Worlds Beyond Number - HINT! ep1: Let the Boddie Hit the Floor

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

To whom it may concern, you have been cordially invited to the Boddie Estate, alongside many established as well as up-and-coming luminaries, gadabouts, learned scholars, loyal compatriots, mysterious servants, long-time friends with complicated backstories, blackmail artists with hearts of gold, liars from your past, traitors from your present, not-mysterious-at-all servants, and of course, one very, very wealthy corpse. Spoiler alert.We are:Brennan Lee MulliganErika IshiiAabria IyengarLou WilsonHINT! was designed and edited by Kate Sanders at Fortunate HorseSPECIAL THANKS TO: Shannon, Melanie, Amanda Freberg.Transcript of this episode coming soon! You can find transcripts of all our episodes here, for free, on our Patreon. Just navigate to the post for the episode and the transcript will be attached. If it's not there, it's on the way ;)Our album art is by the great Corey BrickleyOur music appears courtesy of Artlist.io, Musopen.org, and Archive.orgLa notte, S. 112/2 - Mauro Tortorelli (https://musopen.org/music/37594-la-notte-s-1122/)Broadway (Manhattan Mary) 1927 Cass Hagan Orch. v. Frank Luther (https://archive.org/details/FavoriteShareFlagAudioFrankLutherPopularVocalRecordingsCollection1925-1935/z+Good+News+1927+Fred+Rich+Orchestra+v.+Frank+Luther.m4a)https://archive.org/details/JV-18202-1940-Qmd5eseFw7icWTHEX1fsM1HUoJeJwCAYyAR8AzBWCdgmyN.mp3https://archive.org/details/JV-26792-1947-QmfW6Wz4vaz3ecX8ZBXLsjhoxSC4C7FFARt4bvKNB5W8kj.mp3https://archive.org/details/JV-6591-1930-QmVUah4peJwEHcczgW8DYHFi8D5Xnqwazq1iA9syPbNnNa.mp3https://archive.org/details/JV-1395-1924-QmVPw1kBvGMJkZysN5m8stCjVD5jpHwCYEgWZsHDodhW3E.mp3

This is the sound of worlds beyond number. Hi, everyone. This is your GM, Erica speaking. And I would like to say that our story is set in 1927 America, which was a bad time, rife with stories of injustice. But that is not the particular story that we are going to tell today. That being said, you may hear some things that may be a little not right and unjust. but I can assure you that all players present and myself are very on board for this and were warned ahead of time. And unlike sometimes in our real world, in the end, justice will prevail. So strap in and get ready for murder most valid.

The year is 1927. It's been almost 10 years since the end of the Great War and it's an era of prosperity and cultural dynamism. Lucky Lindberg just made the first solo, nonstop transatlantic flight from New York City to Paris in the spirit of St. Louis. The Harlem Globetrotters dazzled the nation with their first exhibition match. Women have been allowed to vote here in the United States

for seven whole years. It is autumn in New York in the very well-to-do neighborhood of Golden Creek, and you have all been invited to the sprawling estate of your friend, Rutherford Q. Body, an eccentric millionaire and magnate of industry. Mr. Body is heir to the body fortune made by his father, Jonathan. Jonathan Johnny Body was a railroad and manufacturing tycoon. He made his millions and dedicated the rest of his life to building

libraries, concert halls, and parks. Rutherford himself is a man about town, a playboy, a bit of a rake, and famously a collector. A collector of extensive. experiences and rare antiquities from his travels round the world, mementos and trophies of which festoon his mansion. But the collection he most prides himself on is his eclectic assortment of friends and acquaintances, luminaries and interesting figures from all walks of life, regardless of creed, race, or religion.

It's quite the scandal amongst the New York elites, but, well, that's just the sort of man, Rutherford-Buddy-Body is. You will all be moving from room to iconic room investigating and role-playing. There will be clues or hints in each scene that will unravel the mystery and enable you to eliminate weapons and suspects until you reach a thrilling conclusion. And remember, it could be one of you. Every few months, Mr. Body will curate a selection of his treasures, mostly new, but sometimes from his current stash.

He'll have a select few friends over for an exquisite dinner to admire his artifacts which he carefully arranges in a collection that he's themed often provocatively. This time he has chosen the items to celebrate the 50th anniversary of his father Johnny Boddy's founding of Body Works Incorporated. All of you are here and it is just before dinner at 9 p.m. In the great expanse of the hallway of Body Mansion, there is a grand entryway meant to inspire awe

and perhaps envy in all of its guests, gleaming white walls with gold-leafed floral sconces, tall windows that peer out under the private driveway with its manicured shrubs and its delicious century garden, where you've often watched Bodies Duesenberg, Model J come tearing down the drive. Photographs of the Body family from a different era here out,

and you can't help but wonder if the portrait of Jonathan Boddy is looking somewhat disapprovingly out those big glass windows. Cassidy, you are here with your longtime friend, Mr. Body. Can you describe yourself a little bit? Cassidy Green is a well-dressed man in his late 30s,

a deep forest green in his double-breasted suit that registers under dim light as being some kind of either navy or black. It takes close look to tell that it's actually a green suit. It's quite dark. He has sort of a blonde with a little hint of strawberry, wisp of hair. he's got a bit of a widow's peak. So the middle of his forehead, he's got his sort of older hair line, but it's stretching back on either side. He is dressed in an extremely tasteful manner, I would say. There is nothing sort of ostentatious about him, but everything is very finely

tailored in that way of members of the attachés to the upper class, where every part of him defies criticism, but takes no risk. And he gazes out, looking at the manner, and smiles warmly. By his, not in his hand, but by his foot is his briefcase, marking as a sort of legal briefcase with two well-worn brass clasps, marking him as a member of the legal profession. And he's going to smile warmly at Rutherford.

Rutherford, with dark raven black hair, slicked back, wearing an immaculately tailored suit that is very, very up to date. His physique is very much that of a gentleman of leisure, who at this time is, bodybuilding wasn't really a thing, but you can tell that he plays lacrosse, he plays polo, he's out and about early morning constitutionals

when he has no need to sleep off the previous night. He smiles back at you and continues along with his story. So I told her, darling, if you can't take it, then surely you can't join us at the next juice joint. You know how it goes, don't you cast? Oh, I certainly do, Rudd. I'm happy to hear that, well, I'm happy to hear that she took it like a good sport. And obviously, you know, she hasn't been out with you before.

No, they always do, they always do. It's the body way. So glad you could join us here tonight, Cass. It's a really special one tonight. I do believe it will be one. Rutherford, I was wondering if we might have a chance to speak in private before we, make our way to the other guests. I, uh, I received your letter by courier this morning and, uh...

Oh yes. Yes, that's right. It would have been arrived. It would have arrived. Yes, uh, you're welcome. I, I can't tell... Rudd, is this some kind of joke? A joke? No, if, uh, if I had told joke, you would have laughed. You always laugh at my jokes. I do, but I'm struggling to understand. And here, Rutherford's going to look around to see if there's anyone else listening and just goes like, you, you, look, when you told me that you wanted to retain me as your personal personal attorney, yes, who better than my oldest school

Trump? Well, I, of course, I mean, I'm honored. I know that we, I know that my firm no longer represents the body business empire. No, no, no, you understand. You know, the growth and everything as a corporation now. It's wiser for me to retain my own corporate counsel there, but I mean, a trusted friend like you, of course I'd want nobody else to drop my personal papers. What troubles you about this? You seem very concerned.

