Worst Case Scenario with Abi Clarke and Julia Stenton - Day 22 - Ashley Wallace

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Ashley Wallace wakes up in a hospital bed. As she wakes she sees police by her bedside and they soon accuse her of not one murder, but multiple murders. Ashely's sister Bree had found a note in which ...Ashley confesses to the killings of her father and stepfather, the problem is... Ashley did not write this letter. What happened next? Listen as Abi takes Julia on a rollercoaster of a story proving Ashley's innocence. Send in your own worst case scenario to help@wcspod.com and please follow the podcast on Instagram @wcspod for video extras.Theme tune by the brilliant Crizards who can be found on Instagram @crizards Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 ACAS powers the world's best podcasts. Here's the show that we recommend. On a new season of Heaven Bent, son of a prophet. My name is Jedediah Hartley. My name is very specific. He named me based off of a prophetic dream that he had. My very identity is tied to my father, who my father is. who he was, he couldn't just be a liar.
Starting point is 00:00:34 Listen to Season 8 of Heaven Bent, wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. acast.com Get attacked by an angry shock, stuck up a mountain in the dark, pushed up the top of a big landmark, hit by lightning in your local park, Gordon a downpour of acid rain Struck by meteorola train A proton beam passing through your brain
Starting point is 00:01:06 Attacked by that angry shark again Hear how they survive Trappled by a herd of buffalo Chaste with an axe by your new friend Joe Bering alive in a pile of snow The worst case scenario Like I feel like I have a 50-yard star you do look kind of glazed
Starting point is 00:01:32 yeah I feel glazed hi welcome oh is it started is that what we're going with I mean there's nothing out of the ordinary is it hello welcome to worst case scenario
Starting point is 00:01:47 this is the podcast where we tell each other stories of where people survive the worst case scenario I feel like Abby is living one right now we also create It could be naked. Didn't realize that was an option.
Starting point is 00:02:03 It's always an option, Julia. Yes. What else do we do? Do you want to? No, absolutely not. I'd rather die. It would help the clips. I'd rather die. I mean, feel free. Don't let me stop you.
Starting point is 00:02:17 I literally couldn't think of anything worse. Anyway, we tell each other survival stories and then we pick an object from that survival story to create a survival toolkit it for every possible worst case scenario. Yes. And then we do some of your stories at the end as well
Starting point is 00:02:36 of just your... Yeah. Worst case scenarios. I'm saying worst case scenario too much. Do you have, whenever someone says now worst case scenario just in life, I'm like... I cannot not hear it now.
Starting point is 00:02:49 And I've got to the point where I feel like they're saying it on purpose. Yeah. I'm like... They're definitely not. They're definitely not. But I always think like, oh, are you...
Starting point is 00:02:58 It's like, oh, oh. That's not like an established saying or that's the Dalai Lama gosh. So if you're new here, we're entirely self-obsessed. I would say we have not, we have not had a review in a while. Okay. And I do check daily. Abby needs some endorphins. So if you could.
Starting point is 00:03:19 If you want to pet me up just a little bit, we'd love a review, a rate, follow, find someone that I'm at WCS pod. Yeah. See if Julia does get naked. It's always possibility. You never know. I do know and it won't. Yeah, but we wouldn't ever tell them
Starting point is 00:03:37 because they have to go to the page to see. Yes. You know? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Maybe. Always a maybe.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Loud drop. Is naked? He's had another haircut. It's sad. You know what? I like it. It's better than last time, but is that hard? Is that difficult?
Starting point is 00:03:54 He's very excitable today. And I think it's because he's lighter. Yeah. I had I What have you survived What's happened to you I heard three run-ins with the police yesterday Fucking hell
Starting point is 00:04:07 What? Yeah This is like a full true crime episode I'm doing a true crime story They finally found me What do they get you for? I made it so difficult for them to find me With my entirely public Instagram
Starting point is 00:04:17 First off And I am sorry this will be triggering Trigger warning There was a child On the train Who brought down the train table. Yeah, that's the end of that sentence, table.
Starting point is 00:04:32 And poured all of his food out of the packets just straight onto that table. Gross. Gross. No, no wipe down. No, like, open the packet out like a plane. Just, like, poured a whole packet of crisps. How old is this child? Whole packet Harrybows. Two chocolate bars, got them out the packet,
Starting point is 00:04:51 broke them up, put them on the table, made a kind of like platter where he sorted all the Harrybows into colour. I rate this kid now. Oh, artistically, stunning. I thought this is... Hygienically horrific. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:04 So I posted it did that on my Instagram. The British Transport Police messaged me being like, this should be considered a crime. But I'm so sorry, it's not and we can't do anything about it. And I was like, I never asked you to you. I was thinking, did you post a picture of the kid?
Starting point is 00:05:21 Oh, no. Are you now being done for some kind of dodgy? No, no, they were. totally on my side. Should I find it? See if they said anything funny. So wait, so when you say the police...
Starting point is 00:05:34 Look, there's still two more interactions to go, Julia. Are we counting them as the police? They're the British Transport Police. They're verified. They've got a blue tick. Wow, okay. They said, we can confirm this is absolutely criminal. You can text us on 6106...
Starting point is 00:05:47 No, 61016 to report anything that makes you uncomfortable. Well, almost anything. Well, almost anything. But sadly, not this. Although, we wish you could. Safe travels, peace sign. Wow.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Peace out. British Transport Police. Very nice. From the police. So, sorry, what hot content are the British Transport Police putting out into the world? I didn't actually go look at the page. Oh, okay. I'll do that after.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Right. Let's carry on. Sorry, so that was number one. That's number one. So then I get off the train. Actually, quite a positive interaction. Oh, a great interaction. Okay, good.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Then I get to York. Yeah. It's a very miserable vibe. It's raining. And I'm walking. down the street to my hotel with Hugh Davies
Starting point is 00:06:32 male comedian and we come across a woman who is like falling into the road can't stand up right like very very intoxicated
Starting point is 00:06:45 can't like walk three steps but it's like falling into the road and we're like that is so dangerous and then she was like with two other people so we were like everything okay do we need to like call someone
Starting point is 00:06:57 and then her friends were like yes call an ambulance please whoa and I was like fuck I've actually never typed 999 before like I've never done that and they were like also she's been hit she had a huge black eye but yeah so then I'm calling 999 I'm being like look here's the situation they're asking me so many questions they're also being like you need to keep her at the scene and I'm like she's drunk she wants to walk like we cannot physically yeah keep her there they were like am Ambulance won't be there for an hour. And I was like, we cannot keep this woman here for an hour.
