WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - Boys Only #1: Waffle House Starry Night

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Nate and Storm chat with Marc Ayers about sports, Pres Ball, and Waffle House

Didn't see you there. Welcome to our brand new podcast here on Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM or on Spotify or wherever else you get your podcasts. Featuring me, Storm Drexler and you. Nate Gallagher. You know, safe facts guy. Certified man on Hillsdale campus. That's right. We're here to make a safe space for the boys, the lads, the gents, you know, the usual suspects where we can talk with our boys, as we're going to have many guests on this show.

Swap stories and share never-before-heard secrets about the male experience here at Hillsdale College, all far away from the prying ears of the fairer sex. This is Boys Only. Today, we have our friend Mark Ayers joining us. How are you doing, Mark? I'm doing absolutely fabulous. How are you all to do? Pretty good. Pretty good. That's what we like to hear.

I'm doing amazing today, you know. It's a great Friday. It's a great day to be alive. It was so cold today, though. Oh, my gosh. I woke up at 8.30, which is so early for me. You guys know I love waking up like 20 minutes before class starts. Or at 4 in the afternoon. Or at 4 in the afternoon. So I woke up for office hours and I was like, man, I wonder what the temperature is outside. And I check my phone. It's like 16. And I'm like,

you know what, man? Nah, I'm good. I'll stay in. Then I still have to go though because Dr. Gaetano, like, he was waiting for me. I was the only guy he had all morning. It's all I would felt bad if I didn't go. Can't stand up. Dr. Kaitana. I can't stand him up. Wait, you're the only guy in his class? No, I'm the only guy for this morning's office hours. Oh, yeah, I got you.

I'm not the only guy. We have Zach Pondrash. Oh, my king. I love Zach Conrash. Love Zach. Well, today, Mark, we're actually going to interview you about the sports council that you're definitely on or something. Oh, great.

No, I'm just kidding. I heard you got interviewed a bunch of times about things you weren't really on. I did, yeah. I got interviewed for the club sports committee, I think it's called. Payton Hughes is starting it. Oh. And it's a great, great, you know, endeavor and stuff, but I'm super glad that we have this. But the club support that I head up, lacrosse, is not yet intercollegiate, which basically

just means we're not in a league. We joined one next fall, but not yet. So I'm not currently a member of that council, but I did get interviewed for that. Because the interviewer didn't know that you were not. No, she didn't. Part of that. No, I mean, there's really no way to know. I can't really blame her.

That's true. It's kind of funny. Is it just because lacrosse is newer? It is, yeah. So, I mean, that's pretty much it. We just haven't had enough time to join a league. There's usually a probationary period. The one we're looking to join will be ready to do.

So next fall, but they need to see basically that we actually have a roster of guys because if you just show up out of the blue and join one in your first year, they don't know if you actually have a team, if you have the equipment, if you can provide any, you know, any added bonus. to their league. So got to wait a little bit, got to prove yourself. That's what we're doing this semester. Yeah. Nate and I are big into sports ball. I love sports ball, especially the one where you score the points. Oh, that's my favorite. I'm all over that one. That's my favorite. I can tell you everything you need to know about that. Yeah. Do you actually play anything? Or did you ever?

I was in my past life a basketball player. No. Really? Now, you might not think that because I'm about a foot tall. Because if you're looking at him right now, oh wait, you're just listening. Yeah. Now, my deep voice would tell you otherwise, but I'm very short. Hey, don't say this stuff short, and I'm very tall, and Mark's very... Tall as well, and that's the only distinguishing physical feature of Mark. Definitely nothing else. Just his height. Not his...

Wait. Hey, man. He weighs a normal amount. For a man. You play basketball. I did play basketball. I was on the League for Catholic Youth. back home from sixth grade till ninth grade.

You're any good? Wow. Oh, I was a complete bench rider. I was a total bum. I was so bad at basketball. In the church league? In the church league, yeah. No, it was bad.

