World Of Secrets - Searching for Soldier Dad: 1. Love story

Episode Date: April 20, 2026

Why don’t I have a father? Cathy is 10 years old when she starts asking questions. The secret her mum Maggie is forced to reveal changes everything. Years later, when lawyers and a geneticist turn ...up in their hometown in Kenya to take DNA samples, Maggie hopes they can help her finally learn the truth. Searching for Soldier Dad is a BBC Long Form Audio production for the BBC World Service. Please note, the image being used is for illustrative purposes only and the child depicted is a model. Presenter: Ivana Davidovic Series producer: Josephine Casserly Sound design: Tom Brignell Executive producer: Matt Willis Commissioning senior producers: Katy Davis and Anne Dixey Commissioning editor: Jon Manel

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Starting point is 00:00:29 Switch to Shopify. Start your free trial today. Chicago, 2011, a cop is murdered. Police and prosecutors swear they have the trigger man. He swears he didn't do it. How far will each side go to prove their right? Like it's just one bombshell after another, you know, where you're like, what, what? The story of a PlayStation, a brain-eating amoeba, and the relentless pursuit of justice.
Starting point is 00:00:59 Off-duty, out now. Listen wherever you get your podcast. When Katney is a little kid, she sees what's there and barely notices what's absent. Her mum is the centre of her world. The thought of a dad doesn't even cross her mind. I've never really had like a dad so to know what that feeling is to actually miss. You can't miss something that you've never had. Then one day, there is an event at her primary school and her mum Maggie attends.
Starting point is 00:01:37 Other parents are coming in, you know, no father and mother, and I was just me. It's in this moment watching her classmates that a question forms in Kathy's mind. So after the event, when we went back home, we were eating, and I just randomly popped the question, I was like, Mom, how comes I don't have a dad? Because everyone else has a dad in school, and I don't. Kathy is growing up in a town called Manukhi in Kenya, East Africa.
Starting point is 00:02:09 And she looks different to her classmates. Her skin is lighter, her hair is a different texture. Maggie says that when she was growing up, Nanyuki was known as British town. That's because it's home to an army base. And Kathy's mum tells her that her dad was a soldier, a British soldier. She told me that he was deployed to Afghanistan. Was it, Afghanistan? And I thought, like, oh, he died in the war.
Starting point is 00:02:37 I mean, we see movies all the time and many people die in movies. That's what I told her, because she's young to understand. What could I have told her? I just told her, I think he's dead. That's what I answer, very comfortably. Kathy struggles to imagine her dad. It's like peering through a kaleidoscope. Just as soon as an image crystallizes, it collapses.
Starting point is 00:03:01 But one thing is clear. He was a soldier, a hero. When her friends ask her, she tells them readily, my dad was a soldier and he died in the army. This story becomes part of Kathy's story until she's 10. There's a time mom was like, don't go on Facebook, don't do this and this and this. You cannot tell a child, don't do this and expect them to not do it.
Starting point is 00:03:30 You will do it. You will do it. Kathy takes her mom's phone and starts scrolling through her Facebook account. And I was like, what's this she's telling me not to scroll on? Like, it's just Facebook. So I start scrolling and scrolling, and then all of a sudden I see someone with the same name as me. And I've never heard another name like mine. So I was like...
Starting point is 00:03:54 All Cathy has left of her dad is his surname. I go up to her and I'm like, Mom! Like, Mom, who's this? Why does he have my name? And she's like, at first she didn't know what? to say. Yeah, I was confused. Like, what will I tell her?
Starting point is 00:04:12 So she looks at the phone. I see her move her head back. Like, she's trying to look properly or something. Then I was like, uh, it's your dad. It's Kathy's dad, the soldier, the war hero. He's there, smiling out of the screen. Very much not dead. All the stories Kathy had told herself about him evaporate.
Starting point is 00:04:39 Questions tumbled through her mind. If he's alive, then where is he? Why did he leave? With her mum's encouragement, 10-year-old Kathy opens a Facebook account and begins to write a message. She tried also to tell him, I can't sleep because I'm thinking with my father.
