Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - The Crown Connected to the Man w/ J. Bolin

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Chile, W.E. are well versed in applying pressure. ‘Cause the enemy and all his schemes can get it! But what happens when life succeeds at knocking us to the ground? Is it possible to thrive under such pressure? AND IS—so, chin up, chest out, and crown on! This week, SJR linked up with celebrity fashion stylist, creative director, and entrepreneur J. Bolin, who revealed how to reign while reinventing himself one power move at a time! The two showcased the toxicity of grind culture, the downsides of entrepreneurship, and the hilarious fashion mistakes of their past. Nonetheless, it’s a “breakup” heard round the world that takes the prize in today’s episode! Delegation, when was your last checkup? Find a local doctor or dentist by visiting Zocdoc.com/WomanEvolve. Tell ‘em W.E. sent you!

God can't bless you for tend to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a two-unit boundary. What? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God-party program that their all things, all things, all things. Child. If you've ever taken a trip and been super tired, so tired that the moment you got into your airplane seat, you fell asleep and then woke up and realized you were already in the air,

then you might know a little bit about how fast life can change and before you know it, you're higher than you ever thought was possible and in that moment you have an option. You can choose to feel pressure, stress and look for the nearest place to land or you can take a deep breath and try to find the lesson in the elevation. That's what happens when we start raining under pressure. It's when we make a decision to say, hey, I'm up here now. I'm going to keep this crown, but I'm also going to learn the lessons connected

to this pressure. It's like the moment when you realize, like, hey, I'm in this relationship, and this relationship is going to require that I take inventory of some of my toxic behaviors. Do I let the relationship go or do I find a way to reign under pressure? I'm building this family, I'm building this business, I'm here now, what do I do? This desire for us to reign under pressure is our ability to tap into what the Holy

Spirit is saying in any given moment. I have a friend here with me who knows all about raining under pressure. He has seen his life change and evolve in a way that I don't even think that he could have calculated. Though he recognized he was putting in the work, it's a different thing to look up and see that the work actually worked.

And so my friend, stylish J. Bolin, I call him Jason Bolin, Jimmy Mama call, Jason, I'm called Jason. A stylish J. Bolin is one of my great friends. He is someone who I admire, someone who I am inspired by his creativity and innovation. Has already been all up and down your timeline, but his heart, his passion, the vulnerability behind being an entrepreneur and a family man is something that you may not

have had access to. So today, let's get ready to go a little bit deeper and understand the crown connected to the man, stylish J. Bolton. Friend. Friend. Yeah. I have a question for you. How has your definition of pressure changed over the last 10 years? What did you use to think was high pressure versus what you think is high pressure now?

I think it's completely different. I will say I put like if there was a higher dose of medicine that I should be taking right now it's definitely staying in my word a lot more than what I used to like the I think there's like a baby word that I was in and then kind of in and out the Bible or in and out the Vols should I end up my time of God. But now with the pressure of of life, like you got to like literally stop and take out time to be intentional about, you know, your day and about life and about your thoughts and gaining your thoughts. I don't know if I had as many thoughts running through my head as much as they're running through now. Yeah. Like, denim is going on, denim is 15 now. And now I have a three year old. Yeah.

So even what I'm, I'm the pressure of having children and being able to communicate with a three year old, and then also trying to communicate and learn the language of a 15 year old, I've never been here before. It's different. It's different. It's real different. And 18 years of the wife. Right. And we've never been here before. Yeah. So all of us pressure.

Okay. So do you think that it is more pressure? Because you share your story all the time. Do you think that it's more pressure grinding and trying to accomplish something or having achieved success and trying to determine what does growth look like from a place of success while still knowing that there's more that you want to accomplish. Like, do you understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, I feel you. I feel you. I think that the grinding hustle becomes really old or just over time. It starts to become played out and you start to realize that you're like in this rat race of really getting nowhere. You know what I mean? Because you can have money one day and money's out the next day and that's really what a lot of us are hustling grinding for.

It's money. You know what I mean? A little bit of fame, a little bit of money, a little bit of no my name. But at the end of the day, I think that for myself, I have learned that get in and just get in the cycle of life because one minute you'll have it the next minute you won't. One minute you'll be in one zone with God and whatever place he has you in, whatever career path. Like I was literally doing fashion style and then I first started out and now things have completely opened up, you know, from television to

creative direction and all these different journeys now are completely different from when they were then. And that grinding hustle had been in the fashion industry in the entrepreneur and the beginning is just like go and go and go and go and go and going. And now I have to learn how to go, stop, build, go, stop, build, the balance of that and creating an infrastructure that really worked because I felt like I reached this peak of success at one time. I thought like, honestly, going to pandemic.

