Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Reigniting the Middle w/ Brita DeBrest

Episode Date: June 28, 2023

They say it’s not how you start, it’s how you finish—but what about the middle? Here to empower us towards a path of consistency is Brita DeBrest, CEO of her wellness program TheJumpstartQueen.com! After failing to achieve a series of health goals, Brita explained to SJR how her taste changed as God created a hunger for the conditions of her soul. Sis, you don’t get the life you deserve, you get the life you decide. So, right where you are…in the middle of it all…choose to believe what God said about you! In this episode, W.E. discuss the journey to longevity, soul-based vs. ego-based decisions, self-discipline, & so much MORE! This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.com/Evolve.

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you can pair yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's their all things, all things, all things. Child. Even though I'm a little bit of a Bible thumper these days, most of you know that I didn't start that way.

Reading the Bible used to be a major snooze fest for me until I really started understanding exactly what makes the stories in the Bible so interesting. If you start in Genesis, you follow this story of humanity and God learning to be in relationship with one another. Generally, we start off strong and then it all goes down in flames. If you don't believe me, maybe you go back to Adam and even the garden. Maybe you start with Noah. There are so many times throughout scripture where we start off strong, but we end in devastation because what happens in the middle is what messes us up. We get in the middle and we start to feel discouraged.

We start to feel like maybe I can't trust God. Maybe God isn't faithful. That middle spot is where all of the complications start. Wedding, start off amazing, beautiful. You're so in love. You have this beautiful ceremony. You get into the middle of that marriage. You're having to communicate.

Everybody's inner child and triggers are showing up. The middle is what determines whether or not you're gonna have a long-standing relationship. Parenting, same thing. My mom used to tell me when my kids were young that the newborn stage was the easy part. Now I'm in the middle and I understand what this was talking about. Building a business, child. We got it off the ground.

How we keep it in the air, the middle, the middle, the middle. When we think about consistency, often we're thinking about a start and a finish, but very rarely do we think about the longevity of the middle. One of the things that I am learning to do is to really settle in the middle stage. In the stage where I'm still working, but I'm also having to rest, where I feel confident one moment, and my insecurity is peaking the next. I am no longer seeking to have it all together, but rather to invite the journey of mastery to meet me in the middle. Maybe I will never be completely masterful because my mastery will be tested by the reality of the world that I live in. So the middle is where it's all at. The middle is where our next guest,

Breita DeBress, has found herself inspiring others. Sure, she has so many goals that she wants to accomplish. So many things that she is going to see happen in the earth, but instead of waiting until she gets there, she's made the courageous, vulnerable, transparent decision to invite us into the middle. If you have been consistent, maybe in a negative way, consistently failing, consistently starting something and then quitting something, and you are ready to start

consistency that is headed in the direction of where you want to be, a consistency that lends itself to the positivity that you know is possible for you, then maybe you too need to stop thinking about the end and instead settle into the middle. I cannot think of a more powerful guess to help welcome you to the middle ground than breed a debris. She has been an incredible family friend of ours for over 20 years. She is hilarious, but she is a light that is unmistakable. From the moment that you have this encounter with her, I know for sure that you will never be the same. So buckle your seat belts, get ready.

It's going to be an incredible time. Welcome to the middle. We're glad you're here. incredible time. Welcome to the middle. We're glad you're here. Okay, so you have been a consistent present throughout my entire life at this point, as far as I can remember. And yet, I feel like I am being introduced to a new version of you. It thinks, especially in like the last year or so, I've noticed that you are really emerging with fresh confidence, fresh vision for your life. What do you attribute this new digging, this new revealing that I'm experiencing of you? Honestly, really, I got to give your

husband a plug because it really all started on Thanksgiving day. Okay. When you know, normally I travel with my family or work together. But whatever reason I decide, I'm gonna stay home this Thanksgiving. And I'm not gonna go anywhere. And you guys go, everybody got on the plane. I went back home and you just happened to text me,

