WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - Delirium, Episode Two: A Mortal's Heart

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

In the conclusion to Delirium, Ariadne tells Dionysus of her fall from grace, reliving her most painful memories of the Minotaur and Theseus. Dionysus proves to love her despite her mistakes, but how can she bring herself to trust in the promises of a lover once again?With Katrin Surkan as Ariadne, Noah Abrudeanu as Dionysus, Erika Kyba as Narrator, Nathaniel Shackelford as the Minotaur, Kevin Pynes as Theseus, Sophia Kyba as Agnes, and Dr. Dutton Kearney as Daedalus. Written and produced by Erika Kyba.

Previously, on delirium, Dionysus sits across from her. The god of wine himself. He looks much more human than Ariadne would have expected a god to look. You're a shipwrecked princess who has seen men fall prey to rage. I want to know more. Someone will listen. Someone will know the truth. Theseus left me here to die.

He's told the world that you took your life after he abandoned you. I would not have another Theseus. You're afraid, then. To love and to trust after everything. It's a difficult thing. I want to tell you the rest of the story. I am your ready witness. You're listening to Delirium.

An audio drama brought to you by Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. On the desert island of Noxos, Ariadne and Dionysus exchanged the stories of their lives. Ariadne reveals the tragic fall of the Minotar and the tyranny of her father, while Dionysus tells her of his tenuous connection to the gods and his quest to understand love as mortals do. Ariadne finds herself falling in love with her wayfaring god quite against her will, and time will only tell whether she finds the courage to accept his love. At this moment, Ariadne has just told Dionysus how she learned the secret of the Minotar's labyrinth from Daedalus. But what she does with her newfound knowledge has yet to be revealed.

And your brother? Did you visit him once you learned the secret of the labyrinth? Ariadne turns her gaze to the dregs at the bottom of her goblet, swirling them around lightly. She peers at the pattern they make, as if they contain a murky oracle. After Dettelis comes a cascade of memories. Each more difficult for me to recount, there is something I wish to know first. He nods his assent. Ariadne shifts to face him, noticing how close they've come to each other. The wine has loosened her tongue.

But she still has to brace herself as if for a hard fall as she looks into his eyes and asks, Tell me. Do you love me? I do. I'm about to tell you. The part of the story where I no longer know what I am, hero or villain. I won't conceal my shame from you.

Can I trust your love to remain when all the dark things are accounted for? Darling, we all play both the hero and the villain at one time or another. I know this better than any. I'm a god of asymmetries. I love you when you're a hero, villain, helpless, master of your fate. A love that does not accept the whole person. It's not a love at all. Aren't you the philosopher?

Ariadne turns her gaze to the shore, watching the waves rush against it like a reckless lover, spreading along its length, a rising tide. His answer, in abating one fear, has inflamed another. Ariadne does not know how to believe in an earnest love, not anymore. Where are your thoughts? Ariadne closes her eyes, choosing to return to Crete in her mind. I am the reason my brother is dead. She had never expected to find an enemy in her brother. Never.

She had stayed awake long nights after learning the secret of the labyrinth, crafting a plan to unite the next band of Athenians to him. But this dream could never be. I finally went to see him. In the dead of night, armed with a flickering lantern and a plan to save us all. She remembers the pallid yellow glow of the lantern against the walls of the labyrinth, remembers the silent chill of the air. She remembers holding up the lantern in mute terror when she saw copious bloodstains on the wall.

My brother would never... Could never! She bit her lip hard to steady her trembling jaw, willing herself to stay calm and make no sound. She walked on. Fixing her gaze straight ahead, not allowing herself to look at the walls or the floor. Her brother would explain. There had to be an explanation. Her foot collided with something hard and hollow.

