Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Trust Your Light w/ Courtney Sanders

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

Look atcha…too busy focusing on your current circumstances that you overlook your future success—but that all stops now! SJR invited her girl Courtney Sanders on the podcast to coach our listeners toward not playing it small & trusting their inner light! Our guest co-host is a digital entrepreneur, speaker, and influencer who puts a fresh spin on business and personal development. So, in this episode, Courtney explains how showing up for yourself IS the same as showing up for others. That’s right, Sis! Fresh perspective ain’t never hurt nobody. Now, press PLAY and watch how God helps you to understand things in a different light! This show is brought to you by BetterHelp.com/Evolve. Get started with online therapy today and enjoy 10% off your first month! Plus, download the EarnIn app from Google Play or Apple to gain some financial momentum without falling into debt traps. 

God can't bless you for ten to be or who you compare yourself to. He can only bless you and the lane that was created for you. I feel that for somebody. You don't need no itch, it's a unique boundary. So what? I don't need your lights, I don't need your elevation. All I need is a God fighting for me that's there for all things. All things, all things.

Child. Hey, girl, what is your life about this week? I am already so excited about what's about to take place in this episode. I think that it is going to be one of your favorites. I love when we have people who come on the podcast and they offer us practical tools immediately to help us jumpstart our lives. I think this is going to be particularly helpful for those of you who are learning

to not just shine for others, but also to shine for yourself, which is a little weird because this week our focus is literally about shining for others. And if you're like me, you are one of those women who could be in the darkest season of your life. But you can find just enough light to help someone out of their dark season.

We don't find the light for ourselves because we're no longer afraid of our darkness. We've sat in it for so long. But the moment a friend is in need or a family member requires something from us. We find a match and a strike and we light it because shining for others comes easy for us.

But I believe that you are in a season of your life or you're not just going to keep striking the match. I believe that you're in a season of your life or you're going to burn with like a fire, a torch, maybe eternally where your life even has legacy connected to it. Not because you continue to just show up for other people, but because you showed up for yourself in a way that allowed for there to be overflow. I don't know if you guys remember this, but Jesus almost got a weapon.

It's in Luke 2 and if I ever write the ebonyx version of the Bible, I'm going to break this thing down. But Jesus ran away from his mom and Joseph. They were at the temple as they are supposed to do at this annual time of the year. They're making their migration back home. Mary looks around. Jesus is nowhere to be found. They go back to the temple and they find him amongst the scholars and the priests. And when she asked him where were you, I thought that you were with me, what happened? And she was like, Jesus goes, woman, didn't you know that I would be about my father's business? It's almost as if Jesus was ready to shine, but it was not yet his time yet. This is the

last time that we hear anything about Jesus and adolescence from 12 to 30. There's literally nothing about what happens in this in between stage. But I believe that what happened in those 18 years is that he went from someone who could strike a match in a temple to someone who could burn a flame. So we turno that we still experience. It's worth today. What happened in those 18 years shaped what we experienced now. So sometimes yes we want to show up for other

people. Yes we do want our light to shine, but until we allow it to shine within us and force and to transform us, we cannot expect change from other people. If you resonate with what I just said Courtney Sanders is going to help you find the light within that can then shine for other people. She's got incredible tools that are going to be a great resource to you. She is a woman who has climbed the corporate ladder. She is married.

She's got children, but most importantly, she knows exactly what it's like to have to distract yourself from other people's expectations so that you can lean into what's possible inside of you. I can't wait for the birthing of you that's about to happen. Let's get into it. Okay, Courtney, so I have been on your podcast before, so it's nice to be able to turn the tables. Yes, I'm excited to be here, thank you.

In the process of getting to know you more even for this podcast, I learned about all that you're doing to help support others, how you're showing up for them. And I have found that in the process of showing up for others that you often have to navigate your own sense of worryiness, sense of burnout, sense of like, can I continue to serve people in this way? And so I want to know, how did you come to a place in your life where you were like, you

know what? I'm going to tap into this, make my life of service to other people. And then how do you deal with the moments where you're like, my life is of service, but I ain't got nothing to serve. Like what do you do in those moments? I'm not a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I'm a professional, I was actually in college. So I started my business through a blog and that kind of grew into this life coaching, which then grew into business coaching and people kind of wanting to pick my brain and learn more about how they can monetize themselves online. But for a really long time, I still saw myself as that, oh, I'm just this college girl, yes, I can just help everybody and I can kind of do everything. But,