Money was like really good. Things were going really good. Business had popped off. I was able to bring in and you know, like hire crazy amount of people. And things were thriving. After the pandemic, we took a really big hit with the company and not really normed

which way things should go. And I really believe that it was because I was on the grind so much and just kind of like in this fast pace, like moving world, let me make the money, let me get on my grind, let me get to this place and I got to this place and I got what I thought is what I needed and then it was, um, it wasn And so now I have the opportunity to really stand back and see in this season, where do I want to build? How fast do I want to move? How fast do I want to grow? And I think God for being able to strip and take all those things away from me

because it kept me on the grind because it felt like that good place I was in felt like if I continued the cycle of what I was doing, would help me to maintain what I actually had, which felt like a really good place to be in. But now I'm at a place where I don't have that anymore and it's at a place where now I can really stand back and say how fast I really wanna grind,

how many days of the week do I really wanna be going to my family, how much time that really wanna invest into business, how much time I really wanna be going to my family? How much time do I really wanna invest into business? How much time do I really wanna invest into other things in life? And it helps me to balance things out. I never knew that I could get to a place where I could really see the light of day again

on what my future can look like. And me being able to take control of what God lets me be in control of. Right. You know what I mean? Like obviously he has this plan and we never know what that thing is gonna be sometimes but I do have some vision of what it's gonna be like but now I know how to handle that vision.

So you're reinventing yourself? I am reinventing myself. Mm. That's why we're on a couch right now. Right, look at that. That's why we're on a couch right now. Right, look at that. That's why we're on a couch right now. This is a really interesting thing. I know reinventing myself.

And I never, I never thought about it being a reinventian, but it really is, I think I have the capacity and I have, I have permission from God to really like reinvent myself. And I think the permission from God is God saying, you're ready. Wow. saying, you're ready. Wow. Like, now you're ready. Now you're ready for what I really have for you. And in the beginning, like I said, I was just on the on the ground on the move, go on five, six days

out of the week and just thought that maybe that one day at home would be just enough for me to come in, be daddy, be husband, and be all those things. And it's kind of like, I was like, you got to slow down, bro. You can't just keep being on the grime, being on the go, and then supplying family with financial things and not necessarily just being there. And so now, I'm in a place now, I'm like, okay, cool, I can be in my son's soccer game, I can be in his basketball game, I can be at Chloe recitals, whatever it is, I can be with my wife, we go out on dates.

We can do all these things, but I would have never done that if all those things had not been stripped away. So that's really funny because though you are in the fashion industry and you obviously do a lot of work with women, you still have this one this going somewhere like a patriarchal perspective on parenting and that as long as you were providing,

then there was enough presence in that once or twice a week to take care of everything else. But you're expanding your perspective to include a dynamic of connection that's outside of provision. And so I'm wondering, does the requirement to be more emotionally present, create discomfort for you, or does it come easy? You already noticed. We've had this conversation before about my level of giving any motion.

Yeah. I think as a child, I was brought up in a way of like, emotion doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, boy, get out here and get it done. Yeah. Nobody owes you anything. If you need something, you know exactly who to come

and ask for that particular thing. So changing my mindset and being able to communicate and open up and talk about the way that I feel, like I allow my children to see my flaws. I let the world see my flaws initially like in the entrepreneur world. Like I'm very transparent about like when things are good, when things are bad, but I never really let my children in like that. And most of the time I never let my wife knew a lot of the things I never let her know

everything. And so now that I'm able to go home and talk about my insecurities, I talk about when I had a bad day, and not go home and feel like I have to be successful in my audience eyes and be successful at home. When I go home, I can be just as vulnerable and really take my hat off and take my shoes off and lay in the bed and talk to my kids

and talk to my wife about what the day was like and then also talk about what my insecurities are and what my failures were what I want to see better and then disconnect from all that. I only want to talk about successes at home all the time. Sometimes I just want to be at the house with family and just chilling. But we don't have to talk about anything. No goals. Just being good. Right, just being. Okay, so you and I have been working together almost 10 years. Yeah, my God.

