Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Mind Your Business: Trusting God in Unfamiliar Seasons

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

Life has been life-ing, and this week's Mind Your Business episode is proof that you're not the only one trying to figure it out. Sarah Jakes Roberts answers your questions on navigating grief, trusting God in unfamiliar seasons, stepping into His promises after surviving, waiting for marriage without making it an idol, setting boundaries with adult children, and making major relationship decisions. Check out our partners: Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts at https://www.rula.com/EVOLVE patients typically pay $15 per session with insurance. Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at https://Lolablankets.com by using code EVOLVE at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. Shopify: Your landlord has a small business. Your ex has a small business. What are you waiting for? Start your free trial today at https://shopify.com/evolve Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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You can enjoy a punch just like Reacher. Entertainment meets fast delivery. It's on Prime. What's that family? This is your girl, Sarah Jake's Roberts, and you are tuned into the Woman Evolve podcast. What's going on with you? What's happening in your world? I am so excited that I get to spend the next few minutes with you.

For those of you who are not watching online, you can't tell that I have on makeup and a ponytail. I got a headband on so that the wig don't move, but I got on ponytail and makeup. You know what that means? It's my birthday tomorrow. Like, when you all hear this podcast, my birthday would have already passed. But I looked in the mirror today and I said, you've been through enough. You've been through enough. As you walk into 38, put some eyebrows in the lash on.

And I am feeling I'm feeling like something's taking place. I cannot, like, I'm going to be 38. And to be honest, this birthday really hits different, as you can't imagine. I have just begun to wrap my mind around just how traumatic this experience has been. I think now that I'm getting to a space of recovery and my body is beginning to feel somewhat like I can trust it again, that I am feeling all of the things. I did a video and I'm neck brace for. I don't do wear my neck brace anymore, which means that I can drive and then I can eventually start physical therapy. And just holding all of the neck braces from the one that the paramedics put me into the one that the hospital gave me, the different hospital in the shower and one after

surgery. And it's just, I'm just so grateful, grateful to be alive. I don't have any plans. Like I still have some tightness in my throat and my range of mobility, range of mobility, motion. I still have some work to do, but I'm here and I'm so grateful. And I appreciate just your prayers and support and everything that you have sent my way during this season. I can't wait to share with you guys like everything that's happening in my life right now. I'm still working through it. But I'm grateful. I was talking to someone and it's like it's not just that this has been an interesting season or like a bad year. It's just been weird. Every single area of my life has been foreign.

You know, I feel like bad has familiarity to it. Like you know when something's bad, but this is just foreign. Everything has been uncharted territory. And part of what I've been writing is like when you are in uncharted territory, your knowledge of who God is and the faithfulness of God gets to increase in those moments as well. but while you're in the moment, it's just so unfamiliar and so awkward and uncomfortable. And yet discovering who God is, discovering who you are, who your people are in that season, it's a blessing. And I'm just grateful. So some of you are already sending me birthday love.

I've seen it on social because you were celebrating that I got to have my neck brace off just in time for my birthday. And so thank you for that birthday love. Shout out to all of July babies. What's up? You know, we're a special to grow, you know. we, everybody's special, but you know, you know what I'm saying? I also thought since I poured out my heart in last week's episode that I would take some time and clean out the inbox. I haven't been doing as many mind your business because obviously I've been recovering. And so we're going to

take this episode and clean out the inbox. I can hear what's going on in your world and you can get my thoughts and feedback. I'll tell you this. If you're listening to a question that comes up for mind your business and you're like, wait a minute, I got some insight on that. I could share. I have some experience, please drop it in the comments. Send us an email, podcast at womanevolve.com. We want to hear from you. We want to know what you would say back to a caller. And I would love to be able to read it back on the air. So stay tuned. Here we go. Here we go. Let's see what's happening in our girls' world. Hey, Sarah, it's Taisha again. I just love a message. And I think that was a little bit too long, windy, because it cut off on me. But try to run through really quick.