I said, what you doing? And I said, I'm home by myself. I just wanted to be quiet. You said, I'm cooking a little bit of something. So I run to your house on Thanksgiving day. And sitting there talking to your husband and I don't even know how the conversation came up, but it was I was telling him something being very vulnerable, which normally we're all playing in the kids and everything. And I don't know what made me get in this deep conversation. And he sat

up there with his eyes a little squint like like most Christians do, like they smell in something. And he said, you know, do you believe that you deserve that? Or do you, how is your belief of what God said about you? Now, that's so simple. It's simple, literally as simple as somebody said, you know Mary had a little lamb, right? Yeah. It was that simple. But when I got home that day, I was laying in bed

and I was like, actually, pretty, do you? Do you believe that you deserve everything that you want? And then I began to research that thing. And so I realized the first step that I needed to take, really, as I was on this path anyway, it wasn't the habits that I did, because you know, I can set up a fast, I can order juice cleanse, I can see therapists, I can do all kinds

of stuff. So I have the habits in place, but if you don't believe that the things that you're going to do is really going to work because you've had such a cycle of failures, you know, I'm going to start on Monday, I'm going to do this on Monday. Then it really doesn't matter all the things that I put in place because I didn't believe that they were works. I failed so many times. And I finally got it really clicked that I deserve this. And then it I couldn't stop right there, right? I had to after the belief, I began to visualize what God said I can be, what I can do. It's had to visualize what it was that I was gonna do.

The vision was so scary, Sarah, that honestly, I thought I was hearing voices. Literally, I called my therapist, I said, yeah, Dr. Goldstein, I'm hearing voices, I'm gonna be a health coach. You gonna be a, oh, Breed, that's not normally your behavior. You're hearing voice, like, I really thought, like, that's crazy, I ain't gonna do that.

God's not gonna do that for me. It was really that scary. And so really it was just belief and then seeing myself in the position that God said I can be in and begin to try to walk toward that. Really. So that's really the chain. That's a path I'm on right now. So when you experience failure in the past, you don't think you believed in yourself and that's why you weren't able to experience the success you wanted? Possibly. I really think that I did not believe.

When you fail so much, so here's the thing. I'm very successful in every era of my life. I'm successful in business and respected. I'm really successful with my family. We all love each other. We get together every week. Ain't nobody fighting and cussing. No one's fighting or cussing in your family.

Well, we do fight. My brother, you know mom just broke up a fight three weeks ago, he kept putting his hands like, right. And I said, stop, he's not touching you, I'm not touching you, so yes, at 58 and 62, we still have fight like that. But we're a pretty good family, so.

And that's what I'm sure. So at the end of the day, I think it was more, like when you can completely fail, it's the one thing I wasn't successful in, right? Well, I won't say it's the one thing. I always think that it's, you know, when will I get married? Cause I think I'm so fine. I swear and that is not a joke.

And that is not like one of those, I think I am fine. I think I have so much to offer. And then even in that, like it's, even in that I started believing, yeah, I deserve that, God, you're not gonna leave me. I like that, you're gonna bring all those blessings in my life.

I was like, you don't get the life you deserve, you get the life you decide. So I think it was a decision that I woke up one day and I decided I'm gonna believe that I can have that. I'm gonna decide that I can have that. I'm gonna decide that I can have that. Now I'm gonna create the atmosphere for me to thrive in that. Okay, so you haven't defined what that one thing is for people who are just meeting you for the first time.

So you're like, I'm successful in every area of my life, but this one thing, how do you define that one thing? Well, since we can't cut some of the podcast and I can't name a part of my body that I want to say, is that big? No, it's about being healthy. And well, so even though I think I'm gorgeous, I know that this is not healthy. I know that this body in this 300 something pound frame

is not healthy. So why can't I conquer that? What is the thing that keeps him from that? And clearly, it's because you are not 100 pounds overweight, just because you like fried chicken. You must be eating something down. So if you could just identify what you're trying to push down, like I'm fine.

