Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - You Can't Take Everybody With You w/Pretty Vee

Episode Date: September 10, 2026

Everyone knows Pretty Vee the comedian. However, inquiring minds want to know... who is she when the cameras stop rolling? Sarah Jakes Roberts gets to know the woman behind the laughter as our girl Pretty Vee takes us back to growing up in a Jamaican household. Think you know who fueled her comedic aspirations? Well, think again! Pretty Vee reveals her OG comedy influences, plus gets candid about how her parents responded to her career choice. In the middle of what she describes as a personal metamorphosis, Pretty Vee is reinventing herself, moving beyond the punchlines, and letting go of what no longer serves her. Through it all, faith remains at the center—and she’s sharing that journey both in this episode and in her 100-day devotional, The Pretty Victory.Now, a little love for our partners! Transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life—join Wayfair Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase at https://wayfair.com or on the Wayfair app. AquaOmega: One of the highest-dose omega-3 supplements per serving, no fish burps, and for every bottle sold, removes 1 lb. of plastic and debris from the ocean and coastlines. Use code EVOLVE for 20% off at https://myaquaomega.com/EVOLVE. Go to https://oseamalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with code WOMAN. Visit https://myalloy.com and use code EVOLVE for $20 off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What's up family? I am Sarah Jax Roberts and you are listening to the Woman Evolve podcast. Before I start anything, I need to check in with you. What's up? What's been going on in your world? How are you feeling? If you are watching on YouTube, drop me a little comment. If you're just listening, girl, talk to yourself. Fellow, just talk to yourself. When's the last time you told you how you're feeling? See, that's the thing. We're always asking other people how they're feeling, but when's the last time you checked in with you? Because, and if you don't, you need a feeling, because you could just be out here going through the motions without taking inventory of the fact that,

hmm, I'm actually sad, oh, I'm actually happy. Sometimes we get so busy just getting into our routine that we literally don't know what it feels like to have joy, to feel stressed, to feel overwhelmed because we're just trying to make it through the day. It is so important that you take some time to just breathe and figure out where you are. I'm always thinking about in scripture

that when God came, down into the garden after Adam and Eve had eaten from the fruit, he asked them, Adam, where are you? He wanted to ask them a question, not because he had lost them, but because sometimes you don't even know where you are yourself and you need someone from the outside to help you start the discovery process and figure out where you are. So let this be your sign that maybe you need to check in with you and ain't nothing wrong with telling people, I need a minute. So I am going to tell you that you have so much to look forward to Should that be God's plan for your life If you do not have children and that is your plan for your life

How's your rest? How's your rest? Do you think you're better than the rest of us? Because your money just go to you and not kids? You can be honest. I'm not saying you're right. I'm just saying, is that how you feel? Let me tell you they back in school

and every morning I get up and I am just reminded, I've been somebody's mama since I was 14 years old. The only reason why my life is set up this way where I ask to get up this early and do these things is because I am taking care of these little children. Let me tell you something. Ele's in med school, Kansas is a senior, getting back into our routine and starting to feel like myself a little bit

has been nice. But I am telling you, I am noticing the shift occurring in both of their personalities. And one of the challenges of being a present parent and not just telling your kids to swallow their feelings to be seen and not hurt is that you have to make space for these changes to present themselves.

And so we're having a lot of conversations as they're like navigating new friendships, preparing for college. You're like, oh, how do you see things? And oh, what are my expectations? And did that feel like I forced you? And let me tell you something. I'm tired, but that's all right.

I am still here. That is literally my answer to her. thing. Whatever it is I'm facing, whether it's good, bad, or overwhelming, I'm like, I'm still here to face it. I am super excited. This has been a really good week for me. Well, it's been a good week, but it's been a stressful week. We are processing refunds for conference still. We are yet in the process of refunding people for their conference tickets. And some of you may be wondering, how is that even possible? Let me tell you something. Because when you have a life-threatening injury or accident

three months before conference, then find out that you need to have a spinal surgery six weeks before said conference. Much of conference has already been paid for. And when more people ask for a refund than you anticipate, you have to restructure your contracts, financials, in order to accommodate the monetary requirement to process those refunds.

And there is not a day that I wake up where I don't think, oh, my God, I need you. I need you to be a lawyer in the courtroom. I need you to be an officer. I need you to be a teller at the bank. Lord, I need, no, I don't need you to be, I don't need you to be a robber, Jesus.

But if the wealth of the wicked is stored up somewhere, Lord, I just beseech you now, brethren, to just walk with me, Lord. And let me tell you something. So that is a process, not just the restructuring, and then the tedious nature in which, Like you have to find. It's just been a lot. And so I have that going on at the same time that we were planning tour.

And so now if you don't know, we're going to do a seven city tour. We're going to come to Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, Memphis, Birmingham, Nashville, and San Antonio. We are calling it the Rogue Route Tour. And it's our opportunity to connect with women from those regions and perhaps those who will travel in to really just get in the Roman Wussai together. if life has gone a rogue for you and you have felt like you've lost yourself in the process, oftentimes we hide and we isolate because we don't want to have to experience the weight of needing to be honest about who we are and who we aren't. And we don't want to connect with other people who may expect something from us.