I was the shortest guy on the team for all three years. We had a couple, like, pretty good players, actually. We had to start recruiting from the league, the grade above me. Yeah. Because we didn't have enough people. More like the people above you. Well, it was the, well, that's everybody. Yeah, verticality.

Well, you're on one of the teams here at Hillsdale now for the inter- That's right, for I-M. Yeah, the I-M basketball. Yeah, the I-M-I-M-Basket-What's it called? Can I promote the sewer? You can promote the sewer. I can plug the sewer. Because you and I are both on it.

So, wait, does that- That's-oh-oh-work? Yeah. Well, I mean, the sewer basketball, or the sewer team for I-M basketball is one of the teams that Simpson Dormitory puts together here on Hillsville campus to participate. in, but we're not quite like the other teams. It's a very professional introduction for you. For the sewer.

For the Seward of Simpson Dormitory, Niels Ducle College campus. Yes. It's basically a collection of men who are terrible at basketball. Remind me of the requirements for that team? You are awful. You have to not know really the tenets of basketball. You are awful. Yeah, you have to have not played any high school ball

and preferably not any middle school ball either. So you slept in because you actually did play. I was a complete, I think I might have gotten more, I mean, I was like running out there. I was averaging like four minutes a game, zero point zero assists, zero rebounds. I was just out there running, man. In that one sewer game last week, Bobby's two, three-pointers might have overscored your entire career. No, over four years of playing basketball, I scored 12 points. Wow.

Coctively. Three a year. One of my friends scored 30 in a game that we played. That's impressive. So it was a little embarrassing. Dan was very good at basketball. Clearly, I was not. And you kept up with your stats.

Wow. Yeah. It's not hard when there's so few. I guess not. No. Very fair. So, Mark, I asked the good people of Hillsdale College to submit questions that they had for you. Oh, no.

Now, these range. They want to know about Mark. Shockingly, I know. I didn't want to know about Mark. Mark, I want to know about you. They want to know about you. So I'm just going to ask you some questions. I will say the names of the people who submitted the questions.

Oh, wow. Okay. Because, because, you know, if you want to go and confront them about this question, that's your prerogative. I'm not going to just, I'm not going to just ghost bomb you here with questions. That's very fair. Wait, are these questions kind of for all of us or just for him? No, these are just, I specifically said, give me questions that you have for Mark Ayers Jr. Junior, resident assistant in Simpson dormitory.

I got doxed. Good grief. Give me your questions. Can I answer two if I like it? No. They're not about you, Storm. Oh, okay. They're like very specific.

Hey, let me have my mind. I got you. Okay, so from one of your men, Liam Brennan. Oh, great. This question. Mark, how do we deal with the ever-growing problem of brain rot in our culture, including this emoji? For those of you who can't see, Nate's pointing his fingers to get his index fingers together with like the... For me?

Like the cute C emoji. with that. So what do you say to Liam? Oh my gosh. Mom was right. It is the phone. Look. Good grief. I don't really know how else... I'm about to hop on Instagram Reels while you talk about this.

Yeah, no, I don't know how else to put this, but it's just Reels. It's just YouTube shorts and just endless doom scrolling and brain rot. And it's funny because it's stupid. So until we think that it isn't funny, we're going to keep brain rotting. Jack asks. Bama or FSU. Oh, gosh. Oh, come on.

FSU all the way. Is this even a question? Which Jack is this? Peterson. Jack Peterson. Yeah, we figured. Yeah. Does he even know me?

This is ridiculous. Apparently not. Oh, my gosh. Now, growing up, it was a big pain being an FSU fan in the world of Alabama. I don't really know if I can explain this to people up north. You know, they think, oh, you know, Michigan, Michigan State, Ohio State. You know, our rivalries are so big. Everyone cares so much.

fools all of them the second question you're asked after your name is who do you support in Alabama really Bama or Auburn Roll Tide or War Eagle which is it and that determines how they treat you for the rest of the day and what if you say FSU Anathema Anathema you might as well leave out of the state

yes but what's the right answer what do you mean to the Bama or FSA? No Bama or Auburn no Bama or FSA or no Bama if I had to choose one of the other yeah Oh, my grandma went to Auburn, so I'd have to go War Eagle. Don't they have a cool tree? They did until Alabama fans poisoned it after they lost an Iron Bowl game. Can you believe that?

