WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - Fact of Life: The Building Blocks: A Series on the Nuclear Family Part 4

Episode Date: September 7, 2024

Join Chloe Noller and Mattingly Watson in their final discussion on the nuclear family centered around the modern-day struggles that children and families face. 

Hey, Chloe, what does the United Nations have to say about children's rights? You know what? It actually has a lot to say. Let's talk about it. Culture, faith, and so much more. This is Fact of Life with Chloe Nuller and Maddie Lee Watson on Radio Free Hillsdale, 101.7 FM. Welcome back to the Fact of Life. Thank you so much for tuning in. We are so excited for our episode today. Today we're really going to wrap up that nuclear family series talking about the nuclear family and the building blocks of society. We've taken a look at the history of the nuclear family. Ask the question if it's a modern concept. We've also looked at when the progressives started to attack the nuclear family.

We've also kind of looked at some of the major consequences of society without the nuclear family. And in today's episode, we're really going to wrap up what we've been talking about, looking at the consequences for the children specifically from marriages between same-sex individuals or transgender individuals, that kind of thing, also talking about abortion, IVF, and adoption, and things like that, and just really talk about the rights of children and the harm that not having a nuclear family with a mom and a dad can have on them. Yeah, exactly. And I think we're in like a really neat place, right?

now with where we're at in life because obviously you know we're just coming out of our like childhood years kind of on their seating end of that but we're also just now getting old enough to the point like I mean Chloe and I aren't getting married and having a family anytime soon but like we're getting close like that age where like yeah that that could be like the next life steps you know so it's kind of like in that in between phase where we're about to maybe enter one in years from now and then like coming out of the other but what's cool is that in researching for this episode. We got to read some really interesting stories and statistics in a book called Them Before Us, Why We Need a Global Children's Rights Movement by Katie Faust and Stacey Manning.

And the story of how we got this book is actually pretty interesting. So a few weeks ago, Chloe and I had the honor of speaking at one of Hillsdale Colleges Center for Constructive alternatives series, which they host twice a semester and, you know, different people come in from out of town to listen to it. And we got to present on our show and all the different things that come with that, specifically talking about some of our episodes. But afterwards, this really wonderful lady came up to us and she very kindly offered to send us this book for free. And so we got to read it. Neither Chloe or I had read it before. And so a lot of what we, a lot of what you'll hear from us today and kind of some of our talking points are, you know, stories we read in here, the statistics

that, you know, Katie Faust and Stacey Manning made in here. But it's definitely, it's a super interesting read. I think definitely provides some different perspectives, kind of a different take that at least I personally haven't seen all of the time from media. I think it gives it a new perspective that's definitely really enlightening. Yeah, definitely. I really appreciated her approach. really just gave a great argument from both sides, really, of the effects of, you know, the lack of a strong mom and a dad for a family. And so what I thought was interesting is she starts with the United Nations. And she talks about articles that are written about human rights and children's rights. And crazily enough, all of these countries agree on what the rights of children should be

and are. And it's really interesting when you take a little bit. at it because a lot of the things that the United Nations, all of the, like, the nations in the United Nations agree on that children have a right to. It's interesting when you look at it that children are not actually given these rights these days, especially in America and especially in places that are really supporting abortion, supporting the LGBTQ movement and supporting transgenderism and same-sex marriages. And so we just kind of want to take a look at some of these articles. It's kind of crazy. They say that in Article 7, it said they should be registered immediately after birth and have the right to a name, the right to a nationality, and as far as

possible, the right to know and be cared for by his or her parents. Article 8 talks about the respect of the right of the child to preserve her identity and family relations. It says that the child shouldn't be separated from her parents against their will, except when separation is necessary for the best interests of the child. And I think what you find in this, and something that she says in the book, is that abortion and reproductive technologies, she says they're adult-centric. They focus on the adult above the child. It's not about the child's rights anymore. It's about the adults. And something that I love, she said, is she said, children are not items to be cut and pasted into any and every adult relationship. Children are the subjects of rights, not the

