WRFH/Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM - The Poetry Fix: Since She Whom I Lov'd Hath Paid Her Last Debt

Episode Date: September 14, 2026

Is it possible to have enough love to be content? Can a Christian be content with God's love, being that God is infinite, or will he always crave more of God? And what relationship does God's love for us have with our love for others? John Donne wrestles with all these questions and more in "Since She Whom I Lov'd Hath Paid Her Last Debt." Tune in for Erika Kyba's reading of this complex poem.

Welcome to the Poetry Fix on Radio Free Hillsdale 101.7 FM. I'm your host, Erica Kaiba, bringing you your weekly fix of poetry from across time. Today we're reading John Dunn's, since she whom I loved hath paid her last debt. On paper, this poem is about a man who has lost his wife and now sets his mind on heavenly things since that's where she is. It's a simple concept, but our poet is John Dunn, who can't help but complicate the subject with his theological wrestling and ethereal passions. Let's start with the title line, since she whom I loved hath paid her last debt. The enjambment would have seemed alarming, especially for the Anglican Christian audience, who would have been reading Dunn contemporarily. That's because it was understood that it is Christ

who pays our debts, not we ourselves. The idea that Anne Moore, Dunn's late wife, would have paid her own last debt, would have been dangerously suggestive of purgatory, where souls are purified and pay off the debts of their sin before entering heaven. Dunn immediately corrects course, writing in the second line that his wife has merely paid off her debt to nature, meaning that she has returned her earthly body to nature as it was alone to her. Still, the first line remains as a kind of tease, an unsettlement that Dunn will continue to provoke throughout the poem. The most provoking thing about this poem, and about most of Dunn's poetry, really, is the

language of sheer excess. My good is dead, Dunn declares in the second line, now that his wife has passed on. He appears to have made his wife the locus of all earthly goodness, which you may call romantic, melodramatic, or heretical, depending on your temperament. Dunn then makes a turn to God, which might start to satisfy those who cried heresy, writing that both he and his wife were seeking God with one another's help. He beautifully writes that the spouses revealed God to one another as streams do show the head. And he's going to continue the image of rivers, water, and thirst. I have found thee, Dunn asserts to God, and thou my thirst has fed,

which is a clear allusion to the gospel episode of the woman at the well, whom Christ offers water that will satisfy her thirst eternally. So far so orthodox, Dunn seems to be affirming that God's love can offer a divine, lasting satisfaction that our earthly relationships cannot. But then comes the eighth line, Perhaps the most beautiful in the poem. A holy thirsty dropsy melts me yet.

Dropsy is a condition in which fluid builds up in a bodily tissue. Dun throws in a little contradiction and diagnoses himself with a thirsty dropsy. He is hyper-satiated with love in this case, and still craves more love. This is the eros that defines much of John Dunn's work. Both his love poetry and his devotional poetry are insatiable. In the case of this holy sonnet, Dunn is wrestling with the idea that, yes, the divine love can fulfill our desires in a way that nothing earthly can, but at the same time, how can a person really get enough of God, being that God is infinite? If you're John Dunn, it's not like you can push your plate away and say, I've had enough of the divine love today, thank you. The more you have of love, the more you want it still.

And that's the great and provoking mystery that Dun tangles with in today's sonnet. With all that said, let's dive in. Since she whom I loved hath paid her last debt by John Dunn. Since she whom I loved hath paid her last debt to nature and to hers, and my good is dead. And her soul early into heaven ravished, holy and heavenly things my mind is set. Here, the admiring her, my mind did wet to seek thee, God. So streams do show the head. But though I have found thee, and thou my thirst has fed,

A holy, thirsty dropsy melts me yet. But why should I beg more love, When as thou dost woo my soul, For hers offering all thine, And dost not only fear, Lest I allow my love to saints and angels, Things divine, But in thy tender jealousy dost doubt,

Lest the world, Flesh. Yay, devil. Put thee out. You've been listening to The Poetry Fix with Erica Kaiba. If you enjoyed this episode, consider following The Poetry Fix on Spotify, YouTube, or Apple Podcasts. And if you have any poems you want to see in a future episode, email your suggestions to the Poetry Fix at gmail.com. Join me next week and we'll be reading John Dunn's The Ecstasy.