Single mom, I have two children. My son is 23. My daughter is 18. I watch both of my children graduate high school. Both of my parents are deceased. And, you know, I've just been trying to navigate life as fast as I can. And I'm very grateful for getting to where I am in life now. but I still feel so empty.

I still feel like something isn't there. Something is missing. And I'm just full of grief. I'm full of sadness and regret. And I don't know what to do. I've tried reaching out. I don't 100% feel like I haven't been moved to join a church home here. We actually did used to live in Dallas and I was a member of Potter's House, Fort.

Until we relocated to Little Elm and I went to the north under Pastor Brady. But I just, I don't know. I really would love to sit down and talk to you if you have the time at some point. I just feel like I need guidance. I feel so lost eight times and I just feel like what I'm doing is just not enough and I don't know what to do. Oh, Taisha, thank you so much for sending this note.

Man, I think that, one, I would be honored to take some time with you. Obviously, I'm still getting myself back into the full swing of things. But once I'm there, I think we can track how to get in touch with you. I asked the team about, is it possible to track how to get an email once you've called in? But I will share that you said you feel like you've got nothing. Do you feel that emptiness? And then you said that you've got some grief and sadness. And grief and sadness can often make us feel like we're down to nothing.

Like we've been robbed. I'm thinking about in scripture when Naomi says, listen, change my name. Call me Mara for the Lord has dealt with me bitter. it can be difficult to open ourselves up for connection and to open ourselves up to the vulnerability that connection requires when we feel empty and when we're still navigating lost. And I think that there's something to be said about community, but sometimes focus community can be very helpful. A grief support group, which I know like yikes, opening up my heart.

But sometimes you can just go and sit in and sitting in helps you to feel. less alone, life is hard. And I think that's been one of the things that I have had to embrace. Because, you know, when life happens to us, we want answers. Like, why did this happen? Did I do something wrong? Is God still good in the midst of it all? And if God is good, how am I supposed to trust him? And what does it look like to experience happiness in the midst of something that has devastated my sense of identity? and my sense of worth. And you deserve to grieve the fact that life doesn't feel good right now. And you deserve to be sad about the ways that life unpredictably change what you thought would create safety and comfort and joy.

You're allowed to grieve those things. And in the process of that, you're allowed to ask questions. That's one of the things that I really tried to do during this recovery process is sometimes, you know, we don't want to be dishonoring or disrespectful. And so we don't ask God questions and we don't question God in the midst of our circumstances. But I have learned that sacred, holy interrogation allows God to reveal more of who he is and more about what the human experience has and doesn't have as a part of it. And so to begin to ask God questions, like for me, I think, it came down to, did I do something wrong?

Like, I think it wasn't necessarily, did I do something wrong? It's like, Lord, is this payback for X, Y, and C, right? Because I know I haven't lived perfectly. And it's like, maybe in some way I brought this on myself, maybe I wasn't responsible enough here. Maybe I could have done better there. And so I'm trying to figure out what it is that created these circumstances, like some kind of way this is payback,

some kind of way this is where my grace or mercy ran out. And I really heard the Lord challenge me in saying that, you know, life is hard on everybody. The people who do everything absolutely perfectly, the people who make small mistakes, the people who make big ones, that the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike, that you can do everything well, everything right, forgive all of those things, and still experience heartbreak and still experience grief. The Lord did not promise us a life without trials and tribulations. He promised to be with us.

And one of the things that I have been leaning into on this journey is like, when God doesn't fix it, when God doesn't use his power to fix something, can I be satisfied with his presence alone? And if I can't be satisfied with his presence alone, then I don't know him well enough. And I use this as an example in the book that I'm working on about when I was going into the hospital and I wanted one of my family members to go into surgery with me. Of course, I didn't vocalize that. that I knew or assumed, I guess it wasn't possible. But I really begin questioning, like, why do I want them with me? They don't know nothing beyond some Grey's Anatomy episodes. They can't do anything to help the surgeons. They're not going to be able to offer any wisdom or insight. But there's something about their presence that makes the difference. And I had to be honest that there were moments where what I really wanted was God's power and not God's presence.

