Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Reset Your Fears w/ Miss Diddy

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Liiisteeen, this episode is giving run up, get done up! ‘Cause W.E. woke up and chose violence—against the spirit of fear on today! Like forreal Sis, what you’re afraid of may not even exist. Our girl SJR & boss babe, Miss Diddy, are putting us on game! From how to look at fear…To taking inventory of those worries that never came to pass. Chile, the enemy better count its days playing on our top. Meanwhile, God out here wildin’ with secret miracles when W.E. trust Him more than ourselves! Wanna be brave in your communication? Need help separating WHAT your trauma created & WHERE divinity is calling you? Say less, by doing the most & plug into this week’s podcast! Plus, Little Miss Lifestyle Specialist & Queen of Marketing tells entrepreneurs how to keep their dreams alive! This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp & Noom, so hit ‘em up to reach those wellness goals. Then screen for a dream trip GIVEAWAY at MyHealth.BWHI.org!

God can't bless you for tend to be or who you can care yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Try. You know what's kind of interesting about faith and fears? Fear doesn't mind popping up unannounced. And depending on the intensity of the fear, faith seems to need some convincing to show up to the cookout. Like fear is here. Fear was on time, fear bought potato salad and hot dog buns and soda,

but faith is late. I want you to know that your girl be needing faith, okay? And faith needs a whole invitation, not just to come to the cookout, but really to go head to head with your fears. When fear shows up, it's often makes us feel like we're running on fumes that we're infy that we don't have what it takes.

But when faith stands up, it helps us to realize whether or not that fear was even worth having in the first place. In this episode, I'm talking to the culture shifter, the one and the only misditty about resetting our fears, and all of the things she has allowed Faith to push her towards. This is a conversation that is vulnerable, real, honest, raw and authentic, and I cannot wait for you, your fears and your faith to have a party with us. You will not leave the same. Hi. Hi, God for you, Quay. I'm doing great. Thank you. I know so much about you from other people, but I've never had an opportunity to actually speak

with you. I know. I have my own personal love that's about you in my life. So, this is like a moment for me that's very important and I want you to know that it's very, very important. Really? Okay, well, oh my gosh, beyond, beyond. I'm so excited.

Like I said, I know so much about the work that you do, the people that you're connected to just from the outside looking in. And I know that it's going to be something that's going to be so helpful and inspiring for the women who listen to the podcast, but I just know even in our exchange that it's going to be helpful for me. You know, all this month, we're like talking about resetting, because you know, you get into the middle of the year and it's like, who am I? Why am I? What did I? Like, does anything matter anymore? So I'm just wondering, like, what are you resetting at this point in the year for you? You know it's so very interesting you say that because I've said this probably just a couple

of times but you know during the pandemic everyone had their own realizations right they had these moments of what everything like you say what does it all mean what is it all for? Right what is going on we're reconnecting with these people, this and this. And for me, it wasn't that. For me, it was a time to reconnect with myself. Okay. And that was a part of the resetting. And it was tough because I worked at a mile a minute quickly.

I'm multitasked like a crazy person, by coming to a 50, 60 events a year, I'm here, I'm there. And I was for the first time able to understand why it was important to reset because I didn't even realize that, you know, when you work with a lot of people, you almost, you give so much of yourself out. And I wasn't being replenished, you know. Of course, I'm in my word, I can worship, I can quit getting the presence of God,

being in him, we together for a lifetime and after. But I wasn't being replenished. So the resetting is really important to discuss because it saved my life. Wow. And I think it saved my mind, my soul, my spirit because I didn't know I needed it, you know. And I was running off of fumes and I said,

wait a minute, it's a skirt. Where are my boundaries? What are those? I didn't even know that I could have them. You know, no one said, no, you build boundaries. You stay with them and you commit to them. I didn't even know I could have boundaries. That was a part of my resetting,

a lot of relationships changed around that, family relationships. So the way I'm doing it is getting to be closer with myself. Okay. I have two questions to ask you and I don't know which one I want to start with. But let's take it slow. Who do you become when you don't reset? Like who were you? Who was that girl? What inspired her? What moved her? What was she afraid of? Like I want to lay a framework for who you were before the reset. The girl before the reset. You know when people say we're running off of fumes, I think I was almost running off of trauma, you know, and the things that kind of happened in life and growing up and childhood and, you know, parental issues and life and, you know, kind of figuring that

out as an inner city girl and building everything brick by brick. So that person to me prior to the reset was definitely quick to respond. I think I've grown past that which took me a very long time. Those super hot headed and a piece of, I needed to be because of the work that I do, right? But then I learned how to lead a little more through grace, right? And that person also too, I think, was a lot more angry. Okay. You know, anger shows up differently. People think it's just like this explosive behavior, right? I think it's just sometimes this explosive behavior, right?

