Worst Case Scenario with Abi Clarke and Julia Stenton - Day 10 - Apollo 13

Episode Date: July 26, 2023

On April 11th 1970, astronauts Jim Lovell, Fred Haise and Jack Swigert took off from Kennedy Space Centre in Florida headed for space... it was intended to be the third Apollo mission to land on the moon...until an explosion caused oxygen levels in part of the spacecraft to plummet to zero. They were over 200,000 miles from earth.Moved into a part of the rocket that would serve as their 'life boat' they shared oxygen and space meant for two people between three, and the whole world held it's breath as they began their mission around the moon and attempted to get back to earth safely. This episode of Worst Case Scenario is their story.Send in tales of survival from your own worst case scenario to [e-mail] and don't forget follow the podcast on Instagram @wcspod to see pictures mentioned by Abi and Julia on this episode and all episodes so far.Theme tune by the brilliant Crizards who can be found on Instagram @crizards Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get attacked by an angry shark Stuck up a mountain in the dark Pushed up a top of a big landmark Hit by lightning in your local park Caught in a downpour of acid rain Struck by meteor or a tray A proton bee passing through your brain Attacked by that angry shark again

Hear how they survive Trappled by a herd of buffalo chased with an axe by your new friend Joe Burried alive in a pile of snow worst case scenario chin chin double digits welcome to episode 10 we made it day turn

the critics said we wouldn't and look at us the critics said anything too yeah i don't think they even know we exist how about a couple people say but audio always haven't fired us yet whoo whew thanks this on me yet if you don't want us to get fired or this podcast to disappear please do give us a review or rating follow subscribe um anything else um and if you want to be involved in this shit show you can write in yeah tell us your worst case scenarios send them to

help at wcspod dot com look 10 in it only took me 10 and i know it and that was still bad oh thanks okay collectively as a team we were bad um have you survived this week sure yeah Barely, good. Okay. Fine. Julia's hungover. I'm really hungover. But she's still on the urine like a legend.

Yeah, I'm hoping that this margarita sorts me out. She's very professional. That's me. She drinks when she needs to. Yes, I will drink through the, their hair of the dog, that's what they say, isn't it? So this should help me out. This is exactly what I need. Uh-huh.

I guess that or... Have you not heard that phrase? Yeah, I have. I just could only think of Loudrop. I just been better. getting him and then you're like hair at the dog and I was like on me where it's not all about you Abby um but you know it's how I prefer it I love that producer Neil's assumption was that you hadn't heard that phrase before and actually the reality was you were just thinking about

yourself no I was thinking about Aldra he's just tapping around you can't say dog and not expect me to think dog how what have you oh I'm quite concerned about you you said me at the stranger's picture it was so disturbing it was worse than anything and I want you to know when I saw it I thought of you yeah thank you I'm insulted by that um what did I say it's worse than anything John Sweeney has ever put to paper and if you haven't listened to the John Sweeney episode that's who I'm referring to he was a terrible artist and a horrible man yeah so I sent Julia this painting that is up in my local cafe this is a cafe update i cannot believe they have this where people are supposed to eat and enjoy food and i sent it to julia saying feel like the guy in your

story painted this and julia responded fucking hell i hope that's not in a restaurant and i said my local cafe and julia said i'd been the next free lemon drizzle if i were you yeah so what it is is um a woman a naked woman the tits are a real focus Focus. Real big to it. But like her head is a skull that's being like parted by some hands. It's kind of like, um, it's like the skulls been cracked in half. But it's also as if like, she's missing a leg. Her hands are huge. The body is is very pink. But the skull is super dead. Like it's a browny gray color, very, very skull-like. And something's coming out of her stomach. Her stomach is an. inky blue, just massive hole. I'm worried about the leg and they've really put effort to like still show all the muscles spailing out where their legs should be. Yeah. So that's my local cafe. Who approved that? They were just really into art there. What can I say? They're just really supportive of creatives. You could take a kid to that cafe. They'd be scarred for life.

They do. But like I said, so I told you this, this wasn't on the podcast, but I saw the cafe owner in the pub, me and my housemates invited him over. We're now first name basis. Hmm. And I'm worried this is the last girl he was first name basis with. Yeah. I think you need a new cafe. Oh,

but the money saving. Yeah. No, actually he's got a he's got a lady now. Also, also, also also, um, a in his basement or? Well, you know.

no he like started dating because I walked part this is such a little I want to follow it's a hub I kind of technically do I was walking back from the tube yeah you're the creep in this I think I'm the creeping

yeah he was in a pub outside holding a lady's hands being Italian and romantic and I was like and then later yeah he's just with her all the time turns out she's also a local cafe go

and are you now no longer getting those lemon drizzles? I can't say I'm not offended. I was clearly, so all these people being like, he was clearly, actually, I was very strongly friend zoned. And I think it's the best of both worlds, actually. No, I still get a discount. Do you?

So he was just a genuinely good guy or like murderer, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think you also probably give off quite harsh, don't talk to me vibes. I do. So I imagine maybe the other woman that he was giving free lemon drizzle to was maybe a bit more friendly but i've i've tried my best and then i was actually a bit worried the other day that i just wasn't quite there with the banter i didn't

quite bring it and i was like is it the new woman is it is it she's rattled you he's rattled me yeah you felt confident before i was like he's not interested i tried to make some jokes i made some like you know i was like you've lost it well i'm sure i'll see you soon i was like because i'm following you on your dates and he didn't laugh so that's yeah you are the creep you were officially I'm worried for this guy now I was worried when I saw the painting and now we're back to you

well I'm attending a child's birthday on Sunday so more creepy behavior do they sell those pictures no I'm bringing it as a gift no it's my nephew's fourth birthday and it's the first proper party they've done for him what do they do bouncy castle my brother

keeps ad they make a ball pit I request it. I think there's going to be a water fight and I do not want to be involved in that. But they have a list on Amazon of like what to buy him. Sorry, yeah, go on. It's actually Abony on.

Because I'm the fun one. Who you gave you about feelings. Jokes. Do you want to tell me a story? Yes, shall we? Okay, Abby. Yeah. This is a big.

one so strap in good okay that was entirely visual it's i'll be just strapped in for those listening um it's july 1969 the sexiest of all the years yeah and jim lovel oh sexy name as well right this sounds like the start of a porno kind of oh oh loud drop what you doing um Hey, baby. Okay. Jim Lovell is glued to his television set, eyes wide, and mouth open. Watching porn? I assume I wasn't.

I wasn't there. As he watches his friend take the most famous couple of steps in history and announce, this is one small step for man. No way. One giant leap for mankind. And he was like, fake. Yeah. I don't believe it.

He's died it. And this is about the conspiracy theory. It's like, I saw you yesterday. Fake. I can see you and find my friends. You're not on the moon. Yeah. Yep.

And that's how this story is going. Within 16 months, 12 men have flown to the moon and four have walked on it. Isn't that mental? Within 16 months, so many, NASA had flown so many. Oh, it's all NASA? Yeah. It wasn't like different people. No, no, no, this is all America.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think that's quite impressive. I guess it's just like their new hobby. They got really into it. They got really into it. You know, like, when you take a crochet and like for like six months you're like crochet queen, like that is your whole personality and then you immediately stuff it under your bird and never touch it again. I mean, no, but I can imagine that is an issue.

