Woman's Hour - Dr Ruth, Maternal mortality in Yemen, Carrie Lam profile

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

One woman and six new-born babies die during pregnancy or childbirth every two hours in Yemen according to UNICEF statistics released recently. The organisation says this is a direct result of the conflict there. We hear from Malak Hasan, an advocacy and policy worker for UNICEF and Yemeni-born Mai Noman, Digital Content Editor for the BBC’s Arabic service.Sex therapist Dr Ruth K Westheimer joins us to talk about a working life giving sex advice, and her recent 91st birthday celebrations. Dr Ruth became famous in the 1980s and 1990s with her frank advice about sex on radio and television. Born and brought up in Germany - she lost both her parents in the holocaust. She settled in America, writing and broadcasting about sex. She’s the subject of a new documentary ‘Ask Dr Ruth’ and was in the UK to take part in a debate at the Oxford union on pornography. We profile Hong Kong’s Chief Executive Carrie Lam, the city’s first female leader, elected in 2017. Roughly two million people marched in Hong Kong on Sunday, demanding her resignation, even though she'd announced she'd pull back from a bitterly unpopular law that that would allow extraditions to mainland China. Tania Branigan, Guardian foreign leader writer and BBC’s Helier Cheung join Jane.Presented by Jane Garvey Produced by Jane Thurlow

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BBC Sounds. Music, radio, podcasts. Hi, it's Tuesday the 18th of June 2019 and this is Jane Garvey with the Woman's Hour podcast. Today, Dr Ruth Westheimer. She's been on the programme before but she's 91 now. She's back in the UK. She was back last week actually to speak at the Oxford Union. She is the world-renowned

sex therapist. And here's a little taster for you. Here she is on what turns women on. They used to think that women don't get aroused by sexually explicit literature. Not true. Lady Shuttle is lover. Women did get aroused by that lover, that gardener. Mellers. Right? The name just came into my head there. That was phenomenal. Dr. Ruth has lots of wisdom to impart.

We'll discuss Carrie Lam, the beleaguered chief executive of Hong Kong and read some of the emails that you sent yesterday in response to the first of our series of features and conversations about teenage mental health, something we're going to be focusing on on the programme over the next couple of weeks. First though to the terrible conflict in Yemen. Yemen is one of the poorest countries in the Middle East and the war

there has been raging for over four years. The UN estimates that 20,000 people have been killed or injured since 2015 but others say the figures are far, far higher. It could be as many as 70,000. What we do know for certain is that millions of people are severely malnourished. The fighting is between the government forces backed by Saudi Arabia and the Houthi rebels who are supported by Iran. UNICEF statistics just released say that one woman and six newborn babies in Yemen die every two hours from pregnancy and childbirth complications. And UNICEF say this is a direct result of the conflict there. I talked to May Noman, who is Yemeni born and digital content editor for the BBC's Arabic service.

She still has family in the country and you'll hear what she has to say in a moment or two. After you hear from Malak Hassan who's working for UNICEF in the Yemeni capital. She told me how things are there. Well right now we have the authorities here, the Houthis and I mean but the whole country is controlled by the legitimate government. So explain then about the situation on the ground in terms of these UNICEF statistics, which do sound absolutely horrifying, the real perils faced by women and very, very young children. Yeah, so it's really, it has been becoming very difficult for the children, for their mothers. Sadly in Yemen now, one woman and six newborns, they die every two hours due to the complications during pregnancy or childbirth.

This has been negotiated by a lot of factors, the security situation, people's ability to purchase. It has become really to the lowest levels. People are very poor. You see a lot of them, they're malnourished. They don't have the, there is food, but there is really very difficult for them to get the necessities. Water as well, accessing clean water is difficult. So there are a lot of factors that are making the lives of people in Yemen very miserable. And so recently we have done this report, which we launched last week, about the mothers and their newborns dying. And this has been really worsening, you know, from like from previous years, like 2013 before the war and now.