you know, once I got married, I had kids, got a mortgage, all of these different things, and I'm supporting others, I really had to step into these different things. And I'm supporting others. I really had to step into my womanhood, which I know you talk a lot about on your podcast and just woman involved in general with switching that mindset and saying, you know what, it's okay for me to have support, whether that's having a housekeeper come once every two weeks, just to clean on a Saturday so that I can support others and support my family, getting child care, having support in my business, getting my first executive assistant,

all of those different things really made the big shift for me. Okay Courtney, so that's so interesting that you have really evaluated the shift that took place from you being a just girl into stepping into your womanhood. And I love this like concept of a just girl. It's our way of downplaying, our success,

downplaying, our talents. I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I do this all the time. I'm like, I'm just doing something. I'm just, but when you move away from this just mentality and into an ownership mentality, this is a part of who I am, this is a part of my identity.

I do believe that it then allows you to create the strategy, the structure and the support necessary for you to move from just into really having a foundation and establishment. And so why do you think that women, and because you're a life coach, now we can get some life coaching, Courtney, I wanna know, why do you think that we have this tendency

of downplaying our efforts, our talents, our businesses? What is it about playing small that feels safe? It feels safe because oftentimes we're looking at our circumstances and not our future success. So I would say women love to base their self-image around what they see around them. But one of the biggest shifts that I had to make was I started to change my self-image around what they see around them. But one of the biggest shifts that I had to make was I started to change my self-image and make it according to the story that I was creating for myself,

not what my current circumstance has set. And so I know it's very easy for women to say, there's nothing extraordinary about what I'm doing. I'm just someone who works this type of job or I'm just this person who is in the circumstance. Therefore, their self-image is just whatever this limitation is that they've created. But when we allow ourselves to say,

you know what, no, I am becoming this person that I want to be. And so for me, it was I am becoming a live coach. I am becoming someone who is building a brand. It expanded my self-image because I had to grow in order to fill those shoes. And so I really encourage women to get out of just what your circumstances is and say,

no, what is the story that I'm creating, what is the future success that I'm striving for and let yourself image grow to accommodate that and you'll find it a lot easier to take on these things. Okay, Courtney, so I wanna go back before you were in college before you started your business. I wanna know like what was the story that you had about yourself then versus the

rewriting of the narrative? Because I don't think that some people are innately born with the level of ambition and focus and creativity that allows them to pivot very easily. And then there are other people, probably people more like myself who've had to undo a story that they were telling themselves to embrace the possibility of a story that is more expansive, more vibrant, more forgiving, more compassionate than the story we had before. So can you tell me a little bit about your childhood

and maybe some of the things you had to undo before you could become? Oh, such a great question. So my story was really around kind of being the oldest in this golden child and doing what my parents really expected of me. And so even in college, I had taken on a major because it was something that everyone said that I should do.

I grew up in the metro Detroit area, the motor city. And so from a very early age, I was put in like math and science engineering programs. And it was kind of told to me, like, you're going to be an engineer. You're a woman, especially a black woman good at math and science. This is really the path that you are going to be in. And so, due to flea as that older daughter, I took on that major and I really focused on those things.

But I started to have a small inkling of an awakening once I got to school and realized that that wasn't something that I wanted to do. But I didn't have the courage to really stand up for what I wanted and wanted to pursue. And so I still stayed in that major, but I just stopped going to do, but I didn't have the courage to really stand up for what I wanted and wanted to pursue. And so I still stayed in that major, but I just stopped going to class, which is like a terrible idea. If you are engineering, and it wasn't a surprise that my grades fell, I actually had a full-ride engineering scholarship, I completely lost it, and I didn't want to tell my parents what was going on.

So I remember getting an credit card debt and taking out, you know, odd jobs, just trying to keep things afloat. But in the midst of that, trying to get my grades back up and get things together in school, that's when I got really serious about personal development. And so I remember sitting on the floor of the bookstore because I couldn't afford to actually buy the books, reading everything in like taking notes

in my little notebook about how can I turn my life around, how can I create focus, self-discipline, and what does it really take to accomplish my dreams? And so I started blogging that not because I wanted to be a coach or you know, turn this into a business I didn't even know what that was, but I was just looking for some accountability and really crying out for help to see Where there are other young women who are going through the same thing I was and so lo and behold not only were there other women There were actually organizations that were looking to reach out to young women who are interested in entrepreneurship Who saw my blog and then invited me to develop curriculum.

