Worst Case Scenario with Abi Clarke and Julia Stenton - Day 21 - Ed Ray

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

School bus driver Ed Ray was taking 26 students home from a summer class trip to the Chowchilla Fairgrounds swimming pool when a van blocked the road ahead of them. Ed stopped the bus and was then confronted by three armed men with nylon stockings covering their faces.Julia tells Abi all about what these who these men were, what they wanted and what they put Ed and the 26 students through in this episode of Worst Case Scenario.Send in your own worst case scenario to [e-mail] and please follow the podcast on Instagram @wcspod for video extras.Theme tune by the brilliant Crizards who can be found on Instagram @crizards Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcast everywhere acast.com A cordon a downpour about it rain Struck by meteorol a tray A proton being passing through your brain Attacked by that angry shark again Hear how they survive Trappled by a herd of buffalo Chaste with an axe by your new friend Joe

Buried alive in a pile of snow It's the worst case scenario Hello Hello Good day Good day A little treat for what's coming later

For the old things Hi Welcome to Worst Case in the podcast Where we tell survivor stories Of those who found themselves In the worst case scenario And survive to tell the tale We're building a survival toolkit

From each story So that we can one day survive To help us in our real lives Well not our real lives Our nightmarish lies that we should we be more adventurous that we we imagine for ourselves every week we get back to anxiety do you know what is what are we on now 21 I don't know we don't have oh my god oh shit we haven't done so since the start of this podcast you are going to have to explain

day one so if you if you look at the episodes they are named day one day two day three um because we thought that as if we are survival vibe we're stranded um and we had a what would you call one of these kind of fancy glasses it's not really a bottle it's more isn't it it's more than a bottle it's like a refillable glass bottle

it's something you find in like a country house yes it would be filled as like homemade vinegar or something yeah and we didn't want to waste margarita mix certainly not

so we filled it with apple juice and we have been labelling it with the different days very visually for an audio which you also can't see on any of the angles no but we've been labelling it

it every time day one urine day two urine and we've just been letting it ferment and it's got to such a stage that we came in today and the cleaner had chucked it it was last week it was maybe not even cleaner it could have been like a hazmat suit team yeah called it to be fair last week it was growing something on top of it yeah fully yeah created a poison it had a film along the top but i was so excited to like drink at the first live show. Wow. Dedication. Yeah.

Abby Clark poisons herself. So it's a sad day today really in the podcast studio is we mourn the loss. It is sad. Of our, of our own creation. Our own Frankenstein's monster. Yeah, I thought we were going to cure some kind of deadly disease. Yeah, for sure. A lot of work went in.

So now that's gone. I don't know. Do we do another? But is it just going to get chucked out every time? Yeah. To be fair, that did last like 20 episodes, which is nearly six months. Wow. Yeah. But imagine six more months. What would we've seen? I think it would have just solidified. It'd be like jelly. Interesting. Yeah. The whole thing. It was such, it was such a wonderful colour. It was horrific. It hadn't, like, it didn't have any blue on though, which is amazing. Blue? Oh, like mould.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It all stayed within the real like autumnal. colour scheme. It stayed on Piss theme. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. I was beginning to believe Neil had just filled it with piss and told us if it was apple juice, hoping someone would take a sip. And it's not like you were about to. It looked like a UTI. Did it? Yeah, I mean... I don't know about your UTI. I shared too much about that general topic. I think people are here for it. Okay, cool. I saw a TV program. I think you might be interested in. today, because I was in a hotel, so obviously I'm watching terrestrial, terrestrial, yeah, TV. Yeah, late night, I'm gonna say like Channel 4, it felt like Channel 4.

I'm on board. Naked, alone, and racing to get home. Oh, heard of it? No, but I am. Holy Moses, I was like, we're in the apocalypse. I'm so sold on this. It felt like something from the 2000s and future all at once. It was so exploitative.

Is it, and Hunger Games ask, go on, guess what it is? I think, in my head, I've decided what it is. I think it's, you know, the show hunted? Yeah. Where people in pairs are released into the world and they have to escape detection from like former police people who are like using all the gadgets and stuff to track these people down and you have to try and run away for as long as possible.

In my mind when you said that, it's that, naked? Kind of. I don't think anyone was chasing them. Oh, but trying to get home, did you say? Yeah, so they've clearly been like, they're just like in the woods. They're in the wilderness. I could not stop thinking about ticks. Oh my God.

Tick on the balls. Right? So they're, so I tune in halfway through the app. I don't know how they got there. Oh, okay. Okay, okay. But I'm going to say consensually. Yeah.

And they're in pairs, correct. one was a couple the other two strangers stop it strangers they were literally the voice over was like strangers blah blah blah

um also the guy narrating it the guy narrating it is narrating it like it's art like real serious but I think it has to be taken seriously because if you get a comedian to voice over that it's too much

so they're fully nude apart from really good boots and socks but everything else fully naked, you see everything. Full peen, boobs. Fully naked with socks and walking boots is such a funny

image. It's so it's so... It's real rambler-vise. And then they're literally having to go through like bushes, nude. Like just... And you can... Brambles. Think of the brambles. They're going through the bush, you can see their bush, like full bush. Um, and then

like they're like racing to like a checkpoint and then whoever gets to the checkpoint gets like food supplies and then they have to like make her shelter um still fully naked the strangers are like arguing of course she like starts to cry they're fully naked this whole time then it starts to it starts to rain and they're just naked no no blankets no clothes i was like what where have we got in society this is such a channel four show because also i'm like a hundred percent this didn't start with oh we want a new wilderness program how can we make it different Oh, let's make a naked.

No, they started with. We want a new naked show. Yeah, somebody pitched this. Everybody loves naked attraction. Right. How can we do naked attraction in the woods? Yeah. And they were like, said, what, what, what, what naked show would you pitch?

Um, great question. Thank you. I would go naked. Who wants to be a millionaire? Oh, okay. Just sat in the chairs. And what does the nudity add to that? Does Chris have to be naked too?

Yeah, they're both naked. Chris is just sat there. Just to make sure no one, no one cheats. Sheets. No one cheats. It's sort of like an honesty thing. Uh-huh. Yeah, because you're like, you're vulnerable.

You're naked. Everyone turn around cough as they're in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No coughing while in the studio, of course. Yes. Yeah, because I also think that like a naked man particularly just sat in a chair has got to be one of the worst images. It's so humbling.

Imagineable. But imagine being in a cold wood. Oh, I think that, I think what they've done is infinitely more entertaining than what I've pitched. Either, but like, why are you going on that show?

What, what naked show are you doing? Well, so I, originally, I think I was like, I'd like a naked strictly. Now, I know I talk a lot about strictly and slash that's in the future now, but I was like, they all like,

fuck anyway. Like, imagine how much quicker they would. I wonder if that would... Like dirty dancing kind of... So, like, I think it's strangers... Yeah. Who, like, meet and have to, like, learn to dance together, but they are naked the whole time.

But then I was like, oh, I'm speaking of a small breasted woman. I think anyone with larger breasts and no support... A nightmare. That's a nightmare. Also, dicks bounce about. I just don't think it would be comfortable for anyone. So I... Maybe not.

No. Maybe. That would be very funny, though. I know. Also, you know, a naked attraction when they hug, you know, they have to hug. Yes, it would just be that constantly. And they're both naked.

And they hug with their, like, ass is sticking so far out. And then, like, he accidentally would totally hit accidentally get an erection during the rumber. Do you know what I mean? Would they, though? Or would it be the worst. I think the shagging on Strictly would go dramatically down if they had to do the dancing naked. Yeah, 100%. Maybe, maybe this is a solution then.

Maybe, maybe I found the cure to the curse. It is an epidemic. at Strickley it is so honestly the PR people would be thanking me yeah yeah yeah I just the whole concept of Strickley is my living nightmare really that you have to dance for people on TV to then judge you it's my dream I could oh god we can't have we can't we can't we can't I don't think we I don't think we have a choice yeah so sorry but like now later people are going to be like you've already said this what's the outcome of alone in the forest naked. Oh, I don't know because

it was late, it was late at night. Oh, you didn't finish it. So it got to the point where they built a shelter, it started to rain, and I really did want to know what happened, but I also had an early train, and it was like past midnight at this point. And I had to bow out.

