Worst Case Scenario with Abi Clarke and Julia Stenton - Day 18 - Kevin Hines

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

** You may find this episode triggering, please listen with care and attention **Kevin Hines jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco in an attempt to end his life. The moment he decided to do it though, he instantly knew he had made the wrong decision. Kevin now belongs to a very exclusive club of those who have survived jumping from the bridge, and in this episode Abi tells Julia about Kevin's early life, the day of his jump, and how he how uses his experiences for good.Kevin's website to learn more about his story and life now, can be found hereSend in your own worst case scenario to [e-mail] and please follow the podcast on Instagram @wcspod for video extras.Theme tune by the brilliant Crizards who can be found on Instagram @crizards*** If you have been impacted by the Kevin's story and the content in this episode then the following support is available...The Campaign Against Living MiserablyCall 0800 58 58 58www.thecalmzone.netThe SamaritansCall 116 123www.samaritans.orgPapyrusCall 0800 068 4141www.papyrus-uk.orgThe NHSCall 111www.nhs.uk/mental-health Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Get attacked by an angry shark Stuck up a mountain in the dark Pushed up a top of a big landmark Hit by lightning in your local park Caught in a downpour of acid rain Struck by meteor or a train A proton beam passing through your brain Attacked by that angry shark again

Hear how they survive Trappled by a herd of buffalo Chaste with an axe by your new friend Joe Burried alive in a pile of snow It's not the worst case scenario. We've also got no water. Yeah, how it should be. How it should be in the desert?

True. Okay. That's the whole point, Julia. Water's not an option. I didn't know. We were trying to cultivate desert atmosphere. Yeah, that's why we've got cactus. Drink?

Cups. Cups. Fessels. Are we starting? Why you just shrug You like, who fucking knows at this point? Do we ever start? Right, hello.

Hi. Welcome to Worst Case Scenario, the podcast where we tell survival stories. Every week we build a survival toolkit. We do. To help us out should we ever find ourselves in the worst case scenario. We've got new chairs in the studio. I knew you were going to play with the chairs. I knew it.

We got new chairs and they go up and down. Abby is now jumping up in her chair and sliding down. Oh wait, no, we've got her face. This is great audio content, isn't it? Yeah, but visually, isn't it funny? It is funny. She loved. It's funny.

It's good shit. It's like Mr. Beans in the room. Oh, don't people do that. I forgot. It's my regular double dunger. That was a total accident. Yeah, well, thank you. Okay, so we have some lethal drinks.

We're back in the studio. Woohoo! My voice is back. Julia's voice is back. My mental health, not so much, but we're getting, ah, we're on our way. This drink can only help that. Well, I came in very excited to go back to the margaritas

because if you have been listening since episode one, we did set up a format that kind of got lost along the way, but we drink margaritas, aka piss, because as all great survivalists know, step one, drink your own piss. I mean, it didn't get lost, we have consistently been drinking margaritas. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please don't ever think we've not been drinking margaritas at this point. We just have not been talking about it. We just don't talk about it. But I got back in the studio today. I've been looking forward all day to my margarita. Yeah, me too. What do I find out? No margaritas.

Well, we got... Then we have found, we have found some dregs. At the back of the fridge. At the back of the fridge, a bottle from what, July? July was it? Two months ago. A tiny little dreg of margarita mix. And a lot of tequila.

So the drinks we have in front of us are, I'd say, 80% tequila. Yeah. It's making my eyes warm. 20% very old margarita mix. Go on, have a sit. The smell is enough for me. It's pungent. It's shocking.

It's so strong. Really strong. I feel like I'm in like... Also, the mix has changed colour. Reds. Is it res, that bar? Just like having a shot. I don't like how...

I'm going for it. The mix has changed consistency. And colour. Oh, it's not bad actually. Okay. I'm so glad you went first. I was ready to pour this out. Down my throat.

Oh, it's not bad. It's not bad. It's drinkable. It's so drinkable. Thank God for that. Until 10 minutes in and it goes silent. And we've bathed out. Neil's not here.

We're free. He is. Of our ruler. Oh God. The shackles are off. Abby's going crazy. I've forgotten what they're called. What are they called?

I don't know what you... Like Stalin and stuff. Dictator? We're free of our dictator. So out of order. I was going to say diplomat and I was like, that's wrong. That's right. That's right. That's not. No. So, but also, no Neal means no Loudrop.

It's sad. We haven't seen Loudrop for a long time. I know. I really miss that guy. He's really keeping him from us. That's the power he holds, isn't it? He's like, oh, I'm not in the room, but then you don't get the dogs. I mean, yeah. I'm just talking how long can we slack me a love before he comes back on in the call you're going to have to get yourself a mic Neil defend yourself

he's not giving in and Neil has COVID so retro isn't it so he's not coming in or so he says yeah yeah you know a real blast from the heart asked real nostalgic no get better soon Neil we miss you yeah well he's just I mean he is here he's just moved in with a lady so maybe it's just an excuse you think so yeah um you said you have gossip Gossip. Yes, please. Oh, I don't have gossip. Oh. No. No, I said, no, so I, this is post-Edinburgh.

We're back, first one, right, woo-hoo, back in the studio. And so I just was thinking about Edinburgh, and I remembered a guy in one of my shows who I don't think I told you about. So in one of the shows, I was doing some emceeing at the top, just talking to the crowd. There was this one guy on his own, like quite a, quite a tall, like sort of middle-aged-aged-ish kind of guy having a lovely chat with him and then one of the other people in the audience went look at his t-shirt and i i like couldn't read his t-shirt so i was like oh i can you and his t-shirt said if they don't find the body it's not murder and i was like oh this is how i die he came to my show on his own and then afterwards he came up to me and he was like oh it's so nice to

meet you i listened to the podcast and i was like oh i definitely this is definitely how i die this is absolutely but thanks for listening thanks for listening thanks for listening Where? Why? Why is that shirt? Why does that shirt exist? Well, apparently, I did ask. Oh, is it like a catchphrase from another podcast?

No, it's, uh, he'd been to like the Edinburgh Dungeons or something. I think like a, like a version of London Dungeons. That was a story anyway. Yeah. So they're not going to arrest me in this T-shirt. I know. Who makes murder a much? It really spooked the women in front of him, I'll be honest.

That's horrifying. Yeah. And I'm really sorry I can't remember your name. But thank you for listening. say thank you for coming to the show. But also it is a red flag. They do say that like women listen to true crime podcasts to like prepare themselves to like not get killed, whereas men men do prepare not to get caught.

Yeah. But then again, I do think we haven't done true crime in a while. You know we're in the true crime category on podcasts. Good. I do think we're letting them down. Yeah, I know. We really need to. We need to.

I just don't. It just. Sad. Too sad. Too sad. Though actually today's is very sad slash uplifting. My one next week is back to true crime. What a promise. Yeah. The thing is, I'll be honest.

I've really tried to do a true crime one this week. Yeah. Right, do you want to hear my news? Yes, please. So, as you know, my friend Ellie, big fan of the pod. Love Ellie, yep. I met another real life listener yesterday. Oh.