Rutherford, I understand that you're not married, but one day, one day, my friend, you will be. Why? What could possibly give you that notion, Castle, Bean? You cannot. Well, you can't. I mean, it's yours to do with what you. Do you actually want to leave me a controlling stake in the body? Listen, you've... You've known me since we were children. When have I ever given the impression that I would sire and air, a legitimate air, I suppose?

Rudd, there are realities to this outside of... I want, listen, I love my friends, and I want to make sure that you are taking care of should anything happen to me. Is that so wrong? Is that so strange? No, no, I suppose not. I only mean to say my old friend that I... To give, to leave that to me

when I haven't been working in the business for several years now. Well, you haven't been in business business, but you've been in business if you take my meaning. And body leans over and winks jovially. I'm going to smile and go, certainly. And the fellows will be out back with the ice truck not too long. Ah, excellent.

That's the last bit of it. The rest of the staff is gone already. At this point, you hear a piano startup playing a lively jazz tune in the ballroom. Ah, that is, that's Susie. So good to your jazz being played here. I think, you know, Father could never stand this stuff. He always was on about how the romantic composers were the pinnacle of all music making in the West. Certainly.

Well, I'm not sure you could call it what Suzy's playing jazz, but certainly it's not... Oh, that's right. You do not quite get on. Hardly. Are you... Can I ask, Rudd, are you seeing Susie right now? Or is that... I can never keep...

Oh, well, I mean, yes and no is the short answer, I suppose. We have, you know, something of a more horrid relationship than you're usually used to seeing with me in with. My God, I've never heard someone refer to their own relationship as torrid. Well, this one's different, Cass. This one is, I mean, honestly, you know how the staff is, often concerned about my comings and goings, but this one, the comings and goings are quite

loud. All right, well, I'm going to make sure that the oysters got delivered downstairs. I, uh, Rudd, your generosity means the world to me, but I, if anything were to happen to you, and I were to come

into that position fresh out of the shadows. Very exciting, isn't it? You could turn around the green family name. I don't think that would turn around the green. Oh, come on, Cass. You're so serious. It's a party. Lighten up a little bit and he slaps you on the back jovially. I'll go make sure that you're on the champagne. We'll talk more, Rutherford, but I have everything here that you asked for. Yes, yes, good. Completed and I'll sign whatever needs to be signed. Good man. All right, Rud.

We move to another part of the body mansion to the billiard room where Fred Mustard is in the middle of a lovely little game with his friend Professor Plum. Lou, can you please describe yourself a bit? Of course. Standing there, putting his weight on the queue, holding it in two hands, is Professor Arnold Plum, a man in his 40s. deep set eyes, lots of signs of sleepless nights, of anxious thoughts, of, of, of, of a good bit of alcohol in his later years. Arnold Plum is a man of science, standing there in a three-piece suit of a rich kind of plum color that I think he has in his later years taken on as being kind of his signature. look, a golden chain hangs between two of the pockets on his coat attached to the end of a pocket watch, a pair of circular spectacles hanging just on the bridge of his nose, a proper bow tie tied tight around his neck,

and just a hint of tobacco smoke on his lips from a pipe that has only for a brief moment taken rest on a table beside the game. You are currently lining up a shot on the scuffed green felt of the billiard table. It is in a dimly lit room with hanging Tiffany lamps above the table of deep, rich, very, very heavy African heartwood with clawed legs. your companion Fred Mustard was once a robust man but has since thinned out considerably. He has a lame leg from the war

and you can tell in his eyes that he is troubled, although he has not thus far said anything to that effect. So you say, these penny cups, chocolate and peanut butter? That is what the, that is what we are proposing. Now, how it will actually work, the ratios of peanut butter to chocolate. I mean, those are the things we are working out in the lab. And honestly, I was going to, you know Mrs. White.

Oh, yes, yes. I was going to get her opinion because I'm sure she has one on what people. would prefer. I mean, chocolate is, I think, what the GIs is kind of what's on everyone's lips, but I think the introduction of peanut butter is kind of a savory companion. I think that, that's the ticket. Wow. Well, I like both of those things quite a lot, and I think that should you find the right ratio of it, that won't, you know, stick too much. Well, that's the other thing. I'm working on a preservative that will hopefully sustain and the peanut butter inside of the chocolate shelf staple.

But that we've been having a hard time within the lab, but we'll get there. I think it'll be quite popular with both children and their parents. Of course. Well, and I've got one here. This is, I'm going to pull out a small kind of rectangular piece of chocolate. We're calling these Queen Bee Stings. No, no. Try that.

Truly, you don't mind? No, no, it's a prototype. You just have to tell me how. you feel about it. Well, all right. He takes a little nibble. Oh. That's right.

It's a little sweet, little hot. Oh, that's a... Little cayenne, little honeycomb. Oh, that's quite strong. I believe that perhaps some folks with less developed palates might not care for it. Well, you think that the cayenne is a... I think that perhaps across the pond it might be a little bit spicy, for them.

That's a fair assessment. But it's quite interesting. This is what I love about your work, is that it's so innovative. I think you, and congratulations. I truly think that that peanut butter and chocolate idea is really going to pan out for you. Fingers crossed.

Yes. You know, I wish Body would take a page out of your book and stop investing in machines of war and turn to other more delightful pursuits. Very much so. I'm not sure you heard we got into a scuffle at the club the other night. Well, I didn't want to pry, but... Yes, I mean, he's just on and on and on about it. You know, this why not return to serious sciences?

And the idea of these pursuits is frivolous, and there's nothing privy. There's nothing frivolous about joy. There's nothing frivolous about a moment of peace, a moment of sweetness. That's just as serious, if you ask me. And the work we did, the work I did, you know, during the war. I mean, how I feel about it is complicated. You're one of the few people I can tell about that. Well, yes, it's, uh, I take your meaning.

and I fully agree. I think that I don't always know how to bring, I wish I had your passion and speaking in front of the rest of the government agencies that I have to convene with. It's, the tenor is so much of celebration. And, you know, they made it quite recently so that they can just keep proliferating these arms.

I can keep proliferating them and I know body is keen to capitalize on that. Of course. I mean, you're not having words with him? I mean, you two are tennis partners. Well, I mean to have them tonight. You know, he's not one.

He always says, oh, it's not my business. Oh, I don't know about the workings of it. But, you know, he does have final say. And I've heard that in addition to wanting to work on these and research these, kinds of the terrible things that we saw, then he wants to work on them for other places aside from our government.

It's dangerous business, dangerous business here. Well, I hope you have words with him tonight, and I hope that he heats them. Well, does he ever heed anything that he doesn't want to heed except for his hedonism? Oh, that's good. That's good, friends. Really? I mean, it's quite clever. Thank you.

Thank you. Well, perhaps those, I could help come up with some more, more of your candy names, you know, like those penny cups could be peanut butter, peanut butter circles. Fred, you have a beautiful mind. Ah, thank you. And I just don't want you to forget that. Now, I'm a bit dry. Would you like another? Yes. And he turns, in the corner there is a cabinet. There's a crystal, Bikari crystal laid out on the shelves and decanters with very prominent juices.