I know what I'm doing when I get home. Yeah. Neil, what would just quickly, what would be your naked show? Yeah. Naked Ninja Warrior. Oh! Yes. He's won. Phenomenal.

Smashed it. Phenomenal choice. Absolutely smashed. Oh, naked. Another suggestion, gladiator. Yes, love that. Just anything with wrestling? Do you know what I'd like?

Naked Master Chef. Sure. But the judges have to be naked too. Oh, but the health and safety has to be so, so many buns. Yeah, that's why it's dangerous. All right. I'm so excited for this one. It is.

it's a good one. What if we've done the same one? I had a panic yesterday. We've never actually done anything to avoid that since like week one. I spent so long doing this. I was like if I turn up and Abby's in the same one

I'm going to literally kick off. Literally kick off. Literally kick off. I'm going to literally kick off. What does Julia literally kicking up look like? I'll flip the table. Ooh, fun. Yeah, it'll be dramatic.

Oh, I hope I have done the same one now. Finally just see some emotion from you. Okay. It's a passion. That's all it takes. Okay. I'm nervous now. Right.

It's the 13th of June. Okay. 1976. No, we're good. Oh, thank God. Okay. It's a warm summer's day. It always is.

And 54-year-old Ed Ray drives his school bus to Dairyland Elementary School in Chowchilla, California. Okay. For the afternoon summer school route. Uh-huh. A lot of younger kids have. spent the day at their local swimming, at their local swimming pool. So there's probably like a very strong stench of chlorine in the... Oh, I love the smell of chlorine. Do you? Yeah. Oh, I love, the smell of a leisure centre. Do you? That's mad. No, you know, when you go, oh, I love that

smell. So, is it because it must, you must be clean or is it... Yeah, like, it's such a clean smell. Yeah. And, and... I can't help, but when I think of, when I smell chlorine, all I can think of is the changing room full. I just think there's a beautiful mosaic of turquoise and blue. There's always like a rogue plaster, hair. That's my plaster. Miscellaneous hair. Yeah, of course it is. Gross. And you have to like stand on your shoes to get chaired. No. I love something. Oh no. You wear the swimming costume there under your clothes, obviously. And then what you're leaving in your swimming costume, are you? Yeah, I give the boys what they want.

I was just strutting out in her swimming costume. I do. I do like Victoria Cremado, I would come. Oh, do you stick some wings on. Bikini round of the pageant, swimwear round. Yeah. Just stand on a towel, but by then you've had such fun and larks. You're riding the fun and larks, are you?

Yeah. Never mind the filthy floor. You're fine. Yeah. for you no I'm very well these kids I think had the same experience uh in good spirits sticking up the bus I haven't gone swimming since I can't imagine you used I don't even I don't own a swimming costume but when I did I used I used to love swimming and I still love the smell of a um I got my period right just constantly

no just genuinely I never got past I never got past being like oh I don't know, no risk. I never really understood that, like, a tampon does just keep it in. And also it kind of disappears in water. Sorry, Neil, this is all so much information for you. It disappears in water. Well, you just, like, don't bleed as much. You just, like, don't bleed as much in water.

Do you know what I mean? Like, if you take a bath, it doesn't, like, get all bloody. Yeah. Okay, so. Oh, we got the bit about me out early. What a change to form. This journey is not different in any way to other, sorry what have I written there this journey is not different to any other he's driven yeah just a

normal day just a regular day just a regular day it always starts on a regular day he's driving along the dusty country roads it never it never starts on a on a strange day does it wakes up and like something's different yeah about today I think I should just start like doing weird stuff every morning because then it could never be just a regular day right what kind of weird stuff are you going I'll be fine. I don't know, just like try a new breakfast. Weird. Wow.

Take a new route. I don't know. Do my hair different. Oh my God. Abby's living every day. And then they'll never be able to be like, it was just a regular day for Abby. They'll be like, Abby had tried a new breakfast.

Yeah. It was absolutely fine. I wonder which podcast you're going to end up on. What? Ours, this one, right now. Oh, it's a survival. Okay, good. Just check it, I don't know whether...

No, but I'm saying I wouldn't end up on a murder podcast if my day didn't start like any other, right? Oh, so you're starting your day differently in the hopes that you won't get murdered. Because it's never the people who start their day differently every day. Right, okay, yes. Routine is what I get to you. I give you three days before you give up.

Oh, yeah, I'm not going to genuinely do this. I don't like trying new foods. Yeah, I'm going to say. I'm very set in my ways. Okay. Right. But it was fun to fantasise. Yeah.

Isn't it, Jess? But I will continue to wear my hair like this and eat porridge for breakfast. Good, I should hope so. I'd be unsettled if you didn't. Right, Ed gets to a junction. The road he needs to turn on to is blocked by a white van. Suspicious. I don't like white vans.

Usually he'd stop and help, but he's not allowed to. He's got a busload of kids. They all need to get home, so no stopping today. They're damp. Yeah. So he begins to maneuver the bus around the van when a man exits and heads towards the bus. He looks strange, and as he gets closer, Ed realizes it's because his face is distorted. It's covered by nylon tights.

Oh, no. And in his hands are a revolver and a shotgun, both pointing directly at Ed. God, that would be hard to carry Yeah, I was thinking that Shotgun in one hand Shotgun in one hand I'm like that ain't even a threat Good luck, trying that

Yeah, maybe it's sorn off Does that make it easier to shoot? Well, it's shorter So it's less like to Yeah, okay I can't even hold one shotgun In those little games What games?

You know like in arcades? Oh, the plastic ones Yeah You're struggling with the plastic ones Exactly, that's my point Maybe you should do some swimming work on those guns um okay so uh shotgun pointing ed the gunman walks calmly over to ed's window and indicates him to open it ed complies the gunman then tells him to open the door terrified and unsure what the best thing for the safety of the kids is

again ed complies instead of boarding the bus though once the door is open the man just stands there in the doorway two more gunmen arrive from the van and join the first one why can't you just drive off well because there's guns pointing at him and they might just shoot big to get around yeah and the road is blocked and you're risking children getting shot so I would say all scenarios you're risking children getting shot as a rule of thumb if a person points a gun in your face probably just do what they want I would say I'm not gonna. Well, I don't think you're lasting very long.

No. I'll either get shot or if it's a child, like I'll listen a story. They'll just say okay. Yes. 10% chance they'll say okay. Yeah, 90% chance of your head being blown from your shoulders.

But I die a hero. So this is the story of how a group of children were kidnapped and buried alive on their way home from school. I've heard of this story. Have you? Excellent. Okay. So we're going to go back a year. It's 1975 and spoiled rich kid, Fred, whose parents have a sprawling estate and millions of dollars, but he can't hold down a job. He's like classic Nepo baby, hadn't had a job. Brooklyn Beckham. Sure. I'm a chef.

Him and his friend David have a side hustle where they flip cars, so they buy shitty cars, do them at him. Pimp My Ride? Very much like Pimmy Ride. Yeah, he's very much the... exhibit of 1975. Okay. Okay. So him and his friend David

they was, oh I have to say that. So Fred uses the profits of this business, this side hustle, to buy guns and more cars. He's just really obsessed with cars and guns. That's pretty much Fred's only driving force in life.

He's so so relatable. Unlike other people. Unlike other boys. Do you know what I mean? What an individual. He's really breaking out of the box, isn't he? Yeah.

Yeah. David is actually a filmmaker and he's doing this, like flipping the cars in order to try and get his script made. So, but the script he's written is a ransom movie script, which is essentially a rip-off of Dirty Harry. Fred's got two other mates, James and Rick Schoenfeld. They are the sons of a doctor. So they're nowhere near as wealthy as Fred and his family, but pretty,

well off like he's a well-known respected doctor um like wealthy enough for james to be 24 and living off his parents so pretty comfortable however his dad is now refusing to give him any more money which really sucks because james really wants a Ferrari like his other friends because he does like cars do you know what I mean yeah they all like cars they all like cars cars and guns yeah oh this is a this is a different one this is james but then they've really bonded over a love of cars oh so he wasn't unusual he no he's very much yeah yeah yeah um he thinks if he has a Ferrari he'll definitely get a girlfriend which i think is how it works unfortunately yes james's brother rick is uh sort of the opposite of james he's actually a real ladies man um but

he has nothing else going for him like no academic prospects no career he's just like great with the ladies. But he's hot? I guess so. I guess he must be. Okay. Yeah. One day Fred is hanging out with the show and fell brothers and he brings up David's idea for the script to the Dirty Harry school hijack script. He's like, how good would it be if someone actually did that? Like you call in the ransom, get millions of dollars, sit back and count your money. Easy pay day. It's like one day's work and then you never have to work again. Dream. And you will almost definitely be caught. Yeah. And also Fred is filthy rich. Like, his parents are so rich.