I think it's just sometimes we sit in it when we don't deal with the trauma, or we don't deal with the shortcomings or the disappointments. Because the disappointments is where it really like, that's when it becomes like, how do I resolve this disappointment that happens in this? And so, if I'd be completely vulnerable and completely honest is those were some of the characteristics I think that girl was.

You said running off a trauma which right before we went to press record after Potter's Tyron's gone by. Okay. Right before we were clicking record, you know, we're talking about resetting your fears. And I came out with like every theme for the month and then every week's emphasis a few months ago. And I'm like, what was that thing? You, I don't want people to reset their fears. Like this doesn't have the policy.

But when you said running off a trauma, it was like confirmation that it is exactly the theme that this week needs to have because When you're running off a trauma, what you're afraid of May not exist when you realize it. I've really healed beyond that point I'm running from an old fear or a fear that never manifested 100% and we have to understand that the spirit of fear is its own thing. So like the spirit of fear actually fears us, but because it's the spirit of fear, we think we have to take on fear. And fear is really not just understanding what's happening around you and the unknown being

really unfamiliar. So I think if we get to a place where knowing that the unknown is still okay, right? Because as long as we're in the master's hands and we're we're following which I learned, of course, from being under, studying under your husband for so long in the beginning days of his, um, his pastoring is that we have to follow God's dream for our lives. And as long as we're, you know, that's something you said probably 10 years ago to us, you know, and it stayed with me because I, I have to navigate my whole life based around that. Yeah. So the unknown is actually okay.

We haven't been there before. So we have the, it's mental. You gotta change how you're looking at fear on what that looks like. And know that fear actually fears us. So we're actually more powerful than it. We just have to tell ourselves quickly as we can tell ourselves, we are afraid of something.

Are we think we're afraid of something? Is as quickly as we can tell ourselves, we're not afraid of that. Okay, so you're not afraid of that. I got to ask you, what were you afraid of? Probably failing because like I work so hard and I live and I live a realized life in a life like a dream life, but it's always, you know, coming from humble beginnings, you're always on edge about that. I don't, what if this doesn't, what if this doesn't continue? What if this stops? What if, what is the next level of it all, you know,

and am I tracking? Am I not? Like, time is coming, time is continuously going. We're not getting younger. What does that look like? And not having a blueprint set before me, so my relationship with God is so important, so dope, because I have to rely upon that. I don't even have anything in front of me to really rely upon it, except for that, you know?

That's so good. I think, I thought that my fear was a failure, but I think that my greatest fear, especially after I had my son, was like not being able to take care of him, like not being present for him, not being able to take care of him, like just not being able to provide a life that was worthy of who he was, because I knew we were already starting in a deficit.

And I think I'm probably, he's gonna be 20 this year. And I mean, like he's actually my child, you know what I mean? Like we got the thing, like where he's going to school and I'm packing up the dorm and he calls me like and I don't think that I spend enough time really taking inventory of the fact that like that fear did not come to pass. And oh, I could like, wow. Do you hear me? Like, yeah. I got chills when I said that because we're so busy moving on to the next dream, the next

project, the next goal that I think our relationship with God would deepen so much further. If we took time to honor the fact that that boogeyman that you thought was coming, never came. It never came. Wow, that's so deep. That's really deep.

That's really deep. And it's also like that showing up, you said something about showing up for him, right? Because I think you, as I'm not a parent, but I assume that you put in your mind what you think showing up looks like. For sure. And you most likely showed up in ways

that you had no clue you were showing up in. And that wasn't your idea what showing up has been if you speak to him, I tell my friends that our parents often like, no, actually, ask your kid the question. Because what you think it is, is not really what it is in their mind. And it could have been a mom over you thought

you've worked showing up. And that's actually the mom and he really remembers. It was showing up for him. Yeah. That's OK. So I have this story of I was in my first marriage and I was mind-gone, just like, just bad, it was all bad. And we had the house and the suburbs and the trick-or-treating.