A human skull. A scream pierced her ears and she realized it was her own scream, her own throat sounding the alarm she'd refused to heed. There was an answering bellow, thundering foot. footsteps. Her brother appeared at the bend in the maze, towering above her. He had gotten so much bigger, so much angrier than she remembered. His pale horns glinted ominously. His eyes were unrecognizable, an animal, feral expression in them. Explain this! Something flickered in his eyes. Something human. His voice was thick, as though the language of men was unfamiliar on his tongue.

You must be ever. I will not. I want answers. Did you kill the Athenians that entered here? Her brother lowered his gaze. I'm not the brother you once knew. I've become the monster Minos always said I was. What happens within these walls is out of my control, and it is out of yours. By Zeus, brother, you are half man.

You must master the animal in you. You could win the Athenian youth to your side to be your allies. I'll teach you to escape the labyrinth, will run far away from Crete and put Minos behind us. Enough. I will not run. There is no place in the world where I am welcome. Then I will create one. I only ask you to come with me. Put this bloodshed behind you.

His eyes softened at her entreaty. Perhaps he seriously considered her appeal in that moment, but the animal in him was to win. His eyes grew darker. I will not grovel for allies. Then only spare their lives? For what? A slow death of starvation.

Violence a part of me. and I will have my sport. I owe no mercy to the world of men. If you persist in this, you will have me as an enemy. Your threat means nothing. Leave my labyrinth. With horror,

she saw the last traces of humanity flickering out of his eyes, the feral bluntness returning to them. This cannot be you. He slammed his fist into the wall two inches from her head. Ariadne, startled by his, his sudden violence, turned away from him, and began running. She dared to pause at the end of the corridor and glance back at him. He had his head buried in his hands.

She thought she heard choked sobs, but perhaps they were a magic. She hurriedly retraced her steps through the labyrinth, fighting back tears. I did not only weep for having lost another brother. I wept because the Minotaur had to die. If I was to save the Athenians, he had to die. You were not the one to kill him. I might as well have been. I gave Theseus all he needed to do it.

I wondered when that name would make an appearance. Ariani looks at Dionysus, his dark curls lifted by the evening breeze, and she tries to remember what it was to love Theseus. Her passion for the Athenian hero has long faded. And her newly kindled love for Dionysus makes it difficult to recount the rushes of affection, the delicate bonds that cemented into the visor grip that Theseus had once over her heart. What was he like when you knew him? Courageous.

Ready to do anything that I had planned. He became everything I needed. An ally, a soldier, a bosom friend, a lover, all in the space of mere day. The stubborn princess admits she needed a lover. And why shouldn't I? That tenderness you spoke of, that only mortals are capable of, we live off it. We crave it. And when someone proposes to love you and know you in ways no one ever did before,

well, suddenly you find it difficult to live without them. I'm sure he was not the first to seek your love. No, but he was the first to treat me as an equal. Ariadne had snuck into the living quarters of the captive Athenians and the dead of night. Most of them shrunk back at her eagerness to help them, looking distrustful. Then Theseus stepped forward. He was much taller than her, built like a fortress. His face like chiseled stone, hard against the world.

me what I must do. Six words. One moment of kinship that passed between the two of them. This was all Ariadne needed to fall in love. Pathetic, isn't it? I don't think so. Only fools mock lovers. Zeus himself mocks lovers.

Precisely. Continue. I withheld nothing from him. From that moment. There were two days, until the sacrifice. I mapped out for him my plan to defeat the Minotaur, my brother.

He and I thought of every possibility, every contingency, he became my second mind. He became more than that. Jealous? No. Liar. Ariani can see how his eyes darken. She wonders whether she should spare this part of the story.

They could let dead bones rest, But Ariadne is possessed by the telling of her story, and Dionysus is her witness, a captive audience and a captive speaker. She must finish the tale. We planned for long hours into the night, and at night barriers grow weak. Inhibitions disappear. We began to talk of dreams, of hopes for life beyond the labyrinth. I was 27 years of age, still trapped in the prison my father had designed. Theseus was a hero that had seen the wider world and could show it to me.