But there is a nondescript cabinet in the corner. And Fred goes over and pops it open. And the side panel actually opens up. And a full bar with booze aplenty is revealed. Thank the good Lord for Mr. Green. Ah, yes, Cass can... Cass will always steer us right. We move to the kitchen

where an elderly woman with tanned skin and the slowest shuffle you have ever seen is in puttering around the kitchen arranging flower centerpieces. This is, Mrs. Emelda Parvati Cunningham Peacock, and she is the Dowager gossip of the New York Elite. She was friends with Mrs. Badi, Mr. Badi's late mother, and she has continued to

arrange flowers in her memory. She's here with Mrs. White. Bria, could you describe yourself? Really quick. Is Claw working this? Ah, you have been persuaded once more to. You don't have to cook, but perhaps you could help see to make sure just maybe pop everything in the oven just before all the viewing,

just to keep it warm, all the staff has already gone home. And this beautiful white, kitchen with the black and white marble tiling on the floor that Mr. Body has just recently had redone just for you. Is somebody else's work has already made the meal, but as he says, nobody quite knows the way around delicacies like you, Claw. Claw looks around at this, like, immaculate state-of-the-art, black-and-white kitchen that perfectly matches the outfit she is wearing in protest to having been convinced once again to be in this kitchen. She is in optic white satin oversized pajamas with like perfect finger waves and like dark, immaculate vampy makeup, the kind that like as it smudges and wears over a night or a couple

days of partying as these salons tend to go wears into a different kind of like tussled and attractive. And even though she is wearing the outfit that is like, this place is a splatter factory, she's now taking it as a point of personal pride as like dishes are being moved around that she will still interact with things and not get a speck on her.

And is doing all of this and chirping, she's not ordering anyone around because there's no one around to order, but she still sounds like she's in like a full commercial kitchen and she's just sort of dancing around mrs peacock slowly arranging an orchid having a great time how are you doing with your what are you doing why are you in here why are there flowers in the kitchen oh well you see the uh the conservatory right now on your left oh but but uh this is where to

Traditionally, I would do the arrangements with Mrs. Pink. Your memory, yes, yes. Are you sure you wouldn't be more comfortable in maybe any Azel place than this? My dear, I am comfortable right where I am. And should you see fit, I would love for you to be comfortable here with me. Perhaps not getting quite so underfoot. Oh, I'm in your way. Well.

Apologies. Yes. Don't, hold on, bite this. And I just offer her like a little, it's kind of like a proto, like, jimmy chrie. Like, just a little sauce that I'm trying. Like, this steak, whoever made this steak, it is the driest. It's a little overdone. I'm just trying to figure out a way to judge it.

Is that anything? Salt? No. No, no, I think that you are right to, you know, the spice cabinet over there, he's made it in the French style. Just a toy, I'll find it. Will you, you know what? No. Pivot.

And at this point, she just stops and all of her, like, flowing garments, like, cease with her for a moment as she fully focuses on Mrs. Peacock. Hmm. Do you think that Susie will be here tonight? Oh, of course. and you can already hear her with the racket she's making in the ballroom. She thinks that's jazz. Oh, those Hollywood Westward types.

Look, you just, she's a walking red carpet and he will walk right over her to the next one. Yes, well, he hasn't quite walked over or away from you. You yet, has he, dear? What? What do you mean? Wait. Okay.

Anytime there's an attractive, talented young woman in the mix, it's got to be because Rutherford has, has had his eye caught by you all. That's very generous. I think his affinity for me is talent. Where are you from? by the way. This is... Harlem, like two... I'm like three...

But, well, I mean to say, is where... Your accent is quite unusual. Oh, it's French. I am just back from across the bond. I was there for... Oh, gosh, it felt like years.

But how long was it? Eight months. Well, you certainly have adopted this... It feels... Feels like my second home after New York, my first home where I was born. What did you say? Salt?

And I'm going to go shample over. Mrs. Peacock putters after you. Very slowly. Oh, yes. I used to go to Paris quite a lot, actually. Yeah, were you there before the Eiffel Tower was built? Oh. Why?

Yes, yes, I was. Nobody knows how old Mrs. Peacock is. She gingerly tucks some asters into the arrangement. She says, yes, it's the city of lights. Too bright for my taste, if you know what I mean. I do not. You're fun. Well, you're type.

Perhaps a different type of fun than you, but your type is a lot more like Rutherford's. But listen, listen, dear, you have to come to one of my bi-weekly tea times with the ladies. It's quite, you know, they joke that reputations are made and broken at the peacock tea times. And you seem like you could break quite a lot of them. I can't tell if this is a good interaction.

Oh, this is fun. I think there's a lot of, like, speaking just low enough that, again, Mrs. Peacock is maybe 800 years old. I don't know. So there's a lot of, like, muttering and mumbling just to, like, sit under the floor of her hearing. So this is actually, like, very fun for Claw, but in that way that she's kind of, like, talking a little shit to Mrs. Peacock. and about and enjoying her time in the kitchen despite her best effort.

Yes, well, all I'll say about your kind of fun is that you might want to watch out for Rutherford, do you know? Well, he was such a nice young boy. That's a lie. He was always a terrible young man. His mother could bless her soul She was She was too good for this She was too nice

For my good She was too nice for her What am I saying She was too nice for her own good And too good for this world And now that son of hers Is trampling all over her legacy And you seem

bright and well-spoken, and I think that you should take care that Rutherford doesn't drag you around into any of his nonsense. You're actually quite sweet. What? Sorry, um, you're, you're quite sweet. Ah, thank you, dear. Look, Rutherford is whatever he can get away with being at the time. I'm, um, but I'll keep my eyes out for him. Thank you. Yes, you see that you keep your eyes out for him.

Oh, well, that's nice. And she stands back and there's a lovely arrangement of orchids from the conservatory and seasonal asters and a chrysanthemums that you see popping up in the neighborhood in autumn. This is actually quite nice. Thank you, yes. Did you like study this in whatever existed before schools were invented? I studied this in... Yes, actually. There wasn't... How old are you?

I had a governess in what I had. And suddenly you hear a gong ring and the quote-unquote jazz and the ballroom in the ballroom stops. And you all know that that is the signal to repair to the lounge where you will have the newest collection unveiled before dinner. On the way, I'm going to like cut off. Like there's always that like little bit that you're trying as you're like finishing dishes.

And I've just got like a couple weird little, just little weird little bites and little nibbles. And I'm going to like throw them under a cloche and take. take them with me upstairs. As you all enter the lounge, the lounge is full of couches and comfortable armchairs that form an intimate semicircle around a roaring stone fireplace. This room feels like a Victorian drawing room, but perhaps like a lighter and airier take on it. There's wood paneling and wood wainscoting, but the wallpaper above those is patterned in a modern style with art deco lines and lines and triangles. You all walk in and body is standing in front of six marble plinths each within an item placed on it and accompanied by a card.