They have, like, an enormous estate where they have multiple mansions on this estate that they have to ring each other because they're in their different. It's mad that this even happened. Like, they're all rich kids. It's crazy that they could be bothered to do this. That is insane.

It is mad. And also, you just think, oh, yeah, you could kidnap a bus soda children and no one's going to try and find out who did that. Well, no, they are. That's the thing, because they want people to try and find. That's why you choose children. Yeah, but they're not.

No one's going to try and find out who did it after. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be the biggest police hunt ever. Yeah, exactly. So, the lads spend the next few months figuring out which small towns in Northern California would be the best fit for their plan. They follow school buses and document the routes.

They learn all about the people driving them. They do, to be fair. I think they just needed a project. Yeah. Sounds like they just, like, needed a hobby. They needed like an apprenticeship. Maybe they should have tried being a chef, Brooklyn. Maybe. Maybe that's all that's holding Brooklyn back. Do you know what? Maybe this,

he really knows how to get a hobby. Maybe the photography and the chefing is all just keeping Brooklyn on the straight and narrow. We should be thankful for it. We should. Think how many buses of children who knows how many plans. Right. He had going. There we go. Good for you, Brooklyn. You keep it up. Yeah. Um, so they choose Chow Chow Chila because it's a quiet town comprising of one main street and most of the residents live in farmhouses that are scattered around the area there's no police presence that they can tell right it's like a very sleepy town everybody works like on farms it's very agricultural it's that kind of vibe okay so we're going back to the bus and the kidnappers have now boarded the bus one is driving and the other two are sort of like

keeping guard ed has been forced down to the back of the bus um oh i listened to an interview with uh jennifer brown hide who at the time was nine years old And she said that she was just ranting and raving at the gunman. Like, you're messing with the wrong kids. You wait till my dad hears about this. He's going to go to town on you. A classic. Yeah.

And she was just like running her mouth for like an hour. And the gunmen were like, please stop. Just please give it a rest. And then eventually the other kids were like, yeah, Jennifer, you can like, you can chill out now. It's not going to change anything. We get it. We get it. We get it.

We get it. You get it. Your daddy's rich. Yeah. Yeah. But also, you're nine years old. What are you going to do? They've got guns.

But also the. not shooting them. Not yet. Oh shit, what? Hold on. Okay, so she runs her mouth, eventually she stops walking.

After 12 hours of driving, the bus pulls into a dry riverbed surrounded by a bamboo field. So the bus is sort of like camouflaged by the very tall bamboo. The kidnappers direct everyone off the bus. Two vans then pull up, a white van with no windows

and a green van with no windows. Yes, I remember this. bit the kids are escorted two by two onto the vans inside the vans the walls have been covered with wooden panelling to sort of keep uh so they definitely can't yeah kind of soundproof and so they definitely can't see out it's all it's like a little um coffin i guess it's totally pitch black they set off again the kids huddled together trying desperately to comfort themselves they've no idea how long they've been in the vans um but it's been several hours and this whole time they've got right? I kept thinking that the whole time.

If there was like a more uncomfortable time to get kidnapped, it's just after swimming. And sticky and like, oh, yeah. And they've got a wet, wet towel in their bag. The loud drop is licking my hand right now and I can't, I don't want to be moist. Thank you. That's exactly against what I was saying. Why are you so obsessed with me? What can you smell? Strange. Anyway. Okay, finally. Wet towel.

Yeah, covered in chlorine. There's no way they rinsed off. No. Kids don't shower. No. They're still fully pulled up. Hmm. Yeah.

Finally, they stop and the doors open. The gun... And hungry. Oh my God, I'm so hungry after swimming. That's like the hungriest. Yeah. And now, so they've been driving in the first van for the bus for 12 hours. This is several hours later.

So it's... Twelve hours? Really long. The first didn't, until the bamboo field was 12 hours. Holy shit. Now they've been in the vans for hours now. Oh my God. So they are probably absolutely ravenous.

Okay, finally, they stop and the doors open. The gunman pull the kids out one at a time. Thea grows for the ones left in the van as none of the kids return. So they're leaving the van, not coming back in. Jennifer Brown Hyde, the mouthy one, said that she snuck to the back of the van. She wanted to be like the last one out because she was absolutely terrified that they'd pull her out, hear her voice

and recognise that she was the one mouthing off. She's like, this is going to back fire. Yeah, it's like, oh shit. I didn't even, I pissed up the wrong people. Yeah. I brought too much attention to myself. Yeah.

When she's pulled out of the van, she's asked by one of the gunmen for her age, her name, address and her parents' names. Oh. Because she'd been at the pool that day, she's not wearing much. So she grabbed a t-shirt

that had been left by one of the other kids in the van because the van's got really hot and sticky. Obviously it's like California in June. So sorry, I may have missed this. The 12 hours was in the school bus or the van? The 12 hours in the school bus. They've now done unknown

but multiple hours in the van. Right. So this is... Seems crazy though to do 12 hours in the bus because like they're 100% going to track that bus. So you've traveled so far with that bus which leads them to know that you've traveled far away, whereas if you leave the bus in the local area,

they don't know you've gone so far away. But also this is 1975 and so they wouldn't have had a lot of the, like, cameras and electronic tracking of vehicles that we've got now, so they didn't get caught, like, they didn't get, they weren't being watched. Okay, so she's grabbed a t-shirt that somebody has left behind in the van. and then the kidnappers were taking one item, at least one item from each of the kids so they could use it as identification proof later on.

So immediately she has the T-shirt taken off her. Jennifer has led to a small hole in the ground. There's a ladder poking out of the hole. She climbs down the ladder through a narrow wooden shaft. Then there's a second hole in a sheet of metal. So there's the surface, there's a hole. There's a shaft going down. about three foot wow big shaft yeah yeah impressive shaft hey and then there's a

wooden too and then there's a second hole in a sheet of metal that goes down into a big container right and it's pitch black the container is actually inside the inside of a moving van that Fred James and Rick had buried in the active quarry that Fred's family owned and he spent a winter working at. So, yeah, so idiots, they've chosen the quarry that Fred's family owns, that he has worked at previously. And so they've just borrowed an excavator

and then they put the van, the moving van inside the hole, cut a hole in the roof, build the shaft. Pop the ladder down. Jobs are good then. Must have made them feel very insecure. Yeah. I don't think it's that stupid. I think it's stupid to do it on the plot that your family,

like the quarry that your family earns. Who knows to look into you? Like you have a lot of land. Yeah, but you... No one's going to see you doing it. You've worked. I think having any connection to anything is silly. They often do, though.

If you're thinking of committing a crime. It's often like building sites that they are working on. or like, because that's when you have access to, because, you know, it's going to bring attention burying a moving man. Yeah, of course it's convenient. Yeah. But it's, ultimately it's silly. No, but I guess you're hoping that no one's going to look into you.

Yeah. Because why would they look into him, little rich boy? Well, you'll find out later. Okay. Okay, so she climbs down the ladder, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's in the container. It's pitch black. the floor of the van is covered in mattresses and a couple of like those large plastic containers

almost like um you know those cans that you fill up petrol in yeah like kind of like that but plastic full of water um and then like really pitiful bits of food like um there's like a loaf of bread it's not fruit is it some peanut butter there's no fruit of course there's no fruit Oh no, so that's pitiful. When you turn out, it's just like, oh, there's bananas. Oh, no. No. No, but it's not, like, there's 26 of them, well, 27 with Ed.