I'm a hobby's gal. It's April 1970 and NASA is preparing to set foot on the moon. for a third time Jim Lovell played in the film by Tom Hanks What film, babe? Apollo 13

Okay There's a famous Sorry, I thought Maybe you might have assumed it was Apollo 13 from the third time Okay, so Is that what Apollo 13 is about?

Yeah, I'm going to tell you the story I don't actually know what Apollo 13's about Excellent, I didn't think you would You've, after this, you have got to watch the film because it is incredible It completely stands up It's Tom Hanks. It's Kevin Bacon.

It's Bill Paxton. Oh, the holy trinity of 90s actors. Oh, you shut your sweet mouth. That's not true. He just does phone adverts now. Oh, my God. He's so much more than that. He's so much more.

Okay, so Jim Lovell, Tom Hanks, is the mission commander. And Apollo 13 is set to be his fourth space flight and his first time walking on the moon. But let's take it back to 1962. And the newly formed National Aeronautics and Space Administration is recruiting experience, that's NASA, is recruiting experienced airmen to train to be the first American astronauts. They're approaching those with a naval aviation background, specifically test pilots. Because you've got to be a badass to be a test pilot.

Because you're essentially going up in things that aren't fully tested. Why would anyone want to do that, though? Because you're an adrenaline junkie, you want to help the progression of science. I don't know, you can be an adrenaline junkie in something that's well tested already. Yeah, but somebody has to test it. Yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. Okay, well, this is not the job for you then. So, Jim is a very experienced test pilot.

And they're so important because you have to make really snap decisions in life or death situations. They have to keep a calm head. They're the perfect people you want in space. is it true that like astronauts are literally trained not to like scream probably i wouldn't be surprised or panic like even if they're dying and they're like shit's going down they have to like stay down well you the good thing about this is that you can hear loads of the actual audio because i was obviously they're in constant radio communication between mission control and the um spacecraft so and they sound like they're just a day at the beach

Like it's insane how calm they sound throughout the whole thing. Yeah. It's wild. So Jim becomes a NASA astronaut on the second round of recruits and they are referred to as the next nine. And each of the astronauts was given four months of classroom instruction on subjects such as spacecraft propulsion, orbital mechanics, astronomy, computing and space medicine. They're also trained in jungle survival.

tropical survival desert survival yeah they could land anywhere and water survival nice so they're covered I feel like water survival is them most likely it is yeah you're absolutely right

each astronaut was assigned a special area in which to develop expertise that could be shared with the others and provide astronaut input to designers and engineers so they're really like integral to the whole system Jim became responsible for recovery systems which is going to be quite important

Okay, what's recovery systems? So when things go wrong, how to get things back on track, he's the expert in that. So what the other two are you doing? Well, they'd pick a different area to be an expert in. So it might be like guidance, it might be piloting. But like if something goes wrong, it's just all on one guy. Well, I mean, I guess they, well, that's the point is that they, it spreads out the, it's a time management thing, isn't it? Because if you become an expert in something and then I become an expert in something different,

then we have to do a mission together. No, but I'm an expert and everything. Right, okay. I look forward to seeing you walking on the moon. So he worked on NASA's initial Gemini programs. I fucking knew. As soon as I picked this one, I was like, she's going to go down the conspiracy route.

So predictable. So he works on Gemini program seven and 12 exploring like just getting into space and orbiting the moon and you know like this is early days of NASA and then he starts working on the Apollo missions where he was a backup and replaced a guy called Mike Collins on Apollo 8 and then he was a backup for a little guy called Neil Armstrong oh that's got a suck yeah on Apollo 11 which obviously he didn't need replacing so they always have two crews so he's like swing they have a main crew and a swing crew exactly right it always comes back to musical head yeah god i suck jim is mission commander for the next

apollo mission apollo 13 and completing the lineup is ken mattingly who will be the command module flight pilot and fred hayes who will be lunar module pilot then the lunar module is the little spidery shape thing that detaches and then flies down to the moon you've definitely seen it so when you see them walking on the moon it's a that's the it's a separate little module yeah so has he made the cut this time yeah he's the command he's the guy in charge how do he how do you i guess just spent so long in the company they saw you could play the lead yeah god i hope i get it i hope i get it i'd love to see an apollo 13 musical yeah oh my god that would be great let's write it okay okay um it will be both ken and fred's first time in space so jim is the most experienced that doesn't

sound i mean they've got you got to have your first time haven't you yeah but two people in the first time and he he's not his first time but it's his first time it's his fourth time um yeah but i mean that's what has he been commander before no i don't think so but also like there have been so few missions that hardly anybody has been like he's the most experience probably on the whole of NASA's roster because he's been up four times not many people have done that okay Jim's wife Marilyn is the only person who seems to be bothered by the name Apollo 13 she's like can we not do it like a lift and change it let's skip 13 and go straight to 14 she's a bit superstitious what's wrong with 13 13 are you joking 13 there's like famously

an unlucky number. Unlucky 13. Have you, are you a human being? Are you, do you really have never heard that? I don't know, maybe. I didn't know it was 13.

Wow. Okay, well 13 is. Oh yeah, lucky number seven. Lucky seven, yeah. And then unlucky 13. People like avoid 30, so even some, so lots of hotels don't have a 13th floor. Really?

They don't have a 13th room. Yeah. so Marilyn was like guys let's not do it um but the NASA nerds were like superstitions are bullshit yeah and they they doubled down and they scheduled the launch for for one 13 p.m which in military time is 13 13 13 was it on the 13th no it was on the 11 okay but that will really that will come back okay so seven days before the launch Apollo 13 hits its first bump in the road. A member of the backup crew,

so remember I said there were two crews, they trained together, so they're in each other's pockets quite a lot. And a member of the backup crew got measles, putting the rest of the crew at risk. Because obviously you cannot be ill in space because it's such a confined area. Obviously, you can't get to a doctor, blah, blah.

Unfortunately for Ken, who was on the main crew, remember it was Jim, Ken and Fred. Ken is the only one who didn't have immunity to measles. So the other two had had it before and had built up immunity and Ken didn't. So then he was kicked off the team. No. Yeah, he had to stay home and he was replaced by Jack Swaggett, who was played by Kevin Bacon. He's a minor role, but he does play a big role later on.

Okay. He's still important. But also sad times because this is your purpose for being and you're going to walk on the moon. Actually, his role was never to walk on the moon. he was a he was the pilot anyway the objective of the mission was to collect rocks from an area of the moon that had been hit by an asteroid to help them determine the moon's history so because it had been hit by this asteroid it dug up rocks that were otherwise um impossible to get to and so if you analyze those rocks you can determine more about how the moon was formed and then

that might help you understand more about the earth so it was more of a scientific journey than the others had been because before it just been like oh let's see if we can walk on the moon oh we can and then you know it's progressing now yeah exactly so after neil and bursad had a walkabout um the public quickly lost interest in the subsequent apollo missions um there's actually there's a really good simpson's episode uh where they do like a rip-off of the apollo 13 mission and uh it comes on like it comes on the tv and barton homer like rushing to get the remote to try and change the channel because they're like no not another ball boring space mission and then NASA decides that because public interest is so low they have to get like

an every man to go up in space and then Homer ends up going in space and obviously hilarity ensues didn't they do that anyway they that was that whole terrible shuttle that blew up and they put a teacher on it the challenger yeah wasn't that to reintroduce interest in space yeah so simpson's always on the pulse yeah um also the Vietnam war is still going on each mission, each mission that NASA does is costing the taxpayer like billions of dollars. So they're sort of like, we've got bigger problems going on right now. Do we really need to be putting somebody on the moon? Again, yeah, we did it.