So the women that you meet when you're out in the field, tell us about some of the conditions you've seen very recently so it like it depends if that woman is the mother or if you know she's a teacher or she know depends on her situation but if we speak about mothers and they're you know newborn so most frequently either this-supported health facilities or UNICEF programs. And I can tell you, for example, about this woman whom I met two weeks ago, about two weeks ago. She had to travel for five hours from her village in Al-Mahwit to Sana'a just to reach Al-Sabahin Hospital because she delivered her baby at home and then a few days later her baby she started suffering from asphyxia which is a condition

caused by deprivation of oxygen and this can lead to suffocation and death eventually. So she had to travel with her baby for five hours and then to reach a submarine hospital. By the time I met her, I mean, she was really lucky. The baby was lucky. She was okay because she was able to reach the hospital in time and to get the healthcare. But that's not the case for many mothers and newborns.

They don't have sometimes the money and the transportation to go to specialized health care facilities. And unfortunately, this is what's leading to their death. What about the idea that in some cases, midwives have mothers recovering after childbirth living with them in their own homes um you mean like like they go back home and then they when they stay with their with their children no i thought that actually some midwives are allowing mothers recovering after childbirth to come and live with them yes well it happens sometimes I'm not

really sure about how common is this but at least most of the midwives that have met they they told me that because they feel some but I sympathize for the mothers who come from a bit you know very far away areas so they hope they open their houses for them to stay in their homes so they can provide the supervision and the intervention needed. So what happens sometimes is that mothers, they would be arriving at a very late time in the health facility, no doctors are there, or they would get the intervention and then you will not see the medical team there.

So they will need really supervision. And if those mothers really live far away from the health facility, it would be extremely difficult for them to go to their homes and then back the next day. So I met with those two midwives a couple of months ago, and I was really surprised when they told me that they opened their houses for a lot of mothers to take care of them until they feel okay and then they can go back.

I was surprised because also those midwives themselves, they also faced a lot of problems. A lot of them, they have not been paid for a lot of time. So they're still having this generosity inside them to hold those mothers who need help. Malek, thank you very much. May, the situation in your country does sound absolutely dire. Malnutrition, a violent conflict going on, cholera outbreak as well. And for anybody listening who thinks, well, you know what, what's this got to do with us? Britain is involved here because Britain is supplying arms to the government side in the conflict. It is. Both the UK and the US have massive weapons deals with Saudi Arabia,

which is backing the Hadi government. And the Saudi-led coalition is accused by human rights organizations of violating human rights in terms of killing civilians and targeting places that are full of civilians. So it's a bit of a tricky situation for the UK, but also the international community is accusing both the UK and the US of putting more value on the economic profits from this war, as opposed to the humanitarian loss. Right. But whilst at the same time, we should say many people in Britain have given very generously to charity appeals for that humanitarian crisis. So the two things are

running in parallel. Absolutely. You can't be surprised by those shocking statistics from UNICEF in terms of the deaths of mothers and babies. But also, I guess, you wouldn't be surprised by the relative lack of coverage of it. No, I mean, Yemen 10 million people were food insecure? We had water problems. We had, you know, the problem that Malak was referring to in terms of women trying to get access to hospitals. 70% of the population is rural. And in Yemen, that means, you know, this is with the poor infrastructure,

it means that 70% of the population doesn't have easy access to things like hospitals or education. So that was all before the conflict. So let alone now, when you know, there's a naval blockade on the port. So that means 70% of the imports and the aid itself isn't getting to the people. And when it gets into the country, the Houthis are accused of using this aid and not giving it to the people in need. So the country is left in a very, very dire situation. And when I was back in 2016, it was visible everywhere you went, just how difficult it was for people to get by each day. And I hope this doesn't seem ignorant to you but when I see images of Yemeni women they all seem heavily veiled and you know to be perfectly honest sometimes I wonder whether it's

hard for people in Britain to relate to their suffering actually partly because of that. Yes I mean I can imagine that not seeing the faces of people who are in a distant land can make it difficult to relate to. But these are women and children and men like everyone else in the world. They have the same struggles, they have the same ambitions, the same dreams. They are covered, the women are covered. But they're not powerless. They're not, absolutely not. Yemeni women are quite strong. They've, despite being marginalized politically and economically, they played a very vital role from the beginning. They were out on the streets in 2011,

which led to the overthrow of Ali Abdullah Saleh. They were always a part of, you know, grassroots movements. They have their own NGOs. They have amazing access to a wide network of marginalized people. And now they're pushing really hard to be a part, a significant part of the peace process. And you said to me earlier, when we were chatting that you'd spoken to your cousin in the country last night. I did, yes. And what did she say? Where is she? She's in Sana'a. And my cousin and I grew up having very similar lives.