Starting point is 00:04:58 It was a touching message because it made me cry when I read it. Yeah, she read it and she cried. I was like, Mom, are you crying? And she's like, nothing. That's nothing. I'm like, that has to be something. You're crying. Now I knew how she was feeling.
Starting point is 00:05:13 She told the father, you know, I've been told by my mom, you're a good person. What happened? Yeah, what happened? You know, why did you leave me? And then she hits send. There's nothing more she can do but wait for a reply. It's a weight that stretches from days to weeks and then to years. She feels completely isolated.
Starting point is 00:05:37 but I've discovered she's far from alone. This moment, as she stares in disbelief at her dad's Facebook profile, is the beginning of a nine-year quest to get answers. Her journey will put her on a path she never thought possible. It will bring her into contact with lawyers and DNA detectives from across the world. She'll discover that her story is part of a bigger pattern, one whose implications go to the very highest levels of power. This is World of Secrets, Season 12,
Starting point is 00:06:18 Searching for Soldier Dad, a BBC World Service investigation. I'm Ivana Davidovich, a BBC journalist. For the past two years, I've been following a cutting-edge project to locate absentee military fathers and expose a scandal that has hidden in plain sight. for decades. Episode 1, love story. I first meet Maggie and her daughter Kathy in December 24,
Starting point is 00:06:58 in their hometown of Nanuki. We're getting into Nanuki, right? We approach the town on a wide, dusty highway. It's at the base of Mount Kenya, Africa's second highest mountain. I can see the outline of its jagged snow-capped peat. through the clouds in the distance. That sign is like a tourist destination. To one side of the road is a big yellow sign.
Starting point is 00:07:25 It's stained by traffic fumes and surrounded by people posing for photos. On the sign there is a black silhouette of the African continent, telling us that we are bang on the equator. I might be every day for you, but I'm very far from equator. So for me this is very exciting. As we drive into the area, When we drive into the center, shopping malls flank the road. Side streets bustle with market stalls piled high with vegetables.
Starting point is 00:07:54 Motorcycle taxis are touting for business. We stop at a mall for lunch. And suddenly, I feel like I've stepped out of Kenya. There is an American fast food chain where almost every customer is a British soldier, most in uniform. I'm struck by how young some of them look in their bulky military uniforms, eating fries out of paper bags and sipping from large soft drink cups. The fingerprints of the British military are all over this region. The army base outside of Nanuki is their biggest in Africa.
Starting point is 00:08:33 The British Army set up training camps here after Kenya gained independence from the British in the 60s. It's known as Batuk or the British Army Training Unit Kenya. And every year, around 5,000 per year, around 5,000 per year. personnel pass through it. The combination of sandy and mountainous terrain is the perfect environment to train for combat overseas. With the troops comes money.
Starting point is 00:08:58 Amidst the town's shopping malls, there are swanky-looking restaurants, bars and clubs, where I realise that spotting white men with often younger, glamorously dressed Kenyan women is a regular occurrence. But there's something else, a dark and dangerous. underbelly. Kenya has launched a landmark inquiry against the Royal British Army. Decades of human rights abuses and sexual abuses while they trained in the country. Nanyuki has been at the centre of scandal and political controversy.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Former British soldier wanted by Kenyan authorities appeared in a London court after being arrested in connection with the alleged murder of Agnes Vanjur... A Kenyan parliamentary committee recently accused British soldiers of decades of six. sexual abuse, killings, human rights violations and environmental destruction. They said that the British army was increasingly seen as an occupying presence. Our story unfolds against the backdrop of these allegations. When Kathy first found out her dad was alive, she was filled with questions. The first person she turned to was her mum, Maggie, who told her the story of their relationship. There's a building over there.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Yeah, yeah. So you see my things are happening. Maggie takes me back to the place where it all began, a restaurant on one of the main streets of Manuki. Maggie has long red hair and a nose ring. She looks younger than her 48 years. She laughs easily, but there is a sense of vulnerability. We climb up the stone steps
Starting point is 00:10:43 and sit down on an upmarket whitewashed roof terrace as motorbikes whiz by on the street below. We're going to rewind to 2004 when this place had a different vibe. Here there was a pool table. Maggie's 26. She's working at her hairdressers just around the corner. When at lunchtime, she comes to the restaurant with a friend on her break. And I was seated here in the counter.
