Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Processing Fear w/ Sarah Jakes Roberts & Sunne Perry

Episode Date: September 1, 2021

Brace yourself for a two-piece combo because SJR and the healing homie, Sunne Perry, are hittin' us with a WORD left & right! Our guest co-host declared a place for petty in Mind Your Business Ministries & well…Woman Evolve. Hear how growing up in a big family, the ability to H.E.A.L., and allowing God in to process her fears have revolutionized Sunne from playing small to walking heavy in faith! Can being affirmed water the seeds of our destiny? And, when is a marriage worth saving? W.E. wanna hear from the Delegation, so press PLAY & join the discussion! Sponsors alert—try Noom.com/Evolve to build mindfulness habits + shop FlexFits.com/Evolve for menstrual products + gift imaginative play with AmericanGirl.com, promo code EVOLVE!

God can't bless you for tend to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. So what? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Try. Okay, so question. Have you ever found your groove in something? And then when it was time to switch, you got afraid because you were convinced that staying the same was easier than trying something new. That's how I'm feeling about this new podcast. I love the way that we got together for our fellowship last time, the last way we did this.

But I'm trying on something new and it's been exciting and stretching and fun. And I'm hoping that you are enjoying the journey as much as I am. One of the things that I do love about this new format is just hearing what other women are facing, what they have gone through and then tag teaming to help another sister out. I love this. I love getting to do it with you all still. I'm learning though that there is something about stepping out of our comfort zone that helps us to discover where God is and where His grace is for our lives. If we ever get to a place where we can do things in our own strength, then we no longer need God. So I do believe that God continues to stretch us so that we can continue to experience partnership with him.

So it's a bonus that I get to hang out with my girls in this process. Thank you for sticking with me. Make sure you put all your homies on this new format. I think I'll bless them. This week we're hanging out with delegation members Sunny Perry. She describes herself as hood, holy, and healing. Can I get a witness? Is there anyone who can resonate with this? She's automatically one of the homies. And if you are one of the homies and want to get into hosting the podcast with me, too, then email us at podcastatwomenevall.com. It's her this week.

It could be you next week. But let's tune into sunny. Girl, what's up? Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. How are you? Oh my God.

I'm good. I'm good. How are you? I love your shirt. You do? It's giving. It's giving me everything I need and more. Oh, I have to get you one again.

But again, wait, I have one somewhere. Um, from refuse to lose in Chicago, I gave you like this box. It was like this treasure chest box. Oh my god. And, and, and, you know, McKenzie probably has my box. They think that when I come home from being off the road

that I am obligated to share my things with her. And she walks around with shirt. I'm like, that's a wild woman refuses. I'm like, we need to get that from. She has my shirt. I will confiscate it from her. How are you? I am well.

Thank you so much. Thank you for doing this with me. We're gonna have a good time. Oh, I plan to. I came with my makeup on so we get full. Yes, we love to see it. Okay, so I'm trying to figure out where I want to start. So this is me like we're getting to know each other and I feel most comfortable when I know that someone has a little bit of petty in their spirit, a little Eve behavior in their spirit. And so I just want to know what is like an area of your life where you know better but you like struggling to do better but that's all right because Jesus paid it all. Oh, okay. So I actually have an acronym for petty

because sometimes it's petty on site for me or sometimes it's petty on purpose. So I'll be even, no shame, I'll be even that. But I know, I'm one of those people who, like some of us just need to be left alone. So if I see you in the street, sometimes it's like, I'll put my, I'm like, please don't let me see you.

Let me see me. I'm one of those people. I'll purposely drop something so nobody can see me when they turn. I like to time it. So like, you know, being able to fellowship outside of the ministry sometimes is, he working on me, he working sometimes is, he working on me, working on me, working on me, working on me.

It's a story. What I hear you saying is that you are a member of Mind Your Business Ministries and that when someone comes around, you invite them to mind their business by making sure you go the other direction. Is that what I'm picking up on? Absolutely. I just do a check.

I just do that. I'm mind to my business. That's how we have to keep our peace though, like Liz, and that's like when my daughter knocks on my door, and I'm right there doing absolutely nothing, I don't have to answer. It teaches her that I don't have to answer every time she knocks on the door.