Then there's like a loaf of bread. So that's not going to very far. I turned up to my gig last night just with a baguette. Yeah, but did you share that with 26 other people? No, that's true, but Jesus did. Basically. He had magical powers, didn't he? Didn't he make that?

He made that last. It was like a magician's, um, It was a miracle. Let's not... Yeah. Yeah. Carry on. Cool.

Okay. So she is so relieved, though, when she sees the other 25 children and Ed are also in the container. Ed must be freaking out right now. Oh. Imagine being the responsible adult. They are all freaking out. And the only one. Yeah.

Yeah, but like you are responsible for all of these children. Yeah. And he felt really guilty because he was like, this is my fault. Yeah. I like the mom. yeah the feeling of relief doesn't last though because the ladder is quickly pulled up behind her not worth it bus driving don't pay enough certainly not not for this no you don't get danger pay with bus driving no absolutely not okay the kidnappers place a steel plate

and then a sheet of plywood over the first over the opening after the shaft they really could they've committed themselves to something, you know? What do you mean? As in like, had they chosen another project? Right. They really, like, so much effort into it. Yeah, yeah. They just needed, so much effort.

They needed some direction. Like, they should have just gone on like homes under the hammer. Yeah. You know? Flip cars, flip houses. They had potential. And they put it all in the wrong shaft. They just wanted an easy pay.

Also, this doesn't sound like an easy pay day. No, this is like a lot of work. It's more than one day's work. A lot of work. Yeah. Agreed. So steel plate is covered, is placed over it, then a sheet of plywood. And then on top of that, they put two, a hundred pound industrial batteries.

A hundred pounds is 45 kilos. And how are they expecting them to breathe? So they did cut a small hole in the container and, like, dig a little tunnel for the hole. And then they put a fan in the little tunnel. and then attach that to an industrial battery. But that battery only had 48 hours worth of juice in it. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And so, and it's hot. It's so hot. Like, your underground, it's hot. The air outside is hot. It's like, it must have been unbearable. And the fan is so weak that the circulation is, like, it's, the whole thing is awful. So as they place the batteries,

they start to hear a loud creaking noise. The roof of the moving van is now supporting all of the dirt that it's been buried underneath, the plywood, the metal sheet and 90 kilos. How have they not thought that through? Yeah. Well, they had. They had anticipated that it would be a lot of weight

so that what they did was they reinforced the van with bits of wood, but they had never tested the full weight. They'd never put the batteries on top, so they actually had no idea whether or not it was going to hold and it didn't the roof caves into like a V shape

Oh my God into a V shape where the batteries are now And surely that's just going to keep caving once it's gone Well it caves initially And then it does sort of hold Thank God

Otherwise this would not be a survival story The centre of the roost in the V shape and now dirt is sort of dropping down onto the kids the floor is covered in dirt it's a mess Ed was given a torch by the kidnappers and he shines it onto the roof to sort of assess the damage

it doesn't look great but the creaking has stopped he looks around to take stock of what he's working with what they've left him with and everything is now covered in dirt the wheel arches of the van have they've drilled holes

into the wheel arches so that they can use it as toilets which is so gross and that detail really bothers me it's so horrible I mean it's actually quite smart but it's thought of toilets

yeah it is yes but it's also I thought it'd be like a shit in the corner situation yeah they could to be fair this is a real like fire festival really yes but also this shit has got nowhere to go it's still essentially in the van it's just very slightly outside of the van

of the van and apparently they did like the kids did they were in there for a while the and the smell was unbearable oh my god and it's hot as well yeah all the chlorine in the world isn't covering that smell no no um so they have one torch with two extra batteries they also have a candle but no lighter all matches great the only way out is the way that they came in so back to the kidnappers they hear the noise of the roof collapsing but they sort of shrug it off and place the final piece of plywood over the top of the entrance. So obviously, so if you remember at the... So for them they like, oh, they could have all just died. Yeah. We could have all just crushed them all. Yeah. Oh, well, let's put

a bit more weight on. So they put the plywood over the top where the surface is and then they put more dirt on top of that. Fucking hell. To sort of disguise the entrance. I take it back. They have zero potential. Yeah. Oh, they fuck this up in every way. well good but yeah so the kids and ed have officially been buried alive at this point oh my god what are you doing in this situation what do you think um i'm lying down and curling up into a little ball cool me too yeah yeah this is where i die yeah i die now i die now yeah in the corner away from the wheel archers no i think i would be like if i sleep it'll go quicker That's my.

It'll go quicker as in... As in just like time. Right. Like, it's better than just like sitting and feeling every minute. Yeah. You are surrounded by crying children. Yeah, I didn't, I never said it was going to be easy. But like, having eaten, it's been 12 hours, you probably are knackered.

Oh, definitely. Oh, over 12 hours, sorry. Yeah. You've been crying, it's been an emotional roller coaster. Sorry, what am I meant to do? No, I'm just wondering if you, what your instincts are to do in that. I would try and sleep. Digging around, trying to look for weakness.

or I don't know. No, because I'd be scared if I like touch anything it's going to make it worse. Me too. Me too. Yeah, I think I would do the same thing. Thankfully, Ed does not. Okay. He stretches up onto his tiptoes to like try and reach for the metal plate that's covering the hole. But I'd be terrified like Earth would come in.

Oh yeah, but what other option of you got? Yeah, no true. Okay, fair. So he pushes against the metal plate that's covering the opening. He can feel though that it's being weighed down by something very heavy. He can't move. it at all. And the torches started to flicker. Oh no. Yeah. So he warns the kids that he's going to have to turn it off to conserve the battery. And they should all have a little sleep. See? Yeah. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Mike Marshall, who is the oldest of the children at 14 years old. Whoa. Yes. Why are there such a range of ages? Because it's summer school. And so it's like for a lot of that's why they were swimming because it's a lot it's more like it's not really well

obviously there's a mix of kids who need extra tuition um and then kids who whose parents work and so it's more of like a summer scheme like keep them busy they do arts and crafts and like go swimming and have days out 14 well he might have been there for the extra i don't know i don't know why he was there but also his parents might i don't know i don't know what the what else however I feel so bad for my so he actually wasn't ever supposed to be on the bus because usually he gets a lift from his mum but the night before he'd been caught sneaking beers out with his friends yeah and so oh but mum's gonna feel fucking awful so as punishment his mom was like you can get the bus home which ended up obviously being the punishment she did not expect

but no yeah he was not sneaking beers after that she was like you're going to have son of birds were the kid who may have peed at themselves that was that was as far as the punishment went yeah i did hate the school bus though my school bus was horrible people would have food fights people would set fire to the seats yeah i literally sat under the seat because that's how you got some peace you sat under the seat i like sat in the like footwell yeah oh my god i hated the school bus where did you go to school um new break did you yeah oh i didn't know that um in newberry they're setting fire to the seats newbie is so newbie's wild really um that's really surprising i learned to drive quick yeah yeah yeah you've got to when you live in the

yeah yeah yeah yeah good okay that's covered wow i really have so many questions about your school bus experience um you sat under sorry i should be my i have pictures of it if you was you sat under the see not like in the footwell because otherwise you'd get hit by like food and the stuff yeah to be fair my bus was like that we've got some water fights and stuff yeah it's gross yeah i hate that bus okay so mike um is obviously very determined to he also feels quite responsible because he's the oldest kid there so he feels like it's up to him and ed really to like get these guys out yeah so he starts to examine the hole in the roof and wonders whether if they could just get closer to it would they have a better chance of forcing it open?

He drags a mattress over and then stands on it. He's a little bit closer. That's great. And then he looks around and realizes there are enough mattresses to pile up. Oh, amazing. And get them close enough to the hole to give it a real push. Oh, that's cool. So it's now Friday the 16th of July.

They've been buried for seven hours. Mike. Oh, buried for seven hours. Yeah. Mike and Ed have piled up the mattresses. and Mike is ready to push against the steel plate covering the entrance hole. He tries his hardest but it won't move and Ed's like step aside. Yeah, like, yeah.