And if I didn't think that God's presence was enough, then there was something about his presence that has not yet been revealed to me. And in the process of doing that interrogation, I think I came to this place where I realized that for me, I saw God's presence as an authoritative figure in my life that I want to say this properly, that if I'm not working to get your love and attention or if you're not doing something for me,

then I don't know how to just enjoy your presence. And I think that my relationship with God had become unintentionally transactional. So in the moment where he didn't pay up in healing power, he didn't pay up and how I wanted him to show up, then I felt like I didn't know how to approach him. But to be able to hear a no from God and still lean into God, to hear a no from God

and not think that that doesn't mean he doesn't love us is a powerful exercise for us to embrace because it helps us when, we can't always say yes to people, when we can't always show up for people in the way that they want, but we still have love and value and desire to see them do well. And so I was challenged to lean more into God's presence than God's power. And the other thing is that I realized that I had prayed. There's a woman from our church, her name is Mother Nix.

And Mother Nix is 105 years old. And when you hear her talk about God, she talks about God's faithfulness and getting in your word and just trust in God and believing God. And I can remember her speaking one day and thinking to myself, man, I want to have that kind of faith. This is how that kind of faith is built. You know, our faith in God is built. Not when everything goes the way that we intended. It's when we trust God when the plans don't go the way that we desired. When Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked for you, he doesn't say, but I told no, so you're safe. When he doesn't say, you know, but I'm going to give you, I'm going to let you borrow some of my

power so you can withstand whatever comes your way. He says, saying, as I ask for, he wants to sift you as weak. He goes, but I've prayed for you. Okay, thank you. Thank you. What have you prayed that I stomp the devil on his head, that I'll do this other day? He says, I pray that your faith won't fail you. So in the moments where we're going through attacks, the question becomes is, does my faith fail me?

and there will be moments when it does. Man, I feel this. Maybe you're listening and your faith failed. You gave up on God. You gave up on people. You gave up on yourself because you went through something that sifted you as weep. And the process of going through that your faith has failed you. But I believe that God is sending this message to you on this random day to remind you that Jesus has prayed for you.

That he sits at the right hand of the Father, make an intercession on your behalf. half and he knows what it's like to be human, to be talked about, to be betrayed, to be disappointed. And so he knows exactly what to pray to get you over this season. So even when you feel like you're in it on your own, you have a savior in heaven who is praying for you. And so it is my prayer that as you're navigating these transitions, your children have graduated, you've lost your parents, you don't know where your joy is, that you will begin to ask the right kind of questions. And listen, what are those questions? Whatever's on your own? heart, but from a place of honesty that you say, God, I'm having a hard time trusting you.

I'm having a hard time believing that you're good. Be honest with God and then ask him, show me a sign of your goodness. Show me a sign that you hear me, that you see me. And when you get that sign, hang on to it. That mustard seed of faith will be what God uses to restore you back to a place of faith and trust. And so it is my prayer that your soul gets back to a place of trust. and that as your soul gets back to a place of trust that you'll lean into the goodness of God that is available to you in season and out of season. Thank you for trust me with this season of your heart. Hey, if you've been through a season where it felt like you were losing everything and you wondered where God was

and there was so much grief that you felt nothing at all and you felt empty, please write us in, tell us your testimony. We want to have testimony service where we hear about how God brought you out, write or call 214-790-881 call and leave us a testimony. Sometimes what someone needs to hear more than anything is that someone else has been in the dark season and came out on the other side. So please write us and tell us what you know about God

that someone else needs to know. As much as I love summer, there's something about the end of the season that can bring a different kind of pressure. School starts back, schedules get busier, vacations come to an end, work picks back up and before you know it, you're carrying stress that you didn't even realize was building. I've learned that taking care of our mental health deserves the same attention we give our physical health.