Yeah. So really no one gives a shit. So 11th of April, 1970, it's launch day. But the day before the Beatles had announced they were splitting up. No. So. That's bad timing. The world is gutted and even less impressed by the Apollo mission.

They like truly don't care. They're all morning. They're like we are in the morning. Yeah, exactly. In the film, Tom Hanks' daughter doesn't even want to go to the launch because she's so distraught about the Beatles breaking up. It's very funny. So the launch, I don't know if you've ever watched a launch of a rocket,

but it's incredible. Like it's really, I can only imagine being there in person. We tried to. Oh, really? Yeah, we actually have family footage. I was like two. This is the only time my family. have gone any further than Europe or Cornwall.

But when I was really young and my parents could afford it, we went to Florida and we went to the beach to watch a launch. And then it like got cancelled. And my dad has like footage of my brother, my mum, my sister on the beach being like, yeah, it didn't happen. Didn't see it. And then my mum's just reading a book. She doesn't go to shit.

My dad's like, how about you? Julian? She's like, what? Go away. I'm reading. Just want to clear up. Abby's mom is also called Julia. I wasn't on that one today. I'm not married to Abby's dad. I'm not Abby's mom. You could have been there. You're the same age as my brother. Yeah. Yes, I am. I thought you were going to say your mom, but I am the same age as your brother. Yeah, that's factually kind. That is true. It's the only way I remember. And we're all in the same generation. We're not though, we're so not. We absolutely are.

If we were, I'd get on with him better. Okay. So when a rocket takes off, it is literally like a bomb going off because it's explosives essentially to get the propulsion to launch it into the air. So it is very impressive. I was very impressed. I've watched a few of them in preparation for this. Okay.

I think they're very cool. I just couldn't watch it. I'd be too anxious if it's going to go wrong. Yeah. I can't even watch dancing on ice. I'm too scared they're going to fall over. I cannot do ice skating at all. I went to school with a girl who had the tops of her fingers, yeah,

from an ice skating incident. No, all of them. All four, yeah. Not her thumb. She still had a thumb. But like all the tops. The tops of all her fingers. So she had like half nails on all of her.

Yeah. Yeah, ice skating freaks me out. They had one on dancing on ice where like nearly had someone's eye out. Really? She like did a thing The ice skate hit him in the face The celebrity hit the pro in the face And it was like right by his eye

So like a mirror See less celebrity Like oh I'd be livid I'd be absolutely fuming Yeah Just like Soap Star took my eye out

Yeah That is a format though That is a format one day Copyright So start at my eye out Celebrity's maiming people with actual skill okay

so it's launched we're good we're good to go so obviously it launches up in the air and then it starts to sort of shed unnecessary parts from the shuttle where do they land I don't know

I guess in the sea because they do it by the sea yeah must be They don't want to sharks hate us so much. Well, yeah, we're pricks. Okay, so everything's going fine until about five minutes into the mission, the astronauts feel unexpected vibrations, which... Lovely.

You don't want to feel. Oh, sorry. In this circumstance, unexpected vibrations. I don't mind a vibrating chair. Not a plus. The central inboard engine has shut down two minutes early, which does not sound like a big deal, but everything has to be so precise. is two minutes is actually...

That's a lot. That's very early. Yeah. So this rattles the astronauts, but the control centre, or Houston, you might know them as, reassures them that although this wasn't planned, it's all fine,

they've got four other engines to get them into orbit. So they should be fine. And Jim, or Tom, is like, well, it's good to get the hiccup for the mission out the way early. Nice, nice, optimistic. Really nice. So not true.

the first through that is such a thought though you never think more than one thing's going to go wrong yeah of course not yeah of course not and something does go wrong inevitably again yeah so the first two days unless you're roy sullivan yeah exactly then you've got six more times the manny survived lightning seven times if you haven't listened to a pretty go back and listen so the first days run the first two days run smoothly and on the 13th of April uh 55 hours and 45 46 minutes into the mission the boys are just finishing up a public broadcast that they're filming so they're in space they're in space takeoff was fine

Houston didn't lie they were fine yeah Houston didn't lie they've been in space for 55 hours and 46 minutes everything's going fine it's going so well that they are filming themselves which is being beamed back to earth and it's them just sort of floating around the ship they're having a little laugh they're showing people what they do and what they don't know though

is that nobody is watching it because none of the TV channels would pick it up So NASA have had to do... I know how they feel NASA have had to do like a... I've done those TikTok likes Yeah, there you go

No one's turning up for it No, he cares anymore NASA have organised like a private viewing for the friends and family so they get to see it and the astronauts think that the world is seeing it That is so sad really sad um yeah people were like preempting this and calling into the stations and being like

if you take my favorite show off to put that space shit on i'll be livid and so none of the stations felt confident enough to to show it not even just on the news no you think that's where you could show it yeah i mean maybe they did a clip on maybe they did a clip on the news i don't know but yeah it didn't come on yeah it really wasn't getting anything But after the broadcast, at 55 hours and 34 minutes into the mission, Houston instructs Jack to stir up their cryo tanks. And this means turning on the fans inside the two liquid oxygen tanks. So the whole spaceship is running, spaceship, spacecraft is running on these two oxygen tanks.

And this is completely routine. It just stops the sediment settling at the bottom of the tanks and just keeps everything. sort of fresh um the space spacecraft runs on the liquid oxygen and carried sorry that's carried in two tanks and fuel cells working together to generate power um so as the switch is flipped a damaged coil in tank two sparks and i don't know if you know i'll be but fire loves oxygen it's like its favorite thing and so um the tank immediately burst into flames pressure builds and there's a huge explosion and a 13 foot panel

of the spacecraft is blown off into space so the boys don't know what's happened they just heard they've heard a big bang they can't see outside why is there a coil in the oxygen tank it's part of the mechanism to get the and it's just falling loose or something

it's a faulty part that has sparked in I get maybe in the rotation of the blade and then yeah it's caused a big fire and this is when we hear the famous words Houston we've had a problem no way that's I'm so dark this is embarrassing for me I don't

know any of it's right you're learning that's fine there's no shame in learning I don't I know this that I should know this yeah I thought Houston we have a problem it was just a fun thing we said I know it's just like that's the next podcast Julia teaches Abby famous the origins of famous I thought it's just like any time there was a problem in space, that's just what they always said. It's okay, we don't need to go over. Okay, well, this is the first time it was used. Potentially it has been used.