Let's have the big man do it. Yeah, yeah. The fully formed body. Yeah, but I think because the mattresses were quite unstable, it made more sense to have Mike who was smaller. Yeah, and so Ed sort of like assesses the stability of the, of the mattress tower. and then it's like like it climbs up and he steadies himself and he pushes up with all the strength he can muster but the plate just doesn't move the children cheer him on oh he tries again

and the plate moves slightly okay Mike cries out that he can probably get his arm through the gap so Ed pushes once more this time he gets the plate high enough in the air that Mike can get his arm through and feel around to try and figure out what weight what I would imagine if it fell back down his arm no yeah is that what happened no okay so he's feeling around to see what's weighing down the plate um and he's like it feels like a box and then he's like oh no there are two boxes um but he obviously doesn't know that they're industrial batteries so they're directly right sorry there's layers yeah so they're on top so yes there's layers yeah um ed warns him that he's going to drop the plate and so Mike pulls his arm through yeah good just before um now they know what they're

dealing with uh but the problem is is that the shaft is so narrow that even if Mike can like push the batteries around there's nowhere for them to go like you can't push them off the plate because there's no room oh no yeah ed thinks what if he's able to push up the plate on one side forcing the other side down and then they can slide the batteries into the like one of those plugs

I spent the night in a travel lodge and the plug was like closed but then you could push it and it would go yes exactly like that it would like flip over yeah yeah so you're there yes exactly and then they can then Mike can slide the batteries into the

van instead of trying to push it to the side bring it inside well presumably it would fall on the mattress or them so but yeah it might bounce off the mattress it might take a child out yeah this is a very like precarious position so he steadies himself again and pushes up on the plate mike reaches up through the gap and if ed drops it now mike will almost certainly lose his arm mike manages though to get hold of the first battery and slide it down down through the gap. Wow. Ed keeps pushing and the second battery...

How does this battery again? £100, so 45 kilos. With one arm? Yeah, but he's got gravity working with him because it's going down. So he just needs to really... All he needs to do is sort of guide it, I think. So he manages to grab all of the first one

and slide it down and then the second one just follows. It comes down. Yeah. The hatch is now open. Wow. So they're all looking up at it. Oh my God. The hatch is open and they expect to see sunlight.

No. No sunlight. So they don't know how deep they are. Well no, because they came in. Yeah, but they don't know. Because the first hole they assume is still open. Right. They don't realize the second hole.

So they're like, yay, we're free. And then they realize, oh no, we're not. What a horrible moment. Yeah. So Ed climbs up the shaft and sees their. is another blockage between them and the outside world. He pushes on it, but again, it won't budge. He comes back down into the van, absolutely gutted.

Oh, my God. Mike climbs up and has a feel around, and he starts picking at the edges of the plywood that's covering the exit. So he feels around, finds the edges, and then just starts, like, digging away. Because now there's, like, lots of dirt. This is the opening that they have dug through,

so it's all dirt around them. And then obviously the wooden shaft that they've built. So he's trying to find any cracks in the corners to try and, if they can dig it away enough, they can maybe dislodge the plywood and then dig their way out. Okay. So the plywood isn't that big, probably. The plywood is the size of the opening.

Oh, right. I was expecting like a big rectangle slab. of plywood I think it's not yeah I think because they managed to get to the corner so it can't be bigger than the opening

but it has also don't forget been like they've put soil and stuff over the top of it it's buried oh so now introduce 10 year old Bob Gonzalez and the idea of a 10 year old Bob

is love it incredible 10 year old Bob love him Bob Gonzalez he goes up to help Mike and they scratch and dig at the dirt around the plywood um trying to make enough of the gap for them to dislodge it the boys are completely

dedicated i can't quite believe but they so they dig and dig and dig for seven hours they dig whoa yeah just them too of them no one thought to help them out just the two of them they dig they're so like determined to get out their hands are all bruised and covered in blood like they're absolutely yeah horrible seven hours and just digging with your bare hands hands oh my god i think that's insane um and then after seven hours they finally see sunlight um mike alert ed who climbs back up the mattress tower and he is like okay boys like move aside i'm gonna oh now he's gonna get us out yeah yeah okay so they but they can they still can't move the plywood so they do need they need the muscle of head so ed comes back he pushes on the plywood but it's

still not moving then he goes fucking mental he just explodes He starts beating the shit out of this piece of plywood Just like punching it Throwing his body against it Like anything he could do He like hulks out on this piece of plywood I'm so attracted to Ed right now It's pretty hot right

That is so hot Yeah so he finally Eventually he manages to get his hand around the edge And he just yanks it down Wow Yeah and the plywood breaks But it's not like a huge He still wouldn't be able to get through

but light is now streaming through into the van which must have just been like for all the kids it must have been such a moment now they have a new problem though because the whole Bob reckons I can get through that hole I can definitely get through that hole but they're worried now that on the other side of the hole is three kidnappers with guns waiting for them

but they probably would have like noticed yeah but still you don't like if you're in the you've no idea do you like you've been in the van you don't know what is on the other side they might have booby trapped it that would be more my concern i think yeah um so mike and ed are nervous as bob climbs sort of halfway out the hole yeah to sort of he's like the little periscope like looking around to see why you're sending a kid first well because he's small and he fits in the hole oh i see yeah um bob tentatively pulls himself up halfway out the hole he looks around but doesn't see anyone and gives the others the all clear

Mike pulls Bob back into the van and gives the plywood one final shove it works the plywood lifts and the kids are free so not too much earth was on this plywood then probably yeah I think well there was enough for it to initially not be also probably a lot of it is dropped down

when after Mike went mental so Mike Bob and Ed Ed went mental Ed went mental, sorry. But yeah, Mike gives... You knew you made it sound like I was attracted to a 14-year-old boy, Julia. God forbid.

No, Mike... Ed goes mental, Mike gives the final shove that frees the plywood. Nice of Ed to give that turn. Yeah. So Mike, Bob and Ed guide the kids out of the van and into the opener. They move quickly, terrified the kidnappers will spot them.

They're on a working quarry. So there are people working... No, wow. Yeah. And one guy's like, I heard what I thought was children, but I was like, that's mental. Why would there be children here? That makes no sense. And so he just disregards it. And then he's like, and then I carry on working. And then I hear it again. And I was like, that's twice. Like, that must be. So he's like, so I sound the alarm. And then all the workers from all over the quarry like come out and see this group of dirty children just like trudging along with Ed. Oh my God. Uh, looking absolutely fucked. Like, they're just... Yeah, a working quarry, now you say it.

Nackid. Stupid place. So stupid. An abandoned quarry, sure. In my head it was abandoned. No, this is a, an active quarry. Wow. Have you seen, um, I've watched a lot of telly recently.

Okay. Have you seen, uh, Dear Child on Netflix? No. Oh my God, watch it. It's so good. Annoyingly, it's dubbed. Oh. So, but you get over it.

What's it about? Um, it's about, um, it's about, a how do I do it without like giving it away but it's about a woman who was kidnapped and she's been put in a room by this guy with um and there's two children as well and they're found on like an abandoned kind of uh I think military base or something that's where he's been keeping them which that's so in my head it was like that where it's like through work you kind of know of this area is not used. I did not think

working. People were going there day to day. Digging up holes. Could just dig up the van. Maybe. Insane. So the workers are all like, holy shit. Because also this has been all over the news. So they're like, oh,

there's 26 children and an adult. Aren't there 26 children and that adult missing? Looks like a school bus is missing. Yes, exactly. And so immediately they know what's going on. They call the police. They also, which I thought was really sweet. Oh, as in they knew that they were missing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's all over the news. Right. Oh, my God. So they're like, oh, what are you doing in this quarry? Oh, my God. Imagine, imagine finding that. What's really sweet is that they all got their lunch boxes out and were like handing them like sandwiches and apples.