Starting point is 00:07:32 So they were like, all we can do is that the local police kind of know. And by this time, she'd, like, she'd walked off. There was, like, some more members of the public got involved. Some men kind of were, like, trying to get her to sit down. And her friends are there? Well, her friends were also drunk. Oh, okay. Like, carrying, like, an empty bottle of wine.
Starting point is 00:07:51 And they... Keep that with you. They were trying to help. And then when she kept refusing help, they were like, fine, fuck you. and they left. Yeah. Anyway, we couldn't, like, keep her, so we had to let her go.
Starting point is 00:08:02 So then we go to the travel lodge. There's no booking for me. Just, no, you're not on. Did you book it? No, it's under the, like, bookers. Right, for the gig. For the gig, the, like, bookers production company. It's under the production company.
Starting point is 00:08:19 Everyone's on there but me. I was like, I can name you all the other people on the bill. I was like, Laura Lex is on there, and her Christmas is on there and they were like, yep, yep, you're not. So then I ring the production company being like, look, there's no hotel room and he's like, okay, I'll ring the person who booked it,
Starting point is 00:08:34 I'll ring you back. I was like, cool, put the phone down, wait. Then I get another call from an unknown number. I pick it up. They're like, hi, this is Yorkshire police? And they're like, is this, Abby? You rang the ambulance earlier about this woman. Can you describe her?
Starting point is 00:08:49 Yeah. So then I give like an in-depth description of this woman. Yeah. And let me tell you, it is on point. I bet. tries to like intervene with his descriptions of the woman entirely wrong honestly men should not be allowed as witnesses okay they were like what color were her clothes i was like okay so she had gray tight tracts seat bottoms because that's different tight track seat bottoms a double white stripe down the
Starting point is 00:09:11 down the side white trainers like tracts bottom a little bit like rolled up she had a gray sweatshirt and a dark gray he was like it was a black fleece i was like it was dark gray don't intervene and then he was like it was a blue handbag i was like it was all coordinated they're just different shades anyway um and then like we were trying to guess her age he went really old i went i just i just don't think men should be allowed in court is was my point of view from this no male witnesses allowed yeah like they he couldn't describe the kind of hair color she had or the hair style he was terrible at it yeah um but i gave a very in-depth they were like this is actually way more information than we ever care they were like this is
Starting point is 00:09:55 This is so detailed. We are, we're gonna smash this, thank you so much. We got her full name. This is where you being judgmental of people's appearance. Oh, I took it all in. And finally, the photographic memory is like really good and not just like a curse that I cannot stop overthinking. You should be a vigilante like Batman,
Starting point is 00:10:13 but you're just observing all the crimes. Yeah. You can report on them later. Yeah, I even, I was like, she left her hand back at this address because she left it behind, like on the doorstep. I was like, so it's on the doorstep of this address. this a business you'll probably find like her default tells in there they were like wow wow so I was like smash that two police interactions in a day what yeah um but then as I'm trying to like book
Starting point is 00:10:36 so I have to like ring a number to book a hotel room I can't just do it over the desk what century are we living in yeah anyway um so I'm over on the sofa how are you now having to book this hotel yeah so I now have to book it and they're going to reimburse me I'm so bad at getting people to reimburse me yeah I need to remember to do that anyway um so then I'm doing all of this and this little small dude comes in um is it relevant he's small no but i'm observing so he came in what was he wearing and i think he's the bad guy um a burgundy hoodie and a jacket and black jeans um so he came in and i over here because i'm nosy um him talking to the people of the desk being like hi um i'm i think he said he was booked into the hotel but then that wouldn't really make sense but he was like
Starting point is 00:11:19 i'm staying here with my brother and i was meant to meet him for dinner three hours ago and he hasn't turned up and he's staying in a room in this hotel and I was like holy fuck is I gonna be a dead body
Starting point is 00:11:33 but also sorry this guy is independent of the incident that has happened independent okay so when you said I think he's the bad guy I thought you meant
Starting point is 00:11:41 oh no no no no so that's this is a different I've given my statement they're off looking for her okay this is a new new new incident
Starting point is 00:11:50 I thought you know I thought that's all the excitement for the day yeah incomes this guy, being like, I haven't seen my brother. He hasn't turned up for dinner. I was like, oh my God, what is it going to happen? Right.
Starting point is 00:12:01 And then a bit later, police, full police and like body, whatever, come in. And the travel order guy was like, it's all kicking off here today. And I thought like I'd built rapport with him by then. So I tried to be like, is this about the guy who just came in and asked about his brother? And then the guy looked at me, I was like, okay, you can't tell me. I understand. He was like, no, no, no, we're not having that conversation. No, no, no, the guy behind the desk.
Starting point is 00:12:23 Oh, the guy behind the desk. because he had given me free breakfast and Wi-Fi because of my troubles. I mean, it is the least you could do. I felt like we were friends, but apparently not that close friends. Not enough to like gossip around with the war cooler yet. So they go in and I'm like, I just like wish I was on the same floor so that I could like follow the police. But they go anyway, finally get a room, going up in the lift, come out on my floor, bump straight into a policeman. He goes, sorry, can you stand?