Right. Sosequently, but this is the first time. I'm embarrassed. I'll take myself off. Okay, have a little word of these. I'll have a walk, I'll self-reflect. So, fuel cells, one and three. So there are three fuel cells and two oxygen tanks.

They need all of this to power. What's a fuel cell? You don't need to know. Okay. And it's literal rocket science, so I don't understand it. Okay. But all you need to know, it's basically like a big battery that the oxygen, the liquid oxygen mixes with hydrogen and then a chemical reaction happens and the fuel cell turns that into electricity and it powers the whole thing. Okay.

So the oxygen isn't what they're breathing. It is also an oxygen supply. It's everything. Okay, it's everything. So. Good. Fine. so fuel cells one and three are now presenting as gone so after the bang obviously everybody

emission control goes nuts and it's like fuck what's happened we don't know what's happened so they're all checking they're all in control of their own separate bits and almost everybody is flashing up with there's a problem so but they're all like how can this be happening there can't be this many problems like it must be just a um a problem with their senses they think they're just like they're read they're misreading these problems um so they can't understand what's happened the fuel cells are the prime source of electrical power in the command service module without two cells they only have a few minutes of power left yeah it's bad it's really bad so the astronauts don't know what the source of the bang was they're assuming they've collided with a meteor which is bad news in space

you do not want to collide with the meteor because that means that your the spacecraft is damaged and then if there's a hole then it's going to suck you out it's really bad but that's not what's happened worse than what's actually happened well we'll see it's a different kind of bad

okay um so uh so jack is desperately trying to close the hatch between the command module and the lunar module um but after five attempts he can't get it shut so he leaves it and goes back to the oxygen tank problem and they can see the dials for the oxygen tank like going down before their eyes one of them is completely dead

and the other one is just going down. Why was he trying to close the thing? Because, okay, so the spaceship is made up of three parts. It's made of the command service module, which is in two sections. It's like a big, bulky, like cylindrical shape with a big sort of rocket engine on the back. And then in the middle is like the, it's called the rendezvous, which is like the, um, sexy.

That's where the astronauts live. And it's like, it's like, it's like, It's where they live, where they love. It's where they sleep, yeah. So it's like a triangular sort of shape. And that's the thing that when they land in the sea, when they come back into Earth, that's all that's left. Okay, that's the main.

They get rid of everything else. And that's so in that is oxygen, battery. Yeah, the whole thing is actually really wasteful. And then, so that's a really integral part of it. and then on the other side is connected is the lunar module which is the separate little spacecraft that comes down into the moon like lands on the moon and that's designed for two astronauts

to go down for two days and do two days worth of experiments whilst the third guy Jack is supposed to stay in the command module and fly it around the moon for two days until they're finished and then they fly up reconnected sucks to be him yeah and then which doors he's trying to close

so he's trying to close the door between the command module so the little triangular bit yeah the rendezvous and the lunar module why is he trying to close it because that he thinks that if the back has been punk because they've heard the bang come from the back where the big cylindrical bit is yeah so they know the problem is that side so they're trying to cut off that part so that if there is a hole they don't get sucked out through it. So if they close off that bit, then they'll be safe in the other bit. So they're trying to hide in the lunar?

Yes, exactly right. So Jim, well, actually they're in the command bit because that's got all of the dials and stuff that says what the oxygen tank is saying. So they're actually in the little rendezvous bit. So they're trying to close the rendezvous off and the cylinder. Yes, yeah.

But they don't manage it. They don't manage it. Okay. So Jim looks out of the window and he can see that gas is venting or leaking out into space. So of the two oxygen tanks, one is completely empty

and the second is spurting out oxygen into space. The lads can see that the pressure dial is going down before their eyes. They know they're in trouble. Like, they know they've got minutes left. The command service module can operate with one, so the rendezvous can operate with one fuel cell, but it still needs that oxygen supply

to generate the power. It's only a matter of time before the command service module is dead. And this is the only source of electrical power that they have to get them back to Earth. So they are 200,000 miles from Earth and they're flying towards the moon in a dying spacecraft. Great. That's where we're at. Ideal.

What we're currently working with is a command service module that's the main spacecraft and attached to it is the lunar module or the lem is what they call it. Jim said in an interview that the lunar module is so fragile you can punch a hole through it. That seems like a terrible idea. insane that like something can get you to the moon safely but it's because and it looks like it looks like it's just covered in foil so you it does look like you could punch through it it blows my mind honestly humans are amazing fred let's not move out the catchphrase of the podcast what the humans are amazing a lot of them are oh yeah true um some of some humans are amazing human capability is amazing well the world a better place yeah so fred

is supposed to fly the lem with Jim as a passenger down to the moon so the lunar module or the lem had to essentially be a spacecraft in its own right so it was equipped with oxygen water food and etc for two people for two days that was the plan

two people for two days within three hours of the tank rupture all oxygen stores in the command service module will be lost as well as all water electricity and propulsion and the command module will be unable to sustain life but because they have this

because they have the system of command rendezvous lunar survival is possible the only way to survive was to transfer over to the lunar module acting as a lifeboat oh god but that can't go back to earth well it does what yeah the thing you can punch through yeah shut up yes I'm telling you

it's insane so an hour after the oxygen tank tank rupture, the dying command module has started to drain the batteries for re-entry. So the rendezvous bit, the triangular bit, that's the hub where everything happens, that is powered by batteries that you save for re-entry because you've shared everything else by the time you're re-entering the Earth's atmosphere and it runs on batteries. But because the other bit has, is draining of power, that's. starting to leach some of the battery power, which is not good because they need to save that if they're going to get home. So there are three reentry batteries and without the fuel cells,

they have no way of recharging them. They cannot afford to waste any of this power and mission control instructs them to start powering down all non-essential systems. So all that's left is the guidance computer which shows them where to go. And they have to work quickly. to fire up the lunar module. So the lunar module has been cold because they haven't been using it. They now need to get it into action. And then transfer all of the guidance instructions

over from the place it should be over to the lunar module. This takes about three to five hours but they have 90 minutes. So the lem isn't currently aligned with their route. Yeah, that's, well, I don't need to do that. There's lots of maths happens. Sure.

Yeah, lots of maths, which is really impressive. I've seen hidden figures. Sure, yes, exactly. And so through a lot of impressive stuff, they managed to get it en route. So they've bought some time. The country is now interested again. Sorry, when you say getting on route back to Earth.

No, they're still on route to the moon. Yeah. Jesus. What's most impressive is how calm and collected everybody managed to remain throughout this. The people at Mission Control are focused on how to get the lads back and solving each problem as they are. rose um i don't think i would have been quite so calm i think i definitely would have said the

f word a lot oh yeah i'm so shocked that nobody is swearing no one swore no one swore i didn't hear i mean i swear so much maybe they did and they just they didn't save those clips for i swear constantly yeah i swore at a tupperware this morning what did it do to you didn't close oh i was like for fuck say what a prick that's fucking broken then isn't it fucking prick honestly I'm awful But single Let me know Slide into those DMs

So the flight path for the mission Was to go around the earth And then cross the moon And come back sort of like An infinity shape So it sets off, it goes around the moon And then it goes across Behind the moon

And then back Big figure of eight So they want to do like a big three point turn No U-turn So the problem with that... Turn in the road. I think you were right with the previous...