I thought you meant the kids. No, they have their lunch boxes the whole time. The workers. And then one guy breaks it like crowbars into a vending machine and just starts handing them out like cans of fizzy drink yeah so cute and one and the and Jennifer was like I'd never had fizzy like my mom wouldn't let me have it so I was absolutely buzzing um which is very sweet not not the time to bring on the anxiety to be honest yeah imagine the sugar higher from that oh my god so the police are called and the kids are taken to a local prison to be checked over and there's

footage of them like in prison gear like in outfits and and they're like we had to like roll up the sleeves like 20 times oh my god yeah it looks very weird it's like a bunch of like little juvenile delinquents it's so strange um they get checked over by the doctors and the police and talk to them and then they're they're satisfied and everything and then they stick them on a greyhound bus it's like did we have to put them on another bus do you have to do the bus another bus really like can we just like get them an uber yeah can we any of any other former transport jinks padlock no return well that's going to be difficult yeah the podcast is over oh dear so at 3 a.m they are delivered back to the school and reunited with their parents

in the meantime fred rick and james have just been chilling what they hadn't even bothered to ask for ransom yet well so it was fred's job to call the police shut fred the worst kidnapper in history so he so after they so for the kidnappers they've heard the the creek carried on putting shit over the top of the hole uh walked away left them like no food job done left them with 48 hours worth of air one to be fair one of them was like oh shit if they we need to change the battery because if if they run out of air they're dying and we're going down for murder and i'm not down for that um and so fred's like yeah yeah i'll go back tomorrow all the day after i'll swap it don't worry about it and he's like please go back today yeah

Please go back ASAP. Anyway, Fred goes home, has dinner with his family, has a little nap. And then he finally gets around to calling the police for the ransom. But by the time he gets around to calling the police, the phone lines are completely jammed. Like he cannot get through. Probably because all of the fucking worried parents are like, where's my kid? So he can't get through. He keeps calling, but he can't get through.

So he can't even deliver the. ransom message yeah which i think is so funny um and then the lads are just like hanging out they turn on the tv and see that every channel is reporting on the news of the children escaping and they're like oh fuck um so now they have to activate plan B which is to run away yeah like what the hell is plan B yeah so they have to try now to make it to the Canadian border They think they're just like, I'll be fine in Canada. Canada will welcome us with open arms and we'll be absolutely fine. Famously anti-children, to be honest, Canada.

Yeah, exactly. And like unfriendly. Yeah. Yeah, completely. So Fred, the rich kid, I really, really despise this guy. So he has a fake passport. So they drive to Nevada. He gets on a plane.

He just flies to Canada. Easy. Job done. The other two do not have fake passports. Rick is like, fuck this, drives back to California or back to where he's from and hands himself in. Oh, shit.

Yeah. James, the brother, he drives. He tries to drive to Canada and he gets to the border but then they reject him because the car is full of guns. So full of all of Fred's guns. And so they're like, you cannot come into Canada with loads of guns like stay in America. Thank you.

And so then he like goes and tries to sell the guns. He sells a lot of the guns. Then he comes back to the border. They find four more guns. Why is he trying to sell? Just dump him out of the window, dude. Yeah. Let the guns go.

But it's America. So they will buy it. So he goes to like a sporting goods shop that sells the guns. But he doesn't, he doesn't notice that there are two in the glove box and two in the boot. As we gets back to the border and they're like, man, there's still guns in here. Just dig a hole and bury the gun. You're good at burying stuff. Yeah.

Just throw him out the window. Just ditch the guns. So now he's got no money. he's been rejected twice from the Canadian border and so he turns on the TV he sees that there's a huge manhunt for them and so he's like

okay I'm just gonna go back do the honourable thing hand myself in Is it the honourable thing when it was like oh it's very late it's super late so he well yeah he literally has no other choice

to be fair like he tried everything else first yeah so James then drives back down to California and he is arrested for driving erratically. So he doesn't even get the chance to hand himself in. What a shame. Yeah.

Meanwhile, Fred is hiding out and he writes a letter to his friend David, the filmmaker from the beginning, if you recall, who gave him the idea of the whole kidnapping scheme. Oh, so David was never involved in it. David is just a fan of Dirty Harry. Yeah, a big fan of Dirty Harry. Wow. He wants to be a filmmaker and Fred just took his idea and really ran with it.

Oh, wow. So he writes to David, and he's like, this would make a great movie. This would be also a really good time to have a, I promise not steal your ideas contract. So I would come in. Never thought we'd use that. Yeah.

Please don't enact my ideas into real life. Yeah. At this point, it would have been good if he'd lost the script. Yes, true. So he writes to David and said, Hey, David, this would be, I think my story would make a great movie. Yeah, it's Dirty Harry. he was like yeah exactly it already exists he goes and it follows the good guy not the bad guy yeah he goes

you might have to change the ending maybe kill a few people off because the ending's like kind of boring um but if you want to make it just cut me in like give like give me just like a little kickback from it we're all good uh which i think is so funny and then as he's going to the post office he goes to the post office to send this letter what just like a confession letter yeah good idea yeah and then he turned like as he's at the post office he sent off the letter turn around very smug and then there are police waiting for him oh my god they arrest him so the kidnappers are caught the kids are recovering they're taken to Disneyland in the hopes that it will erase all of their trauma i hope not on a bus probably on a bus probably on a bus um the three the three kidnappers were given life sentences but on appeal were given life with the possibility of parot The Schoenfelds were very well behaved in prison. Rick served 34 years and then was paroled in 2012 at 57 years old.

James served 37 years and was paroled in 2015 at 63. And they just both went home and looked after their mum who was getting older and have never been heard from again. Like they haven't gotten in trouble again or already, you know. Nobody really, they've sort of just gone back. So this seems to be, for them, it does seem to be like a bit of a blip. What a strange thing to do. So strange.

Fred, however. It's a bit of a... Yeah. He was a naughty boy in prison. Shockingly. He ran... So he had loads of money. He had like loads of money because he had a trust fund.

So he just dipped into... He ran businesses. Did his parents not cut him off? Well, they didn't... So they didn't leave the compact. to him they actually left it to like the state I think um but he had a trust fund they had access to that's mad and he ran businesses he ran a gold mine a literal gold mine from prison yeah isn't that insane sounds like he had a great time and he ran like a christmas tree company it sounds like

like lego land it does sound like lego land i was like there's a gold mine yeah there is a gold mine yes Thank you. It's actually the best bit. Yeah. So, yeah, Fred's a naughty boy. He gets in trouble for smuggling mobile phones and porn into prison. Legend. And then after 18 failed probation attempts,

Fred is finally released in 2020. No. After 46 years behind bars. I can't believe he ever got out. And actually, a really sad thing. But one of the survivors, went to every single parole hearing of the 18 parole hearings and gave her speech, I don't think he should go, this is the trauma, this is how my life has gone since he's changed,

you know, I've been through this because of him, it's all his fault, he shouldn't be released. He clearly doesn't care, he's not remorseful, blah, blah, blah. And then she died and then at his next parole hearing, he was granted parole. Yeah, isn't that really sad? Oh, that's so shit. Yeah. Yeah. And she died at like 50 something, 57.

Yeah, really sad. So sad she was the only one. Yeah. To do it as well. Yeah. She was really like... She really took responsibility. Yeah.

Yeah. He was doing so much bad shit in prison. Yeah. I can't believe that he was released. Yeah. He's going to keep being a bad guy. Yeah. Right.

Mike Marshall, our 14-year-old. year old hero he became a rodeo cowboy like his dad which is all he wanted to do really so cool and then a blackjack dealer yeah but in an that's a film i want to see yeah right but then in an interview he did say that he got drunk at 18 and then woke up in his 40s so he's definitely been through yeah a lot um Jennifer Hyde said that it took her decades to be able to sleep without a night light um and that's quite a common thing for a lot of the kids who survived.

Duh. And yeah, she used to have nightmares that the kidnappers would line them up and shoot them. Yeah. Oh, horrid. Ed Ray, the bus driver.

Ed continued to drive his bus for another nine years before retiring. Yeah. Because he also, so he was driving the bus, but he was also, like, had land that he was working.

Like, he also, like, ran a farm. So he would, I don't, I don't know. I was going to say open the farm. I don't know what you do in the morning. Do the morning chores. Ten to the farm. Go and do the morning route for the bus. Come back to the farm, work more on the farm, and then go back and do the afternoon route. Go back to the farm. He was like a very hard worker. Like nobody has got a bad word to say about Ed. But also probably why he was strong enough. Exactly. Yes. So he just sounds amazing. He didn't really like talking about the kidnapping.