It was only a matter of time before. She'd appeared in Theseus' chamber the night before he was to enter the labyrinth. She'd promised to steal and bring him her father's finest sword, and she'd borne it to him, her hands trembling under its weight. Please. Please be careful. He lifted the sword from her hands, his flinty gray eyes unwavering. She wished she was fearless like him, less tortured, less unsure.

You love me, don't you? It was blunt, clinical, a statement of fact. Ariadne takes a shaky breath. Don't you hate it? When someone unravels your heart without your permission? To think that my pulse throbbed and my eyes shimmered with desire and he saw all of this as I was trying to contain it. But you did not love him. You idolized him. He was everything you longed to be, or so you imagined. Perhaps. But at any rate, I believed I loved him. I always thought that to love was to give, and I did give. I gave him. I gave him everything else.

I had. She gave Theseus her plans, her care, and that night, all the rest of her. He seduced her with a practiced ease, whispering everything she had always longed to hear, tilting her chin up so that she met his gaze, stroking her hair. He was gentle with her, guessing at her inexperience. He was gentle until he was certain she had yielded. What is honor or dignity in the grips of hot blood? He was the only object of my desire in years. He promised to transport me from my caged life. I allowed him everything in exchange for that.

Ariadne wants back every piece of herself that she gave to Theseus, but she feels that she has lost something irrevocably. She wants to cry and allows herself to cry, bitter tears streaking down her face. She shudders, burying her face in her hands, shielding herself from the gaze of Dionysus. Do you despise me for what I did? You think I would despise you for being taken advantage of?

I wouldn't fault you for it. I despise myself as though everything he touched turned to mire. The heat from the fire is beginning to oppress her, and she abruptly pushes herself to her feet. turning away and walking further down the shore. Dionysus follows. I woke up to the chill of the morning. Theseus was gone.

I told myself I was a new woman, ready to see a wider world than Crete to be the bride of Theseus. I was a hero. Theseus was about to put an end to the sacrifices, and it was because of me. And yet. And yet. I knew something was wrong. In the night I had believed that what I did with Theseus was an act of freedom, an act of love. But I still felt caged. I still felt alone, perhaps even more so.

She snuck into the castle to retrieve a small bag of her possessions. Nothing more than a light tunic, a hairbrush, a few other things that she thought would be. useful. On an impulse, she snatched up her crown and slipped it into her bag. She moved swiftly, mechanically. Somewhere in the labyrinth, either her lover or her brother was about to die. She tried not to think of this, or indeed to think at all. She had chosen her course. It was too late for anything else. I waited for him on the boat he'd sent for. He'd arranged for a fleet of Athenian vessels to come disguised as trading ships. Ariadne begins wading into the water.

It is cold, numbing her ankles. Theseus returned, carrying my brother's head by the horns. I felt my legs grow weak. Before I was aware of what had happened, my knees had slammed against the ship's step. Theseus had grinned so proudly. The grin of a hero who slays an irritative. But Ariadne had known this beast before he was evil. She shared a mother with him.

To see his gory remains paraded about, the blood dripping from his neck, the eyes glazed over, an expression of fury and horror frozen across his face, oh, and to know that she was responsible for it. Do you regret it? The lives we saved. I do regret what I had to do to save them. I believed myself a hero until I realized how thoroughly my brother's blood had stained my hands. That day, I lost what little semblance of a family I had ever had. Just as the ship was leaving port with all haste, as Ariadne was clinging to Theseus, tears streaming down her face.

Minos rushed onto the crag. When he saw Ariadne, his countenance darkened. He was too far away to speak and be heard, but he spoke anyway. I watched his mouth form one single word. Or! Such a squalid word! Why do they brand us with it, Dionysus? Everything I did with Theseus I did for love!