Starting point is 00:11:10 I was waiting for food with my friend. Even though Nanuki is nowhere near the sea, it's decked out like a beach bar, with Tiki style decor and Kenyan music blaring out of the speakers. Around the pool table, five white guys in military uniform stand cozied up with some Kenyan women. Although it's common to see soldiers from the British military base around town, Maggie has
Starting point is 00:11:36 never spoken to one. Most of us who didn't interact with them, we are scared of them. Maggie says there is a divide among the women in Anuki. We used to call them prostitute and they used to call us working class. The working class girls and the sex workers. These two groups would go to the same bars, live in the same areas, but they'd avoid each other. We're scared of them because, you know, prostitute are rude. They're allowed, they're drunk at all the time.
Starting point is 00:12:03 They will walk in town with the soldier holding hands and no shame. Maggie says that Nanyuki has a reputation. Because of British, I mean, actually this town has a bad name because of them. Maggie had learned not to tell people where she's from in case they assume she's a sex worker too. If you tell someone you're from Nanyuki, they would be like, oh, that place where you go, you know, it's a lot of fun and British army and, you know. So, sitting at the bar, Maggie doesn't pay the British soldiers much attention, but they are paying attention to her.
Starting point is 00:12:36 They say, hey, you have a beautiful teeth, you know. Charming. Maggie finishes her lunch and is walking down the stone steps when one of the Kenyan women, who was with the soldiers, catches up with her. Hey, excuse me, there's someone asking me. for your number. She's wary, but also flattered. Maggie doesn't have a phone of her own, so gives her friend's number. That evening, her friend gets a call. She rushes around to Maggie's
Starting point is 00:13:06 house. On the other end of the line is the voice of a British man. He says his name is Phil. He's not how she expected him to be. He seems shy and sweet, and he asks when he can see her again. She's cautious, but there is something about his soft demeanour that makes her curious. So they arranged to meet back at the restaurant the following morning. We came upstairs, we talked. He's a few years older than Maggie, and she's struck by how handsome he is. He's tall with dark hair and a cheeky grin. And he probably missed me a lot of being, you know, I love the way you look, I love you, everything, like how men are, you know.
Starting point is 00:13:46 And I was like, okay, every relationship starts like that. But it's not just compliments that Phil gives her. Actually, I give me 10,000. He hands over 10,000 Kenyan shillings in cash, or about 125 US dollars. That's when I was like, okay. Wait, can I just interrupt you? Did you think it was strange
Starting point is 00:14:06 that you met him for the first time, basically, one on one, and he offered you 10,000 straight away? It was weird, but, like... Did he think that you were a prostitute? I'm just sorry for me. But I don't know why he would offer. Yeah, that's why I told you he was not, he respected me. Like he didn't, he didn't approach me like a prostit, like I want you.
Starting point is 00:14:28 You know, he didn't even ask me about sex, actually. Maggie finds Phil Charming. He's respectful. They get to know each other for weeks before they even discuss spending the night together. At first, they meet in the daytime. They talk, have lunch, play pool. Maggie has a son, Raja, from a previous relationship. and Phil always asks after him
Starting point is 00:14:51 and sometimes buys him gifts. Maggie says he makes her feel like the centre of his world. In my heart I was like, he's mine, I'm his, yeah. And he never looked, you know, like we sit here and women walk around, he never. He used to sit like, we used to sit like this, you know? Locked, yeah, exactly. You know when you're locked on someone like this, right?
Starting point is 00:15:13 There is not wandering eye. No. You feel like you're the center of the universe. Exactly. And he used to tell me, looking me at my eyes and say, you have a beautiful eyes, you know, I will never leave you. I love you so much, you know, you mean the world to me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Maggie's mistrust falls away, and it's replaced by the exhilaration of falling in love. Her thoughts are so full of him that she can barely sleep, barely eat. While dating, Phil is regularly sent back to the UK or off on deployment. sometimes for months at a time. But when they're reunited, the feelings get stronger. And how did your relationship change then? Because you hadn't seen each other for six months, and then he's here again for three weeks.