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on your own. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance. Visit rula.com slash evolve to get started. That's Rula.com slash evolve. You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget. Again, that's rula.com slash evolve. R-U-L-A dot com slash evolve to get started today. Now, let's get into our next question. Hello, my name is Lauren, and I wanted to know how do you walk in the promise when it does arrive? I think so long we are used to the struggle, the survival mode, being wary that once the promise

finally arrives, we're almost too afraid to walk towards it. How do I build a confidence? How do I build anoint? How do I feel worthy? because it's been so long and now I don't know if I'm even worthy or I'm scared of

no longer struggling which is something I'm familiar with. I know it sounds silly, but I hope it makes sense. Thank you so much for everything. You changed my life. Y'all have to stop with you change my life stuff. It'd be taking me down

because y'all changed my life. This is an incredible question. When I think about it, I think about things that have happened in my life that you're talking about, how do I trust it? I'll tell you, I am reminded of Romans 5. I'm going to pull up my Bible on my computer since I don't have my Bible in my office here with me. But I'm thinking about Romans 5 and this again is just on my heart because it's something that I've been kind of dissecting and writing about. But Romans 5 talks about tribulation

and that we glory in tribulations because tribulation is producing something. It says that tribulation produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope. But what happens to a lot of us is we end up in this cycle of tribulation, perseverance, tribulation, perseverance, until all I know how to do is survive, issue after issue, obstacle after obstacle. So when you're telling me that it's okay to have hope, I don't know how to do that. I don't even trust doing that because I know how to survive. I don't know how to live.

I don't know how to enjoy. And so you're not in it on your own. This is a part of our makeup is that once we get into a cycle mentally of becoming familiar with certain aspects of life, it's difficult for us to transition into something that requires imagination and vulnerability. And so how do we get to that next step where we're going from person to character? And it starts with asking questions about what that, tribulation taught us. You know, what did I learn about God? What did I learn about myself? What did I learn about people? What are the lessons buried in the tribulation that give me character? So there's something about what I've gone through that should change my character. And in changing my

character, it's changing my identity. And because I know that God is making all things work together for the good, I want to understand how it changed my character in negative ways, because I know that that's not what God wants for me and in positive ways because I know that that's a reflection of what God has for me. And so now I'm beginning to do the work of allowing what I've gone through to not just be a scar, but to change my formation. And when it changes my formation, then I begin to have a little bit of hope. Okay, it's not what I wanted to go through, but I can see how God can use it. I can see how I can afford to be down and people can show up for me that the world doesn't fall apart. see that everything isn't riding on me

and that gives me some hope, hope that I won't have to carry everything on my own, hope that when I need someone, they'll show up, hope that I can experience love, that I can be on the receiving end and not just the one who's giving. There's hope connected to tribulation. And so if I can once again, just to put

this in context, Paul is writing to a church in Rome and at the time that he's talking to this church in Rome, they're being persecuted for believing in Jesus. And so he's telling them, hey, we glory in the moments. where our faith is being persecuted, where we're being persecuted for our faith,

because that persecution and us hanging on to our faith in the midst of it all, it produces character. We know what kind of believer we are. We know what kind of faith we possess, and it produces character. And then it gives us hope that I can withstand tribulation that comes again, and I can withstand whatever comes my way

because I have this faith that has been strengthened in the midst of it all. And so you did not go through tribulation just to say, I'm a survivor. I'm tough. I'm hard. I can survive anything that's gone my way. You've gone through tribulation so that your faith can be developed. And if you feel like you've come to a place where your faith has been developed, then it should start to begin hope, start to produce hope. So, man, I will say, dare to enjoy it, you know, and you can enjoy it nervously. You know,

while some people may dive head first in, you're allowed to say, you know, I'm a little bit nervous, but I'm going to enjoy it anyway. Ask yourself what would it look like for me to let go of my fears and my anxieties and dive head first into this? What would it look like? What would it feel like? Begin to envision who you are as someone who's walking in the promise. That way, when it's time for you to step into it, you've already seen part of it in your mind. Start putting your faith in that direction.

