Woman Evolve with Sarah Jakes Roberts - Your Messy History Is Part of Your Destiny

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

It's Sarah Jakes Roberts, and you are listening to the Woman Eval podcast. Listen, I'm about to tell you, like, I feel in my spirit, this is going to be one of the most, I'm going to say random, but I really do feel like there's going to be oil on it. Like, I really do feel like it's going to come full circle. So I'm going to need you to buckle your seatbelt, hold onto your wig, and go on this journey with me. For the last few weeks, we've been talking about the women who have made history, in particular, the history of the women who made history. And I feel like I feel like, as I was preparing for this week's episode, that there is a framework that I probably should have started with. Don't you hate when you think better after you did what you did? You know what I mean? Like, don't you hate how the thoughts get better after the thoughts are already outside your head. So if I would have framed this probably, I would have said this from the beginning, but it's the last one. And it's never too late. So this is what I want to say to you is this. One, I want to give definition to what it means to make history. I feel like this is really. important because when I hear this idea of making history, I honestly immediately go to fame

and having a platform and maybe being influential. And yet I realize that there are so many people who make history who don't necessarily have platforms and weren't necessarily influential to masses but were influential to one or two. And that is how they made history. And so when we think about the definition of what it means to make history, I want you to hold this in your mind. To make history is to do something that is remembered in or influences the course of history. So let's think about your life for a minute and the people who have left an impact on your life, they have done something that you remember that changed the course of your life, that changed the course of your day. I think that when we consider it this way, that it becomes

even more possible for us to understand the reality that each of us have the ability to make history each and every single day. The only issue with each of us having the ability to make history every single day is that there's another reality, is that while we are in the pursuit of making history, we have to grapple with the reality that we have a history, that there are things that have happened to us that have shaped us and influenced the course of our history, which is why I wanted to spend these last few weeks talking to you about the history of the women who made history, because you may know their names, but you don't necessarily know all that they had to overcome in order to be who they were. A lot of times we have complicated histories, things that marked us

and changed us and challenged us to not overcome or to become. the best version of ourselves. And when a woman finds a way to not give up on herself, when a woman finds a way to believe what God says about her, when a woman finds a way to lift her head up again, to square her shoulders, to dream again, to love again, to forgive, man, she's doing that many times while also defying her history. Because history tells a story. And so, Sometimes the story that history tells predicts a future that would cause pain, that would cause grief or heartbreak. And yet, when we decide to defy that history and to dare to live like what happened to us, what happened when we were kids, what happened when we were younger, doesn't have to define us. Well, it means that we get to change our destiny.

So as much as I am talking about the history of the woman who made history, I just want to remind you that, one, all of us are historical in some way. And many of us are defying our history in order to step into our destiny. And I guess that's the whole point of going rogue. Do you mind if I tell you like, you know, I feel like I should have a Bible study that is like called Bible literatee, but because not like literacy, right? walk with me talk with me it's not like literacy we're saying literate tea right because the bible sometimes be having that piping hot literate tea for um my daughter just came in here and distracted me hi honey it's spring break the bible be having that piping hot tea and if you don't know it like if you are not and sometimes you don't know it right because oh my goodness okay i'm going to say

you this sometimes we don't know because we open up the bible and it's like oof it just the dots don't connect. They're just not connecting. If you've ever felt that way, some people open the Bible when it comes alive for them, okay? I'm not talking about y'all. Y'all take a break.

I'm talking to somebody else for a minute. Sometimes you open up your Bible and you're like, this doesn't make sense. I don't understand the language. Can I tell you something that's going to like, boom, blow your mind? The Bible was not written with you in mind.