I'm teaching her character. Yes, boundaries, boundaries. Boundaries. She's gonna need them. She's gonna need them. We all need a little bit of boundaries. And you are one, you are the oldest of 15 children. Let's talk about boundaries. I don't, I believe I probably introduced them to the family.

But they pretty much didn't really exist. I feel like, uh, yeah, yeah, it didn't exist. Uh, okay. Well, so you're the youngest of 15, not the oldest. Yes, I am the youngest. Wow. Yes. Now, all of us, we weren't all raised in the same house, you know, because I have, it's seven of us on my mom's side and then the remaining on my dad's side. But I'm the youngest of all 15 children, so yeah. That's still plenty of people to grow up around. Like that's a lot.

What was that like for you growing up around that? I mean, people have villages, but the villages are usually 15 total and yet there was just 15 children. What was that like? You know what, to be honest, if I'm totally transparent, it was not as like chaotic with like the numbers as a person would think because being a baby and because like my dad wasn't actually in my life for most of my life, I didn't really, I wasn't really raised around a lot of my siblings.

Most of them are significantly older, like I have siblings old enough to be my parent. I have nieces and nephews that are older than me. So it was at times, I think I struggled a little bit, just trying to figure out what my place was because there were so many. And yeah, so yeah. Yeah. That's funny, because like what I talk about the Eve,

like the main no compassionate about the story of Eve, was like thinking about this idea of her coming into a world that was already created. It already had its systems and functions. Everything had its own name. And yet she was supposed to like figure out where she fit in the midst of it. Can you remember like your earliest moment of feeling like man maybe I don't fit or like

that maybe your earliest moment of like insecurity where you wondered where do I fit in the big scheme of my family circle and dynamic? It was definitely, I would say right before I got to middle school, I definitely remember that only because I always felt like I was a black sheep of the family literally. And it wasn't until more recently that I felt like I had made peace with being different. Like my mom has always told me, you're different, you're different. I've always had to also, I've always been, like I've been here before,

I've always been the mature one out of my friends and on the block and everywhere. So it was almost like this thing of me feeling like, there's no space for me, there is no place for me and that it was all I've recently started learning that it's okay to take up space and that I always had a place. I just had understood where my space was and that I wasn't the black sheet. I learned something from my thinker name is Ty speaks. She said you weren't the black sheet, you were just the blueprint. And I feel like that just like freed me so much.

So definitely as in security starting off when I was like in middle school, right before I got to middle school. So you have said a word, you have preached a whole word. Being when you said that you weren't where your space was, but then you had to challenge up to take up space. I found my Holy Ghost because so many of us don't take up space until we find our space and then we live frustrated because we feel like there's no room for me.

Not recognizing that you create room for you when you step into the authenticity of who you are, and it sounds like that's what you're stepping into now. Yes, like, I can definitely say I can feel like the shift, I can feel like even in atmosphere where it's the church environment, because I grew up in church, you could be in, you listen. Sometimes navigate the church can be listening, maybe. We want to talk about trauma.

I guess we might go on it, but it can be difficult to feel like, especially when, I've learned that over time, a lot of times people think that different is divisive, and that's not the case. Like, you're okay with, it's okay to be different. that over time. A lot of times people think that different is divisive and that's not the case. There's okay, you're okay with it's okay to be different, but a lot of times if you don't have somebody affirming that, you sometimes feel like, oh, I'm the awkward one or I'm the one, something needs to change about me. Like, big guy, make a mistake about with me, you know. and did God make a mistake about me, you know.

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a day. Start your trial today at noom.com slash evolve. Who affirmed you, Sunny? Like, who affirmed you? You said sometimes if you don't have someone affirming you, who did that for you? Ooh, I feel like my mom has always tried to affirm me. I've had teachers along the way and professors that have affirmed me

more so affirming the way like I process things. And more recently, like, I've had like a spiritual mom come into the picture. I'm coming. I got some spiritual A.T.s and to be honest, my bishop and I'm going to tell you this, every time you show up, I feel like you affirm me when you drop a word that is for me, I really feel like you, not giving up, you showing up and you, man, I feel like you affirm me because I always said, I'm not manifying, and I did write a note, you know,

when I did give you the box, but the goal was, I feel like you showing up and being as authentic as you are, I feel like, oh my God, somebody understands. They can switch between your ranch and your ranch. They can understand the church culture. They can understand, they don't keep it a hundred. And I'm like, finally, somebody, I felt seen. I felt like, okay, I'm not crazy.