I am excited because conference represents or conference teams, tour represents an opportunity. for us to gather and for us to experience connection with one another, but also to ask the presence of God to meet us in this uncharted territory and to figure out what our response is. I know what it's like to feel stuck. Even when I think about what I've gone through lately, to not know what to do to be afraid to do anything because life has already pivoted so much

that you don't trust yourself to make decisions or to show up, And so we're going to dig into what it means to respond. And sometimes our responses break our own rules and break our own paradigms that we existed in. So anyways, I'm excited about it. But my book, I was working on a book while I was sat up in a bed for three weeks in a neck brace. And the book had actually started almost a year ago, the outline and the cultivating of the message. But then when I had my injury, it just kind of took on a new life. And so we've been working through like edits and book cover.

So between that tour, refunds, kids being back in school, I have started back to school. I am questioning my capacity, but also just asking God to give me each day my daily brand. I'm so excited about my classes this year. You're going to end up living in the overflow of what I learned. So just be prepared to be a good friend and to listen to me as I do my homework. Okay, that was really minding my business. Now let me get into yours. This episode of Woman Evolve is brought to you by Alloy Health.

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Here's a warning before we jump into the Mind Your Business question for this week's episode. I never listened to these questions beforehand because I always want to give you my raw, unprocessed thoughts. And sometimes that may or may not be a good idea. But for this question in particular, I learned that it is one that is highly sensitive and could be triggering for those who have experienced or been exposed to sexual abuse or trauma. I want you to know that before just diving into this week's question because it may be one that is too raw or sensitive for you to. hear right now. Please use judgment and wisdom before proceeding. And also, if you can relate at all to the predicament that our listener has found herself in, please drop us a note, a comment, an email, podcast at walmolivob.com, and share some encouragement for her.

Hi, Sarah. I'm struggling right now. My youngest daughter, who was in her mid-20s, confessed me in the last 30 days that my youngest son violated her when she was just a young girl. She was a tween at the time, probably about 11 or 12, that would have made her eight or nine. Her home was toxic, lived in survival mode. Most of the time, married to the dad for 26. and I left and divorced them three years ago.

I am struggling to forgive my son. He won't admit it. He won't be honest. My daughter has done way more than I have and she has forgiven him saying that he was just a kid himself.

I'm wondering if somebody has violated him. She was very specific and said that there was no penetration, as if that really made a difference, but lots of fondling and oral. He is adamantly denying this. And I'm struggling.

If he was in for me, I would not be able to keep my hands off of him. I would want to hurt him, and I know that's not what God would want me to do. How do I move forward? I'm stuck, and I'm really, really struggling. put this. That is beyond heartbreaking to hear. I'm so so sorry. I don't listen

to these questions beforehand. So I'll definitely put a just a disclaimer on this episode. I try to give you guys my raw response so it doesn't feel premeditated and

I'm just so, so sorry. I'm so so sorry that you're walking through this, that your daughters had to walk through it, and that your son has had to walk through it. And I can only, I can only imagine what it's like to love both of your children and then to be in this situation. I mean, just my heart literally, literally breaks for you. Like I said, I don't listen to these beforehand, and I may actually ask Dr. Anita, she'll send us a response just so that you hear from a licensed professional.

about the situation. What I can say at this point is that, you know, it sounds like your daughter has lived with this much longer than you have. And so forgiveness for her has been a process that she's had to have had the luxury of being able to walk out while you're still dealing with this fresh revelation. And so I don't think you should beat yourself up for struggling to figure out what it looks like to forgive something. this heartbreaking I can tell you that when I consider

what it means to come to a place of forgiveness for people who have done the unthinkable and the unimaginable but whom we also love is to allow yourself to grieve to grieve who you thought they were to grieve who you needed them to be

and to acknowledge that grief. Because there is a death of an idea of who someone is that is required if you're going to accept who they are. And accepting who they are doesn't necessarily mean that you welcome them back into your life. But in order to determine where they fit in your life, you have to first start with the truth about who they are. And I say that broadly because I know some people may apply that to what forgiveness looks like in a hole.

You said that the household was toxic, so I can imagine that there's also a part of me wondering, how do I forgive myself? And sometimes it's easier to shift our unforgiveness, not just to the perpetrator, but also there's a part of us that struggles to forgive. of ourselves. How did I miss that? I knew it was bad, but how I'm sorry that it was that bad. I'm sorry that I wasn't present. I'm sorry that I wasn't there. And so there are so many different emotions that get mixed in with that. What I will say is it relates to forgiveness is that one, I think is important that you know that we live in an experiment. That when God created the heavens and the earth

And he put the sun in the sky and said, let there be light and created the moons and stars and the trees and the fruit. And he gave humanity dominion that he gave us the potential to obey or disobey, to hurt or to heal. And whatever we bring to that table then gets multiplied because we were created to be fruitful and multiplying. Sometimes that being fruitful and multiplying is as multiplying pain. and multiplying trauma. So for you to ask, has he been violated? Is there something that has been multiplied? Where has he been hurt?

Where has he been broken that created this fruit of deception and hurt and trauma that my daughter has had to experience? I think it's important for us to know that because this isn't necessarily the identity or outcomes that God would have wanted for. for your daughter, for your son, and yet this is the reality that they live in. Seeing yourself the way,

seeing your son the way that God sees him, not the way that you see him or the way that you had this view of him is, for me, the ultimate path to forgiveness, that it is releasing you from my perspective of who you are and accepting who you are and also accepting that when God looks at you, he doesn't see you through the lens of my experiences.