Starting point is 00:12:53 back please oh my god they're arresting the guy stop it right there in front of me best thing it's a fucking identical twin so the guy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so at first i'm like has the guy from downstairs like was it he just trying to break into the hotel and he's gone and he's gone and he's gone back around and got back in but he was in a totally different outfit and as you know i noticed outfits so sorry sorry so he came in was like i was meant to meet my brother for lunch for dinner and he never arrived but he's staying here please can i go up and and check if he's here. Yeah, or can like someone check that he's okay? So then he went up. No, he left. No, he left. That was another really suspicious thing. I was like, if you're really worried about your brother, why did you like
Starting point is 00:13:33 just leave? And then the police have arrived to go up to the room. And a lot of police, not just like two, you know, usually it's just two. And arrest like five, six police. Yes. Yes. The guy who was looking for his brother. Yeah. Why? What? Well, unfortunately, then I was asked to stand back and then I tried to linger but I couldn't I don't know anything more and I'm so sorry but isn't that exciting that is exciting I felt so lucky to be on the same floor I feel very unsatisfied by the by the end of this tale but that is exciting um let's just decide what it was okay um so he's in his room and they arrest him in his room in the travel lodge I think maybe it's drugs what are you doing in a travel lodge
Starting point is 00:14:23 Not you, I know what you're doing in the travel lodge. What am I doing in a travel lodge? Why, you're staying naked, you're doing a gig and then watching naked alone in the woods. Yeah. So, so what is, what could you possibly be doing that's naughty? Prostitute.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Yeah. I think it was drugs. But then I don't know why his brother. I don't know. I wonder how the brother, like, fits in. Twins committing crime, you crazy? that's like a rare god you know what that's like a rare Pokemon
Starting point is 00:14:56 what if he what if the brother who first came in was the bad guy and then he was pinning it on the identical brother but like I thought he was coming in for a welfare check and then like six police officers turn up that's not just a welfare check no and then telling you to get back
Starting point is 00:15:14 travel lodge were like this guy's really suspicious yeah but still but then do so many if you just have a suspicious person to so many police turn up I don't know. I don't know what happened. We need, if you are, if you have any connections to York, police. Micklegate Center Travel Lodge.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Please, please fill us in. We want to know what happened. Thank you for my free Wi-Fi and breakfast. I didn't even have time to have breakfast. Hence the days to stare. Oh, this was last night. This was last night, yeah. As Gigo did last night.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Okay. Blimey. Yeah. No ending. Maybe he was the guy who hit the girl. Let's tie it all together. Nice little bow. In the movie, I guess that's what it would be. But instead, I think there's just like a lot of crime and it's sad and there's not enough ambulances. Really, she was having an affair with the brother. And at that dinner, he was going to finally tell his brother that he's been having an affair with his girlfriend. But affairs aren't illegal. No, I know.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Maybe they were actually triplets and one got killed. Okay, I'm back on board. Happy? Yeah. Can we move on? Yeah. Cool. ACAS powers the world's best podcast.
Starting point is 00:16:34 Here's the show that we recommend. Hello, everyone. I'm historian David Boris, and I want to let you know that I'm hosting a brand new podcast coming out this fall of 2025. It's called The Conflict and Culture Podcasts, and it explores everything and anything to do with military history beyond the battlefield. This season, we have episodes on American rock music during Vietnam, the myth of the clean Vermacht, the Apache Way of War, and so much more.
Starting point is 00:17:06 First episode drops this September. Check it out. Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere. So, you know, take a moment to come down from my intense true crime story. Yes. And prepare yourself for another. I'm finally back on the true crime horse, baby. Please. Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:42 As I said, I had to make a last minute lamez video. So I lost a day of research, but I've done my absolute best. And this is the story of Ashley Wallace. So Ashley was born in 1988. That can't be true. When were you born? 1990. Oh.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Why? Apparently Adele was also born in 1988. I thought Adele was younger than that. No. Ashley was born in 1988 along with Adele and home and away. To mum Stacey Castor and dad Michael Wallace. She was the first born, but was joined by a younger sister, Bree, in 1991. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:26 I did look at the Robin Williams films for these years. Thank God. But they just weren't, like, core ones. Oh, what were they? I couldn't tell you. Oh, oh. But Deb Poet Society was like the year after. I'll take it.
Starting point is 00:18:41 Cool. That was 89, really? Yeah. Wow. Ashley's mum, Stacy, worked as an ambulance dispatch company. I mean, she didn't work as a company, did she? Look, I gave you the pre-warning. This was written on the train.
Starting point is 00:18:56 She worked for an ambulance dispatch company, while Wallace, Michael, worked nights as a mechanic, but the family had little money. According to Stacey, the mum, Michael was very close to Brie. We've all got favourites. And because of showing favouritism,
Starting point is 00:19:15 she made up for it by becoming best friends with Ashley. That's depressing, sounds like she wasn't asked about Ashley and then was like oh shit he's really I should probably put an effort in yeah poor Ashley well also it just makes it sound like the last choice but also it makes sense to not really like Brie it's like you're getting enough attention yeah let's all just love our children equally when Ashley was 11 in early 2000 she came home from school to find her dad Michael asleep on the sofa um a position he was often in as he had been unwelcome well recently he had been suffering from dizziness and spent most of his time in bed complaining of
Starting point is 00:19:55 feeling drunk all the time despite not drinking um he'd been treated for an ear infection by his doctor and sent home uh at christmas his sister noticed that he looked very bloated which is a savage observation um and unwell and he was just like i've been suffering from like a cold i just haven't been well recently um ashley said her dad made a strange noise lifted his arm and then let it drop back down and that was the last time he moved um she sat watching tv for about half an hour because she just thought he was asleep um but then her mum came home to take michael to the doctors and when she arrived michael's feet were purple um he was rushed to hospital but died of a suspected heart attack leaving ashley feeling very guilty for sitting and watching tv not knowing
Starting point is 00:20:43 he had died oh actually just teared up that's horrific um so after that it was just Ashley Brie and Stacey for a few years but like life began to look up they took trips together they like they really did especially Ashley and Stacey but I think Brie as well
Starting point is 00:21:02 they were like a three but like they were like best friends Ashley and Stacey were like best friends oh yeah Bree's lost her yeah but like it says they would chat for hours about anything and everything they were having good times until 2003
Starting point is 00:21:19 when Stacey met a new man, David Castor, a divorced man living the high life, which Stacey soon got to live with him. He was the owner of an air conditioning installation and repair company. Woo! And she served as his office manager. The pair was soon married and Stacey took his surname from that point. What was odd though was none of David's family or friends were invited to the wedding, not even his own son. Ashton Brie didn't like David at first. They didn't want their dad replaced so soon. And David also didn't, he was kind of like, duh. He was like, I don't want to be your dad. I have my, great. He was like, I have kids in my own. Wow. Yeah. He sounds great.
Starting point is 00:22:07 So bad vibe. How long has it been since their dad died? Three years. Whoa. Okay. Yeah. But it was an upgrade from the single month. other lifestyle. And as the months pass, David and the girls did start to bond. Okay. And Ashley described the smile on his face at her graduation as one of a proud father. So like they really bonded in the end. That's nice. Unfortunately, the couple grew apart. As the kids bonded with him, the relationship grew apart. And after one particularly heated argument in 2005, one lasting according to Stacey seven hours, she called the county sheriff's office
Starting point is 00:22:48 saying David had locked himself in their bedroom and she was worried that she hadn't seen him for a whole day. The police came to do a wellness check and it was found that he had committed suicide. Wow. And then just two years later, September 14th, 2009, Stacey had to make another traumatic 911 call.
Starting point is 00:23:10 911 call. I get so confused. 911 call. And it goes like this. Okay. I need an ambulance. My daughter, I believe, has taken some pills. Yes, she's moaning.