In a toilet. Why are they always dressed weird or in weird places? Why are you not such creepy about? creepy fans relatives and friends also thank you for listening me really much no thank you she was really nice it was like I'm a big fan of vodka

I'm like I'll tell Julia so Ellie message me though she listened to this week's episode oh hang on this is us bitching about my ex okay she said I did wonder how long before this came up on the poker oh I haven't even been trying to hold it

I was going through a breakup at the moment blam she's in her revenge era I've been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift I bet I have never going to connected to Tatea Moore. She is my queen, my idol.

It does take being fucked over to really understand her, doesn't it? Oh, God, yeah. I feel her in my blood. Okay. This is why I so excited to get back to the margaries. Oh, the sweat patches are coming back, Julia. Why is what class visual now? Okay.

This is great stuff. Okay, Ellie Sloan. I can't full name her, can I? Maybe, okay. She said, I listen to your pod episode for this week. So that's last week now. And I was just looking at the crash afterwards, the plane crash. And she said, and I saw that one of the people in the plane crash also survived being swallowed by a whale recently.

Shut up. Yeah. Do you want to know who it was? Bookboy. Book boy. I'm fucking knew it. It was Michael Bookboy. Michael Bookboy.

No way. So here we go. She sent me the article. A real life, Jonah. Michael Packard, the Cape Cod Lobsterman who shocked the world Friday when he was almost swallowed by a humpback whale nearly wound up in Davy Jones Locker in 2001

when a plane he was on reportedly crashed in Costa Rica. Wow. So then it goes on about him in the plane crash as we already know if you don't listen to the last episode. The whale, he said, spit him back out 30 or 14. Two seconds later. So he was in the mouth of the whale? Yeah, okay, here we go, here we go.

Packard's stunning story of his encounter with the mighty levilla, just say whale, generated international headlines. All of a sudden, I felt like I got hit by a freight train and everything went black, he told reporters Friday. And it went black and I was like, oh my God, what the heck? Where am I? Did I just get bitten by a great white? And then I realized, after, I said it's not a shark.

The only thing it could be is I just got eaten by a whale. and then he got spit back out 30 or 40 seconds later so this man Michael what are the chances you survive a plane crash in the jungle and then swallowed by a whale this was 2021

blimey what's going to happen in the next what's going to happen in the next 20 years bets he's like the lightning guy he's the new rod that is good to know though that a wave will spit rather than swallow you're great that is comforting don't we all no just fussy it is okay uh okay anyway so that's what michael's up to these days isn't this like

like why are they now yeah stay inside michael yeah god and there was us focusing on brandy and brandon yeah julius guess before we start this episode i went oh i have an update on your story and she went, did you find out they're actually siblings? That was her, I guess. Well, it's good to be back. Good to be back. If you like the podcast, do we do that now? Oh, yeah, we can do that now, I guess.

Give us a follow. Are you having fun? I'm loving it. Do you like me, then follow the podcast. Just Abby. Look, I'm the only one who needs it. I'm here anyway. Julia doesn't care.

She has the power of not caring. Oh, yeah. I'm nothing without your love. That was a message to my ex. No. Yeah, he wishes. Okay, so anyway, sorry, yeah, rate review, follow us online at WCS Pod. And then later we'll do some listener stories and we'll do that when we get to it.

Yeah, tell us the story, Abby. So this week's story is a little bit different. It does explore themes of suicide if you are affected or impacted by, anything in this week's episode, there are links for support and advice in the episode notes. This is the story of Kevin Hines, one of the people to have survived jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Oh my God, there's an incredible documentary about this. Yes. Let's talk about the Golden Gate Bridge, first of all. Yes. It was constructed in 1937 and is 1.7 miles long. crazily okay so 11 workers died in its construction um which was actually a new safety record

as in because they were expecting 35 to die imagine just being like yeah we'll kill 35 people doing that putting that in the risk assessment yeah probably 35 on this one yeah beats the whole helicopter over a volcano isn't it insane um so it actually went really well uh but the net that suspended under the floor saved the lives of 19 men while they were making it. It stands 220 feet above the water of the San Francisco Bay and it is the top suicide site in the world. The deck of the bridge is about 245 feet above the water. If you were to fall from it, it takes about four seconds.

Oh, God. You travel at about 75 miles per hour. And most jumpers die due to impact. Because when you're going that fast, water becomes like concrete. Right. But 5% of jumpers do survive the initial impact and then generally drown or die of hypothermia. Right. Also, most suicidal jumps happen from the side of the bridge that's facing the bay.

But since the bridge opened in 1937, it is estimated that 2,000 people have died of suicide and many more have jumped, never having been confirmed or recorded because of no witnesses or body, you get washed out to sea. Oh, God. The fall is 98% fatal. used to be 99, around only 40 people have ever survived before, 26 remain alive today, and only five, these are kind of general numbers, because unfortunately it keeps happening. About only five are able to walk, stand and run. They've been called the most exclusive Survivors Club in the world,

and there's a book of the same name by Ben Sherwood. And one member of that survivors group is Kevin Hines. On the 25th September 2000, Kevin was 19 years old. I also read that most people who jump from bridges, especially the Golden Gate Bridge, are like students. It's very, it's like majorityly, majority ofly young people. And then the second, so like students was the most common occupation. And then the second was teachers.

So he was 19 years old when he got the bus to the Golden Gate Bridge and he jumped over the four foot railing, that should be higher. Yeah. To the icy waters below. The moment his hands left the railing, he felt. instant regret. Oh my God. Yeah. So Kevin had a very difficult start to life. He was born into poverty to biological parents who were addicted to drugs and alcohol and who were manic depressive slash bipolar. He and his older brother were both abandoned and neglected on a regular basis when their

parents went to school drugs until one day, as he says, I think this was either documentary or a podcast I listened to. He said, one seedy motel clerk made his most unseedy decision and called the police after hearing one too many cries child protection services placed Kevin and his brother into foster care and they bounced around

from home to home the idea was they'd both be adopted together but both got bronchitis and sadly his brother died which gave him detachment and abandonment issues when they first took him in

he was violently ill all day every day he'd a distended a belly filled with liquid from being malnourished for so long because his biological parents had only fed him what they could steal. So, Kool-Aid, Coca-Cola and sour milk was his first diet. Oh, my God.

So his gut to brain health, which I've learned a lot about with the story as well, was very poor, and those food habits kind of followed him in his life. He says he was mentally sick from the very beginning. But when he was nine months old, his luck changed. When he was adopted by Pat and Debbie Heinz. Pat was a banker and Debbie a nurse. They couldn't have kids, so they chose to adopt three kids from three separate families. Kevin is mixed race, his brother is black and his sister white, and he said that he would, like, he remembered that they'd get, like, turned away from some restaurants.

But they'd always just pick up, go somewhere else. And despite a traumatic start, Kevin described his childhood and early adolescence as amazing. He grew into a boy who loved acting. Yeah. And playing sports. A very relatable character. He believed everything was going to be okay now because he'd been afforded opportunity

and because Debbie and Pat worked so hard to give them what they wanted, needed. Pat himself had come from parents who'd suffered from substance use disorder and alcoholism and they'd both died of liver failure at 49 and 54 and with just 17 bucks in his pocket, paying his own way, Pat had managed to become one of the most successful

San Francisco bankers of the time. Wow. Yeah. Go Pat. So, you know, a good male role model, things were looking good. At the age of 10, he had an epileptic attack, meaning doctors prescribed him a medication called tegratol. The medication seemed to keep his epilepsy under control so well, in fact, that after six years with no episodes, doctors took him off it.