You know, and the fact that I then ended up in the UK about nine years ago just meant that our lives went in different directions. But I was speaking to her last night, and, you know, she's a single mother of three, and she was telling me about how she hasn't been able to sleep the past few nights because her youngest daughter is at school taking exams. In the meantime, the coalition has intensified its airstrikes. So she's worried about her daughter and she's worried she can't sleep at night. And it's just the whole situation is becoming, it's been four years and they've been going through this for four years.

So they get to a point where they just don't know what to do. You do forget, don't you, that real life is going on in these situations. Absolutely. Kids are taking exams. They are. Are we any closer to getting some sort of resolution in Yemen? Well, the UN had initiated a resolution to find peace in Yemen. The first two talks in Geneva and Kuwait didn't lead to anything.

But recently, late last year in Sweden, they finally reached an agreement, both sides, in terms of agreeing on a prisoner exchange and leaving the port of Hodeidah. That is a crucial part of this agreement, because if they do, then that means the aid is allowed to go into the country. But even that is fraught with so many small issues that means that on the ground, nothing's actually happening. Nothing's actually moving. Well, thank you very much, May. I really appreciate your involvement this morning. Briefly, Malak, do you sense that peace might be on the horizon? Is there any hope? Hope is always there. I definitely

like wish for the war to end. It's not only my wish, it's the wish and the hope of millions of people in Yemen. They need and they deserve to go back to their life. They need the best quality of life, just like anyone else in the world. Thank you very much. That was Malak Hassan, who works for UNICEF in Yemen. And you heard earlier from May Noman, who is digital content editor for the BBC's Arabic service. You're listening to Woman's Hour. Now, Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer, she was one of the names really of the 80s and 90s, an American sex therapist, made famous really because of her incredibly frank advice about sex and relationships on radio and television. She was born and brought up in Germany, but was sent to a children's home

in Switzerland by her parents when she was 10. Both her parents later died in the Holocaust. Ruth settled in America, writing and communicating about sex and relationships. Now she's the subject of a fascinating new documentary. It's called Ask Dr. Ruth. And she was in the UK to take part in a debate at the Oxford Union. The debate was actually about porn. But Dr. Ruth came in to the studios here in London before she popped to Oxford. And she just celebrated her 91st birthday.

When you're 91, you have to celebrate. A friend of mine, Paddy, she made a party at her house. There was klezmer music, which I like, which is like Jewish folk music, and there were some toasts, and then she made everybody tell something about me. I loved it. How lovely to sit there being talked about by other people.

Very nice. What was the best thing that people said about you that you didn't already know? I think what came across very nicely, Jane, is that they watched the documentary. And I liked very much that they came to expect to laugh, because I can be very funny sometimes, especially when I talk about that subject matter of sex. And that they laughed and cried. And there I have to tell you something, Jane, which is important for Great Britain. Great Britain in 1939 took 10,000 Jewish children,

Kindertransport, to safety. I happened to be on a Kindertransport into Switzerland. If I had been Holland, Belgium or France, I would not be alive. But Great Britain deserves a lot of thanks because despite the fact that there were dark clouds on the horizon, they took 10,000 Jewish children. That's why yesterday, yesterday went to see Churchill's...

Cabinet war rooms. The cabinet war room. People stood in line for three hours in the rain to get in. It's nice to be Dr. Ruth because I said, I'm 91. Can I please sneak in? Did you? Yes. And they did.

Well, watching that documentary, I should say, I do recommend it. It's most interesting, not just because you have been known for talking so frankly and helping so many people in your public conversations about sex, but because your whole life, your continued existence is a triumph, isn't it? It's a triumph over evil. That's what it is. It certainly is. that last week I was sitting at Columbia University, where I now teach my fourth year at Teachers College, and my granddaughter was getting her bachelor degree. So I was in my gown with the faculty. She was in the gown as a graduate. And I have to say, I thought, how fortunate that I was saved,

that my whole family did not make it out of Nazi Germany, and how fortunate I was to be in a place like New York, where the radio, you are doing so much radio. The reason of my success in New York was, first of all, I was very well trained. I have a doctorate and I'm a good psychologist. But also New York accepts people with different accents. So I was sitting there thinking, it's good I stayed in New York and I became Dr. Rose. Do you remember the first time you spoke in public about sex in the frankest way imaginable?