My friends, this evening's salon has a theming of workers of the world uniting. Items from far and long past that have been used by craftsmen and workers. Those who have come up in the world by the sweat of their brow. This, of course, to celebrate. Father's, the 50th anniversary of Father's founding of Body Works. You see a candlestick that is a simple, solid brass, plated in gold. There is what looks to be an old knife, but with a newer handle. There is a green pipe.

there is a silver revolver, a large, thick length of rope, and a gold-plated wrench in a shadow box. Each of you has a moment to look around and perhaps read an accompanying card on one of the items. Brennan, Mr. Green, what do you look at first? I think looking at those, I'll actually go ahead and look at the rope. I think that's the one that sticks out to me as being like, everything else here is made of metal and could like theoretically stand the test of time

and be special. And I'm like, special rope, the hell? And we'll walk over and read the card on it. It says 1895 Kyoto, Japan. Oh, Cass, you old dog, I knew you'd want to take a sniff at that. You see, this rope isn't from very long ago at all. It's from, you know, a couple of decades past. There was a construction of the Higashi Hongde, a temple in Japan, Kyoto.

there was no rope strong enough in the area to hoist the heavy timbers that were needed for the temple. So the devotees of this temple, the females, they cut their hair and they wove it into a bunch of hemp and created an incredibly strong rope that's you look at the rope and it is indeed made with human hair. It is hairy rope and it is a few inches in diameter and it is a few inches in diameter. and six feet in length, give or take. Yes, there was hundreds and hundreds of feet long bits of this, and I managed to, during one of my trips there,

have somebody cut off a length of it. And I thought, you know, these extraordinary women that got things done with only what they had is something definitely worth commemorating and adding to the collection. Well, you are always a romantic at heart and a lock of a fair woman's hair. Mass-produced.

Yes, quite lovely, quite lovely. Do you know, there's still hundreds of feet left over there. It's just sitting there and the japs can kind of just touch it at the time they want. What I would... How bizarre? I'm sorry, yes. He seems lost in thought for a moment. Are you all right?

Yes, yes, yes. It's just, you know, I loved my time over there. Loved it, loved it, loved it. You know, what a wonderful country. You know, it's very polite people. Yeah, you simply must go sometime with me. You'll like it, you'll like it. Well, yes, it seems like there's a very communally minded people there.

Yeah. with this rope made of everyone's combined hair. Rud, are you all right? I've, my dear fellow, I've never been better. Right. You've got a big coil of human hair on a plinth here. Is this not the first coil of human hair that you've ever seen? And isn't that remarkable?

Well, we are remarking on it. Look, I can't, we're here honoring the, the international workers of the world, the wobblies? You know, your old... What are the wobblies? Woblies? Are these people unsteady on their feet or something? What I mean to say is your old man had my old man back when my pop was your pop's lawyer

viciously cracked down on labor actions. Yes, the Pinkertons that, you know, the pinkies. Top to bottom, front to back. I mean, truly just... So what's the relationship with? It's a great piece of hair. Congratulations. I did it.

I killed this man. Lou? I'm going to get us some drinks. Ah, yes. The booze. Professor Plum, what would you like to take a look at? Oh, Professor Plum has replaced. The pipe.

Professor Plum's pipe is back in his mouth, I think, as he leans over and gazes at the knife. The knife, you. you read Egypt question mark and you take a look at the knife is a beautiful piece of unusual looking steel

that has been sharpened to a point on both sides there is a what looks to be a newer handle of purple heartwood with carvings resembling an Egyptian lotus motif.

And it seems though the blade itself is somewhat older to be in working condition. Interesting. This piece I'm quite proud of. I obtained it from an Egyptian pharaoh's tomb. Really? Yes. An actual tomb? That's right.

You went in there yourself? Well, I didn't go in myself. But, you know, I was in Egypt, and, you know, about five years ago, there was, you know, there's a couple new discoveries. And, you know, some of them happened to make their way onto the market. And I purchased this one and had it redone, you see. Redone? Yes. You found an artifact and you had it redone.

Yes, yes. It's perfectly good steel. This steel is, uh, from, by all accounts, a must be made. meteorite. You know, the Egyptians, advanced though they were, didn't know how to really smelt or iron. Rutherford, that's not how steel works. Oh, hello. French. That's not how steel works. That she does that outlaw. Yes. Oh, yes, your affectation claw. Well, please, enlighten us. How does steel work? It's an alloy. An alloy? An alloy.

Big Brotherford. Alloy. A mix of two metals. Yes. Oh, I see, I see. You have friends from Pennsylvania that work in steel. Oh, I see. Yes, well, my father, as you know, had a steel plant,

so I think I know a little bit of something about steel. But in any event, this is meteorite. They would use the iron that was in meteorites for some of their finer blades. and as you see, it has withstood the test of time, and I had it sharpened on up, and a new handle wrapped around the tang of it. That's a knife from the ass. Thank you.

Understood. So the elements of the knife that are actually the, what was found in the Farrell's tomb, are simply the plate. And you've... Oh, no, there was a... Well, yes, there was, but there also was a handle on it originally. You took that off and replaced it with this one.

The new good one, yes. This one's in perfect working order. You hear that, claw? Well, well, as always, Mr. Boddy, quite the collection. Yes, yes. Imagine them. Just cooking and, you know, chopping things and cutting things. And with this knife, an ancient Egyptian held this knife and worked in...

Who knows? Who knows what they used it for? They could have been cutting papyrus. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Professor Blub's going to reach in, take the pipe out of his mouth, and just start kind of shoveling chocolate into it. Just gently, while he just tries to busy his mouth so that he can't speak the words that are in his mind.

Mm-hmm. Ah, claw. I see that you found something that interests you. Yeah, talk to me about this pistol. Ah, well, you see the difference between a pistol and a revolver is that revolver has chambers and a pistol has a cartridge in which you load the bullets,

you know. But this is a revolver, a six-shooter, to be exact, a cult single-action Army service revolver that was by all accounts used by Mr. Wyatt Earp. He was a legendary lawman in the old West.

And what does that have to do is the theme for the night's saddle? Oh, well, our almond are the thin lines I opened the course and I

grab a morsel it's a little piece of that steak and I flash fried in some of like the leftover like steak fat and butter

I found one of the chrysanthemums that was like oh this is an edible one and it's got like a little peppery bite and then like built kind of weaved

a little like nest around it So it's like a little enclosed piece of steak. And I flick it into his mouth so he shuts up. Oh. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, mm-hmm. Claudette, you've done it again.

So it sounds like you're reconsidering. Oh, we can talk about it later, I think. Oh, maybe not now. Excellent. And he actually looks over at a young woman with Asian features. She's wearing a red flapper dress, sequined and beaded beautifully. She has a

long cigarette holder made of silver with a cigarette at the tip. And she has a short bob and pouting red lips that are downturned into a frown specifically

at the two of you. It takes a look at her and says, ah yes, perhaps we had better discuss this later. You wouldn't want how to get mad, would you? And I grab another little piece and then slowly offer it. Body

takes his chances and he opens his mouth almost more fish-like than is probably attractive in this moment. What a man. God, the worst. This woman,

Susie, Scarlet, which is the stage name of Ruby Shoe, Hollywood Starlet and current It Girl walks over and looks meaningfully at you and says, oh, well, may I try a bite? I forgot you could talk. It's the pictures. Forgetful. Hmm. Go ahead. And I'm going to pick up one of them, and then as I'm handing it off to her, accidentally drop it on the ground.