And like the whole thing looks good, but emotionally, I was just in a terrible space, but I had me and at the time of two kids and you know, I was making the best of it that I could. And it was during summer break and you know I was all over DC and all over Virginia like trying to just do mom stuff to really keep myself distracted from the misery I was experiencing. And I remember walking him to the bus stop on the first day of school and he goes to get on the bus and then he turns around and he goes, thanks for a great summer mom and then gets on the bus. And like in that moment, I could have just crumbled because I was showing that for him and didn't even know it. So that you saying that like really

just a full circle moment for me. Yeah, but those moments you're talking about taking inventory, those moments you have to take inventory Yeah, when it is the full circle moment and it is the boogie man's not realized right? But like the moment is realized where you're like it landed. Yeah, it landed good This this is this is what it was for yeah, man Those moments I'm actually learning I feel like they're secret miracles, those quiet miracles that you have to be willing to silence your world to really hear.

Like there are secret miracles in every day, but if you're so busy at your own pace, your own progress, you'll miss the secret miracles. So the world's opening up again, like Miss Diddy's out again, that you know, with the events are here, how are you hanging on to the revelation of what you needed with the

demand of who you were happening at the same time? You know, it's so interesting. You say that I do a staple event in my company called, it was called Toast to Young Hollywood for years. And this event happens during VIT Awards weekend. And this year, I was really intentional in changing it to toast to Black Hollywood. And it's interesting, you say that because I just actually put a video about, because I was having this conversation with my team and with myself, really, and just saying, I'm a very impactful person and intentional person around, I built my career, my life around that super community base, all these things.

I'm a church girl. I'm going to talk about God no matter where we are going to be at the club. You're going to know about some Jesus. And that's it. But I wanted to be even more intentional during this time, more impactful and more brave in my communication for it. There's a lot of things that changed our world during the time in the pandemic all the you know the things that we have seen And it shaped I think moving forward how brave we really need to be so for me in this new this new world time

It's really about being really unapologetic about the things that matter in this world. Community, families, our relationship with God, and what's going on in our inner city communities, and what's going on in our underserved communities, right? And having an erotry voice and attention behind that. So, you know, my events, my world, the moving forward, it's based all around that even more than it has been. I recently, in February, I actually had a major surgery to remove my fibroids. And I didn't even realize how heavy it's, but it's so, it's like, we all know multiple women that are battling that in dealing with that disease.

And I think it's brown, white, black women. We're the power, right? We're a strong black woman. So it's not even like understood how what you're dealing with it, what you're going through. And it's not so apt to have a surgery as having a conversation in a woman who had it. She was like, you know what you just dealing with and what you're going through. And it's not so apt to have a surgery as having a conversation in a woman who had it. She was like, you know what you just went through?

Yeah. And I was like, well, you know, I've got surgery, I mean, I'm a cover, it's tougher cover is. And then she broke it and I was like, wait, that's the truth. You know, and it was stronger than it hit me like a ton of bricks. And I was, I'm not a cryer and I start crying. I'm like, my almost almost, no, my five or six is five or more. But I've just become even more intentional,

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to sign up for your trial today. You said a buzz word, and I think it's connected not only to the work that you're doing, but also to the way in which you've created boundaries and like our maintaining boundaries and allowing those boundaries to shift relationships. And you said, brave in your communication. And I can only assume that there's a level of authenticity and wanting to be integrity in who you are authentically and every aspect of your life. And yet, to be brave in your communication suggests

that the option to be faking your communication or if people please in your communication is an option as well. How do you, like, what keeps us from being brave in our communication and how do you turn the switch? that's been being brave in our communication and how do you turn the switch? That is probably one of the most powerful questions I've ever been asked. I've been asked a lot of questions. You know, because the brave, it's tough man, because you have to get to a place where you know that God got you for real.

Because I understand when people are brave in their communication, not everyone can get to that place where you know that guy got you for real. Because I understand when people aren't brave in their communication. Not everyone can get to that level, right? There's different, you know, whether you're in a different role at your job, you don't feel that you're the boss or you're in this place or you're a woman and you're in a place where, you know,

there's more power around you and you don't have the power and things like that. And see, for me, some people want to be famous, rich, all of these things. I want it power always. Power was really important to me because I mean, that is where the change happens. And that's why I'm able to be brave in my communication. And know, you know what? Whether, however, this role, I know God got me and I'm where he's supposed to have me and I'm being led by the Holy Spirit to say to you anyway.

And so it's going to have to let the ships fall where they may, but I try to encourage that messaging with people because once we get to that place where we're as close as we can with ourselves and where we are in our life and communicating that, that braigness will start to show up and the more comfortable you get with it, it'll be a layered situation. You'll kind of go, oh, yeah, okay. All right. Yeah, I can do that.

And I think we have to have those talks to ourselves because I don't always feel as confident and being brave in my communication, but I know it's necessary. Yeah. You know, I don't even know if I am going to say this, right? But part of the reason why I love doing this podcast is like, y'all low-key just be giving me therapy because you know, I think that I have struggled

with being brave in my communication, which is why it's only got strategy and plan that I would be a communicator, because that's not my thing, really, right? I'm working on it. Guys got me, guys got me now. What? But I think growing up, I think when you talk about

resetting fears, I think my biggest fear, and I only realized this while we were talking is that like God didn't have me anymore. Because I like made the church mistakes before, because I broke the rules, I thought that I was now separated from the protection, the provision, the grace that other people had access to. So instead of God's got me, it had to be I got me.

Like I gotta have me, I gotta look out for me, I gotta take care of myself, I gotta get up on my two feet. And that helps me up to a certain point, but it no longer serves me now. And so I'm having to reset this notion that I gotta take care of me, and really trusting that like God's gonna handle it.

Like I'm gonna do this, and God's gonna hit, like God, I'm gonna do what you tell me to do, and I'm not gonna finesse my way, I'm not gonna hustle. Like I'm gonna trust that you're gonna take care of I'm not gonna finesse my way. I'm not gonna hustle. No. Like I'm gonna trust that you're gonna take care of. Oh my gosh. And this is like so evident because we had something pop off a couple months ago. And I was like, I'm a release of statement.

I'm a do a video. I'm a do a documentary. I'm gonna clear that. And I was like, do you trust that I've got this or that you're gonna handle it? Cause you're trying to protect what I built. So either you built it or I built it. And if I built it, it can't come down. And if you built it, it needs to come down.

So either way, you're going to be okay. And so I just been sitting here on Do Not To Sturt Mode, just letting guy got me. You have to say it so many bars. It's just one paragraph. I'm over here about the run around the church because that is something I had to learn in my career as well, where much is given, much is required.

We say all these things, but it's like, we don't really understand what that means. When you get to a certain level, starting placing, you're really, really trying to go for it. There's gonna, the opposition, that's necessary. It's gonna happen. There's nothing we can do about that. It's coming, and it's gonna keep coming. And I've been at so many places in my career, it's saying, boys. There's nothing we can do about that. It's coming. And it's going to keep coming.

And I've been in so many places in my career, it's saying boys, you're saying like, oh, y'all want me to, okay, let me go ahead and let me go ahead and read. It's clearly we need to address this. And God has that, one of the toughest things I've got all the other ones, I would friends, like undeniable betrayal, like what just happened here, type of thing, you know?

And I proud, God got me to gather. You're not gonna say anything. Then that's, that's so unlikable. But you mean, right? When it's so unlikable, they clearly want me to say something. This is the time for me to say something. If there was any, they're like, you're gonna not say anything.

And I think that's that God got me. It's not a, we just say words and buzz words and things and people just catch it and they don't understand what it is to have to be tested and to live in that. That's different. That test to have to really, anything you face and you can address it. Like I always tell people the most important thing

that I learned in life and in my relationship or daughter relationship in general with people and myself is to be meek. And that's having your power under control because everybody wants this, they don't understand what comes with it. So the times where I could have just like you're saying, and I did it, that's what God honored.

And I seen it. That's what God honored. And I seen it. That's what he honored. You know, that's what he said, good. So you're finally learning my child. I'm finally learning. This struggle though, that's when the whole let go and let God think like people like, how do I let go?

It's really trust. It's really trust that I don't have to defend myself. So now what you're telling me in this season of my life, Lord, is that like, I need to be afraid of me having me, of me taking care of it, of me having the plan, of me having the strategy and the protection. Like that needs to be my biggest fear, that I need to protect my heart,

that I need to make sure people don't get over on me. And when we take that posture of defense, we do, we are successful at keeping people away, but we don't score any points. We don't grow. That's good. We don't move into a place of progress, and we don't get to understand for ourselves

the faithfulness of God. We learn the faithfulness of our insecurities. We know the faithfulness that don't test me, and if you do test me, you'll see me, but we don't learn what it means to really just be safe and to trust. And I think that robs us on a lot of levels. Because now I don't trust that I'm safe anywhere.

Because I didn't learn to first be safe with the person who created me and this life that I'm living in. You're speaking to something that's so deep. I don't even even you're going to You're prophetic right now because you know because you know what that speaks to Tuesday that speaks to like say Families that have dysfunction in them right and the people that you think are supposed to have you right?

So you're your parents essentially you're siblings because it's taught This is you belong to them. Yeah. So the speak. And so they're supposed to protect you. This is our first encounter of humans, as our parents and our siblings. And what happens when they don't? Yeah. So you take, but, but, but, but what you're saying is so profound because we're not remembering that we were actually created by God. So that's what's supposed to happen. And that's why he says, you know, I'll be your father and I'll be saying that we don't even understand what that means

because our trauma drives us. You know what I'm saying? Because we're expecting these people to protect us. But really all we needed is to know that God has us. Okay, so I hate to interrupt all of this good conversation, but I wanted you to know that I wanna talk to you too. I wanna hear your story, I wanna hear your thoughts and opinions, you can send me your application,

your video to be a co-host to podcastatwomenevolved.com. Let me know what it is you wanna talk about, why it's important to you that you be on the podcast. Maybe you like girl, I am not going to be on anybody's podcast. I don't do talking to people. First of all, this is a sign, overcome yourself. But if not, you can send me an advice question. Podcast at womanevolved.com.

Okay, let's get back to the podcast. So, okay, so you're on the separation journey of what your trauma created versus what your divinity is calling you towards because I know the language. I know the language. It's mine. And it does require a pace so that you can identify, was that action trauma, were those words trauma, am I moving divinely?

And there's a sacred space within your being that you must fully embody to really take ownership of this work. This work you have to see it as important, you have to see it as necessary so that you can really be good ground and good soil. And so I'm wondering like Azure on that journey of separation and extraction really, extracting. Oh my gosh, I'm thinking we've got this,

I've got all these different buzzwords in my head, but we're talking about distilling and one of our courses and it's like distilling all of the impurities to get it to its purest form. And I feel like that's what I'm doing for myself. I just want to be pure, I don't want to be bitter, I don't want to be in pain, I don't have time to strategize against you, because I could and I could bring you to be in pain like I don't have time to strategize against you because I could and I could

Bring you to them. I You know like I don't want to find out where you work and call up there like I don't want to have to do all of these things But it's in me to do and so now I'm like trying to be different. I'm trying. So hard. I'm trying. Yes. But there's a purity. I think there's a place of purity that we're coming to.

And there's beauty and vulnerability in that purity, but it attracts pure. And I think that's how we keep our circles pure. Are you, and my writer? You on that extraction to steal? No, I could you're only in put you're only in whatever another number could be percent. Because what also we have to learn during that extraction and in that journey of that, right? The things that we are extracting, you have to know that those things are going to hurt too. that we are extracting, you have to know that those things are gonna hurt too. Yeah.

Because it's what we've been married to, right? Like, we've been married and it's funny you say that was on the floor. I was calling my dad's sister earlier on my drive into a meeting I had to do. And I was like, I'm just talking about you know, she asked about something. I said, you know what, Terry, I only care about being healthy across the board. And that person is not healthy for me. So no, and you have to, the trauma that you were married to

when you're doing that extraction, you now, like you're saying, when you have to embody this new work and really own that work that you've done, you have to be married to that. And that has to be very almost black and white. No, that comes that boundary, that no word, that no God bless you tonight.

Yeah, have a good one. That's not for me. You know, and you know, I think we talk about these new levels and becoming this new person, but we don't talk about the heartbreak that happens as a result of having to let those people go, as a result of having to let those old ways and those old habits go because they're what we know.