Walk with me, talk with me. The Bible was written inspired by God to certain prophets, certain disciples, and they were writing these letters to be circulated and read amongst communities that did not necessarily have us and our culture in mind. So if you've ever opened up the Bible and thought to yourself, there's a disconnect between what I'm reading and where I am. It's true. There is a disconnect. That doesn't mean that it's insurmountable. It just means that you may have

to take a little bit more time to study. It's kind of like watching Gladiators. we you know denzel was just in the last one and you know you're watching it and it takes you a little minute it takes you a little minute to understand like what are we doing here what are the language takes you minutes to attach the cadence that's the same thing when you open your bible like it may take you a minute to really understand the cadence of what's happening and the culture and which is taking place and by a minute i don't mean 60 seconds i mean it may take some time and that's why they have different translations like the new american standard version and the niv to try and make it a little bit more relatable,

but honestly, sometimes with those translations, it's still a little bit hard. And so I feel like I want to do something that's biblical, like biblical literatee, where we really talk about like the Bible, it's context, the culture, and how it relates to where we are now. I try to do that in my sermons,

but it's a lot to navigate. And I'm trying to get that time down. I'm trying to get that time down. It's like the more I know and learn and study, the more I want to share, but also the girlies want to go to brunch. And so, you know, maybe no one cares, maybe they do. I'd be in my head about how long it is. Anyways, can you please stay focused so we can

stay on topic with what we're here to talk about today. I want to tell you one of the most biblical literate stories that you may or may not have heard. Her name is Tamar. It's in Genesis 38. If you read this, it's an interesting story. She's from this. I'm going to try and like, you know, translate it into a, you know, modern day. And I didn't even think this through, so this is going to be something. I'm trying to translate into a modern day version. Tamar is from Dallas and she's from Dallas, raised in Dallas. There's a certain culture, certain community in Dallas. Well, she messes around and she marries somebody from Fort Worth. Okay, so Dallas girlies and Fort Worth fellas, they don't, they don't usually get along, right? And so she was a Canaanite woman and she married someone who was

from the tribe of Judah. And there was some, I'm going to use the word maybe prejudice. There was some, you know, stigma attached to marrying someone outside of your tribe, right? And yet she falls in love. Well, falls in love is probably a strong word because at that time people weren't necessarily marrying for love.

But anyway, she marries someone from the tribe of Judah. The only problem is the person that she marries dies. Okay, well, within this. custom and culture at that time. If a woman die, if a woman loses her husband, then the person who is next of kin has to take care of her. It's a kinsman redeemer. And so his brother then marries this woman. But the brother, he commits, okay, oh, wait, wait, wait. I said he died. Let me tell you, he didn't just die. So, oh, this is, this is, this is, this is tea? Well, is it, is it, is it Okay, here's the thing.

So Tamar from Dallas marries Aaron from Fort Worth. So Tamar and Aaron get married. Please tell me why. Aaron, like while everybody would be thinking like, oh, Tamar is the one who got the come up, oh, Tamar is on the outside of the tribe, and she ended up marrying Aaron. Please tell me why, low-key, the Lord looks at Aaron

and is like, Aaron, actually you're the wicked one and kills him, slays him. He was slain for his wickedness by God. So meanwhile, while everybody thinking like Tamar, this Canaanite woman who's from the outside tribe who has all of these different gods is really the one who like came up, she ends up marrying into a family where the person she married was actually the one who had wickedness. As a part of the custom and culture of the family, though, when a woman is widowed, then that person's husband or family members then has to redeem her virtue and redeem her value

by making. her one of their wives. And so the person who was the next person in line to be her husband because she lost her husband was his brother. Tell me why. Tamar marries Aaron. Aaron is slain for being wicked. Aaron's brother, Omar, Omar's like, I'm going to marry you, but I'm not going to try and have no kids with you. I'm going to marry you, but whatever happened when my brother, when he married you, I'm not really sure about you. So I'm going to marry you, but I'm going to make sure I ain't going consummate it, okay? And so, and so,

cover the kids' ears. This is a warning. I'm giving you five seconds. Four seconds. Three, two, one. Omar pulls out. He's like, I don't want to get you pregnant, so he pulls out.

So he pulls out on Tamar. So now Tamar's married to Omar. Omar's supposed to be, like, you're supposed to be my king, right? You're supposed to be the one that's taking care of me. You're supposed to be the one where I can have a son so my virtue as a woman can be restored and because I wasn't able to have children with your brother

because the Lord said, just your brother really wasn't all that. But please tell me why. The Lord looks at Omar like you playing games. You play, so you got to go too. So then Omar II is slain. Make it make sense. The Lord was like, no wickedness on my watch.