He doesn't look at the outward cancer. He looks at the heart. And so he understands the sickness in the heart, the weakness that may be in the heart, the trauma, the pain that may exist in our heart, that produce that fruit. And forgiveness may come down to asking God to help you reconcile who he is

the way that God sees him and to pray that whatever was in his heart, has been in his heart, will be revealed that there would be a space that offers him conviction but not condemnation so that he can be honest so that he can be healed too. And I'm a mother, I'm an aunt, I'm a sister, I'm a cousin,

I know what it's like to experience the revelation of sexual abuse within a family and to try and reconcile the role that you played or didn't play could have played in it. And all I can say

is this that he's the god of the victim just as much as he is the god of the villain and as much as we be, you know, want to put our hands on somebody and just be the judge and the juror praying that they experience transformation

is probably a better use of our spirit and energy because violating them in the way that they violated the one that you love seems like a solution, but it's really just further multiplication. of pain and anger. I'm really sorry you're going through this, though. And I'm going to be praying for you that you're able to grieve properly,

accept properly, and define forgiveness in a way that resonates deeply for you and your daughter and your son. All right now, before we get back into this conversation, I need to interrupt us just for a second because I have to tell y'all about something that has made its way into my skincare routine. Osea. Okay, because skincare will have you buying 17 different products doing 12 different steps and still somehow

wondering, is any of this doing anything? At this stage of my life, I need my skincare to be a little more simple. I want products that feel good, work well in my routine, and leave my skin looking like I've been drinking my water and minding my business. And that is what I love about Osea. One of my favorites is their undaria algae body oil. It has this beautiful citrus scent. It absorbs so easily and it leaves my skin feeling moisturized without feeling like I have a layer of oil sitting on top of me.

It's rich but it's still lightweight and maybe that glow. We appreciate that glow. Osea uses undaria seaweed that's hand harvested from the sea and infused with botanical oils through this artisanal process that brings together, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Their products are designed to deeply moisturize while giving your skin that silky, healthy-looking glow. And Osea has been doing this for 30 years. So I love that this isn't a brand that just showed up yesterday with a cute little bottle and a promise. They've stayed consistent with clean, clinically tested skincare from the sea.

So if you've been wanting to simplify your skincare routine, while still giving your skin some real attention, I definitely want you to check them out. Go to Oseaamalibu.com and get 10% off your first order with Code Woman. That's O-S-E-A-Malibu.com, code woman. Pretty V built an audience by making people laugh. We already know that she's hilarious, bold, expressive, beautiful, and completely unforgettable. But what I loved about sitting down with her was getting underneath the comedy and meeting the woman who has had to continue evolving behind the character.

And we talked about what it needs to reinvent yourself without losing yourself. Pretty B said something during our conversation that really stayed with me. She said she realized she had been a hoarder of relationships, which I can relate. You know, there's this desire that we have to make sure that we bring everybody with us, to help everybody, to make room for everybody, to believe in everybody. And sometimes the hardest thing to accept is that you can love somebody and still have to release them. So whether you are evolving in your career, your relationships, your faith, or simply in the way you see yourself, I think there is something in this conversation for you. I'm curious. A lot of times when people are funny, people don't understand what it takes the cause connected to them being funny.

I watched the Eddie Murphy documentary on Netflix, and I was so blown away that though he's put all of these characters out, stand up, like we know him for bringing so much humor on the inside. he kind of seemed very introverted, serene, a little quirky. And so I want to know, like, what we receive from you, is that, like, who you are in your core? Ooh, Lord. It is. Like, I'm a character. Okay.

Right? I love entertaining people. I call myself an all-purpose entertainer. Like, I feel like I could do it all, right? And Eddie Murphy has so much layers, so much range, and it's beautiful to see. So for me, I feel like I carry that. I feel like I carry that within. But there is a time and a place.

So sometimes you just can't be acting a fool when it's something that serious, you know, so we have that balance. But I could say that I carry that just like Eddie Murphy and Jim Carrey. Yeah. Have you been that way your whole life? My whole life.

So you was getting trouble in school? When I say, I was come from the back of the classroom to the front. I was loud. I was getting them beaten. Yes, I was. Yes, I was. Okay. So what did your parents facilitate

keeping that gift alive in you while also like making sure that you didn't get kicked out of school? Oh, Lord. see we're not going to call a daddy when we're in trouble but the mom she's going to be like well I told you to stop making that two kids but my mom is such a supporter with everything that I do like she's just like God say you're going to be in the arts so she's like whatever I was doing she's like

is coming because this is what you're supposed to be doing you're supposed to make in the world laugh you're supposed to entertain so when I was in school I just knew like it was something that I was supposed to be doing I'm not supposed to be working here and doing it if she was like you're supposed to be in the arts and you'll see so my mom was the one that was supportive my dad too But of course, when you have a father, because I'm in Jamaican, so we come from a space where it's so disciplined, it's like go get your doctorates or go get a realtor license, go do these things because being a comedy in this comedic world, it's hustling. Look, we need something sustainable, you know, all this hustling all over the place to figure out your gift.

Like, that's a lot. But again, that's why we have to hide in our faith because my mama had it. And she was like, look, watch how my daughter just soar. And here we are. So the comedy comes easy, what comes hard? Ooh, Lord. Okay, now, Bassus Sarah, you're not going to just throw that thing. What a stag and say, I'm just saying, I just want to see.

Oh, Lord, what comes, you said what? What comes hard? Like, comedy comes easy. What's the difficult part of being pretty V? Ooh. I think the difficult part of being me is, hmm. All right. I would say, I wouldn't say believe.

because I do believe in myself, right? But I think, and I don't battle the what ifs or the maybes. I just think it's more of the keeping going part for me, you know? Because you want to, the world is changing so much. So you got to go with what's happening, right? And I like to stay authentic and real and raw, but sometimes what we do, I've been doing this in 2017, so in the comedic space on social media. So I think for me, it's more of like trying to continue to keep flowing with what the temperature is.