Really? Was it? Or three-point turn, would be... The problem is, if you stop... If they got to the moon stopped, they'd have to almost relaunch. Yeah, you want to keep moving. And they can't do that

because they've got no propulsion now. So it's actually so clever. They go around the moon and use the moon's gravity to slingshot them back to the world. Wow, that's so clever. Isn't it clever? These guys, they were...

really know their shit yeah um as you can tell lots of problems are happening one after the other and all of these problems had been tested for by NASA like NASA has a very as you would want to stringent uh testing program of everything but never before have so many problems happened one after the other so they've never experienced this as like a simulated issue right all these things have happened one after the other at the same time yeah so they're now in the which has a 45-hour lifespan for two astronauts, and it now has to house three astronauts for over 90 hours, and it's the size of one and a half phone booths.

It's tight. It's tight in there. So oxygen is the most important, though. Yes. Because they made it sound on part with everything else. How ever. Okay. So when you've got lots of computers in a small space,

and obviously these are old-school computers as well, they obviously it creates a lot of heat and you can't get rid of heat in a vacuum so in space you cannot there's no way to get rid of the heat so you have to have a water cooling system and so water is really really really really really important

and they don't have much of it so because you can't just like open a window just to cool everything down so yeah the water cooling system is very important so mission control is predicting the crew will run out of water five hours before re-entry. That's an annoyingly, like, you were nearly there at that time as well. Yeah.

They also, there was like this system of how they got rid of their urine, your favorite topic. It is. So basically, they had a little tube. Let me just refill. And they would wee into the tube that goes into a little bag. They put the bag in like a pressurized bit. and then launch it out into space. I thought they were going to make it into water.

That would have been cool. Well, it does. Oh, no, yeah. That would have been useful, wouldn't it? No, they didn't do that. They just bin it in space. And it comes out in like little crystal. Like, it looks really cool.

Ooh. Yeah. So, but every time they do that, it uses a jet. And obviously, that uses energy. And they can't afford to use any energy now. Just keep the urine in the... So now, yeah. Now they've just got loads of bags of piss hanging around,

floating about in the space. I mean, fair, though. Yeah, but... I feel like in this situation, that's not the worst thing. No, but because they are severely dehydrated, Fred starts to get a kidney infection. So he gets a fever. He really quickly gets very, very ill.

Why don't they drink the urine? I don't know. We all know that step one. They were desperate. Come on the basics. But not that desperate. They covered how to survive in a death. it and it wasn't like day one drink your own urine yeah true oh okay this is interesting so

the timing of the oxygen tank rupture is one of the luckiest parts of the story so had it ruptured any earlier then they they would have run out of water and power they would have been absolutely fucked yeah um had it happened after they'd gone down to a down to the moon um then the two on the moon would have been stranded because the one left in the space command would have lost all power and then there'd be no communication between the two of them and so they wouldn't have been able to you can't relaunch the lunar module from the moon so they would have been stuck on the moon he would have been stuck jack would have been stuck in the how does he go get them anyway I don't know because then you're like I think he goes down anyway they're like no no jack you need to stay up there

well because he can't get them because it takes more power and energy to get three of them down And you need somebody always in the... It makes more sense for him to orbit the moon whilst they're doing that. Because you need somebody outside of it. What is your question? Why can't they all go through, go down? Well, as in, if he has to go down to the moon

to pick them up anyway, why isn't he just going down to the moon? I don't know, it must make more sense for him to stay up. I think they just didn't like Jack. And they're like, no, you need to keep moving. You need to keep moving. We'll see you in two days. Well, actually, Jacks are saves the day.

Yeah. Jack's a really good guy, Abby. Okay, fine. So this is really the best case scenario for a catastrophic issue. Go out. It's not what you want. If your, like if your spacecraft is going to have a huge issue, this is the one you want. So guidance, communications and water cooling are the only systems that they can afford to give power to.

So the lunar module is running on less power than it takes to run a Hoover. and the whole thing the whole like the lunar module was the most sophisticated thing that had ever been like created at that time and it still runs it has less intelligence than your phone or my phone or anyone's phone

isn't that incredible and it got to space that's crazy yeah so this mission was the first mission that used wet pack food which helped them because their water intake was so low but they could suck the liquid from the food packs

so that was useful but it's really important that they get some sleep because obviously you need to be sharp I feel like that's out of the window yeah they're obviously panicking and thinking they're going to die so sleep and thirsty I can never go to them without a glass of water

yeah and Fred now has a kidney infection so he's not sleeping no so also because they're not running any of the unnecessary systems the temperature is dropping to almost freezing um ice was forming on the inside of the windows uh fortunately jack had an extra set of pants that he popped on oh that'll do it that yeah warm some vital area no no no like pants no just underwear underwear yeah uh the food started to freeze

um there's a bit where tom hanks gets um a hot dog out of the pack and he just like bangs it against the side of the spacecraft because it is so frozen solid um what so the problem is there's one the way that they're traveling oh also i skipped a bit but they are now they're slingshoting they're on their way back to earth they've done the slingshot they're back to earth they're heading back to earth but one side of the craft is constantly facing the sun and getting very hot and the other side is not it's getting very very cold and that's gonna really cause havoc with the computing systems and everything so what they have to do is they have to implement the passive thermal control which is essentially like rotating them like a rotissory

chicken to just to keep to distribute that and so with that happening the sun is coming through the windows and is heating the crew up from the inside so that's nice and now they're getting a bit warmer yeah and their food's melted again yeah exactly so they can eat some stuff so but the problem with humans is that we breathe oxygen, but we breathe out carbon dioxide. That's the problem with us. That is a big problem with us. And as the lunar module was only built for two human bodies worth of carbon dioxide, not three, the levels of carbon dioxide are getting dangerously high. And if it gets too high, they'll get carbon dioxide poisoning, fall asleep and not make it. So what they have to do, they have this filtering system to scrub the carbon dioxide out of

this the atmosphere um so they have these filters the problem here is that the filters that go into the lunar module are round and the hole is round and the filters for why would you make them different are square so they're running out of lunar module filters they have to go back to the command module and get those filters but they are literally trying to fit a square peg into a round hole wait so they're still attached to the other bit they're still attached to the other bit interesting yeah well they need it to get back right so they are still going to use that they are still going to use it yeah they're just powered it all down they are going to get back in it that I get it yeah yeah so as soon as the oxygen tank rupture happened a group of life

support engineers at NASA they knew that eventually they'd have to use the lunar module as a lifeboat that's a that's something that they had tested um and they knew that they knew that they'd run out of canisters for the air filtration system. So they, as soon as it happened, they jumped into action and they took the inventory of everything that's on the spacecraft, dumped it onto a table, and together they figured out how to create out of the items. Like a thing that you do at school where it's like, what can you make out of all this junk? It was like that.