Okay, well, say, we'll join you through. We'll join you vocal cord when you do that. Sorry, my fault. I'm sorry. We'll put a little join you vocal cord when you talk about me. We'll put a little stack on it, man. It's weird though, because we definitely have

a working relationship. That is like up and up on the books. Your team talked to my team, we get these invoices paid. The hookups are not hooking up, the things are not happening. But it's very black and white. I think we've done a good job separating professional from personal. And yet we do done a good job separating professional from personal. And yet we do have a friendship dynamic like our kids hang out. We have become really good friends.

What do you think you attribute the ability to have a friendship and a professional relationship with me while keeping respect and honor for both needs that those relationships require. Well, you know, that took some work. It did. It did, it really did. It took some work and I think it was worth the work. Mm-hmm.

Because now look at it, now we do have children that are able to hang out and understand both of our world. Yeah. You know what I mean? And then our go into our children that are able to hang out and understand both of our world. You know what I mean? And then our go into our children that are just like being kids and just loving each other in general and hanging out. And I know that we share same morals and values for how we like to like raise our kids

and what we expect of our kids. I told our vand into kids yet they didn't put one night and I went to Uncle Moe. Like, where's your mom? Where's your dad? Do we need to call anybody? And I think that over the years, you and I working together,

I, what I do love is that you taught me how to really develop healthy boundaries, but boundaries that didn't make me feel unwanted. Yeah, like it wasn't. didn't build a wall and sometimes I think people get it misconstrued on what's a wall and then what's actually boundaries. Like you still allow me to be a part of your world and in your personal world, but only if I was willing to do the work of making sure that I abide and buy those boundaries

and you abide it by my boundaries. Like when I came in, I didn't learn how to have boundaries and then you as a friend was like, yo, I respect your boundaries. I'm not just gonna be hitting you up and calling you, you know, whenever I want to, like I have boundaries to them. We also have our friendship where we're just like, okay, we do have some boundaries, but when I need you,

I need your friends. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a wreck right now. Can you help me, y'all? Like, would say something positive to me. Yeah. I have nobody else to call. And I think that that's the beautiful thing

about friendship is that obviously, there's a lot less boundaries than they are when it comes to work. I think work just, you know, you develop whatever kind of boundary you wanna put in place that's needed. And you help me out a lot with that. I'll learn that from you. And then let's just go back to the past,

you know, where I remember when you fired me. We broke up. You know, check. We broke up. We broke up. We broke up. We broke up. Jay and I have a breakup.

It was harder for me. It was harder for me. I think it was harder for me. I can't speak for you, but what I will say is that I think it was probably one of the most saddest moments in my entire life, actually, not even just career, but my life because I knew that there was a divine connection there, but I was too

immature to handle what was actually in front of me. Well, okay, so. It's going to go deeper. Is it? Yeah, but I think, I mean, I mean, we just, we're going to be real, we're going to be real because we're, we're, I got to tell you how I was raining under the pressure. And now how I can rain under the pressure. Like now I can take the pressure of being told the truth

and you can take the pressure of being told the truth and there's no offense to it. There is pure love behind it. There's pure love behind it. There's pure heart behind it. I mean, let's just be real like there are moments where you tell me that addresses ugly. Yeah. And I have to take it. You know what I mean, let's just be real like there are moments where you tell me that addresses ugly. Yeah.

And I have to take it. You know what I mean, that's not easy. But you don't take it because I still end up in the ugly dress. So let's keep it 100. Like you don't take it. And that's what I'm trying to figure it out. It's like, you don't take it.

You continue to put things on me. Do you want it? So I thought we was going back, but now we in now. I thought we were in the middle of the video. Yeah, let's, mm-hmm. Okay, so we'll go back a little bit. So when you did say, Jay, I think it's time for you and I to not work together.

It hit me in a place because I didn't know how to handle it because I thought that what seemed to be, like, you know, when you see like Oprah, you see Oprah has been with her stylist forever beyond saying Ty had been together. So you see these relationships and that's all you see in my industry. The goal is to find your muse and someone that you can dress and slay and make them look good and you build this relationship with them. And I knew that there was another relationship with them like outside of that. Like I saw Ty and BB friends.

Yeah. And I was like, I long for having that. But I wasn't mature enough to handle the both of them. Obviously, like my thing mature, I was not mature in it at all. I knew how to give myself, but there were no boundaries in place. You know what I mean?