Because truly, you know, before you, I don't think anyone was doing this stuff. No, you had some agony aunts later on who talked openly. But I think when I taught how to teach sex education, that's when I had my doctorate in the study of the family, and that's really when I realized the need for these kind of conversations to be done without making fun of sex, but still with humor. In the Talmud, in the Jewish tradition, it says that a lesson taught with humor is a lesson retained. So I was fortunate. I was very well trained by Dr. Helen Singer Kaplan, who was the

first sex therapist to do psychosexual therapy, and that I could speak openly and without embarrassment. And it's also because I was not on television. I wasn't sitting there, a young woman with a short skirt. I already was in my 50s. Yes, well, I was going to ask you about orgasms and erections and issues of premature ejaculation and difficulties with sex and desire phase dysfunction. time giving good scientifically validated information but also not make it so didactic not to make it so boring but to use human elements of the stories that I heard every Sunday night two hours on radio. Well initially your late night Sunday show was recorded, wasn't it? And then they let you do it live? One year it was recorded. So when we did it live, I did realise that it is a growing audience. But I also kept on being very courageous by saying the terminology that exists and not to talk around the bush. And I think by my having been already 50, that maturity came across. I already had two children. I already had been married. And in the documentary, it says how often I've been married. A disgraceful three times, Dr. Rue.

Wait, two times were legalized love affairs. All right, okay. The real marriage was Fred Westheimer, who passed away 20 years ago. And it was the love of your life. The love of my life. Yeah. What was the most common question you'd get? And what was the saddest question you would get?

So these days, the questions have changed. I get less questions from men who ejaculate faster than they want to. I get less questions from women who don't know how to have an orgasm. I do more questions now about loneliness. The art of conversation is getting lost. Everybody is on their iPhone. And I'm very concerned about that. There is a new edition of Sex for Dummies coming out in August. And I talk a lot about the loneliness and the inability to form relationships. Can I just put an example to you of something I saw in my own life? I went on holiday a year ago to a beautiful Greek island and there were honeymoon couples.

I knew they were on honeymoon. They would sit at the table, both on their phones, over lunch and dinner. So that makes me very sad because the art of conversation, of sitting down and really looking at each other and listening to each other. So you can't have good sex without that? We can't. And then what worries me very much, I hear from young people these days that they don't have time for sex.

That's nonsense. Well, they're busy on their phones, aren't they? That is really nonsense. That has something to do with not taking the time for intimacy. That's not just the issue of having an orgasm. That's the time for intimacy to get to know each other. In the Jewish tradition in Hebrew, the word for sex is ladat, which means to know. That is so important that for good sex, you really have to know each other. You really have to get that smile on your face

when you see each other. And I don't care if it's heterosexual or homosexual. It's just when two people are together. Can I ask about Viagra? Yes. I tell you what happened in the United States. When that pill came on the market, first of all, I say loud and clear, even today, never to take the pill from a friend, only if a physician prescribes it. Well, you can get it over the counter, can't you? Absolutely. It's a catastrophe. Oh, you think that's wrong? Yes, because there might be other physical aspects of that inability to obtain an erection. So here's what happened in the United States when the pill came on the market.

So he went to his doctor. He said, OK, you can take it. Now he comes home. He now, Jane, has an erection from the floor to the ceiling. He thinks it's the last erection of his life. And he wants to make the most of it. Right. And he tells his wife, hop into bed. Now he forgot her birthday.

He forgot Valentine's Day. And in the United States, and I think it's the same in Great Britain, when there is a sports event on television, he hasn't talked to her in three days. So now he has that erection with Viagra. He thinks that she should hop into bed. And I and you know what that woman told her husband what to do with that erection. Right. But of course, I'm trying to, I never thought I'd be in a position where I have to speak up for Viagra. But I guess some people would say that it's fantastically useful.