Wow. But this is when Heinz's mental health began to spiral. That seems to be like quite a common thing, doesn't it, for like that age? like later adolescence. Yeah, being the teenage just sucks, yeah. But this actually, so what no one knew was that Tegretol, although it was working for his epilepsy, it was also working in the background to suppress

what were the dramatic mood swings of bipolar disorder. So when they took him off that medication, he was suddenly irritable all of the time. He was difficult to control. He was, he had depressed. cycles and they came in regular intervals to make matters worse he actually lost his school drama teacher to suicide no yeah that was it's like in the documentary they sit in like the school auditorium and he talks to the teacher about how like them having to decide how to like

break it to the students that this yeah oh my god um so on the 25th of september uh it was a monday kevin believed he was worthless he had no valid you he thought all of his family hated him that no one needed him around despite his dad asking to spend the day together sensing something was wrong voices told him to kill himself he acted out on the whole bus journey there um he was kind of shouting uh the voices he was crying but no one said anything i think i think about this he was like on the bus he was shouting yeah because you're like i think this is a big thing in this story we'll get to it but like he kind of, I think the big message is like intervene, like, ask someone if they're okay.

We're so used to just like ignoring, but this is thing is, I was like, if I was like on the tube and someone was behaving really, like, extreme, in an extreme way. Yeah. I think I'd feel scared and I don't think I'd, unless someone else was also intervening, I think of like a group. Yeah. I would be happy to join the group. Yeah. But I think I would, I don't, like I am like, would, would I go on my own? well but then also you're in a position if it's depending on who the person is you're in a different position to other people on the tube like yeah like it's scarier for a woman to approach man exactly but it was also because in Edinburgh I was walking down the street and this older gentleman why do we call older people gentlemen I'd never be a young gentleman an old man

um he fell just like randomly just like tripped on the pavement but like really went down and I was like immediately there like do I call an ambience what we're doing blah blah yeah and you're like that is it's so much easier to approach someone for just like a physical definitely yeah well because it's not unpredictable it's the unpredictability of somebody having and you don't know the cause I saw him fall down exactly I know what's going on yeah yeah um but yeah it's a big thing in this story and I guess that it like yeah you'd think how much do you consider the other person's safety it wasn't a school bus it was just the bus it was just the bus it was Public bus.

Oh, okay. But yeah, so he went on the bus, no one said anything. He paced the walkway for 40 minutes, passing hundreds of people. And he said that, like, a lot of people who go to commit suicide or commit suicide kind of do say, like, if this one thing happens, I won't do it. Oh, really?

Like, they kind of, like, put it up. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. And his, he was like, despite the voice telling him to kill himself, he promised that if just one person intervened, if one person asked, if he was a, okay he would confess everything and beg them to save his life like he wouldn't do it um he says that he didn't want to die he just believed that he had to um and he wanted someone to stop him uh but

even police officers passed without a word though police officers are now trained for suicide prevention and save between 50 and 120 lives a year wow yeah um so he's walking this walkway so what are they patrol what are the police patrolling the the the bridge for well I'm not maybe they weren't patrolling at this point like they do now they just walk they were just walk they do now have officers patrol the bridge yeah to stop people but maybe they didn't yeah they were just they just happened to be walking perth um so he's he's he's kind of pacing this bridge for like 40 minutes crying oh um and then a woman approaches him and he's like this is it she cares yeah right she says excuse me he's like it's okay this woman cares and then she says

will you take my picture? Oh my God. Yeah. She holds out her phone. He takes this woman's photo about like five times. She does different poses. Fucking hell.

And then she walks away. Is this going to make you think twice when you ask somebody to take your picture? I'll be honest. I'd literally never ask a stranger. Oh my God. Would you out? No.

Definitely not. Because at one, I'd be paranoid they'd take my phone. That's the main thing. I'm very paranoid to want to take my phone. I also, I just have too much personal shame. I was like, personal shame. How mortifying?

Do different poses? I actually saw so many in Edinburgh, I saw so many influences in the wild in Edinburgh on the like cobbled streets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many women with absolutely zero shame with like Instagram boyfriends. Like I would sit, there was a cafe I'd go to every morning

it was the best people watching place ever. I'd sit on a bench and I'd just watch multiple women have multiple photo shoots. And I couldn't. To be honest, I admire the lack of shame. Oh, me too. Because they are getting a banging fucking photo out there. There's a reason their Instagram looks better than mine.

Yeah, exactly. I can't do it. Exactly. Even when I like talk on stories, like I have to have it like down under my chin so that like no one can really tell. It blows my mind that you do that in public. Like it took a real long time. You have to like desensitize yourself to it.

The comedians who do these walk and talk videos. Just me. Honestly, it's like. Yeah, but it's always with the chin. People can see you. What's happening? Yeah, but now FaceTime's a thing. People like it's less obvious.

I still. I think that's mental when people face-time in public. Do you? Yeah. Call on the phone. Speak, like, you don't just see that. I don't need to see you at your garage. I mean, I don't face-time full stop.

No, neither do I. But if I saw someone Face-timing, I wouldn't be like, that's mental. No, I wouldn't. That's true. I would just think, like... So I think that's the thing is I think... I like to think people think I'm just Face-timing. Right.

My, like, twin. And I'm not... I'm not the better person here. No. I'm at fault because I don't put anything on the internet because I'm too ashamed. And so... But fair place to the people who are, yeah, you have to. You do have to get over it, but I really,

people who have photo shoots in public. Good God. How? Yeah. And also can you teach me what poses? Oh my God, the people who could just naturally pose in a picture. I don't. There should be classes in it.

There should be classes in it. I did a gig last night and I got sent the pictures from it. But didn't we talk about other pictures. No, we're not talking about. I got put on Instagram the other day, Julia. Oh my God. Every single picture, every single picture I've ever done from any gig is absolute shit. but that's the worst one.

Like, look, I love you, but that was a fucking awful photo. Terrible. That was, that was the work. You looked like a killer. Awful. Because they're fucking photographer. So they were taking,

so this was a gig. This was a gig. You looked both dead and at the killer. Oh my God. At once, it was insane. Genuinely, I have, I've laid awake at night. We need to put that picture on the grid. No, we're absolutely not.

Yeah, the pictures going on the grid. No, it's not. It's the worst picture you will ever see. She looks insane. It's like she's playing a fucking haunted puppet in a fucking horror movie. Because the photographer. She's like, play with me. So I turn up at this gig, I just think it's a normal gig that I'm doing.

And they turn up and there's like, oh, this guy's here to take pictures. I was like, oh, okay, assuming it's pictures when we're on stage. I was like, yes, that's annoying but fine. Because literally every single picture I've ever seen of me on stage is horrific. Anyway, and then after I've been on, oh, it's absolutely. It's because I pull stupid faces and I'm doing. This isn't true. I saw your profile picture was you on stage for a bit.