I'm saying you're invoicing two weeks. Like, no, you have to send, you have to do business when business needs to be done, and you have to be a friend when it's time to show up and be a friend. If you have ever considered joining the Waumaniwaal Book Club, I don't think that there is a month that is more important to join than the month of May. For the month of May we are going to be

exploring the soul of shame. If you are plagued with negative messages that constantly live in your mind and you think to yourself, why can't I just get it together? Why can't I believe in myself? Why can't I activate what I believe is God's promise connected to my life? If you feel like you are standing in the way of you, I want to take a journey with you through the soul of shame. This book is one of the most impactful books that I have ever read. I've dealt with shame. It's been one of my biggest struggles, but also one of the greatest things that I've been able to overcome. Join me and the members of the Waman Evolve Book Club as we take you from being restricted

to limitless, joined by April 10th so that you do not miss any discussion, any tools, any tips that we have for you. The soul of shame is going to be destroyed so that you can be all that God has called you to be destroyed so that you can be all that God has called you to be. Okay, so yeah, that I mean we struggled because I, but I, the way that my mind works is I do like clear rules and clear boundaries. So I understand like this is what I can expect financially. This is what I can expect communication wise. I want to know what I'm getting when I'm getting used. And whatever it is, just tell me what it is.

But when there's a lot of changing and switching up, I think that it makes me feel unsafe and unpredictable and I like stability. But I will say that I think part of the reason why we ended up having our breakup is, I think it was less about that and more about the fact that I think we were both in honestly like catalyst moments for our destiny. And I think that had we not had separation at that catalyst moment that what was a divine

connection would have become codependency. Oh, wow. You are absolutely correct, because that's just be real. I'm gonna keep it 100 on the table. I had started to depend my career on you. Yeah. But I think likewise, though, because when I first started, we were doing a book tour and going to wave during announcements

at other people's churches. There was no preaching, there was no talking, we weren't talking to other book deals, there was no woman evolve. And so I think we were trying to make the best of the moment because we were not sure there would be other moments. And I think that as I started speaking, I started feeling like, I don't know how much of this

is actually me being impactful as a speaker or me just looking good when I speak. So I didn't trust that I had anything outside of just looking good when I speak. And I think that it started to feel like, if I don't work with Jay, then I can't speak. If Jay doesn't dress me, then I don't have anything to say.

And I think that I needed the separation of girl. And there were some major misses. Like I could pull up some new videos. But where, don't go that far back, okay? But where did you find that we, like you were able to come back and communicate, because you didn't communicate that, and I didn't communicate that. So where did you find the communication

when the circle came back around? To reengage. Well, to reengage and to be able to communicate boundaries, what you do like, what you don't like because I would have never known the way that you actually felt in that moment. I never knew that you felt that maybe this is too much, maybe I'm not doing, you know,

maybe this is not as impactful as we think it is, maybe it's more vain than we think it is. Well, I think that's where I kind of came to the place where like we wanna look dope, we wanna look fly, but I don't wanna look like I'm performing or that I have one like a costume. Yeah. Okay, now you write, there were some moments that were. Which ones? I can think of one. Um, okay. Now you right. There were some moments that were which ones.

Mm hmm. I can think of one. Oh my God. I know one time I had put you in so much African print. Was it with the headwrap? I had. I'm talking about a mean headwrap. Big old skirt. Big skirt. Turtle neck. Turtle neck. whatever I could, I was like, she's flying, she's saved, and I want her in every print that I can put her in. I think that if I could look back at our worst jump off the bridge moment together, moment. Well, I got two of them.

So one, I can't really, I can't really hardly talk about right now. Her sleep and talk about it right now. Which one? Which one was for you? It can't be in the past three years before you. No, no, no, no, I'm talking like twenty fifteen maybe yeah. There's one where my hair was up in this thing and there was a purple scarf around. Oh my God I thought that was so cute. I didn't know that was one of the bad ones. I

Didn't know that was one of the bad ones. I thought that was actually one of the good ones your hair was wrapped up and pulled up That nice bun was to use going through your natural phases to then wait a minute Wait a minute don't have the ancestors. Don't we will not take any slander in the ancestors. You was going through a natural moment and I was like, okay, cool. She want to be natural with them. Black pride. You put the dish up.

Right. And then I think at that time, honestly, I think that you were in Los Angeles. Yes. And so this is after we kind of started at working together a little bit more. No, I think this was right before I'm break. And you were in Los Angeles and living your best life. Which one are you talking about?