Starting point is 00:16:04 What was it like? It's romantic, you know? Like, hey, it was fun. I was like, oh, I'm the top of the world right now, you know. It's Romeo and Juliet, I will say. So I didn't doubt him. I didn't doubt you, even a inch. A year after Maggie and Phil first meet, he is returning to Kenya from a deployment.
Starting point is 00:16:35 She goes to meet him at the airport. As he pushes his luggage on a trolley through the barriers on the arrivals hall, their eyes meet. He walks straight towards her. He just kneeled down. I was like, God. You know, I was confused. What is this? I only see this in the movie. He looks up at her and he's holding a ring. He asks me, will you marry me?
Starting point is 00:16:58 At first, Maggie panics. She's not expecting this. They've only been together for a year. She runs out of the airport and jumps into a taxi to hide. Full of adrenaline, she explains to the driver, a total stranger, that her boyfriend, a white guy, has just asked her to marry him. She doesn't know what to do. He asks me, are you stupid?
Starting point is 00:17:20 Are you running away from opportunity? Actually, that's the word he used. Maggie opens the taxi door, runs back. into the airport and back to Phil. And I was like, okay, I was shaking, my legs were shaking. I was, you know, I was sweating, my hands were sweating. And he said, please say yes. And I was like, yes.
Starting point is 00:17:42 Everyone around them starts cheering and clapping. It was, eh, it was nice. And we came home, actually that night, it's when I got pregnant. How do you know exactly? How do I know? You know, sometimes a woman knows. Maggie and Phil's fairy tale romance is complete. They're about to become a family.
Starting point is 00:18:10 But as Maggie is about to find out, their happy ending is still out of reach. At Britbox, character is everything. Stream the iconic characters defining British TV on Britbox, including Ludwig. I think I might just have solved a murder. Vera. Now we're getting somewhere.
Starting point is 00:18:32 Agatha Christie's Poirot. Oh, sure. And more below. loved favorites. I'm a policeman. I'm professional. I'm a time lord. I'm the Duchess of York.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Once you know them, you never quite forget them. I ain't being vain. I just am special. Stream the best of British TV on Britbox. Watch with a free trial today at Britbox.com. When it's time to scale your business, it's time for Shopify. Get everything you need to grow the way you want. Like, all the way.
Starting point is 00:19:00 Stack more sales with the best converting checkout on the planet. Track your cha-chings from every channel. right in one spot and turn real-time reporting into big-time opportunities. Take your business to a whole new level. Switch to Shopify. Start your free trial today. Chicago, 2011, a cop is murdered. Police and prosecutors swear they have the trigger man.
Starting point is 00:19:26 He swears he didn't do it. How far will each side go to prove their right? Like it's just one bombshell after another, you know, where you're like, what? What? The story of a PlayStation. a brain-eating amoeba and the relentless pursuit of justice. Off-duty, out now.
Starting point is 00:19:45 Listen wherever you get your podcasts. So this is where you lived? I used to live here. Let me show you my gates. Maggie has taken me to where she lived when she was engaged to fill. The river is behind here. We could hear the sounds of the river when we are sleeping. It's like rain.
Starting point is 00:20:10 It's peaceful, about a dozen bungalows in a U-shape, with driveways and dyerways and. neat gardens out the front. This is where Kathy was born. Being here, it's clear that Maggie had everything she could have wanted, a fiancé she loved, a house and garden to raise their children in. She had no reason to suspect that anything was amiss. Back in 2006, Phil is on deployment in Germany when Kathy is born.