And so that kind of got me on this path of like, oh wait, people will pay for this? Like y'all know I'm only 21 right at the time. Why are y'all, you know, right in checks and offering me this money, but it kind of turned into this, okay, maybe I'll do this curriculum development on the side, I'll do this little coaching on the side and I graduated school, ended up getting a full job, a full-time job in corporate America, but I just kept blossoming that.

And so really for me, it was learning to own what I wanted in my life and go after my own dreams and not carry the expectations of others even though they meant really well for me. Oh, that's so good, because I meet a lot of people who want to change the world, like they want their purpose, I want to understand how can I impact others. And oftentimes, we're missing a step. We want to impact others before we even understand what we will be impacting them with because we don't know ourselves fully yet. And so in order for us to shine for others, we first have to get to know our own light and get to know our own essence.

And sometimes that does mean avoiding other people's perspective of who we are so that we can lean into that truth. How did you learn to trust yourself again after experiencing some failure, after having to face maybe the disappointment of other people? How do you come to a place where you're like, listen, maybe this isn't what you thought I should do, but there's something in me that's telling me, this is the direction that

I need to move towards. How do you trust that and then act on it? Yeah, for me, it was learning to trust my own word again. So I always tell people that I changed my life from a workout DVD, which is kind of ridiculous, but it's true. I remember back in the day, there was like a 21 day workout DVD that I had rented from the library

because I didn't have enough money. And I started that program not just because I wanted to like get and shape and do all these things, but I love that it was 21 days. And I said, man, if I could commit to this, and it's silly, it's like I had a 20 minute a day workout, but if I can commit to this, I'll believe myself again. I'll trust my own word.

But when I say I want to do something, maybe I can actually do it because I committed to this. And so that was my first commitment when I was changing my life, was sticking to that workout DVD. Then after that, it was calling up the credit card companies and saying, OK, this is what I can afford to pay. I'm going to pay this every month. And so from then, it was, all right,

I'm going to get back in school and do these things. And then from there, it was graduating working full gonna get back in school and do these things. And then from there it was graduating, working full time, but still staying committed to my business, I'm gonna wake up early in the morning, when I wake up at five every morning and do this. And so I always tell people, it's created this snowball effect in my life where I can look back and there's a track record.

Now, oftentimes we look at others that we admire and we're like, whoa, they've done all these huge things, not realizing that there were quiet seasons when no one else was looking at them. They were doing things that were so small, but they knew it right, God knew it, and they were focused on those things, and they honored their word to themselves. So, if anyone is struggling with how they can change their perception and really start to believe themselves again, I would say find one small thing that you can stick to and learn

to really honor your word. Oh, that is so good, because I hear you saying you have to learn to show up for yourself. And I think a lot of times we want like Superman to come get us. We want Batman to save us. We want the marriage. Someone to speak into us and to push us in the destiny. And sometimes we receive these words from God and we're like, I got this word from God. But God, now I need you to bring everything to me.

Lay it right out in front of me so that I can move forward not not realizing that God giving you the word requires the truth. Show up for that word and begin to activate it. But showing up for yourself can be really, really hard. And it's one of the things that I want women to master more than anything because God is showing up for you, but you're not showing up for you. And then you just end up stuck because no one's willing to make any further progress. What do you tell women who find themselves stuck? Like how do you mentally come to this place where you're like, you know what, I'm just gonna take the chance?

Yeah, I always say women are wondering if they have what it takes, but I'm saying, are you taking advantage of what you already have? And so that's really the first place. We're looking for all these outside things to come to us and say, versus saying, what is it that I actually have that I can take advantage of right here right now? So many of us are comparing ourselves to someone else, whether you want to start a brand and you're like, wow, their video equipment is a lot better than mine or you want to start

something else. They have more followers than I do or you want to get a promotion. Oh, that other person has an advanced degree and I don't. We're so focused on all the things that we don't have. We miss so much of the resources that are already right within us. And so for me, it was really looking at what I had and saying, I don't care what it looks like compared to other people. How can I maximize this to the best of my ability?