I approached him as something sacred. Theseus, he approached me as a conquest, made a trophy of my very body, as he did to many others before and after me. And I am the whore in all this? The waves crash against her knees, unsteadying her. Dionysus reaches out to help her, but he hesitates, withdrawing his hand. Ariadne remembers then how she has not let him touch her yet. Everyone who uses that word

Fear something in themselves Oh, do not tell me your answer to all this Is unrestrained liberation You misunderstand my meaning Condemming a deed is one manner And reviling a person is another To use such a word is to make a woman Into a symbol of everything you hate in yourself

If they pillory you, Ariadne It is not for what you did It is for every wicked thought They ever toyed with in the dead of night I want someone to see me as I am. I do. I always have. Ariadne does not answer.

She reaches for his hand instead, and this is reply enough. He seems surprised at the gesture, and his hand folds around hers. It is the first time Ariadne has felt another person's touch in months. There is a quiet intimacy. and taking another by the hand, a silent agreement to be joined together against the rolling waves. Unshed tears sting Ariadne's eyes

and threaten to spill, because now, more than simply loving Dionysus, Ariadne has begun to trust him. Perhaps this is the final blow of Aphrodite, to make lovers believe that anything can last. She refuses to think any more of what the future might threaten. It leads deeper into the water, pulling Dionysus after her. There is nothing but the ocean.

And nothing but the night. The waves are wild and the night is cold. But Dionysus' hand remains warm even as Arianez begins to chill. Do gods ever feel the cold? No. We're at ease in all temperatures and we're hurt by nothing. Cold, heat, poison, injury. We're immune to all of it.

They are deep enough now that Ariani can kick her legs off of the ocean floor and float upon her back. Mortals are too easily hurt. You should enjoy your blessings. You're easily hurt, yes, but that may be what teaches you to love. I wish that we're not so. When they return to the shore, Ariadne catches sight of her crowns sparkling in her rucksack as the firelight hits it. She stoops to pick it up, turning it over in her hands. I wonder where we would be if you had never asked to hear the story behind this crown. I would that the whole world knew it.

I only needed one witness. Besides, it's not possible to reach the whole world from here. Oh, but it is, may I? Dionysus extends his hand. Curious, Ariani hands the crown to him. He flings the diadem into the sky. But to Ariadne's surprise, it does not come back down. Instead, stars began flickering into existence where there was nothing but empty darkness before.

They formed the shape of a crown. Her crown. The jewels immortalized as glittering orbs of light in the night sky. Ariadne stares in wonder. Every constellation tells a story. This one will tell yours. The whole world will see it and remember your world. and remember your name.

Thesis can utter whatever lies he likes, but the very sky will rebuke him. Ariadne is looking at the sky in rapture. Dionysus is only looking at her. Would you marry me? Mary? Her first instinct is joy, overwhelming joy,

that Dionysus really does mean to stay by her side. Yet something feels wrong. Something unsettles her. chilling her joy. We can travel the world together. Start an empire. I can take you anywhere you like, give you anything you ask for.

But Ariadne does not want to leave this island. She wants nothing but infinite languor. She wants only to be with Dionysus. To be with him... Forever. It would be the two of us forever, doing whatever pleases us. Something in the reckless confidence of his words

makes Ariadne wince. Forever? Dionysus. I am immortal. I am immortal. There is no forever for me. As soon as she says this, she realizes how blind she has been to fall in love with him. A fog is lifting from her mind. The delirium is passing. I will find a way to make you immortal.

No. This isn't right. Darling? What's wrong? When? Has a god ever loved a mortal without ruining her? Think of Apollo and down. Nathony, Altheus and Arithousa, Zeus and any one of his lovers, Dionysus looks wounded at the comparison, and Ariadne hates herself for what she is doing to him, for giving him hope only to snatch it away.

I'm not like those gods. I would never force anything upon you. If you don't love me... I do love you! Then why do you object to being my bride? I could make you an immortal goddess. Eos made the same promises to Titherto. promises to Tithonus.