Starting point is 00:20:43 He's paying Maggie's rent and sending money every month for the baby. And he writes to Maggie regularly. I've seen some of the letters. They bear the British military stamp for each of the operations he's part of. They're romantic and heartfelt. And he always signs off, your hobby, Phil. As soon as we are married, over in Kenya or in Britain,
Starting point is 00:21:06 we can get a house. I will never meet another woman like you. This is very hard. I'm not interested in anyone else, but I won't lie to you. And I promise you that I'll always keep my word to you. you, Maggie. I will never cheat on. Mine is yours and anything you want you will have. I will break my own back to make you happy. When Kathy is seven months old, Phil is given leave and comes to meet his daughter for the first time. At this point, Maggie and Phil have not seen each other for over a year.
Starting point is 00:21:42 Maggie collects him from Nairobi Airport. When they drive up to the house, the nanny brings out Kathy, or Kate, as her mom calls her, in her arms. And he was very happy. Actually, he used to hold Kate when we walk around. Kate was always in his hands. They'd go for lunch back at the restaurant where they met, Kathy's sitting on Phil's lap. Yeah, it was fun.
Starting point is 00:22:04 It was a family. You're a family, right? Yeah. It was. And he was like, I can't wait to take this baby to my country and everybody see my kid, you know, the sisters and the mother. And he was like, my baby's not really. going to get Kenyan passport. No blue passport, it's a red passport, you know.
Starting point is 00:22:23 With her head full of the promise of British passports for her and her child, Maggie starts dreaming of her life in the UK. She'll open her own restaurant and live as a family with Phil, Kathy and Roger. For four weeks, Phil stays with Maggie and Kathy. They love going on long walks with a baby in a sling. But it can't last forever. Phil has to return to his deployment. On his last day in Kenya, she drives him back to the airport. We cried, we hug, we kissed, and he was gone. And, you know, there's a bat window. And he's like, waving, right?
Starting point is 00:23:02 Yeah, waving and, you know, still crying. And he said, don't worry, I'll be back. But don't worry, I'll be back was worry. I won't be back, you know. Maggie is worried. She has a feeling she can't shake. Something was telling me something will be wrong because sometimes you have your instincts
Starting point is 00:23:23 that they say something. As soon as he lands, Phil messages, everything is normal. They send messages back and forth. It's just like I love you, I miss you, and I would like us to be together. I can't wait for us to get married, you know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:41 But Phil starts to take longer to respond. Before long, weeks pass between phone call. He started with delaying of sending money, you know, and I have a kid, and I'm like, hey, you know, it's due day to pay the rent and everything. And then he was like, wait, I'll do it, I'll do it, and all right. Then one day he was quiet. So that's when I started messaging him. I used to call him, the phone will ring until nobody will pick the phone, and then I will text. Text after text, text after text, but no reply.
Starting point is 00:24:15 But they were showing me they're delivered. Maggie is frantic. Has something happened to him? In desperation, she calls his mum. Phil's mum assures Maggie that he is alive. But she also says that her son is an adult and she can't force him to be in contact. Maggie's heart sinks.
Starting point is 00:24:38 That's when I start now with Facebook. And then he will block me. I can't see him. I open another account. I text him. it will go through, then he will block me. This continues for five years. She keeps replaying every conversation they've ever had in her head
Starting point is 00:24:55 and rereading the messages over and over, looking for clues as to why he left. She cannot forget him and can't let go. But she has to carry on. I had so many sleepless nights, and I will wake up early in the morning to go to work. You know, I'll come home tired. There is my kids, you know.
Starting point is 00:25:14 And I'm thinking, they need to live. They need to survive, they need to go to school. So I think I will get back to my feet and start taking care of my kids. And that's what I did. She runs a small kitchen inside a pub. Then she leases some land to farm vegetables. And for years, she manages to keep things afloat.
Starting point is 00:25:35 But by the time Kathy turns 15, their fortunes take a turn for the worse. Maggie's business suffers a shock. Cattle destroy her crops, and then she loses everything. After years of raising her two kids independently, it all starts falling apart. She has no safety net, no one to turn to,
Starting point is 00:25:58 and she falls into serious debt. Her health is impacted by the stress. She loses weight. She can't pay the rent and is reduced to sofa surfing with friends and family. Her thoughts turn again to Phil. Where is he? he. She even tells her story to the Kenyan media, hoping they can track him down, but it makes
Starting point is 00:26:22 no difference. Then, out of the blue, she gets a call from a young lawyer in Anuki. Some Western scientists and lawyers are coming to town. He's talking about DNA samples, databases, court cases is too much for Maggie to process. She worries it could be a scam, but she's desperate for answers for her and her daughter. The phone call ends and she takes a deep breath. Maybe it's worth one more shot. So you guys have all been waiting very patiently. I see you kids are waiting very patiently as well.