And they made a life-saving air filtration system, which sort of looks like a little birdhouse. or like an American letterbox, that sort of shape. Yeah. So what they did was they put the square filter into a plastic bag and they got a piece of card which they had to take from like the one of the manuals that they had in the spacecraft. And they bend the card so that the plastic bag

doesn't get sucked into the filter. They get a tube that I think was from like one of the suits or something. Could have been one of the tubes that they wee in. And they attach that. to the plastic bag and then they attach the other end of the tube

to the round to like a spent filter that's already in the round hole. So they do all that and obviously they've got no way of sending pictures

back to the astronauts so they have to explain all of this verbally and like they have to do like a huge step by step it's like doing an IKEA flat pack with none of the

the non of the diagrams and I am a visual learner. Me too. Like I would not be able to do it. But they do. They go step by step and they do it. They plug it in and immediately the CO2 starts going down. Wow. Yeah. And it works. Just like on the spot problem solving. Incredible. That's their job doing it. Yeah. That's why they're, they're earning their money. They're who they are. Oh and this is what should I think go in the survival toolkit. Oh, okay. So NASA says it has a secret weapon. They use it all the time. And for everything in everything you know it I know it is duct tape yeah so and they said without

duct tape no no they wouldn't have made it to the moon they would like no missions would have happened they rely on duct tape for everything so obviously if you're in zero gravity and your pencil goes like in floating off you just duct tape it down oh I see yeah so how did they use it here they used it to connect everything so all So instead of cellar tape, so they connected the tube to the plastic bag with loads of duct tape to keep it airtight. Everything needed to be airtight because they needed to trap that CO2 to scrub it. So they duct taped around the filter, around the other end of the tube that was going into the spent filter. Like they used it a lot.

They're on their way back. We're in re-entry territory now, Abby. You can start to sort of relax. And they have enough water? They have enough water. Well, they've really restricted themselves. so it's yeah it's all been sort of measured out the spacecraft has started to slightly drift off course and this is a real problem for re-entry so in order to

re-enter safely they have to hit the earth at a really specific angle there's like two degrees in it so it's between 5.5 degrees and 7.5 degrees and if they go if they go wide of that angle then they will just bounce off the Earth's atmosphere back into space and they're done. If they go too steep, then they will come in at two steepen angle through the Earth's atmosphere and burn up on re-entry.

Also, you don't want that. Yeah, so they're getting ready to re-enter and it's finally time to detach for the service module, so the rendezvous bit, the bit they've been living in, they have to get back into that, out of the lunar module, back into that, fire everything up.

But because it's been switched off and cold, it's freezing cold, there's a chance that it won't reignite. The parachutes that are inside might be frozen shut. So if they don't come out, then they'll die on impact, obviously. So they have to fire up the rendezvous capsule now for reentry, which is a lengthy process because it's been completely turned off to save energy. Powering out from scratch is something they hadn't expected to ever have to do

whilst in space. This is something that you just would have left on. the whole time. So there's every chance it wouldn't fire back up. To add more jeopardy to the situation, the capsule has been freezing cold and the condensation from their breaths

onto the equipment means that they could easily short-circuit the electrical system, which you do not want. You can't be doing that. In the film, Kevin Bacon has a really great moment where he's been given the go-ahead

to flick the switch to reignite it and he's like, and the condensation is like, we're like fine with this. And they're like, yep, yep, power it up i think we'll just take it one at a time um and he says it's like trying to drive a toaster through a car wash which i think sums it up pretty well we're at 141 hours and 30 minutes into the mission and they finally eject wait how many hours for 141 hours

oh that's so long to be stressed yeah this is a week this is a week long oh my god so they finally eject their lifeboat the lunar module um and they're are one hour away from re-entry. So now they just have to pray that the angle of re-entry is correct and that the heat shield holds up so they don't burn, burn up. As they plunge into the Earth's atmosphere,

they lose contact with Houston. This is planned, this is planned there. It should last three and a half minutes. So everybody sort of holds their breath. Oh God. Mission controlled, don't know what's happening. But that made good television. The three and a night.

Yeah. yeah the clips you can see of them waiting is like so tense you just see like so much smoke because everybody's smoking in the room and they're all like so everyone holds their breath of mission control hoping to see footage of the capsule so obviously they know where the capsule's going to land they've got cameras there so they're like desperately looking to see because they might see it before they hear them um so three minutes hits they say are you there like hello hello yeah uh nothing no response just static three and a half minutes nothing they're still they're still asking and no response imagine if they were just in it like yeah yeah this would be so funny

that would be such a me me yeah that's so horrible no I don't but like problem is I just post an Instagram story exactly so everyone knows I'm fine you're too easy to find but like sometimes if I've been in an argument with my ex like I just wanted to worry just a little just a little bit and he is kicking himself that he's your ex now hi hope you're listening so three and a half minutes nothing they get to four minutes nothing four and a half minutes and they hear okay you're right oh something like But it was like, okay, it was like, okay, Jack. But then Jack's his name. Anyway, so they hear, they hear from,

they hear from Jack. And then they see the capsule appear with three perfect parachutes. So why didn't it take so long? I don't know. No one knows. So, sorry, they ditch, the life craft they've been living in,

they ditch that before they re-entered. Yes, because they could only re-enter in the little triangular. So you just have to say bye to all that oxygen? say bye to all of it yeah um so mission control erupts in cheers of relief like they're all crying like it's very it's very cute to watch yeah um okay so obviously the astronauts are gutted that they never got to make it onto the moon because that was obviously the mission of the moon yeah but also like you're alive yeah they are very happy to be alive um Tom Hanks ends upro yeah Tom Hanks yeah

Tom Hanks ends Apollo 13 in a film in like a classic 90s film way with a voiceover as they're all being so they're coming off the capsule and they're all like people are cheering and they're shaking hands and then he tells you where they've all ended up in a very satisfying and a very helpful way I love that so he explains it was a damaged coil in the tank that sparked when the switch was flipped to stir the tanks and cause the explosion and then he says a minor deep defect that occurred two years before I was even named as flight director, which isn't that crazy that like this was going to happen regardless, two years. Yeah. But how do they miss that? I know. I guess if you don't know that it's faulty until it faults. I don't know. So Jim Lovell never made it back into space but continued to work for NASA. Fred Hayes, the one who got the infection, he was scheduled to go back to the moon on Apollo 18 but the mission was cancelled due to budget cuts and he never flew in space again

but he was okay his kidneys yeah oh he got better yeah he was fine Jack also didn't fly again he ended up getting elected to Congress in Colorado but unfortunately he died before he could take up his position in office and Ken Mattingly the guy who was kicked off he orbited the moon in Apollo 16 and flew the space shuttle which is like a big deal for an astronaut

and he never ever got the measles oh that sucks and actually I missed out but he has a really important job where when they when the explosion happened he was then taken to the simulator and had to run test after test after test to see what the procedure could be

to get them back to Earth so it's because of him really that they managed to secure a procedure that would safely get them back to Earth so he's actually a real hero. And also like, yeah, you'd be like oh for God's sake and then you'd be like oh that was meant to be.

Yeah. But then also I guess they got home safely so maybe you'd be like I could have a good time to do it. Oh no no no. I'd still be pleased to have not been on that ship. Yeah. But he could have been played by Kevin Bacon And that's, I think we all dream of that. Is that your ideal?