No, never. I don't think I've ever done that. but anyway so after the gig I was like oh okay fine it's all good I can go and they're like oh no we just need we just need the photographer to take a picture of you yeah and I was like oh I sort of assumed he'd done it when I was yeah on stage

and then they oh no no I'm just I'm getting everybody to do it individually so we have to fucking pose maybe was that photographer I looked like it was taken on like it was a no it was like a it looks like one of like like you know when like GCC where you do your own head shots it's a hundred percent because it's fucking black and white yeah and it's like set in a prison. Everything about it

is awful. If you don't find this picture on worst case scenario, visit at Abbey Park Comedy and I'll be happy to chat. And I hope you've enjoyed the podcast with me as Abby's co-host because this is the last one I'll be doing. I'm just going to do a safety screenshot. Don't you fucking dare. Yeah. This will live forever.

Well, this has been lovely. How many episodes do we do? 18, that's pretty good. Save to... I had hoped we would end on more of an explosive argument than this, I quite enjoy that it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, a, so, a woman has, it's, it's, a photo, not his photo, not his photo, her photo, he obliges, to be honest, I was actually really impressed, he took five, like, he knew to do the candid, do you know what I mean? Usually, when you give a man a phone they take one photo to be honest in that state of mind i'm surprised didn't throw her phone off

the fucking bridge yeah like he's crying she got a good picture out of that she picked the crying man to be fair maybe he wasn't crying at this point yeah yeah he was there for 40 minutes yeah okay but yeah but this is how unaware people who are also a tourist i don't think maybe she spoke oh okay right because when he did the impression in the documentary there was a slight accent oh dear okay do you want to give us a little taste of what that accent was no no no okay you can watch the documentary you can watch his attempt okay so he thought at this point he was like that's mad that she's here to make happy memories oh right yeah you know what I mean like this woman is here making happy memories like look at the golden gate brick yeah and he's basically here to die

yeah right um and I guess that's when he resolved that no one cared right that was kind of the woman he thought she was going to intervene, she didn't. And so that was the point where he put his hands on the forefoot railing and launched himself over. He said, the millisecond my hands left that rail and my legs cleared it, I had what's called an instantaneous regret from my actions. And the absolute recognition that I had just made

the greatest mistake of my life and it was too late. Oh my God. He fell headfirst at 75 to 90 miles per hour. it changed on different accounts he felt the equivalent of a 25-story building he was conscious the whole way down oh my god

and it only took four seconds but I bet there was a long four seconds a long four seconds and miraculously in the long four seconds mid-air he was able to turn himself around so he entered the water feet first

if it'd gone head first would have been over he jumped off headfirst He dove, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, he dove for head first, so like hands on the rail over, but he managed to flip himself so that he went feet first when he regret it. Yikes.

Yeah. So he's entered feet first. He opens his eyes, he's underwater, he's alive, but drowning. He frantically swam to the surface using only his arms. He break his legs. So, we'll get there. but yeah the legs aren't working so good um so he's only using his arms he broke the surface and prayed god please save me i don't want to die i've made a mistake on repeat and he believes god hurt him um

luckily as he went over the rail a woman driving past had seen him and called her friend who was a coast guard yeah fucking hell who just happened to be on shift yeah wow so this is another thing he says he was like so many just like things aligned yeah that meant he survived that like a what are the chances oh my god um who knows somebody who works at the coast guard i guess people who live by the coast oh yeah sure yeah good point um so this meant the boat arrived within the three minute window before hypothermia set in wow um but he still needed to stay above water until the coast guard got that right and he's not using his legs yeah um um So he can't stay afloat.

He's sinking, he's really struggling to stay above water. He's going to drown. This is when he had a little Julia moment. Yeah. And he went, this is where I die. Yeah. This is, I die now. Also, it's really hard to float when your legs, if your legs are...

I can't float even when my legs are working. You know, when I had my Edinburgh right down and I went in the sea. Yeah. I tried to do that kind of really like therapeutic, like, girly in the sea. Like float. Yeah. You know, play mice iris flowers kind of like float. Yeah, yeah.

It's just sunk, just sunk every time. Heavy legs. Heavy butt. Bragg. It's muscle density. You've got dense muscles. You've got dense muscles. It's very hard to float.

Oh, thanks. I feel better about it now. Yeah. But yeah, Freya was just like floating on it. Like it was a crystal sea and I just could not float. I don't float. Dense muscles. Is that actually why?

Yeah. Sick. Okay. So, um, Jim is bugging off. Uh-huh. So he thought he was going to die But he was like, I can't die Because if I die

No one will ever know that I didn't want to So he was like, I have to survive I have to survive so people know that I didn't want to And then something began to circle Beneath him No, no, no, no thank you No, unsubscribe, I don't know A large, slimy and very much alive creature

So it connects to the sea So like I said, somebody's get washed out to sea so like sea creatures are in it and he thought what what did you just what sentence did you just what do you mean like the water underneath the Golden Gate Bridge yes there's sea creatures in it yeah but like you said that as if it was a mermaid

like you were like it connects to the sea no but like in my head like a bridge in a city I'm not thinking sea I'm thinking it's a bay yeah so of course Just clarifying.

Oh, okay. That it goes out into the ocean immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not like, it's not like the Thames, you know? Which does eventually. That's why they put Alcatraz there, because if you escape, you're getting eaten by sharks. I didn't know.

Alcatraz was there. Alcatraz is in San Francisco. In the... I do not know that. Yeah, in the thing. Well, see, this is information for people like me. Oh, there you get. Not you, all right.

I was just like... This is for people who want, don't have good geography. I don't know. fuck it is. I just assumed I at first was like how's that there? How's that there in the water that he's just...

But you know, like every now and then you'll see a whale get stuck in a river, but like this was the sea. You think this was just like a little estuary or something? I don't know, well, it's... Okay. Okay. So do we... Some people write in, some people

don't please say write it. We'll have appreciated that information. Okay. Yes, I'm sure. No, I just, I want... No, everything's for you, all right? No, everyone's at your reading level, Julia. Okay. So what is this fucking sea creature?

Some of us young and still have things to learn. Okay. Not that young anymore, mate. Okay, right. What's the sea creature? He thought, so this is it. So he didn't know, and he was like, you've got to be kidding me.

I didn't die, jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Now I'm swallowed by a whale. And now a shark is going to eat me. Oh. but it turns out it wasn't a shark what was it so a year later on a TV show promoting a suicide prevention campaign um Kevin said that he thought there had been a shark beneath him and among the many letters he was sent by people after the appearance one stood out it was from that shark so sorry I spook you oh hey me I'm actually a dolphin bitch okay um no it said this isn't like an exact quote

because I'm quoting him quoting it. Yeah. So he was giving the general gist. But it said, Kevin, I'm so very glad you're alive. I was standing less than two feet away from you when you jumped. Until this day, watching this show, no one would tell me whether you lived or died. It's haunted me this whole time.

Oh my God, that's giving me goosebumps. That's mental. By the way, there was no shark, like you mentioned on the show. Plastic bag. Was it a plastic bag? But there was a sea lion and the people above looking down believed it to be keeping your body afloat

until the Coast Guard boat arrived. Oh my God! Yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. In my head he's wearing a little lifeguard outfit. Oh. Yeah, so like sea lions, dolphins

and one other creature are like known. Dolphins are really good for it, aren't they? To like help. know that you're safe. If there's a dolphin near you. Did you see the video online? There was a video online where like a diver, a dolphin, oh no, it was a seal.