The Iron Bowl is the famous Auburn versus Alabama game, and Bama lost. That's right. And they point this actually, I remember this very well. So this is in 2013. This is the very famous kick six, where Alabama at the very last second kicks the ball to Chris Davis, Jr., who's standing in the end zone. It's an attempted field goal, but they just comes up short. so Auburn sends a guy out there he catches it and everyone thinks

oh this is not going to go anywhere and he ends up running it all the way back and scores a touchdown on the last second of the game which sent Auburn to the national championship where they then lost to Florida State oh hang it right but that's not the point so Auburn has this tradition on Tumor's Corner which is a corner on their campus

where they had this really really old tree and they would roll it with toilet paper every time they got a big win. And so a angry Alabama fan came and poisoned that tree because they lost, and it ended up, they couldn't save it and it died. There's a big hole in the ground there now. I think they've replanted it since, but the tree had been there since the foundation of the college, I'm pretty sure. And it was a big of loss.

You said it was a tumor tree? Tumor's corner. Tumors is a drugstore on the corner there, which is why it's, called Tumor's Corner, but it was the tree on Tumor's Corner. Dang. Yep. RIP, Tumor Corner Tree. Yeah.

Yeah. Tough luck. Wyatt had a question for us. We all love Wyatt. Wyatt Peters. We all love Wyatt. Would you rather have unlimited one-ply toilet paper or be able to sprint six miles per hour faster? Ooh.

That's a good question. That's a great question. Wow. It's a great, that's enlightening. I'm thinking. This is very, very, very. This is very interesting. Six miles per hour faster than I currently can sprint.

So the thing is... You can get there with training. That's the thing. Like, especially for someone like me, I don't run because I reject... That's true. I reject all physical forms of exercise. So here's the question. Can I always...

Do I always get a plus six mile per hour bonus? Or if I get that bonus and then I work up to it, that's just useless now. I think it's instantaneous. I think it's just wherever you're at, six miles faster. I'm going to pick the toilet paper then. Yeah. Because I feel like I wouldn't use that that. much. I think you have to, I think the toilet paper move is you sell it. Yeah, yeah. That's actually a good

point. Yeah, I think I'm going to have to go to toilet paper. You could also sell it undercut. If it's instantaneous. If you can't, if you can't, if you can't, if you run fast. What? You sell your legs. Leg transplant. You had like transplant. For people going to lost legs. No, the toilet paper's got to be the way. I got to be the way to go. I mean, if it's instantaneous and we're assuming that, you know, because you can train up to a certain point, but if you got to be one, you got to be one, you got to be one of the best in the world and then we're also six miles per hour faster. That's a noticeable difference. That's like what, 33 is bolt? 33?

Something like that. Yeah, something like that. Then up to almost 40 is insane. That's reaching car. But I run four miles an hour at top speed. Are you a scooter? Yeah, I just enter slow motion. I think it's that relativity thing where the faster you go, the slower you, the slower time goes.

So you're going so fast. That time is moving so fast. Time is moving slow. It's the other way around. Yeah, it is. Oh, there we go. Very unfortunate. Yeah, but I think I've got to go toilet paper there.

Sell it. Make money. Yeah, that's a good one. Gabe asks, Wildest Simpson moment. Now, we all live in Simpson. And we know that it gets crazy. But Mark, you have one year on Storm and I.