Kevin Bacon? Yeah. No, but he's like, he'd be up there. He's great. You've got to watch this film. It's so good. Okay. I'd rather be Tom Hanks.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. I'd take any of them, to be honest. Is it Bill Paxton? Bill Paxton's great. I've looked up on IMDB while you're talking about. Oh, have you? I just wanted pictures.

Enjoying the pictures. I am, yeah. Kevin Bacon's very young. He is. They're all in their prime. This is Tom Hanks's absolute prime. 95. Such a baby boy.

It's a golden age. Oh, Kevin Bacon's topless. Yeah, I get it. See? See? No. He has got a rocking bod in this film. He does have a rocking ball in this film.

I refuse to degrade him to just that. The bit where he felt... He's also a brilliant dancer. Yeah. And a great actor. It's so good. It's such a good film. What a story.

I cannot get over it. And also, I haven't... I definitely haven't done that justice. So much more happens. And they landed in the sea. They landed in the sea. In fact, there is a really, really good podcast. That made it sound like this is not a really good podcast.

Julia! There is a really good podcast specifically about Apollo 13 called Saving Apollo 13, where Sean Brady, who is a forensic engineer, goes through it in way more detail. And obviously, he really knows what he's talking about. Yeah. So, you knew a lot. If you are, it's, I've, it's largely from Sean Brady.

You've answered all my questions. Oh, good. Uh, but yeah, so that's, that's the story of the Apollo 13 mission. Wow. I can't believe, I feel so ignorant. I can't believe you didn't know that 13 was an unlucky number. That's the most surprising thing of this whole episode. I just, I knew six was the devil.

Six, six, six, six, six, yeah. I thought just like odd numbers were unlucky. Because just like even numbers are nice, aren't there? And odd numbers are mean. And un-nors are horrible. So that won't work. Friday the 13th? Friday the 13th.

There you go. It all makes sense now. Were you always like, why is that film called Friday the 13th? What a weird date to have picked out. Right. Do you want some this and this? Oh, wait, no. We've got to do the survival toolkit.

Oh, yeah. What do you want to? Well, I think there's only one thing really to go into the survival toolkit well let's discuss it okay go on you've got duct tape yeah you've got um liquid food mm-hmm yes sucking the liquid out of the pouches yeah you've got which also turns my stomach the idea the fact that they had like yeah the sound is unnecessary I'm so sorry I'm really we'll cut that out I'm really sorry that they were eating like things like hot dogs you know the juice that like hot dogs come in sometimes like oh

All of that, the fact that they were drinking the wet food. Yeah, but in that scenario, would you rather drink hot dog juice or urine? Hot dog juice. Well, there you go, so they've gotten out better than a few people. That's true. And then what did they use in that filter? So they had a piece of card, a plastic bag, the filter and a tube.

Yeah, but it was all done with duct tape. Because it had to be airtight. And did they use anything else in this survival? Well, they have got bags of piss They do have bags of piss I don't feel like the bags of piss Helped in any way I think if anything

They just got in the way They didn't even drink them Yeah Waste So in this instance It's quite satisfying The piss is not the answer That's really

That's my take away Shocking I guess it's duct tape then I guess it's duct tape then Okay, listen to stories. Here we go. Um, if you also have a story about how you survived a terrifying crashdown back from space. Um, please write it in to help at wcspod.com. I will be thrilled. I'll be absolutely over the moon. Yeah, let us know first. Julia knows exactly how to help now. Okay, first one. Hello. Oh. Hello, Mike. Hello, Gavna. Um, loving the pod by. the way, my new saves. Every episode I give my husband the rundown after and as much as I tried to back up Roy's story,

his final straw for believing it was true was when I told him about the 22 bear attacks. To be honest, that was mine as well. Hashtag, I believe Roy. I love it, we started a hashtag. Anyway, my survival story is a few years ago I worked at a summer camp in the middle of the mountains in the middle of the mountains in Pennsylvania.

Red flag. Partway through my summer there, it became evident we had a bear and coyote problem after a bear was heard scratching at the cabins at night because some campers had brought food in. God, are you not allowed food? You should never have a bear problem. Like, you shouldn't be in a position where you can have

like an ant problem, okay, fine, a wasp problem, maybe. You should never ever have a bear problem. Yeah. But I guess if they're just, it's so low key. It does baffle me that people just like even go walking when like bears are an option. Yeah. But I guess if bears are just everywhere, like, you've got no choice. What are you going to do?

Yeah. I mean, I would just not go on a walk. But like some people love it. They do. They do. Also, thank God they do. Those would have no stories for this podcast. Keep doing it guys.

Get out there. You keep making those mistakes. So to combat this situation, they set a humane trap with stale. donuts. Brackets, which pissed me off because I didn't realize there were donuts in the first place. Don't give them to the bears. I know, what a waste. And they also gave us whistles. That's all we were given. That's not enough. No. And we were told to blow on the whistle if a bear or coyote came near us. We weren't told this would deter them, just that hopefully someone on this 100-acre camp would hear us and come help. So, long story short, one night,

I was walking to the cabin with my campers who were about 11 brackets, the cabin was on the other side of the camp to where the majority of the people were and the guy I'm working with tells me to get the kids to walk faster and to sing some loud songs. So we do

and I notice my friend has gone to the back of the group and keeps looking behind him shining his torch. I'm stood in front of the group walking backwards so I can see what's behind us and as he shines his torch I see some eyes glowing. No.

There's a pack of coyotes following us. We're at least a mile from anyone else at this point, so that whistle will do fuck all. If anything, don't dogs love whistles? Yeah. They're like, whoop. We'll just start dribbling. Thankfully, we were able to get the kids inside the cabin,

but my friend and I kept to look out for a while, and the coyotes stayed outside our cabin for an, hour until running back off into the woods. So yeah, maybe don't add whistle to the survival toolkit. Brackets, did I get the name right? Very good. Thanks for the lulls. Abby. Oh, you've written I wrote in. We needed some more. Interesting that you started with L.O. Is it? I like, I just wanted to throw you off. Give myself a different accent. It did. Hello, you can't actually screams of me just put an on a moustache and pretending like the person. Okay.

Next one. Wow. What a story. Okay. This one is from Becky Starkey. Oh. What a name? That's a fun name.

Yeah. I was playing a netball match and my chicken fillet fell out of my bra as I attempted to score a goal. This is another one you've written. Abby literally turned up today and was like, oh, my, my, my, my boot pack. I don't have... She's like, they turned it to a mono boob on the train. That's not acceptable.

They're just two separate pants that'll just slip in to cover my nips. They just stick on. No, they're not stuck. I have so little boobs. I'm... They just, nothing happens. I don't need a bra.

So I just pop them in to cover the nips. All they're doing. They're moving around more than your boobs are. Yeah, genuinely. There's nothing to hold them still. They just move around like tectonic plates. Just, and then they just meet in the middle. Yeah.

So I was on the tube and, and yeah, I'd become a mono boob. Anyway, back to Becky. She was playing netball. Her chicken fillet fell out. And she attempted to score a goal. The umpire asked if someone had lost their liver. Ha!

Is anyone missing? A liver. A liver, perhaps. I had to pick it up and reinsert it as my teammates absolutely died with laughter. I quit two weeks later. That's the end. Invest in a sports repel?