It saves relationships. It can be really dreadful for a man if he can't get an erection. No question. No question that if the physician says yes, and if the relationship works, then it saves many, many marriages. No question. Can we just go back a little bit? You said that back in the day, the question would always be, I'm a woman and I just can't, I don't know how to have an orgasm. It is, I suppose, still remarkable

because women are still asking, some women are still asking that question. And then I say, thank you for asking. How wonderful that you can ask. Now go and get a book. Now go and get a vibrator. But careful, don't ever get used to a vibrator. Why not? Because no penis can duplicate the vibrations of a vibrator. So use a vibrator, get aroused, put it aside, finish with your hand. Otherwise your expectations will be simply set to fire. Exactly.

Right. But look, we have come far. Look, Great Britain, you and I sitting, talking on radio about the importance of having sexual satisfaction. It's just not something to be put on a back burner. And those people who are widows or for whatever reason haven't found somebody right now, do satisfy yourself. Not in public.

Not in public. Not even women's hour would recommend that. But enjoy yourself because you're allowed to. Right. Because it will give you a different way of walking. You have a different way of walking if you have been satisfied and you have a different outlook on life. Looking back, how much of a part do you think you played in keeping couples together, couples who might otherwise have split up? I know that I must have saved lots and lots of marriages, of relationships. Yeah, not just marriages, no.

Relationships. I have saved relationships between homosexuals because I kept on saying we don't know the etiology, the reason for homosexuality. We do not know, even today, why some men are attracted to men, some women to women. What I do know is every person in this world has to be respected. So out of that respect in the relationship of those two people,

I must have saved a lot of people. That makes me smile. And when you're in London, you're taking part in a debate at the Oxford Union on pornography. Now, pornography, many people regard it as the curse of contemporary life, that young children in particular can be exposed to images that are totally unsuitable at incredibly young ages now. But I mean, you tell me, are you in any way ambivalent about pornography or are you passionately for it? No, I'm not passionately for it.

However, I say that for some people to watch pornographic movies helps them to forget about the worries of everyday life. It helps them to forget about some loneliness. It helps them to forget about some sadness in their families. But loud and clear, not for children. I make a very clear line. The door has to be locked.

Otherwise, I believe that it does help some people to get aroused. But they have to be realistic. No woman in real life has these kind of orgasms. No man has one ejaculation after the other. That doesn't exist. You need some time to recuperate. But if we can say, use it, if it helps you, and make sure that you know that it's not realistic. But I have to tell you what I found, Jane. They used to think that women don't get aroused by sexually explicit

literature. Not true. Lady Shuttle is lover. Women did get aroused by that lover, that gardener. Mellers. Right? The name just came into my head there. That was phenomenal. That's very interesting.

So in all of those books, in your British, the three volumes that I did read. Fifty Shades of Grey. Fifty Shades of Grey. Fifty Shades of Grey. It does prove what I've been saying all these years. Women do get aroused by literature, sexually explicit literature, and by movies. So if it can help somebody, use it.

Can I ask about your children and your grandchildren feature in the film about your life? And at one point, the fact that you have this incredible effervescent presence, you are somebody who embrace, takes the day, seizes the day, embraces what life has to offer. But the suggestion is made that you are in denial about the terrible suffering in your early life. Because I belong to those people. Nothing to do with denial. But it's true that I did not ever cry in public, except when my daughter says she saw me cry when my late husband died. So there are some people, some British people with a stiff upper lip. And there are some German people who do not cry in public. And I belong to those. That doesn't mean that I don't cry. But it does mean that there are certain things that even

with my own family, there are certain things that I keep in boundaries. That does not mean that I don't realize how fortunate I was that I was saved. So when I go and pay tribute to you at Churchill, I do that with being so aware of having to be grateful that I'm alive. In addition, how lucky I'm Dr. Ruth. I get to London. I go to the museum. I come on Jane's program.