It was a seal. I think so maybe it's sea lion's seals and dolphins. A seal thought this diver was drowning and kept trying to like bringing him up to the surface but the diver didn't really understand what was going on. He thought like the seal was just like petting him or like wanting attention. And then the seal went off and it came back with another seal.

Oh my God. And then the diver still was just like, oh cool, cool seal in calum. and then they came back with like a whole pack of seals they're like guys he's really not listening he's not trying to help himself and so then he kind of worked out and all these seals lifted to the surface and he let them I love that so much have you seen that video of the sea I think it's a seal or a sea line who's um in uh I guess like a sea life kind of like an enclosure and there's a person who's like on the side of the pool just like cleaning up and the

seals going around getting the cones out of the pool and like putting it on the side so helpful they're just animals are so much better than we are yeah they really are okay so coast guard arise sea lion swims off they're like you got it from here boys he's done he's done his job uh they fished him out onto a flat board put him in the neck brace strapped his feet to the board and said, kid, do you know what you just did? He's like, yeah, I just jumped from the God and Gate Bridge. They're like, why? He said, I don't know.

I thought I had to die today. And they said, do you know how many people we fish out that aren't alive? He said, I don't want to know. But it turned out that that Coast Guard, the Coast Guard is in the documentary. He'd fished out 56 dead people and one live one, him. Yeah. He was his only live. Wow.

Also, heavy conversation to go in when you just come out of the water. I think they just... Give them a tea first. Jesus Christ. I just don't think they're expecting him to be alive. Yeah, to be fair, I don't think they've prepared chit-chat. Yeah, okay, fair. So meanwhile, A&E, doctors, nurses, they're looking at the board.

The A&E board, seeing what's coming in. Yeah, yeah. And written on that board says Golden Gate Bridge Jumper. And trauma nurse, Christy for Cherry. was shocked having never thought of anything in her career. She could hear him coming through the door so she knew his airway was intact. Actually, no, she did say he was continuously saying sorry.

Oh my God! Yeah. He was very apologetic and in pain. Yeah. The intense impact broke his ankle and his back, shattering three vertebrae, which came just two millimeters short of six. severing his spine.

But he was neurologically intact. And because he hit the water feet first, that impact went back up his spine, but luckily fractured the lowest point where the spinal cord ends. And the nurse said that that's more just nerves rather than the actual spinal cord. Oh my God, how lucky.

So is he one of the few people who can now walk? Yeah, wow. Wow. I think there was like five. Yeah. and it happened that it just happened this is another just happened one yeah um that one of the most foremost back surgeons on the west coast who wasn't even meant to be on shift was there and he opted to do his surgery and he invented a surgery for him like it's the certain way he did it

and it's only been done that time um so his dad was the first to arrive he like talked about how his dad's like a really like tough guy but he was just like sobbing like waterfalls he was like dad i'm so sorry and then he was like no i'm sorry um his dad no actually i'll skip to his mom's response because i love it um it's so incredibly optimistic so you know how he said he did drama yeah also so in the documentary meet some fun characters they talked to his wrestling coach and he says to the wrestling coach like how how like what when did you notice my mental health had turned yeah and the guy was like it kind of seemed to happen like overnight and he was like something like you just like weren't interested in wrestling or you were like really into drama red flag red flag

first red flag you just needed so much attention yeah like you just like always in that drama room i'll be honest you became insufferable um um but his mum's response when she came in she said god wanted you to win that oscar oh and he was like mom i did the high school thing but okay so they all had different reactions yeah his dad was crying his brother was really angry he was only 13 at the time and he said that

like their relationship never quite healed his dad stayed by his side in hospital for four weeks they tried to check him out like they were like visiting hours over you have to leave yeah and he's like get me a cop and they were like no you don't understand like no family stays after visiting hours

they even got like security and the dad was just like get me a cot and eventually they just got him a cot and he stayed the whole four weeks. Wow. And also because I think at some point Kevin was like put under. Okay. So like the dad didn't know how much of his son was going to wake back up kind of thing. Right. At one point. They put him in an induced coma or something. Yeah. Right. So he was just like I'm not going anywhere. Yeah. That must be terrifying. And although his body healed, he continues to live with mental health issues. He was moved to a psychiatric unit at St. Francis Hospital in San Francisco. He stayed in total 10 times in a psychiatric ward. First three were forced. So he wasn't happy

about it at first. But the last seven were voluntary. So the instant regret of jumping off the bridge did not result in an instant mental health recovery once he had survived. So he works daily and diligently to manage continued symptoms that can include depression and hearing voices. Additionally, he takes medication, he sees a therapist. He does at least 23 minutes, very specific, 23 minutes of vigorous exercise each morning, which leads to a better mood. He eats a brain-healthy diet. It's all about this like brain-to-gut thing. He does daily lightbox therapy. He meditates, he uses music therapy, and he shares this plan online. He is like, you just. You just. You just. YouTube channels, if there's a website.

He said in a podcast where he was like, people say that suicide's really selfish. Yeah. And he was like, it's not selfish because we, when you're doing it, you don't think other people want you about. Well, it sounds like he thought he was doing everybody a favour. You think you're doing everyone a favour. Yeah.

But yeah, but this is the thing, his dad. And he says that he wished, this is where. It's wild that his dad sort of got a, got a feeling. like tried to spend time with him that day yeah and he says that like he really regrets it says i wish i said to my father that morning am i a burden to you because he would have said no i wish i said to my dad i'm thinking about suicide because he would have said i'm not letting you go but he didn't and he just needed that one person yeah like even a stranger on the bridge yeah um also a thing i love about his dad his dad i'm not going to get this exact because i can't remember where i saw it um so this

won't be an exact quote but at some point his dad forced him to go back to the bridge where he jumped and he was like we're going to go there together and they like dropped a flower and watched the flower like very peacefully like land on the water yeah and you never guessed what popped up not the sea lion Well, probably not the, but a sea lion popped up and he was literally like, it was like one of the most beautiful moments for my entire life. Oh my God. That's the end of the film, isn't it?

Like, if you're going to do a film of this, that's the last scene. Wow. He also, on his third stay in a psychiatric hospital, that's when he actually met his wife of 12 years, Margaret, sorry, Margie. Kevin's dad calls Margie the real hero and says she should get an awful. a lot of credit for Kevin's successes. She's been able to encapsulate his bipolar disorder

that that is there every day. So this is the thing like he still lives with this disorder, but he's learned that his thoughts don't need to be his actions. Right, right, right, right. And he's kind of just decided that like, that's not an option. Yeah.

And so he's learned how to deal. And he says, when he has thoughts of suicide, he does two things. The first thing is he says out loud, my thoughts do not have to, come my actions and the second thing he does is he says to anyone who will listen I need help now and he has like a group of people and if that person can't be there for him he'll go find someone who can be yeah well it's so great that they met at a facility she obviously like yeah i think i think it was

like her brother like she knew someone who was also in there oh okay um it wasn't until 18 months after that ordeal though that it was actually his chaplain who was the first to encourage him to speak to others about his experience and so a hesitant Heinz gave his first talk to 127th and 8th graders he says I was freaking out as a mess

Jesus your first gig that is huge 127 kids they're the worst oh ease him in with an open mic yeah but two weeks later the children sent him letters several of the kids told Hines his talk made a difference and that they received the help they needed.