Starting point is 00:27:10 So thank you so much for listening to us. Should we get started? It's December 2024. About half a dozen Kenyan women are crowded into a hot room in the back of a cafe in Anuki. They sit on plastic chairs, some with little kids on their laps. Is it okay if Joe just films a bit of the intro?
Starting point is 00:27:30 There's no camera. I'm here with my producer, Josephine. We're gathered to hear about a pioneering legal scheme that might transform the lives of these women and children. My name is James, and I am a lawyer in London. On one side of the room is a fresh-faced lawyer. He is tall and slim, a white guy with neat brown hair. He looks uncomfortably hot in his shirt and tie.
Starting point is 00:27:55 And I represent children, young people and parents in international children cases. Next to him is an older white man in his 50s with ashy blonde hair. My name is Andrew McLeod. I'm an Australian and a British lawyer. I understand sometimes the Australian accent is very difficult. So if there is anything you don't understand, just tell me stop. The women in the room sit listening intently. If we find the father, we can.
Starting point is 00:28:25 and give the child a sense of identity of who mommy is and who daddy is so they can live their life knowing who they are. Each of them has a child who they believe was fathered by a British soldier, who they say is now failing to support them. The children here are mainly mixed race and their range of ages. But the lawyers believe this might be the tip of the iceberg, that in the decades that the British military has been stationed here, large numbers of children have been fathered.
Starting point is 00:28:54 children have been fathered by soldiers and in many cases abandoned. We'll get into exactly how the project will work later in the series. But on this day, the lawyers explained that they're looking for volunteers for a project where they will do something that no one else has attempted. They'll collect DNA samples and then use commercial DNA databases like ancestry, to track down the missing military fathers. I can't promise you will find them. I can promise you we will work very, very hard for this.
Starting point is 00:29:31 If they find the fathers, they will take them to court in the UK to establish their paternity. We will try as hard as we can. We will use every tool we can. We will go to court as much as we can. But there is no guarantee we will ever find the father. Well, the father is involved in these cases.
Starting point is 00:29:51 There is an air of excitement. but also skepticism. They have been coming. Lawyers have been coming. People have been coming. Asking my heart. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. One woman tells the lawyers that she wants to trust them,
Starting point is 00:30:06 but they're not the first visitors who've come to them promising to help. In that stuffy room, everything feels very uncertain. No one has any idea if this process will find anyone's father. And for us, this feels like a gamble. We don't know where this will go or what. But if anything, we'll have to publish at the end of it. Hello. I'm Josephine. Nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:30:30 We work at the BBC. We're journalists. We're making a programme about... We rush around the cafe's outdoor seating area, with our microphones trying to speak to everyone. So your boy now is eight, is that right? Yeah, he's... What's his name? There are many stories.
Starting point is 00:30:47 So you met on a dating site. From a one-night stand to a week-long fling in a hotel. And there are other... He even proposed to me Give me a ring Yeah You gave me a ring? Yes
Starting point is 00:30:59 Women who believed that they were in a committed relationship Then we started to live together He started to live together One woman tells me she lived with her boyfriend And their son for three years Before he went back to the UK for a holiday Then I tried to call him
Starting point is 00:31:14 But his friend is true After a text saying he'd landed He was never heard from again All those years I struggle to live with my son or another. I can relate. I was a single mom myself in my early 20s.
Starting point is 00:31:36 I know how difficult it can be. But my jaw drops at some of the hardships these families have endured. One woman tells me her son had cholera as they had no access to safe drinking water and she could barely afford to treat him. But this is about so much more than irresponsible dads and single moms.