That's right. So give us something, give us something fresh. Man. What a great question, Gabe. So much to choose from. I'm going to have to go with this though So You know for those of you listening

You're obviously Are probably not going to know how large a Simpson shower is But it's about I want to say 14 meters by 17 meters Meeters Sorry What

The shower No I don't know I want to say it's maybe like Six by six feet If that If that I'm gonna say like four by four Yeah it's pretty small

It's kind of a square but for a minute now we've been having a like you know years like this competition's been going for years and years and years to see how many guys can you fit in one shower and my sophomore year we actually broke the record by getting in that tiny maybe six by six space 31 Simpson men in a single shower are you kidding it was incredible Wait, you're a sophomore. That means that was our freshman. When did this happen?

That's true. This was actually... This was over fall break. You guys had both left. No, I don't leave. I was there. You were there? We both missed this?

How? Okay, wait, I have a question, though. Yeah, please do. Wait, is this behind the curtain or, like, in the actual, like, thing? Like, not including the rest of the bathroom? It was the bathroom, wasn't it? That's a good point. It was the bathroom.

That's still massive. That's still massive. So the bathroom, the bathroom basically has, it's that shower, and and then enough space for a toilet. And that's about it. That's it. So maybe six people could stand in there comfortably. One in the shower and like four around the toilet.

If that's about it. Three, that three is impressive. So basically what we had to do, I don't know how in the world you guys missed this? How were you not there? We both missed this. Honestly, I think I remember hearing about this,

but I had some stuff going on over Fall Break. That's true. There was some lore. Yeah. But tell us more. episode? Maybe for a later episode. But tell them how did this like come about? So first of all, um, what we had to do was get all of our, um, how did we do this? Let me remember. We started, obviously, by just squeezing as many people as we could onto the floor space as possible. And I think

we ended up getting 14 in the actual shower itself, um, which we got like seven on, you know, seven standing super crammed in, right. And then every single person picked up another person. And person and was like holding them close to them. Are you kidding me? I'm being completely serious right now. And we had guys sitting on top of the toilet, standing on it, holding people. We had people laying on top of other people. So it's like, you know, you know the thing that Notre Dame does when they score a touchdown

and people do push-ups on them. No one knows. You mean like a crowd surf? Yeah, like, okay. Like a crowd surf. Yes. We had people crowd surfing. Sounds like a lip party, bro.

It was 31, though? 31. I'm trying to fathom that. Eventually, like, that's a hall. That's a Simpson Hall. Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Good Lord. That's unreal. I, we're, me and my friends, uh, were talking about how many bathtubs we think we can fit in our bedroom. How many of the go? You know, like those old porcelain. Yeah. Like bathtubs. A bathtub. Like, if you could stack them. If you could stack them. If you could stack them. Like a couple dozen. So that's what I said. They were like, they were like five. And I was like, I could get. I could get. maybe 30. You can get a couple dozen in there if you're good enough at it. That's what I'm saying. Because you've got to get them vertical.

Easily. You put them like that. See, you guys are on my page. I was like, I could get so many bathtubs in there. In like a Simpson room? The thing is you have to actually get them in there. No, you don't. This is a hypothetical. Or not just get them in, but you have to like, you have to stack them yourself. Like, it's like how many could you like do in there? I can't pick up a tub.

Oh, could you personally stack? Well, you have help, but it's like how many can you fit in there with help? Oh, I mean. You've changed a question like four times already. If you have any If you have infinite manpower, the max, because then you just keep changing out dudes. I'm trying to express, the problem isn't, it's like, how many can you exactly fit in that space?

The problem is how many, like, you have to actually go in there and, like, put them where they are. Oh, how many guys do I get? As many as you need. I'm going to pick 10,000 and get all of them. Yeah, I mean, thank you. So I think, yeah, like 40 bathtubs. Oh, easy.

40? Easy. If you had no... 40 in a single role, the thing is they don't stack that nicely in each other. If you had no furniture in your Simpson room. Yeah. I bet you I could cram

50. 50 bathtubs? No way. That's no way. Florida ceiling. Do they stack like cups? Like does one fit inside another? No. They stack kind of,

they stack like half into each other. You know how bathtubs are? Yeah. You could get Florida ceiling. You could get six in a stack, I bet you. Yeah. You can get about six in a stem series. Our ceilings are tall.