Oh, I'm so sorry That was the last one But help is so hard to find, isn't it? Rutherford And I turn and storm away I'd like to walk over to Professor Plum Young Squire

Oh, Professor, submissive from you And I'm going to pull a tight, well-rolled Cuban cigar Out of my inside pocket And hand it to you And have one for myself

as well. Take out a nice silver cigar cutter. An appointment on the balcony, perhaps, Professor? Oh, we're long overdue. I take it you were being serenaded along with the good colonel by Miss Scarlett. Oh, yes. Who doesn't love a bit of quote-unquote jazz? I could have sworn Fats Waller broke in the back window and started playing.

It was incredible. I swear, Langston Hughes were among us. Exactly. I hope Mr. Ellis Payington pays us a visit. Listen. Oh, excuse, that's who I was trying to say. Like, wait, what? I'll just look and go, were you, you and the colonel were with Miss Scarlett in the ballroom

listening to her fine tunes play? Oh, we were actually in the billiards hall. I mean, his table's much better than mine, so. Oh. I always appreciate the chance to rack up and hit a few. Oh, of course, of course. And I'm going to take a moment to... of squint my eyes, look over at Claudette, who's storming out of the room, having just brought

the clotion here. And I think that there's a moment where I just go, I wonder who she was playing for. And I'll say, in any case, let's light up a cigarette for a moment. I think Dennis is about to get started. Yes. Do I catch Claudette's eyes as you're going out of the room? 100%. I'll look over at Claudette. as you're walking out and just look at the pistol you were looking at and mouth the word help to you with a thumb across the

real quick. She immediately redirects and is going to come out to the balcony. And that same little close, she brings it out and you can see the empty plate and then she like bangs it again and there was like a second one stuck up in the curve of it. So there's a couple more like,

do you guys want to try? Oh, why not? Help my son. Thank you, Claudette. You see behind you, Mr. Boddy, is having a very urgent whispered conversation with Miss Scarlett, who looks upset. Mrs. Peacock is oblivious to this and is currently examining the wrench. Green Knight, how's it gone? Well, I'd say we're... It's always nice to see Rutherford take an interest in the working man's plight.

I was about to say the same. Very strange for a man such as he to host a celebration of work. Certainly. Well, I would see to it that I'm really moved, and I'm so glad that he was able to take up the cause of workers, not only from this present moment, but some from centuries are, in fact, millennia previous to this. Yes, he showed me the knife from Egypt, held by an Egyptian, he said.

Farrow. With steel. Well, of course, steel, and then of course the idea that it was perhaps made better by his head. Well, I think we all recognize that the Bronze Age came well after the steel age. Thank you. Yes, of course. Well, you can't beat the booze. We have booze?

We certainly do. Some of our fine Canadian friends have seen fit to curry. These favors from the far north here. I'm going to reach across you to find your drink. Just take a little sip. It's like, and I'll actually go over on the balcony and just take out a completely unlabeled dark bottle of whiskey and pour some.

He asked of the day where they can put the labels back on the bottles. I love this juice. Sorry, French, French, French, I love this juice. Real quick, I just, I'm doing a little bit of field testing. This is a new candy of ours that we're working on. These are penny cups. PENY cups. A bit of chocolate.

A bit of peanut butter. Peanut butter is a little artificial, but it's good. Well, we have to... Artificial? It's fine. No, it's the preservatives. Oh. We can't get... We need to be able to keep it on the shelves.

Look at a little salt just to really cut through. I like that. Chocolate's wonderful. I mean, it's, what is it? Why, it's... How did you get that temper? Hmm? The temper on it.

Oh, he doesn't have a temper. I think he's a completely reasonable, lovely man. Well, fine, you tell her, or I will tell her myself. Darling, if you tell her, I'll go to the press. I'm sure they'd love to hear all about it. I literally, like, hands out to them, like, gossip's happening. Hold on. Yeah, I think I'll freeze in the moment.

I have, like, a lit match two inches away from a cigar, and just eyes wide, completely frozen. That's right. I'm sure that the press would like to do. know about all of it. I'm sure they'd love to see those little photos of them. There's a moment where at this point, Mr. Body and Miss Scarlet, uh, look around. See you watching. Miss Scarlett turns as red as her name and she heads out. No, don't storm all. Stay. Continue. Dinner, uh, dinner is served and he looks to you. Oh, I wouldn't know. I was a guest invited. Thank you.

I'll look over at him and say, dinner is served. Thank you. Thank you, Cass. You don't have to do that. I look to Mr. Green. Well, for after dinner then. Dirty calls.

Cigar away. Yeah. And I'll, I will walk, I know that the staff have all been sent home, but I will basically walk back knowing that everything has been laid out and prepared and just walk it into the dining room. Don't have to do this part.

I'm just walking behind you, harassing you while also making sure the right things get picked up. Like she's doing the job she will just bitch her way through. As you're doing it, I'm saying it's a liability. The staff turnover at the Body Mansion means that we don't know who's going to say what to the police. And so... Aren't you a lawyer? Well, I brought up the legal liability and so he said you can do it.

And I said, well, I've talked myself into more humiliation. So here we go. You enter the dining room, which is a long table set at one. and for just six people, but clearly capable of serving 20. The colors are white and purple. The linens are with fine blue cornflower pattern, China depicting perhaps an English idea of what a Chinese pastoral scene might look like. There's shining silverware laid out with what Mrs. White you would know to be probably one more fork than is necessary. and there are long oil still lives of fruit and feasts and festivals and abundance in gilded frames behind you.

As you all sit down to dinner, which is sort of a serve yourself type of a deal due to the staff not being currently in the mansion, there is a pause in conversation. And I think you all take a look around at each other and what is on your faces? Cassidy is distracted and I think normally would be present to like make eye contact about some of the shitty things being said or kerfuffles. You know, Peacock is sort of oblivious and Scarlet is not, you know, Cassie's not a fan of Scarlet. But I think any time there's meant to be a meaningful moment of connection, Cassidy, is sort of looking down at the table with his head turned in the direction of whoever is speaking and has his briefcase by his feet in the dining room. Claw's expression is one of like that sort of like mingled, consternate. Like she's self chastising and a little upset because every,

she can't stop herself from cycling back to complaining about something about the food or like the temperature it should have been brought out at. And this is why like someone should be. As much as she wants to be that kind of like effervescent dilettante that sits a top of the need to be useful, she cannot help herself, but like deeply care about this food even though she was only like part of it a little bit and every time she like begins to spin up usually to complain with a half-forgotten French accent

she like clocks it in herself and then gets a little quiet and then looks around and then grabs like her glass of wine and refills it and continues drinking and it's just like this weird cycle. I think Professor Plum is I think realizing that he maybe needs to pace himself a little bit more, and as he has been imbibing just a bit too much, I think, and feels his eyes kind of locked on Fred talking to Mr. Body, hoping the conversation is the one he wants it to be.