Well, no, so the one that I'm talking about was, and forgive me, I put you in this really short dress in Atlanta, Georgia. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it wasn't that it was bad. I was not conscious about who I was dressing in the actual moment.

I just said, this is fashon. This is fashion and let's make it happen and I just had no conscious to what I was really. It was really I never think about that but you know where we was really tripping. Was the Trumpet Awards with that black crocodile. Oh my god I'm talking about crocodile dandelion. Okay listen I had you dressed on a crocodile dress that was snatched up. It was cut past the bus. It was cut past the bus. It wasn't like a little peekaboo. Okay, but that I think also we have to speak to that as well,

because I do think that people here, you know, pushing the boundaries and pushing the envelope in this market and representing God and doing what we do. And at the same time, like knowing when to pull back and when it's not about you. Yeah. You know what I mean? When is it dope and when do you need to like,

like, like, just relax just a little bit? And I think that those are the moments where you're dressing and you're like, I know this gonna make the mad, but I'm aware it anyway. Like you probably need to pull that back. You probably need to pull back. Because you're doing it with this spirit of of forget them when you put it on versus I really

like this. I know some people may not enjoy it, but I really like it versus dressing to say like, Hey, I'm not going to fit in your box. Expect the unexpected for me. And you probably going to be pissed when I put something on, but you're going to get over it. I think that that's when you've crossed into a line of your dressing to a fend versus dressing to be authentic and that occasionally causes a fend. Yeah, it does. And I've had quite a history of a fend. Oh yeah, you do.

And not just with me, just with plenty of people. Just with plenty of people in the Christian market and me just doing it and not necessarily knowing and making some people just got something to say about everything. But then there was some things that I knew that I looked back at it now and I'm like, you was wrong, you was dead wrong.

You could have done a little different. I should have had you covered up. I should have gave you like a little scar for some put on your neck for that. For the little trumpet thing. Yeah, because I had you all low and tied up and boosted the aid and pushed up all over. That's one that drug dealer came in me.

Remember that's how you about that? He was like the CEO of some record label who had just got out of prison. And he was like, I gotta have your number. And this was like, look what I had drawing. Drawing. Drawing goes to you. Lord, my god, Torrey. This was pre-torray.

And I was like, what's a drug, like what's a little drug like what's a drug like what's a little drug deal? It's fine I cannot I think I for a toy right coming along. Oh me too me too cuz I also remember dressing you for your first date Do you remember that and I do remember dressing you for and like probably the whole Situation the whole transition that was a time. That was a real good time. We're both nodding right now, like, how far do you really wanna go?

Yeah. No, but this is really, I think that the real conversation here, Sarah, is that I have to say, as a big brother, slash, like friend, all of the above, I think you played a role as a big brother slash like friend, all of the above, I think you played a role as a big sister in my life and it helped me to be able to walk away

and go and do the work outside of you being there and learn how to do business. I mean, you grew up in business. You know what I mean? Like your world, you come from a world of being able to do an invoice and know how to set boundaries. I came from a family of, you know, you go to work and you get the job done. And my parents taught me excellence too, but there was just certain business things.

Like, I didn't really know the entrepreneur world and how to really operate that. I just, I found out by chance that I had a gift. Well, what I knew was that you were very talented and I understood that there's this threshold when someone's very talented where they start to rest on the fact that they are gifted alone and they don't take on the responsibility

of making sure that this gift is able to translate in any arena. And I knew that with your talent and for the opportunities that could be presented to you, that you could get in the door and then get kicked out of the door because there wasn't the level of accountability and responsibility that makes major people continue to work with you. Well, I did.

I ended up like, as soon as you released me, I went to work for other people and I didn't realize why I had been released. You know, I didn't realize why I had been released. I didn't realize when I first got released from it, I didn't really know what the actual deal was. I needed to work on. Well, I went to other people and I started to get fired from them as well.

And so as you continue to cycle, you're kind of like, okay, now wait a minute, something is wrong. Sorry, you have to be there. So a little bit of issue with you. There may be a little issues with other people as well, but the majority I have to focus on is the issues within me. And so focusing on doing the work and then not leaning and depending on people to make my career thrive

or make my gif shine or make my gif be able to push forward. And then do what I love to do without it having to be about a person. Just do what I love to do because God has called me to it. Like my goal in working with you is now now my goal for you is like I want my friend to shine. My friend going to kill it. I want her to be great and whatever she do.