I feel like Obi-Wan Kenobi now, like I see things clearly. I hear things differently. Something is happening. The shift, like your father's been preaching on the shift, the shift is coming in my life and I feel it, because I'm doing completely things that I've never done before, completely different things.

So it's really in my wellness, in my wellness. Okay, I love that you put the emphasis on health because I think that there are so many standards and messages in our culture and social media, in media, on television that makes it about a specific body goal. And when you're trying to reach a body goal, it can be very frustrating. But when you make it about health, it seems like that would alleviate some of the pressure to live up to a body standard and more about just taking care of yourself.

Did you have to make that mental pivot or has it always been a health over image? Once again, I really do think I'm cute. I think when you start making decisions from your sole base decision and not an ego base decision, then you won't fall into the path of, I wanna do this, I can be in a bikini. I wanna do the,

because the bikini's coming, trust me. But, well, could come right now, too. Oh, it's, yeah. I mean, if you pull up pictures, you can't, you don't have a place to pull up pictures. I've already, I've already, I've already had been there. Bikini been here.

That's right. But I think, for me, if you make decisions, from your soul and not a ego-based decision, then you can't think of it that way. You can't think of it like you want to do this so you can be in that. That's not even where I'm coming from. I don't want my knees to hurt. I'm 58. I don't want my knees to hurt. I want to be able to, you know, one day I just woke up and I could not bend down and get something under the bed.

And I thought, oh my god, I must have pulled my back. No, you can't bend down no more. Like literally to bend down and get something under the bed, it's like I climbed the mountain. And I don't even know when it happened. It happened slowly. I just noticed that things are, you know, as you're getting older, those things aren't as tight.

And so I really think that's what it was for me. And I just, I don't want that feeling. That I can't operate in the vision that the Lord showed me for my life, feeling that way. Wow. That's really, that is really it. That's it. That simple.

Once again, Mary had a little lamb. Thank you. Hey. Hey. Hey. Everyone knows Beth Moore as a dynamic Bible teacher. She has been a trailblazer for women in ministry like myself, but I'm not sure if you knew that she is also the author of a fiction book that has just as much power in its punch

as her sermons or Bible study. I'm so excited that we are going to have her book for our August book of the month for the Woman Evolved Book Club. Her book, The Undoing of St. Sylvainus, is a book about a family's broken past and how they manage to navigate to a place of healing and breakthrough. I believe that this book is gonna be so powerful for you

because it's also gonna help you break the shame off of your past. I encourage you to join the Woman Evolved Book Club and to do the work with us in a community of like-minded women. Go to womanevolvedbookclub.com before July 10th, and join us in August, you don't wanna miss it. No, I think that what you said though is worth a pause. Like, I cannot, I'm gonna use my own language because I can't say it the way that you said it.

But I cannot walk into God's vision for my life, feeling the way that I currently feel. And that's just not physically. I think that applies to people who feel a way emotionally, mentally burnt out from their jobs. Like, I think there is a stage that we get to where we're like, who I am right now, how I feel right now, is not the type of person who can lay hold of that promise. And instead of giving up on the promise then, or disqualifying myself because I feel this way,

look this way, and this way, maybe instead, I need to roll up my sleeves and do the work to get it done. And that's what you're in right now. Absolutely. this way, maybe instead I need to roll up my sleeves and do the work to get it done. And that's what you're ending right now. Absolutely. And here's the thing. What I realized, especially in the beginning of the year, if I was going to evolve and the woman that God has called me to be, I would have to inquire or increase some disciplines

to make a difference. Otherwise, every year you're saying the same thing. I'm gonna do it this year. I'm gonna do it this year, but unless you inquire or increase the disciplines to make that happen, you will not do it that year. So what's one of those things I had to do? I had to focus.