So the Lord killed Omar too. Okay, so now Omar's daddy and Aaron's daddy is looking at Tamar like, you marry my first son. He's gone. You marry my second son. He gone, I got a younger son. But I don't really know if I want you to marry my younger son. But he couldn't say that right because the younger son was still too young to get married. So he said, how about this? You go home. You go home. You go back to where you came from. I'm away to my son get older. And then we can spend a block and you can marry him. He knew, he knew down in his soul. He was never going to do that. And so Tamar is like, you know what? As a woman, you got to think about the context and culture of this time. As a woman, if a woman, if a woman doesn't have children, if she's not married. She's considered literally on like the bottom of the totem pole of society and culture. We're talking about the history of the women who made history. I don't worry about it. I'm bringing full circle. She's on the bottom of the totem pole as it relates to the culture and the context in which she lives in. And so she's at her father's house.

Her former husbands have passed away and she can tell that her father-in-law is playing in her face and that she's about to be sent up in this house with no chance for her virtue to be restored, her destiny and no opportunity to marry again because she's tied to this family and she's still supposed to be in line to marry one of these men. And so mama's like, you know what, I'm going to matter into my own hand. So she knows that her father-in-law, he liked to go to the red light district. He liked that red light special. And so she's like, I'm going to dress up as one of the girls. And I'm going to go out there, but I'm going to be in disguise where I'm going to cover my face because I know I don't want him to see me. And so her father-in-law, modern-day version,

he at the red light district. He's trying to see what, pop this is this crazy i'm starting to believe this might be a little bit off but just just walk with me okay um and so they ended up uh so she goes she dresses up she disguises herself father-in-law don't even know it's her he does the do he you know he fully do what he came to do right and then so um she takes a ring from him after they've had their little encounter right and so and So she goes back home and she put her legs up on the headboard. She's like, this was my one shot to try and have my value restored and redeemed. I need to get pregnant.

I'm saying she's trying to trap them. I'm saying she went out there with intention, right? And so then the streets start talking. So the streets start telling the father-in-law like, hey, you know, you told little mama to go back to her house and wait for your son. And even though we knew that she wasn't going to never actually follow through in that promise, they're saying she pregnant. So now father-in-law is like, whoa, how is she out here pregnant when she's supposed to be at the house? Because now she out here, she out here, she out here, she out here on her worst behavior. She out here on her worst behavior.

How could she be out here? And then tell me this. She's like, okay, so he's like, bring her to me because, you know, this is giving off of her head by vibes, right? And so he brings, they have Tamar brought to him. and Tamar's like, before you try it, before you try and just go on and not, you know, take me out, I just want to show you this ring. It was me all along. Surprise, it was me all along.

And so she ended up being pregnant with two sons. And you know what's so wild about this story? And I promise you, if I had to say this in a very comprehensive theological way, I could certainly do it. But I feel like me and you, we don't have to do that. Like, I'm trying to break it down for you in a way that you may understand. Let me tell you what's so powerful about this story is that we got to remember. remember that she was a Canaanite woman, right? She was technically not as righteous as the Jews of that time. She was technically considered an outsider and one who may not fully understand what it was like

to be in relationship and in covenant with God. And yet she takes matters into her own hands. And when Judah finds out that, you know, she actually was the one who was the prostitute, who he slept with that night, he tells her something that was so powerful. Judah says that she has, has been more righteous than I because I did not give her to my son and he never knew her again. He realized that that woman did what she had to do to make sure that ultimately what was ordinated in scripture, what was ordinated in the customs and laws of that time became a reality. She did what he was not willing to do. But what does it say about the fact that she had to accomplish the goal?

in a way that could have brought her shame in a way that could have brought her disgrace, that she accomplished this goal, yes, by any means necessary, but she had to, I'm going to say, diminish herself in some ways to get it done. Which brings up like this interesting perspective about what it means to be a woman who makes history. the women who make history don't necessarily make history because they did everything

the right way. They made history because they found the right in their way. Man. Not that they compromise what it means to be right, but they looked at their situation and their circumstance

and their goal was ultimately because at the end of the day, right, he said, you are more righteous than I. Like, these are the cards that I've been dealt and I want to find a way to get to righteousness

this by any means necessary. And I just find it very interesting. When I think about like the character of God and what it means to be in relationship with God, you know, Tamar did not allow other people's plans, other people's expectations for her life to be her only course of action. And she took a risk. And then taking a risk, who knows what could have happened? She already knows that God was not playing about, you know, wickedness.