I want her to look amazing and fill amazing. And that's the goal now because we're family. But initially and now for clients, I always want everybody to just fill their best. Yeah. Like it's not about you going to a room, slaying an ex-girl head off. The goal is, is to go in a room, feeling your best, because if you go in a room whole, and you'll be able to walk out home, you're going to a room half way, you're going to walk out, insecure, a little bit of broken. I was wondering at one time why I had to go in a network and events and go in places, because I wasn't going in a room whole.

Right, right, right. I was going to the room looking for something, or looking for something that someone else had to offer and hopes up walking out of the room hole. I don't know who this is for, but stay off Beyonce's internet self-diagnosing your symptoms and cis. Stop hitting up your friends from medical opinions.

They don't know. You won't find quality medical advice in your group chat, but you can on ZockDock, with thousands of medical professionals to choose from. I bet you received the expert care you need. ZockDock is the only free app that lets you find and book doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, and are available when you need them and treat almost every condition under the sun. When I'm on the road and in need of a healthcare provider, I rely on ZockDock as a trusted guide to connect me to the highest quality of care. And sis, they can be right every time.

Millions of people use the ZockDock app as a quick and easy way to book and keep track of their appointments. So, go and check them out. Go to Zock-Dock.com slash Wamen Evolve and download the Zock-Dock app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. Many are available within 24 hours, that's zoc.com slash woman evolve. Zop.com slash woman evolve. I love that because I think it speaks to the reality of when someone takes a step like

you did into an unknown territory, an unknown land without the experience or community that allows people to gather wisdom and advice to set themselves up for success. We're talking about someone who has a target to reign in the pressure of not having experience. So like what do you do when you have a desire to make it to the top, but you also recognize that you don't have anything to climb with,

except for whatever is within reach. And I think that what you have done is make the best out of whatever is within reach at any given moment. Not only have you made the best, you have made whatever is in reach become its best too. And I think that that's why God continues to see you accelerate and be promoted,

even when it looks like the math shouldn't be mathing, because it's never been just about you. It's always what can I use that is within reach? And how can I take what is within my reach and make it its best, even if I eventually have to release it to grab the next thing? And I feel like your heart posture and your desire to really see God glorified and all that you do is what positions you to be trusted with more and more. So I look forward to the moments where I see what? No, I was just gonna say thank you for that

because this has been a season of releasing and helping others to grow. Yeah. At the same time. It's like, okay, God, do you want me to be, do you really want me to be transparent about what's going on in my life right now with they really look at me.

I am supposed to be the God who teaches master classes on fashion, teaches master class on business, and like God, at my word, they are really doing that. Like, can I teach people along with the things that I learned along the way or that I'm actually currently in. I'm under pressure right now but I'm still teaching people in this very moment all at the same time because of my you know of the transparency and recently I had to literally let go. I had this beautiful office space that was probably about maybe 5,500 square foot.

And Sarah, you saw the place, it's huge. And I absolutely loved it there myself. And my parents came and they were like, boy, like what is this place? This is huge blah, blah, blah. My family was like, we love it. We're so proud of you. And the community, everybody that I showed it to,

the very thing they said was, we're so proud of you, man. And so for me, I had never really heard, I'm proud of you. So that automatically gave me this thing of, hold on tight to the office, do what you can and make it work in order for the office to still be there because that's that one thing that everybody told you that they're proud of. So for me, it was symbolic of you, you made it.

You did something great. And as of recently, after the pandemic or just for the economy itself, and just business itself, like everything in only economy, something's on. Everything in the place here. Everything is not inflation. And so just from like learning and going through things,

one day I saw a vision in the back of the office and there are two people that are next door to me, other businesses. And so their businesses are thriving and doing great. And so gosh, gosh, I'm in vision of an actual of a door on their wall, on one side of the business office, and another door on another wall. And what God was telling me is that I need you to minimize so that you can help the next person maximize. It's time for someone else's business to grow. Oh wow. And it's next door to me.

I'm like, so you want me to move? Me, me, to move. You want me to give up. You want me to give up half of my space to give to my next door neighbors in order for them to thrive and in order for them to grow. What about me? I worked hard being here.