objects of rights. Yeah, what I find interesting, I love how she started the book talking about the United Nations. And I love these articles that Chloe pointed out because it's, you know, looking at the United Nations. These are cultures spanning across the globe. So many different governments as well, not all of them republics like ours are, like ours is. But this really falls back on like natural right theory, which like, you know, our government in the United States, like, was founded on, like, the belief that we all have natural rights and not all governments are, but looking at these articles from the United Nations, I mean, they very heavily rely on natural rights and what, you know, people just have a right to as a human being. And that's what these kids have a right to,

no matter what government they're in, no matter what culture they're in, it's cross-cultural, you know, spanning across all of these things. But when it comes down to it, you see this deep right for family. And I think that's interesting because looking in the past, no matter what culture you were in, like we've talked about with a nuclear family, there was such a reliance on family. And I think that through caring and relying on your family, it didn't take away your individuality, but it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, accentuated it. And I think nowadays people are are neglecting these things that, you know, even the United Nations agreed on. Yeah. And they're just not accepting those anymore when it's not,

it's not political. It's not a conservative movement to try to start forcing people to abide by this family structure. No, I mean, you can see that the right to family in these natural family structures not only have spanned across time like we've discussed, but as you can, can see with the United Nations have spanned across space, many cultures, many eras. Yeah, like these are things that we agree on. And it's not, uh, it's not out of an agenda. It's out of genuinely what is best for these people. And, and something article 18 is something that I think is crazy because it says, states parties shall use their best efforts to ensure recognition of the principle that both parents have common responsibilities for the upbringing and

development of the child. There's responsibility. I love that word, responsibility. And so what I think is interesting is that you kind of see a change in America, especially when Obogaral v. Hodges came down from the Supreme Court. Katie Faust has a quote here from a woman who had parents that were of the same sex, and she said that Obargoville v. Hodges made it possible for my mom and her partner to marry as they so choose. And at the same time, in effect, it destroyed the right they had, or I had, to both my father and my mother.

Our Supreme Court has essentially ruled that both parents were not critical to my health, development, and identity. Nothing could be farther from the truth. So true. Well, and I think, too, is what a modern day interpretation of that, like, everyone that has the right to be supported about what Article 18 said that, you know, both parents have responsibilities for the upbringing and development of their child, what a lot of modern, especially liberal interpretations of that mean, you know, it's just, oh, provide money for them.

Like, send in your check. Like, you know, that kind of thing. But another, some stats that Kady Faust brought up in her book, like 90% of homeless and runaway youths are fatherless. And then, of course, you know, homelessness in the life of runaways, those are common gateways sex trafficking. Um, 70 to 85% of prison inmates grow up without a father. 63% of teenagers who end up committing suicide have absent fathers like 71% of pregnant teenagers come from fatherless home 71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes and like the stats just go on and on

and it's like you can be living in a fatherless home and still be in the check from the father like I think and you know obviously like we've discussed before there's a lot of negatives going up in a motherless home as well but there's I don't know I think there's such a reliance on money as what providing for means. But when it comes down to it, it's just, it's not,

you know, it's not, we shouldn't be a money-based anything, but especially, like, that's not, you don't raise a kid on money. If you raise a kid on money, you raise a brat. Like, right, right.

Well, you know, it's just crazy because when you start getting into the same-sex marriages realm, um, you're looking at, um, the biology and the gender, um,

and this matters for these kids. men and women both bring complementary benefits to child rearing. So when you have one missing, particularly the male, she says predictable patterns of early sexual behavior among girls and criminal behavior among boys rise. And that's just because they're missing their dad. And it's so, so sad. She says sociologists overwhelmingly agree outcomes for children are best when the children are raised by their married mother and father, a consensus backed by decades of research on marriage and family. And these aren't right-wing social scientists. These aren't left-wing social scientists. As taken as a whole, everyone agrees that these things actually matter.

Yeah. And I don't know. It's just incredible to me how the, like Chloe's saying, like how this married father and mother home isn't seen. I think we can all acknowledge the differences. Like Chloe said, like, you know, we can all acknowledge differences between man and woman and how they help impact someone. And so it's, these are stats. I mean, these are from not right-wing people, but it's still showing that your mother is going to affect you in a way that your father isn't in the same way with your father. And I think the reason there's such an emphasis on fatherless homes, is because there are more of them. It's just a lot more common for there to be fatherless homes.