I don't know what your promise is. I can think of moments in my life where the promise was financial, the promise was relational. and I had to ask myself, who am I going to have to be in order to step into it? You know who you've had to become to survive, who you've had to become in order to withstand some of the things that have come your way. What would it look like? Who would you have to become in order for you to embrace this season of joy? What's standing in the way?

And let's pray that away so that you can take in the fullness of what God has for you in this season. You already know that I'm a homebody. If I have a free evening, I'm probably curled up. on the couch with a good book or watching a movie with my family. And one thing that's always with me is my Lola blanket. I shared before how much this blanket meant to me during my recovery because comfort has been everything. But honestly, it's become a favorite in our whole house. If one of the kids sees it on the couch, they'll grab it. If we're watching movies at night, somebody's asking, where's the Lola blanket? It's just become that blanket everyone wants. I love that it's incredibly

soft, but it's also practical. It's machine washable, doesn't shed, doesn't peel, and it's made to last. It honestly looks beautiful, draped over the couch, too, so it adds a cozy touch to your home without sacrificing style. And if you're trying to figure out what to get someone this year, a housewarming gift, a wedding gift, or just because, this is one of those gifts that people could use every day. I completely understand why it's called the number one blanket in the world. For a limited time, our listeners can get 40% off select Lola Blanket products with code

Evolve at checkout. Just head to LolaBlankets.com and use code evolve. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and let them know we sent you. Wrap yourself in luxury with Lola Blankets. Again, that's 40% off, select Lola Blanket products. When you go to LolaBlankets.com and use code evolve at check. out. Hi. I just had a question. I feel like it'd be really cool if you could talk about like the

waiting season on your podcast. Like not necessarily for a specific topic. I feel like, you know, waiting for marriage is something that I'm currently like the season that I'm in. And I love for you talk about practical ways and like really excelling in the waiting season and not letting the thing you're waiting on become an idol. Yes, thank you for listening. God bless you guys.

Bye. I get a little touchy when it comes to answering questions about single life because I am married and I feel like there's a blind spot I have to what it means to not be in partnership. So I'm going to answer this question because you asked me. And I also just want to say there may be some aspects of your waiting season that I don't fully

understand and may not be able to really speak to. But what I will say is marriage was an idol for me. I grew up in church at the peak of purity culture where the only way to fix your life was to get married. Like a woman's value came down to get married, getting married, getting married. Then when I had a kid, it was like, oh, you definitely got to get married now because you got to bring this baby up in a family with two parents. So I was like, I got to get married. I got to get married. I got to get married. And I did get married. And I realized once I was in the marriage that it was a marriage that was built by insecurity out of fear and inadequacy. And the marriage I had wasn't the kind of marriage that God would have wanted for me or for the person who I was with. And like, sure, I have all the biblical grounds and all of that stuff. But like more than anything, I just know it wasn't a marriage that God put together. I say that to say when marriage becomes an idol, it also. puts us in a position where we make choices that aren't ideal or we can become resentful

towards God for not answering the thing that we're waiting for. So when we talk about practical, I'm going to say something that sounds insane. I am challenging you to ask God to remove the desire from your heart, to ask God to help you to desire relationship with him and to value the relationships that you have in your life more than waiting for this one person to show up. I am going to challenge you to make your life important outside of marriage and to get involved with service. I've told people before in the past, like the best way to distract yourself is to date yourself, learn a language, do the traveling, fall in love with life and become a servant to all who are around you. There's still going to be moments where you're lonely. There's still going to be

moments where you want to be in relationship with someone. But if we're talking about how do I not make this an idol in my life, then I want you to consider shifting your focus back to the one thing that you do want to worship and to allow that hunger to produce a different type of existence for you. And they tell the single girls all the time, like, you know, in the moment you do that, your man's going to show up. I'm not going to tell you that. I don't know that that's what's going to happen. But what I tell you is that the world can be changed. you can become better in the process of it, that you can fall deeper in love with yourself and with your neighbor and with those who are around you. And there will be moments where you feel like,