I had to be disciplined in what I choose. You know, then you preach the message, what's your name of it? How to get your power back? Amazing. And you talked about your taste buds. Yeah. Hello, oh, right? Like at the end of the day, I don't even, I'm not even hungry for the things that I

used to be hungry for. I was never a drinker. Yeah. Like, but occasionally I will have wine with dinner with friends. And because I work in the music industry, you're always be treating backstage and there's something back there you're drinking and you're you kind of in the crowd But at the end of the day, I think I've had a glass of wine maybe twice this whole year Simply because I didn't have the taste for it probably because it's worth some of these pounds Yeah, it's that mean so I just think God has taken away my taste for so many things

It's fat me. So I just think God has taken away my taste for so many things that I was hungry for before. And I think that there was a book, somebody wrote Roxanne, somebody, what are you really hungry for? I'm watching my taste buds change as I put in those disciplines to increase or require the things that I didn't do before.

That's how I know how they're consistent and what I'm doing is it is so different there. I'm going to be a whole different person. I'm starting to take applications for a man. That's right. Drop that. What? What? Yeah, I'm saying I have applications for next year, 2024. That's second, I'm a conquer this wellness. Okay. And then, you know, we'll put an ad in a Christian in the church bulletin for that. For your man. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. You know, I do too. Thanks. Yeah. Okay. I want to pivot from that.

Okay. I'll pull this, put a pin in it. We'll come back. Okay. You talked about soul-based decision versus ego-based decision. Yeah. Can you tell me, what was the condition of your soul Okay, you talked about soul-based decision versus ego-based decision. Can you tell me what was the condition of your soul versus how

you're working on your soul now? Because you said that there's no way that you arrive here without recognizing that there's something on a soul level, not a hunger level, not an appetite level, but on a soul level that I'm trying to feel. And you're doing the work to fill that. But can you tell me first, like, what is the, what was the condition of your soul? I honestly think the condition of my soul before was because I'm such a wonderful person.

I know that's that, that sounds so like really really are you. But I really am. I thought that all of those things were just okay. Like I was doing enough to glide through life. You know, going to church or you know, logging in here and there, that was enough. Given $500 in the offering, that was enough. So those are the decisions I made before, but now as I increased my hunger to be better from making decisions from a soul base, you know, it's not about doing just enough. It's about reading your word,

turning off the television so that you can hear, how you want to ask guys something and don't shut up long enough to hear them. Stop playing so much. Even though that's my personality, I will always take the room as the jokester. I was born like that since I was a little, that's me. But, but listening, walking into a room and instead of being the clown in the room, I walk into the room now and I say, you know, it's like, first of all, God, what should I leave

in this? First of all, I know you have me in the room for a reason. What should I leave in this room? And what do you want me to take from the room? I'm hearing God clearly because I'm just quieting myself to hear him clearly, to turn off all my life. I've slept with the television on. I could not sleep without the TV. And it's always on with some kind of retarded ratchet show or something or CNN listening to it. Okay, I told you that. Edit it out. Edit out that please. But some kind of show that was not helpful. Yeah, helpful. One kind helpful. It true. And at the end of the day, now just

turning it off. Yeah. And just hearing God for myself, like I cannot believe that I can sleep through the night with that out of television. That's 58. That is big to me. That's how I know God's talking. He wants me to hear him when I wake up at three o'clock in the morning, what are you trying to say to me?

Remember that time I came to your house and that guys I packed up my whole plate of food? Uh-huh. That wasn't funny. And God woke me up at 3.30 and I'm thinking he had something to say to me But it was it was I was looking for the role and I did not pack the roles that had nothing to do I was talking about but I just remember that role That hurt my soul Souls okay, but anyway, go ahead, back. They're all that pivot stuff.

Go ahead. No, everything's fine. Yeah, sure. Watch me. Here we go. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready.