You cannot make me that which I was not born to be. Then, what would you have me do? You must do everything you've always wanted to. Rescue your mother from Hades. Conquer new lands. Become a lawgiver. I want you by my side while I do this. He extends his hand to her.

Ariani imagines a future with him, Wild forays into unfamiliar lands. A kind of life she has never known. A kind of love she has never experienced. She begins reaching for his hand, aching to take it, aching to follow him to the ends of the earth. But then she remembers the things that Theseus once whispered to her. She thinks of all his empty promises to stay with her always,

to make her the happiest woman alive. Has she learned nothing? After all, this time. Dionysus cannot promise her immortality or happiness or even his own heart. Their life together, if Ariadne were to choose it, would be filled with uncertainties. Here on Noxos, Ariadne has experienced certainty. Peace, a life where she depends on no one. She will not give that up. She won't.

Dionysus must pursue his destiny and Ariadne must abide by her. hers. She was never meant for happiness. She will not dare to ask the gods for more than this small corner of the world. She withdraws her hand. You cannot leave this island? Then let me stay. Ariani turns from him. She keenly feels the beads of water still on her skin. The way her soaked dress clings to her body. The soft crackling of the fire that has still not gone out. She focuses on the of this moment as if that is all there is. Otherwise she will go mad. She knows she will.

Go pursue your new world, Dionysus. Leave me to mine. He is silent. Ariadne breathes in and out. She braces herself against the night breeze. She waits for a reply or for the sound of fading footsteps. She hears nothing. When she turns around, Dionysus is gone.

Ariadne waits for the world to feel like it used to. She waits for days, weeks, months. Noxos begins to feel like another cage, another labyrinth. Only Ariadne has chosen to shut herself up inside it. She goes about her business as usual. She sets small traps for games. wanders the woods, spends more hours than she can count ruminating in the oasis at the center of the forest. Sometimes she sees Agnes watching her with cold yet pitying eyes.

They do not speak to one another. Ariadne has won her petty victory, and Aphrodite has not had her way. Every day feels empty without a second set of footsteps beside hers. It's as if her heart disappeared with Dionysus, as if he spirited it away. She feels numb, incomplete. She desires nothing, exactly as she hoped. Nothing except the wayfaring God she drove away from her. She wonders where he is now.

She imagines him leading a great nation, sometimes even smiles at the thought of him as a sober, She wonders whether he has taken another lover. Perhaps one of his Maynads will become his queen. One night, Ariadne dreams of him. He is running through a cave's dark passageway, dimly lit by torches with pale, blue flames. Ugly spines of rock protrude from the ceiling of the cave, hovering dangerously close to the top of his head. But Ariadne does not observe the scene so much as feel it herself.

She feels his heart, thundering in his chest, senses a desperation that claws at him. He clutches a woman's hand, though Ariadne cannot discern the woman's face or figure. Behind them, Ariadne hears a rumbling, guttural growl. As the growl grows louder, Dionysus pushes faster, until he catches his shoulder on a low-hanging stalact. Stone rips through flesh, trailing across his arm. Ariani senses the white-hot pain vividly, waking the start. She sits up straight, clutching her arm. Strange.

She feels no pain now, though it all felt so real while she dreamed. She pushes herself to her feet, wanders toward the ocean. She stares up at the sky. Tears spring to her eyes at the sight of her constellation. The one Dionysus gave to her not quite so long ago. What does it mean? This dream that she has had.

If it is a premonition of some sort, then what kind of trial will Dionysus' face that could possibly inspire such terror in a god? Could he be in danger? No, she thinks. He is immortal. Surely he will emerge unscathed. The whole vision must be

the fruit of her idle mind. Gods cannot experience the kind of pain that Ariadne just envisioned. Yet Ariadne worries all the same about his fate, deathless though he is, and she misses him acutely. This night vision has inflamed her longing for Dionysus, and it sets her to weeping. Strangely, Ariadne has found herself weeping more as time passes, as if time, Instead of healing her, carves deeper into her. She curses herself for letting him leave,

but she still cannot imagine wetting a god as a mortal, fading like a primrose as he blooms in all seasons. Nor can she imagine giving up her mortality. Ariadne is woman, and to be woman is to no suffering. To be human is to feel pain, to shed blood, to shed tears. Dionysus was right all along about the value of a mortal's misery.