you know what, if this is all that ever happened, that would be enough. And then there will be the off moments where you like, but if you wanted to send me somebody, I show, I show it. Take it. But then you remind yourself that it's okay to have those moments where companionship and company sounds nice and also God hasn't revealed who that is or if that's his plan for me yet. And so I'm going to make the best of what I have now. Women can have incredibly fulfilling, powerful, impactful, rewarding, joy-filled lives outside of marriage. And you can be a testimony of that for someone else. And so I pray that that's helpful. I know that I'm married. And as a result, I may not, you know, understand fully what it's like to be in your shoes, but you ask me.

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I would like to know how do you deal with real disrespectful grown children that talk to you any kind of way and you go on and decide, okay, y'all going to live your life and I'll live mine. But then they start talking and calling and leaving messages again like nothing's ever happened. And I know I probably can never expect an apology, but, and I know the scripture tell us to love to forgive seven times 70, but, and I know my calculation ain't God's calculation. However, I know that 70 times seven, 70 times 70 or 70 times seven is well gone. And part of me, I'm getting older, and all I've ever wanted was my children's family, you know, just us to be together. But it's not happening, and, you know, they think they can talk to me any kind of.

away and I'm just close to accept this. You know, I don't mind us agreeing to disagree, but the rude down right disrespect, I'd rather be alone. Please help me. I hate that for you. I can tell. I can tell it's rude and disrespectful because they didn't tap dance on your last nerves.

It's obvious. You ain't got none left for them. I'm really, really sorry. The parent-child relationship, when it is at its best can be complicated. And certainly when there are challenges, it can be even more difficult. Without knowing all of the full details,

I feel like I can only offer a few different perspectives. Sometimes we let our pain out on the people who are closest to us. And their proximity to you may make it where they feel the most comfortable disrespecting you in ways that they couldn't do a boss, a partner, etc. And so some of their experiences may make you the target. I always talk about, you know, you've got to love people unconditionally from the distance in which makes that possible, which means that in order for me to love some people unconditionally, I need a little bit of space because the closer you get to me, the closer those conditions become.

I think another possibility is that their interpretation of your relationship, their interpretation of the role you may play in their relationship may make them feel like that type of behavior is warranted. I don't know. Are they apologizing? You know, are they airing grievances? Obviously, they're not doing it in ways that are appropriate. But is there something at play in their relationship dynamic that has made this expression? that has made this expression okay. And I think acknowledging and addressing, you know, maybe there have been moments throughout your life and your childhood where you feel like I failed you, where you feel like I could have done better. And now as you're aging, you're vocalizing that in ways that aren't healthy. You know, relationships often need translation and interpretation. And it may be possible that this is an instance in which they could use some additional

support. If you feel like at the end of the day, you know, I've never disrespected these kids. I've done the best that I can with them. Sure, things weren't perfect. I've owned those things. I've apologized for them. I want to start a new leaf. I don't know where they got this from. You know, I didn't talk to them like this. They shouldn't be talking to me like that. Like if you feel like you're checking all of those boxes, then unfortunately, you know, I do think maintaining the boundaries that you need in order to keep your heart healthy as you move into a different stage of your life, with your peace and your stress are directly related to your quality of life.

And to be able to say like, hey, you know, maybe we can only talk once a week. Maybe when things begin to take on a certain tone, we got to shift, or there's someone else that you can redirect them to in those moments where they need venting. If you feel like there's something to be said about there being fractures in their relationships, I just pray that you would ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you. There's a scripture that talks about the Holy Spirit bringing back to the remembrance of the disciples all that Jesus has taught them. And it sounds like the Holy Spirit has reminded you how many times you're supposed to forgive and the math, the clock, the math and math don't out. I would ask that the Holy Spirit give you wisdom, guidance, and strategy on what it's like for them to be them.