No. Well, he probably feels like guilt still. Oh, it'd be horrible. It would be horrible. I feel like that's the worst position. Yeah. If you brought it up to him, he'd sort of change a topic. He did though, when he did, when he retired, he bought the old bus. He bought the school bus and just like left it on his land. Oh my God. Which is like kind of cool, I think. I guess it's cool because he's like, we beat this.

Yeah. And also he drove that bus for like 20, 20 plus years you shouldn't have to buy it no feel like they should just give it to it when you retire yeah like thank you for your service normally you probably don't want to see that bus again thanks for saving all those kids yeah but also yeah like I don't know if they did when um Fred was arrested they did announce a public holiday and he was given like I think I read one thing where it was like he was given some suitcases which is an odd gift a strange gift yeah but A real strange gift.

Really strange. Almost like someone had got suitcases for their birthday and didn't want them. Re-gifted, do you think? Yeah, the mayor was re-gifting. It feels like a real regist. Yeah, thank you so much.

Thank you so much. I heard you have found of suitcases. Maybe you want to take a trip now. Buy a Maria. Yeah, weird. Or a holiday or like... Or like the key to the city. Isn't that like a thing that people do?

I don't know. Sure. So, that is the story. Wow. Of the kidnapping of 26, children and their bus driver ed ray wow wow we there is there is a lot to that sort of like i encourage people to go and like yeah i vaguely know of that but i didn't know how they got out what goes in the survival talk yeah because it was a lot of like hands and but oh yeah

mattress yeah i would say though it wasn't one mattress you need multiple mattresses i think a tower of matches would be quite nice it would be lovely. Yeah. Is that? Are we allowed that? Can we put that in the survival? I mean, Neil's nodding.

Neil's nodding. I think we're having a tower of mattresses. I don't know how we're going to put that on the shelf. This feels very Princess and the P. Right. Slash. I've always wanted to go downstairs on a mattress. Oh, like a sledge.

Yeah. Okay. I do love a mattress. Well, you can take your pick of mattresses now. This is a lot of fun. I'd love a tower of mattresses. Okay. I think there's a lot of fun if we had with a tower of mattresses.

For sure. Well, there you go. done Are you ready kids Ready? No, it's I-I Captain Oh, what is this for? SpongeBob

Oh You disappoint me every day Okay Cool Good Are you ready for a listener story Yes Captain

What was it? Aye, aye. Are you ready, kids? Birds are. No. Just never mind. Look, let's just get through this and terminate the friendship then.

Okay. Wow, that's all it took. I'm the one on the end. Okay. Hi, all. That was, whoa. You can't. That was way too enthusiastic.

Let's do a little jazzy. Hi, all. Oh, God. For what extreme. Love the podcast. I don't like this at all. I've listened to most episodes twice. Oh, God.

Though you're both great storytellers. Margarita is really taking the fact. I did not have lunch. Um, should they carry on? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Hi, all, love the podcast.

I've listened to the most, I've listened to most episodes twice, though you're both great storytellers. Don't like the the. Yeah. Why is it though? Though you're both storytellers, if you could stop interrupting the other one, that would be great. Yeah, this really doesn't mean. Okay, anyway, though you're both great storytellers, storytellers, and I love catching Neil's laughs and comments from the background,

and I always sing to the theme song. So there's no but. Oh, okay. So though was worrying me for no reason there. Yeah, I really don't understand the though, there. Oh, thank God for that. Emma, if you could explain the Zite, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Oh, no.

Oh, Jesus. Someone get me a prep. Unless somebody who read these before us have taken out the, though, to protect our egos, perhaps. No, the though is that? Yeah, but it has taken out the... Oh, you are this.

I see. I really hate it when you do this. Anyway, Emma, let's know it feels passive-aggressive. I have a short story from when I was around 14. I was on holiday in Portugal with my family and family friends, their kids, etc. During a beach day, the mums and smaller kids stayed on the beach, but the dads and older kids, that was me, she didn't mind that,

all decided to take a walk up the cliffs overlooking the beach slash sea. The cliffs must have been around 25-30 feet high. There were some locals nearby who were cliff jumping into the sea, and some of our group decided to have a go. Why not? Not something to just happen. Why not? Like, that should be an intensely planned.

What's 30 feet? Do we know for sure there are no rocks underneath here? Yeah, like, is this? Where is the designated area to jump from? Yeah. And is there someone I can blame if it goes wrong? Yeah. Anyway, have a go.

The key was to run and jump, so you landed a few feet out into the deeper sea water. It does sound simple, doesn't it? It does sound very simple. Love that. There's an area. where you shouldn't be landing. That is the key. Avoid dying, that's the key.

Yeah, the dads. I love just the dads. Yeah. The dads and brave friends all jumped no problem. Then it was down to me. I was very scared. It seemed very high to me, but I didn't want to be the only shadow

who didn't jump. Relate, FOMO. Pressure. I've been pressured into so many things. That sounds bad. Anyway, it took me ages, stood next to the cliff whilst my dad and others were in the water below looking up and shouting encouragement.

I finally made the plunge, pun intended. Very good. However, instead of taking a running jump or even jumping outwards, I simply stepped off because I was so nervous. When I came back up to the surface, almost everyone in the water and on the cliffs were looking at me with a shocked look. Apparently, I missed landing on the rocks at the bottom of the cliff by inches.

Awful. I would have absolutely broken my legs or worse had I been any closer. I fact that not you Emma.

We all swam back to the beach. Luckily my mum never found out and we, Brackett's I have not cliff jumped since. Brackett's dad

absolutely shat himself and I was like dad did not want to it we're not telling we are not telling mum we are not telling mum that I encouraged you to jump off a cliff.

It's like when a toddler falls over and the parents are like hey it's fine we're all happy you're fine we're fine you're fine you're jumping well done we definitely didn't all shit ourselves up here I think you're you're okay yeah thanks Emma okay okay next one hello from Australia good day good day good day mate love in the pod I've listened to every episode so far you can't wait for more you know what that wasn't terrible Actually, you should put Australian above any other axon that you have on your spotlight currently because I've heard you do a fair few other accents and they are dreadful.

I think I'm getting better. Do you think so? I think so. Yeah. I've heard you're American and that is. What do you mean? Dyer. I think my American is very good.

That was okay. You just said fine. That was fine. That was fine. Fine. Okay. Okay. Here's my story.

bracket sorry if it's long what where's the accent gone I'm not doing it for the whole thing I refuse to do it for the whole thing because it will one word will throw me off and then then you'll take back the compliment okay fine I'm leaving I'm leaving it on a win I'm leaving it on a win okay fine it's not fair you literally live with an Australian okay and I still can't do it all I can say is far out that's it that really all you can do yeah can't even say like, no, I don't know. Okay. Um, whatever you were going to say, no. I'm respecting boundaries. I'm respecting boundaries. Okay, here's my story, bracket, sorry if it's long. I'm not a concise girlie. Hmm. I'm not a concise girlie. See? Oh, she lost it. I edit out. Okay.

Just girlies fun. Okay. When I was little, my parents were on the brink of divorce and figured, hey, let's go on a big family holiday to America. That'll fix it. Maybe that will help the marriage. Yeah, for sure. Brackett spoilers, it did not. That is what they say though for marriages on the rocks. My parents at the time. Anyway, we were in a big shopping mall in New Orleans when I needed the toilet. Mum took me while my dad stayed with my brother. On the way out of the bathroom, four-year-old me noticed the beautiful shiny smooth door hinges on the heavy closing door And decided I needed to touch them To feel how smooth they were

My mum turned and noticed just a second too late As I stuck my fingers in the hinges of the heavy door Right as it closed on top of my right ring finger Children are such idiots They should not be allowed to go out of the house Until they're like teenagers What like kittens and puppies where like you have to like keep them inside Yeah exactly like keep them in the soft play

Soft play is fine. Stick them all in a big soft play area until they are able to not look at a... I think the right child can even make soft play dangerous. Yeah, probably, but I mean... What are you going to publicly say for podcast, really?

Are we going to public go on? I mean, if you can fuck up soft play, maybe there's an argument. I'm not going to help you. You have to do this on your own. Yeah, maybe that's... Maybe this world is not for you. Maybe it's tough. Maybe it's tough out there.

