WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - The Importance and Necessity of Fathers: Fathers' Day Edition

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

In honor of Fathers' Day, Michaela discusses the unique role fathers bring to families and the related impact on society. She also emphasizes fathers' duty in imitating God's love as a Father and Christ's love for the Church. 

Hello and welcome to Strength and Dignity. This is Michaela Estruth and you're listening to Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. So a couple weeks ago, I did a Mother's Day edition on Strength and Dignity, honoring our mothers. And I thought it would be appropriate to likewise do a Father's Day edition after Father's Day was celebrated this past Sunday because the importance of both and the necessity of both fathers and mothers is something that I think we overlook in our culture today or say that parenting is just parenting. It doesn't matter your gender or the role that you play. There are no roles.

And yet, I think the design of male and female and the design of father and mother is extremely significant and evidence shows that there is failure and pain and hurt when this design isn't followed. So to start off, I do want to use, use a video from live action, which is a pro-life organization. I'm sure many people are familiar with it. And this is a video, part of a video series of what they termed the truth about sex. And it's several videos long, but this specific video is called The Crisis of Fatherlessness. You can go to

their website, liveaction.org, to access all of the videos. And I'm just going to play a little, a couple clips from these videos. And Lila Rose, the founder of live action, is the speaker in these videos. Men matter. Their presence, engagement, and most of all, the faithful commitment that they have to offer matters. I love you totally and completely. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. We need strong men. Did you know that the United States has the highest share of single parenting in the world at 23%, which is nearly one and four children? This is over three times the worldwide average. And most single parent homes, about 80%, are led by single moms. Almost one in five children in the United States live with a single mom. Where are all the dads?

So that's just a taste. And she in the video dives into what she calls the crisis of fatherlessness. So where of all the dads gone and what impact does this have on our society and culture? And so I wanted to build upon that essentially saying that families are the building blocks of society. We've known that for basically as long as history. That every individual is part of a family. And families, form societies. But that's why that family breakdown results in societal and cultural breakdown. And so even within the family, there's structure, there's order, there's a design that should be followed. Otherwise, painful results occur. And so fathers as leaders of their family are implementing that stability, that security for children, the love he has for his wife and for his

children as an example to them as humble leaders of the family. And statistics show that children with absent fathers are more likely to suffer from depression, mental illness, suicidal thoughts, as well as the statistics indicate that children coming from broken homes are more likely to have drug and alcohol addictions or even commit crimes. In its heartbreaking, and obviously statistics and data isn't condemning. I know it's a dear, dear family from my hometown who I had the privilege of nannying the kids, five children, and that family was rejected by their dad. The husband just left. And it's heartbreaking, but that doesn't mean that those children are doomed to follow these statistics. But it does mean that the absence of a

father is significant upon any family. And it has life. lifelong impact. So dads are supposed to be present. They're supposed to be examples to their children of how to love a wife one day, how to love children, and how to glorify God in all that he does. I think of my own dad the way that he sacrifices for our family and also the way that in everything that he does, he's very mission-oriented. He's very gospel-oriented. Kingdom-oriented is the phrase that he often uses, that he's working on this earth, but it's for God's kingdom. So he stewards his time well for the glory of God and everything that he does is to bring glory and honor to Christ and to the kingdom, which has great impact on me and how I perceive the world,

what I think, my own worldview, and where I want to go and what I want to do, same with my sisters, same with everyone in my family. So now that I've emphasized the importance of dads and why they are necessary to families, but also to society at large, let's dive in to the design of mothers and fathers. And I mentioned this before, but it's not just a single job. It's not just parenting is parenting anyone can do it male or female. Oh, if the dad's not there, the mom can replace him. It's not true. The dad is irreplaceable and the mom's role is irreplaceable.

And that's because the roles are different. And they're united in a partnership, but their roles are different. And that goes all the way back to the creation mandate where God says in Genesis 1, 27 and 28, he says he made the male and female. And then he gives them a command. He says, be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth and subdue it. And of course, obviously reproduction is requires two people, a male and a female. But also more at large is the raising of a family. And it becomes evidently clear throughout the Bible the different roles of a mother and a father. And the structure provided even in that family. So fathers are the leaders of the family. Often people call it the head of the household. And wives are the homemakers.

They're the support to their husbands and the loving care to their children. Also, this sounds kind of like a joke, but there really is something to, well, you can wait until your dad gets home. when a mother is disciplining a child, not the moms can't discipline, absolutely. The moms, that's like tons of their job is to discipline and to instruct her children in the way of the Lord. But that's also part of the father's job and he does it in a different way than the mother does. And children respect their fathers in a different way than they respect their mothers. We're commanded to honor our father and mother. And yes, honor is the same and is due to both.