and the role that you can play if there's a role for you to play and being a part of getting them closer to what God has for them. Last thing I'll say is this, what's interesting about the adult child relationship with their parent is that it can be very easy to regress into like immature patterns. When I was in the height of my recovery, my mom was staying at our house with us. And like, when it was time for me to take my medicine,

she would be like putting the pill in my mouth. Like, I put the pill in your mouth. mind you, my hands work. Could have put the pill at my mouth, but there's this regression where she's like, open your mouth and I'm like, oh, and she's putting the pill in my mouth. And you just regress into these roles that often reflect an immaturity that life doesn't always demand of us. And so if your children are regressing into immature behaviors, when they are in relationship

with you and in your dynamic, you know, I think there's something to be said about kind of playing back, like what were our dynamics growing up? up, what kind of mother was out of them? Did they feel heard? You know, did I create this space where they could pop off like this on me? And do I need to reset? Do I need to reset the rules so that everyone can be on the same page? But once again, life is hard on people. The way they express it, the way it shows up, there's any number of reasons that why a person shows up the way that they show up. But what you know for sure is the way that they're showing up is damaging to your soul. If the Lord has not given you a word or a strategy to withstand what's happening to your soul,

then I think asking the Lord for boundaries and language to help create boundaries that preserve the love that you have for them and the respect that you want to see exist in their relationship. Girl, call me back. Send me a note. Send a pigeon and let me know if anything I said may have been helpful. And if you're listening and you know about powerful, off on your parents or you had a difficult relationship with your parents. Let's maybe hear the testimony of healing.

Again, you can call me and leave me a note at 214-790-871. I would love to hear your stories. Hello, hello. So, oh my gosh, I'm so excited to even say. I was on vacation and I met this man. Yes, I was in Brazil and I met this American man. He's so handsome. He turns out to check all the boxes.

I live in Florida and he lives in Los Angeles. And I am 31 years old. I have a successful business. I have a good job. I've planted roots in Florida. I'm born and raised in Florida. He has a great job. He just has his roots in L.A. as well.

And I'm just like, you know, being 31, I'm new to the womanhood, right? I'm new to this. I don't know. I have no kids, right? Never been married before. And I'm just like, do women really uproot their lives for a man? Like, what do I, like, what do I do? Like, if his option isn't to move from L.A. to Florida, what does that look like for me,

especially if I am in a situation or a place where I'm. I would love to start a family. I would love to get married. And we both see that potential. And we're both in the space and place where we can do that. But it's like, what does that look like for me as a woman? Like, am I roof? I don't know.

Help. That's so hard. Like, is it just fear? Okay, I don't want to ramble. But I think my main question is, like, girl, do I move to L.A.? Do I? Okay. Thank you, X, X, X, X, X.

that I love that question down so bad she said do women rip you called one the the woman in me you know what I mean a little throw up in my mouth because yeah they do we do we do I did and it was the most amazing decision of my life and it made me better in so many ways I met my husband in February. We went on our first date in March. We got married in November. And me and my two kids moved from Dallas to Los Angeles.

Now, for me, I had been married before and I had children. So, you know, he said he knew I was the one. I felt like he was the one. I was like, and when I have a ring on my finger and when that commitment has been made, I will start looking at moving and transitioning. I wasn't going to move until then. I don't know as a woman who doesn't have children, never been through a divorce before,

if you want to have those same types of principles. But if you really feel like, you know, he's checking all the boxes, the person God has for me. You got to know that as at first of all, you said you do 31 and you're new to the womanhood. We'll talk about that on the next podcast. But what I will say is this, you know, as a woman, you know, at 31 years old, and it sounds like you got a boss tendency to you, you got roots and you doing well in your work and your job, you know, there's a certain independent woman energy that you have when you begin to build a life without a man. And the idea of shifting your life for a man, it just don't be sitting right.