Like, I know that there's somebody out there. And I just, for it to be be you in such a large platform, I just feel like every time you show up, it just really affirms like you didn't matter that my life wasn't perfect, that I didn't got all my eyes across all my teeth. He didn't change his mind about me, so I just got to keep showing up. So yeah, that was all of you. That means I don't know. That means so much to me because when I started speaking

and sharing it was really a faith thing for me, I didn't feel qualified. I felt like you did where I felt like everybody who's doing this is doing it the right way. And here I am with my like taped together life. And this taped up scarred wound life. And yet, I just feel like there are other people like me out there. I'll tell you that it's hearing words like that that continue to affirm me. Sometimes we make affirmation seem like, you know, once you are affirmed once that that should be

enough to sustain you for a lifetime. And I think if we were the most healed whole versions of ourselves, that would be true. But the reality is that our insecurities are constantly speaking. The fear is constantly speaking. So we have to work to really hear the affirmation when it comes. And that's one of the things I was gonna actually talk to you about because I heard you say that all of these people were affirming you, your mom was affirming you, your teachers were affirming you. And yet it doesn't matter how much affirmation is around us.

If there's something in us that rejects it or pushes it away or disqualifies it, even when we are affirmed, we can walk away feeling invalidated because that insecurity is at war with the affirmation. And one of the things I'm learning is that the affirmation and insecurity can live in the same place.

They don't have to candle each other out. And I think I always doing that. We're like, you're smart, but this happens so that cancels out smart. And I think I always doing that. We're like, you're smart, but this happens so that cancels out smart. And I've had to work really hard to no longer do that to myself. Yeah, oh my God.

See, you say coming from my edges, I promise you, that is my God. Like, it's so interesting that you say that because in this moment when you asked me, who was affirming me, that was the first time I really thought about who was affirming me, but all this time, like I felt like I wasn't affirming until you asked, I'm like, wait a minute,

this person affirming, that person affirming, but it's not, and let's not believe it, you know, like unless it's real to me and unless I receive and have been able to like literally allow God to process me so I can see him see me as he sees me. It doesn't matter. Like I can read all the books. Husband can tell me I'm the finest thing. He loved me. It doesn't matter until I believe it. And I feel like I started believing it. Once I started to see the evidence, like, oh my God,

God, you spoke this over my life and look is happening. You know, like every time I try to hide, but if people are still drawing to me, I'm like, oh my God. Okay, God, you must, you're sure real about this thing. So yeah. I feel like that's homework for like the women who are listening right now who feel like no one's ever affirmed me,

no one's ever validated me to take some time and really consider like that's easy to say, but take some time and think about your aunt, think about your siblings, think about your mother, your father, your teachers, who would say things like this was really good work. You are very smart. You are beautiful. And how many times we did hear the words we needed to hear, but instead before they could penetrate our soul, we rejected them. And then who would we be if we received them? Like I think we

have to ask ourselves, like who would I become if I allowed this to water the seed of confidence that is down on the inside of me? And some kind of way, I believe that the work of womanhood, the work of evolving as a woman, is to find a way to allow the water of affirmation, the water evaluation that comes first from God, and then through others to water the seeds of affirmation, the water of validation that comes first from God and then through others to water the seeds of our destiny so that we can become the women that

God had in mind. Yes. Oh yes. God, he has really been doing like recently. Like God really checked me. Okay. I feel like I really want to share

this story because 10 of power loved one guy checks. Okay. So we had a power outage a couple weeks ago and it was like I felt like 48 hours, no power in our neighborhood. And I remember sitting there and I was looking at the free, Fidget Ray and I was like, oh my god. All is good meat and I just bought it's my to go to waste

God. All is good food in this refrigerator. It's going to waste and I thought about how a lot of it I had been storing it up, you know, like storing it up God food, we grew up in a shop and I was

stored up but I wouldn't go in and cook sometimes. I'm like, oh, my my just go buy out had all this good stuff stored up and I promise you the Holy Spirit said much like you. All this good stuff I have in you and Holy Spirit said much like you.