But when I was a child and it was wait till your dad gets home, that meant I'd really messed up that I was in for a big talking and probably pretty intense punishment. And furthermore, fathers show their children how to respect their moms. And so they demand, they ought to demand the respect that that woman deserves. And they can incite that in their children in a way that is different than anyone else can because they are the fathers, they are the leaders, they are the heads of the household. And it's really sad to see that children really do often press and oppose their moms more likely than they do their dads. And so when a dad is absent that continual strife or

conflict or disrespect is likely much greater because there is no father figure or father role there to provide the stability and demand the respect that children ought to give both their parents. And in addition of husbands and fathers demanding the respect for the wife and the mother that the children ought to give, he ought to respect her as well. And he demonstrates that to his children. And likewise, she does the same to her children. She demonstrates the respect and honor that they ought to give to their father through her love and her respect of her husband. And yet we're all human, right? We all bicker.

We all fight. We have disagreements. We have different perceptions and perspectives. And that is something that's beautiful about the partnership in marriage is the way to work through that and to discuss it as a team as a couple. And of course, like I said, we're humans and we're sinful humans. And so we're going to mess up. We're going to have fights.

we're going to be hurtful. And there's something interesting about this that it sounds twisted. And yet it is true that when parents fight, what's important for their children to see is how they fight and how they make up, how they remedy the situation, how they respect one another through differences, how they continue to respect and love one another, even in hurt. And so as corny as this may seem, I'm going to play. a decently long clip from a very well-known movie, The Incredibles, that I grew up watching,

and I loved watching in this movie, The Incredibles, the fight scene, well, it's a superhero movie, so fight scene doesn't really narrow it down. But when Bob and his wife are disagreeing, I think her name's Helen, if I remember incorrectly, when they have a disagreement, they start fighting and their children overhear it, and then the way that they respond to their children seeing it and how they explain it and then how they honor each other is really important to see. And it definitely struck me as a child of, oh, no, they're fighting. That's not good. And then they made up.

So children can sense that instability and then when wrong is made right. So here it is. Is this rubble? It was just a little workout. Just stay loose. You know how I feel about that, Bob. Don't you, we can't blow cover again. The building was coming down anyway.

What? You knocked down a building? It was on fire, structurally sound. It was coming down anyway. Tell me you haven't been listening to the police scanner again. Look, I performed a public service. You act like that's a bad thing. It is a bad thing, Bob. Upruding our family again so you can relive the glory days is a very bad thing.

Reliving the glory days is better than acting like they didn't happen. Yes, they happened. But this, our family is what's happening now, Bob. And you are missing this. this. I can't believe you don't want to go to your own son's graduation. It's not a graduation. He is moving from the fourth grade to the fifth grade. It's a ceremony. It's psychotic. They keep creating new ways to celebrate mediocrity, but if someone is genuinely exceptional, then they... This is not about you, Bob. This is about Dash. You want to do something for Dash? Then let him

actually compete. Let him go out for sports. I will not be made the enemy here. You know why we can't do that. Because it'd be great! This is not about you! All right, Dash. I know you're listening. Come on out. You too, young lady. Come on. Come on. Come on. It's okay, kids. We're just having a discussion. Pretty loud discussion.

Yeah, but that's okay. Because what's important is that mommy and I are always a team. We're always united against the forces of... Pig-headedness? I was going to say evil or something. We're sorry we woke you. Everything's okay. Go back to bed. It's late.

Tonight, mom. Night, dad. In fact, we should all be in bed. Okay, so. So the phrase that I want to emphasize really quickly is, mommy and I are always a team. We're always united. So that's okay that we're having a discussion.

Oh, we're pretty loud discussion. Well, we're always together. And that's really important for kids to hear and for kids to see. And I just wanted to emphasize that because the reality of like a perfect place where nothing is ever, there's no disagreements or there's no fighting and we're always just loving and honoring each other is not going to happen because we're sinful. And so the important issue is how we deal with that and how we approach it, especially in front of the children. One more thing to add on this design of a partnership of a mother and a father.

I love a quote from Ryan Anderson. He works at the Heritage Foundation. And he says that there's no such thing as parenting. There's only mothering and fathering. And that totally encapsulates the idea of two different roles. in the family of a mom and a dad in the way that they complement each other and that they work in a partnership but that their roles are different. You're listening to Strength and Dignity.