And really trust again, if God has already laid out this plan for me, then what I have right now is sufficient and he will take that and make it work. Okay, so there's this point where you have started showing up for yourself. You're building your confidence. You're beginning to trust what you carry and you're allowing it to show up in your decision making. It's showing up in your life. My next question for you is, how do you then transition into showing up for other people? Because you could have just like kept at that,

like you're climbing the corporate ladder, although you're serving the goals of the company, you perhaps serving the goals of your team, it's not necessarily this mission to ultimately infiltrate the world and to make sure you're infiltrating the fears of other people. What made you pivot from like, I'm not just going to show up for myself, I'm going to

show up for everyone else who found themselves in a similar situation as I did. I think seeing the impact of that and also having mentors who really validated that what I was doing was was really worth something. So I know we have a mutual friend in common, a Myleek te leak teal the founder of curl box. She was instrumental for me because she saw what I was doing. She saw how I was blogging, trying to create this brand. And she was really like, you know what, this self-discipline thing that you're talking about, more women need to see this. You know, let's collaborate. How can I support you in getting this out there? And so realizing that what I had that I

thought was no big deal, this journey that I had taken myself on and mastering self-discipline doing whatever these work out DVDs and honoring my word, that that was something that other people struggled with. And so I think that was really the light bulb of like, oh wow, this isn't just valuable for my own transformation, but other people really want this. And so doing that collaboration and seeing the impact even just within that of how important it was for people. At the time we had done, I think it was a five day self-discipline challenge, it was free, and thousands of women virtually online all over the world participated in this challenge and they were saying, thank you, this was exactly when I needed, this was, I've been struggling

with this for so long, I needed someone to really give me the strategy of how I could create that in my life. And that was just one thing, that was just self-discipline. And so from there I started to say, well, man, are there other things that I mastered that other people would be interested in? And I would just kind of put it out there, almost to see, you know, with someone take a bite.

And so it was self-discipline. And then it was time management. And then people started asking me, will you blogging? But you're like getting traction and people are paying you for this. Like, how are you doing that? And then I created a program called Blogger to Business Woman. And so then we get into the business coaching lane.

And so it's really just been one step in front of the other. But I really have a disposition of I first tried to master something myself. And then I love to kind of turn back and say, how can I bring others along with me? And so when I go through doors, I'm always like, let me leave the door cracked open. And it's just seeing that impact that keeps me going and lets me know

that this just can't be for me. I have to continue to do this to support others. Okay, so now I'm lost because I don't know if I wanna ask you about how important it is for women to collaborate with others or if I need to go down this self-discipline trail because what is she, we've never heard of her. She seems like a good time,

but we don't know how to find her. So like, I'm gonna just let you choose. You tell me. Man, well, I think both are one and the same, right? I think it is a discipline in order to calm your mind in that competitive spirit and wondering like, oh, you know, should I collaborate with this person? What are they gonna think about me, whatever, right?

I mean, my lead to a was and is huge and she really modeled that for me. If like, here's a young woman who's coming up, she didn't need going to think about me, whatever, right? I mean, my Lee Tiel was and is huge and she really modeled that for me. I've like, here's a young woman who's coming up. She didn't need to do that for me, but she reached down and said, I like what you're doing. And so again, I like to continue to do that as well. So I always say, reach up, reach down, reach to the left of you, reach to the right of you, because you never know how someone could have a

connection somewhere that can really open doors for you. But I think this self-discipline is very important because that shows up in so many areas of our lives, especially as we're building brands and connecting with people because one of the biggest things is follow through it, right? So it's one thing to say, I want to collaborate with other women and we're going to do this amazing thing.

But again, do you honor your word? Do you say, do you do what you say you're going to do? Are you trustworthy? Can you show up on time? Can you, you're not going to make? Are you trustworthy? Can you show up on time? Can you, you're not going to make this person look bad? Do you have the discipline to do those things? And so I think they go hand in hand, but as long as you have that mindset

and again, the support of other women, really the sky's the limit. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. I believe that journaling is a safe place for authentic self-discovery. No wonder years ago when I created a blog, I began to learn new things about myself. Riding and connecting with women was life-changing for me. The experience was heavy yet, liberating. It opened me up to a world of opportunity.

Getting to know our true selves takes time as we're constantly evolving. I've personally found therapy to be an effective tool for deepening the relationship I have with myself. Therapy can benefit anyone. It unlocks authenticity and empowers individuals to be the best version of themselves. If you're interested in starting online therapy,

choose BetterHelp. As the world's largest counseling service, it will deliver the quality of care you deserve. Simply fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist today. And yes, you can switch therapists at no additional charge in hopes of finding the right fit. Since support is just a click away, discover your potential with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash evolve today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.

help.com slash evolve. Oh goodness, okay, so can you tell me about a time maybe recently recently or when you were first starting where you really felt like in your soul the tangible impact of what you were doing because you heard a particular woman's story and what was her story and why was it so important to you? Man, yeah, even recently, just hearing people saying, I've followed you for so long. I followed you in, you know,

you were just that college girl and I've watched your journey. And I followed along too. And now because of modeling what you've done, I've built my own brand, I've quit my own job, I've changed the trajectory of my family's life. I mean, I have a client who was a pediatrician, a doctor, but was really burned out, was stressed out, was kind of following along the same story

that I had of doing things that her parents expected her to do. Oh, you're the first in our family to be a doctor, doing all of these things and following down that path, even though that wasn't really where she wanted to make the impact. And so she had followed me for a long time, jumped into some different offerings that I had going on.

And again, changed her own life where she could finally leave that path. And she not only had the personal confidence to do it, but the financial resources to do it now because she learned how to monetize her skills online. And now her whole family's life has changed both with her husband, her kids, the different things that she's doing out in the world.

And so when I hear stories like that, I'm just like, this is why this is why we do this. This is the reason to keep showing up because it makes a real difference. Has your work revealed to you one common barrier that shows up in women who are trying to take their gift or what they think could be something and actually taking a chance on it and allowing it to see what could happen. Like is there a common barrier that you see as you're coaching these women? Oh, absolutely. Women for one don't think what they have to offer

is like worth anything. And if you could even convince them, no, this is worth something people will pay for it. They tend to think, well, they're not gonna pay much money for it. So they lowball themselves, they lowball their not going to pay much money for it. So they low-balled themselves, they low-balled their prices. They're scared to put it out there, to even charge. There's a lot of, like, I'll do it for free. I'm just a homegirl.

Don't even worry about it. And there's all this insecurity around what will happen. Will people think less of me? Will they think I'm like a bad person? If I put a number to this and actually charge for my gifts and talents? And they don't. Is that what you're saying? Or like some do some don't, but the ones who do pay the bills. if I put a number to this and actually charge for my gifts and talents. They don't, is that what you're saying? Or some do some don't, but the ones who do pay the bills, how do you navigate the truth of that?

The truth is, one, your impact with your gift is greater than your immediate circle. So I think sometimes we think about that one cousin who says I'm crazy to us. At Thanksgiving, you're going to start a business doing that. Nobody's going to pay for that. So I think sometimes we think about like that one cousin who says I'm crazy to us right at Thanksgiving like Girl you don't start a business doing that like nobody's gonna pay for that whatever and again We limit like this this whole self-image present circumstances. We limit the impact the Finance is like all the things to what's immediately in front of us or what the people we know say and so there has to be this Awareness that there's 8 billion people on the planet, right? There's whatever 100 gazillion on Facebook or Instagram alone. And so if you again can just be a light and show up and share what you have to offer, it doesn't matter what someone

So say that you know Thanksgiving there's so many other people who would gladly pay you for what you have because you are literally a godsend to them. Wow. Okay, so I'm working on a book. And I'm trying to still wrap my mind around the concept, but I want to talk about how power moves. You're sitting here. You are obviously incredibly articulate, intelligent. You have a wealth of experience in different areas.

You're passing that experience over to others and allowing them to really build their lives as well. You're married and you are a mom. I want to write this book, Power Moves, because I think that most women believe that in order to show up the way that you're showing up right now, that that's how I show up everywhere. And the thought of it can kind of make them exhausted. Like I don't know if I can do this, there's gotta be a space where I'm not always high power, high octane, I think they call it high octane women.