I'm going to the theater tonight. I'm going to Oxford tomorrow. Not bad for a 91-year- old. No, not bad at all. Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer. I talked to her last week, had the great pleasure of meeting her. And if you'd like to see that documentary, Ask Dr. Ruth is its name. It's available for pre-order now in all the usual places. Now, Dr. Ruth and I did mention Viagra. It is a year since the drug has been available without prescription. Has that had an impact on your sex life? Would you be willing to talk about it or write about it to us in an email? We don't need to mention names, but it's at BBC Women's

Hour. That's the social media way of contacting us. You can email us via our website, bbc.co.uk slash Women's Hour if you'd like to get involved. We also have a video with Dr Ruth on the womanshour website and on Instagram. She is presenting in a very cheery way, five tips for a happy sex life. So get more Dr Ruth in your life. She is a phenomenon. Now, you may well have heard the conversations we had yesterday, a GP and an A&E consultant talking about their own experiences in terms of child and adolescent mental health. We know that referrals to CAMHS, the Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services, were at their highest levels ever last year. We know the government has a range of initiatives.

Theresa May was at a secondary school yesterday. We're told that teachers are going to be taught how to spot signs of mental illness in pupils. So it's very much in the ether, this subject, and we're talking about it over the next couple of weeks on the programme. Now, we had a whole shoal of emails from you yesterday. I'm just going to read a couple now. This is from a teacher who says, I work at an FE college and this year I taught GCSE psychology to a group of 14 to 16 year olds. This is from a teacher who says, as why they were at the college. They were amazing students, but so sad to witness their distress, particularly surrounding the excessively long waiting times for treatment and therapy. In addition to bullying as a potential trigger, they cited intense academic pressure and a general feeling of pessimism surrounding their futures. Interestingly, I thought they played down the

potential negative influence of social media. From another listener, thank you for focusing on teen mental health. I'm a primary mental health worker and psychotherapist. I also give advice to teachers and parents and professionals. It is an absolute epidemic at the moment, and it's heartbreaking to see the amount of suffering that our teens are going through. People scapegoat social media and a lack of mental health provision, but I ask, what about parents? They should be held more accountable and they should be offered support.

Another one. My role for 18 years was as a teacher working for my local education authority for sick children. I was based on a children's ward at my local general hospital. This allowed all sick children to access as much education as their health allowed. Authority for Sick Children. I was based on a children's ward at my local general hospital. This allowed all sick children to access as much education as their health allowed. I was also part of a PRU, a pupil referral unit for children with behaviour problems, i.e. a teacher on an NHS site. When I first started on the ward, there were maybe two or three inpatients a week who'd self-harmed or because of mental health concerns nowadays says this correspondent there can be three or four a day whilst i always found the hospital staff engaged

and supportive towards the children i cannot say the same for some head teachers and the local education authority um that just gives you an idea of the number of emails we've had and the variety of experiences and views being expressed. Please do keep them coming. I should say we are reading all of them. There are some very, very distressing stories. But we do want to get as much idea as possible about what is really going on out there right now in terms of adolescent mental health and your experiences and your family's experiences of it. So had you heard the name Carrie Lam before the events of the last couple of weeks? She is the chief executive of Hong Kong.

She is the city's first female leader. She was elected back in 2017. You'll know that millions of people have been marching in Hong Kong, demanding her resignation, despite her announcement the day before that she had in fact pulled back from a bitterly unpopular law that would allow extraditions to mainland China. Let's find out more about Carrie Lam and the crisis Hong Kong faces right now. Tanya Branigan is here, Guardian foreign leader writer. Welcome, Tanya. Hello.

And the BBC's Helia Chung is in Hong Kong, where it's late afternoon. And Helia, there has actually been a press conference featuring Carrie Lam today hasn't there? Yes there has she gave a press conference where she said she apologised to all the people of Hong Kong for her handling of the matter and she tried to strike a conciliatory tone telling lots of the young protesters that she knew they wanted a chief executive who would listen to them and she tried to do better. But this won't really placate the protesters because they have specifically been demanding that she withdraw the bill, not just halt it. And they've also been demanding that she resign. In fact, on Sunday, when organisers said two million people took part in the march, there were huge chants of Carrie Lam resign, Carrie Lam resign. So for them,