Yeah. You know, I've had to deal with the fact recently, we're here now so we might as well just make a therapy. The heartbreak of it. So I think because my fear was rejection and people not receiving me and accepting me, I found a way to, I would call it sugar coating truth so that people would still receive the truth

but not reject me in the process. Yeah. And it's called sugar coating if you want to sugar coat it, but it's actually manipulation because you are creating a picture that you want them to see instead of them fully understanding the truth of what you're trying to say. And so I had a situation where I needed to tell someone that they couldn't come with me somewhere that it just wasn't a good. It's just not right now. Like we need space, you need this, I need that. And I tried to play it like, you know,

like I just want to make sure, because I got a few comments and I got some feedback, you know, I just want to protect you. And I showed it to my husband and he was like, yeah, and I was like, but she got, but she not coming. Like we got to the finished product and he was like, but that's not the truth. You know, you didn't tell the truth.

And I was like, it was a truth. You know, now I got to defend. I got to defend. See, what we say, true, right? Because the truth is she not coming. I thought it's all because we got to the truth. The truth is five. But living in that work is allowing myself to see my own ways and to see how I would rather

protect this person's image of me than to make them feel rejected or to have rejection from them. And so I went back and I sent this voice memo and I said at the end of the day, I kind of knew months ago that I wasn't going to do this because of X, Y, and Z. And to really just let the humility, to let the fallout, to let the attitudes, to let whatever Z. And to really just let the humility to let the fallout,

to let the attitudes, to let whatever breaking is going to be happen, so that there's space for this new you to live. Like, you got to create space for this version of you that tells the truth, for this version of you that creates the boundaries, for the version of you that takes the chance on what's right and may be wrong in the future,

but you're willing to apologize like you got to create space for that. And so I'm learning to create space. And it is, it's humbling and heartbreaking to see yourself, to allow other people to change the way that they see you, all for the sake of being authentic, it's rough. It's rough and you have to also know

that most people aren't doing that work. So it's a bit lonely. Not from a negative connotation, but from a, maybe there's a better word that I could find, but it's a space that you may not experience with everyone. And sometimes they experience it later because then they'll do their work later. And they'll be honest and authentic about their,

what they, the part that they play. And sometimes that may never come. And I think that I would start to learn that that same authentic place that you're saying and to say, hey, you know what, actually this is what's going on, right? And this is why it's not okay or not healthy for me. And understanding that God still got me.

So even if I lose that person or whatever that case may be, I can't always protect the hurt behind that moment. Yeah. I have to know that I did it for, like you're saying, to make space for this better version of myself and the better versions of people that are going to take space in my life. You know? Yeah, it's so funny.

PT was like, sometimes you just got to grab you and say something. And I was like, but when you all say grab you and that, there's a level of like, it's a level of sweat connected to it. And this feels like not grabbing you and this. This feels like you kick it. It's not grabbed. It does. I didn't plan that today.

No, I didn't want to do that. That's not for me. But you know, we're grabbing us out here at the woman you bought, pirate. You're in. I'm with it. Now a word from our sponsor, BetterHelp. Earlier this year, I began seeing a

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our lives like our physical well-being, finances and relationships. Mental health is important. Better health has made it more affordable than in-person sessions. Get matched in under 48 hours and start chatting with your Better Health therapist via phone, video or live chat, so you don't have to see anyone on camera. Mental wellness is just one click away with better help online therapy. Okay, Ms. Ditty, we have an advice question and I can't wait to hear your perspective on it. Says, hey, Pastor Sarah, I am 19 years old.

It has always been a dream of mine to be a fashion designer. I have always felt God telling me to start a clothing line from childhood. As I started to get older, I started experiencing different things like teachers questioning my creativity, like of resources, and feelings that my dream was too big

for me, or that I was not good enough to handle such a dream, which caused my dream to die. For three years my dream of starting a fashion line was dead until this year when the Lord sent me an amazing community of sisters and mentors to resurrect that dream. I started dreaming big again and it's been amazing so far. My question is how do I keep my dream alive while going through trials and tribulations? I believe that you have to know that there will be trials and tribulations. That way you don't fall apart when they come. I believe in being action-based, progressive-minded, and in solution-based. So when things happen, you have two ways that you can look at something, right?

You can go straight to the dark side, fall in a pit of, oh, I mean, you can't believe, oh, I got to. Versus, okay, this happens. Okay, let me take a moment, that happened. Now, how do I solve this? And I've kind of looked at hurdles as an opportunity for me to figure something out. Yeah.