I'm Michaela Estruth and today we're honoring our dads in respect of Father's Day. Thanks for joining. You're listening to Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. So furthermore, not only are fathers necessary to the role of the family, which then provides stability in the family, structure in the family, and also in system. society at large, but the father is a depiction and an imitation of our heavenly father. God uses fatherly imagery constantly throughout the Old and New Testament. In 2 Samuel 7, he promises David, the king of Israel, that there will be a descendant to come from David, who is ultimately Christ,

who is the Messiah, but he promises that a king will come and build a house for him, and he will dwell, God will dwell among his people. And in that passage, at 2 Samuel 7, he says in verses 14 and 15, I will be to him a father and he shall be to me a son. When he commits iniquity, I will discipline him with the rod of men, with the stripes of the sons of men. But my steadfast love will not depart from him. And I love that verse. I think it's so beautiful in both emphasizing the importance and the necessity of discipline. And he even emphasized, is the rod of men and the stripes of the sons of men, but then my steadfast love will not depart from him. And that's the beauty of what discipline actually is. Discipline is a form of love. And for children,

obviously, doesn't feel very loving in the moment, but it is love because you are instructing that child in the way of the Lord. And that is exactly what God does for his people, for his people Israel, for his people in Christ as well. And that's so beautiful because he says, my steadfast love will not depart from you. In a moment of anger or in a moment of disappointment, children may often feel what if they don't love me anymore. And yet, that is so beautiful that fathers implement that of my love is unconditional. I love you no matter what. And I discipline you because I love you. And I'm providing stability and I'm calling you to a higher standard. And I'm teaching you what it means to be a young man or what it means to be a young woman and demonstrating to that

young girl how she ought to be treated in the way that I show love to your mom and to you. But also, I am calling you to do better. I'm calling you to a higher standard. So I'm correcting you're wrong. And yet, I still love you. All of that is an imitation of what God does for us. And furthermore, God is not only a father to his people Israel or to his people in Christ, but he is a father to Christ, that the beauty of the Trinity is God the Father, God, the Son,

God the Holy Spirit, in the relationship of God, the Father, and God the Son. And that strikes at our innate understanding of love, because that's the first love that anyone ever knows, is the love of a father to a child, the love of a mother to a child. And that's what makes the cross so painful is that Christ on the cross was forsaken. He says, my God, my God, why have you forsaken me? His father forsook him. And that shows that one of the utmost painful circumstances is the rejection of a father. And yet, God forsook Christ in order to save us for our sake.

Christ gave himself up for our sake. And so also husbands not only imitate God in their in his role as a father, but they also imitate Christ. And that comes in to the role of marriage. And this is often quoted at several weddings, Ephesians 5, the role of a wife and the role of a husband in the fact that they are different. And so in Ephesians 5 verses 25 through 31, Paul says, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way, husbands should love their wives

as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it. Just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. therefore a man to leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this mystery is profound and i am saying that it refers to christ in the church so this is beautiful not only in the role of fathers but in the role of husbands that they are imitating christ in his love for the church it is a sacrificial love it is a love of oneself because you love her as you love yourself you put her first before yourself in effort to demonstrate that, that sacrifice. And then Paul refers back to the creation mandate, back to, he quotes from Genesis 2 this time,

with the creation of Eve for Adam, and he calls this a profound mystery, that a man shall leave his father and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh, and then says that it is a mystery that refers to Christ's love for the church. So men are both imitating God's love for his children and Christ's love for his church, which is an astounding responsibility, a huge role, a huge calling. And that's why it's so important that women are in support of men, that they are calling them to higher standards to be men and what that looks like, but also being thankful and being humble and honoring them for who they are, for the roles that they play, for the leadership

that they give, for the love that they give, and for the sacrifice that they give. And again, going back to what I've been saying this whole time, it's a partnership. It's a complement of one another with different roles. I mentioned on the Mother's Day podcast that women are constantly giving of themselves, that it's a sacrificial love, that wives and mothers are giving of themselves in sacrificial love for their family, that they're putting their child's needs before their own. So women are also demonstrating sacrificial love, but doing so in a different way. And it is so important that women are honoring their husbands because children are paying attention to that. You're paying attention to how mom responds to what dad does, to how mom treats

dad, to how mom talks about dad to other people, to her children, it's extremely important to demonstrate that love for each other to your children. Continuing on in Paul's letter to the Ephesians, in just a few verses later, it's technically the next chapter, but it really is like two verses later. In Ephesians 6.4, Paul writes, fathers, do not provoke your children. to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. So this circles us back to where we were at the beginning. Paul moves from the role of the husband to the role of the fathers because that's a natural

move. And what husbands become is fathers to their children. And then he again emphasizes discipline that we mentioned in God's role to his children. And the importance of that, the psalmist constantly praises the man who, uses the rod of discipline and condemns what he calls the foolish one who does not discipline his son and that his son will grow up to be rash and wild. And again, this, even in Paul's words in Ephesion 6.4, it goes beyond discipline. It also is in the instruction of the Lord that fathers are training their children.

They're presenting a worldview to their children and their children are paying attention. So that's all I have. I want to end again with the video from Lila Rose, the crisis of fatherlessness. She, in the end of her video, I just think she sums it up really well. And so I wanted to pull that up. And again, you can visit liveaction.org for the full video series of these. Men, you are needed. You are desperately needed.

We need you as husbands. We need you as fathers. We need you as father figures and brothers. we need you as gentlemen who will respect and protect women and children. Lives literally depend on it. Thanks for listening to Strength and Dignity. I'm Akila Estruth and you're listening to Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM.