that lady and let her know her dad is gonna make it. He's in the hospital right now. And I was like, sir.

Now it's not the time to talk to people about their fathers. And I remember I walked up to her, I was like, you know what? I'm still functional. And I walked up to her and I was like, hey, I know this is crazy. This is not the place of time. And I said, I just felt like I needed to tell you, your dad is probably in the hospital,

but God is with him. He's going to make it and she starts crying. And that was a moment that was healing for both her and me. Because I'm like, God, you are funny. This is not the scenario I would think you would use. I would think in this moment, you should be like upset with me, like Stephanie, what are you doing?

You need to get out of here. But even in this place, you can use me for this particular woman. And that to me was just healing and moving that what if, that even in my, like the moments where I would be hard in myself, the moments where I feel like I should not be here, like, Stephanie, do better.

You know better, do better, but then you start learning if I could really do better, I would. But if I don't have the power to get myself out of here, what if that was where I need it to be? What if this woman? So there are things that it just gave me so much, it changed my perspective in life, like the ways God moves and it's just, it's amazing to me. I think when you find out that God can still use you and then you take a step on that. So there are several steps, right? So one, you have to come to the realization that God can use you.

In spite of what you've gone through, in spite of what you've done, if you're still here, thing God says, I can still use you. You can still be a tunnel for me to do things in the earth. And then you have to come to the place where you're willing to take that step of faith. Like, okay, God, I want to be your tunnel. Now, let me actually produce.

Let me actually manifest what it is that you've placed down on the inside of me. And then when you see the results of just keeping the channel clear so that he can use you, you feel so honored that he would use you in spite of where you started from. And then I think that that just

takes your relationship with God to a whole nother level. And when you begin to honor and value your role as a tunnel and a vessel for God to use in any capacity, doesn't have to be a huge platform. It could be something just as kind as, you know, saying hello to someone in a grocery store. I think that it restores your worth. Very true. Because I struggled so much with my worth and value and now my worth and value is built on the fact that God sees me and sees me worthy of being used in the earth. And I think that's the most powerful thing that can change your value and your worth especially has a woman who's on a journey of constantly evolving service

is everything. Very true. I love that. And I think it heals people when people realize that it's not the good times of your life that counts. Right. It's like not at all. And I think for me that, and that's why now it's like sharing about those moments, there's

no shame attached to it, there's no guilt attached to it because I'm like,'s like sharing about those moments. There's no shame attached to it. There's no guilt attached to it because I'm like, no, I needed those moments. I needed to be like that was part of my story because, you know, again, I knew better, but I did not have the power to do better. And when I think about how other people you met in a long the way or how you can connect with other people

because you've been them. Then was it ever a waste? Was it ever not supposed to be? Was I ever supposed to be this person that should have been mature enough to know the best way or whatever? But I think it brings so much healing to people when they realize that the moments that you think count that count that counts you out from the promise of God is really part of what

qualifies you to do what you do. And we just, we hear that over and over again, but it's really just true. It's the true. It's like, it's, yeah, it's true. Yeah. It's just like 100. You know, just with red marks and everything.

It's a neat emoji. A neat emoji. Your life is an emoji. Can I just say that? What's your favorite emoji? You know, can you make a face? It's the one. Yes.

Mine is the magnifying glass, because that's how I like to look at people. What did you just say to me? I enjoy that one thoroughly. What are you looking forward to? So we're 2020 new decades. 2020. Yes. What makes you excited? You? So we're 2020 new day. What's planning? Yes.

What makes you excited? You know, I think, right? I'm in a space. So I went to Seattle for a sabbatical. And on my way back, I just had this, it was just this reality. And it's crazy now looking at, you know, the events that have occurred in with, you know, Kobe Brandon, all of that.

But I was on the plane and I shared this with a few of my friends and I had never felt afraid of flying in my life. I've never felt afraid of planes or anything like that. But that moment, the plane hadn't taken off yet and I just felt this overwhelming sense of death. And I was so confused. I'm like, God, what's happening?

You know, are you trying to tell me something? And in that moment, I heard like, if I was to take you home, would you be proud of the way you've lived? And I was like, absolutely not because I feel like there's so much potentially me that I've not even tapped into yet. And that, even my response made me ask myself,

like I'm aware of the potential in me that I've not tapped into yet. Why haven't I also tapped into that? And I just started thinking about different things that the Lord had placed on my heart. And I heard this when I came from me, when I came from God, but it was this one phrase and he said, if you ever dumb down how you, the things I've called you

to because of people, the best thing they can give you is a speech at your funeral. And I thought about that and I said, God, I wanna be everything you've called me to be. Like the reality of that phrase, die empty, really hit me. And I think that I'm in such a space now that I want to be and do everything that God has called me to and really live in a relentless, authentic way and not

back down and not coward down or not me shy about anything. Like there are things that terrify me. Speaking still terrifies me too now, which is shock people. But just be bold and just live it out. So yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you, there was one message that just changed my life and a message that I preached that I feel like really allowed me to step into another something. And it was unleashed. And I preached it.

I think it was the beginning of 2018. And I just talked about how God had unleashed Peter in all of these different ways. Like he unleashed his mind, he unleashed his heart. He unleashed all of these different things, but the last thing that he unleashed was his hand. And he gave him the power to perform miracles. And how 2018 was gonna be all about God unleashing our hands. You know, we've gone through all these levels, but now it's time to act it out.

And I have seen God unleash so many parts of you and so many parts of myself. And I think it's so important to be around people who make you intrigued by what else you can release in the air. That's right. And you are one of those people for us. And you've done that for me. So thank you. I love you. I love you.

This is great. I'm big. Sandwiches. Now let's have sandwiches. Oh no. Yes. Let's talk about toasted. Toasted.

No. No. Toziko breads that don't stick on your mouth. Isiko breads they don't stick? Because there's nothing in it. That's right. Because they either eat it or the Bible knew. Wow, that really hit me.

That was a good pith. It wasn't any pithening. Even the Bible, they also knew that Brad should not stick on your mouth. They, I don't know about that. You guys want to give me up to the Lord, to use Christ. You're just Christ. Are you healthy, Eater?

Are you? I am. Except pasta. Except pasta. And except when I'm eating just because, or what do they call it, eating? Eat mostly. I'm eating my feelings.

I don't eat all kinds of things. I think that Kobe Bryant passed seeing Injust Life has had me eating my eating my feelings. I had pizza and pasta. Yeah, same night or you split it up. Oh, no, the same night. That's fine. That's fine that when you went to sleep, it went to sleep. It's gone now. It showed up. You see it, you know where it is. I sure did. It's showed up. You see it, you know where it is. That's showed up. It's great. Yeah.

I forget. you