And I try to tell people all the time, like the person who is preaching is not the same girl who's like taking the kids to school. Like, they're just not the same people. Like, when I switch the wig, I switch the energy, okay? Okay. How do you translate the reality that you are intelligent, you are impactful and you do have vision and creativity for your life with the reality that like I'm also a woman

on a journey trying to figure things out. Do you give yourself permission to have those moments of vulnerability within the context of your private life and family. And do you feel like you're letting down the image when you have those moments? No, I don't feel like I'm letting it down even though I do definitely have those moments like every single day. I feel like it's a part of the process, right? So what you see on the outside of being able to show up for others and, you know, pitch a blazer or on pitch a high heels and kind of do the power thing, that comes

towards the end of the process. But there has to be something that's poured in in the beginning. And so if I'm in a moment where I'm, you know, having a conversation with my husband, I'm being very honest and vulnerable about a fear that I have. I don't know if this is going to work or I'm doing something new. I don't look at those two situations and say, see, you're an imposter. People don't know that when you go home, you're talking about all your fears, your husband, but when you show up online, you're this person,

I see it more as a continuum. I'm allowed to show up as this person. I can be this person because I allow that vulnerability in these other spaces and I get poured into. And so because I'm poured into, okay, then I can show out and have my battle armor on and be that for the world. Same thing with my children, right?

Like, no, I am not boss mommy with my kids, but those tender moments with my daughter or we're doing the cuddling thing reading books or the time my son wakes up super early in the morning and is trying to climb in the bed with us and wants to watch his cartoons. I'm not being boss mommy, but that fills me up so that I can show up to the world.

So it's just understanding where things are in your life and what purpose they serve and recognizing that. You don't have to be that everywhere because one really fulfills the other. Okay, so that's so good for me because when I first started my therapy journey, I found this woman and I was telling her, like I don't feel consistently

like the person I am when I'm speaking, like I show up and I'm free and I'm confident and I have this thing that I tap into in that moment. And then like I just want to feel that consistently. She's like, you've got imposter syndrome. And I was like, I don't think it's that. I don't think it's that. And I think what you just said is like giving us permission to allow that power to show.

I'm writing my book, someone write this down. I need these notes. Giving ourselves permission to allow different types of power to show up in different moments of our lives. And sometimes that is just like, I am authentically who I am in that moment where I've got the mic, and I am authentically who I am. And I'm like, I'm stressed I'm tired.

I don't know if I have what it takes in there, not at war with one another. So you just coach me. Do I need to pay pal you? What do we do with this? We're good. We're good. We're good.

Oh, okay. So I want to know, like, what are some things that you are working on that you're most looking forward to? Man, oh my goodness. I'm really excited about this footprint that I'm building in South Africa. So I recently had a retreat in South Africa. We brought some of my clients from the US

to have this great experience, but I've been building out my team. So I work with project managers, content writers, instructional designers, all these different people who are based in South Africa. And they were like, the work you're doing in the US would be so impactful here, especially for the women that need this support in our country.

We would love to have you. And so that was definitely an imposter syndrome moment when we were kind of planning this, where I was like, what? I'm, oh wait, you want me to get on a plane and create this retreat and do this and, like, who am who am I right a lot of that came up But again trying to coach myself, you know Push that down and really just made it happen and it was a really successful event

And now we have the opportunity to do it annually, which I'm really excited about so I'm just I'm just really I don't know I just feel really grateful of the opportunity to do this work But to do it and it even broader space and to to think like I could go to the motherland and and do this work but to do it in an even broader space and to think like I could go to the motherland and do this is just really amazing. So I'm really excited about the work that we're doing there. I definitely want to hear more about that because we have some incredible plans with Womanybaw and South Africa. So that sounds like an opportunity for some sisterhood and collaboration. Absolutely, absolutely.

What do you do to refuel? So like when you're like, I need some self-cares and me time, some soul care, what does that look like for you? Yeah, so soul care for me is soul food, right? It's definitely the person that likes to eat my way through anything going on. So I'm a huge foodie, and one of my favorite things to do is take myself out on what I call my

CEO lunch so I call this CEO lunch because it's a place where I can think creatively and think about like on my business versus like working in my business I don't have people you know pinging me or sending me messages asking for things So it's kind of a place where I can just kind of do my own thing But I go hard I order crazy stuff off menu, it's just me. And the server is like, so are you expecting someone else? And I'm like, no, I will have this advertiser. I have this entree. This dessert, I'm doing all of the things.