But God must have understood, oh, I feel like this is like crystallizing for me a little bit as I talk to you. I believe that God understood that her intention wasn't wickedness. It was righteousness. Even though her ways from the outside looking in, we could say that looked wicked. That looked wicked. What does it say that God looks at that? I mean, because she defied her father-in-law. She pretended to be someone she wasn't all in the pursuit of restoring her virtue and righteousness.

And I think that's why we really have to like trust God with people, trust God with their journeys, even when we don't necessarily agree with their decision making or we don't always understand their decision making. There's something to be said about not drawing a conclusion where God is still writing out a story. Because when we draw a conclusion where God is still writing out a story, we may miss what God is. will allow and what God won't allow. What Tamar did, didn't work for her. I feel like part of the reason why I experienced a lot of grace in my life, and I know it was grace that I didn't and mercy for sure. So I got favor, but I also didn't get what I deserved is because I believe that God knew in my heart what I was trying to accomplish was a righteous goal. I've made a lot of mistakes, and I've made some choices that in the moment I wish that I would have done differently,

but now I'm okay with how my life is panned out. And I felt a lot of weight and guilt about that. But I felt like part of the reason I didn't get what I deserved is because God was looking at my heart, not always my actions. And God understood what was driving those actions. Oh, there it is. You see what happens when you let me talk? She's slow, but she comes together. God understands what drives.

drives our actions. While most people judge our actions, the Lord is looking at what drives them. And he understood what was driving Aaron, whose name was actually Air. He understood what was driving Omar, whose name was actually Onon. He understood what was driving them. And that's why he killed them in those moments because of their wickedness. He must have known that what was driving Tamar was actually something that was geared towards righteousness. And even though, you know, some of her actions may have not been honest or integrous that he understood why she was doing it. And then he brought her to a place where she didn't have to keep tricking. Oh, Lord, I just thank you for being compassionate with us as we try to figure things out,

but also allowing us to get to a place of being settled enough in our identity and our pursuit. that we no longer have to keep on tricking in order to stay there and tricking and scheming. I like this story about Tamar because it gives a lot of credence to who God deems to be righteous and who is allowed to make history despite some of their past that could be complicated. It makes me think about Maya Angelou, Dr. Maya Angelou. She has such an interesting story. I'm not sure if you all knew this. So many of you may know her as the poet, the author, the civil rights activist, but there are a lot of things about her that she made history, but also she made history in a way that required her to defy her own history and to have a past that was a bit complicated.

She shares a story about when she was younger in life that she was silenced. She was abused as a child. And after she was abused, she told her family and her family's response. to that abuse was killing the man who abused her. And she began to believe that the fact that she told, the fact that she used her voice was the reason why he died. And so she stopped speaking for nearly five years. Now think about that for a moment. Her voice is so powerful and so distinct that even though she has passed on, if you hear Dr. Maya Angelou's voice, you know it immediately. But that voice was almost robbed at a young age when she's

stopped speaking because of what she went through. She became selectively mute. From there, she had one of the most dynamic backgrounds, life, and career. She was a streetcar conductor. She was one of the first black women in San Francisco to do that. But she was also a singer and a nightclub performer. She was a dancer and an actress. She was a madam. Okay. And yet, when we think about her life and her journey, oftentimes we think about the words that she gave us, the poetry that she gave us. And I believe it just goes to show that, one, when we have a history that challenges us, that changes the way that we remember things, that we get to choose whether or not that history gets to write our destiny. But then we also have to be willing to acknowledge the fact that what we become known for,

or what other people end up coming to see as our standard is actually something that we had to fight for, or something that is completely different from where we began. And I feel like it's important for you to know that as we think about what it means to make history. So for Tamar to become someone who was deemed as righteous, and she goes on to have children, and she ends up being in the lineage of Jesus Christ, she's one of the women mentioned in the lineage of Jesus Christ, which was, and it's a whole other theological aspect of how powerful it is that a woman who wasn't Jewish is a part of the lineage of Jesus Christ, which means that Jesus was always going to represent not just the Jews, but also