Really, there shouldn't be either. I think that's a large emphasis. But still, it's just like, biologically, you're looking at it. And men and women are very different creatures that bring different things to the table. And it's like you can't raise one child on one half of it. Like, that's not biologically what was intended to happen. Right. And she has this whole chapter and she includes a lot of anecdotes.

and there's specifically one story that just really jumped out to me. She records this woman who grew up with two mothers. She said, the pain in my life did not stem from the state of not recognizing the relationship between my two moms. It stemmed from the turmoil of desperately wanting a father. I love my mom, deeply, fiercely, and unconditionally. She's an incredible woman, but I also love my absent father. I love a man whom I don't even know.

A man who, by all accounts, is allowed to be. father. I don't know why I love him. I just do. I ached for my father to love me. I ached for the father I knew I would never have. This is the ache that women have in their hearts when they're growing up without a father and that leads them to search for a resolution, a satisfaction to that hole in all of the wrong places, which leads to more early pregnancies, which leads to more homelessness and more brokenness. It's a cycle that doesn't stop. It's vicious. also like an important thing with that is yes it leads to like early pregnancies homelessness things like that but when you don't have like if you're a girl and you don't have that father in

your home um ideally a you know a good a good father in your home your parents are married that kind of thing like the kind of life we're talking about that we should all be supporting and promoting and trying to make universal um you don't have a good example of what your future spouse should look like. Exactly. You know, like, if you grow up without a father, how are you supposed to know, like, oh, like, this is how, this is how a man should treat a woman. This is how someone, this is how my future spouse, my future boyfriend, however should

be, should be treating me. You see that example in your parents. You parents aren't going to be perfect, but it's also in like, in how they treat each other and how they treat the family. and you can't be expected. Like, you have no example of that. And it works the same way if you're a son without a mother. I mean, that's even harder to know how to treat your life.

And a son without a dad? Like, there's no guidance. How is he supposed to know how to be a good boyfriend and a good husband? Yeah, yeah. And there's one more story that I'll read about this specific topic. And it's just, again, it's just heart-wrenching. Again, another woman. She says, am I the only one who feels this way?

Am I a bad daughter because I wish I had a dad? Is there anyone else who has two moms or two dads who wonders what it would be like if they were born into a normal family? Is there anyone else who wants to be able to use the word normal without getting a lecture on what is normal? I don't know my real father, and I never will. It's weird, but I miss him. I miss this man I will never know. Is it wrong for me to long for a father like my friends have? She has two brothers, and I play basketball with them all the time.

It feels so amazing to be included in their family. when I am there, I think this is what it's like to be in a family that has a mom and a dad. It's just heart-wrenching. But these are the facts of what happens when these beautiful children are being raised in families without a mother and a father. And it's not just in same-sex marriages. We also wanted to touch on IVF and surrogacy. So in vitro fertilization, which is kind of a hot topic right now. It is.

Especially with the Supreme Court in Alabama? Was it or Arkansas? I don't think it was Arkansas. Yeah, you would know. I would have mentioned that. It was Alabama then. But just these decisions about IVF and again, there's a lot of stories in that book just about these kids that have grown up, they know. It was Alabama, by the way.

Okay, that's what I thought. Yeah, yeah. But these kids that have grown up in homes that, you know, and maybe they are born into a family with actual a mom and a dad, but typically IVF is used for people who want to have a child or like surrogacy is used in these cases. IVF isn't necessarily used solely for that, but surrogacy is. Or the mom doesn't carry the child or like someone else will carry the child for two fathers typically. And that's just even worse because you may not even have either of your biological parents with you. Like you're just born into a family is not related to you at all.