So if we're doing streaming, okay, get on the stream. And if we're doing this, we're going. For me, I just try like, okay, I got to keep going. And how do I keep going? I'm reinventing myself, you know, re-centering myself, you know, doing certain things that I normally won't do to try because sometimes we like to stay in our little bubble. And this works. You know, it's been working for nine years.

So let's do it. But I think the hard part is just continue each day to reinvent myself to just make sure I stay afloat. That's, I can imagine how hard that is as the time change. Even I think about like social media, like, Instagram's good for this, TikTok's good for that. So like trying to find, how do I maintain my authenticity while also being like relevant to the method that is being used now? Do you feel like sometimes you learn by trial and error?

Yeah, all day, every day. Yeah. Because like I said, I've been doing this since like nine years and I'm so excited that I was able to transition from social media. Again, when you see like the DC Youngflies, the B. Simone's, the Desi Banks, we all are just having fun on this app. We don't need to be on it, but we're having fun on it, right? And I think because we do have audience that can't come to our shows,

we have, you know, teens that are 16, 18, 15, you know, so they're like, look, all we get to see is watch you guys on social media. Please keep going. So I think for me, it's a lot when you got to just, okay, so what does the people want to see? Do they want me to go back with the booty shorts on, with the pom-poms in my hands, or do they want me to, hey, be this way and, you know,

do the aesthetically things and do this. So every day it's a trial and error. We just got to figure out what works, but just don't lose yourself in the process. I think that's the biggest thing. I was going to say, how do you navigate that, like trying new things without losing yourself? Like, is it once you kind of are already out there? I know for me and my circumstance, like, there have been moments where, like, maybe we push the envelope or something or tried something new. And it wasn't until I was outside of my integrity that I realized, like, I'm probably not going to do that again or that didn't feel aligned.

How do you gauge that for yourself? Discernment. You know, I think for me. It's just I'm so big on discernment. So if that don't align with me, I just don't put myself in there. I don't even care for everybody. Like, we're going to go to streaming. We're going to go here.

We're going to go there. I'm going to open up this. If that doesn't align with V, I'm not doing it, you know? And it's just my belief. So I just always just try to stay raw, real and uncut, you know, but do it in a way that is where we're at in this today's society. Like everyone's not doing what we used to do back then. So we have to clean up. We have to refresh.

Like I said, going back to knowing how to restructure the brand the right way. So, yeah. Do you ever struggle with like family members or friends who would rather you be like a little less raw, a little less real and a little more cut? No, not really. I think that they get what they get, you know. And again, but what I would say is this season that I entered in, it was more of cleaning up things that I felt like with loose. Like when I feel like, oh, I'm doing too much or that's not even what I align with, let's get it going to be a little bit more clean or get a little bit more. tight you know and again my mom's a pastor so one thing about two things for sure I

always say to my mom like you know when I send her my videos before I post I'm like mom you okay with this wait you got to send it to me don't post it like it's all over the place if you got to do that and I'm like mom but I love what I do I think this character is the fans favorite you know like let me do this and she's like well I don't need nobody calling my phone about this but I think now she's like you know what to post you know what not to post you know and this is a season that you're walking in that you have to walk in a space where people are able to look at you with layers,

you know, and that's what I carry. You know, I've always carried that, but now I came up with my devotional, and I was like, you know, I can't do what I used to do and then telling people come over here and on this other side, you know, but I get it, you know, and I think that that's why I'm unapologetically myself and I think people get it, but like you don't have to,

you know, do this to be able to believe in God. You just walk where you need to walk and continue to tell people about him, and keep it moving. So I try to clean up and then I also try to still be myself at the same time. So people could get it.

It can be relatable. Chow, I know this conversation with Pretty V is getting really good right about now, but I had to pause for a moment to talk to you about Wayfair. One thing I've always wanted when it came to creating a home

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It really, because, I mean, I think, I don't know how old you are, but I'm 37. Okay. And I feel like as I have understood what faith means for myself, like there have maybe been things that didn't align with things that I believed as a kid or things that I don't feel like I was taught very well as a child, that like now I'm trying to make my own, but I feel like because we're on social media, people want you to have arrived

and they're not necessarily always willing to go with you on the journey. They're making judgments off of a segment of your life. And so like I feel like I hear you saying like I'm in this metamorphicism where I'm like trying to be authentic to who I know I'm becoming while also not making people feel like I betrayed who I was. Come on.

And that can be very stretching. Yeah. Because again, like again, anybody who follows or supports me know like, oh, Vina, gonna be this loud which I am. But then I also know when to go into places where I can be hey, how are you? It's everything, like, you know, speaking

life or, you know, speaking with some, you know, form of stature or whatever you want to call it. So I just think for me, I could just do both and that's why it's just layers with me, you know? People say I look hood one day and then you're going to have a suit on next. Like, that's just me because, again, you have to be.

For me, I just feel like being authentic and being unapologically yourself and being raw and real. I just think that just, it takes you a long way. And of course, still having God right in the center of my heart. So I just, I go with the flow for sure. Did you have to give yourself permission to release those layers to the world? Because a lot of times people know that they are multi-dimensional, but they are concerned because people only know one version of themselves. So like what type of inner permission did you have to give yourself to say, you know what? I'm going to start showing up as all of myself.

And, you know, maybe a little nerdy. maybe you're fashion girlie maybe I'm funny Who do you have to become to release all of you? I think I just sat with myself and just said it's time You know I don't even think it was a thing It was just like I'm time it's time to just show people that I'm I could model or I could write a book You know I could do these interviews you know I could get off the table and stop twerking on the table and And and do these fashion shows and go on these award shows and host these red carpets

I think it comes with what you're aligned with you know I think that we stay in boxing And I think when we do those things, it just keeps you from evolving. And I think for me, I just is like, look, I'm just going to, this is all of me. Whatever God wants me to do, he going to do it. It's going to line and we're going to walk into it. So that's what I just, I just walk with it. I just feel like it was time for me to show up as my best self. If this chapter of your life had a title, what would it be?

Ooh, I would say unapologetically V. You know, I would say that. You know, this is a season of me being unapologetic, me being. real about everything that I wanted to do whatever I put down on picking back up you know um all things pretty V you know um she she's just layered I think that's what the season would be all three of them things I just named you mentioned like keeping god at the center of everything that you're doing what is one thing that you are learning about God or that God is teaching you about yourself right now oh um letting go um yeah um um oh oh

Lord, we don't have all the time, but I will say this. My cousin told me the day when I was down in Miami, he was like, you're a hoarder of relationships. Like, you will keep them, like, for a long time. Even when they have done you wrong, they've connived you, they try to manipulate you, they try to take from you. You just still keep fighting and fighting and fighting just for them to be around in your journey or just to eat with you at the table that you're at. And for me, I'm just, I think God is teaching me just let go and I got you.

What you're praying for, I can replace that and I could give you greater. You're trying to hold on to something that I've already taken out your life. You know, I think that's the biggest thing with us. We just try to hold on to something that God is already trying to take away because we prayed about it. So when we pray about it, you got to let him do him. But we're still trying to check in, still try to have access, just trying to figure out what's going on. And he's like, no, not this season.

Because when I'm going to take you, it doesn't require them to be along with you. You just got to go and soar and walk into your destiny. So I think I'm learning to let go. And I think he's teaching me that even in my still place, he's just like, you don't need to call. You don't need to check in. If those are your friends, they'll call. If that was your man, he'll circle back. You know, I have it aligned for you.

Just be still. And I hate the word still because I like to move around. And I, of course, us as creators all in this room, we tend to. to think and we tend to sit in our secret place and to look about all the traumas and the things and the things we could have done better or just things we want to do tomorrow and that's what I used to be fearful of like I don't want to be in my head but sometimes God would allow that so he could show you what I'm taking care of that there's no more residue like you're free from it all so I'm just learning how to let go and it's hard do you have control issues oh okay if I could

take this YSL off and get up in that um week um uh uh I don't I won't say I do have control issues. I think I would say that I like what I like. I like what I like. I like what I like. And I like it a certain way. But not a way that's controlling. Me and my friend just talked about it.

She was like, do you think I'm controlling? She's like, no, I just think you just, you know, a little bit. You know, you like what you like? You think I'm controlling? I know. I didn't say. I just met you. I know.

But you asked the question. Is it a word? Sometimes when people have a difficult time letting go, which I have had before, it's because it's also a loss of, you know, control and, you know, having to step into a certain lane of uncertainty. Okay. And, you know, uncertainty creating, you know, a lot of discomfort can sometimes make us hold on to what we know, even if what we know isn't necessarily what God has for us. I'm not, do you feel something on that?

Oh, well, you said it. We're taking a small pause for the cause because I need to put y'all onto Aqua Omega. You know, as I'm getting older, I'm realizing I cannot just function off of tea in a dream. At some point, I have to actually give my body what it needs. So I've become a lot more intentional about my everyday routine, making sure that I'm getting my vitamins, taking care of myself, and getting my daily dose of omega-3s. Omega-3s have become one of those things that make the cup for me because they support so much. of what I'm trying to be intentional about as I get older, brain function, cognitive health, and overall wellness. And considering most of us aren't eating enough fatty fish to get meaningful

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Thanks to Aqua Omega for sponsoring this episode. Our theme this year is all about going rogue. So for us, this is looking at things that have been unhealthy, limiting that we know is keeping us from stepping into the full of what God has for us. Okay. And so what does it mean for you in this season to go rogue? I would say for me, I'm going back to, again, the letting go part. Just really living freely.

And whatever is aligned with me will come back to me, even if I lost it. And it may come back in a refresh way. It may come back in a way that makes sense. And sometimes things don't come back. Maybe just God wants you to just behold and walk in this with, nobody attached to you. Just you and two people, three people, even one, your mama, somebody, you know. So I think for me just living freely, you know, and being unapologically myself, I think it's old. Again, going back to being a hoarder of friends and people that I should have

been let go. It's just like, no, that don't, that don't align with you. And why is that, why do you want to keep carrying people with you because you feel like you want to change your help or, you know, going back to control if you want to control a thing? You know, just let God work with them. You're not him. And let him just, because I'm a person that I like to make over people, right? And I like to clean. I like to make sure, like, hey, if I got on something nice,

hey, wear my shirt or wear my jury or come and just make sure this is good. Like, you know, just come along. Like, they got two tickets to the game. We say, and courtside, come on, you know. And sometimes when my mom tells tell me, she always says, everybody can't go. Yeah. Sometimes you don't bring everybody. If they don't want to go, they don't want to go.

And sometimes my spirit says, she ain't your friend, so she ain't going. You know, so you know how that go. So I think for me, I'm more of that person and that friend to come on, come with me. And sometimes it drains the person who's doing it. You know, sometimes it holds you back. See, a delay is never denial. So when you are just delaying yourself, it's just like, okay, okay, I'm delaying things up. But I believe in my friend or I believe that they can do what I'm doing.

I could believe that there's a position and assignment for them too. And it's like, no. So just let it go and let God orchestrate your whole thing. So for me, I would just say, just live in freelance. and just not worrying about who comes and who goes and just what does Vena have going on? That's so hard because I feel like we often want people to grow at the same pace as we do.

And when they don't, we're like, that's all right. I can put some wind underneath your sails and you can keep going. And now I'm not growing at the pace that I could have been growing at because I'm trying to spend my energy helping someone else. What, like, fruit have you received as a result of letting go?

Like, do you find yourself more peaceful, more clear? What's some of the benefit of being able to let go? Yeah, I did a 40-day fast in January, and I could say this, pastor, I've been at peace, more at peace. You know, my discernment, each day I'm asking God to heighten it. You know, each day I'm just like, God walk with me because I don't know what tomorrow looks like, but just show me and walk with me so I could just continue to show up as my best self. Because, again, going back to doing so much, I've done so much, and I know that there's more to be done.

And I feel like this is the only beginning for all of us in this room, even for yourself. So I just feel as though for me it's just more of like just I'm excited about today. I'm excited about tomorrow, even if I don't know about it. So I think it's more of like I just released everything on my fast. I gave it to him and I'm just at peace. I'm better of letting go. Like, okay, everyone can't come. It's a new year.

Okay, let's just go. You go now. So that's where I'm at. So you mentioned your mom's a pastor. Has she like been in ministry your whole life? Yes. So you're a P.K. Yes.

Tell me about that. Hello. Oh, Lord. Going back to what we talked about, it's just like permission. Like, I'm saying you this video, Mom. What you think about it? And I stopped doing that. 2019 was the last time she got a video for me.

I'm like, look, I'm not going to get on her nerves, you know. I love it. I think it's a powerful covering, you know, especially what we do. You know, of course, you being a pastor as well, you know, but you touch so many people and speak life into so many people that you have to stay covered yourself. So for me, my mom is like my best friend. You know, I love her so much.

And she's a big covering, and I need that. You know, I need that person beside me through it all, you know, because I know about the anxiety. I know about the depression. I know about being in your head. I know about the trauma. So, you know, those spaces where we get to Wusa, to call our moms and to talk to them about our day is just a great feeling for me.

So she's a great individual, and she's definitely been praying for me down, weeping and moping and hobbling and chabala. I feel like there's a beauty. Like my mom and I have a close relationship as well, which I know is a privilege. I talk to a lot of women who haven't been able to experience close relationships with their mothers.

And I think there's something to be said about coming into womanhood and being able to see your mother, not just as your mother, but as a woman too. And I feel like that's part of what builds a friendship. Have you guys always been closer? Was there a defining moment in your... relationship. We've always been close.

Okay. Like always. Like I said, like of course we have our differences and of course her being Caribbean and the upbringing is totally different. But she's always reminding me of my calling. She's always reminding me of go, just go. Like, you know, one day I was so emotional. I had to go to Paris and I was like, Mama, I just got to get things done and I got to just figure this out. She's like, go. Go, honey. You only live in life, it's just that big support system, that big cheerleader. You know, when no one else sees V, she's like, I see you. You know, so I just love that.

We've always had a close relationship, for sure. When you're having those days where you don't feel like yourself, where you're like, you know, I don't feel like being funny today. Oh, Lord. What do you do in those moments? Wow. I'm a workout junkie. So I find something to do is working out.

What's your favorite? Like, we're lifting, Pilates. We're lifting. We're stretching it out, pasta. We leg up. drop it to the low, weights, period, squatting it on out. Like, that's me.

But then I like to hike, you know, we do a lot of that. My friends, I love my friends. So it's like I'm always having them over or just doing something with them or traveling, going back home to Miami and just traveling different cities. And just really, really, I love working. So anytime I'm working, I'm feeling great, you know. And if we're not working, we find it something to do. So it's just, if I'm not being funny, I'm just doing some things that's what Vina likes to do.

Whatever I put down, I'm picking up. It's like a perfect day for you. By the beach. Okay. Oh, Lord. Atlanta don't got that. By the beach or by the pool. Somewhere nice and hot and just, you know, warm.

And I can just read my books. I could vibe. A nice spa day. A nice shopping day. A nice little girl outing. Just chill. What kind of books are we reading? Oh, Lord.

I love Mel Robbins. I am, yeah. And, of course, the pretty big. from every morning, I tell you, I go get that. But I'm reading just, I think I'm big on like affirmation. So I go through this book that I got from the store the other day. It says a book for girls. And I've been reading that a lot.

And I've been reading a lot of Joyce Myers books too, loving someone who's hard to love. So I've been diving into that book too. I haven't heard that. I have to check that one out. Yeah. I love, love Joyce. So yeah. You created the name Pretty V.

So like, tell me a little bit about like this is how I want to be known. Ooh. Pretty V. My heart. I want people to know my heart. When it's all said and done, she had a good heart. She walked into integrity. She was always funny.

She was always fly. She was always goofy. She was always speaking life into someone. Don't care who it is on the side of the road. I'm going to speak life. I'm going to big up my friends if they feel low. I'm going to bring up a stranger if I feel like they don't have the confident that's needed because we all lack something. So if I could be a helping hand, I'm going to do that.