And if you can... Maybe the child should die. That's what you want to say, isn't it? Maybe. Maybe. Maybe we thin out the herd a bit. Right. Fucking Darwin.

Right. So what was... So what was... So, mum's time to notice. Door is closed. Chopping a good couple of centimetres almost all the way off. Think nearly.

Nearly headless nick, but it's my finger. Who's headless neck? Nearly headless neck. Do you know a headless neck? Is that a Harry Potter thing? Oh, maybe. I don't know Harry Potter. I don't either do I.

Is it Harry Potter? We've just lost a lot of people. He's a ghost. Adam knows. Good. We've got a resident potter head in the room. People are not going to like that. Uh-oh.

Oh, yeah. We'll just add it out. Oh, nearly Henderson. Yeah. He is my favorite. Wizard? That guy who is ghost. Whiz. Ghost. Ghost of a wizard? Just a ghost. How did he nearly lose his head? Oh, cool. That's a fun party trick. That does make sense for reference. So her finger is on a hinge. On a hinge itself. How ironic. She was such a fan of hinges. That's disgusting. I hate that. I feel like there always needs to be like at least one Harry Potter person. On a podcast. I don't think so.

I feel it's like in a really, it's really, okay, anyway. Strongly disagree. Well, fair. Look at us pushing boundaries. I was walking through, last time I was here, I had to go, um, to Oxford Circus. And there's a, do you know, there's a Harry Potter shop on Tottenham Court Road? No. But there's the thing at Kings Cross.

What has happened? Yeah, fine. I kind of get that because it's like Kings Cross is in the books. But like, there's actual, there's a Harry Potter, there's a shop where you can buy. shit that is my housemate was excited that one of her friends had just become a tour guide at harry potter one she was like oh my god now we can go for free yay i was like are you going to no i was like i wouldn't go if you paid me this is why are you telling me this is like this is good news it's nothing to me i hope that somebody from harry potter world listens to this and then

gets makes you do a paid sponsorship she literally she literally told me it like one of her friends like was Florence Pugh? What did you mean? As in like, she was like, you'll never guess who I know. Yeah. Like I have such a big contact. You're going to lose your mind.

My friend was just cast in the next Marvel movie was the energy she brought to the room. Yeah, and instead. Tour guide at Harry Potter World. We've got a hookup. She said, the tour guide. I was like, just one?

There's just one tour guide. Head tour guide. To me that, that is. that is an achievement if there was only one is it an achievement yes but i don't think there is only one's part so she's the one that she knows she's the one that she knows yeah that's um how's the trip to harry potter world yeah i do think the other two are going to go wow you're missing out no foam over oh it just means nothing to me yeah same i'm like she has a friend who works it strictly i'm like where the fucking why aren't you hooking me up with that one oh really

she's the daughter of date March I don't know who that is I don't watch Strictly This is why we work Abby If we were the same it would be so boring No this is a step too much That's my greatest portion in life

Okay Do you know what if Strictly was only tap dancing I would watch it Really? I love my TikTok I rarely go on it but my TikTok is exclusively fit men tap dancing. That's so rude from you.

Yeah, I know. But like, don't you get in stately, you get to dance with the fit men? Like, up close and personal and sexy. They're doing all other dance. I'm not bothered about the other dances. I just like the tap dancing. When you're on it, I'll watch it, probably.

Oh, my God, thank you for manifesting that for me. Don't laugh like that, Neil. Fuck off. Neil just, in your own story, like, that was the most... Neil just spat out his dressing. Of anything that could ever happen. It's my life goal

The amount you talk about it It's all I want I feel like it's got to happen It's the only reason I became a comedian I was like well I won't get on it as an actor will I can't sing so Comedian is my only option Because that takes no talent whatsoever

No No work Like barely any years Working for nothing Literally I've breezed through it Yeah, they just welcome you on to Strictly. It hasn't affected my mental health at all. No.

Easiest route. Yeah. Okay. So, hang on, I've just messaged Vernon K. Oh. Who's asked Tess, and Tess has replied who? So, why did you go via her husband? Not a big comedy fan.

That felt misogynistic, actually. We can talk to Tess down at that. Because also, Neil probably does know Vernon K. Yeah. He does. And if Tass picks the people that, I know Dave are. his daughter's friend so who is the real contacts here Neil you just you wait you watch right oh so sorry Becky she's not she's not the rest is a blur oh wait no I've skipped

sorry headless Nick nearly headless Nick think headless think nearly headless Nick but it's my finger. My mum screamed for my dad to come help and I just remember lots of blood and paper towels happening. Paper towel, paper towel fix everything. Blue towel especially. Yeah, stick some blue towel on it. The rest is a blur. The doctors try to give me a local anesthetic. In America as well. Think of the bill. Oh no. They get what this is costing. Oh, this is my children. Don't take children on holiday. Leave them at home. They do not deserve it. They don't deserve it. They don't deserve it. Europe. Four years up.

England, actually. Only England has in the NHS, right? Keep them home. Locked up. Put him in a school bus. Put them underground. Right? These lads had, had, yeah.

So they tried to give her a local anesthetic. I cannot say that injection in my finger, but it hurts. So I pulled the needle back out. Stop talking. What is this girl doing? I have to talk. It's a podcast. They then had to wrap me in bed sheets tightly for the rest of the time.

Bed sheets, how big was her thumb? No, no, wrap her, wrap her, all of her. Oh, they had to rest of her. In bed sheets tightly for the rest of the time, so I would stop interfering while trying to reattach my finger. In my defence. Like a straight jacket. Yeah.

Oh wow. They like, have you seen that guy who like burritos his cat on TikTok? No, obviously not. He like gets layers of blankets and he does like a theme. So he'll do like a pumpkin spice latte. So it'll be like a brown blanket. an orange blanket and a cream blanket and then he lies the cat in it

and then he just rolls on the cat out and then the cat just like chills in a little bundle of blankets TikTok makes no sense to me it's so strange it's such a strange place um okay so she's restrained they restrained the four year old

yeah it is what is the word for that when you like put someone in blankets swaddle thank you Neil she's been swaddled I'd love to be swaddled. You've got a weighted blanket on here. I've been so close as you're getting to swaddled.

Yeah. So she's being swaddled. In my defence, it really hard. My poor mum was beside herself, but she had to wait outside to look after my six-year-old brother and she told her jokes to try and cheer her up. Oh, cute. Nice.

Mom's like, we're going to have to fucking remortgage the house to pay for this thing. And he's like, knock, knock. Yeah. Sorry, the kid's not American. Thankfully, they reattached my finger with no issues, and the rest of the trip still went ahead. We have photos of me posing with Ariel at Disneyland with my big bandaged hand.

She's so lucky. They took her to Disneyland after that. Of course they bloody took her to Disneyland after that. She nearly lost a finger. Yeah, of her own fault. Come on. Making memories. All right, very pleased to her.

Heron Ariel, the worst part of the ordeal was that we had a pool at one of the hotels but it wasn't allowed to get my hand wet. That would suck. That's the best. Yeah, that would suck. So I had to just... Also, I think of the town lines.

So the one time I went to Disneyland, I was only like three. Too young to do anything at Disneyland. But there was a pool where we were staying and like, I wouldn't even go into the park. I'd just be like... Just sit in the pool. I just spent the whole day in the pool.

I loved that pool. Did that mean the rest of the family didn't get to go in the park either or did they just leave me in the pool? No, they left because my grandparents were there. Oh, okay. There was a lot of just leave Abby behind in the pool to do her synchronized swimming show.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Synchronized with yourself. Myself. It's very easy. It's crazy how unsink we are. So, yeah, she just had to sit on the edge in her undies with my hand in a plastic bag while my brother got to splash around

having more fun than make. Not quite the relaxing family holiday my parents had hoped for, but there you go. What are you going to do? Now I have a cool scar and my parents have been happily divorced for nearly two decades. Happily ever after. Thanks ladies. Becky. Thanks Becky. Pronounce Becky.

Spelt B-E-C-K-E. Oh, yeah, fun. Becky Becky Well, pronounce Becky Fairly Becky

Okay Wow What a What a journey I need to eat some food Yeah If you've got a Worst case scenario

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