Oh my God. Though I will say I freaking love this chaplain. He's such a sassy bitch. Oh my God. Oh really? He was literally, so he was having like a really serious well first of all this is how he greets him.

He's like oh my god you look different to how I saw you last and the guy was like oh yeah I was a little heavier and he went no you were fat. And I was like I'm going to like this guy. He's pulling no punches. And then when they were talking about the uh fact that he encouraged him first to speak he went yeah and i will

say you've gotten better at making that speech i was like this guy you really honed the set what a roast that's like me trying to flirt um yeah so then he said to his dad he was like dad we have to do this any way we can we have to like spread this story um and today he travels the globe spreading the message of hope because it helps heal people he co-founded the Kevin and Margaret Heinz Foundation yeah um an organization based in Atlanta Georgia that provides funding and education for suicide prevention in the United States and elsewhere like I said he's helped save me numerous lies he's a suicide prevention advocate he's also part of the people campaigning for like suicide prevention measures on the bridge.

Wow, that's great. And yeah, he travels, he speaks about his harrowing journey around the nation and urges people to realize that suicide is not an answer and that getting treatment for mental illness is a necessity. He says, no matter what you're going through today, you can have a better tomorrow. Wow. Amazing. And I mean, there's so much more as well.

Like said, he has his own documentary. called The Ripple Effect. He's written multiple books. Yeah, I remember seeing that documentary. He's done multiple talks where he tells the story far better than me, obviously. He's done multiple podcasts. Just search his name.

He has a website that includes many resources, including a 10-step guide for better mental health and well-being and a parent's guide to teen suicide prevention. I was going to say, it's so good that he's like speaking to school children about this because that's such a vital time in your life where you can definitely feel all of those things.

He spoke to quite a lot of people who had had a friend tell them that they were feeling suicidal but had told them don't tell anyone and then they'd respected the friend's wishes and then lost a friend. He was like, that's quite common. He was also asked on the podcast season

being like, are you sick of telling the story? And he was like, it's hard or a bad day. Yeah. But it's an honour to be able to tell it. Wow. And that, like, on a good day, it's actually, like, invigorating because it reminds him that, like, he wants to be in live and it's hope. And he does say, like, it is hard work. You do have to work hard.

Like, like, he's got this plan and he has to stick to it. And he takes medication and he does. And when he needs to go to a hospital, he'll go to a hospital. Yeah. He asks for help. I suppose that's it, isn't it? It's, like, recognise it. He knows all of the things to look for now when he's feeling.

Yeah. Like that. And recognizing what that is. Well, he also said that's it's. like in the hospital, I think it was like an uncle or something came in and was like do you want to get better? It kind of gave like some tough luck. And then had like this book or this article that had been written about like ways and he'd never seen anything like this before. He was like, why haven't any of these therapists or just been like here at like practical ways? Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Like diet and stuff. Yeah. I do 23 minutes of exercise every day. Yeah. And he said that he hopes each time he tells his story the hope he conveys to the suffering will enable them to open up to realize I can help myself today. He urges anyone who sees someone suffering or upset like he was that day on the Golden Gate Bridge or whom they suspect maybe having suicidal thoughts to reach out. The suicidal person needs to hear what I needed to hear, that we care about you, your life does matter and that all we want is for you to stay. He says, if someone had looked at me on that bridge or on that bus and said that to me,

I would have begged for help. Oh my God. That is the story of Kevin Hunt. lines that was great he's so cool he watch watch him listen to him read him yeah um wow what a story what are you putting in the survival toolkit can i put the chaplain in he's oh i love that guy we could audio was a bit of a chat for the chaplain i love a sassy chaplain a body shaming Charlottling can we put sea turtleing can we put oh mate can we can we put a sea lion is that allowed

I think it's allowed it's a single item oh yes yes Neil you have to put yourself on mic now Neil said it's allowed Neil said it's allowed uh yes sea lion sea lion with the flower in its mouth and a little life jacket yeah Are you ready for a listener story? I'm so ready. Great. Well, I've got some good ones.

If you want to send your listener story, your worst case scenario to us, we love to hear it. You can send them to help at wcspod.com. Please and thank you. Smashed that. Thank you. That was the best you've ever done. Thank you so much. I've been practicing.

Okay. Hi, Abby and Julia. Brackets. Wave to Neil. is scratch for Laudra. Oh, he's not here. But we would. We would if we could.

So Neil's going to have to. We're just going to trust. He turned his video off. We don't know what he's doing. He might not even be here. He's making himself a couple too. A kid. Big sigh from Neil on the headphones there.

That was a, more of this shit. Right. Just finished binging the podcast and thought I'd tell you about my terrifying WCS experience. Back in 2012, me and Donna, my best friend at the time... What a name. Oh my God, is this Mama Mia? Is she Donna in that?

Donna, yeah. Donna slept with three men. Oh, the mum is Donna. And we don't know, which is the father of her child. Right. Is that the story? Yeah. Was it your dad in the end?

No, my dad was gay. Sorry, for context. My dad was in the original mama, Mayor. He's not just come out this week. Oh, he was gay. He played the, uh, the gay one. The gay one. Oh, lovely. Okay.

Sorry, Colin Firth played my dad part, my dad's part. Yeah. I did it, Dad, I did it for you. You welcome, Paul. I got the word out. The cast will never give it credit. Really? Are we allowed to eat? Spilling some tea?

I mean, how long's it been? I think we're okay. I think it's been long enough. Yeah. Um, okay. So my best friend at the time, just kidding, we're still friends. Really like, yeah. Oh my God, look at us getting in Jones.

Right? This is like making real life friends. I know, I like it. I like that a lot. This is so new to me. We were backpacking in Thailand. Oh, gone off you already. First mistake.

Backpacking. Terrible. Okay. We found ourselves in a lovely small family run place which consisted of a central building with a bar. Okay, I'm back on board. And a bunch of beach huts. Okay.

Sounds good. Super cute and really rural. We checked into our room and found that as it was made of wood, it was hotter than the sun. Okay. As luck would have it, there was an adjoining room two hours, so I unscrupulous. I knew I was, I read it and I knew I was going to fuck it up.

This is what's happened, we're back on the marguerite. We can't, you can't put words like unscrupulously. What does that even mean? Like without any scruples. What's she trying to show, what's she trying to prove? Stop showing all. What are scruples? What's a scruple?

like um you don't really care like it's just say that then i i i respect it but you are making my life more difficult after a very strong marguerese academic pretentious crates loitering and toilets again thanks for writing in please continue to do so so i unscrupulously went in and nicked the fan uh so that we had two in our room so she's gone next door she snuck in Sneaky. Was anyone in there? I'm assuming it's it, yeah. Unaware, I would assume not. We went off to the bar

where a few hours in, a German lady started treaking. Oh no. Steady. Was she like, where's my fucking fun? Oh. Who took my fan? No?