Starting point is 00:23:22 I'm leaning over her. Ashley, she's having trouble, I think. It sounds like there's something in her throat. Ashley, Ashley. My daughter, I believe she's taking some pills. Oh, she's throwing up. She's throwing up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:23:35 At this point, Bree, the younger sister, Yeah. Comes in and gives Stacey a note that she's found by Ashley's bed. on the call she says she's left a letter she left a note oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god this is not happening the note read mommy remember that i love you more than anything and i did it for you and for us i couldn't let daddy be mean to you and me anymore please forgive me mummy please don't hate me the note was 750 words long typed and it gave intricate details about how she had in fact murdered, both Michael and David.
Starting point is 00:24:18 Details only the killer would know. It was a confession. So... What? Typed bullshit. Right, problem. Typed. How old is she?
Starting point is 00:24:32 Fifteen. A good question. This is 2009 and she was born in... 2009, so she's 21. No, she's not 21. I think she's like 18. well she's at school she's a teenager
Starting point is 00:24:48 she'd be 21 okay then this isn't 2009 what is this well in 2003 okay well then I've got a date wrong oh okay I'm so sorry but I think she's 18 okay it's important to the story
Starting point is 00:25:04 that she is at school right okay but old you know 18 leaving school yeah um anything else you want to say at this point? I don't believe it. I think some, I think this is fishy. I don't, I, I, I don't believe that she's responsible for killing anybody. Okay, so police arrive. Ashley is unresponsive and not talking. Her eyes are
Starting point is 00:25:27 wide open, but not seeing anything and she's rushed to hospital where she remains in intensive care. Police stay by, sorry, what 18 year old is saying, mummy? Okay, so I saw that as a red flag as well, but then she does say it later. Oh, okay. Because that was my immediate response. I was like, no 18 year old is still calling them on mummy but I think it's an American thing okay um police stay by her side 24 seven waiting for her to wake up when she finally does she has no idea where she is um they question her about what she took and the note yeah she insists she took nothing and she has no knowledge of any note i believe her stacey the mum barges in she says like she demands to see ashley she says i love you i'm sorry and ashley sees that there is a
Starting point is 00:26:11 police officer by her side, and in that moment, she knows her mother's behind this. I'm so glad I wrote it to actually get an order for gas. It was the mum. Right, the mum was deaf. Right, okay, initially, as soon as you said, bloated tummy, he's been feeling sick like he's drunk, the whole time I was thinking antifreeze, anti-freeze, anti-freeze, anti-freeze. Do you know how hard I worked to hide it from blue? I was writing this, literally the story.
Starting point is 00:26:41 morning like how how do I bury the lead from Julia I was like how do I bury this I was having to cut so many details like I'll just say that later I have to cut that out I have to cut that out I don't want to give it away um so the police immediately arrest Stacy turns out they'd been investigating her for a while so let's go back oh my god Stacy here we go bad bitch so let's go back to first husband Michael. Okay. The dad. Yeah, the dad, the original biological dad. When Michael died, his sister was keen to get an autopsy done, but Stacey refused, saying Michael wouldn't want to be cut open. She also received $55,000 in life insurance, which funded all those trips. Stacey took the girls on. They went to Disneyland. She also, the daughters reported, never cried. But they thought it was because she was like, strong for her daughters. Yeah. But sus.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Their marriage had been deteriorating though, and she'd told a friend that she really wanted to leave Mike, but with the holidays coming up, it wasn't the time. Ashley had also noticed her mum had become more irritable and aggressive and that she did all the kind of punishment side of discipline. The bad cop. So as we know, David and Stacey also were having marital issues. David's the second.
Starting point is 00:28:05 The second. And her story was that after a seven-hour argument, David had got drunk, taken a bottle of southern comfort into their room by himself and shut himself in. But the scene police found suggested he'd drunk something else. He was found face down, naked on the bed, with a glass half full of a green liquid, with a bottle of antifreeze nearby. At first, it was declared by the coroner that David had committed suicide through a self-administered lethal dose of antifreeze. Horrible way to go, by the way.
Starting point is 00:28:41 But who would self-administer antifreeze? Is that a thing? Well, I mean, it's a way to do it, I guess, because you know what the outcome is, but it's a horrible way, but like... Why is it what happens? Because it, like, attacks your kidneys and, like, your body shuts down.
Starting point is 00:28:59 It sounds, it really... Is it slow? I think it's quite... Well, it depends on how high the dosage is, but... Well, yeah, Michael, obviously, first guy, very slow. yeah oh god um so also presumably she's an idiot because well that's a horrible thing to do but like she's done the same method on both yeah but first time she got away with it he got buried it was a heart
Starting point is 00:29:23 attack that's what they said it was yeah um she's got away with the first one she's technically got was the second one was the first one buried so there's still a body so they can exhumed the body do a little testing so let's stay with David for now they thought he'd commit suicide via self-administered lethal dose
Starting point is 00:29:47 and she left the bottle out she left the bottle of antifree yeah but it was she made it look like he did in it himself right but then the police found a turkey baster in the kitchen trash with remnants of a green liquid in it
Starting point is 00:30:01 and they were like if this liquid is antifraise then why is it in the kitchen trash when David died closed in the bedroom? And also who is using a turkey baster? If you're at a point where you're just ready to end it all wouldn't you just like straight into your glass? But how would it, well that's what the scene was
Starting point is 00:30:21 is there was a glass of like anti-freeze and anti-freeze but also if he's died, he's not carrying it down to the kitchen bin. No, of course not. So they bring Stacey in for questioning but they have to await the forensic result. Stacey calls Ashley to tell her the news that her stepfather has died and suspiciously David's will leaves everything to Stacey once again leaving David's biological son out of everything completely.
Starting point is 00:30:51 So she must be, she must have been rumbled if she's at a point where she needs to kill off her daughter and pin it on her. We'll get that. Sorry, yeah. So, also David's biological son this whole time has just been made to think that his dad doesn't like him. Oh. Because he's not invited to the wedding.
Starting point is 00:31:09 He's not left in the will. Oh, yeah. So him not being invited to the wedding, was that Stacey's doing? Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's not, but yeah, it feels like it. Yeah. This means Stacey and the girls once again go to trips on trips.
Starting point is 00:31:23 The girls feel loved as Stacy spends more money on them, more quality time with them. They're like, mom's back. Oh, no. But a year later, the forer, Forensic results finally come back. It takes a year for the forensic results to come back. And Ashley's incident is two years later.
Starting point is 00:31:44 So. David dies. On the turkey baster. Yeah. David dies. Year later, we've got the forensic results back. Yeah. It comes back and as suspected, it is indeed anti-freeze in the turkey baster.