Gentiles, people who weren't Jews. It was always meant for us to be a part of the identity of Christ so that we could be a part of the resurrection and redemption that Christ would offer. but her ultimate defining historical impact required that she went through some things. And the same is true for Maya Angelou and the same is going to be true for you. And I think the same is true for me. Sometimes I think about my life and how different it is from what I had in mind. I can't believe that I'm a Bible thumper. Like I can't believe that I'm a Bible thumper because I'll just leave it at that.

because, you know, thumping, possibly by, no, no, absolutely not. But God can take a scene from your life and build a story that when it's all said and done, that those moments are forgettable. The things that plague you right now that feel like they'll always plague you, the things that you feel like will be the lens that always define you. They made history in your life, but they do not have to define what's next for you. And just because they made history for your life, it doesn't mean that that's the story that's going to be told over and over again. I feel like that's redundant.

Like I've said it a few times, but I just really want that to become a part of how you're showing up in the world in these days and seasons that can feel very long and definitive. There's an opportunity for you to be reminded of the reality that what you're experiencing right now, no matter what it is that you're going through, that it can always change. I don't know how old you are. I don't know what stage of life you're in, but there is something in me that wants you to know that things can always change. The history of the women who made history, sometimes they made change happen for themselves.

And there's nothing more powerful than making change happen for yourself after you've had change thrust upon you in ways that you would have never asked for. When you've had change happened to you in ways that you could have never accounted for, I want you to be empowered to make change happen for yourself. We get into this rhythm where we begin to believe that life is just happening to us. But maybe for you going rogue is for you to happen to life. for you to wake up and begin to make some choices about what you will settle for,

about what you will wait for, but most importantly, what you will no longer wait for. We could wait for someone to be the solution or we could dare to make ourselves a part of the solution. We could dare to be, and this is what, okay, I want to say this because when we dare to make ourselves

a part of the solution, we have to understand what am I being driven by? We know at the time that Tamar was being driven. Part of the reason why Judith said she's more righteous than I is because she was more willing to be unrelentless in the pursuit of what would bring her to a place of righteousness than he was willing to be. What is driving your desire to make sure that you are settled and established? You want to make sure that you're not being driven by pride, by ego, by fear.

Let me tell you, your destination still may not. change, but it may change the way that you drive to get there. So at the end of the day, like my destination, when I was in my 20s and I was going through so much, it's like, I really wanted a safe and stable life for my son. And I wanted him to experience security and I wanted him to have a happy childhood. And so I'm like, if I get married, then that'll make sure that that happens. And, you know, I got married, but that didn't necessarily ensure that that happened. And then I was like, forget it, I won't do anything at all. I'm just going to like take care of him and I'll while out and ball out a little bit, but I wasn't taking care of myself. And here I am now living in

the realization of what I was ultimately hoping for, but I changed what was driving me. When I got to a place where I just wanted to be driven by taking care of myself, and isn't that ultimately what Tamar was trying to do? Like, I wanted to take good care of myself. I wanted to take good care of myself. I wanted to take care of my soul, of my spirit, of my body, of my mind, of my emotions. And when that became the number one thing that drove me, it changed everything. I didn't have an opportunity to ever meet Dr. Maya Angelou. I don't know what she would have deemed as her turning point in her life. But I can't imagine there was something to be said about her getting to a place even when she was silenced as a young child

where she decided to no longer be driven by the fear that using my voice could result in violence towards someone else. She developed a deep love of literature and language during that time and maybe that's what ultimately inspired her is that she discovered a love for words that dared her to use her own voice.

And if you're going to make history, you got to do it from a place of love. If you're going to make history, you got to do it from a place of love. of a pursuit of righteousness. If you're going to make the kind of history that matters, there's tons of people, I guess, making history that doesn't really matter.