Right. And, you know, our all-purpose entertainer, comedian, entrepreneur, philanthropist, an author now. I love people. And I just think the biggest thing for me is just always just be kind. You know, I'm not perfect, but I don't treat people bad. So I just want people to remember me as just my heart. Wherever a smiley face, just think of V. Because it's like, she's, I'm going to leave this place with something. I'm going to give someone something or someone's going to give me something. And I just think it's always a great thing to do to just always give out. And you know God just going to always give it back, for sure.

What made you choose the name Pretty V? Like of all things you could be called? I used to call myself cute in school. I never said I was pretty and then later. You know, I had confidence, but I never said, I'm pretty. So I always say I'm cute. I used to be in all the pageants in the world. But I used to be like, I'm cute.

My mom'd be like, you're pretty, you know? And I just be like, I'm cute, I'm cute. You know, so I think it was a confidence thing for me. You know, I think in college I didn't really have a lot of confidence like that. So I used to be like, well, let's just say pretty V. Let's challenge that, you know? Let's challenge the Pretty V. And I think that's what that name came by.

Mom said, that's just so vain. I said, you pretty, but you ain't had a name Pretty Vee. So I'm like, okay, Mom, watch. It's going to work. And I had that name 2014. And I had, yes, I'm PrettyV on, like, all my Facebook. and it was a TikTok thing, but Facebook and like little MySpace here and there. And here we are.

I just never called myself, oh, you're pretty. Like, everyone used to say that or you're beautiful, but I used to just like, oh, I'm cute. And I just, I mean, because you're gorgeous. Thank you so much. It's hard to believe that you didn't have confidence growing up. A lot of people feel like, oh, my gosh, if I look like that or if I had this and had that, then I would have confidence. But I hear you saying that you can be in a body and a face is.

pretty as yours are and still struggle with confidence. Yeah, it was that for me in college. I was like, and like I said, I've heard it all my life like, you're beautiful, these pageants and all the things that I've done. But when I got to college, it was like something just was just like, oh, I'm not being seen. I don't feel seen, you know? So it's like I feel cute. Like, I'm cute.

Like, I'm okay. But I was always that ringleader of everybody, like, just lead and everybody. Like, come on. Like, you know? But for me, I was like, well, I don't, I'm just cute. and I changed my name. Like when I got into college, I was like, I can pretty V. And then that was that.

So what does keep you grounded now? Because you are like Pretty V. And you've got so much success that you've accomplished. And still, I'm sure, so much that's still in your heart to do. What keeps you grounded? I'm going to be honest, pastor, my faith. You know, like I said, going back to not thinking I was cute, when I got out of college, I was like, oh, I am pretty.

Like, this is, I am seeing, you know. Not because I got viral. on Instagram, it was just the faith, the confidence that I grew over time where my relationships won't with God, but also just with myself. Because, you know, he's, of course, you're in the word, you know, that you could gain those confidence, but you have to feel it. You know, you have to know that you're that girl. So when I got to college, I was depressed. I had anxiety. I was in my head so much, you know? And then after a while, I'm like, okay, cool. I know that the prophecy that I heard from my mom speaking to me in middle school that you're going to be in the arts

have to come to pass because God don't lie. So I'm like, okay, we got to figure it out. So from then I was just like, okay, like I feel great. And now I could introduce a face to the name, Pretty V. You know, in 2015, that's when things got all viral and all that stuff. So yeah, now we're here. But I feel great. I feel great.

And I think I'm happy that I chose that name to put attached to me because it has definitely been places, you know. So, yeah. When you said that you wanted to be known, for your heart. I'm like people hear Pretty V and they probably think about of course your outer beauty, but it sounds like the work that you've done on the inside that Pretty V is more of a reflection of the work that you've done in your heart. And I feel like a pretty heart is so much different than just like having a good heart because a pretty heart has to be cultivated, it has to go through things, right? And just like a garden, like there are moments where there's weeds in it and there's

growth that takes place. You talk about going through depression and anxiety and I'm wondering what was cultivated in you in those moments because there's someone listening right now who maybe they're going through depression, they're going through anxiety. What would you tell them if they're trying to find their pretty heart in this season of their life? I would say, and that's what I called my devotion of the pretty victory, because it's not about a face. It's not about how you move or how you look or how you dress. It's within. So I would say to any soul that's watching, that's in this room, You know, you can get up again, you know, and you can fight through it, you know, and walk in that light of victory, of being victorious, of being beautiful inside and out, you know, because I get it. I understand about the depression, not getting up, not going to sleep for three months, like just up, you know.

And I understand the fight to say, am I worth it? I'm being seen. Do I belong? You do belong, you know, your light shines, you know? So just keep at it, keep going, keep being prayerful. And keep trusting in God. That's what I would say. Beautiful.

Yeah. Okay, so we have some fun questions. We're going to ask you before we go. The girls want to know, how has your journey changed what you look for in a partner? Ooh. Come on now. Oh, Lord. Alignment.

You got to be aligned with me. And you got to be aligned with God, pastor. First things first. First thing first. Yeah. I don't know nothing about it. you got to be aligned. I don't know about a crystal,

or about a ball. All I know about is Jesus Christ. So you got to be aligned with the purpose. And not even, you just have to be aligned with your purpose. And that purpose is with God as well. And if it's not your first thing on your list, we can't talk.

What are we saying to the girls who are dating in this season? How are we encouraging them? I mean, I would say, if believers are watching, the ones that's still trying to figure it out, I think you should just really and truly have that discernment.

we got to have discernment when we have when we're trying to find these men out here because it's just like you don't know if that's aligned with me I don't want to talk to you like I don't feel like me and your vibe connects because something's off and you can feel it

you know and everybody's out here for everybody so you have to watch and see who's out here for you because everybody's not for you and then again going back to delay it's never to nine you could just lay up delay up your whole blessings because you get that one person and you're like oh he cute he fine he looks like more chest not like, all these different things, and it don't be aligned.