it just don't sit right that I would shift my life for a man, but also you are good man. Well, I'm going to do without you. So I say that to say this, that a lot of our conditioning culturally doesn't put us in a position where we can make those types of decisions without feeling a little red nosish, a little clownish. And so I just challenge you to like kind of go back to the basis of like your foundation. For me, I have a foundation in God. I have a foundation that at that time when I made the decision it made me attracted to people who I felt like

could bring out what God is placed inside of me continue to create an environment for what God was doing not just in my life but in my children's life and so when I was able to check all of those boxes I don't know what your boxes are when I was able to check all of those boxes I was able to resist the cultural cringe of picking up my life to move for a boy

knowing he wasn't he's a man he's a man not a boy You know what I mean? But nobody wants to be somewhere looking stupid, right? So I get that. But also, if God has brought this person to your life, even journeying to Los Angeles to be with that person, God's going to reveal to you who he is, who you are, and most importantly, who God is in the midst of it all. And you just have to trust God with that. And there were so many things that I had to unlearn in order to ready myself for partnership. But when I did that, it was beautiful for my own development. and for who I have continued to become as a woman and a leader. And so partnership that adds to your identity doesn't take away from it is essential and crucial to that. But the girls do do it. The girls do it. And I think the fact that you are asking these questions and having some hesitancy goes to show that you value yourself and you're worth in your time. And so I believe that you'll make a decision that reflects the same value and worth that God has for you.

but I think being honest with your partner about it as well I want to I'm a little nervous it puts me in a vulnerable position you're going to miss your family just because you miss your family doesn't mean you've made a mistake you're going to miss your life you're going to be in a new city and you're going to have this incredible person who is amazing but you're also going to be grieving a life that was very comfortable for you and maybe even playing him this or a pigeon contended to him you know your grief is not

a reflection of your gratitude, that you can be very grateful that he's in your life, but also sad that your life has changed and that you have a new city. It'll take you some time to find yourself and to accept and embrace a new identity outside of the roots, but it is possible to grow and flourish in different environments. And, you know, it sounds like you have the type of environment that I did was like, you know, and if it don't work out, you can come home, you know, is get your way back to Florida. You know, I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not telling you. I'm not you to move. I'm not telling you to move. It just got to be on you because you ain't fitting to call me and say, girl, you told me to move. I'm just telling you, I've done it. I did it. It wasn't easy,

but it was worth it because I was in a healthy place to make the right kind of choice and it was still challenging. But that didn't change that it was a good thing. So that's it. I love you. Thank you for calling me. Listen, if you want me to mind your business, give me a ring at 214-790-881. leave me a voicemail. If you're like, girl, you didn't trash somebody's life with your advice. Let me fix it. Call me too so we can fix somebody's life. Because listen, follow me as I follow Christ.

I'm still figuring this thing called Life Out and God is still doing a work in me. So, you know, I want to be a sounding board for you and hopefully point you back to God in your decision making. But I also make you feel a little less alone. And hopefully I did that. And thank you for spending my book. birthday let me mind your bit it ain't nothing like minding somebody else's business for your birthday because my my life my business is giving dumpster fire it's giving a lot going on it's giving the best part of my day was trying to highlight and contour and wear makeup because i haven't done it in a while and that's

given the high and everything else is giving wade in the water but god is with me and she's 38 and i love to see it i'll be back next week with more conversation more growth and I pray that you'll be back with me as well. Lord, thank you for those who called in and those who can relate to the questions that are on the hearts of your daughters. God, you love them. You know the plans that you have for them and you know the obstacles that they will face in pursuit of that plan. And I thank you Jesus for making intercession on their behalf for praying the things that only you could pray. Right now, God, you may be praying that someone's faith does and fail, that someone's strength would arise, that someone's courage would be awakened. Lord, I pray

that they would be comforted by the knowledge of knowing that they're not in it on their own. Holy Spirit, fill them, fill them in places that they didn't even know that they were empty, give them wisdom, give them comfort, give them peace, God, awaken their heart to the possibilities that exist within this moment. And may they dive deeper and deeper in the knowledge of who you are until they discover who they have always been meant to be. Bless them and bless us in Jesus' name. Amen. I see you next week.

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