When is a chicken fillet? effort like that's such a secondary school thing isn't it where you wear like your actual like padded normal bra for sports so impractical that is the most important tits go look good sure yeah okay I'm nervous to read this one because I haven't actually read it I've just read the first sentence and I'll be honest I don't know whether my brother will want me to read it but here we go why is your brother involved this is interesting hi Abby Hope you've been doing well since Into the Woods. Oh, God, is this Polly?

Oh my God, is this Polly's revenge? She's gotten into it. It is, it is, it's a letter from Amtram past. It's not Polly. But if you don't know into the woods, it's a death threat. It's a Stephen Sondheim musical. And I did partake in a little bit of youth theatre. Hmm.

So we've heard. And I think every episode so far And I did play a minor role In Into the Woods Hey there are no minor roles Only minor actors And I am both According to Pauli

So This is such a sad start of an email Okay Hi Abby I hope you've been doing well since Into the Woods Sorry if I didn't talk to you much I was probably awkward After your brother dumped me

A few months before I survived. We're both married with kids now. Although my ravished teen heart had to recover from being dumped, that's not my survival story. He did a number on her. He was a good-looking boy for an 18-year-old or however old he was. Actually, maybe he's older. I don't want to call my brother a bit good-looking. Let's move on. It's taken a real incesty turn.

I did used to brag to people. Stop talking now, Abby. that me and my brother had done the day dancing lift. I'm so glad. No, I'm so glad you carried on after dancing lift. Oh, God, yeah. That could have been so bad. I was just like, so, like, you know,

everyone goes through that period where they're like, yeah, I can do the day dancing lift. I've never been through that period. But the only man in my life was my brother, so that's what I had to do. She really wanted to brag that I had the core strength. Oh, you lifted him? No, no, no. To hold that position, because usually what goes wrong in the day dancing lift is, I'll be honest, usually when girls get them boyfriends to do with them, the boyfriend, he's holding up his end of the role. Problem is, is the girls just flop, like fish, just like, p. Whereas I, you know.

But look at you. Brother and sister playing famous film lovers. Not weird at all. Oh, we're definitely going there. We're so not going there. Okay. I was 25 years old and somehow persuaded to take a small group of my students on a trip of a lifetime, sailing from Amsterdam to Denmark. Now, Joltz just started licking my hand. Hi, baby. I ended up sharing a tiny boat cabin with four 16-year-old boys for 10 days.

Gross. How was this allowed? Changing my underwear without ending up on a sex offender's register was practically impossible. I can't believe this is allowed. That's insane. We set sail at two in the morning, being forced to sleep and then wake in four-hour increments continuously for days and nights. Did she say trip of a lifetime? Yeah, what? A trip of my nightmares.

That's insane. Every moment we were awake, we were vomiting. Kids were vomiting on each other. over the side of the bunks. Should I say that again? Did you hear that? They're vomiting on each other. Yeah.

Kids were vomiting on each other over the side of the bunks. There was a sea of vomit on the top of the boat. I've never seen so much vomit or been so sick myself. Whose idea was this? How did this get past the first round

of like parental slips? Like who's signing off on this? Well, she's odd as a trip of a lifetime. we would just clip ourselves onto the edge of the boat and vomit into the sea slash into each other's faces because of the wind for hours. That's my nightmare.

That's my fear of roller coasters is someone vomiting in front and then because of the speed of the roller coaster coming back onto me. Or like one of those spinny ones while it's spinning. That's my fear of roller coasters. That's disgusting.

So what did, I even, okay, take the sick out of this for a minute. If this trip, if this trip went to plan, it's still her with a group of teenage boys on a tiny boat for 10 days. Yeah, is there no one else? That's, she must have worked at an all-boys school, right? Well, whatever it is, like, that's not a fun time for anyone. Who was driving the shit? oh tiny boat cabin so maybe there were other cabins oh yeah doesn't make it any better nope still horrible um so they're vomiting to each other's faces for hours no sailing was learned

at one point i thought a student was dead because he was slumped over and hadn't moved for three hours but i was too cold and soaking wet to check she left him for three hours Yeah, but like, I'm cold. I'm a bit cold, though. Tommy's sloughed over. He hasn't moved for three hours. Should we maybe check his pulse? Can you do I'm cold?

Oh, God. Fuck it out. I think your brother made the right decision. Oh, God. I had lost all dignity on this trip despite knowing that I was head of year and would need to teach these. students for another year.

No one wants to teach a kid that's seen them continuously vomiting all over themselves and everyone else. We finally got to Copenhagen and found out one of the students had lost his passport. I nearly died. That was the worst bit. At what point? I would sooner give birth to my daughter twice over than go through that again. Husband baby and I are loving the podcast.

Kitty. That's nice. Thanks Kitty. I cannot apologise for my brother enough. And for you apparently. You caught him in a real whore phase. You really did.

Wow. I was lovely. She didn't talk to me. Oh, okay. I'm at the bottom of this food chain. Thank you very much. I just live in the mistakes of my brother, apparently. Oh, fair.

Okay. It's back time we changed the narrative. I can't believe that story. It's really not. me for six that's horrifying the amount of sick so much sick a 16 year old boy how do you teach any of them how do you look them in the eye again even like four 16 year old boys in a cabin you've vomited on them and they've vomited on you on their faces and then you got to go in and with a straight face teach him geography yeah no that's not happening i'd leave that school immediately but then that looks suspicious

what happened in that cabin exactly okay um one more from hannah brown oh okay screenshoted my colleagues topless selfie on be real to show a friend not knowing it notifies people when you screenshot i work remotely but might have to see him next week will he bring it up and will i die of embarrassment tbc oh this is actually a great warning to all Be Real shows when you've screenshoted. I found out because my friend Ellie who mentioned in previous

episodes her boyfriend finally did the shave he accepted the will of his hairline. He shaved it all off. She posted a Be Real with him. I immediately screenshotsed it and sent it

to everybody and she then sent me a WhatsApp with the notification saying a screenshot by Abby Clark, like, loll. Oh. Luckily, she found it funny and then sent me a picture of three eggs in an egg cup lined up. And then the reveal was one of the eggs was his head. It was beautiful cinematography. But my God, what a lesson to learn.

And I'm so glad it was with her. Yeah. But the most vulnerable he's ever been, probably. Yeah, but oh my God. it is oh dear he looks it's so bold it's so bold it's got a shine on it wow yeah i need to show you the egg video it is brilliant it's very well made he should go into film um the camera trickies really so yeah anyway warning to all don't don't screenshot be reals because uh the the repercussions be real or just like grow up and don't be on be real

Oh, fuck off, Julia. If you've got a story is that horrifying, send them to help at wcspod.com and we'll all go through the trauma together. We'll see you next week. Hope you survive another week. Goodbye. Bye.

Get attacked by an angry shock. Struck up a mountain in the dark. Pushed up the top of a big landmark. Hit by lightning in your local park. Gord in the downpour of acid rain. Struck by meteorore or a tray. A proton beam passes through your brain Attacked by that angry shark again

Hear how they survive Trappled by a herd of buffalo Chaste with an axe by your new friend Joe Buried alive in a pile of snow It's the worst case scenario