All this good stuff I have in you and you are refusing to release it. You're refusing to show up. And like I feel like he came for me so badly, but it was so needed because all this time I would be like, all right, God, you put too much in me. I don't know which way to go. And it wasn't until I was revisiting the story of the parables

where the man had the five, the two, and the one talent. When it was something that stood out so much this time, it was he gave them each those talents according to their ability. And I was like, oh, wait a minute. I've been playing small all this time, masking it in humility. And it was like, I gave you this because you have the ability

to execute with this. And so I was like, oh my God, check me. Just keep checking me, because I made it. Check me. Yes, please. Okay, so like, if we're sticking with this analogy, then let me go on it. Like, I feel we tag team preaching at this point

to our system's the delegation. But you know part of the reason why we don't pull out those things that God has stored inside of us is because the work of unthawing them, the work of getting the ice of heartbreak, the ice of disappointment, the ice of insecurity, all of them so that they can actually be usable is where so off of them so that they can actually be usable

as where so many of us stumble. Because yes, you may be gifted in writing, but you have to deal with people. And until you get over your trust issues, then you can't even use the gift that God has given you. So we have to be willing. This is faith without works.

Faith is, I believe God gave me something. Work is, I'm going to make sure that I don't allow anything that happened to me or anything that anyone said to keep me from releasing what God gave me because we recognize that when I release it, I'm gonna feed, people are gonna be fed from what I carry and then nourished and then they to become people who feed and nourish other people.

That's the way the kingdom gets established. That's discipleship. Yeah, see, that's the hill. That's why I'm so big on healing because like, if I don't deal with me, if I don't deal with the things, you know, from my past, a lot of those things have prevented me from showing up. If I'm totally honest, you honest, I can pinpoint certain things was like, oh, not only that had effected me then, but it buried itself, it dug deep down in there. And it was like affecting everything else

that I was trying to produce or how I was showing up daily. So it's like, when you were talking, I'm like, that's why I'm so big on healing. I'm so big on it. I'm like The whole healing home. I'm anything healing. Let's go. I can go there all day. Let's go. Let's do this work I got to do it because I have to release was in me, you know What's healthy for your body helps save the planet and gives you peace of mind with leak protection your body helps save the planet and gives you peace of mind with leak protection. You're on your period.

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Okay, Sunny, so I wanna know, do you remember the first time that you were really proud of yourself? Ooh. Okay, I don't remember the absolute first time, but I can tell you the the time that that always stands out. Yeah. So I had, I was in a situation and I was in my master's program and I ended up getting pregnant with my my last son, my baby boy, and it was like, do I allow myself to stay in this depression, this shame, this guilt, you know, I had fallen from the poor pit, I'll just say that. And I realized, like I kept showing up,

I was like, I'm gonna get through this program. I don't care what happens, I'm getting through this program, I'm getting through this internship, very little money, I'm gonna keep showing up in church, I'm gonna keep going. And I remember just looking back at the graduation, my graduation photos with my son in my hand and that feeling of like I made it, even looking back at like my maternity photos

from that situation. It was like one of those things where like, yes, the picture was beautiful, but I was so broken and ugly inside. Like no one knew how bad it was for me. No one knew how much I was dead inside. And so every time I see like that maternity picture or the graduation photos, I'm like, you did it girl. You stood up. You did not let that get in the way of where you wanted to go. You beat that.

And so for me, I am most proud of the fact that I didn't quit, that I didn't let depression have the final say, that I didn't let shame and, you know, me being active in ministry and having to face, you know, the fact that I was human and needed this grace. I didn't let that stop me. So yeah. There's something about that outside looking in. I wonder how many of us would become more gentle with ourselves if we took the time to look at our lives from the outside.

Because from the inside, we know like, man, I'm barely hanging on right now, or there's still so much more that I could be doing. But then you come along this moment where you're looking at this picture of who you used to be, or someone hears your story, and they're like, it ain't no way I could have made it. Man, you've gone through so much. And we're able to take appreciation for all that we've gone through in order to become who we are. I feel like that sometimes in my own life, sometimes when people are like, oh, you're inspiring and stuff, I'm just kind of like, I guess.