No, she was screaming because there was a snake in the bar. I was just really annoyed you took her fan. We all jumped up on tables, the family dog literally sat there looking at it useful oh my god i actually had a nightmare this week yeah uh that a snake tried to eat my cat oh my god yeah okay and i and i woke up oh no we're still on it okay

good no no so like i for some reason i had snakes and then i also had cats of um and then i was a pet snake and i also had puppies um no i think like i was like i think i was like uh pet ownership trans i was like moving them for like somewhat and we lost a snake and it was like well fuck where the fuck it's the snake right um and then it turned out and it was like maybe the snake will go for the puppy and then we can trap the snake yeah um and then i found the snake it was hidden you know the cord that goes through your dressing gown yeah to tie it up it hidden under that so it looked like a dressing gown cord but it was the snake under and then the snake's head appeared and it was just going for the cat and i went to like stand on it and then i woke up and i was so

stressed. I've had the pits were sweaty after that, weren't they? I've had a lot of nightmares this week actually. Maybe I'm not doing... Yeah, maybe we do need to call someone. No, I'm fine. Okay. But it was really anxiety-inducing dream.

Yeah, that sounds horrible. Yeah. Maybe it's also because, like, in the hot weather, I refused to open my windows. That might be doing something. Yeah, you're eating a lot of cheese before bed because that would do it? No.

No, I've been Maltese's this week. Oh, okay. A bit about me. Sure. Should we get back to this actual horrible situation? okay good um so the dog's doing nothing the bar owner took it outside looking back he appeared to be laughing at us i don't think it was poisonous and we all settled back to our drinks so just a bit of fun a bit of fun in the bar okay just a bit of we soon headed off to bed texture to the story sure sure a little on edge

as we walked through the dirt it's not a fan it's a snake as we walk through the snake pretending to be a fan and they're dressing gal called. Just windmilling itself. Just this little tongue like, Okay. So they're walking back to their huts in the dark, sort of anxious that there's a snake on the loose. Yeah, you would be.

We tucked ourselves into our sing. There's a snake in my boon. We tucked ourselves into our single beds with a fan pointed at each of us and arranged our, arranged our mozziness. I don't like how relevant these fans are. To keep us covered.

And it's then we heard it. No, what? Something outside making a deeply creepy noise. It sounded a bit like a squeaking. A mouse, we thought. Possibly a frog. Possibly something else. Terrified, neither of us willing to go and look outside.

Laying in the dark, we speculated whether the creature could get inside and how we could defend ourselves. What are you doing in this situation? You can hear something outside. It's the fan, in it? At the door. There's been too much mention of fans, right?

They've got to come back into the story. Let's see. We slept terribly. The sound pressing in on us from all sides. The creature on patrol. I really like how this one's written. It's very atmospheric. It's one of those fans that goes around.

The creature on patrol. Looking for a way. to get inside and eat us. But what, a mouse? If this was a mouse, you really are overreacting. Yeah, but still, if it's a mouse, you're not,

you're not sleeping well if there's a mouse scuttling around. Oh no, what is the mouse gonna do? It could like eat your little toe, Max. As if, who are you? Who have you turned into, bare fucking grills?

I like mice. As if you would give, oh, so you wouldn't give a shit if there was a mouse in your room? No, I think that was quite cute. At night time. No, wouldn't mind. You're full of shit.

I don't believe you. I used to have, my sister, I'd pet rats. That's insane. Yeah, I'm actually like immune to rodents. It's fine. If I went on I'm a celebrity, actually I shouldn't give this away.

No, I'm so scared of rats. Oh no, not the rat challenge. Don't give me the rat challenge. I'd love to see you on I'm a celebrity. I never, I will never. I would run up my phone bill so hard making me do all the challenges. Okay.

They're scared. The night passed in the daylight, knowing that now I could at the day. least see, uh, sorry, knowing, knowing that now I could at least see to defend myself, I bravely got out of bed. As I crept towards the door, Donna poised on her bed, ready to defend me. I grabbed the only weapon I could think of, the fan near my bed. The noise. The murderer. The noise immediately stopped. Yeah. Turns out, the noise was called by the button that was, that I'd pressed down to stop the fan from oscillating.

oscillating gosh this is a great vocabulary my god and that's the story of how donna and i survived the terrifying fan monster big hugs emma thanks emma great vocabulary not so good storytelling i did guess the end uh you did give away the ending a little bit too much mention of the fan actually you should have held that back a bit bread crumb it bread crum it you gave it away you get did you hear how i maybe let you let you think the sea lion was a shark you know i didn't give it away too soon No, you also made it sound like it was a fucking mermaid, so maybe don't take your tips on creative writing from Abby. You couldn't get, you couldn't get.

Look, we're all here to grow. We're all here to learn, we're to grow. I love that every week. Every week, we say, please, please send in your stories and we're going to read it out. And every week, Abby fucking tears it to shreds. There's always room for improvement. I always got notes, Neil's, Neil knows that.

no yeah baby does she have notes I know it's cliche but I just wanted to let you know I love the pod oh thank you just a quick one do you still yeah

what was this date how nervous are you now before I read this that Abby's gonna tear it to shreds just a quick one that literally happened today this is like bedtime stories I've just

I've just moved to Malaysia uh huh excuse me I've just moved to Malaysia for work and I'm trying to, I'm trying my best to be on time and make a good impression. That's good. Yeah, that's, it was a better minimum. This morning, after I had snoozed my alarm about three times, so it's not going well.

It's not going great. I stumbled into my on-sweet. Oh-huh. Braggs, I was doing well. Without my glasses on. I mean, she said full work, so. Yeah. She has an income.

I turned on the shower and then went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Oh no. I walked back into the bathroom and had one foot in the bath when I noticed something move out of the corner of my eye. I took a few steps back and saw something on the shower curtain. It's a spider, isn't it? I got closer as I couldn't see. Right, as somebody who should wear glasses all the time. Yeah. When you don't have I guessed the ending. When you don't have your glasses on and you see something, but you don't properly see it. Oh, it. it's terrifying you know i'm james strickey yes he's a comedian very funny look him up um i did a car show with him yesterday yeah and he was pitching me a new bit but like i don't he was like are we burning

his bit on this book i'll check with him but he was talking to me about when he goes for a haircut yeah he's a glass as well he is um but he's like an actual like he cannot see about his glasses yeah yeah and he was saying that when he goes to the hairdresser he takes his glasses off yeah and then they put the little cape on him. Yeah. And the glasses are like stuck under the cape. So then he's just blind for his hair cut. And then they go, what do you think, mate?

And he's like, yeah, looks good. And he doesn't know what's, and I was like, but James, why don't you just like put your glasses on the like table where you put your phone? And he was like, I don't go on my phone during a hacker. He was like, you can go on your phone during a haircut. He has just been staring into a mirror he can't see. blankly for an entire no magazine's in a box

I was like you don't the glasses don't have to stay under the cape you could put them out before they put the cape on and then when they're like how's that look mate you could put your glasses back on

check yeah and that was mind blowing to him he was too socially as here to take the glasses out from beneath the cape maybe he just likes the break of the...