Starting point is 00:31:56 What's more is on the end of the baster is David's DNA. Ooh, interesting. And on the glass in the bedroom, Stacey's fingerprints, three. Of course. Full. Also, not technically that dodgy in their house where she lives. No, that's true. Like, explainable.
Starting point is 00:32:16 But yes. Explainable. But Dodge. But Dodge. Yeah. And not his, presumably not his fingerprints. Yeah. Because if it's only her fingerprints, very Dodge.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Well, and also that plus turkey baster plus, David's blood test contradicts Stacey's 991. 911. 911. Let's just all pick one. 991. Let's pick one.
Starting point is 00:32:40 Let's all just get together and do 911. 991. 911? Yeah. 911 call because she said in that that David had been drunk and drinking. But the blood results showed no trace of alcohol. So the police want to
Starting point is 00:32:58 so this is where they're at. in the David investigation. They've waited a year for forensics. It's come back, as they suspected. So now they're like, we want to interview Stacy's ex-husband. Can't. They look him up.
Starting point is 00:33:14 He's dead. How suspicious. Two dead husbands. And presumably that was just put down to like a heart attack. They thought, yeah, that was put down as a heart attack. Okay. So now two years after David's death, Stacey is asked back in for questioning and told they've exhumed her first husband
Starting point is 00:33:35 and found anti-freeze in his system. Yep. They show her a picture, this is my favourite book, they share a picture of the bedside table scene at David's death. It shows there's the glass with the green liquid, there's an empty glass and a bottle of cranberry juice next to it, and they say, can you identify which of the two glasses you brought into the room? and she literally says
Starting point is 00:34:01 well I poured the anti-free I mean cranberry juice stop it stop it stop it no she doesn't Stacy and they're literally all like oh my god oh my god
Starting point is 00:34:13 she literally just said it and then she is like I don't like this you're trying to trick me you're trying to trap me you're trying to frame me I'm done answering questions and she leaves
Starting point is 00:34:24 so then they wiretap her phones great she warns her daughter Ashley that the police are trying to twist the story so she tells Ashley that like this is what the police are doing and gets Ashley on her side they're best friends and so that means
Starting point is 00:34:42 when police visit Ashley on her first day back at school on the 12th of September she immediately rings her mum to her no she's freaking out she says here we go mummy but she doesn't say in a posh way mummy the police are here
Starting point is 00:34:56 mommy I watch all the squirrels, mommy. No, she says, Mommy, they came to my frickin' school and the mum's like, they came to your school, how dare they? Like, do you want me to pick the mum? She's like, no, I have to stay at school. And she's like, okay, like, you just, it's okay. Like, it's kind of, they're annoyed.
Starting point is 00:35:13 They're like, how dare they come to the school? But they come to the school and they tell her we've exhumed your dad. So then at 5pm when Ashley gets home. They come to the school, oh, and then ask her questions. Yeah, I think they're like. Not just to be like, by the way, we've dug up your dad. Well, they're like, we've done with your dad, we found anti-freeze. Oh, they tell the daughter?
Starting point is 00:35:31 Yeah, like, they want to talk to her. In the home, she'll be like, well, actually, my mum. Yeah, but Ashley is totally on her mum's side. Okay. Well, yeah, you don't want to think that you're... Because her mum, the mum's warned her. The mum's, like, let her in on... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:45 What's happening, but in a very, like, on her side version. Yeah, okay. So at 5pm, when Ashley gets home, Stacey suggests that they've had a rough week and should just get drunk, which to a teenager, It's music to her. It's like, what? I have such a cool mom.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Oh no. Would she like, let's drink this suspicious green liquid? No, so this night Ashley gets really tired after finishing just one drink. She feels very drunk from one drink. She says she's going to go lie down. And she wakes up the next day with an awful hangover. Yeah. But goes to school.
Starting point is 00:36:24 Comes back. Fair play. Next evening, Stacey's like, let's do it again, man. But this time, let's get really drunk. Ashley can taste her drink is really strong this time. And she could taste the vodka in it, she says. She kept adding more mixer until her mum goes into the kitchen, gets a straw and instructs her to put it at the back of her throat and just drink it.
Starting point is 00:36:48 Fucking out, Stacey. I know. Ashley does, as her mother suggests. Oh, my God. Later that evening, Bree, the younger sister, gets back to find that apparently her sister's been sleeping all day. She's absolutely fucked. Yeah, her mom apparently, like, came out of nowhere and was like, closed the door and was like, she's fine. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:37:09 Yeah. But in the morning, Brie hears weird noises coming from Ashley's room. And when she goes in, it's the noise of her breathing out. Like, it sounds really strange. Her eyes are glassed over. she's thrown up and she didn't respond to her name when Bree shakes her she doesn't wake up
Starting point is 00:37:26 she would have died in bed 10 minutes later if it was not for Bree now obviously police have tapped the phone so they hear this 911 call they're like the phone we've tapped is calling 911 Bree's 911 call no Stacy
Starting point is 00:37:48 the one I read earlier being like my daughter her. So they're watching her. I think she's taken some, this one where she's like, I think she's taken, okay. So they're watching her, they've tapped the phones. Yeah. And they're like, um, guys, she's ringing 9-1-1. Yeah. Um, which
Starting point is 00:38:05 presumably she wouldn't have done had Brie not come home and been like, she would have later and then and then. But Bree's found her, she's gone, mom, we need to call 911. Um, so the police hit the entire call. Um, and they rush to the scene and they feel really responsible. They're like, fuck. Like, if this girl dies,
Starting point is 00:38:28 that we feel partly responsible for that. While Ashley barely clings to life, Stacey explains that next to Ashley's bed is an empty bottle of vodka and prescription pills and shows them the note. The note, however. Ashley, you've got to mix it up. You've got to mix it up, please.
Starting point is 00:38:46 I guess when something works, people just think that they've found some magic things. Yeah. Yeah, literally, at that point. Yeah. You're like, they've literally found antifraise in your ex-husband exhumed body. Minimum. Minimum, don't do the glass by the bedside thing.
Starting point is 00:39:03 I know. Like, come on. The note, though, if you think about it, if Ashley had written this note, is suggesting she committed the first murder when she was 11 years old. I was going to be... I was going to be...
Starting point is 00:39:20 So the police are like, yeah and for what purpose yeah that was her motive but they do they do need Ashley to wake up to like fully disprove this night right yeah um so that's why they stay at her bedside they're like we really need this to happen as we know she does uh so Stacy's arrested a year later it's Stacy's trial um and Ashley has to come face to face with her for the first time since hospital to give the statement as a witness and um Stacy Stacey's to her defense that Ashley killed her dad's. So she was a key witness to disprove that.