And you notice that Fred Mustard is making the kind of conversation where he's talking about something innocuous but clearly looking for an opening. Miss Scarlett, who had hurried away earlier and arrived a little later than you, has clearly been crying. she has smudged eyeliner. Her lips have been redone, but clearly she didn't have any further mascara in her arsenal, so her eyes are a little the worse for wear. Mrs. Peacock is really very much enjoying. She's sitting next to you, Mrs. White,

keeps tapping your arm and, oh, I like that. I like the way that you incorporate plants into it, you know. I was really in. inspired by your, the arrangement, the way you had like the petal side of phasing out. And I was like, what if we... You know, when I was younger, they tried to bring tomatoes to the UK. And they thought that it might be the plants that were the edible part, which are, in fact, as you know, a nightshade. How many people died?

Was that the cause of the black play? No, well, dear, I'm not. that old. Who could say? I was only there for, I was only there for the, you know, the, the, the, the second one, the one after the 1600, the one that was this spread from, I think, mummy bags, the bags that were made of mummies, I think you guys used to consume mummy. Crazy. And I'm going to make sure her wine glass is always full. This has been the greatest love story of my life. I love Mrs. Peek So much.

She has clearly taken quite a shine to you. Where's, sorry, what's our like sitting, what's our sitting order? Oh, where are we? So there are six of you, oh, I'm sorry, there are seven of you. Mr. Body is at the head of the table. You are seated on one side of Mr. Body next to Mrs. Peacock. And on the other side of body is Scarlet. and mustard.

And Cassidy, Cassidy is next to mustard. Ooh. And Plum is on the other side of Cassidy, I believe. On the other side, like across the table? Across the table from Cassidy. Okay, so Cassidy, so like,

me and Professor Plummer are at the foot of the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At this point, Scarlett is eating quietly, sort of sulking her pretty lips in a

very a very bowed pout which gives Fred mustard the space to lean in front of her and speak with Mr. Boddy. And you can overhear him

saying, listen, it's just I don't want to I don't want to believe any of the rumors that I've been hearing, but you know my feelings about the new research and development branch. And I would hope that you wouldn't be using any of that at all, much less for countries that are less friendly to America at the moment. Oh, you know,

I just, listen, somebody's going to make them. And it might as well be us. We can put that money towards good causes, you know, here in the community. At this point, Mrs. Peacock actually perks up and turns away from you and says, oh, like the children's library in downtown? Oh, well, that's, I mean, that was more my mother's. sort of pet project. You know, I...

I'm gonna kick body under, like just under the table if I'm sitting next to him. Just give him a little shin kick, like, nice. He gives you a bit of an amorous look. Oh, no, I understand what he likes now. Gives you, gives you a look that says later. And he says, yes, you know, I... As good as that,

money might be for a children's library, I feel that it would be a lot more of a razzle-dazzle moment to have the name, you know, a new concert hall, or, you know, something lively and entertaining, you know, there's a time for celebration. I mean, I don't hate entertainment, like we are in just an age of music and poetry, and we should be celebrating this. Yes, yes. And he takes his wine glass and, you know, raises it for a toast. I don't like that this is going. Like, there's a look on her face. It's like,

I don't like that you like me right now. Okay. All right. Scarlett also does not like that he likes you at this moment. But Fred perseveres and says, no, no, no, but listen, I, think about the implications of it. I mean, you know what we all went through and how awful it was for everybody over there.

And I just, I don't want to happen to anybody, you know, not even our enemies. I mean, but wasn't that the last great war? Well, you know, this is not an official government position, but that was the great war and I hope to see it be the last. But, you know, war is omnipresent in our lives. Oh, come on, Fred. Don't be such a downer.

I mean, think about all of the incredible advancements we've had because of research and development into these kinds of things. I mean, who is going to, who's going to, Fund, the kind of science that, you know, like the government and the military. Isn't that right, Professor? That was me once. Yes, and now you have great advancements in the realm of peanut butter. Yes, I'm a candy man now.

Well, Mr. Green, you'll be being very quiet. Yes, is anything wrong, Bean? I just want to make sure that we... have everything in order for festivities after dinner is concluded. Ah, yes, yes. I do look forward to it seems like quite a few of you have taken a shine to some of the items. I cannot wait for the lively discussions that we'll have about them. I'm looking at Miss Scarlett right now. The conversation that was had in the lounge when myself and Mrs. White and Professor Plum were on the balcony.

She was the voice who had said, you need to tell her. Or I will. Or I will. And then his counter to that was I'll go to the press. Gotcha. Okay. I think I'm just keeping my eyes on Scarlet for a moment here.

But I'm also just looking distracted. How close is dinner to being done? You're on, it looks like you're finishing your entrees. Okay. And if you're looking at Scarlett, I think at this moment, since she's not currently in conversation with anybody, she'll meet your days. I'll just take a look at her. Her mascara is running. I've just rarely seen her, like, lacking composure like this.

So I think that Cassidy will just look over and be like, what was that little ditty you were playing before dinner, Mrs. Scarlett. Um, uh, it's just, uh, uh, she gathers herself and says, oh, just a little something that I heard out at a club. Um, are you able to play from memory? Um, uh, why, yes. Play it by ear, so to speak. Um, yes, I, um, it's, it's something that I never quite got good enough at, I think.

to be frank with you, but, but my, I, you know, I do, I do enjoy it. I do enjoy music quite a lot. It, it's calming, you know. Have I ever heard her say something self-effacing before? Have I ever heard her say something like, like, oh, I never got good enough at it? In a joking manner, she has. I think that. This was very earnest.

Yes. This, in a way, I think, is her actually. She's clearly thinking about it and feeling bad in a moment of sort of self-pity. But she says, but thank you so much for noticing. You could all hear me? Um, yes. Oh, I'm sorry about that. No, it was, it was lovely.

Really? Lovely. That's what I said, isn't it? That's true, but is that what you mean? Yes. Even, I mean, she giggles a bit at that one. And she looks over to you, Cassidy, and she gives a little nod. I will, looking to avoid scrutiny at the table and not liking to be in large group social encounters, really. I think you can see Cassidy's like, never good at a dinner table, really.

I'm just going to lean back and lean back like I'm checking on the sort of the grandfather clock in the corner of the room and pull a handkerchief out of my inside pocket and just hand it sort of behind Colonel Mustard to her and quickly like drag a finger under each of my eyes. Oh, I'm so sorry. My makeup must have no, it's this new stuff. I don't know how you do it, you know, keeping it going all night long. Claw's gotten really quiet since her sort of like friends in this are being kind to Scarlett. And she's like sort of vacillating between opinions and it's going to make sort of pointed contact with Cassie, like eye contact with Cassidy. Just to like, it's like a little query of like, why are we being nice? I think you make eye contact with me, and it is freaky because I'm totally vacant.

After I hand the handkerchief, I make eye contact with you, and on my face, do not register that we are looking at each other for like a good five seconds. And then finally, after we're staring at each other as the conversation continues, I suddenly snap back into my body and look alarmed that I've so clearly lost to my train of thought. And now I'm just like looking at you embarrassed like where was I? Did it like literally like giving you the look of like I missed a joke or I missed something? You know what? I'll take that as the cue. There is something inside of the like, okay, actually everyone's everyone's a little insane. And I'm just going to like give like a little like head nod gesture in the vague direction of like leaving the room with that like sort of like girl to girl implication of like powder room?

If you'll excuse me for a moment, I need to go fix my makeup. And she moves off. Boys, I have to ask, who do we think is going to win the pennant? Is Bays going to do it again? Well, I mean, he's a hell of an athlete. The Great Gambino, yes. I'd put money down on that, you know?

Nobody doesn't like him. Salt and a swatter, so they say. Yeah, I think he's got another championship. in them for sure. Pirates look good, but I think he can beat them. Oh, the piles. Everybody's saying that. Um, you know, and you move off to one of the powder rooms just off of the dining room.

So I'm going to lead, uh, Susie past, like, closest powder room to, like, a little, it's, it almost looks like a little, like, linen closet. Uh, and then back behind it, there's, like, a small jewelry case. And there's just, like, a little trove. of leftover makeup. Look, if you're a part of, look over, look, and I'll drop the accent. Look, if you're going to be a part of the body count,

just make sure you know where we keep the stuff. And I grab makeup and a little, like, a tiny flask of vodka and then take her into the powder room. And, like, with, like, the little tools using, like, sip the vodka, pass her the flask and sanitize, like, the brush that's in there. Oh, thank you. Yeah, I have got you.

The body count. That's very funny. I, so are you and body? Oh, God. Ancient history. Oh, oh. And if anyone asks, I do a French accent the whole time. Okay.

Right, right, yeah. Hold still, look up. Oh, okay. I, sorry, I was a little cold and rude before it was. I thought that maybe you disliked me because of, well, I thought you and, you dislike you and. Yeah, I do dislike you. Nobody's ever frank like that out on the West Coast. Everybody's so polite and kind and yet, you know.

But why? Why? Uh, because I'm friends with Marlene. Oh. And whatever happened between... Talk about me? I mean... Wait, did she ever...

When did you last see her? Well, I haven't... I haven't had a chance to see her since I've been back, but... Oh, are you in Marlene? Pen pals? Wait, hold on. Scala looks a little crestfallen. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm.

Are you and, wait, are you and Marlene? Pen pals? Oh, we were corresponding before and I think there must have been some miscommunication and I thought that she left, she dumped me.

Don't? Yes. Well, as a pen pal, You know? Oh! I want you to be very, very, very... You have to be honest. I'm holding you by the chin,

and I've got just a... a sharp tool full of black coal powder. Very close to your eye. Yes. You have to tell me. Oh. Are you too involved? I know.

I know. No, no. That was not an admission of anything. Yes, I... Well, we were, and I, and I, well, I assumed that you were friends with her, and I assumed that you were pen pals and, um... Not like that. Wait, why not like that? Wait, why not? What's wrong with me? Married. I knew it.

So, is this what New York High Society is like? Oh, I'm not a member of High Society? What? You're here. You're, I... And you... Your friend sent me immediately to the kitchen to finish dinner. Oh, God. It's debatable about whether I'd call him a friend.

Sure. We've been gone too long. I know he said he had some big announcement that he wanted to make. Let's, yeah. Listen, thank you. We can discuss this later. Sure. If you're a friend of Marlene's, I would like maybe in your next.

pen pal letter you can tell her that I'm thinking of her. And Scarlett moves out. She clicks the compact closed and moves out back to the dining room. Miss Peacock, I said, would you like a nibbler? A what? I didn't. That doesn't sound like a polite thing to ask the lady. It's a type of chocolate that I've done.

meat. Oh, yes, that's still as sweet. Yes, that sounds delightful. Yes, a sweet. Could use a little bit of spice. Have you considered using spices? Oh, well, all of you folks here in America, it's a little much for you, I think. At this point, as you re-enter the room, body taps on his wine glass. It says, friends, thank you so much for joining me here this evening. This has been a delight so far, and we have a whole evening left of fine conversations, scintillating discussions about these workers of the world uniting in this collection of mine. I am glad you could join me here because this will be the last salon for some time.

I'm going off to Europe tomorrow. Tomorrow morning I will get picked up and I will be on the freighter away to Europe for some business discussions. So thank you for joining me here on this last night. I'm going to make eye contact with Rutherford and say, a business trip overseas. How long will you be gone? for a, who knows? I might pop around for a little bit. And at this point, Colonel Mustard stands up, and he says, Rutherford, I know what you're going over there to do, and I can't condone it.

You're going to go talk to Germany and... Maybe Russia? And, and, and, and, and, and I, you don't know what I saw out there. I was one of the only ones to survive in my unit, and I don't want you making weapons like that ever again. Sit down, mustard. Listen, all of you here, enjoy the three. roots of my labors, the kind of business deals that I make when I go overseas on my little

jaunts and, you know, we eat these fine meals and we have these lovely discussions about my collections, you know, by the grace of these, as you call them, a terrible business deals. I just turn and now I'm just staring down Professor Plum. I think Professor Plum just takes a deep sip of liquor or liquor. Uh, Mrs. Peacock says, are you off? Can I have whatever some would do, whatever you're having, dear? Uh, well, you'd have to talk to the dear Mr. Green. Uh, what can I get you, Mrs. Peacke? Whatever it is that he's sipping that seems so effective.

We have, we have some, uh, whiskey in, and we also have a nice bottle of brand. Yes. All right. I'm going to stand up. Listen, whom amongst you, you know, has the fortitude to make these kinds of choices? Rutherford, we are no one's accusing you of, well, he sort of is. This is not good for everyone's digestion. Why don't we all move into a different room and let cooler heads?

heads prevail. I was just about to go get the baked Alaska. If we... Amazing. You know, I... Okay. Forget the baked Alaska. We're... Hold on. No, just listen. All right. You're right. I apologize. This is no way to treat my friends. Why don't we all take a moment? Everybody find a room. We're all just going to cool down a little bit. and at midnight meet me in the lounge We're going to have brandy And we're going to have cigars And we are going to discuss my treasures

And then in the morning After we've had our fill Of good friends and good food and good conversation I'm going to go off to Europe for a little jaunt And when I come back We're going to celebrate again Do it all over again another big feta the body mansion.

Rutherford, while we're getting ready for that, can I borrow you for a moment if that's all right? Oh, absolutely. All right. And at this moment, you can all head off to various rooms. I think Colonel Mustard, who had sat down after his outburst, and clearly this was very difficult for him. He's shaken.

and he moves off. And you see Miss Scarlett sprints back over to the ballroom, towards the direction of the ballroom, and you can hear the piano start up, and this time it is even, if possible, worse. It is clunky and loud, and it is clear that she's deeply affected by this. Mrs. Peacock shuffles over to the, possibly to the conservatory.

And mustard seems to meander towards the hall. Mrs. White, where do you go to? I immediately stand up feeling a little, like, no, the baked Alaska. I worked hard on that. No. And in a sort of fit of peak, having fought this sort of warring feeling internally, I'm going to head to the library where the little scale model of the restaurant he wants to open with me is sitting. Professor Plum.

I think Professor Plum is going to lift up his glass of whiskey and to no one just to your toils, Rutherford. and then it's going to finds the cigar in his pocket for Mr. Green, realize he has no cutter and head for the kitchen. Very good.