Because I'm still trying to figure this out like, I guess. But then I have a moment where I like step out of my own, you know, need to keep going and pushing and I see that like, man, if you didn't do anything else, like you've done more than you could have even thought was possible, like guy has really blessed your life in an exceptional way. That's hard to do. I'm glad that you have those moments

to look back over, man. I think I feel the same way when I look at old pictures at myself glad that you have those moments to look back over, man. I think I saw the same way when I look at old pictures of myself now that you mentioned in just like dang, if that girl would have known that she would make it to this point, she would have had so much more peace in the process. Listen, your girl would have showed up like,

who the hell is that? You know, I love me anyway. You know, like I would have walked in with my hair held high. I wouldn't have been just trying to tip toe through life. You know, I would have been okay walking heavy. You know, step and move. I would have been okay walking heavy. Or am I?

Look, don't do that. Or am I? I'm like, don't do that. Or am I? It's oily. It's oily. Man, I just because I know I get to speak with women all day every day and I know how many of us are tiptoeing through life because we are afraid to walk heavy in crush relationships and crush perspective

and yet not recognizing that it is only until we are willing to walk heavy that we really become someone who God can trust with more and more. And part of processing our fears is really recognizing that our fears are not as powerful as our mind makes us believe that they are that our faith and our spirit can outweigh any of those things and when we recognize that we do walk heavy like I'm afraid but I'm gonna do it anyway And I don't know but I believe guys gonna teach me along the way That's what walking heavy is is realizing that I'm gonna crush my fears in the process of me stepping out on faith. Yes. All of that. You better preach the word, Sunny. You better preach the word. Listen, here are you saying that? I'm going to have to take this clip when I get it at some point

and say, Sarah told me I better preach the word. I better. Yes. Yes. I'm happy to show up. I'm better. Yes. Yes. I'm happy show up. I'm at the stuff a little heavier. So Okay, so I have an advice question from a member of the delegation that we're going to answer together. We're going to try and answer this one together. And okay, here we go. You ready? Yes. Walk heavy. Walk heavy when you answer this question. Okay. Walk heavy. Walk heavy when you answer this question. Okay. Sit up. Here we go. It says, my husband and I have been married just shy of two years and already I am thinking of walking away.

We both make good money. My husband has a doctorate so he makes more than me. He has a demanding job and he has been very stressed at work lately. He drank too much and got into an accident. I have told him several times he can always take an Uber. He was charged with his second DUI. I am extremely angry and I feel that I cannot support him through this one because I am so angry. We have a seven-month-old child in just finished building our home. How could he almost risk it all?

He is hesitant about marriage counseling and individual therapy, but he did not definitively say no to either. Is it wrong that I am looking for an apartment? Thank you for a straight-ed new wife and mom. Woo! That's a heavy one. Okay. I'm going to take a stab at it and then I want to hear what you say, Sunny. Oh, that's a heavy one. Okay, I'm gonna take a stab at it.

And then I wanna hear what you say, Sonny. Okay, okay. You know, girl, here's the thing. I can understand the frustration of feeling like I don't wanna have to raise a man and a child. Like, you are supposed to be my partner. You're supposed to be making the sacrificial decisions just as I am so that we can show up for this life that we are both in pursuit

of. What I will also say is this, that one of the complexities of marriage is that you're not just marrying this adult person who has it all together. You're also marrying the brokenness, the insecurities, the trauma, the past trauma, present trauma and future trauma of a person. And if we just look at the results of our spouse, then we may miss out on an opportunity to help them recognize areas of healing and growth. In this instance, though it is irresponsible,

though it is not something that I think you should excuse in any way, you know, this is something that I think happens in lots of marriages that people have to work through. You're not physically in danger, it doesn't seem like, it doesn't seem like there's infidelity taking taking place here. It seems like this is something that is an area of brokenness and healing that your husband needs to walk through. And as his partner, what we sign up for is not just the pretty picture with the white picket fence. We sign up for these tough moments

of realizing like man, you have an issue, man, you have an issue, man you have an addiction, man you have a struggle. And he has to be willing to do the work to rectify those things. He's got to be willing to roll up his sleeves and do the work. And if he's willing to do that, I'm just wondering if you can roll up the sleeves, roll up your sleeves and do the work too. Knowing that part of rolling up your sleeves is not pretending you aren't angry. You can be angry. That's something you got to take into counseling. That's something you have to work out. Those are the consequences of his actions. But, you know, marriage is hard. And this is why people say it's hard

is because I thought I was marrying someone who had it all together. And now I'm learning that I'm marrying someone who's a work in progress. But just remember that your thing may not be drinking. It may be, you know, having a smart mouth. Let me pull out my own closet and testimony. It may be like doing being independent in marriage and really not allowing someone to fully come in and have partnership with you. Like, you don't know what your thing is,

but I'm sure you have something. And the same grace that you're gonna want for your something, trying to extend it for his. That's my two cents. What say ye, sonny? What say ye? Listen, that last part, I'm heavy on the grace thing. I'm really heavy on it.