Starting point is 00:39:57 So she was basically still being accused. Thank you. Forensic evidence from the home computer also showed that the confession slash suicide note had been written at 2.27 p.m. on September the 12th when Ashley was at school. The same day she called her mum a panic because the police had visited
Starting point is 00:40:23 and it had been written on Stacey's computer account and she was the only one home at the time. I mean lock her up. Lock her up for how stupid this is alone. A friend of Stacey's admitted that she had helped falsify David's
Starting point is 00:40:39 will after the death to make Stacey the only beneficiary which is why the son wasn't included. Who's this friend? I know what? I don't have any friends good enough to do that. No one would do that for me. there was a point when prosecutor county district attorney William Fitzpatrick um exploded on her yeah because she was giving nothing and he was like are you you you've had
Starting point is 00:41:05 you've lost two husbands to poisoning like and she still just stayed completely calm is in the courtroom yeah there's like video of it he like loses his shit at her and then after four emotional days of waiting the verdict finally comes in and she's found guilty and sentenced to 54 years. Easiest verdict in history, I'd imagine. But it took four days still. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Whoa. Bree and Ashley feel a weight lifted off them. Yeah. The judge told Stacey that you are not just a danger to the general public, you're a danger to the people who love you and are closest to you. Yeah. Ashley gave a victim statement in which she mostly asked why. she said even though I do hate her
Starting point is 00:41:52 I love her at the same time and that bothers me it's so confusing she was my best friend and she took that all away because she got scared well I was scared too when I was in the hospital and by myself and all I wanted was my mum but she was the one that did this
Starting point is 00:42:07 she said after my mum is sentenced today I'll go back to my loving home with people who care about me she's not going to go home and if she had chosen not to do these things she would be home with me and Brie I just want it all to go away but I know it will never go away I have to live with this
Starting point is 00:42:25 for the rest of my life she was also in her statement she was like I was worried I'd turn out like her because she was once good so like do I have the capability to become that but she knows she'd never do that
Starting point is 00:42:37 to her children she also hated that her mum made her look stupid in the note because she's actually very smart she like what is it in America she like quoted her like GP is it GPA
Starting point is 00:42:48 yeah that was something um yeah she was like i'm really smart and i hate that you made me look she like dumbed her down to make it sound like it would have been heard to write it michael's sister the first husband who had said he looked bloated and unwell um she said she was glad it was over and believed her brother had been by the sister's sides um Ashley described it's the best day of her life because everyone knew she didn't do it she refuses to call her mum now um and says she took away two dads but she says as hard as it is to get up every day and put a smile on my face I know that I have to because if I don't then Stacey won she graduated from college got an associate's degree in accounting works at a CPA firm as a bookkeeper and she says these are all
Starting point is 00:43:34 things she wouldn't have achieved if she had been with Stacey Brie in this talking heads video said I wake up and I'm happy every day wouldn't change a thing that I'm doing right now Oh that's good I imagine she would feel quite guilty Well and in the Victor statement as well She was like I hate that you You made me find my dad
Starting point is 00:44:01 And you made Brie find me Yeah Oh my God yeah Yeah Because she'd been feeling guilty all that time About that half an hour with her dad Yeah of course And it was like how mum killed him
Starting point is 00:44:12 That's so traumatic fitzpatrick the district attorney yes he lost shit and he also he prepared her loads for court they developed a really close bond during the trial and he promised to walk her down the aisle oh did he the day of her wedding is she married she is married she's married she's children this is a weird bit this is a weird place to have put this but just a bit of goss. Although never proven, Stacey also was suspected to have killed her own
Starting point is 00:44:50 father in 2002 in the same way she killed David and Michael. Fucking hell, Stacey. You cannot You cannot... But that one's never been proved, but again, I think Candy froze. How did he die? Green liquid by the bedside? Well, Michael was like a slow one though, wasn't he?
Starting point is 00:45:06 Yeah. So I guess she changed up slightly, but yeah, it's suspected she also killed her own dad. My God. So two husbands, her own dad and her own daughter. Wow. She though died in prison in 2016. Like I said, Ashley is now married with children. And this, I have nicked this quote from the YouTube page at Unseen True Crime,
Starting point is 00:45:29 but I thought it was just the best conclusion. They said, Ashley and Breeze love for each other defeated a serial killer and now living a full life is their best revenge. Lovely. So that is the survival story of Ashley Wallace. Blimey. Which I think is quite cool to do as well
Starting point is 00:45:53 because when I googled her, just her mum came up. Like, like, it's always covered as the story of Stacey Caster. Yeah. If you go to what I mean? But actually her story is... And I was like, fuck her.
Starting point is 00:46:06 I don't care about her background. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Ashley's story. Wow. So what are we putting in the survival toolkit? I mean. Can't put people in
Starting point is 00:46:20 who can't have Brie. I know, because Reel Brie is. Yeah. Um... Turkey Baster. Yeah. I think the turkey baster was like the key clue. It was the lynch, but yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:37 That really, um, flipped the investigation. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, she didn't even go for the, like, colorless anti-free. Like, crazy. So, crazy. Such a bullsy move. Like, yeah, really obvious.
Starting point is 00:46:52 Yeah, for the box standard fluorescent green. It might as well say poison on the front. Yeah. I mean, typing the note is suspicious. Oh, yeah. They were like, because even her name was typed. Yeah. Which they were like, that's, people don't do that.
Starting point is 00:47:07 That's strange. Let's go Turkey based. Because also, Turkey based. Baster, probably in the toolkit, might come in handy. Who knows? For sure. I think that would definitely come in handy. Yeah. Or just like bright green liquid. Green dye. Green dye. I think, I want to go turkey. I think turkey base is going to have more future uses. Okay. Great story. Turkey body stories. Lovely. Thank you. Okay. Hello. That's the start of the... Hello. Hello. Exclamation.
Starting point is 00:47:50 Are we starting a new episode? Welcome to West. Oh no. Um, hello, exclamation mark. Full stop. Sure. I'm titling this. Disaster in Paradise. Oh, a title. Someone's leveled up. The formality of the email. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for giving us the respect we deserve. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. This is a proper institution. This is a workplace, actually. Okay. Whereas, I hope this email found you well.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Maybe that. Let's not encourage formalities in the... I mean, they don't listen to us anyway. We encouraged abuse at the start, and we haven't had one bit of abuse. Yeah. Because people are so much nicer than we are. Fresh out of uni,
Starting point is 00:48:32 I decided to go on a solo backpacking adventure around Southeast Asia. It's a classic. You've lost us already, I'm afraid. We have to get used to it at this point. Solo. and desensitized to it. Solo.