Okay, so when we talk about consistency, Yes. I feel like consistency generally has positive connotations, right? We're talking about consistently moving towards a goal or objective that would make us better. But when you have consistently done something that was maybe harmful or maybe wasn't necessarily working in your best interests and you're reintroducing consistency,

I feel that what you're telling me is that in order for it to be effective that it has to come from the soul. Is there a sense of betrayal to who you once were? Like if you are used to being the life of the party when you walk in, like do you feel a sense of betraying yourself in order to become the person who can lay hold of this promise. I want to make sure I'm asking this properly because I do think that a lot of people fail to change because they're afraid that the reintroduction of themselves would shake up their lives too much and they don't want to risk the consequence of people not getting it, not understanding it, thinking

they switched up. But the truth is that you do want to switch up and you do want people to make room for this new version of who you are. So how are you intentionally creating space for you to evolve as it relates to your relationships, your family, your business partners. You've got a big world that's known as certain version of you and now they're getting ready Or they are meeting someone new. Have you noticed how that changes anything at all? I have, but I don't care. It's the mic one. I have, but I don't care.

Okay. That really is the thing. That's the other wonderful place that I've come to. I don't care what people think. Yeah. I used to care what people think. I used to care what people think. Now, I really don't care. Now, here's the great thing. God has blessed me with amazing friends, and amazing family, amazing clients that love me.

We vacation together. So I don't have clients that I don't know. I work with people I love and I like, and I want to work with. So we literally go and vacations together. My clients love me. They've all offered for me to have a tucked, pulled, and everything,

because they want to see me around a very long time. I mean, who else going to count their money? They want to see me around. So the good thing is I have an amazing base. And so I've really not been faced with people saying, oh, she knew now. But if they come, once again, Mike, on, I do not care. Yeah.

It's funny. So you said the surgery part, you've actively chosen to not do that. I not only did I go through everything as cedars, I got all the way up until the week before the surgery and decided to change my mind. Because I felt, you know, the surgery is a tool. It's just a tool.

It's a hammer and a box. And until you change this, it's just a tool, which is why you see so many people, some people take to it and some people don't. I have a friend that reversed all his, Casey, why should I show I won't say it because they'll know I'm talking about it, but they've had it three times.

So the surgery is really nothing but a tool. You have to make up your mind and I figured, if I can close multi-million dollar deals and I can have a 30-year career in what I do. If I cannot manage and close this deal in my head, then something's wrong. Then the surgery is the least of the problems. I had to handle this.

And I believe I'm on the track for that. I am so excited. I am so so excited. Then I could just cry. I'm more excited than I've ever been about something. Because I know what's it. I know the changes come. Yeah. I will bust out and that's the wrong change, but I won't because I don't want you to have to pay me for my music. Thank you. I appreciate that. No problem.

I can bust out in it. Okay, but I feel it. I feel it. Explain to me, like, you have to, even if it means you cry, like, I want to know, how does this feel different than anything you've been? Like, what does it feel like? I'm walking different.

I'm talking different. Like I said, I go in rooms now, like, Obi-Wai can nobi and I scout the room. I feel it in my heart and my spirit. I'm here for reason. When I walk in the room, I know I deserve to be in that room. There's something for me in that room. When before, I'd go in as the jokester in the room because that's who I am. So I take the room that way. Now I know that God opened up that door for me to be in the room. Everything I do is different.

I'm in the market and I'm shopping and I promise you, I'll see a cookie that I used to eat. And I'll have a conversation in the market like a real person that has a problem. Like, you know, you don't need that cookie, just don't even put them in the cart. I would never do that. Yeah. Like I find myself correcting myself. Mm you don't need that cookie. Just don't even put them in the cart. I would never do that. Yeah.

Like I find myself correcting myself. Mm. And I never did that. Yeah. I felt because I worked hard. I'm up on this road. I'm doing this. I deserve it.

I can afford to go check myself to eat where I want to eat. I felt like that's what I'm supposed to do. I don't do that anymore. Yeah. That's why I'm excited. Like everything I am watching change in my life, everything. I'm watching God bring situations and relationships and potential situations in my life right now because I'm ready. Yeah. I wasn't ready. Okay, so

speaking about the things that are coming into your life, you're not just really walking down this path of wellness and health with a level of confidence and discipline that you've never had before. You're also doing a lot of never been done before and preparing yourself to share your story and to help inspire others. Can you talk to me a little bit about God telling you that you're going to be a health coach and how you are sharing that journey, not when you arrive, but literally right now, allowing people to be on this journey with you.