Then I'm an African-American man. I got to give it up to a Caucasian male. I'm just like, what is the deal? There was something symbolic there that needed healing as well. And so I needed to be able to heal and just that conversation and all of it. And then I let my pride down. I let my ego go. And I said, God, whatever you say is what I'm gonna do. And so I remember reaching out to the landlord

and they were okay with it immediately. And they said, well, let's see if they want an extor. I hadn't even talked to the people next door. I never knew they wanted to grow. Or they needed my space. So I invited the gentleman over, they came over and the next day they said, we want to, we want the space. And I thought that it was me letting go of something

that I had done that was just wrong. But for me now, I feel more free than I've ever felt in business. Wow. In my business journey, I feel more free than I ever felt. And I was dancing in the office last Friday. I'm talking about just like jigging and dancing across the office and the team was laughing. I was like, what's going on?

I was like, I am happy. Yeah. And I haven't been in that place for a long time because it's always been about the goal, the grind, the go get the grind and never replace up. Man, I'm happy. I've released some things and I can just like live abundantly from day to day and not have to have in order for people to look at me like I'm successful or me need people's permission in order to call myself successful.

Okay, so this is so good because I honestly feel like when we talk about raining under pressure, I think we also need to qualify the pressure we're under. Because some of the pressure could be alleviated if we made some tough decisions. If we decided to end some things that we've maybe had for a long time and decide that this is a season where I am going to only have the pressure that is assigned and not the pressure that is assigned and not the pressure that I have acquired and a pursuit that may not even be ordained anymore. So I feel like I just want to commend you.

I know you've made some tough decisions. I know that any time a leader makes a tough decision that there's casualtees. And there are most of the time people on the other side of it. And it's difficult when you love people and you care for people to make the type of decisions that you know are going to shake up their life. And yet you found a way to trust that God would provide for them and that God would provide for you. And it takes a lot of wisdom and maturity to do that

because not everyone accepts the answer and they don't always accept the decision. But to come to a place where you can trust that you did what God told you to do and trust that God's gonna take care of them the same way He's covered you, I think is the greatest gift that you can give anyone. Keeping them would have not been a gift.

Keeping the building would not have been a gift. The gift is in the obedience. The gift is in obedience. I'm learning. Yeah. Period'm learning. Yeah. Period. Estimation mark. Okay.

Well, thank you. Thank you. Do you, are we, what was the time? Are we good? Yeah. Okay. All right. So I have a question to ask you.

You ready? Yep. Who is the most... Okay, now I have to make sure I ask this properly. What woman has possessed the most iconic style past, present, future that has shaped the way that you see fashion. That has shaped the way that I see fashion. Yeah.

Or influence, yeah. Yeah. There is, so young lady, her name is Sarah Jake Schwabbers. Good night. No, real talk. Are you serious? Why?

Don't say this. Well, you gave me a chance to develop. I wasn't able to just dress you, but I was actually able to get a union and I was going to go to this deep. But like, literally, it is what it is. Like, you have intent and you have, you're very straightforward about how you want to be seen.

And it's never done in a vain way and always laugh at you and say, well, I'm supposed to be the vain one here. I'm the one that's vain. So I'm going to tell you like I see it. I'm not here to be churchy with you in any kind of way. Like I'm here to tell you what fashion is for me. And so I think that you've helped me to be able to develop that. You've helped me to be able to develop my sense of style, my sense of edge, and my sense of doing things out of the box. And you allowed it,

even in those moments of, eh, maybe I'll fill you here, and maybe okay here, and then bam, we had some, and have some amazing moments as well. I have to be honest, I'm not just saying that because I'm on your podcast, and this is real, real honest. I'm saying that because I mean it,

you have been the client that I've been able to like, walk through this fashion journey with, and I'm appreciative, and it's fun. It's fun. Yeah, you give me a hard time. Yes. But I do love it because those hard times, my team and I were just talking about how we have to strategically think about everything, everything that we put you in.

There is a strategy behind it for us from a fashion perspective because we want to make sure that we're one making you happy, two that is not offensive to an audience, three that is not distracting, four that is covered great and five that is extremely stylish and people think that it's so easy to address someone that's in the Christian market or in a woman that has your morals or that has your values

for when you take the platform, when you take the step forward to speak to all kind of women regardless of where they're from or whatever their religion is, whatever you say to them, you want to be seeing, it should be seen, a certain way that people can listen and they can take it in and be receptive by just looking at you. And I think that you have done a great job by just allowing us to do it, but it takes a lot of strategy behind it.