Starting point is 00:48:43 Yeah. I had the absolute best time of my life. Oh. Good for you. The end. Sorry. You have misunderstood the assignment. And ended my trip on the tropical beaches of Bali.
Starting point is 00:49:00 Ooh, lovely. The cherry on top was finding out that my best friend, who had also been backpacking, right, so I'm sorry. I don't want to put a spanner in the works here. That's not alone. Your solo backpacking. your best friend is solo backpacking. That's awkward. Or that's just they have such a mature adult relationship
Starting point is 00:49:19 that they want to spend time together but not all the time. They want space. Yes. But then that's, you're right, not solo. If they are, yeah, anyway. This is a lot of people are like, yeah, I went solo traveling.
Starting point is 00:49:31 And I'm like, yeah, and how many people did you meet up in which countries? Yeah. Honestly, I think I'm going to have to go solo traveling soon because no one will go on holiday with me. And everyone keeps telling me, they're like, you need a holiday. I think you need a break
Starting point is 00:49:43 I think you need to go on holiday I'm like with it no one's offering Everyone's just telling me to go away No one's offering to come with me Would you go on your own? I don't think I can Really
Starting point is 00:49:55 I don't even know where you start with a solo holiday Like I feel like yeah Maybe you're meant to you Because like chick flick like empowerment Yeah I love it I don't think I could I'd be so bored of myself I'd also like what activities do you do on your own
Starting point is 00:50:09 Because I think it's a lot of reading and I don't like that. Yeah. Yeah. Dinner on your own. How do you feel about dinner on your own? Like I can do it every now and then. I don't want it to just be like for a week.
Starting point is 00:50:19 Yeah. Who would I talk to? I think you should do it. I think you should give it a good. Honestly. I think you come back a different woman. It's becoming. Yeah, you may not have a choice.
Starting point is 00:50:29 More and more necessary because unless I find a boyfriend in the next month. Who am I going with? Well. Oh, you've got to go in the next month. Have you noticed Julia hasn't offered? Yeah. Sorry, I'm solo backpacking. Okay, the cherry on top was finding out my best friend
Starting point is 00:50:47 who had also been backpacking was ending her journey in Bali too at the same time as me. So we decided that we would spend our final day together relaxing at the beach club before we flew home. Nice, that sounds lovely. That's a way to end the day. That's a great way to end it. After an amazing day spent sipping cocktails
Starting point is 00:51:05 and reminiscing about our adventures, we headed out for one last supper. My friend excitedly told me That she had found an amazing local place With great food just around the corner I do So as two skinned backpackers, off we headed When I arrived at the restaurant
Starting point is 00:51:22 It was surprisingly quiet My inner dad voice was telling me That this isn't usually a good sign Nonetheless, I am far too English To turn around and confidently walk back out of the restaurant I am 100% with you If you are in, if you are sat down And they've handed you a menu
Starting point is 00:51:39 You cannot get up and walk out again. Sometimes you have to though. Have you ever done? I don't think I've ever done that. I think I've done it like twice ever. Really? And only because the other people there have agreed. As a group, we are doing this.
Starting point is 00:51:51 You cannot make eye contact with anybody who works there on the way out. It's horrid. It's horrid. Heads down. Just the idea of it makes me sick. Straight out. So instead, I did the only socially acceptable thing to do. I walked over to the buffet and pointed at some unidentifiable bowls of food
Starting point is 00:52:08 and hoped for the best. Nice. Due to the language barrier, there was some confusion with the dish I had pointed to. Was it bright green antifreeze? Yeah. Instead of what I had actually ordered,
Starting point is 00:52:26 I ended up with a huge slop of some kind of lukewarm seafood curry. Right, lukewarm and seafood should never go next to each other. Seafood curry all over my plate. Oh, no. It contaminated. everything. Regardless, I smiled politely, walked back to my table and began to tuck in. Looking back, I realised now that this was a bad idea. But as I had survived...
Starting point is 00:52:53 It's crazy where politeness goes to. As I had survived a full two months of travelling on my own without getting sick, it was safe to say, I think I'd got a bit overconfident. After finishing our meal, we headed back to our hostel and got an early night, ready for our flight home tomorrow. Upon waking up, I immediately regretted my decisions. I feel ill. And realised that I did not feel good.
Starting point is 00:53:19 I urgently stumbled to the bathroom and projectile vomited from what turned out to be, for what turned out to be the first of many times that day. It had happened. Every traveller's worst nightmare, food poisoning on holiday. The day of a flight. With a full day of travelling ahead.
Starting point is 00:53:38 out of desperation, I sent my friend on an emergency mission to get as many bin bags as she could possibly get her hands on. Without going into too much detail, there was no way those tiny little sick bags they give you on aeroplanes were going to contain what was now exiting me from both ends. I was about to say both ends though. I was like, bin bag's not going to help the other end. You can't, not on a plane. No. You can't just start shitting into a bag. on a plane that's not allowed due to an early checkout time everything is against her oh my god due to an early checkout time i had to drag myself out of the hostel room and into the hostel's communal bathrooms on the basement floor communal bathrooms no you just need some privacy to lie by
Starting point is 00:54:29 the toilet yeah so there i was you're home now sat on the toilet whilst clutching a bin bag in both hands to capture anything else that came out of me. Anything else? What else is coming out of it? Also, why has Bingbag been the first choice while the host, like, bucket? Like, binbags have, do they have holes in? No. No.
Starting point is 00:54:52 Okay. They just carry a lot. I think she's thinking volume rather than anything else. Thinking to my sorry self that things couldn't possibly get much worse. Never think that. How wrong I was. At first I thought, my gosh, that's a big Lorry driving by. as the walls around me began to rumble.
Starting point is 00:55:11 No. But then the vibrations didn't stop. And before I knew it, all the walls around me were violently shaking and bending in front of my eyes. It sounded like the world was ending and it quickly came to my realisation that the big lorry was in fact an earthquake.
Starting point is 00:55:32 You were right. Well, at least it wasn't a tsunami. There's enough of that happening in the bathroom. of course I did not know this at the time but the earthquake turned out to be 6.4 magnitude I'll be honest that means nothing to me which on a scale of earthquakes
Starting point is 00:55:51 is pretty big sure I assumed as much yeah of course all the things of course all the things that you are told to do in an earthquake suddenly begun racing through my mind what are you supposed to do in an earthquake the only thing I can remember is stand in a doorway Is that true?
Starting point is 00:56:05 Or under a... I don't know anything about earthquakes. Under a desk? Yeah, I'd do that. I guess anywhere you can get some kind of protection. Of course... Unfortunately for me, I was so sick that I couldn't find the strength to move.
Starting point is 00:56:20 So all I could muster was to lean forward on the toilet seat and kick the toilet door open so at least my head was under some kind of doorway. Sorry, talk me through that again. So she's now... She cannot move from the toilet. She's still on the toilet. She's kicked the door open
Starting point is 00:56:36 and lent her head through so that at least her heads protected through the doorway. Yeah. Got. Arse still firmly on the seat. Yeah, nice. But I'm still, like, I'm imagining a cubicle
Starting point is 00:56:49 where it's like, that's not the main doorway though. That's just a door. I don't think it's the same thing. No, yeah, you want it to be structurally integral to the building. Yeah, like part of the building, not just like turquoise plastic above you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:01 Um, I kept thinking to myself over and over, oh my god i'm going to die with my knickers around my ankles on a toilet just like elvis i mean pretty legendary to be honest and then in brackets she's written minus the knickers also oh he was shitting was he shitting i think so or is that a wasn't that a is that like a you know what's it called urban myth legend yeah maybe it's true we what conspiracy theory Surprisingly, I felt so, so unwell that I had no sense of fear. To be fair, when you have food poisoning, you are at your absolute lowest.
Starting point is 00:57:43 Like, that is the real... Yeah, I had it in the summer before Kilkenny Festival. Did you? Oh my God, it was awful. I slept on the bathroom floor for like two days. Yeah, awful, isn't it? Couldn't move. I woke my housemate up with my food poisoning.
Starting point is 00:58:01 My vomiting was so loud. Oh, you gross. woke up in the middle of the night. I cannot handle sick. In that moment, I just completely accepted my fate. And to be honest, I was kind of grateful that at least soon the misery would all be over. Yeah, for real. That is how you feel at that time.
Starting point is 00:58:20 For I was surely soon to be buried under rubble. I feel like you can't even remember. Sorry, I think the podcast just skipped. We should really, that was bad audio. you can't remember being well. No, yes, and it feels like you will never get back to that. In that moment, you're like, this is all, this is all it's ever been. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:43 And it will never be anything else. Yeah. Oh, it's awful. Horrible. Sadly for me, the building was sturdier than I had thought and remained standing. Therefore, what followed could only be described as an endurance test with a full 24 hours of traveling to get back home. Most of the journey I spent asleep on the plain toilet floor, a surface that I would normally do everything in my power to avoid touching,
Starting point is 00:59:09 but in this instance, I had happily curled up on as I was so weak. Oh, the toilet floor is your friend in these times. Imagine the queue outside of that. I was about to say about what about the other people. Were they not worried about it as well? The only thing I managed to eat was a little bit of jam that I licked off the back of a spoon in an attempt to keep my sugar levels up. Oh, so magical.
Starting point is 00:59:33 So there you go. That is my survival story. Sorry about all the poop talk. I hope you aren't too squeamish. It's welcome. All the best, Alicia or Alicia. I never know. A-L-I-C-I-A.
Starting point is 00:59:49 I'm not with you in the world. And a smiley face. Don't spell words at me right now. Oh yeah, that was a mistake. Thank you, Alicia, Alicia, whichever you prefer. Thank you. I hope you're feeling better now. We're glad that you survived the earthquake.
Starting point is 01:00:10 My God, that's impressive. That was a journey. You look high right now. This has been my survival. Yeah. I'm going to go sleep. Yeah, I think you should. I really think you should.
Starting point is 01:00:29 sleep and eat um well uh if you want to send us your please do please take over if you want to send us your worst case scenarios please send them to help at wcspod dot com and we hope you survive another week i hope you survive another week not making any promises but wow a dark way to end i know your hangover tomorrow is going to be but it's okay guys like just imagine I'm smiling yeah that's
Starting point is 01:01:03 is that worse you smiled like a hostage well I just I was told I was told recently that I need to like your eyes are saying help and your mouth
Starting point is 01:01:11 are saying I'm fine yeah that's where I am right now but like I was told recently that because you know I'm really bad on text like I'm so bad on text um
Starting point is 01:01:19 apparently it's just something I'm not willing to fix about myself but because I don't read it as bad but then someone told me recently is like you need to tell everyone that whenever you text, just imagine you're smiling.
Starting point is 01:01:32 Right. And it fixes your texts. Right. If you just imagine I'm smiling, it's fine. So maybe you should change your WhatsApp. Or maybe everybody who knows you should change your WhatsApp name to Abby, remember she's smiling. Yeah. But then it might come across like the joker.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Yeah, it is a joker virus, isn't it? I think it's because I don't use like emojis or punctuation because I find it cringe. Puntuation is so cringe. famously I don't know it's just a bit too you're very direct isn't it
Starting point is 01:02:02 it's just like so when I tell joke you know I let just like the words it's a craft you know I just do the word
Starting point is 01:02:08 I don't I don't want to like overdo it I don't want to do a little like smiley face you know right
Starting point is 01:02:15 so you literally just write the words no punctuation but also like my sense of humour is like very mean and so then it's just mean
Starting point is 01:02:22 yeah but if you imagine I'm smiling when I'm doing it's scary No, way scarier. Way more intimidating. Bander.
Starting point is 01:02:33 Anyway, we did the catchphrase ages ago, but imagine this as a as a bonus but don't, no, don't you dare, don't you dare, don't you dare that off of me.
Starting point is 01:02:49 I'm just taking Abby's mic right down. It's a bonus bit extra. What is it? You had on DVDs? The extras, DVD extras. Yeah. Loudrop's going to attack that phone.
Starting point is 01:03:03 Do it. What were you trying to say? It was just like, you just got some bonus content. Subscribe to our Patreon. Bye, bye. Get attacked by an angry shock. Struck up a mountain in the dark. Pushed up the top of a big landmark.
Starting point is 01:03:19 Hit by lightning in your local park. Cording a downpour of acid rain. Struck by meteor or a train. A proton bee passing through your brain Attacked by that angry shark a gay In how they survive Traffled by a herd of buffalo chased with an ax by your new friend Joe
Starting point is 01:03:38 Buried alive in a pile of snow The worst case scenario Here's the show that we recommend. On a new season of Heaven Bent, son of a prophet. My name is Jedediah Hartley. My name is very specific. Like, he named me based off of a prophetic dream that he had.
Starting point is 01:04:15 Like, my very identity is, like, tied to my father, who my father is, who he was. He couldn't just be a liar. Listen to season 8 of heaven bent Wherever you get your podcasts Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcast everywhere Acast.com

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