You get about six. And you could probably fit about, let's see, maybe eight stacks? You can't. you've got to keep the sink that does hurt because you can probably only get one vertical on the sink

no can I get an R a sized room no that changes things that hurts that hurts a lot no you have to keep the sink and I don't have an RIA size room that hurts does that bring you down from your 50 yesterday

that bring you down to about yeah 25 30 so now each bathtub has a boy in it no I'm kidding okay we're not doing that now next question Nick now this wasn't a question This was four words, and it was a statement.

He didn't put a question, Mark, and I can't see how this is a question, but I feel like it's so weird that I need to hear what this means to you. All right, let's hear it. Now, these are the four words. Waffle House Starry Night. Yes. What does this mean? Mark's new poster.

Mark's new, Waffle House Starry Night, Mark's new poster. So I recently ordered a couple new decorations for my room. one of which was this poster that I found with Van Gogh's classic Starry Night in the background and a Waffle House superimposed on it. And it's currently hanging up on my room. Waffle House Starry Night. Waffle House Starry Night.

I don't even remember where I got it from, but it was, it's an elite poster. I mean... Wait, you put it above the door, right? It's above the door, yeah. So if you walk in and then turn around and look up above my door Waffle House Starry Night poster

As if it's like the Balthazar Malichore thing that you put above your door for Christmas Whenever you set out on a quest It's like... No, the BMC I know what he's talking about, yeah It's a Catholic thing

It's a Catholic thing, don't worry Got to put a blessing over your door For blessing, yeah That's right, that's what I... When I... Waffle House Starry night Prays up for the Waffle House Starry Night. Oh my gosh. Well, Mark, that's all the questions

that people had. You know, thanks for answering them. I think we've had a great conversation with just the questions. Storm, you mentioned that you had some events you wanted to get Mark's opinion on and just the general opinion of the room. We did tell people that this was kind of going to be a current events thing, and there are things going on in the world outside of the radio studio, if you can't believe that. No, I never leave. I can't. I'm trapped here as well, but I hear things are going on. For one, I hear that President's balls right around the corner. By the time this goes up, it might have already happened. Probably, considering we're recording the day before. You guys excited? I'm beyond excited.

Super excited. The theme this year is Casino Royale, you know the famous James Bond movie. Oh yeah. And they're gonna have poker tables, blackjack tables. It's gonna be awesome. I cannot wait. We're gonna have gambling. Mm-hmm. Apparently. That's what they said. Awesome. Boys only does not condone. Uh, no. Risky gambling. No. But it's gonna be a lot of fun. Play smart. Play smart. Play smart. Win. Don't lose. That's right. No one likes to lose. 99% of gamblers quit. right before.

They hit a big jackpot. That's a proven fact. I've heard that too. Words to live by. That's right. So we're going to go out. We're going to live it up. We're going to have a good time.

Everyone's going to pull up. Dr. Arn's there, right? He shows up for a little bit. He does. He shows up and he has a dance, right? I believe he has one dance. I think it is, um... It's with the...

It's Millie Rock. He Millie Rocks on the floor. Yeah, he's hiding in my sock running from the ops, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he says that. Yeah, he just sings Magnolia by Playboy Cardi, and then he leaves. Yeah.

Dr. Arn, big Cardi fan, confirmed. I want to see him do a backflip. I hear it Penny Arn prefers Drake, but that's only what I've heard. That's why I need a one dance. Yeah. Well, thanks everyone for joining us for the pilot of boys only. We will be back next time with more boys, more only. Nate, you got any closing words?

I mean, yeah, just thanks. You know, thanks Mark for showing up, showing. out. Hey, it was a pleasure. It's always always great to have a great conversation with Mark. And Storm, my wonderful co-host. Oh man. Love you, buddy. Love you more. We'll see y'all next week. See you.