I am in full agreement with what you're saying. I think, oh, Jesus, when we say I do, I'm not just saying I do to the good. We say I do to the process of them becoming, right? Because they're not who you were or who he was on the day of your wedding or when you said yes or when you agreed to be engaged with him. He's not the same person he will be or is now and I feel like that's the same way with her as well or us. We're always evolving. Yeah. We're women involved. But no, like I think we have to always be mindful of grace and because again, like you said, his thing may be the addiction and not to turn on the counselor at,

but definitely addiction vibes going on from, I was doing a necessity right now as a counselor, I would definitely say, he definitely needs to get some professional help, but again, the willingness, he definitely needs to get some professional help. But again, the willingness, if he has to be willing, you know, and he's going to be the one to do the work. But I think the question is, is she able to stick with him while he's being processed and, you know, until he's able to walk into that willingness to do the work.

So, I don't know, that's tough. I got, okay, so now I'm taking you back and off what you said, too, because that process of doing the work can be very, very tough. And I feel like, what you said about when we marry someone, we're not just marrying them for good. Like we're also marrying everything that comes with it.

This is like the word of advice that I would give someone who is looking to get married or who's thinking about really taking things into the next step with someone who they're in a relationship with. Like you have to marry someone and be willing to stay to yourself. If nothing changed about who they are right now,

I could spend the rest of my life with who I see right now. With the knowledge that they are going to change, but the foundation of us coming together is that you have at your core something that I said I could sign up for forever. But when we marry someone or we get serious with someone and we already have this list of like, yeah, but you got to have more integrity. And yeah, you can learn how to communicate more light.

We are already setting ourselves up for failure. You know, my girl is going to have to be willing to do this work. You know, and if not, I think she's got to be honest about how his actions are affecting her and not just like chastising him for what he did, but like I'm afraid that my child won't have a father. I'm afraid that you're going to go to jail. I'm afraid that this is going to break my heart. Like you got to make it real because anger just sounds like a nagging angry wife sometimes and you're just telling him what he already knows. But if you let him into the hurt of how his actions

are affecting you, you make it a different response from him. Absolutely. And you know, you say in anger, oftentimes when I work with my clients, I'll just often tell them anger is usually a secondary emotion. So what is the root? What is behind that? What is the primary thing? And you're saying honesty, listen, I really believe that even though he's going to have to go and get some professional help, like this probably is going to impact her

in a way where she will have to get help as well, you know, to work through how she's feeling, to work through, you know, those fears that you mentioned. And I just see it being like it's something that both of them have to do the work with different levels, you know, in different reasons. But definitely, yeah, it's it's a partnership, you know, it's listen, if she can stay honest about how she's feeling, I think that will help in the long run. This episode is brought to you by Bitty Baby from American Girl.

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Now I have to ask you questions about anger because, you know, you're therapist, so you got to answer my questions. Oh, God. Okay. So there are a lot of women who are walking around with unprocessed anger. It is the emotion that comes most natural and organic to them and they feel it all of the time. And I feel like I don't even know this wasn't planned, this wasn't part of the direction, but you said that word. And I just recognize in speaking with women that we don't know how to process some of these other emotions outside

of anger. So anger becomes the default. And I think to your point, you know, anger's masquerading something else that we are feeling, how do we, how do we do the work to figure out? Why am I so angry? What is this feeling that I can't let go of, that keeps showing up in my life as anger? Ooh, it's, wow. I'm sooner like, I can't, I'm so excited that you asked me that question to be honest. So like, if I can just say like, I always talk about healing, right?

So this is actually acronym, and this is what I've utilized in my life, but I'm beat 100. The age is honestly, like I've had to get so honest, like with regardless if no one understood it, I had to be so honest. It didn't matter like if there was, oh, I want to call this person a name, or I have to yell right now, or I don't feel comfortable being right here. Like I started being able to own exactly what it was that I feel like I can describe it in a moment. So I feel like one stepping into that honesty, giving yourself space to just be like to

just even if you don't know how to describe it, I know you often talk about the feeling box. But like even if you don't really know how to describe it, just start to put words to it. Because I feel like when we start to put words and give language to it, then that gives us a place to start, to pinpoint and start to peel back the layers. The E4 in heel is examination, right?