And what, and what, and what, what do I need to figure out about myself in this moment as well? And what's the next moment? You know, I'm the friend that everyone is like, you didn't tell me you were going to go look at that. Well, you know, because let's just, how do we get, how do we solve this? And I think that while you're going for your dream and all these things, the most important thing is to become strong minded, build up your mind and every aspect of your life.

We don't understand how important it is. This right here. Like, can you imagine that the Almighty God, like that we serve, said that can do anything in this world? You know the one thing he said, he cannot change or tap is your mind, your will. So if he said, this is the most powerful thing, that like, we don't even understand what's up here. God said, I cannot touch your will. You can move the whole mountain, the stars, the sky, and the

water. Okay. You can't take our mind. So if we learn to be to exercise and practice being mentally strong. However, that shows up for you in your life. I think that will tackle life better. Because life is going to happen. It's going to happen to all of us, but ever journey, I can go work out Walmart tomorrow. Still things are going to happen that are unpredictable

and hurtful and things like that. But it's the way we are POV and the way we look at things and to be really strong-minded and action-based. So if I was telling that young 19 year old girl, I have sisters around her, A's like, listen, get up here, get this strong, because life's going to happen. It's going to happen to you. So if you are exercising now and getting in a good space there you'll be okay through life, you know That makes so much sense. There's a separation that I hear you saying is exactly what I was kind of echoing between like your dream and you And I think that it's really important to see that separation because your dream is an entity in itself

But you are the one who's wanna manifest that dream into reality. So the trials and tribulations aren't on the dream, it's on you. So who do you need to become in order to make sure that you know that they are coming and that you can have a defense against them? Because when I look back on what I would have called

a trial and tribulation and building my businesses, I would have learned, those were actually lessons. Like I learned about California hiring laws because I those were actually lessons. Like I learned about California hiring laws because I went through some lessons. Like I learned about taxes because I went through some lessons. We were not. Yeah. Lessons.

No, that's a real thing. It is. It's a real thing. And it's a real lesson. It is a real lesson. And it ain't nothing like learning that lesson through a letter coming certified. Make sure you sign the fact that you got this lesson.

Okay, it's a thing. But like now that I look back on it, I'm like, that really wasn't a trial. That was a lesson. Now the trials have come up against me with using my insecurities against me, me feeling inadequate. And that's something that's gonna exist

whether the dream is in manifestation or not. So like separating those two is the only way that you're gonna really be able to understand the business going, I'm gonna fail at this. Like no matter how good my dream is, I'm gonna mess up the money, I'm not gonna make profit, I'm gonna charge too much, the quality's not gonna be good, the fabric's not gonna be great.

Like I'm gonna jack this part of it up, but they will be less since and I will do better next time. And the trials will attack my ability to manifest the dream only if I let it, which I think is why what she said is so powerful. And I commend that young sister for writing in because that's how you invest in yourself, right? Research in trying to figure out the information and listening to stories that can really help you kind of navigate through some things. So the more you, that's a piece of investment in yourself, you know, writing into a woman evolve, you know, you know,

studying your word when, you know, I mean, I love all of your preachings. They're all of them, you know, and they're so impactful and that's a part of investing in yourself is going to go research that. So, you know, I pray abundance over that young sister and as she continues on, but that she understands that life is real. And the sooner you take a serious, the further you go. Well, there's no way that I have Miss City on the podcast and don't ask for your business advice or business tips. So maybe like maybe it's targeted towards this woman and the rest of us can just ear hustle

and take notes. Like what are the top three business tips that you would give an entrepreneur? This sounds so cliche, but I promise you Sarah's not do good business. I mean, just do good business across the board. There's pieces and contracts that say, in good faith, you know, that's literally in all contracts and people don't understand, you know, the severity of that, just do good business. And be honest about where you are in your business. There's, it's funny, I was just that clip

that's going viral that PT said you know the power of no because yes is expensive almost through the phone to him because that's what people don't understand it took me years to understand and a business especially as entrepreneur that you know while I'm so grateful to God that I don't even have to look for business everyone comes to me I'm so great I'm I've. I've never taken that for granted. So a piece of it I always thought I need to take on everything. Everything. Oh, I mean, I gotta know I can't.

Yeah. Because I'm gonna drop the ball somewhere if I, if I, and not intentional or focused on what I have in front of me already. One thing that I will say that is undervalued and not under, grinds my ears, timeliness. Being on time, it seems like a simple, practical thing. It's not.