And I just love it. I love exploring different food, different restaurants in my city. I'm based here in Houston. So there's a lot of great food here. And food is my love language. So I treat myself with a treat at least once a week. I was getting ready to say with you in Houston,

like you have a lot of options. What's the best place, like if you are in Houston for 12 hours, what's the best place to go and get like every markable life changing meal? Oh my goodness, I love Joey Uptown. So it's in Galaria and they have something for everybody on the menu, but you can get like sushi, you can get steak, you can get truffle

fries, you can get this amazing apple pie that they have like whatever it is chicken wings, like they have so many different things on the menu. And so it's a great place to like sample a lot of different things, but it's really delicious. And they all beyond the super chic too. Yeah. OK, before we go, I have to ask you, I would like to know what woman in your life has been the most impactful on who you are today? Hands down, my mother.

My mother. She really taught me this idea of you can choose what your self images. You don't really have to base it on your circumstances. And one of our favorite quotes that we share, and I actually have it as a plaque in my house, is the easiest way to predict the future is to create it. And so that's something that she taught me at a very young age.

It's something we like text each other every once in a while. And it's just really the, I would say, the single biggest belief that she instilled in me and that I hope to instill in both my children as well. So definitely my mom. Okay, before we go, I have to ask you, what is like one thing you hope that she knows about the impact that she's had on your life?

Mm, I hope that she knows that my impact is her impact, right? And all of us, we are, we only see further because we stand on the shoulders of giants, right? That's a famous quote. I think sometimes my mom is like, well, you know, my daughter is doing this amazing thing and I'm like, proud of you, but I would like her to know, you should be proud of yourself

because this work that I've been doing was only possible because of you. So by extension, you're actually the one that's doing it in a way, right? It's kind of like this, she's delegated this power to me and then I'm able to do this elsewhere. But I think she should share in those rewards as well. So, I would let her know that like any impact I make is impacted that you've made. Okay. I have to ask you before you go. That it just sparks my curiosity. Women countless, thousands of women are standing on your shoulders as a result of you standing up. And they can see things that they could have never seen before because of your yes. And so I am wondering, what do you hope that they know about their potential and their

possibilities as a result of them standing on your shoulders? I would want them to know that it's all possible for them, right? If another human being has done it, then you can do it too. You just have to decide that you want to. And don't base whether or not you can do it based on the resources that are currently available to you. When you make that decision and you step out on faith, those resources will show up. Well, thank you, Courtney.

You are a resource. I know that you're going to be so many people hitting you up about the self-discipline program. We're like, where can we find it? If we want to go back and we're like, hey girl, we want to try the five day. First of all, you had us if free because we don't know if we want discipline enough to pay for it. But we also made one to pay for it. How do we dip our toe in the water or dive all the way in with all of the things?

Yeah, man, there's so much going on. So you can come on my website, CourtneyLessanders.com. I have self-disciplined programs, I have branding programs. Actually, I have a new five day free challenge that we're running called the nailier niche challenge. And I wanted to do that because I know a lot of women

really desire to show up online, maybe build a business, monetize those gifts, and they're like, but again, who is going to buy this? What would I sell? What is it that I have to offer that's worth something? And so we really dive into that. We dive into the discipline of showing up, creating content every day, all of that. On this five-day nail, your niche challenge, as it stands, I'm doing it once a month, and again, it is free to register, and then we have opportunities if they want to upgrade and get additional coaching they can do all that. So I would say that's the best place to get plugged in right

now and I know we'll have a link for your listeners as well in the show notes but yeah those are the things that are going on. So beautiful. Thank you Courtney so much for helping us. I feel better already and I know our listeners will too. So thank you for your time. Thank you. your time. Thank you. There's a verse in scripture that tells us to let our light shine before others so they may see our good works and glorify God. Courtney girl, you're glowing, okay? And we are all so much brighter because you allowed your light to shine for us all. Your life is so indicative of what it means to pour out as God pours in. We are praying that you continue to receive a harvest for all that you have sewn to the lives of ourselves and those who are yet to come.

If you enjoyed this podcast, I want you to drop her a line, let her know how her work is already changing your life. And then I want you to write us because we want to know your testimony, we want to know your story, we want to know your story. We want to know how you are learning to shine and become in every season of your life. Email us at podcast at woman evolve.com. You can also drop us in advice question. Girl, we want to mind your business or maybe sign up to be one of our co-hosts. Basically, we want to hear from you. Email us at podcastatwomenevolved.com.

Make sure you rate and subscribe because we're coming back next week with even more fire to help you keep glowing. We'll see you then. you