Yeah. It's just all over the place now. I do feel like, you know, I think the greatest gift that a woman who is single can give herself is finding new ways to fall in love with herself. That too. Yeah. That too. I think holding up your life trying to wait on somebody, I feel like he needs to catch you in motion. But I also feel like, too, it's just like, you got to be that before you try to search for someone.

Yeah. You got to be that. Yeah. Like, you got to stand tall in that book. You can't be like, but where um, little ooze yet. And then it's like you not whole yourself. Like you have to get it. And again, there's always work to be done.

But you got to be whole before you try to search for your bow ass, for show. Period. Okay. The girls want to know what's your go-to comfort show? Moesha. A. M to the. Mote.

Late nights or early mornings. I'm an early morning girl. Really? How early? Ooh. Like a little six. Okay. That's early enough.

Eight. Yeah. Well, eight is getting... It's getting late. But six, for sure. Six is early. Well, I mean, I have kids to get them up for school.

Yeah. I love staying up late, though. It's my favorite thing to do. I'm going to sleep. I can't watch no movie for long. Do not have me on front of no TV. I'm going to be the first one out. No.

Don't put me... I'm going to be the first one out. But in the morning, five o'clock, six. I'm up. Okay. Scripted or improv? Improv. Really?

Do it right now. Improved. Who told you to do that back now? Nobody. The Lord just dropped this in my spirit. Do I have to give you a thing or you just going for it? Okay, I want you to improv. Jesus.

I want you to improv your mother coming, your mother hearing that they're taking me to Magic City to get wings. improv. So you want to be my mom? I want you to be your mother. And she catch me going into Magic City. To get some wings. Okay.

Magic City, about some wings, girl. Get your red. Period. We feel like you've heard that voice before. I have. You know her well. But it's more Caribbean than that.

Okay. What's something ordinary that you find beautiful? Ooh. My big toe That big toe is Is it longer than the second toe Because you know there's theories No mine's like this

It's not the same length But it's like it's yeah okay Like TV screen I like TV screen And the tone is it the toenail It's just that like what is it about that big toe It's just so cute I just could put it up

Twist it aside bend it back You don't got a regular toe That's I'm saying We ain't got a muscle in that toe on the internet are you clapping back or staying silent? I used to clap back when I'm staying silent this season. Period. First thing you noticed when meeting someone?

They teeth. Now, pasta, if that teeth is going this away and that away and it's gunk in there, I can't talk to you. We can take them to a dentist. Okay, well, they got to be willing to go. They got to go there first. They got to go there first. No, seriously, if it's a gunk in it, I can't talk. Build your mount rush more of comedians.

Jim Carrey, Eddie Murphy, Robin Williams, Martin, Pretty be. And I would do, I mean, she's dope, though. Her movies are always comedic. I would say Melissa McCarthy, because I just love her. She's just so funny. I'm beautiful.

Last question. I knew I was evolving when? I knew I knew I. I was evolving when I started to let go. Full circle. Full circle. Thank you. Yes.

Thank you so much. I appreciate you so much. And I just want to, can I say this? You are so beautiful. Thank you. Inside and out. It's so crazy because July of last year, I think two years ago, I said, I can't wait to meet you. Like, literally, like, I'm always, it's always in alignment with the blessings.

Like, and I just showed my home grad this morning. I was like, oh my God, it's so funny. I wrote her. And like, now I'm speaking with her. Yeah. So I just want to say, just continue to just be encouraged. You are just so awesome and your story is beautiful. And thank you just for allowing us black girls to just continue to just stay inspired

and get up again and just reach for the stars because you're doing it, you know, and just continue to keep walking in your authentic path and your unapologetically path because you're just dope. And just continue to just keep being beautiful. And there's no more residual. do no more because you're just so awesome and God sees it and I know that he is happy and approving of you so just you're where you're supposed to be and it's only going to get bigger and better so just thank you for just having me it was beautiful thank you for your obedience thank you

thank you thank you I hope that this episode reminded you that the evolution is not always about adding more sometimes it's about you having the courage to release what no longer fits as you're moving through this week, I want you to ask yourself, what am I ready to let go of so I can make room for who I'm becoming? Until next time, keep evolving, keep choosing alignment, and give yourself permission to become every version of who God created you to be. Lord, thank you so much for the opportunity to connect and serve and comfort the women who you have entrusted us with at Women Evolve. God, each of us are carrying our own burden. our own need to be transformed by the renewing of our mind, to forgive, to make room for hard

truths, and to allow ourselves space to just trust you in the midst of it all. So God, I just pray for your presence, for your comfort, for your peace, to be with us and to guide us as we embrace whatever our next looks like. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen. If you enjoyed today's episode, make sure you like this video and subscribe to the YouTube channel and make sure you're staying connected with everything happening in the WOMENEvolve world. Head over to WOMENEvolve.com for upcoming events like the Rogue Route Tour and all the ways you can be a part of what we're doing. If you're trying to pull up on us for tour, I want you to head over to Womenevolve.com

slash tour so that you can get all of the information on when we will be in a city near you. That's going to be in October. Once again, we are going to Detroit, Chicago, St. Louis, Memphis, Birmingham, Nashville, and San Antonio. I want to see your face in this space. So visit womanevolve.com slash tour and get your ticket now. Thank y'all for hanging out with me and more importantly for trusting me enough to let me mind your business.