If you're supposed to be somewhere in 11, get there at 10.45 because people remember that. And they remember when you lay. And, you know, as a young black woman to a business, it was always really important for me that I showed up, right? And that I broke any type of stereotypes or or mindsets because I've been fortunate to do business with a lot of high in people for a very long time. So the way I showed up was very important to me, you know, timeliness, doing good business, being direct as possible, right? Listening, people don't listen to business because they think they just know everything.

Now yeah, I'm an expert at what I do, but there's no reason for me to go sit down, take a meeting with a potential client or a person. It's not listen to what they think. People want to talk about what they can do. It's like, girl, be quiet. Listen to what this person said, baby. Like, what are you doing all that, you know? And that's something that I definitely practice in business as well.

Also, knowing your strong points and your weak points, because everyone has them, and that's how you hire your team. What you're strong at, continue to get stronger at, and what you're weak at, find someone that is strong at that and bring you in. Yeah.

And bring you in. And don't be afraid to spend money. For me, I'm in marketing, so spending money is important. I have to spend money to make money if we don't talk about in marketing. So spending money is important. I have to spend money to make money if we don't talk about some coin. We have to. It's just no way around it.

The beautiful set that you're sitting on, you don't just have a drop-down green screen back there. And I'll just smack it. Yeah, that's a way. Yeah, you floating in the clouds with the green screws. Why are you doing that? But there's real true intention and love put into your set and how you have presented yourself.

And that's what people don't see and look at the behind the scenes of that, but that's really, really important in business. And you can tell across the board and your business there that there's a tent across the board. That shows up, whether you, I know that's intentional for you to be intentional, but I'm telling you as an expert, it shows up.

And it's beautiful to see. It's beautiful to see. It really is. That bless my little heart, because the honey, when I tell my team, we just don't do something to see what happens. See what I'm the same way. Oh my God, the same way, my team,

but looking, they all got the same look like. Exactly, because that's how they're like. All right. We're going to dip our toe in the water. And then they're like, but you just push this into the pool. And I'm like, that's the same thing. Yes, you're the same thing. Right?

Dip your toe in the pool. You guys know. Oh, here we are. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Miss Diddy, you're good stuff. You are beyond great stuff.

And thank you. I want to say, you know, thank you. Thank you for who you are, what you are, what you represent, and what you've brought to the culture and to the kingdom. And coincident, it's not an easy place to exist. It's easy because you're being yourself, but it's much to myself. Yeah, I technically work at entertainment, right?

But I'm very vocal and strategic about my relationship with God and saying that because that's important. And so I just wanna tell you, thank you because you know your work matters and you'll hear time and time again but I want you to sit in that. I want you to sit in that. So thank you for answering the call.

You know what I mean? Thank you. And it's really one of the most important things for me to sit here and to be speaking to you a really full circle moment because I want to be right in my career without PT 100% I wouldn't have quit my job. I wouldn't have I wouldn't have understood the depth of worship without being one of his early on sheet and that is what has protected me in life. That is what has led me to where I am and understanding that. You know, and it was a special time during that time

we was in church four five days a week. I mean, they are sweat suits at all to snob, snob and tears, you know, and it births everything in me and where I am now. So this moment is very, very important. I want you to know that from my heart. Thank you. Thank you.

You're welcome. I can't wait to share that with PT. Because he talks about all his little babies from to hunger. Yes, yes, yes. That is my brother. He is, yeah, that time, it's even too emotional to talk about, because there's no way I would be where I am right now

and what I'm doing without him and without his leadership and his prophetic work, no way. No way. I can't wait to tell him that. I know it's gonna bless him, it's gonna be timely. Thank you. Yeah, thank you. We gotta do this in person, you know?

One day, I was like, I was going for a hug. It's over the ice. It's not working. It knows you. And we are gonna do the same person. I look forward to that. Take care. Thank you.

Bye. Miss Diddy, you are the truth, a treasure. I'm so glad that we finally got a chance to link up. I feel peace after being in your presence. Thank you so much for breaking away from your schedule to share your wisdom and your light with us. If this episode blessed, you run on over to the socials and just tell Miss Diddy thank you for her honesty, her transparency authenticity also listen if you like you know what I got a little light that needs to shine

I want to see it send me an email at podcast at woman evolve.com with a one to two minute video about being my next co-host or you can just send an advice question. You know me, I'll see you next week. you