this will certainly fall short of their demands. Tanya, who is Carrie Lam? And to what extent is she simply a puppet of Beijing? She's a career bureaucrat. She spent her entire life pretty much since graduation in the civil service doing a whole number of jobs. She's got a reputation for being a very sort of doughty fighter for her causes, really being able to push things through, and of course, being extremely loyal to Beijing. And that's why she's there. Yeah, well, we say she, I said she was elected in 2017. To what extent was she elected? Well, chief executives are picked by an election committee, which is theoretically, but in fact, in no way representative of the Hong Kong population. And this has really set up a fundamental clash,

because they're picked because Beijing wants their man or woman in place. And yet the people of Hong Kong clearly increasingly want somebody who actually represents or speaks to or at least understands them, I think. Well, let's talk about the mood then, Helia. How would you describe it today? Well, there's still been a lot of anger at Carrie Lam and from the protesters. The mood on the streets is a bit calmer, especially compared to last week or Wednesday, when lots of students and young protesters had crowded around the Legislative Council. There are fewer, far fewer protesters on the street today. And because there aren't any particular leaders of this movement,

it's not particularly clear where they're going to go next. But what is clear is that Carrie Lam is very unpopular with the public right now. And that's going to be a headache both for her and for Beijing. Do you think she can survive, Helia? Well, she'll probably survive in the short term, because Beijing's officials at a foreign ministry briefing just yesterday said that they stood behind her. And I think if she resigns, it would be a big loss of faith, both for her and for Beijing. In fact, Reuters was talking to some Beijing officials who said off the record that they thought even if she wants to resign right now, Beijing isn't going to let her, which does also reflect how it seems like, you know,

ultimately, in some ways, she has to answer to Beijing. Right. But it does also suggest, Tanya, that she could be an effective scapegoat of some kind. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's very convenient to sort of pin all of this on Carrie Lam. And she's clearly made some big missteps in the handling of this legislation, trying to ram it through, particularly her failure to even really try and get the business community on side, because the business community is generally pro-Beijing, and very sort of powerful and influential. But also, just being so sort of tone deaf in her response to the sort of protests. This is the third about turn she's had in four days. I mean, the previous apology managed, if anything, to annoy protesters more. We saw sort of two

million come out onto the streets after that. She's just done a spectacularly bad job in that regard. She talked about the protesters comparing them to her son. If he was engaged in wayward behaviour and she didn't correct him, he might come back later and sort of resent her for it. I mean, that sort of infantilisation really didn't go down well. But as you say, it's obviously very useful for Beijing. Despite the fact that they'd backed this at a high level, they're saying, look, this was a local initiative.

This is sort of on Carrie Lam. And at the same time, I think the protesters are sort of canny enough to realise that although this is all about Beijing's control of Hong Kong, if they were targeting their rage at the Communist Party and Xi Jinping, then it would make it that much harder for Beijing to sort of step away from this and step away from the legislation. So I think there's an awareness there that it's in their interest to tackle Carrie Lam. Yeah, it is intriguing from our perspective, Helia, that of course, the crowds on the streets, they're not all young, but there are so many young people out there who believe so passionately in the Hong Kong they want to live in. People, of course, not old enough to remember the Hong Kong before 1997 at

all. Yes, that's right. I mean, I've been talking to some of the young protesters, and a lot of them are really young, barely out of their teens, or perhaps they're 17 or so, which means they're so young that last time Hong Kong had big street protests, which was the umbrella protest of 2014, a lot of them told me they couldn't take part because their parents wouldn't let them and they were secondary school students. But it seems like younger people these days are more into politics, and they're more likely to protest than before. And that's because they feel like there is more at stake, because the agreement that gives Hong Kong special rights and freedoms expires in 2047. And you have a lot of young people saying, well, hang on, I'll be middle-aged then, and we have no idea what's going to happen

and they feel like China is interfering more in Hong Kong's business and that really worries them. Now, you may well have been enjoying, as I have actually, the Lesley Manville BBC Two show, Mum. Lesley's character, Pauline, isn't it, has found love. No, it's not Pauline. Kathy, forgive me. Kathy, nearly got it right.