Ariadne imagines herself as an untouchable goddess and knows that she would lose her soul to become this. She and Dionysus were never meant to be lovers, but she knows that this is not the only reason she would not let him stay. She denied him her heart out of fear, and for that she will never forgive herself. Ariadne builds herself a fire every night, but no one sits by her side, and no one speaks to her in these lonely hours. One night, she finds herself staring, entranced, as the flames lap up the kindling, leaving only ash behind.

This is the gift of Prometheus, she thinks, warmed at the cost of destruction. She reaches out, her fingers just barely hovering over the flames. She wonders if it would really be so painful to let the blaze lick her hands, to feed the fire with pieces of herself. Careful. You'll burn yourself. That voice. Ariadne recognizes it immediately. It's you.

And when she turns, Dionysus is there. He looks the same. Wild curls, leopard skin, enchanting dark eyes. And yet, and yet You have a scar! Ariadne runs to his side. The scar is an angry,

jagged line from his shoulder to his elbow. I didn't think! The wind picks up, and Ariadne watches the goosebumps raise across his skin. And you're cold, you're... Mortal. Ariadne touches his scar gently,

and there is no mistaking it. Its edges are rough, marring the canvas of his skin. He has become a mortal man. To be yours. What of your mother? And the new lands you were to conquer?

They sit by the fire together, and Dionysus tells her what has happened since he left Naxos. The very day he left the island, he went on a journey to the heart of Hades to rescue his mother. But before he left the underworld, he approached his uncle with a request. I asked Hades to make me human. I asked him for the gift of mortality.

He was hesitant to grant it, told me there would be no going back after he took away my divinity. But I knew what I wanted. What you have always wanted? Indeed. And your mother? She gave me her blessing. She believes that the greatest gift is to be human,

to love with a mortal's heart. We stayed on the earth together for many days before I took her to Olympus. She was reluctant to become a goddess. Yet she agreed. Well, she said that someone needed to watch over us. She doesn't trust the other Olympians as far as she can throw them. She will be a great goddess.

She will be. Although, you should have seen Hera's face when I brought her to Olympus for the first time. But tell me, Dionysus. What of your quest to become a great lawgiver? A king. That is what I intend to do next. But I know it will mean nothing. Without you by my side.

We mustn't waste another minute, then. She knows what she is agreeing to. She can envision the perilous journeys, the arguments, and the tears just as clearly as the adventure, the bliss, the children with his dark curls and her blue eyes. Perhaps she is mad to test the benevolence of the fates. But Ariadne will choose a treacherous, unpredictably dangerous world over the safety and sterility of Noxos.

if it means she can stay by his side. Her fingers are entwined with his now, and she intends to keep it that way. She turns her gaze back to the fire. It is strange to think that, at this very place, she and Dionysus exchanged the whole stories of their lives. They were stories that felt so weighty, so consequential as they were told.

But now, Ariadne cannot shake the sensation that their old lives were mere dreams, wispy as tendrils of smoke, as if the real story of their lives is only beginning now. You've been listening to the conclusion of Delirium, an audio drama brought to you by WRFH, with Katrin Sirkan as Ariadne, Noah Abrudanu as Dionysus, Erica Kaiba as narrator,

Nathaniel Shackleford as the Minotar, Kevin Pines as Theseus, Sophia Kaiba as Agnes, and Dr. Dutton Carney as Dettelis, written and produced by Erica Kaiba. You can find both episodes of the drama on Spotify or YouTube. Thank you for listening.