Listen, Cass, I'm sorry. I'm just a little on edge lately. I, you know, I'm not used to... You're right. I'm at these government types. I don't... I was really meant for this. Martha, in your lifestyle,

the things you get up to in your private life here in New York, they won't hold up to the scrutiny that's going to be coming your way if you have multiple contracts. The Ruskis? Those kami pinkos? You signed some kind of industrial deal with the Reds. This Uncle Sam's going to come down on you like a ton of bricks. Well, you know, I mean, I've got deals out with Uncle Sam as well, as you well know. Rutherford, you've got to...

Look, I know I'm not your corporate counsel, and I'm not sure what they're telling you to do, No. No. You know what? Cassie, you're not my corporate counsel. And I think you'd do well to remember it. You know, it would have served your father well to do that with mine. But listen, listen, I'm sorry to bring our old men into this. Listen, you and I, we're not like the rest of them, you know. We understand each other and, you know, I'll always, take care of you and anything you need done, and to do that, I need money, right? Always take care of me. I'll always have a job, making sure that the liquor cabinet is stocked, and there's no limit to the amount of popular musicians and beautiful women cycling out through your life, exactly the lifestyle that every lawyer dreams of at Yale. I mean, what a life, right? You never thought that you. Never thought that you.

you'd be in the thick of it, partying this way. Yeah. I'm going to bring my briefcase up. My hands are kind of shaking. I'm going to open it and say, everything's prepared if you'd like to sign it. Yes, yes, yes. He reaches into, he checks his inner coat pockets

and pulls out a fountain pen. And, you know, without looking through it, he signs his name at the bottom. florid signature. Great, okay. Listen, Cass, I'm going to head over to the lounge and arrange the items for maximum viewing pleasure. You need to tell people,

hmm? They're shaking as I put the papers that have changed my life and made me very likely to one day be the wealthiest man I know. As I shake and put them back in my briefcase, I go, you need to, to make any sense for me to be your heir, Rudd. I'm your friend. I'm your conciliary.

I'm your illicit gopher. You're my best friend. I know, and you're mine, Rud. You always will be. But look, I'm telling you, ever since you let go of my law firm, we have not been able to attract the same level of clientele. I work with dangerous people. I know, and that's how you have the best party.

What I'm trying to tell you, Rudd, is if anything were to happen to you and I were to actually have this legal document come into effect, do you know what happened to my reputation? The questions people would ask, a man who was cut out of the legitimate business inherits it? You'd have enough money that people wouldn't need to ask questions or wouldn't dare to. But I'll tell anybody anything if you want that makes you feel better. I need to be out in the sunlight. I need for people to know that I'm an honest man. Right, all right, all right. Yes, yes, all right.

Well, I'll take care of that. But listen, leave that for now, all right? That can wait until tomorrow. You got it, Rudd. Yeah. All right, good man. I think as he leaves the room, I go back to what Plum said,

Rutherford's Toils, as he talks about his money. And I think about my father's name. Not only did Rutherford obviously not build his fortune, his father didn't either. And I think about the hours I missed with my dad as he made another man's son rich. And I think I feel something squeezing and tightening. in my heart like something made of rope twisting. So during this time, this entire time you hear the frankly offensive version of jazz going in the ballroom, the entire time. And as it nears midnight, you will all.

All of you, I suppose would you like to move back out towards the lounge to meet with Mr. Body to have your salon? Yeah, I'm going to swing by the kitchen and go touch the baked Alaska. Like, one big click, yeah. One big fork out of it. You see, there's already a fork out of it. Everybody's like to make a slice of the big Alaska and just like, who did this? I don't care what he says. I was excited.

for that baked Alaska. Actually, that like, it drastically improves her mood. That, like, other people came over. It's not about the presentation. Just enjoy it. Okay.

All right. She came in to be mean about it and then saw that, like, some amount of other people. God damn. Everybody else said it. Okay. Yeah.

Actually. Okay. And she takes her little forkful and then heads over to the lounge. All right. So, as you enter the lounge, uh,

Plum arrives first, and then Cassidy shows up, and then Mrs. White show up. And as you arrive, and as the clock strikes midnight, suddenly there's a clap of thunder outside in the blustery night, and the lights go out. What? It's I mean, you hear two loud gunshots coming from the study. Cassidy did not flinch at all at the gunshots. Okay, so screamed at thunder,

nothing to gunshots. Respect. You hear the music stop and you hear running from different parts of the house towards the study. Plum looks at Clough Do we

We have to Are the lights back on? As you ask Do we, the lights come back on? Oh Necessity I'm going to look at The two of you

We are all in this room experiencing this together That's correct You're all in the lounge And you hear a commotion coming from the study The study And I'm going to dart out the door I'm just going to yell

Towards the gunshot! Yeah, I have the same thought. Perhaps Mr. Green is the man who moves toward violence rather than away from it. Okay, okay. I'm going to look around in this room. Is there a little fireplace? Yes, there's a little fireplace, actually. There's a hawth, there's a poker. I'll get behind you then. Put one hand on your shoulder as we move slowly out of the room.

As we're leaving the lounge, can I have my eyes dart to the marble plinths that were in here early? Yes, you can. Wow, didn't even clog it. Um, you see that the rope, the knife, the lead pipe, and the wrench are all on their plinths, but that the candlestick and the, not a pistol, but a revolver are missing. as I'm darting out the door to run towards the study, we counted two shots, there was a clap of thunder, and I'm just going to go, Wyatt Arrides again, and I'm going to run,

I'm going to run off towards the study. Yeah, zero lack of self-preservation. My God, an active shooter. This is why we call you Green Knight. So as Mr. Green sprints towards the study, and the two of you carefully make your way out, gripping Mrs. White, gripping a poker, you encounter the other three guests going towards the study.

Mrs. Peacock shuffling slowly, Miss Scarlett sprinting on her heels, catching up to her, and mustard, a man of action, but clearly not in the practice of running currently, trailing behind them. You come up to the study. Do you open the door?

Who opens the door? I'll open the door. Why? I think if you read Cass's face, hearing those gunshots, I think weirdly Cass on his face has an expression of horror and not of danger.

and if you can read his, I don't know how well you can read your friend's face at this point, but I think he hears gunshots and doesn't assume it was someone shooting someone else. It's like, oh, it's like running for like, oh God, did something. Like, we need to, like, he's assuming medical. Like, that's what's going on with it. Wait, wait. You open the door to the study, which is the hunting trophy room.

It's mahogany. and you smell the old musty leather, and you feel a disconcerting number of eyes on you as it is filled with the trophies of Mr. Body. It's horned elk heads, even a platform with a small white rhinoceros on it behind the desk. There's a wall with ledges of different heights. Each is a perch for a stuffed, glass-eyed bird.

All of them feel like they are on you at this moment. and sitting at the desk slumped over with a bullet shot in his head is Mr. Rutherford Q. Body. And that is the end of episode one. That was Abrea Aingar as Miss White, Lou Wilson as Professor Plum, Brett and Lee Mulligan as Mr. Green and Erike Ishii as everyone and everything else. Hint was edited and designed by Kate Sanders. Music appears courtesy ofartless.io and the Creative Commons and the great public domain. Thanks for joining us here on the ghastly grounds of the body estate.

But even more wonders await you beyond the veil on our Patreon. Come and join us by the fireside, won't you? We'll see you there.