So, I was in Miami at an event, it had to do with real estate, and they had nothing to do with whatever. And it was from a gentleman who had done a show called the Great American Speak Off. And they're getting it picked up from a network. And they had shot season one. And I didn't know this man from Adam, but I respected his business knowledge. Yeah. So I met this conference with hundreds and hundreds of people. And they just announced we're going to give a golden ticket for the season two of the next great American speaker.

And you have to get in groups, and then the group will decide who was the most impactful in that two minutes, and then those winners will come on and they'll compete, and then by day two, we'll tell you who's the winner who got the golden ticket. So of course, I'm thinking, you know, I'm pretty cool. I've done a lot of things. I've worked for Prince death real records. I'm gonna get up and talk about that. I am Breeda. I am strong. I was gonna get up and say all that, right? And the

Lord, I opened up my mouth and I said, hi, I'm Breeda. I'm your wellness coach. I had I don't even know where it came from. And I said, I know, I see you looking at me. You're like, how's the score going to be my wellness coach? And I said, that's because you didn't see me at 400 pounds. And now I'm down, you know, almost 100 pounds. And I'm right in the middle of my journey. And I want to talk to you about celebrating the middle of anything to just celebrate yourself.

And I was like, you're talking about wellness coach, celebrating yourself in the middle of anything to just celebrate yourself. And I was like, you're talking about wellness coach, celebrating yourself in the middle, you're not at the end yet. Like, what are you saying? Long story short, I won the golden ticket out of all the people. Why? That was just a confirmation that God said,

see, this is what you're going to talk about. That's when I thought I was really hearing voices. It was, I wasn't really hearing voices, but it was that crazy that this would be a path and you don't want me to talk about none of those other amazing things I've done. You want me to talk about wellness coach, why I'm still standing here at 300 pounds?

That's God or I'm going to want something and you can go ahead and start a room and see the God or I'm going to want something. And you can go ahead and start a room and see the God or I'm going something. So I'm going to pick its God. So I think that, you know, that's what I'm doing. And so after 30 years in a career of business management, I am transitioning to something new. And next year, one plus one will still equal to for all my clients, but it'll look very different. I'll let the partners really take care of all of that day to day.

And I believe that I will travel this world speaking on wellness as me as an example. And you know what? People love seeing someone like them. Yeah. So God had to really show me because it was very funny to me. God had to show me, this is was very funny to me. God had to show me, this is why I want you to speak on it now and not wait till you get to the hundred and twenty or thirty, but I'd be dead and engraved and I still wouldn't be

one twenty. But when you get to the one eighty, this, I don't want you to wait until then. I want you to do it now because people will love that they see someone like them. So I said, okay, just only me out here looking, you know, all crazy and he hasn't. And so that's the new journey that I'm on. I'm the wellness coach. You're at the lot. A 300 pound. But I was 400 pounds.

But I'm wellness. Yes. I'm going on a journey and I want to take as many people with me as I can. Starting right now. This show was brought to you by BetterHelp. Who am I called to be in this season? That's a question I like to reflect on from time to time. In changing environments, meeting different people and facing new opportunities, I get to rethink the way time to time. In changing environments, meeting different people, and

facing new opportunities, I get to rethink the way I see myself. My husband and I recently had a conversation that honored a new way of being. I really needed to hear that. Since sometimes we don't know who we are or what we want until talking things through, if you're feeling like you need professional support these days, give BetterHelp a try. Talk therapy is a way to deepen self-awareness, identify values, and guide you towards self-discovery. So how does it work? Easy.

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help.com slash evolve, tell them we sent you. I think it's brilliant the middle coach, like this middle ground moment, because I do think that when we think of consistency, part of the reason why it's difficult to be consistent is because we're thinking about starting and we're thinking about finishing. And we don't really settle into the middle

because even when you reach 180, you're still gonna have to stay in that middle mentality to maintain wherever you land. And that middle mentality, I think it's what builds our businesses, right? Like, okay, I'm not just a startup. Now I have to learn how to sustain it and the sustaining is in the middle.

And so the more that you're able to highlight the middle, I do think that it's gonna attract so many people who are hoping to figure out, how do I do this for the long haul? I don't want it to just be a season. I don't want it to be a fat. I want it to be something that I'm able to sustain for the rest of my life.

And it does. It starts on the inside. And that's the hardest work you will ever do is in the middle of something. I don't care what area you're life. The hardest work when you're starting a business, like you said, at the end of the day, start is really close.

You can still see it. Yeah. It's so easy to go back, right? But then yet, the goal, which we're always evolving, so I don't know if you ever really reach a goal. Right. Like your father said in church yesterday, when you finally get to the top of the hill,

you've only learned that there's another hill to climb. There will always be another hill to climb. But that beginning is too close. Like, my mind will just go ahead and have this and I'll start back again on Monday You looking at the beginning. That's a beginning. That's a Monday mentality But then yet that that wonderful place over there where you're at a healthy spot Yeah, and you're ready to maintain it for the rest of your life You can you can see that but it's a little bit further than when you can see that.

So the middle is a blessing. I really don't even know where a guy gave me that. Honestly, I'm sitting there and I was really going to get up and talk about Purple Rain. That was, I was going to get up and talk about Purple Rain and Death Row and talk about guns and stuff. You know, we'll keep funny stories. You don't need anything like guns. I know.

But I was going to tell cute stories about working. I mean, so tell me about working for Death Row. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Could you say it? We couldn't say certain words. Uh, but I've had an amazing career. God has trusted me with amazing people.

And whatever, I will say this, whatever stories you hear about the people that I've worked with, some of them, they're pretty much true, but God has always graced me to be that calm, right smack dab in the middle of the studio, I'm the one that they respected, I can bring in the calm and it's been a beautiful ride. Did you ever imagine that your life would have so much color to it? Yeah. You know, my father, he died when I was eight and he was 33. And I remember my father was a famous jazz musician and play with Miles Davis and all the big

people. And I remember he would bring people, they would all be rehearsing downstairs in the basement. I mean, all the big jazz names and he'd make them come upstairs. Look at my baby and he'd make me sing and dance and stuff. So I was always, he called me his Hollywood, his little Hollywood. And when he died, I thought so much of my life was like, oh, he grew up without a father. And all that's true.

Sometimes I had a moment yesterday. That's anyway, all those moments do come up sometimes that my father died when I was young. But the beautiful moments come up. I can't tell that story. Bottom line is, yes, I knew I would have a colorful life. I did. You can't tell. And you can't tell't tell. I can't tell the story.

I didn't close to stories. Well, because it was, it's about a client and what they're doing is not public yet. So I can't use that. It's something beautiful, which I'll tell you off. But I just can't use that as an example. Because it's, yeah. But I'd love to because it's a real good one. By next year, you'll have me back. For sure. And I'll tell that story because it's a good one. Okay.

What a disaster. Yes, what a disaster. But yes, I know I'd be colorful. That's the colorful. Indeed. Okay, so, Breita, one of the questions that we've been asking, which I already know what your answer is going to be, so I'm going to ask you and then we can unpack it. Uh-uh.

Who is the woman who, maybe this might change your answer, but it probably won't. But what woman in your life has been most inspiring because of how she navigates the middle? Mommy. Yeah. Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, Mommy, Mommy. Can you please explain to them your obsession with your mother? Okay. Don't make me cry. I want to. She's just wonderful. She's so I'm not crying, but my mother is absolutely wonderful. She is funny, she is strong, she is amazing.

And like I said, my father died when he was 33. And she has been a single mother who has put her children through prep school. And she has given us all that she can done the best that she could. And that was pretty good. Never knew we were poor, when we were young, she drew a Christmas tree on the wall.