But I just don't feel like we're in a season right now where we can afford to make history with things that are frivolous, with things that are not impactful enough to change the life and course of other people. So history, right? When we go back to that definition, it's about doing something that is remembered

in or influenced the course of history to be able to ask yourself, I wonder what it would take for me to influence the course of history. Maybe it's not global, maybe it's not national, but the course of the history in my family. I want to do something that influences the course of history for my family. What path has your family been taking? Let's start one, as it relates to just being in relationship with God and integrity and righteousness, What is the history that your family has? And what would it look like for you to influence that history towards a direction that gets

one step closer to righteousness? What would it look like for you to influence the course of history within your family as it relates to physical wellness or academia? And what would it look like for you to be a part of changing the course of history for your family? Continue to expand that net and to ask yourselves those questions. But what I want you to do more than anything is I want you to acknowledge the ways that you have already influenced the course of history within your family, your community, your culture. No matter how big the influence is or how small it is, every drop of influence that leads us greater to a greater goal of health, of wealth, of wholeness is a step worth acknowledging and a step

worth celebrating. And so I want to challenge you to take inventory of the work you've already done. That's necessary because it helps you to understand, one, I'm already doing it. I've already done it. And so as I embark on something new or as I set a new goal or a new target, I get to do so armed with the confidence that it's already been done before. And because I know that it's already been done before, then I don't have to have pressure on myself. I'm not sure if these people had the pressure that often, I'm not sure if these people had the pressure that we often feel nowadays when having to be something or do something. Social media puts a lot of pressure on us to be and become and to do. But what would it look like for us to be anchored, rooted, and established

while also exploring the depth of what God placed inside of us and exploring the hunger within us and allowing us to be fed and sustained by the knowledge of who God is and the desire to please him and what we do to be filled with the Lord's Spirit and to take bold steps that push back darkness and establish the kingdom of heaven. I've enjoyed having this series with you, this conversation about the history of the women who made history. I pray that as you listen back to this, because maybe it's something that you'll listen to more than once, that you experience some restoration and revelation and clarity for your own walk and journey,

that you will get to a space where history and making history doesn't feel daunting, nor does it feel exclusive because we all have a role to play and the ability to make history. And it is my prayer that you will take your role seriously because I need you and we need you. Please forgive me for that, most ghetto. So please forgive me for that urban dictionary of a Bible translation. You should read Genesis 38. And maybe if you're one of those people who's like, listen, it's a little melatonin in these pages. It's a little melatonin.

When you read Genesis 38 with that lens or filter, maybe it'll make it a little bit easier for you to understand what's happening. I'll tell you because when I first read about Tamar early on, I was like, I have no idea why this is a story that anyone would want in anybody's, mentality because it seemed like she was lying, she was tricking, it seemed like I was getting angry people. I don't understand what's the virtue here. And then understanding the context and the culture helped me to understand how she was showing up in a way that was truly beautiful. And so, I hope that you dive a little bit deeper into your Bible and that you get a little bit more literate while also pursuing literacy. And I can't wait to talk to you all next week. next week, I am going to share with you all the message that God gave me at, hey, you,

I believe it's going to be a blessing for you. I don't even know what it's going to be yet because I'm recording this before the message, but I just believe prophetically God's going to say something. It's not often. I usually don't get to just speak to women anymore because I'm usually speaking on Sundays and I don't travel as much. I used to travel to a lot of women's conferences. So I'm excited about the opportunity to literally just see God about what he's saying to women.

And I feel so blessed that he gets to say it through me. So I love you all tremendously. Lord, help us to sort through our history to look at the ways that it is attempting to define our destiny and challenge us to embrace your truth, your narrative over anything that has been embedded in our history. You know the things that we remember, the things that have influenced us. You know the history. of the women who are listening to this podcast and the ways that it is trying to restrict us from stepping into our identity. And God, I just pray a special blessing over these women, God, that they would become hungry to understand what you have for them, that they would be driven

by nothing else but to see your face and see your kingdom come in a way that is relatable and tangible and real to them. I ask that you would fill them with your spirit, God, that they would move with power, wisdom, and authority, that you would, would give them strategy on how to accomplish righteousness with the cards that they have been dealt. God, I pray that where other people are trying to impose their plans on them, that you would reveal whether or not those plans align with yours. And if they don't, God, give them a strategy to move around those plans. I thank you for what you're doing in my life. I thank you for what you're doing in my heart and my mind. May I continue to offer it up to you so that it may feed and edify those

who are connected to this moment in my life. Thank you, God, for what you. woman evolve in Jesus name amen evolve evolve evolve