The hard thing about, I don't know, IDF and surrogacy are two very different things. So it's hard to talk about them. They definitely have a lot of overlapping things. Definitely. And I think it is a hot topic. Even amongst, you know, Christians and conservatives. So I think that's, it's, I don't know, normally the things we talk about, like, a lot of, like, Christians and conservatives would agree with us. But I think we would maybe find some, it's not backlash, but there's some, like, differences in this.

but a lot of times IVF is used like when women like can't get pregnant and things like that on one hand it's like oh well like I just don't know I don't know it's it's so odd it's like but you want them to get pregnant but it's also like but this isn't natural like this isn't the way it was intended and and what happens is it also just it makes you think it makes it forces you to realize where does life begin life begins at conception which means that these you know if you have what eight eggs and and the sperm are frozen right you choose two you still have six other kids that are just in a freezer that's very very wrong and i yeah like i personally am very against ibf um yeah and surrogacy both both things i think if you want children and i understand

the pain like i mean i'm not saying i understand the pain but like i understand that the pain that you yeah you don't you don't necessarily empathize with the pain but you like you right But like that's a hard thing. Like you, you won't ever be able to experience that natural motherhood that we all long for. Yeah. Um, as women.

Yeah. I think my, my understanding of it and even my opinion on the topic has definitely changed as I've gotten older and like started to see it. Cause on one hand I'm like, yeah, like I want to, I want to empathize with these people. And I've seen, you know, whether it's like people I follow on social media or things like that or that I've been through this. But also, you know, I'm, I am going to, I'm going to have to agree with Chloe on it.

I just, it just doesn't seem, it's not natural. And I don't, those kids in those freezers. I mean, if you really believe that like life begins at conception, how many lives are in freezers right now. There's millions. It poses an interesting question. It's like, do you want those, like, frozen embryos to, like, be, like, put in women and, like, have those children, like, yes, those are kids, you want them to grow up.

People adopt them all the time. I think that's beautiful. I think it's beautiful, but I think it also encourages the practice. Well, I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to be honest. I do not know enough about the topic to like, yeah, I do not know enough about a topic to be considered like an expert by any means. Like I am no means an expert.

But I do think it's beautiful when people do adopt the frozen embryos. But still, it's just, it's a weird, it's also weird that we have the technology to do this. I know. Like, it's kind of odd when you think about it. Yeah. Well, and with IVF and surrogacy, it kind of brings in adoption. That's the final thing we're going to talk about. And I have a part of a family that has adopted two kids.

It's just most incredible blessing. They're both older than I am. I've never known life without them. But adoption is beautiful. It is incredible that there can be such redemption out of such dark situations. And I've just seen God's grace so clearly and evidently through adoption. I also just wanted to kind of close out. this episode kind of taken it back to where we all began.

In Genesis, we kind of started there. You know, what does family look like? What does marriage look like? What are these roles that God has created for the family? And I just wanted to go back and read and read that part from Genesis. Genesis 218, it says, Then the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make a helper fit for him.

He talks about the animals and says, but for Adam, there was not a helper. were found fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept, he took one of the ribs, closed up its place with flesh. And the red that the Lord God had taken from the man, he made into a woman, and brought her to the man. Then the man said, this at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. That is God designed for the family. It kind of shows this intentionality that God created

the man for the woman and the woman for the man. They are supposed to be, they're created for each other, to help each other, to support each other, to grow in love for God and with each other together, and to create a family. God says after this, be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. And family is beautiful. This is this basic building block structure that God has. created for society. And that's why it's so integral that we maintain the integrity of the family. Yes, absolutely. I mean, I think it's cool that, you know, through this series we've gotten to look at the biblical aspects of it, cultural, biological, you know, all support those biblical aspects of it. But thank you guys so much for joining along with us. I think that this especially is a very

good topic to discuss and research further. I mean, we'll definitely research it further and encourage you guys to research it further as well at this kind of, you know, this phase of our life where we should be informed about these things. So thank you so much for joining us. It has been a great series. As always, my name is Chloe Noel. And I'm Maddingley Watson. And this is fact of life. The fact of life podcast can be found at at fact of life podcast on Instagram or at fact of life pod on Twitter. Reach out to the host at fact of life podcast at gmail.com or send a message on Instagram or Listen to the fact of life anywhere you get your podcast, especially right here on Radio Prehillsdale 101.7 FM. Thank you so much for tuning in, and we'll see you next time on The Fact of Life.