And that examination is like, okay, I start to pay attention. Is there certain people? Is there certain things? Is there certain music? Is there certain sense? Is there certain times of the day? Is there certain times of the year?

Is there certain, you know, like atmospheres that I'm in that's all the sudden triggering this anger or that's building or triggering what it is I'm feeling, right? So you start to do some of that examination. The A part in the heel is taking action. Now usually that is that could be like journaling that could be getting some professional help that could be like just having a conversation with somebody saying you know what? I'm not okay. I've been doing some work and I just need to process this. Kind of like check in with somebody or check in, you know, and then the ill is the love part for me.

And when I say love is you become so intentional about loving yourself, but that to me, I feel like it's what helped me maintain the healing because healing is not a one and done thing, right? It's a process. And so I feel like when I do love me knowing that I need to love myself. I can't hold on to unforgiveness. I can't hold on to all these resentments. I can't hold on to the things that are going to impact me from showing up in my family or showing up in the world. So like that is what I would recommend and that's what I've done in the world. So that is what I would recommend

and that's what I've done in the past. So yeah, that was very impromptu, but it's reality. It's a whole process. It's so good and I know so many people are gonna be writing down notes. I love what he'll stand for and I have to tell you Sonia as you were speaking.

I felt like you are not just helping people to discover healing. Like you are quite literally a healer that your presence, your awareness, your sensitivity, your relatability has made you a healer. And I hope that you recognize that you're not just leading people to healing, that God entrust you with people because you are a healer. And even those who aren't necessarily ready to begin their healing journey will be intrigued because of your presence and will embark upon a journey of healing. So I just want you to know that what you're doing matters, that who you are is more than enough to get the work done.

And if I can just say that everything that you sense is possible for your life, it's not just ambition, it's not just a good idea, it is a God-sized dream, a God-sized vision, and God's gonna order your steps to manifestation, and we're just gonna sit in the corner and cheer you on in every way that we can. I believe in the gift of God that's on the inside of you and I just want you to keep going, keep moving, keep growing. Oh my God, we you if you only knew how

He has already been blowing my mind with this passage like if you knew the story of what he's done since I gave you that box in He has taken this thing to nation's do you hear me? Yeah, he has taken it to nation's. It's popping up everywhere. I'm getting DMs left and right. Oh my God. Even greater things, even greater things, even greater things. I love you. Thank you for

doing this with me. Oh my God. I'm trying my hardest to get by myself because you have no idea. You have no idea. And I'm like, don't do it. Do not do it. But I honor you and I thank you so much for your yes. I thank you for letting me know that there's a space for me and I just thank you so much for your opinions. Because you have helped me show up and saw other people that are connected with me because I'm seeing that is possible. So thank you so much. Well, I hope even more. When this goes out, you're going to bless a lot of people. So get ready for the harvest.

Thank you. Hey, care yourself. You too. Oh, my God. I have. We did it, Joe. We did it. Oh, my God. Why did you do Joe. We did it. Yes. Oh my god, why did you do that to me?

You did. Oh my god. But yes, thank you so much. You take care as well. You too. Bye. Okay, bye-bye. Okay, can I tell you that Sunny,

there's something on that girl's life. She's oily, she's amazing. There's so much more in store for her and for us. I'm one of those people who believe that if we are exposed to something, it is because it is down on the inside of us. And if there was anything about her life, her story, or in mine that resonated with you this podcast, don't just shrug it off, take it, treasure it,

marinate on it. Sometimes what God does in our life makes sense after the fact, hang on to it. The authenticity, wisdom, enjoy that Sonny shared with us was not only a blessing to me, but will for sure be a blessing to others. I hope you had as much fun as I did today. And to everyone listening, here's the joint, here's the thing. Join the conversation. Drop us a comment under this episode on the podcast app.

Subscribe, rate, put us on. Tell everybody about this new way of us connecting, learning, and growing from one another. And then again, if you want to co-host an episode with me, visit podcast at wamaniebawve.com, shoot me an email, tell me a little bit about yourself, and let's do this thing called Life Together. Love you. you