Starting point is 00:31:58 The fathers of these children could be considered representatives of the British state. A state that once ruled this country and whose legacy here is inescapable. And these children are often living in unimaginable circumstances. Their mothers powerless to demand financial support. Nice to meet you. Yvina, pleasure. I'm coming for money. Ah, okay.
Starting point is 00:32:28 On the second day of DNA testing, more mothers and their children arrive. And it's here that I first meet Maggie and Kathy. From the moment we first start talking, the warmth of their bond draws me in. We sit down to talk at a table outside among bamboo and tropical orange flowers. Kathy is tall and slim, with long braids, jeans and a white hoodie. I noticed that Maggie is still wearing the engagement ring given to her by Kathy's father. Is it odd to you that your mum still wears your father's ring? Let's just say if I was in the position, I would have thrown it away a long time ago.
Starting point is 00:33:06 Because it's a constant reminder of something that was to happen, didn't happen. To me, she's the reminder. I don't see the ring, I see her. Now 18, Kathy has just finished school. But she says she can't graduate until her mom pays $100 of outstanding fees, something they simply can't afford. But it's not just about the money. Kathy wants to know her father so she can know herself.
Starting point is 00:33:34 I'm an insomniac. So I just lie down, look at the ceiling, and I'm like, if he was still here, this could have been my life. This could have happened. I would have been happy. I wouldn't have gone through depression. I wouldn't have done so many things.
Starting point is 00:33:48 I'd just be happy. But then I look back then, I'm like, what if it's better? that my mom raised me. She's taught me to be confident. She's taught me to be brave. She taught me everything. She taught me how to be myself, you know?
Starting point is 00:34:05 Look at you. Yeah, I had to make her my friend, so she doesn't think about the father. Yeah. As Kathy waits for her DNA sample to be taken, I can feel how torn she is about the possibility of getting to know her dad. But the curiosity of who is my father.
Starting point is 00:34:24 It's part of you, isn't it? Yeah, it's. You can't escape it. I can't. It's in DNA, literally. I can't escape it because something in me is like, get to know him. Yeah. You know, know your roots, know everything.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And then there's some part of me which is like he doesn't care. He was never here for you. Then it's time. You see this little stick. It's like a little swab on the end. I'm going to put it inside your mouth. That's fine. Okay.
Starting point is 00:34:58 Kathy's taken off into a side room to have her. sample taken. It makes your mouth a bit dry and turn it over and then we're going to go around. A few drops of saliva with a power to change Kathy's life. This is the start of a story like no other. With exclusive access, we'll be following every step of this life-changing process. What we're going to do, what we intend to do, speak to each one of you individually so that we can discuss the DNA results we've now had through.
Starting point is 00:35:29 We'll try to track down the father. of Cathy and others. It's hard to explain the joy that you feel by holding another life in your hands that you've created. With unpredictable consequences. I cannot remember the last time I felt so flabbergasses or so flawed. And our quest for answers
Starting point is 00:35:48 will take us to the heart of the British state. That's all coming up on this season of World of Secrets. This has been episode 1 or 5 of season 12 of World of Secrets. Searching for Soldier Dad from the BBC World Service. World of Secrets, Searching for Soldier Dad is a long-form audio production for the BBC World Service. It's presented by me, Ivana Davidovich. The series is produced and written by Josephine Cassily.
Starting point is 00:36:25 The series editor is Matt Willis. Our script advisor is Lucy Proctor. Sound design and mix by Tom Brignall. We would like as many people as possible to hear our investigation. So please leave a rating and a review and do tell others about world of secrets. At Britbox, character is everything. Stream the iconic characters defining British TV on Britbox, including Ludwig.
Starting point is 00:37:01 I think I might just have solved a murder. Vera. Now we're getting so where. Agatha Christie's Poirot. Oh, sure. And more beloved favourites. I'm a policeman. I'm professional.
Starting point is 00:37:11 I'm a time lord. I'm the Duchess of York. Once you know them, you never quite forget them. I be in vain. I just am special. Stream the best of British TV on Britbox. Watch with a free trial today at Britbox.com.

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