But also I thought when he was like you can go on your phone I thought he was going to be like like don't you talk to the head of us no he just sits silently in silence I bet he does and looks sort of blur ahead of him yeah

and walks out with a mullet he didn't ask for that's probably like quite nice though but like mindfulness sometimes i like just not having my glasses on and just staring into the middle distance just oh i wish that was an option for me not thinking all right 2020 vision right okay so she's got one foot in the bath she can see something in the corner of her eye i took a few steps back and saw something on the shower curtain i got closer as I couldn't see what it was and saw eight large, hairy legs. I'm very arachnophobic

and had only been awake for a few minutes. Also, first, as soon as you're awake, this should not be the first thing you see. Also, are they poisonous in Malaysia? Well, let's find out. I'd only been awake for a few minutes, so I was a bit stressed. I grabbed the essentials out of the room

and used a screwdriver to lock up, the door shut this is my approach lock it in lock the spider in he lives there now whilst brushing my teeth in the kitchen sink

yeah avoidance there's nothing more degrading brushing your teeth in the kitchen sink I tried to rationally think about how to get rid of the spider but I don't have a cup or bowl big enough

how big was this spider holy fuck a bowl wasn't big enough oh god what's next where do you go after bowl I don't know Pan?

Yeah, it's got to be Collander it's got holes That's got a hole But nice They could put their legs through it Like a harness Oh god

Oh that's even scarier But nice for the spider To feel held To feel held Buhbba Bha Bha Cut their balls I do you

Cut their balls Is that not a thing Is that comforting for you Oh cup Cup Cup What did I say? cut oh how does that work no only for loud drop okay this this is really taking a turn i'm so

sorry charlotte um okay so she screwed i'm filling while julia she screwed struggles to read this without her glasses because you keep stopping me right i've made the font you're up to the screen i've made the font big enough like fucking dora looking through a window her neighbor's window i'm just trying to connect with our listeners uh-huh okay so brushing her teeth in the sink tried to ration it the bowl was not big enough and now I was running late so I had to just leave it and go to

work though I was a bit distracted all day as I couldn't bear the idea of it touching all my stuff it's just going around like with their makeup like ooh what's this yeah it's like when your mom shaving it's pits yeah when your mom comes to visit and it's like nothing safe you're definitely

she's looking through those drawers there's something happening do you think for sure Sure. I think my mum's too scared of everything I own for being too modern. Oh, do you think so? She probably, like, the only thing she touches is the screen of my laptop. The screen of your laptop? Yeah, like, my mum insists that, like, all technology.

Is touchscreen? Well, no, like, she can't use any technology that actually is touchscreen. But then my laptop, she's like, that's for sure touch screen. She's trying to touch every screen. And she tries to touch the laptop screen. Anytime I show her anything on my laptop, I'm like, hey, mom, look at this. She's like, boop. scrub. I'm like, this laptop has never been touch screen. This is not a phone. Okay, skip forward 10 hours

and I was coming. 10 hours, that's a long shift. And I was coming home. I felt a bit sick as I entered my apartment and was checking every surface as I walked past in case it squeezed under the door and into my bedroom or living room. That's the worst thing is when you leave a spider. You don't know where it's gone. No, I can't leave. Like, I have to keep my eyes in it. Like, I have to shout for someone else and and then I have to watch it. Yeah. If I lose eyes on it, I move house. It's gone, yeah.

I opened the onsuit, again, very impressed you've got an onsuit. I opened the onsuit door with the screwdriver, and I honestly don't know if I was relieved or terrified to see it still there. Oh, relieved. And it looked bigger than it had in the morning. She's got glasses on, I imagine. She can probably see it properly.

I ran out of my apartment without even locking my front door. Oh, no. Now it can get into any bit of your apartment. And down to the security office and begged someone to come and help me. The security guard was half laughing at me as he accompanied me back to the apartment. Oh, I bet he now freaks out at actually how big it is. Until he caught sight of the tarantula. Trinthula!

I couldn't watch as he went into the bathroom and hid in my bedroom. Fuck off. I assume he killed it as there were sounds of a struggle. Do I actually even put off a fight? I love the idea of him going, whoa, and then shutting the door and it just being like crashing sound, everything's off the shelves. And then he comes out, disheveled. You weren't there, man, you don't know.

Did he kill the trash? I was asleep with it. Stop! I assume he killed it. After he fucked it. as there were sounds of a struggle coming from the bathroom. And then he left it in a hurry. I did catch sight of an unmoving hairy leg poking out under his hands.

I'm not sure if that really counts as a survival story. So I'll let you guys be the judge of that. Thanks, Charlotte. I think it counts. Wait, what happened to the spider? So, well, it ended up unmoving in the security guards' hands. And then... In his hand.

Yeah. she said unmoving hairy leg poking out of his hands RIP RIP that tarantula Yeah I want to know where the rest of the body was You'd hope under the hand No I think he just took a leg as a trophy

Just as like I got it Yeah That tarantia's still in there Seven-legged tarantula Don't let him go until you see the whole body See the whole corpse Tarantulas can live without a leg Yeah

It probably grows back Probably does Stronger Bionic It's probably gonna like Spitz Two taranches now Here's that leg

He'll take that home He puts it in the bin This is like the end of Jamanji Where like you hear the drums again And then the like tarantula And like little shot Sprout seven more legs Yeah from that leg

Big hairy body Now we've got two trancers on the loose Yeah That's a sequel baby Yeah But I hope you're enjoying Malaysia Charlotte Yeah I hope it's going well

Not to meet you anxious or anything But like I wouldn't sleep tonight How did the tranchely get in? That's not coming in through a drain, surely. Oh, that's horrifying. There's a major comedy festival in Melbourne, and I'd love to go, but I'm really, really quite too anxious about this idea.

You're fine, you're fine in Melbourne. Yeah, you're fine. It's going to come up with the toilet. Nah, they don't do that. No, not in Australia. What? In Australia, they're anti-toilers. They're like, nah, we're above that, actually. Yeah, that doesn't have...

I lived in Australia for three and a half years. Yeah, and you got bitten by a spilt. Yeah, but that was, it was hiding. It was hiding in a life jacket. It wasn't in a toilet. It was in a garage. Spiders are allowed to live in the garage, I think. That's their original dwelling.

I don't want them to live anywhere. No, I heard, because I was literally being like, that's how I live, and everyone's like, it's not in the cities, it's fine, they're not in the cities. And then I heard of someone that literally was like in a hotel in the city and then they like found like two spiders. And so now, nowhere safe. Okay.

Yeah, don't go to Melbourne then, I would, I would say. No, but like, for my career, I'm Norford. I was going to say. But, like, one day, it's in the goals. It's in the list. Sure. It's in the list. Well, then that'll be a decision you have to make, isn't it?

It's also a really long plane journey. It's all the things I hate. It is long. Anyway. Anyway, thanks Charlotte. That was a lovely story. That was great. I hope you're okay.

I hope the spider didn't come back. Yes. I hope you all survive another week. I guess we have to say bye now. I've done the logo. You've done the logo. I've done the sign-off. I've done the sign-off. It's over. It's still over. Thanks. I came too early. Get attacked by an angry shark. Stuck up a mountain in the dark.

Pushed up the top of a big landmark. Hit by lightning in your local park. Gord in the downpour of acid rain. Struck by meteor or a train. A proton beam passing through your brain. Attacked by that angry shark again. Hear how they survive. Traveled by a herd of buffalo chased with an axe by your new friend Joe Buried alive in a pile of snow The worst case scenario