Pauline's the not-so-nice sister-in-law. Kathy's found love with Michael, played by Peter Mullen, but it hasn't gone down all that well with the rest of the family. We want to know from you, what was it like when you introduced a new partner into the family and friends circle after bereavement? Email the programme via the website bbc.co.uk slash womanshour. Thanks for your emails this morning

and indeed your tweets on everything you've heard. This from Claire, I'm really glad that Woman's Hour has been talking about the women and children in Yemen. I remember listening to the Radio 4 News while feeding my eight-month-old baby. The reporter met an eight-month-old with severe malnutrition and I was crying while I fed my daughter. How can we help? I donate to UNICEF. Well, Claire, I think a lot of women, a lot of people will relate to what you've said there. I'm not sure how I can advise you on how we can help. I suppose just donating to UNICEF is obviously a start and just keeping this subject in our minds, I guess, is hugely important. So

it's something that we as a programme should return to when we can. Many of you really enjoyed hearing from Dr. Ruth, who is just one of those personalities that's unforgettable. Verushka said, wow, it's Dr. Ruth on Woman's Hour. I lived down the road from her as a kid. All of us girls looked up to our local celeb. She was outspoken. She was funny. She was speaking up for sexual freedom and agency, particularly women's. Still going strong. I still hope to be her when I grow up.

Yeah, I understand that. Here's an email from a listener. It's Keith. Hello. Love the interview with Dr. Ruth, says Keith. Only woman's hours brave enough to carry it. Good for you. Oh, I don't know.

I'm sure other people... No, actually, you're right, they wouldn't. Ronnie says, wonderful to hear this amazing, inspiring woman again. I haven't heard her since I left New York 30 years ago. Jane Merrick, the political journalist. In fact, she was on the show only last week. She enjoyed Dr Ruth. Nearly choked on my tea at the floor to ceiling reference from Dr Ruth on Woman's Hour just now.

Quick, says Jane. Back to the Tory leadership contest. Thanks for that. Launching a host of mental images will do very well indeed to attempt to get rid of. Kate says Dr. Ruth on Woman's Hour. Amazing. How can a woman of 91 be so current and on the money?

Inspiring. Dean says one of the best women's interviews ever. Jane obviously enjoying her company. Well, of course. How could how could I not enjoy the company of a 91 year old who's just just genuinely absolutely brilliant? And Joe says love listening to Dr. Ruth as direct and no nonsense about intimacy and sex as ever. She is a legend. Avril emails from County Down in Northern Ireland. Great to hear Dr Ruth. As a sex therapist, I appeared with her on the Sean Rafferty

show on BBC Northern Ireland. Sean, of course, is now a regular on Radio 3, but this was back in the day when he was on BBC Northern Ireland. It was the early 90s and it was not only unusual in Northern Ireland at least, the early 90s, and it was not only unusual, in Northern Ireland at least, but also considered very daring. We enjoyed our time together on the programme,

and she displays the same sense of humour, very important, and speaks with the same good sense today as she always did. I was lucky enough to be well trained, and I agree with Dr Ruth that good training is essential. We covered many topics in the course of our discussion on that show, including the place of pornography, but it was before the internet and times change, as do the type of questions.

Then, as now, a sense of loneliness lay behind many of the questions from people seeking help. May Dr. Ruth continue for many, many more years to come. Thank you for that, Avril. That's a nice memory and good to hear from you. And Anne, let's end on a positive. Anne says, laugh out loud. Laugh out loud. I don't know what accent that is.

Laugh out loud moment when Dr. Ruth said, a woman has a different way of walking when she's sexually satisfied. The mental image that that conjured up. Yes, I'm hoping that mental image will take over from the mental image left by Jane Merrick's earlier intervention. So let's hope it does. Thanks to everybody who took part today in one way or another. And Jenny is doing the programme and the podcast, of course, tomorrow.

Her guests include the American aviator who wanted to be an astronaut. Still going strong, Wally Funk on Woman's Hour tomorrow. I'm Sarah Trelevan, and for over a year, I've been working on one of the most complex stories I've ever covered. There was somebody out there who's faking pregnancies. I started like warning everybody. Every doula that I know. It was fake. No pregnancy. And the deeper I dig, the more questions I unearth. How long has she been doing this? What does she have to gain from this?

From CBC and the BBC World Service, The Con, Caitlin's Baby. It's a long story. Settle in. Available now.