It does. It takes a lot of strategy. It is not easy at all, but it's fun. And you make it fun even when you're nodding your head saying, I don't like it. I'm like, somebody grab her bob, you know, bring a bob out. You know, one day we were in a fitting and Sarah was like,

I think this would be Cuba like a ponytail. And I was like, can you guys grab the bob? No, no, you said you go, I did too. Can y'all grab the bob? And I'm like, wait a minute. Because you said, I'm ha, but then you didn't, I'm ha properly. And then I like to say this,

help me see it. Let me say it got the way that I see it. Good night. Good night. That was my moment that was happening to me right then, is that I saw it a different way I could see it in my head. And I'm a visionary. I'm a visionary. And I think you're a great, you're a dope visionary as well.

But I think that I could see it in that moment, past what you can see, and that's my job, is to really concentrate on the visuals to make sure that you're dope, and to make sure that it's received in a really dope way. Well, I'm supposed to ask a follow-up question that I don't want to ask, because now I know you're talking about me,

and I don't like it. Who cares, let's go. What do you hope she knows about her life? I hope that she knows that she has definitely played an influential role to women and men across the world. How have you played fashionably towards men is that men now one they see what a wife can look like. A dope wife can look like like how she can be Christian, how she can be saved, how she can be fly, and it really gives guys like some it gives them hope. I'm not just saying that I have

had other females that have told me that they have said they've heard guys talk about how dope of a woman you are and how it gives them hope into life and what what women and what young women can look like dress like feel like and be in the Christian market like. And then for the women, we already know it is the the ladies are like Christian market like. And then for the women, we already know where it is. The ladies are like, you help them to develop in. It's okay to be vulnerable. You show them what it's like to be a mommy. I feel like listening to all the answers. You know what it's like to be a fresh to death and still be dealing with something at home, you know, raining a lot under pressure. Sometimes you're under pressure. I've been redressing you one morning.

Can I say this? Yeah. I've been redressing you one morning. And I think you were in Los Angeles. And I was, I sent you a box of clothes. And there you were going through quite a bit of things at that moment. And you just didn't know how you want to be seen.

And you were really trying to see your way out of that moment. And the very thing that I told you, I was like, that's going to be amazing. Like, you need to wear that. That's going to be really dope. It's going to, it's a fierce moment. You know what I mean? But I think it's definitely, it definitely reads like serious and you're like, it's too bold. I don't know. This is too much. I'm going to do it. And then my other stop friend, Torrey came in the room. And Torrey came, man. He was like, oh, that's fire right there. That's fire.

And he was like, what, when Torrey came in the room, she was like, what is it? What's she like about it? What's she like about it? What's she like about it? And he was like, I really love it. And I was like, I think you Torrey, I'm one face down. Like, thank you Torrey for that, man. I told her to rock it in the wear. And he was like, why don love it. And I was like, I thank you, Torrey. I'm one face down. Like, thank you, Torrey, for that, man.

I told her to rock it and I'm wearing it. And he was like, why don't you want to wear it? And he was like, I just think it's so bold. I'm not sure if this is the matches that I want to give off. But he and I help you to get dressed and to reign under pressure. And you were in the middle of pressure and you took that moment because you made a decision because you could have said, I'm going to walk away from this. I don't

care about what you or Torre got to say, I know how I want to feel, you know, but you took you you said yes to seeing yourself in a better light than what you could like literally see in the mirror at that very moment. And so I applaud you for being able to take that step because then that look became like this incredible, crazy look that everybody talks about across the world. And it also was taken very nicely with the message. I never know what your messages are gonna ever be. But just so happen, the Holy Spirit just like,

God just ties it all together every single time. And I think that the message blended very nicely with the look. And I think that you are such an incredible example of being a young woman. And I mean, to be able to talk to young middle age, more mature ladies across the world and have them all know that there is something better for me. You give them something to aspire for, whether it's a new week, whether it's new lashes, whether it's a better relationship with God, whether it's finding dope friends to be around, whether it's finding a really cool way to be a better mom, whether it's being fly. I just think you're doing a credible job at that. So

I give you the crown, ma'am, of saying, you know, you do so well at raining under pressure. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. Thank you for doing this podcast with me. Thank you for having me. Are you really? Yeah, I'm like, thank you for having me. I had to fight you. You had to fight me. That's alright.

Sarah loves to put me in places that I never knew I'd be. Um, returning the saver. Oh, returning. I love you, friend. I love you too. you