And made us think it was the coolest thing on the block. She really just didn't have money to buy a tree. She's that strong woman. And then what I love about mommy, she's that woman that God would give me so many other, you know, I noticed that all of my best friends, I have like six best friends, six amazing friends we've all been walking together

over 25 years, every one of them are close to their mother just like me. Now I may go to the extreme because I still lay on her like Ella lays on you. And at 58 and you know, I go toward her and she's like, Timber, like you're a tree coming toward but I still lay on her, I still lift her eyes open's like, Timber, like you're a tree coming toward her. But I still lay on her. I still lift her eyes open in the morning mama.

You woke. You lift her. I do. I do like this. G'mami, are you awake? You awake? You awake? Yeah, so she's amazing.

But God has given me best friends that love their mothers like that. So then I don't look so out of place because they're like me. They love their mother like me. I love your mother has been very, very beautiful in my life. I just, yeah, I just, I've been blessed, man. I've been blessed. And it took me all this time to catch up with the blessing,

to catch up with what God said about me. And some days, I feel like, gosh, you're just getting this at 58. And I realized I turned on the channel and I saw Pastor Hannah say, you're right on time. And so I finally stopped, you know, you beat yourself up. You know, I get delivered in this area and you beat yourself up in that area. You get delivered in that area. So I was delivered like, yeah, I'm on to something. And then the devil said, yeah, but you 58. You ain't going to have it long. What a 58. It's a new 25. So I could

have it long, but I have to go through, you know, you have to still tell your mind, no, that's not true. So yeah, that's who's been inspiring to me and I'm right on time. Okay, so. Oh, another one. Yeah, the next question after that is like, what do you hope that she knows about the role that you play, the role that she's played in your life?

You know what? She knows. And what I love about myself and my siblings, we treat my mother really well. She needs nothing from us. She's traveled this world a couple of times before we ever paid for her to go on a trip. My mother when she leaves this earth at a hopefully 120. She leaves us earth at a hopefully 120. There's nothing unsaid. So when you say that, what do I hope that she knows? Nothing.

I said it all. I've left it right on the table. And when I can't say it, I show it. If I, meaning that sometimes when I talk to my mother about mommy, do you know I'll bust out crying? And what are you crying for? Because she's very strong. So you I talk to my mother about mommy, do you know I'll bust out crying? And what are you crying for? Because she's very strong. So you don't see my mother cry. So when I can't say it, because it may sound emotional or corny, I show it.

And I'll say, hey, that's going so far. Hey, you want to go to Spain for dinner? Literally. Yeah, I know. So, it's nothing she, I know. Yeah. So, it's nothing she doesn't know. She knows it. Well, I'm going to try, I'm going to try a different angle.

Okay. A little Miss Hollywood. Yes. What do you hope she knows? While you had a lot of bumps in the road, mainly the roads that you built, not even that were thrown at me, the roads I built, I built that road block in my mind. If I could tell her, you're right on time, you traveled the road and you're on the way something so beautiful. There was always in you create the life that you want. Everything you need is smack dab in this belly.

And I thought it was just chicken in there. And that's why I was puffing out. I'm pregnant with a whole bunch of great stuff. And so if I could tell a little Miss Hollywood is you earned your name right. Fully so you were coin that, and the world was about to see that. That's what I would say. Yeah, that's right.

Duces, now cut that out. Yeah, okay. And that, thanks. Though. Why? Now, Brito, one thing is for sure, when the two of us get together, it is always a fun time.

I'm proud of you, though. You were really on your best behavior, which I know we were a little worried about. No cuss words and nothing. Maybe next time because we will definitely be having you back. I cannot wait to celebrate all of the wins connected to this season of your life. I cannot wait to experience every dimension of who you are. I'm so grateful you co-hosted with me. If you are like Breeda and you're trying to co-host with me, email podcast

at warmandyvov.com. We want to hear from you. Maybe you're not ready to sit in the hot seat. It's been a minute since we answered some advice questions. Send them my way. Maybe we'll have an advice question only episode. We've learned one thing for sure today and that is that the key to consistency is focusing more on the process than the outcome. That means this week that's what I want for you. A week of you experiencing the process

over the outcome. Then report back and let's see what else we can learn. Let's keep evolving together, chat soon. you